Fear really was key wasn't it? You know in all of these years I don' think I have allowed myself to admit just how much the fear affected me. Your statement really made me think about it.
For as long as I can remember I was afraid, as a kid I was paranoid about getting in trouble. I never wanted to be perceived as doing anything wrong, or something that wasn't right. I made a great show of pretending to be a nice girl! Made me real popular...lol
I write poetry, and some of the images that come up when I think about that time is a black shadow within me, I used to think it was the thing that was wrong with me, which gave everybody a free ticket to reject it. Now I am starting to see it as the whole beliefs of the JW's that's the only thing "wrong" with me.