And while we're updating...

                          This being an Account

                     of the Many Strange and Varied

                    Demises of that Most Interesting

                  and Amusing Victim of Circumstances:

                             Kyo Kusanagi



Accurate through Part 100



Kyo Kusanagi has died 348,000,337 times to date.



Clones don't count. I'm sorry I started that. On the other hand,

there is the matter with the meat grinder...



Stats & Statistics:



Beaten, punched, or kicked to death: 12

  By Geese, for insulting costume, banana: 1

  By Seung Mina, for staring at costume wrong: 1

  By Gai, after hitting on wrong Yuki: 1

  By Yuki, with club, jagged: 4

  By peculiar prop: 1

  By Star Platinum, after unfortunate mention of the letter Y: 1

  By K', after gag, Monty Python, involving clones: 1

  By Reptile, flipped out: 1

  By Tooth, Sweet, in Fighters, King of, '94: 1



Bisected by sliding doors: 2



Blasted by wave from ball, energy, Author-created: 1



Bled to death: 11

  From the nose: 6

   Induced by panties: 1

   Induced by ImproLemon: 1

   Induced by Leona, El(i)za, and Tiffany in scant clothing: an

     unspecified number of times which for the sake of simplicity I

     will brazenly assert to be 3

   Induced by Tiffany, ballistic trailor intrusion of: 1

  Subjected to overzealous blood sampling: 1

  From ears, echo induced: 1

  From paper cuts: 2

  Sucked dry by Dimitri Maximov: 1



Brain melted by seductive doctor: 2



Choked: 6

  On toast, official running-gag foodstuff of RECBT: 2

  On popsicle stick: 1

  By curtain cord: 1

  By Saisyu Kusinagi for losing sword, Kusanagi: 1

  On hamburger: 1

  On Championship, WCW, David Arquette's: 1



Crushed: 26

  By file cabinet; organs harvested: 1

  By boxes of Cool Whip: 1

  By lighting set: 1

  In orange-pulping thing: 11

  By piano: 1

  By gate, Happy Valley Hospital For Loons and Not A Secret

    Military Research Agency: 1

  In Stately Kim Manor, transforming: 1

  By spumoni: 1

  By Howard, Geese, falling: 2

  By Iori's fist, after high-five, botched, in world, alternate: 1

  By sleigh, falling, as Christmas past, ghost of: 1

  By car, in reverse, after being missed going forward: 1

  By severed head, Apocalypso's: 1

  By clone fight, cartoony: 1

  By anvil, 4000 pound, cartoon: 2

    By Poa, Mark: 1

    In Poa, Mark, interview: 1



Deprived of head: 10

  By punch: 1

  By Hardy, Jeff, lookalike with television on head: 1

  By Jhun Hoon: 2

    Holding a steel chair: 1

    Many kicks of: 1

  For use in Terry Gilliam-esque animation sequence: 1

  By Sledge-O-Matic, at show, Vegas, Gallagher: 1

  By Yamazaki, Ryuji, in psycho showdown: 1

  By pile of wood, sharp: 1

  By beam, eye, Cyclops's: 1

  By Hienzan, Kim Kaphwan's: 1



Died of natural causes at unusually young age: 2

  Unspecified: 1

  Attack, heart, after seeing Episode 2, Star Wars, script: 1



Drenched in acid for saying "I don't know": 1



Drove into a truck full of spaghetti: 1



Drowned: 2

  By simultaneous sweatdropping of a bus full of people: 1

  While bobbing for apples: 1



Eaten: 13

  By a grue: 3

  By tuna, mutant: 1

  By Jelly, Attack: 3

  Fried (mistaken for Bird, Big): 1

  As hamburger, after unfortunate hot barbecue sauce incident: 1

  By bloodhounds: 1

  By guard dogs, following catapult incident: 1

  By Raiden: 1

  By Leona, Muffin, Riot of the, for lunch (spleen): 1

  Whole, by Maximov, Dimitri: 1

  By Hellhound, Barfy the Stupidly Persistent: 1



Exploded: 10

  À la Mega Man, shot with Search Snake: 1

  When filled to bursting with slime, green: 1

  By land mine: 1

