Part 3 (THUD rating: Bad, very bad indeed!)
Archie moved to the front of the crowd. "Don’t you mean a stick up?"
"No," Jan cringed a little, "I mean a Shawn up!"
"I told you she was crazy," Diva murmured to Karen.
"What’s a Shawn up?" Jessica asked the others.
"It’s when you give me Shawn, or I shoot the lot of you!" Jan screamed back, tossing her corkscrew curls over her shoulder.
"That’s not going to happen," Mrs H. stepped forwards. "You see, you lying, brillo headed, home wrecking tramp, it’s against our club rules to give Shawn up to anyone as a hostage."
"Rule two actually," Sir K put in.
"What’s rule one?" Misty asked, temporarily distracted.
"Never say the S**N word." Seal explained.
"Oh." Misty shrugged. "I wouldn’t anyway. Momma taught me not to cuss."
"Give me Shawn," Jan screamed, frustrated by their chattering.
Terri moved forwards. "Why should we?"
"Because," Jan said slowly as if she was talking to the village idiot, or Austin, "otherwise I will shoot you!"
"What good will that do you, exactly?" Terri continued.
"You don’t want me to shoot you," Jan looked confused. "You’re not supposed to do this."
Her perfect plan - follow Shawn, wave the gun around, demand Shawn, leave with Shawn - had hit a snag. They didn’t want to let him go.
"Terri," Shawn came from the front of the stage to a position closer to the gun wielding maniac, switching into police officer mode. "Jan, put the gun down. You don’t want to hurt anybody here, Jan, so please, just put the gun down."
Fury welled up in her, "Don’t talk to me like that!"
"Like what?" Shawn asked, as calmly as ever, but inside scared stiff that the gun Jan was waving around would go off and a bullet would find a living target.
"Like I’m a child," Jan wailed. "I’m not a child. I’m an adult, and I want to be treated like one!"
"OK, if you want to be treated like an adult, you need to behave like one," Shawn took a slow step forwards. "Now give me the gun, Jan, can you do that?"
"This isn’t how it’s supposed to go," she was shaking now, her whole body trembled, and the gun in her hand waved violently through the air. "It’s not…"
"Jan," Shawn put out a hand slowly, coaxing the mad woman, "if you don’t give me the gun, I can’t help you. You said you wanted to be treated like an adult, well, so act like one!"
"Shawn," Belle hadn’t realised she was still holding the microphone, but the word she had breathed so softly was amplified until everyone in the room heard it. Jan’s eyes flicked from the handsome man in front of her to the blonde beauty on the stage, and back again.
"So it’s like that, is it?" Shawn’s almost hypnotic spell over her was broken, she was back to her old, tirade-yelling, crazy self. "High school’s over, Belle, or didn’t you hear? Shawn is mine now."
"Jan," Shawn was fighting desperately to get her attention away from Belle and back on to him, but it wasn’t working. "Jan, look at me."
Jan however, was off in a world of her own. Ignoring Shawn, she pointed the gun directly at Belle, the quivering slowing as she did so. "Don’t you get it, Belle? You lost. I won. I proved that in high school, and I can prove it again now."
"Jan," Shawn repeated with more urgency, "I need you to give me the gun."
Jan paid him no attention. "Shawn’s coming with me, Belle, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it!"
"We could take her," Tag whispered to CRene, "there’s enough of us."
"Do you want to end up with a bullet in you?" CRene muttered back. "I don’t like it either, but the girl’s so crazy she’s dangerous. Anyway," a smile came to her lips, "this way we get to watch Officer Brady in action."
"Amen to that," Dee added from somewhere behind them.
Jan’s head swung around, but she left the gun pointing dangerously at Belle. "Shut up! All of you, just shut up!"
"Jan," Shawn took another step forwards so that he was directly in front of her, "If you put the gun down, we can sit down together and have a nice little talk, you do want to talk, don’t you?"
She shook her dark haired head. "No, Shawn, I don’t want to talk." She held the gun steady at last, and pointed it straight at Belle’s head. "I want you to come with me." There was a pause just long enough for her to realise he wasn’t going to come willingly. "Or I blow Blondie to Hell."
"OK, Jan," he shifted into a position of submission. "I’ll come with you. Just don’t shoot anybody."
"We can’t let her do this!" Jade hissed at Kristy and the starry eyed Mary.
