Now that the big 911 show/lane contraversy (sp?) is brewing in that other post, how about we look forward to the next race; Stratford. There are some quality teams competing - Stratford Jr's, Riptide, Lane 1, Golden Plate, Jetstart, PDBC Elite, Hanalei and the Blades.

With all the experts on lane bias being right at the top of their game right now, how is Stratford (with all of its' lane problems) going to play out?

Depends on who Rob and RR draft from the usual suspects as well as some imported talent ie Philly and MAD. Also is it X or Elite that is racing? Obviously with Hanalei's performance at 911 they are right in the thick of things.

1 Hanalei - looked very strong at Ont Place
2 Lane 1 - all star's + US presence
3 PDBC Elite - Depending on how many Elite vs X Paddlers, if more X move up to 1st or 2nd
4 Jetstart - Lane 4 - kiss of death at Stratford

5 Golden Plate - Repeat A consolation winner
6 Riptide - Just not strong enough
7 Stratford Jr's - Lots of energy here
8 Blades - Experienced crew

It's going to be between Hanalei and X-Pads.
Those two are going to be top two, order depends on lanes.

We look forward to paddling with X in Stratford. They also paddle in Frenchmen's on our hometurf so it will be nice to see if we can make up the 0.2 seconds they beat us by in Stratford at the qualifier earlier this year. Good group of kids to push us old folks

Sorry last post meant to say the 0.2 seconds they beat us by in Sudbury not Stratford

Pickering is a mix of both teams. Regardless the Hanalia technique will be a big advantage in the extra shallow Stratford waters.

And to be honest they probably don't even need the added advantage. Gunna try leaving containers of Jello shots around there site mid afternoon in hopes they get tempted and go overboard prior to the finals.

Should be a blast no matter what.

Ok team note....someone from the team bring a cooler and save the Jello shots for after the final! Free alcool! We are game for that.

I will bring a cooler CPMM is providing beers!!

Apparently some of the infidels on Hanalai have dared to challenge Lane One to a Jello eating contest.

We are not afraid of you and your Jello. We are wise in the way of the Jello over here at the Lane One camp. I can honestly say that we spend more time planning the Jello than the racing.

PS. Rumors of the whole thing being staged by PDBC appear to be false and they are vehemently denying any involvement. PDBC says any recent taunts such as "Any self respecting team would have their Jello Eating contests right after lunch" and "Anything less than 50 proof is for children" did not come from their team and is purely coincidental.

Let the Mofos and Shockwavers push their ups. We will settle this like warriors on the field of Jello.

If this ends in a draw, we can go double or nothing at the chip truck. Lane 4 wants a boat race as well... They seem to want to do it in the beer tent however. You would think the water was shallow enough...

If a few more teams challenge us to anything we may not survive.

Ok who's giving away our technique secrets? Bad Hanalei members, bad...bad. Or was that the old man's sex technique?

Lane One, best watch out! The margin of victory will be even greater this time around, ya heard!

Lane four for us = Utter domination


word life.

I could swear he was speaking english. I just know it. Have no idea what it means, but ok. Best of luck with whatever that thing is that you are referring to there.

Lane One will not be defeated, we don't even know exactly who is showing up yet, but whether the battle is in the field of Jello or buzzed on the water... Rob is still a clueless weenie

I am suggesting that teams won't be at full strength so the top 8 will be:

1. Hanalei
2. Jet Start
3. Riptide
4. PDBC Elite Collective

5. Lane 1
6. Golden Plate
7. Chatham Raging Dragons
8. The Blades

who or what teams make up Lane 1?

PDBC Collective is the Xpad B crew

so how bad is lane four? i'm back in stratford for the first time in five years. i remember it was bad, but haven't they shortened the lane to compensate?

I hope it is a lot better then the one in Sudbury or the NACCC's as a lot of heats are going to come across together with the water so shallow. You may want a beach towel for the sand bar, just in case you want to take a break and sun yourself on it. Hope the festival atmosphere is going to be fun, because the fairness and quality of races will be crap with the water so low this year.