  Capriciously by author: 1

  By loud author protest: 1

  By missles and bullets, Axel's, in vault, bank: 1

  After respawning into Kim, Orochi-possessed: 1

  Without explanation: 1

  After drinking nitrogen, liquid: 1

  After hearing sigh, cast: 1



Exposed to head-exploding forces: 8

  Feedback, megaphone: 2

  Music, polka: 1

  Scream, Theresa's: 1

  Feedback, microphone: 2

  Scream, author's, brain-to-gray-pulp-reducing: 1

  Tiffany Milk, thoughts of: 1



Fell: 16

  And was impaled on walker: 1

  And was impaled on costume, Hedgehog, Sonic the: 1

  And was fried on rail, train, electrified: 1

  Down stairs: 2

  Into printing press: 1

  On explosives while carrying a match: 1

  After having window shut on fingers: 1

  Off roof: 2

    Dodging spittle, Old Spice-tainted: 1

    As stunt double, Mills Lane: 1

  Stage-diving, and crowd dissappeared: 1

  Through glass table and broke neck: 1

  Knocked over by gust of wind, impaled on boomerang, Leona's; then

    scavenged by squirrel: 1

  Off a cliff, clutching god, tiki: 1

  Out of tree, during cat rescue: 1

  Into equipment, electrical, after trip by Scougall, Steven: 1



Killed by bee stings: 1



Killed by asp, nesting in alimentary tract: 1



Killed by seizure: 2

  Diabetic, Telletuby-induced: 1

  Fit, apopletic, after seeing Kusanagi, Saisyu, treating clones, Kyo,

    like child, real: 1



Killed by a Garantz, whatever that may be: 1



Killed by Jack and/or Don: 6

  Fed into chipper-shredder: 2

  Hit with something that goes clang when used to strike Kyo Kusanagi: 1

  Spurred to suicide with phony Kyo/Iori love scene: 1

  Head whacked against wall by Jack, sabotaging costume contest: 1

  Covered in ketchup and tossed to Page Break, Big Bear: 1



Killed by Kim-Kaphwan-air-dash-induced whiplash: 1



Killed by [Name] Kaphwan: 3

  Launched into Orbit, Low Earth, by Miranda: 1

  Death Valley Drivered into Geese's desk, by So: 1

  Decapitated, head thrown at Dr. Unpaidextra, by So: 1



Killed by stench of geese (note: not Geese): 1



Killed in match, wrestling, by man named after fish: 1



Killed in an unspecified fashion: 41

  "In some manner": 1

  By lookalike, Hardy, Jeff: 2

  As a result of being a gag, running: 1

  By Kim: 2

  During Four-Hour Cast-Reducing Pins-Knockouts-Submissions-and-Kills-

    All-Count Warfare Jubilee, which may all have been a bad alcohol

    dream of Hyo, Blue, not that it matters in story, this: 12

  By Leona: 16

    In a fashion too violent to describe: 1

    In a fashion possibly not too violent to describe, but nonetheless

      not described: 15

  In parody of "Run, Lola, Run": 1

  By Mr. Big: 1

  By lookalike, Lauper, Cyndi: 1

  By keeper, greenhouse, in a manner the author REALLY didn't want to

    go into detail about: 1

  By Orochi Howard: 2

  By cast in afterlife: 1

  By Yagami, Iori, after hearing from Kushinada, Yuki, about whole deal,

     Miss X: 1



Knifed while imitating author: 1



Ran into closed door: 1



Run over: 20

  By cow: 1

  By truck, Mack: 2

  By object, unspecified, off camera, before episode even started: 1

  By bus: 2

  After shoved into traffic by Butt, Khushnood: 1

  By Kapwhan bus, after opening door and losing balance: 1

  By Clive: 3

  By Panzer Tank: 1

  On the freeway, after warping himself to America by mistake: 1

  By Chazz: 1

  By truck, ice cream, Tasty Treats, while on fire: 1

  By car, speeding: 1

  By llamas: 1

  By van, supply, I Can't Believe It's Not Toast: 1

  By Davidson, Harley, driven by Kelly, Rob: 1

  By BMW, stolen, driven by Chang and Choi: 1



Set on fire: 7

  By Iori's cigarette: 1

  By own Kusanagi Flames(TM): 1