"Don’t worry," Kristy muttered, staring hard at Jan. "I have a plan."
"Oh God, no," Jade wailed quietly, remembering some of Kristy’s plans to see Shawn without his shirt, or in his uniform, or just using his police handcuffs. The latter had landed them in jail over night, and all night long Kristy had just repeated, ‘the arms, the arms!’.
Jan signalled for Shawn to follow her out of Mrs H’s bar. She kept the gun aimed at Belle. She couldn’t risk him trying anything. Not when she was so close to fulfilment.
Once they were outside, Mrs H’s changed from a bar full of women as silent as if Shawn was about to kiss Belle for the first time into a bar full of women who had just watched Jan try to break Shelle up yet again and were having none of it.
"She can’t do this!" Maria yelled across the room.
"We have to do something!" A whole chorus moaned together.
"And we will," Kristy stood in the centre of the stage, microphone taken from the fainted Belle’s hand, and hands on hips. "We’re going to get him back, girls."
"All right Kristy!" Sir K yelled from the back, where the two female police officers were still clinging valiantly to his biceps, and resisting the temptation to run after Shawn.
Leesh took her eyes off of the door for long enough to shout, "But how?"
The silence that followed was quickly broken.
"I’ve got Chris on following duty," Kristy nodded at the door. "And for tonight only, the Jamaristy girls are going to Save Our Shawn!"
"SOS!" The women chanted. "SOS!"
"Mary!" Jade bellowed in the brunette’s ear. "Shawn needs you!"
"I’ll wait for you, Mary," Brady whispered in her other ear tenderly. "Now go save my cousin!"
"Don’t worry, Kristy," Mrs H called from behind the bar. "We’ll have the victory party ready for as soon as you get back. Now go get him, girls!"
The three sisters pulled on their leather jackets, marched across the floor in their boots, and with Belle carried by Mary, marched out the door.
For the Jamaristy girls, it was stomping time.
And Jan was about to find that payback was not one but three infuriated bitches.
"Where are you taking me?" Shawn asked from his position in the back seat of her car, handcuffed, but not gagged or blindfolded.
"Home, baby, home." Jan answered in her most insane voice, swinging the car across the road and back to her mausoleum of a home. "Now you need to be quiet, baby," Jan murmured as she drove up to the garage. "Just for a few minutes."
Shawn started screaming and thumping his feet against the back of the seats as hard as he could, but no help came. Jan spun around in her seat and growled, "Quiet, baby, or Mommy will have to spank you."
That made Shawn keep yelling, even louder than before.
"I guess I’ll have to gag you after all," Jan sounded almost sad about it. She traced the outline of his lips with her fingers, not noticing his reflexive recoil from her touch. "Hush now, pretty baby," she purred, and stuffed the gag into his mouth, binding it back tightly.
His eyes opened so widely that she could see the white all the way around the dark irises.
She had terrified him.
Grinning like nothing else on earth, Jan pulled a blindfold down over his eyes and jumped out of the car, bringing him with her into the house.
"What are we doing here?" Belle had woken up sometime between driving from Mrs H’s Bar to Salem Place.
Jade glanced over at Kristy, who was surveying the house with a pair of night vision binoculars, and wished that she had had the foresight to bring her Stud Ray, which detected any Brady men (or any other truly gorgeous, gentle, giving heroes, though they were few enough) even through reinforced steel or four feet of cement. Instead of staring at Shawn, she was explaining to his girlfriend that they had to get him back from the psycho bitch from hell.
"You want Shawn back, right?" She ran a hand through her hair, checking that she wasn’t suffering from helmet head before she saw him again.
"Of course," Belle nodded seriously, still not understanding why they were standing outside of this musty old mansion.
"Then we have to go in there and get him," Jade explained. "Come on. Mary, Kristy and I will do all the talking. You’re here to untie Shawn, and get him the hell out of the way if Jan starts doing anything stupid or dangerous."
"This is Jan we’re talking about." Kristy pointed out. "Everything she does is stupid or dangerous or both." She was staring through the window at Jan’s supposedly secret room, into where she had dragged their beloved SBD, who lay bound and gagged on her four poster bed. Kristy didn’t even want to think about where Jan was or what she was doing.
Belle nodded again. She could do this. She could save Shawn while the Jamaristy sisters kicked Jan’s fat butt.
