Mrs. Grundy's rehearsals did heavy damage to the Klingon vessel. This shows, how culture is a powerful weapon.
But , alas, fine art and culture are much neglected aboard here !! Eating and drinking, and collecting stinking socks, are in no way fitting behaviour for Earthlings, who should act as ambassadors of humanity, loved and respected by every Alien from Mars to Milky Way.
So, after Mrs. Grundy's concert appearance, I suggest we stage an opera, for the benefit of every Alien - from comet dwellers to gnomes in the Black Holes of our universe.
Herewith I submissestly appeal to His Magnificent Cultural Director, to support my idea. Which opera to stage first, depends on the available voice material. The cast should be about Space -
like Josef Haydn's "Life on the moon" from 1780, or Paul Lincke's "Frau Luna" from 1899 -
or everybody aboard helps to write a new opera in the style of Andrew Lloyd Webber (stealing from Puccini, Brahms and others).
By exposing Klingon snoopers to the voices currently rehearsing aboard the SS Incredibable you are in violation of the Intergalactic Treaty on The Prevention of Cruelty to Klingons !
Isn't it exciting, Fang? An opera about the moon! I hope the Captain gives his permission soon, and that we can all help Reinhard.
But, Fang, I am worried. If the opera is "cultured", doesn't that mean we need to have the pedigree to sing?
I know Billy Boy has the allergies. Maybe that's good enough? Mrs. Grundy says I have the mange. Do you think that's alright too? (If not, I have the fur ball also.)
PS. I am going to talk to Niko, Speedo, and Ducky. Don't you think they will want to sing too? And, Fang, is Donald Duck's nephew anywhere? There are rumors, I think.
Do not worry about pedigree necessary for culture.
Long before we Humans crawled out of our caves to invent Opera, Dogs and Cats were giving nightly arias to the moon, Ducks were singing, more or less harmonious, to the sun.
If "Il Magnificentissimo Direttore della Cultura" does not allow an opera about life on the moon, I suggest to stage Richard Wagner's famous "The Flying Motley" instead. Le Magnifique Himself may warble the captains part, and carry Elsa (Mrs. Grundy) up to heaven in the dramatic finish.
For me the role of the ship owner ! When I sing the aria "Will you, my child, welcome this stranger", even my bathtub does Standing Ovations !!
There is a slight problem with the suggested scene in which I carry Mrs Grundy to 'Heaven'.....
There is simply too much Mrs Grundy for even my Magnificent Physique to carry.
However.... if she could be placed on a 3wheeled hand-cart ( furniture removalists ?) it seems a workable idea.
That despicable man, the Captain, is suggesting that I am overweight !!! How dare he ??? Gilbert, I insist you strongly rebuke the Captain for his insulting comments. My weight is ideal. If he does not apologize to me at once you must make him regret ever having been born.
PS. I will NOT be carted anywhere. I WILL be carried !!!
Never fear dearest, I will put the Captain in his place. If he doesn't apologize to you at once, I will do to him what I did to the cat.
You are worth your weight in gold, my dear, and the Captain will realize it is an honor to carry you after I am through with him. Do have some more bon bons.
I actually like the idea of dropping Mrs Grundy from the cliff top.
Her screams on the way down should be entertaining... but I won't attempt the impossible in trying to carry her .
Thay is DEFINITELY something up with which I shall not put.
This is a good idea, having the heroine of our opera jump from the crows nest (disguised as cliff). Certainly in my opera digest I will find one with a tragic ending like this.
There is one problem : Primadonnas of Mrs. Grundy's weight are never allowed to jump from a cliff in an Open Air Opera, because the flood waves might drown spectators.
In our case we have to think about a possible "Tsunami in space", bringing danger to surrounding planets.
(ummm .. whaddaya mean.. that's not the right speech ? .....Oh , OK then !)
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN !
Mr Rinehard Von Braun , Intergalactic Opera Director , is now auditioning for players in his new operatic extravaganza...
