Proofreading is a dying art
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible! They put in a correction the next day.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No , really? Ya think?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing, lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------------------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
----------------------------------------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
----------------------------------------------------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
----------------------------------------------------------------
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
----------------------------------------------------------
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces BatteryCharge
He probably IS the battery charge!
----------------------------------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
-----------------------------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
-------------------------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
****************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
***************************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
*******************************************
And the winner is...
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
***************************************************
More editors that need to be fired!
*******************************************************
4-H Girls Win Prizes for Fat Calves
After Detour to California Shuttle Returns to Earth
Air Head Fired
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Big Ugly Woman Wins Beauty Pageant (Newspaper in town of Big Ugly, WV)
Blind Bishop Appointed to See
Body Search Reveals $4,000 in Crack (from the Jackson Citizen-Patriot, Michigan)
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy (from the Louisville Courier Journal)
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk at Noon
Deer Kill 17,328 (Damn it, who keeps selling guns to those deer?)
Disciples of Christ Name Interim Leader (from Los Angeles Times) (Apparently they got tired of waiting for Christ to return...)
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84. (They were paid for being drunk? I want that job!)
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax (First it's the deer, now it's the cows. Disarm those cows now!)
Eye Drops off Shelf
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors (from the Providence Journal)(They grow 'em bic in Providence.)
Include your Children When Baking Cookies
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
And, my personal favorite.........
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
*******************************************************
We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!
|
