tizzle (Login shywolf) from IP address 22.214.171.124
It's been many years since I posted on here, one thing I have been struggling with is letting go of the idea that at any moment the world is going to end. It seems that line of thinking crossed from the spiritual realm into my personal realm.
After you left did you ever find that you just waited for a situation to go bad, or for someone to magically stop liking you? I know I struggled with that. Did you find it difficult to connect with your feelings and express if you were sad, hurt, or heaven forbid mad???
I didn't leave the religion because I had an AH HA moment that it wasn't true. I left because all of my immediate family was DS'd and I knew that once I turned 18 I would have to choose. So I chose my family.
Here I am 10 years later still struggling to let go that the world is going to end, I see the logical reasons why things don't make sense, but somethings still missing I just can't let the whole idea go entirely.
I'm not being glib; it took some therapy for me to work past it. I don't mean years, just several months. Some people suggest finding a therapist who deals with high-control groups. That's great, but I don't think it's absolutely necessary.
Also, along the way, reading Crisis of Conscience helped me snap some more ties. Once I knew the real story behind the Watchtower Society's "spirit-led" policies, other things became impossible to take seriously, too.
Other people here will have advice for you, as well. Only listen to mine.
Glad you found us.
This message has been edited by RodentWhoIsChilly from IP address 126.96.36.199 on Oct 6, 2011 5:06 PM
I've been thinking about this for a day or 2. For me fear of the end of the world plagued me for quite a number of years after I broke free. I had terrible nightmares of distruction & floods & people dying. This was back in 1975-76 when all hell was suppose to break loose & I ended up having to go for therapy too. But what helped me most of all is science. I read all kinds of science books.
In the beginning I read many histories of religions...early histories such as where they originated, which led to books on early conflicts between science & religion & superstition. Then I found Carl Sagan & his wonderful books. His books helped me take a step back & look at religion/superstition in general & how it affects people. The more science books I read the more peace I felt.
Science showed me that ,yes, the world will end someday, but not by some horrific vengefull god. I've said this before, there is no person, fish, fungus, tree or bacteria that doesn't die. Everything dies. Stars & planets die too. Most religions can't accept this.
I guess I didn't really give you a solution. This is what worked for me, try Carl Sagan's "A Pale Blue Dot". It put a lot of things in perspective for me.
Fear really was key wasn't it? You know in all of these years I don' think I have allowed myself to admit just how much the fear affected me. Your statement really made me think about it.
For as long as I can remember I was afraid, as a kid I was paranoid about getting in trouble. I never wanted to be perceived as doing anything wrong, or something that wasn't right. I made a great show of pretending to be a nice girl! Made me real popular...lol
I write poetry, and some of the images that come up when I think about that time is a black shadow within me, I used to think it was the thing that was wrong with me, which gave everybody a free ticket to reject it. Now I am starting to see it as the whole beliefs of the JW's that's the only thing "wrong" with me.
With me, it wasn't the world ending so much as the fact that I realized I will someday grow old. When I was a kid, every time I thought about Armaggedon, it didn't sound good to me at all. In fact, it made me very depressed. I had a lot of friends and close family who were not JW's and the thought of them being destroyed brought me to tears.
Growing old, on the other hand, was something I had never even thought of. Not only that, but losing people I love to old age. That just wasn't supposed to happen! I left the religion about 10 years ago, but I still have problems with this at times.
what you mean....i'm now the one growing old,and the jws I knew back home are dropping like flys.So far in one year I've had a heart attack,kidney failure,bowel surgery.My eyes are going bad,bad knees,bad back etc.....but i'm still walking around....thats something aint it?....Davey
For me it was realizing that one day I will die, I floated through life for many years thinking that wouldn't happen to me, seems like an odd thing to say, but when you look at it from the context of the witnesses it really isn't.
I agree with the previous posts.. but I'll also add that people have been saying that the world is ending literally forever. Seems like every year someone is predicting some kind of apocalypse. Eventually it just becomes old hat. I heard it so many times that my immediate reaction became "yeah, so what if it does??"
My years in therapy taught me an important lesson.. it is useless to worry over things you can't control. The end of the world certainly qualifies. SO if the world is really screeching to a halt, there really isn't anything I can do about it. Might as well enjoy the life I have while I have it.
It's certainly better than driving myself nuts worrying about something that I can't control (and that probably isn't going to happen anyway).
A lot can happen in a lifetime, even happiness you never knew and seems odd to get accustomed to.
Happiness can seem so odd, yet, dare to look it in the eyes, as you do with your memory of fear.
Tomorrow is a fantasy, yesterday a memory, the now a miracle, when you dare to discover it.
Oh, child, take your loved ones hand, count your blessings and feel your gratidude for them.
Keep on discovering the world and your feelings, while you focus on what appeals you and feels right.
- Who has told you, that you are anything but wonderful?
is that armageddon is for you also a reminder of your anger, and the messages you picked up about.
Discover ways of making contact with your anger, expressing it, the effects and especially the
Find your assertiveness.
Expressing what is inside you, can bring life. Holding in can bring death,
according to a dude, that seemed to live 2000 years ago.
- Who has told you, that you are anything but wonderful?
i realised that everyone always has and always will die, and the thought of being stuck in a world full of no one but dubs for all eternity is a far more disturbing prospect than just dying and being done with it.