"The coast is clear. We’re going in," Mary’s voice came over the walkie talkie radio. "Go! Go! Go!" She hollered, and they stormed the Spears mansion.
"Jan, you brillo headed bitch!" Jade screamed as she looked up and saw the arch fiend herself, "Where have you put Shawn?"
"You’ll never make me tell!" Jan shrieked back from the head of the stairs. "Never!"
"Jan," Kristy stepped forwards slowly, signalling to Belle to skirt around them and find Shawn in the secret room. "I know what you think you’re doing. You think you’re making a life for you and Shawn, but you’re not. You live in a fantasy world, Jan. Shawn doesn’t love you, he will never love you, he loves Belle and Belle only."
"No," Jan’s emotional roller coaster took a down turn, and she sobbed despairingly, "it’s not true! It can’t be true!"
"Jan," Mary joined in, watching as Jade climbed up the side of the banisters, swung over onto the landing, and came up behind the dark haired woman, surrounding her. "What good is it being with a man who doesn’t love you? Don’t you want a life for yourself? Don’t you want someone to love you for who you are, and not just say they do because you put a gun to their head? Don’t you want to be loved, Jan?"
"I am loved!" She screamed, "Shawn loves me! He does! Otherwise why would he have saved me that night?"
"Because he’s a police officer," Jade’s voice from behind her startled Jan, and she dropped the gun. It fell down the stairs to where Kristy caught it, took out the bullets, and threw it away. "It’s his job to help people, to save people, sick people, like you, Jan. He doesn’t do it out of love, but out of duty."
"That’s not true!" The screaming had died down to a low animal wail, "he loves me," she hugged her arms around herself, pretending they were Shawn’s. Sobbing, she began rocking herself, repeating the words over and over, "he loves me, he loves me."
Jade signalled to the other two to grab her, but before they could, Jan slumped over in deep unconsciousness.
"Thank God that’s over," Mary cracked her neck back, and grinned.
"Thank the Can I think you’ll find," Kristy corrected, nodding to the metal can on the floor by Jan’s head.
"Huh," Mary picked it up, "I knew it would be useful for something one of these days."
Jade looked up at the higher levels of the open plan hall. "But who threw it?"
"Call me Tim," a deep manly voice said from the shadows. "Dr Tim."
A man, tall, dark, strong and handsome with a deep Irish accent stepped forwards. He looked a lot like Shawn, just a little older and just a little less stop your heart gorgeous, but not much.
Kristy took one look and fell deeply in love. "My hero," she pouted prettily, and Dr Tim was a goner too.
"Oh brother," Jade sighed. Turning away, she saw Belle drag out the traumatised Shawn, who kept muttering something about ‘the underwear, the hideous underwear!’.
"Jan was my patient," Dr Tim explained slowly, "I’m a psychiatrist you see. I thought she was cured, but apparently not. I’ll have her committed in the morning."
"We have to get back to Mrs H’s Bar," Jade reminded them all. "Back to lover boy, Mary," she added when Mary looked likely to argue.
Belle glanced down at Jan’s prostrate form. "What about her?"
"She’ll be out until morning," Dr Tim flashed a smile almost as devastating as Shawn’s. "So what are you doing tonight, pretty lady?"
Kristy took one step forwards, and Dr Tim ran down to meet her. "That depends," she breathed, flirting with him heavily.
Another step closer.
Dr Tim flashed that smile again. "On what?"
"On whether you can handle a woman being in control," she moved right up against him now, and Jade rolled her eyes.
"Baby," Dr Tim said sexily, "I can handle anything you got."
"Want to make a bet?" Kristy dropped her hair from its ponytail and just as quickly as she had moved forwards moved back again.
"Come on!" Mary interrupted at last. "We’re going to miss the party!"
"Later," Belle whispered into her new boyfriend’s ear, "we can have a party all to ourselves."
That put the grin straight back onto his face. "Oh, really?"
Belle nodded with a faked innocence. "Just remember the uniform, Officer Brady…"
"They’re back!" Sir K yelled from his watch position at the doorway. "And they’ve got some guy who looks like a cross between Bo and Shawn with them!"
That sent an excited murmur through the crowd, and had them fighting to be at the front.
The sisters stalked in first, and almost as one being, the entire clientele of the JMK’s asked, "Did you win?"
"Darlings," Mary purred, postponing her reunion with Brady for as briefly as possible, "We are the almighty JMK!"
