Sady had confided in me how envious Squeaky had become after Piaf had accidentally ended up in my letter. Seeing as I really had no idea how it happened, when I tried to duplicate it for poor Squeaky, I'm afraid I made a terrible mess of things.



It appears as if I've turned her into a Mrs. Hyde or something....I need help to try to fix this. I'm so sorry, Squeaky! Any suggestions?

I have been trying to tell you, dearest, and now you can see for yourself. The creature which pushed you into the pool is HUGE and it is FIERCE !!! (Furthermore, I think it lacks breeding: no pedigree, I'm sure, and it probably has the mange too.) How could I possibly have protected you against such an one as that?

I am utterly devoted to you, dearest, as you know; but I am but I am only mortal. And I have to be at rehearsal soon to practice for my role as King Richard III. If I am not prompt the Director will give the role to that upstart, Sherlock Keyhole.

Is that a kittycat who has been on a long time regimen of cod liver oil and stinging nettles? Did the regimen affect its voice too? (I don't think it can sing like me, Director.) Maybe the kittycat can dance?

Kittycat, I don't think you should take any more cod liver oil and I don't think I will have any more either.

PS. If you want a tutu see Ducky.

she has become so disoriented at being turned into this creature, that she does not even realize that this kittycat she is seeing is actually herself. I still haven't figured out a way to save her from this space letter...any ideas?..And yes, Squeaky, it mighta been the cod liver oil mixing with the gamma-double-backgamma-rays. Or maybe just bad timing. Either way, I will see what I can do about freeing you.

But I'm still beautiful, aren't I? Do you like the lipstick? It matches my bow. But my voice !!! It's so low !

The Director will be very unhappy. Please, please, I want to look like I did before.

No problem Squeaky ! Cod liver oil will make your voice lighter and higher of pitch again.
But please get out of the captain's tutu ! He will be very angry, if he catches you wearing his costume.

Um, alright. I'll give it back. (But it matches my bow and my lipstick!) Maybe the Captain can wear my gold bathing suit?

OK.... I'll accept the tutu... but only if I get to wear Squeaky's lipstick too !
I've decided it has a dramatic effect on my visual impact.
( And a feller has to look after his appearance ! )