Sady made the Captain take a dose of Epsom Salts today. He wasn't very enthusiastic, you know. Sady said she wants to make sure the Captain stays healthy and that she read that he should be taking magnesium.

I think she hoped he would be magnificently sozzled and wouldn't notice. He was magnificently sozzled alright, but he struggled magnificently anyway. In fact, Fang, Casey, and Carnaby had to help Sady "persuade" him.

Professor Frankenstein just told me, that too much alcohol intake robs a body of magnesium !
But this is no excuse for mistreating our magnesifent captain with Epsom salt !!
Z00ky, who has such a wide knowledge has sent me a list. All kinds of beans have a high content of magnesium. The captain will be served beans only from now on - refined by my best recipes on spices.
This diet will also help against the next Klingon attack. The fearful noises, emitted by our gallant captain, will drive them back !!

Hey, by avoiding beans you're avoiding a great source of free gas for this ship. ship.

Besides, any chef worth their Epsom Salt knows how to degas their beans.

They make me want to run! ( and most the time I can can't even walk straight!)