Back at the mansion, Smart Chang looked into a microscope, rubbing his chin. "Hmmm," he mused.
"What is it?" Cool Choi asked.
Smart Chang answered, "It's a microscope, but that's not important right now. Follow me."
Cool Choi nodded, moonwalking behind Smart Chang.
"I have discovered a disturbing trend, my friend," Smart Chang explained. "You see, many of our current problems stem from interference from possible futures."
"That's why I shoved a live ocelot between my toes, Smart Chang. Any idea what caused it?" Cool Choi asked.
"Well, I-." Smart Chang paused. Did Cool Choi say... no, it couldn't be. Surely being smart was beginning to take its toll.
"Well," Smart Chang resumed, "Some colleagues of mine had an initial theory."
Smart Chang opened a door to reveal Akane, Kuno, Ryoga, Shampoo, Mousse, Ukyo, Pantyhose Taro, Naru, Motoko and Mitsume beating two now-unidentifiable persons.
"RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Akane, Kuno, Ryoga, Shampoo, Mousee and Ukyo shouted. Pantyhose Taro saved his breath; besides, hitting fem-boy beat battle cries any day of the week.
"KEITARO/URASHIMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Naru and Motoko shouted.
Smart Chang cleared his throat and said, "Actually, neither Ranma Saotome nor Keitaro Urashima are to blame for the current state of events.
The beatings stopped, and all eyes fell on Smart Chang.
There was a long silence.
"...so you should probably stop beating them up."
There was another long silence.
Then Akane, Kuno, Ryoga, Shampoo, Mousse, Ukyo, Pantyhose Taro, Naru, Motoko and Mitsume resumed the beatings. Smart Chang shrugged and closed the door. "After having disproved that theory, I managed to find the true cause of the current state of events. And, I'm sad to say, that Kim Kaphwan is the cause."
"DAH DAH DAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Cool Choi sang.
Smart Chang nodded appreciatively. "Too cool, old friend."
From his vantage point in the dumpster, Geese Howard looked at the current tally. It was up to 64 -- scratch that -- 65 if you include the really tiny version of Terry and his obnoxious cheering friends. Sitting up in the dumpster, he replayed the events:
-Geese Howard would go to the top of the building.
-Terry Bogard would be there, usually in some stupid costume and speaking in some stupid mannerism.
-Terry Bogard would knock Geese Howard off of the edge of the building.
-Geese Howard refuses Terry Bogard's assistance and plummets because, let's face it, Terry Bogard is an insufferable prick. (And the thirty-fourth time it happened, Geese could have sworn that Terry Bogard was licking his lips lustily.)
Geese rubbed his chin. Something felt odd. Even for a vengeance-obsessed schmuck like Bogard, this entire situation seemed out-of-sorts. Mentally, he reviewed the situation again. Oddly-dressed Terry Bogard. Super-deformed Terry Bogard. Terry Bogard using armpit farts for speech. Terry Bogard lighting a light bulb with his-
"I GOT IT!" Geese shouted. "I HAVEN'T BEEN FIGHTING BACK!" Geese laughed, lounging in the dumpster. "MAN! I am so freakin' embarrased. And to think... if I had countered or blocked or done SOMETHING..."
Geese Howard shook his head and rolled out of the dumpster. He hadn't felt foolish since he failed that ballet class.
"BEWARE, students!" Madame Sinistar growled as it floated amongst its students. "I LIVE, and I HUNGER... FOR YOU TO STOP SUCKING!"
A loud explosion interrupted its floating. Madame Sinistar rushed over to an embarassed-looking Geese Howard and his now-unconscious partner.
"What... the HELL... was that?" Madame Sinistar demanded.
Geese Howard, embarassed and burdened with guilt, could only whimper, "...it was... a Raging Sto-"
"I'll TELL you what it was!" Madame Sinistar shouted, causing Geese to wince and tremble. "It was CRAP! It was SHIT! It was..." Madame Sinistar trembled in midair and spat out, "It was SHAP, the BASTARD love child of CRAP and SHIT!"
Geese, tears in his eyes, could only whimper, "I'm truly so-"
"RUN, COWARD!" Madame Sinistar growled, causing a teary-eyed Geese to flee the classroom. "And take your SUCK with you!"
A Sini-bomb bonked Madame Sinistar in the back of its head. It turned towards its students. "Who DARES to throw things in my class?"
The basketball-sized spaceship cleared its throat, rotated towards Bao and said, "He did it."
Bao's protests soon became shrieks of anguish as Madame Sinistar devoured him whole.
"No, Madame Sinistar," Geese chuckled grimly. "There shall be no more foul-ups." Determined and focused, Geese walked towards the elevator.
Posted on Mar 5, 2004, 7:01 PM from IP address 68.13.30.141