Incidentally, Merv, I think you got the wrong main title up in the RECBT page. :)
Chapter 37
by Wildfire
The Good
- Decent story. Good length for a first impro. Good grammar and spelling. No complaints in the technical department.
- Fourth wall breakages. I don't know about the others, but I missed those. :) The use here is not too gratuitous, which is a plus.
- The anvil missing Kyo. Tsk, tsk, you need to improve on your aim, young padawan. :)
The Bad
- Not much complaints here.
- Could have developed thE fUtUrE idea somewhat. Give more background on what Terry is trying to prevent. Maybe draw some references from comics or something. (I honestly got a "Days of Future Past" imagery while reading.)
The Overall
- Story development could have touched on other developments in past chapters. But concentrating on one plot point *is* good for a beginner. Still, I miss Ayane and Bulleta. :(
- Good work on a first impro chapter. Humorous sequences could use a bit of refining, but that could be practiced through WRITING MORE CHAPTERS! :)
- What's the surprise? I didn't get what that was supposed to be. ^^;
Mark Poa
Posted on Feb 16, 2003, 10:22 PM from IP address 203.11.225.5