Just answer a few questions, please?

1: Which of the following substances do you most often drink ? RUM RED WINE VODKA WATER.

2: Where were you at 11.25pm on July 14?

3: Were you sober?

4: Are you sober now ?

The Immigration Questionnaire you presented places too much accent on consumption of alcohol !
It should relate to more positive things, like cultural interests, musical ability, and stuff like that.

Apply through channels for Form number IMM67821/5/22(b)

Oooh. Some of us drink WATER, your Magnificence. Is that alright? Most of us like sweet cream better and when the Danish Chef is in a generous mood we always have that too. BTW, we all sleep in your bed. Have you noticed?

PS. We also like to sniff corks so don't forget to save them for us, please.

Total strangers are practically invited to join the ship, but nobody ever asked me if I wanted to join.

AND I'M EVEN BOLTED TO THE FLOOR !

Besides that, I'm not even certain who I am .... I might be Herman, ... but I have a feeling I might actually be a Yorric.