Too often; when my wife, Mrs. Grundy, has performed; and popcorn and peanuts were available they have ended up on the stage. I don't quiet understand how, but this has been so. For this reason I would like to request that permission to sell these foods be denied. The same goes for tomatoes, pies, and all other comestible items.
Me, il Direttore de la opera, demand, that food and drink is banned from the opera. Not only, that our Prima Donna is in danger of being hit by a broadside of beer bottles, there is the cultural loss of having her last aria (I'm dying, I'm dying) spoilt by rustle and crackle of wrappers.