"Which means?" Mrs H had the audacity to ask from behind the bar.
Mary grinned. "We went…
"We saw…" Jade put in.
"We kicked ass!" Kristy finished with a triumphant crow.
"And Kristy found herself a new friend," Jade added swiftly as Belle, Shawn and Dr Tim were pushed to the front. A hand came around her waist, pulling her away from her sisters into a tight embrace. She giggled. "And I found an old one."
"Mary Lou," Brady had kissed Mary so thoroughly that she couldn’t see straight any more. "This one’s for you, darlin’."
The band, having played, ‘We Are the Champions’ six times in quick succession, were glad of a break, so when Brady offered to put on an old record and serenade his new lady love, they were only too glad to give up the stage to him.
Brady sang slowly at first, and then speeded up, but always his words were seductive, his blue eyes almost undressing her as she stood before him on the stage, and his hand wrapped around hers. "You passed me by one sunny day, flashed those big brown eyes my way," he grinned then, "And oo I wanted you forever more.
"Now I’m not one that gets around
I swear my feet stuck to the ground
And though I never did see you before
I said, ‘Hello, Mary Lou, goodbye heart,
Sweet Mary Lou, I’m so in love with you
I knew, Mary Lou, we’d never part,
So hello Mary Lou, goodbye heart!’
I saw your lips
I heard your voice
Believe me I just had no choice
Wild horses couldn't make me stay away
I thought about a moonlit night
My arms about you good an' tight
That's all I had to see for me to say
‘Hello Mary Lou, goodbye heart
Sweet Mary Lou, I’m so in love with you
I knew, Mary Lou, we’d never part,
So hello Mary Lou, goodbye heart!’"
The cheering from the crowd went on through their long, long kiss.
Shawn and Belle had been so into each other they hadn’t noticed time passing, so it was almost half past eleven at night when the JMK girls came over to them.
Jade had left her lover sitting at the bar, but the smile on her face came along with her. "You know, Belle, you owe us a song."
Mary glanced at Brady and grinned wickedly. "And you’d better make it the one you were going to sing earlier, or there will be trouble."
Wrapped in Shawn’s warm arms, Belle at first didn’t want to get up on stage, but then she remembered what Mary was talking about. She nodded enthusiastically. He groaned, slightly, as she pulled away, but a dozen other girls moved round him immediately, so he wouldn’t get lonely for an instant.
Belle climbed slowly up onto the stage, and took the microphone once again. "OK, so first I wanted to say the biggest thank you to the Jamaristy sisters for saving Shawn earlier, I don’t know what would have happened to him otherwise."
A loud cheer went up from the crowd, and Belle went on only when it died down. "Now I want to thank you all for being here tonight, and to the raffle managers for making this night possible! I know without ‘Stud-U-Like’ raffle, and it’s one and only prize, there is no way that the Salem branch of the Cancer Research Trust could have been given the fifteen thousand dollars it so desperately needed!"
Another cheer, even louder this time, was yelled.
"And last, but certainly not least, I want to thank Shawn, not only for generously being the prize of the raffle, but also for tonight." It was Belle’s turn to grin wickedly. "Now someone once told me that there are many ways to thank someone, but the best come straight from your heart. So for you, my one and only Tough Guy, this is straight from my heart."
Belle put back her head, Shawn moved forwards and Brady gripped onto Mary tight. It had been one hell of a night, and it wasn’t over yet.
"I don’t want you to be no slave," Belle’s voice was good, but what made it wonderful was the emotion behind it. The sheer loving lust. "I don’t want you to work all day."
"But I want you to be true."
Brady buried his head in Mary’s shoulder and hair as his little sister sang so lustfully those potent words, knowing all too well what their effect would be on Shawn.
Mary smiled.
Belle sang on.
The effect on Shawn was obvious.
"And I just wanna make love to you
Love to you
ooh-ooh
Love to you,"
Shawn looked about ready to do something rash, but he was being held back by a mass of women all trying to dance with him at once. He noticed none of them. He only had eyes for one girl, and the things she was singing were turning his blood to lava.
"All I want to do is wash your clothes
I don’t want to keep you indoors
There is nothing for you to do
But keep me making love to you love to you
ooh-ooh love to you."
If there had been any tiny part of him that had not been hers before that moment, Belle took it by storm.