Better BRING MORE JELLO hahaa.

Lane one is made up of a mishmash of many teams. I think we were somewhere around 8-10 last year. Just a bunch of folks who have been doing this festival for years and years and as our own teams passed on it for one reason or another we just wanted to keep coming.

Leave your ego's at the door, don't sweat the lanes, bring lots of Jello and your dancing shoes for the band and let the games begin.

I predict I will be hurting and hungover on Sunday.

Thats the spirit....paddle hard and party hard....life is too short to worry about the lanes...and who wins....etc...etc. Stratford is for fun and any team who comes here with that in mind does have fun.

it looks like Lane One has accepted a formal Jello Eating challenge from Hanalai. Any other teams interested?

All you need to do is bring some electric Jello and a victim (I mean volunteer) from your team.

We were thinking jello heaped onto a plate, no hands, may the biggest sucker win.

For Lane One I nominate Ed. The Jello's the reason he comes in the first place so he is our natural selection.

Perhaps we can have a girls round, then a guys round and the winners face off...

I nominate Hedai from Lane 1 for the women's event. This way she pass out even EARLIER this year.

How about San (spelling?) from Hanalei for their side?

The master plan to get Hedia and Sann into a big bowl of Jello is finally coming together.

We could make it a fund raiser for both teams. Maybe never pay another paddle fee again.

Sann is a cheap drunk so that should take about one Jello shot

Who said anything about Jello shots....it's the WWF Ladies Jello Championship match I'm jacked about.

Look out Lane 1....for the main event, this calls for something very very special. Believe it or not, neither William (Shao-lin push up master) or Lee (beer can balancer extraordinaire) will do. For this very special occasion, Hanalei will unleash our own OYSTER BOY!! He loves alcohol in all forms...he's like the tasmanian devil with booze.....he will however be in serious need of a translator as the contest progresses.

Hey, maybe we should invite the X-pads to join? But then again, I think their still under age….oh well, more jello for the rest of us!

Good luck to all teams in Stratford

Great, all this talk of Jello shooters is distracting us from the real issue at hand: what sort of modified waterfowl are the Silvermasters going to threaten us with this year?

I don't like the sound of those turkey ducks one bit. No sir.

Silvers never had the swans in question...

man this took some time to find.

http://www.network54.com/Forum/thread?forumid=135730&messageid=998360787&lp=999811221


But it should show us completely innocent of these ludicrous allegations.

And while we do have a few members who have a special relationship with the turkey duck...I think our performance on Saturday will show that no fowl play has occured this year. This year( like all previous years) we will paddle and hit the beer tent. HARD.

One thing that is striking about 4 years ago is how many of us actually used our names or consistent nicknames. Oh how times have changed.

In any event, the Jello is made and curing as I type this. Fear thee all who tread into path of a Lane One'er and their Jello.

Would individual members from other teams be able to partake in the Jello orgy?

For the last few years the lanes have been adjusted to be as fair as possible. Last year lane 4 was not a disadvantage other than teams with the slowest times were seeded there for the semis and finals. In fact lane four did better than it should have given these parameters.

Our committee has discovered in Section 345 of the International Dragon Boat Rule Book under rule 55(f-6) that the use of jello is prohibited as a stimulant to assist teams during the actual festival itself.

In terms of the use of jello being ingested after the event,we are unsure of at this time. One of our lawyers is investigating the matter thoroughly and we should have an answer within the next 48 hours.

It appears as if the team which wins this event and is caught using the jello substance as a performance enhancer then the judges can designate another official winner of their choice. I know all the hard work that The Silvermasters do and how they are looked up to by the community so i wouldn't be surprised if they walked away with first place honours on Saturday.

It is unfortunate that the use of Jello as a stimulant is seen in such a harsh light. It would be a sad day if Rob and I were to have to pull flipper out of retirement and reinstitute the Black Swan with Laser headgear testing that we all agreed to abandon years ago.

Besides, I am pretty sure that no one plans on even smelling the ridiculously toxic Jello prior to the end of the days racing.

