I didn't have time to do much writing over the past couple of days so I'll probably have to ask Mervyn for an extension. Also, this is not only my 10th RECBT chapter, but my 20th Kimpro chapter. So what better way to celebrate than to blatantly rip off yet another famous comic arc?
From the people who brought you Final Fantasy...
"Kairi, do you ever wonder about who we are? Ever wonder whether or not we're alone? If there are other worlds out there?"
"Riku, I've been wondering about that for almost my entire life. I think we should go one day and search. There has to be something out there. There just has to be."
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
Kairi slammed a pistol onto the table. "Let's do this."
Riku stood up while Kairi got out of her seat. "Everybody, cool it!" Riku yelled. "This is a robbery!"
Kairi waved her gun around. "Any one of you bitches move, and I'll execute every last mother#$$%in' one of you!"
"Kairi? Riku? I finally found you!"
The two teens looked to see their friend Sora looking up at them with a briefcase in his hands.
"What's it to you?" Riku asked with disdain. He gestured at the two figures behind Sora. "I thought you cared about your friends over there more than us ever since you found the Case Blade."
Jules Winfield shoved Sora out of the way and pulled out his 9 mm pistol. "I don't have time for this #$*#! Hey Riku, do you read the bible?"
Quentin Tarantino Presents: Kingdom Hearts!
Mr. Pink took a puff from his cigarette. "For all I know, you could be the rat."
Mr. White took offense. "Yeah, well for all I know, you could be the #$*#in' rat!"
"Now you're using your head! Though personally," Mr. Pink whispered into Mr. White's ear, "I think the new guy's the rat." The two looked over at the smiling Sora.
"Hello! Do any of you guys know where I can find the Keyhole?"
In another shot, Sora appeared at an items shop.
"Wow, thanks for the potions, ethers and this... uh... What is it again?"
"AK-47! When you absolutely, positively got to kill every mother#$(#er in the room? Except no substitutes!"
In another shot, a bald man with a shotgun held Sora, Jules and Vinnie at gunpoint. His girlfriend stood next to him, also armed.
"Which one should we kill first, Mallory?"
"Kill the fat one first, Mickey! Kill the fat one!"
"Hey now," Vincent calmly said. "I am definitely not that fat."
"You shut up!" Mickey Knox barked.
"COURAGE!" Sora yelled to announce his summon. As he did, the room filled with smoke. When it cleared out, Val Kilmer stood in front of the Natural Born Killers while dressed as Elvis in a gold suit.
"Uh huh!"
Quentin Tarantino Presents: Kingdom Hearts! Now available for Playstation 2.
Vincent pointed his gun and smiled. "I mean, you got to have some kind of opinion on the matt--"
*BANG!* *SPLAT!*
"What the #$#* just happened!?" Jules screamed behind the wheel.
"I just shot Aeris."
---
Faust flipped through the channels. "That's almost as bad as Rise of the Robots Xtreme Beach Volleyball."
The Great Reset had worked wonders on Faust. No longer was he Dr. Faust Baldhead: reformee from the future whose role changed whenever he altered the events yet to come. Kim's rebuilding of the universe caused him to become just plain Faust, a man hiding his face under a paper bag to distance himself from his formerly violent life as Dr. Baldhead. Faust lived in a mansion across the street from fellow all-around good guy Kim Kaphwan.
And that's why a big fireball blasted through the roof and settled upon his floor. Faust quickly pressed the mute button on his remote and inspected a man lying on his floor, seemingly made out of orange flame. Next to him was a surfboard of the same color. Faust picked the man up and placed him over the board since he was beginning to burn a hole into the floor.
"Kap...hwan..."
"Huh?" Faust asked.
"Must... find... Kaphwan..."
"He's across the street," Faust told him. "What's this about?"
"Have to... warn him..."
"Okay, then. And you are...?"
"I'm... the Cinder Surfer..." he slowly shook his head back and forth. "Must warn Kaphwan... Great danger... Must be stopped!"
"Sounds serious. And what is this danger?"
The Cinder Surfer grabbed the strange doctor by the lapels and screamed, "Clownos is Coming! His arrival could mean doom for the entire uni--"
"Hold that thought." Faust pressed the mute button again. "Wrestling's on."
Adon held a cell phone to his ear. He was checking up on his son Adong. "Uh huh. Really. That's good. And Jaedon will be out of juvi when? Then break him out! Wait, what's that? You're kidding. A train wreck? Only scraps of her left? Okay, then. You go to your mother's funeral and then you can break your brother out of juvi. Uh huh. Great. Talk to you later. Bye."
Adon turned off the phone and put it away into his shorts' pocket. He was standing on top a small satellite created earlier, orbiting around Earth. He looked to his new master and gave sneer #45 (the "Okay, I'm done talking on the phone" sneer). "Now let's get back to business, Mr. Tooth."
"Call me Clownos!"
The Legend of Muay Thai cowered. "Whatever you say! You're the one with the awesome power."
Clownos, alias Needles "Sweet Tooth" Kane, was now omnipotent. And with that, his appearance had changed drastically. His gut turned to rock-hard abs. The flames on his head had finally ceased, leaving only scars. And his crusted mask not only looked like new, but it literally became his face. The mad clown stared at the planet Earth from his stone satellite while his hands folded behind his back.
Adon tried not to stare at Clownos' hands, afraid that he may get caught eyeing the gem-encrusted piece of wool in Clownos' right hand. Adon needed to hide the fact that he wanted the Unlimited Sock for himself.
"So what are we-- you, going to do with all that power first? Going to blow up the world?"
"I can if I wanted to. I rule reality now, don't I? I can slaughter them one by one and nobody can stop me. But that chaos will have to wait." Clownos looked over his shoulder to see Frost morosely staring away from him. "First I must prove myself to my true love Frost."
"Trouble in paradise, huh? I thought you two were perfect for each other. What gives?"
Clownos continued staring at the blue ninja girl for a moment, and then looked back at the planet before them.
"She's frigid."
---
Somewhere else, Sie Kensou sat at a drum set and made with a rimshot.
---
Tina Armstrong drove Cammy's head into the mat and went for the cover. The ref counted the easy three count and declared Tina the winner. To the cheers of the fans in attendance, she stood up and raised her hands in victory.
Then Mileena blindsided her. The grotesque clone tossed Tina to the outside and continued the punishment.
"I'm pretty!" she maniacally screamed while stomping on Tina's hand. "*I'm* pretty! You're just a slut! I'm prettier than you!"
Her boyfriend Baraka calmed her down by hugging her from behind. He looked down at Tina with his shark-like grin. Then he looked even more satisfied as Mileena licked his neck and bit into his ear.
But when things seemed their bleakest, Skullomania ran down the ramp with his cape fluttering in the wind.
"Stand back! There's a skeleton coming through!"
---
Gavok
It's on like Donkey Kong
Posted on Jan 24, 2003, 1:09 PM from IP address 24.59.187.219
