Here's A Classic
December 8- 6:00 pm and it's started to snow.
The first of the season and the wife and I took
our cocktails and sat by the window watching
the soft flakes drift down all over the area.
It was BEAUTIFUL!
December 9- We awoke to a big beautiful blanket
of crystal white snow covering the landscape.
What a fantastic sight! Every tree and shrub
covered by a beautiful mantle. I shoveled snow
for the first time in years and loved it. I
did both the driveway and sidewalks. Later a
snowplow came through and covered our sidewalk
with compacted snow from the street, so I shoveled
December 12- The sun has melted all our lovely
snow. Oh well, I'm sure we will get some more
before the lovely winter is through.
December 14- It snowed 8 inches last night and
the temperature dropped to 20 below zero. Shoveled
the driveway and sidewalks again and then the
snowplow came by and did it's trick again.
December 15- Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer
so that I can drive in the snow. Bought snow
tires for my wife's car.
December 16- Fell on my ass on the ice in the
driveway. All that was hurt were my feelings.
December 17- Still cold (below zero in the A.M.)
and the icy roads make for very tough driving.
December 20- Had another 14 inches of the white
shit last night. More shoveling in store for me
today. The goddamn snow plow came by twice!
December 22- We are assured of a white Christmas
because 13 more inches of that shit fell today
and with this freezing fucking weather it won't
melt until August. Got all dressed up to go out
and shovel (boots, jumpsuit, heavy jacket, scarf,
earmuffs, gloves, etc.) and then got the urge to
December 23- I was going to go ice fishing today
but the fucking worms froze and I didn't want the
fish to break their teeth on my fucking bait.
December 24- If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch
that drives that fucking plow, I'll drag him
through the snow by his balls. I think he hides
around the corner and waits for me to finish
shoveling and then comes down the street at 100
miles and hour throwing that shit all over what
used to be my lawn.
December 25- MERRY CHRISTMAS! They predict 20
more fucking inches of this white bullshit. I
wonder if they know just how many fucking shovels
full of snow 20 inches is??? Assholes!!! Fuck
Santa, he doesn't have to bust his balls shovelling
this shit. The snow plow driver came by and asked
for a donation- I rapped up side his fucking head
with the snow shovel.
December 26- Guess who got 28 plus more inches
last night? I must be going snow blind or getting
cabin fever because the wife is starting to look
real good to me!
December 27- Cocksucking toilet froze. If you go
outside, don't eat the brown snow!
December 28- I set fire to the fucking house,
now I want to see that white shit cling to the roof now!!