Getting over the guilt feeling takes a very long time as it becomes an intrinsic componant of ones psychy...............have you explored the possibility of getting professional counselling..most of us have at some point of our recovery............
If it was that easy to leave the Borg I believ the Organisation would have dissolved/fallen apart many years ago.
You are so very brave .join as many community groups as you can and build up healthy support networks.
Tara