I disclaim, as always. Some of the characters are mine, as is the prose, but the songs aren't and most of the characters belong to Days Of Our Lives.
The Beginning
This is the story of one very stubborn boy and one very patient girl. It all started long, long ago in a land far, far away where the Bad do wicked things and the Good don’t always win, but as starting from there and going all the way through to now would take too long to tell here, we’re going to begin not long, long ago, but in recent times. Do not be deceived - the land is as distant as ever. So although it all began in a land far, far away in a time long ago, when the Good were beautiful and the Bad cackled to announce their intentions, we’re starting when everything was Bad and about to get Worse.
Why all the capital letters? Because when evil’s coming in the shape of a Dimera, or, worse, the Salem stupidity gene that affects most citizens of Salem at some time, it needs a capital letter to show just how Bad it is.
Right, now for the story.
It was, well, frankly, it was last week. Thursday to be exact. Nothing was going right that day, not for Abe, not for Roman, not even for Mimi who since her reformation after OperaGirl.net hasn’t been able to hurt a fly. As our hero and heroine were the children of some of Salem’s most prominent residents absolutely nothing was going right for them and everything that was going wrong was going spectacularly Wrong. This is of course a form of natural law that states that anything that can go wrong will be shot to Hell as soon as things look like getting back on track after a very difficult period when femme fatales were attempting to seduce the hero and guys with well exercised chests and floppy haircuts were offering shoulders to cry on to the heroine because of the hero’s naturally heroic responses to the fluttering of the femme fatale attempting to seduce him and faking feminine distress.
So it was Thursday. A slow day, usually, when the weekly plot by Evil (I did say Bad was about to get Worse) to destroy a prominent Salem resident or residential family began to thicken with foreshadowing to allow for the Friday cliff-hanger without the actual event happening quite yet. As it happened, Evil was having an off day. Their normally perfect hair and make up had become a little dishevelled from too much thrusting of the hands through the luscious locks and flitting of eyelashes weighed down with mascara and the doughnuts had been positively stale. That was the problem with being Evil - Mrs Horton’s doughnuts became a forbidden pleasure, beneath outward contempt and too well protected to steal, unlike certain children, and brand names simply didn’t cut it compared to her powder puff creamy confections.
What? Oh yes. The story. Like I said, it was a Thursday, and it was late, one of those endless days that seem to take weeks to get through.
First things first though. It’s time to meet our secondary hero. Well, anti-hero-type-hero. He’s not all that heroic. He drinks too much, swears a lot, though this has been edited out on the whole, and generally makes himself a huge pain in the ass as much as possible. He suffers from major character flaws and tends to act first and think later. One other thing, there is only one person nearly as bull-headed as him and that’s our chief hero / idiot / romantic idol. This story was nearly called the Good, the Bad and the Stubborn. That says it all, really.
Well, except explaining why Aretha Franklin comes into this at all, why cops are so obsessed by doughnuts, why Dimeras don't just die, they depress everyone doing it, the eternal question of how 24 gets more gripping every week, why this was written at all, not to mention how on earth in a town the size of Salem with a population that frequently visits Europe no-one noticed that Colin wasn't in fact English but, that oxymoron, an Australian who played bad cricket.
Did I mention that you should expect angst and laughs in about equal proportions? No? That's because you shouldn't. After all, this is an RG fic...