  Blasted through glass window by Iori; plummeted three stories to the

    Gedo High basketball court, where he landed on Cow, Interrupting, which

    did not kill him; subsequently booted up three stories by Brando, Dio,

    only to be incenerated by Iori: 1

  By sharp and electrically dangerous corpse of Snake Man: 1

  In explosion, gas main: 1

  By Shingorochi, in revenge, act of: 2

    By Shinorochi himself: 1

    From being in Sydney Losstarot's Muffin Shop of Lost Souls when set

      on fire by Shingorochi: 1



Shot: 10

  By Clive, trecherous: 1

  By Clive, randomly psychotic: 1

  Accidentally, by cat, curious: 1

  By extra, prodigiously mustachio'd: 1

  With no explanation whatsoever: 1

  By author, for quarter-delivery purposes: 1

  By Zero Cannon: 1

  By eye beam, reflected: 1

  By bank robber: 1

  By Bogard, Terry, playing Fudd, Elmer: 1



Sliced and diced: 348,000,021

  By Cat, Bill the: 1

  By King: 16

    Spurred by an author even more perverse than she is: 15

    And once more, just for nostalgia: 1

  By glass, window, shattered: 1

  By rotor, helicopter, military: 1

  By move, special, expensive, Geese's: 1

  By shrapnel from Snake Man's head, exploding: 1

  By grinder, meat, in High School, Gorin, cafeteria: 348,000,000



Spliced into random shotoclones: an uncertain number of times which for

  the sake of simplicity I will brazenly assert to be 5



Smothered by curtains: 1



Stabbed: 3

  Through the head with a brainwave spike: 1

  By Yamazaki, Ryuji, carving portrait of Lisa, Mona, in psycho showdown: 1

  By Freefloatinghostility, with tape, Totoro: 1



Suicide by killing clones: Unspecified number, which I am asserting to be 40



Torn apart: 6

  In cartoony dust-shrouded fight scene: 1

  By Leona and Vice, as amunition: 1

  By hellhound, stupidly persistant: 2

  By Cocktail Waitress, Yashiro: 1

  By Shingorochi, with guitar string, B: 1



Turned into statue, carbonite by Bernstein, Rugal: 12



Whacked by airborn object: 23

  Celestial bodies: 4

    Micrometeorite, freak: 1

    Meteor: 3

      Real: 2

      Plaster: 1

  Plant, potted: 1

  Person exiting via window: 3

    Clive: 1

    Author, Mystery: 1

    Thug: 1

  Phone, cell: 1

  Sandbag: 1

  Anvil, big cartoony: 3

  Tiddlywink, rogue: 1

  Author avatar, jettisoned: 1

  Quarter (irony, oh the): 1

  Foot, giant, Monty Python-esque: 1

  Howard, Geese, during song segment: 1

  Yamizaki, Ryuji, returning from Low Earth Orbit: 1

  Briefcase, containing the K-Vir--correction, Itsuko Kaiu's lingerie: 1

  By brick, falling: 1

  By Akuma, dead: 1

  By safe, falling: 1



Zapped by Finger, Accusing, of Retribution, Heavenly, misfired: 3





BONUS SECTION! The Many Flavors of Hyo! (up to Chapter 86)



Hyo

Pimp Hyo

Red Hyo

Magnum Tok-Hyo

Ice Hyo

Yellow Hyo

Light Hyo

Soccer Hyo

Paper Hyo

Super Hyo

Blue Hyo

Tiny Hyo

Hip-Hop Hyo

Super Mar-Hyo

Flaming Clown Head Hyo

THE LEGENDARY HYO-MARU!

Mic-Hyo Jackson

Disc-Hyo Inferno

G. I. Hyo

Hyo Kusanagi

School Girl Hyo

Mary Sue Hyo

Big Bird Hyo

Segata! Sanshir-Hyo!

'Stone Cold' Steve Hyo-stin

Candy Striper Hyo

The Big Hyo

Hyorricane

Hyo-marang Flash

Hyo-tokan

Kid Rom-Hyo







BONUS SECTION!  The deaths of replacement Kyos! (only up to part 60)



  Iori:

   Innards turned to butter and coughed up

   Head crushed by Charles Mander

   Tossed out window by Goro



  Shingo:

   Crushed by refrigerator

   Head exploded by rapidly expanding Iori

   Tossed out window by Goro







Compiled by Mervyn the Wonder Slug, an expert in wasting free time

that he doesn't have.



Assisted by Wildfire, who is picking up after the slacker.