Her voice sounded throaty and low through the bar, and the clientele of JMK’s gave up any hope of getting near SDB. Instead, they started planning everything they could do to help Shelle, as they had dubbed the couple, along. Archie was thinking of a T-shirt for Shawn that kept conniving females away. Possibly it would read ‘Property of Belle Black’, on the front, and on the back it would read, ‘You can only drool, fantasise and stare like the rest of us’. Maria was thinking of something similar, only in boxer shorts.
"And I can tell by the way that you walk that walk
I can hear by the way you talk that talk
And I can know by the way you treat your girl
That I could give you all the loving in the whole wide world
All I want to do is bake your bread
Just to make sure you’re well fed," Belle let her eyes run up and down Shawn’s lean body. He surely was well fed.
"I don’t want you sad and blue
And I just wanna make love to you."
As if for added emphasis, she slowed a little and made a Marilyn Monroe style pout.
"All I want to do is bake your bread
Just to make sure you’re well fed
I don’t want you sad and blue," One final wink, and a little wiggle as Belle finished the song. Shawn didn’t know what had hit him, but he knew he liked it.
"And I just wanna make love to you
Love to you
ooh-ooh
Love to you
Ooh-ooh
Love to you…"
Shawn’s jaw had dropped. By God’s providence and a lot of female intervention he had this marvellous, incredible woman back in his life, and he was damned if he was ever letting her go again.
She came down off the stage and into his arms.
"I love you, Shawn," she said after what felt like a blissful eternity of holding each other.
Shawn kissed her thoroughly then. "I love you too, Belle," he growled back.
Their forever kind of happiness began there.
"A good night’s work, wouldn’t you say?" Archie asked Dee as they leaned back against the bar, watching Shawn and Belle dance alone in the middle of the dance floor.
"Uh huh," Dee answered happily. She glanced over at the resident barfly / dreamer / James Dean devotee / crazy girl. "Now if we can only get Philip and Mimi together, everything will be just perfect."
Terri smiled knowingly, and Mrs H moved closer.
"I think I have a plan," whispered RG conspiratorially, taking her eyes off the dancing couple just long enough to glance around in paranoia of fear of being overheard. "All we need is a moonlit night, a dozen red roses, and fifty packets of ‘Spud-U-Like’ mashed potato mix!"
Every woman in the club not completely preoccupied by the men, moaned as one, "Oh God, not more ‘Spud-U-Like’! Not after the last time!
"Don’t you trust me?" RG asked, a little put out, and pouting, hoping that Shawn would glance her way and knowing he wouldn’t.
"After what happened with Bo, Hope and the whipped cream dessert bikini?" Jenn shuddered as she remembered the consequences of that little excursion into the fantasy world.
RG dismissed it quickly. "That was different. This time, I’m going to turn off the electric blanket before we run the bubble bath in the water bed, and warn Mrs Horton about the um, shall I say rather interesting, THUD making, side effects of my home made icing sugar so she doesn’t make donuts with it for the town fair again."
"That was funny, though," Maria giggled at the memory of being playfully chased by a certain Salemite male through Salem Place. "I never knew the John Black harem desiring gene could extend so far through his blood and marriage relations!"
RG wiggled her eyebrows. "See? See? My plans do work." She thought about this for a moment, while the others stared at her questioningly. "Most of the time."
"Fine," Mrs H. agreed, smiling wickedly. "Just remember to warn us about the difficulties beforehand this time, Reb. I’m still trying to get chocolate sauce out of my best silk sheets from when we got Jennifer Horton and Jack Deveraux back together."
"No chocolate sauce this time, I promise." RG’s always highly active imagination was in overdrive. "I always figured Philip for more of a champagne sorbet man myself. Now does anyone now where we can get hold of sixteen litres of coca cola, three dozen eggs and a chainsaw?"
And she was off on another flight of fantasy, leaving behind her four very happy and very in love couples, a bar full of slightly intoxicated but generally ecstatic women, and a knocked out Jan Spears. All in one night’s (and several months of deconstructing her less reasonable ideas to form the plan) work for the girl they called Rebel.
Now if she could only get hold of the security codes for NBC studios, she could really jazz things up…
Artist: ETTA JAMES Album: Diva Title: I Just Want to Make Love to You
Artist: Ricky Nelson Written by: Gene Pitney Title: Hello, Mary Lou