Rugal Bernstein was a nervous wreck. He sat within his Blacknoah, cradling his head in his hands. Looking up, he saw his fellow pure evil crime boss with the mysterious background, M. Bison. With the Shadaloo leader were his henchmen Balrog and Vega.
"Why did you call us over?" Bison asked.
"I don't know. I just needed somebody to talk to. My life has been hell lately."
"How so?" asked Vega.
"Remember about six months ago when we all got high and started talking about what would have happened if Kim Kaphwan and his team won each year of King of Fighters instead of Kyo and K'?"
Bison smiled. "I remember getting high, but I don't remember much else."
Vega and Balrog laughed. They high-fived, then each screamed in pain.
"Ow, you cut my hand!"
"Ow, you burned my hand!"
Rugal continued. "Anyway, I've been having these really fucked up dreams lately. They're like as if Kim won King of Fighters, only it's not him. The events are the same, but the people are different. Like instead of Kim and Jhun, it would have Megaman and Zero. It makes no sense!"
Vega whistled. "That is fucked up."
Balrog walked away. "Guys, I'm going to go get a breath of fresh air."
Bison nodded. "You do that. Continue, Rugal."
"I just don't know what to do. The dreams don't stop! I've had them all from '95 to 2001."
"No '94?" Vega asked.
"Not yet. But I wonder if it has to do with... Where did Balrog say he was going?"
Bison looked over his shoulder. "He's getting a breath of... We're underwater, aren't we?"
Rugal grabbed his hair. "Shit! A watery grave awaits us!"
Bison and Vega high-tailed it out of there, eventually finding Balrog and bringing him with them. They didn't see Rugal escape, but were lucky enough to get out of the Blacknoah before it sank completely. They stood upon Bison's escape dingy and watched the explosions of the dying ship.
"Damn!" Vega groaned. "My lunch money!"
"What?" Bison asked. "What do you mean your lunch money?"
Vega handed Balrog five (Bison) bucks. "Balrog bet me five dollars that he could sink the Blacknoah. And tomorrow's taco day at the Shadaloo cafeteria. Damn it!"
Balrog pocketed the cash and smiled. "I followed you to Rugal's place just to get his lunch money! Ha!"
Bison sighed. "I see. So that's your purpose. I'm sorry I failed to train you enough. Now, let's go home and I'll teach you never to gamble without me, you bitches!"
[---]
Rugal sprang up in a cold sweat. "I need therapy."
[---]
FORGOT ABOUT JAE
Chapter 36: Life Ain't Easy for a Boy Named Sue
Story ripped off its compact disc and put on the Internet by Shelby Scott, The Darkheart One
Chapter tied to the railroad tracks by Gavin "Gavok" Jasper
[---]
Last time on Forgot About Jae:
- Nakedity!
- We learned that Chizuru is never lonely on a Saturday night!
- Serious Sam has shown up, acting a lot like one of my personal heroes!
- Lucca's got her shit together. Finally.
- Jae was forgotten. In fact, the main characters of the story only got about five seconds of fic time.
[---]
Eiji Kisaragi sat down at his computer. "My name is Eiji! It starts with E! You know what else starts with E? Email!"
A new message appeared on his monitor.
"Dear Eiji,
How's it going? I was wondering if you could show me some of your artistic skills by teaching me how to draw a robot ninja.
Rosco
Pittsburgh"
Eiji laughed. "A robot ninja? That's easy! Feel free to follow along with my simple instructions! My drawing skills are totally sweet!"
He pulled out a piece of notebook paper and held a pencil. "Okay, let's see here. First you got to draw a thin torso. Add some skinny arms and legs. Yeah, there we go. Eh, he's looking a little too human. Let's give him some claws. And a cool sword. Let's see... add on some wings, glowing eyes and a skeleton jaw and..." Eiji blinked. "You know what? I think I have to start again. Yeah, this is pretty bad." He tore off the piece of paper and crumpled it up
Eiji's roommate Remy happened to be walking by. He looked at Eiji, and then looked down.
"I'm sad that he's drawing."
"Get out of here!" Eiji bounced the crumpled piece of paper off Remy's head. Remy moved on to his room where he took solace in some goth rock.
"Okay, let's try again." Eiji pulled out another piece of paper. "Draw the torso... add the arms and legs... Let's give him a cool UFO shaped head. We'll keep the sword. The sword is cool. You know, let's have a flag sticking out of his back. For good measure. Yeah, that looks pretty good there... sticking out his back like that. Give him some cool armor and we're done!"
Eiji admired his work. "Now we just need a name for him. How about 'Yoshimitsu the Chopinator?' I like that."
For no reason whatsoever, rock music began to crank out. Eiji banged his head while singing. If you can call it that.
"YOSHIIIIIII!!
YOSHIIIIIII!!
Yoshi was a man!
I mean... he was a robot man!
Uh... maybe he was just a robot.
..........
But he was still YOSHIIIII!!
YOSHIIIIIII!!
Chopinating the Mishimas!
Chopinating Paul Phoenix!
Chopinating all the ninjas with the WHITE FOX MAAAASKS!!
WHITE FOX MAAAAASKS!
AND YOSHIMITSU COMES IN THE NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!"
The ninja then fell off his chair.
In his room, a tear ran down Remy's cheek. "I'm sad that he fell."
[---]
"My fight is in five minutes," Christie said to herself, clad in her sheer white robe. She looked down the cliff she was on and stared at the body of water below. "That means I have this place all to myself."
Taking a deep breath of the island air, she dropped her robe. Once the light fabric completely settled around her feet, she ran off the cliff, flipped forward and dove straight down into the water.
thud
The always-peeved Pantsless Yuri Sakazaki walked by the bottom of the cliff, a minute or so early for her match. "Might as well get this stupid fucking shit done with. I can't believe this shit. I'm so going to kick..."
That's when she saw Christie's bare butt sticking out in the air, her head buried under a dangerously shallow pond. She was most definitely unconscious.
"Huh. I guess I won." Yuri walked away. "I wonder if Yamazaki knows people are ripping off his knocked out pose."
[---]
So anyway, I was wondering if anybody has any more questions to ask Eiji Kisaragi via email?
Gavok
"And Yoshimitsu smote the Gavok and all ways laid to chopination!"
Posted on Feb 18, 2003, 4:00 PM from IP address 24.59.228.100