What did you find? Is it something edible? A big Hamburger? Or did you find socks for Ducky, or bones for Fang? This is very exciting. Please, please tell us. From Squeaky, a very curious cat.
I must say many many sorries for my tarty reply. You see, as I've been a recluse of the cargo bays I've missed most, if not all, of what has happened on the upper decks. In order to ready myself for space society, as you know it, I've read the past logs of the S.S. Incredibable and I now feel secure enough to fully integrate.
As far as what I've found below, well, it started with a very dusty, dusty chair--you know the kind which parks people for hair clippings? I was most curious with this piece of furniture, but as I approached it for a full smelling(smell being one of our strongest, and usually most ignored, fact-finding scents), I spied a little box beneath a chair leg. When I opened it, I was most surprised to find a human part within. There were full details outlining the operation in which it was removed. It appears to have been the voice-box, or larnyx, or juke-gland of the Captain himself. According to the operation diary, it's the gland which once homed his most beautiful singing voice. For reasons unknown it appears he had it removed and the present squak-box implanted. Furhtermore, it was partially disguised as a small rodent to keep susupicious minds from wandering too far from their skulls. As I was examining it, the pussycat, the one you call Parfait or such, took this gland as a suitable meal and launched henceforth straight into my arms, swallowed the gland whole, and then scurried off singing the most wonderful tunes these ears have ever heard. I know not where she's gotten to now, but I've become entrance with her puurfect melody. We must find her, and quick!
Also, on a sadder note, when I was stumbling around the cargo bay, I found a leaflet outlining the ship's requirements. I am afraid to say that each ship in starfleet is required to have up to three Hollow Ducks aboard. We have none. I do hope Ducky can make herself a full fledged swan before someone has to make her innards come outwards.
Do you think you could burn the leaflet about the requirement for up to three hollow ducks on board each ship? Little Ducky has a long way to go to reach swandom, I'm afraid, although she works very hard. (I hate to disclose this, but if worse comes to worse there is another duck aboard. Edward! He loves pies and has been seen lurking in the plants. If we need to hollow out ducks, Edward should have the honor of being first -- he has been a cad and left Ducky at the alter, an unwed mother-to-be.)
I was very surprised to learn Piaf ate the little "snack" you found in the box, Sherlock. She is very picky usually, and is considering vegetarianism. Her voice is lovely now, you say? The Director will be most interested in this news, I think. Prior to this Piaf had scant hopes of being allowed to sing, and was practicing for the corps de ballet. Ducky is making a tutu for her.
I, too, think it is very splendid you are out of hiding, Sherlock. Now you can join the Opera. Since Piaf has jumped into your arms once, perhaps she will do so again and then the poor Director will have one less character whom he needs to have carried. It's very worrisome for the Director, this carrying business. No one is willing to walk on stage, they all insist on being carried.
PS. Do you think the Captain knows he is missing a gland?
How could I forget the ballet in the first space opera ? Shame on me !
Having witnessed Piaf's dive from the crows nest, doing two backward and three forward loops before landing, I now declare her Prima Ballerina !
Ducky is ordered to sew a second tutu for the captain, so that Piaf and he can do the Pas de deux from "Swanlake", while Ducky in background does the Swan.
I will make a beautiful costume for you to wear. Do you like gold? We have lots of gold cloth now because the accountants were very generous to the Director. I don't know if Fang's teeth, his bark, or his growl had anything to do with their generosity but they left in a hurry and approved everything we asked for so I can make anything you would like. A cloak and a deerstalker hat? With a pipe and a magnifying glass? I am so happy you are with us. Your new friend, Ducky
Dear Ducky -
will you please keep the priorities in mind ?
First : All the gold cloth might be needed for Mrs. Grundy's costume.
Second : Concentrate on the tutus for the Captain and for Piaf. The rehearsal of their Pas de deux is scheduled on the upper deck of "Motley" tomorrow morning. You will do the background swan.
Welcome by-effect of this rehearsal will be to frighten the commander of a Klingon Spy Ship nearby. Probably he will instantly vanish into hyperspace, never to return.
the wonderful logs kept by the crew and associates aboard this tiny ship, I have learned much about the happenings. I was unaware, however, that Edward had decided to run out on poor Ducky. I will do what I can to burn the leaflet, but I am fresh out of matches and flints...any suggestions? I also believe that Piaf had mistaken the Captain's Juke Gland to be a mouse or something else.
I would love to be in your opera, as I have read much about it in the logs. I will carry anyone besides Mrs. Grundy, I don't believe my back would hold out.
Thank you so much, Ducky, for your offer to make me something to wear. I hate to be a terrible pain, but gold clashes on me...do you have anything in a silver?
Sherlock ! Piaf is missing for the ballet rehearsal. The captain is missing too, but we will find him soon.
Piaf has somehow gotten into your letter, while you rolled it up for the mail rocket to Planet Earth. Unroll the letter and release Piaf !
I am so so sorry! I will unroll immediately. Thank you so much for letting me know about this, and my most gravest apologies to you Piaf. If I see the Captain, though I've not seen him so I have no idea what he looks like, I'll tell him you are looking for him. Did you check the gym?
I am so glad you let me out, Sherlock. Thank you. And thank you for seeing me, Director. I was afraid no one would notice I was missing. I think Sherlock's words cast a spell -- like a poet's. He was writing about me and then, there I was, dancing on his page! I am sure he did not know, and it happened so fast I could not cry out.
I am fine, Director, and I will be at rehearsal for my pas de deux with the Captain. (Unless he'd rather dance with the vaulting horse, but I hear it is like Mrs. Grundy and has a fierce temper.)
Dear Sherlock, Squeaky is green with envy. She wants to be seen dancing across the screen too. I have tried to tell her that she will not like being animated, but she has a mind of her own -- this is typical of calico cats, I'm afraid. If we do as Squeaky wishes, it will just inflate her ego. And that is big enough as it is, don't you think?
Oh, yes, Sherlock. We have lots of silver. I am lucky you do not prefer the gold because the Director is reserving that for Mrs. Grundy. He thinks her requirements will be enormous.
She says she is a size 12 but I don't think she is telling the truth. Also she has puffy parts that concern the Director. Oh. I am prattling on. Sorry.
I will work on your costume as soon as I am able. Sady is helping me, but there is a lot of work to be done. If the vaulting horse decides it wants to take part in the Opera, I don't know what I shall do.
