I like to think I'm keping a 'relaxed ship' here.
But we can't throw away all traces of civilisation.!
We must keep some sense of decency and service to our fellow man ( women and pets included)

But... instead of Rum, I was only offered a choice of Onion or Garlic Schnapps with my breakfast !

It's almost enough to drive a man to sobriety ! ( the trick to Garli Schnapps is to not inhale whle you sip)

.. enough, at least to devise for yourself the non-inhaling system of drinking.

A belated word of warning though... try hard to not burp... ( or that other thing)... until we tweak the formula a tad closer to perfection.

It is impossible to sleep in the captain's cabin because of garlic fumes.

Also our winged friend, the bat complains. She is an apprentice vampire and prefers blue blood. But Baron Rupert von Krankbuster-Kwikk has so much garlic in his veins - it might even kill Count Dracula.

When I brought you up here on the last rum and wine shuttle, you promised not to bite anybody aboard. In my opinion Baron Rupert needs some bloodletting, but he is a sly old bastard, and protects himself every way.
Professor Frankenstein provided me with vials of fresh blood from his laboratory for you, which I gave the Danish Chef. So please do not bite anybody, not even Mrs. Grundy !

That bat has got to go. I saw it looking at me with a hungry look in its eye. The Captain should exert some authority and discipline Reinhard. How could he have brought that creature on board? He must be out of his mind. It frightened dearest Fifi and she bit me! I demand that you put the bat out the exhaust port immediately.

The Captain has a clothespin on his nose, Piaf. Don't you think that's strange? He also smells strongly of garlic. Or is it onion? Do you think he's trying to keep vampires away? I hope we can find a breath mint for him before he goes to bed. If we don't, we will have to put clothespins on our noses too.

We highly sensitive members of our corps de ballet, or Opera ballet force, strongly protest !!
Not only are we crammed under the snoring captain's bed, whttp://www.network54.com/Realm/Startruk/sleep.gif with other crew members (one of which snores in stereo)- now the rest of our necessary nightly sleep is spoiled !
The bat sings bawdy bar room songs and dirty arias !
This has to be stopped, otherwise we will think about - er - something - or else.
Frog No. 1
Frog No. 2
Frog No. 7

The bat started singing her arias with dirty texts, after Reinhard fed her one of the vials containing fresh blood, provided by Professor Frankenstein down on Earth.
I called the Prof. immediately. He admitted, that the blood was samples of the Black Forest Highway Patrol, taken from drunken drivers.