As for other teams (or individuals from other teams joining in) the more the merrier. You need to supply your own Jello however.

While I hesitate to give away my secret ingredient(s) I will say that a rough ratio that seems to work is. (And by work, I mean that people gag and complain about how strong it is on first taste, only to be seen licking the bottom of the container a few minutes later)

To make 2 liters of Jello = 8 cups Jello.
1) I used 5 Jello boxes (Each called for you to add a cup of boiling water and a cup of cold water... Ignore this silliness)
2) I added 3 cups of boiling water and stirred thoroughly
3) I then added about a cup and half of Ice to cool it down (you want enough ice to roughly equal 1 cup of water).
4) 3 cups of your favorite liquid lightning (I prefer using Vodka)
5) Let sit for a long time to gel. Warning making this Saturday morning or possible even Friday night may be too late. This stuff can take a while to set.

In the end you end up with about 8 cups from 10 cups worth of Jello mix. The reduced ratio helps it gel and confuses girls into thinking it maybe isn¡¦t quite as strong as it really is. ƒº Enjoy.

Cheers

I'm thinking of trying something new this year: citrus vodka, like Absolut Mandarin, with orange Jello.

I've also found that the best vessels for the Jello are those little paper ketchup-cups you get at Wendy's. (Just be sure to be discrete when skeefing them from Wendy's!)

Some people like those plastic pill-dispensing cups but you can turn the ketchup-cups inside out to make sure you get every last bit of Jello. (Plus, you won't cut the flap of skin under your tongue after your fifth or sixth one... but I digress.)

I used to package the jello in individual containers, but that was very time consuming and a huge pain for cleanup (they were reusable).

Now I make the Jello in big tubs and then bring an icecream scoop and a bunch of dixie cups. Works great.

For the contest I figure we will need a couple of plates since hands will obviously not be allowed.

I was thinking that Mango Rum with orange jello would make a pretty good one, especially if you take "Kevin et All" response and make it 2 cups of hot water and 4 cups of your favorite lightning Happy paddling nad Jello-ing this Saturday. By the way, I would not pay too much attention to Kevin's post about the rules. Everyone knows that the Silvermasters will do anything to try and get their hands on hardware.

Anyone with any confusion over what Stratford is all about just needs to see this thread with its 5 Jello posts for every racing post lol.

Good times, good fun.

Great idea... lets turn the Avon into the world's largest jello shooter! Is it too late to get a big sponsorship from Jello? Ah, just imagine racing your dragonboat in a big river of Jello then jumping off the boat at the end of the race and munching on some of that good stuff.

This race just keeps getting better and better..

"Everyone knows that the Silvermasters will do anything to try and get their hands on hardware."

Yep...including swiping unprotected trophies off picnic tables. Medals are a bit tougher to steal...especially enough for the whole team...

Actually, we got our hands on a set of medals in Woodstock this year that belonged to another team, BUT I did not get to keep them. I think someone (their caller) ratted me out. I was going to distribute them to the Silvermasters team even though we did not win them:-) We have never let that stop us in the past from claiming hardware as our own. After all possesion is 9/10ths of the law. So just as a warning to all you out-of-town teams...and local ones, hang on to your hardware, cause us SilverMasters are out to get some this weekend....any way we can...Maybe we could steal enough jello to get the winning team sloshed so we can just walk away with the trophy.

Stratford now gives out Trophy's instead of Medals. Easier for teams to protect one item than a bunch from the sneaky Silvermasters.

But the true questions remain? Can they eat Jello? Or is that all they eat now? Would this give them an unfair advantage in the contest? Only those in attendance will know.

So the order of events will be:

Some Dragon race thingy followed by
Jello eating contest
Beer boat races
Calves of Steel contest (Winner gets groped the most)
Dancing contest
Who can make it to that club who’s name escapes me after Molly Blooms contest
Who can remember anything after that contest.
Name the critter in your fleabag hotel contest
Who can eat the lumberjack breakfast the fastest at the breakfast place who's name I cannot remember either contest

Come to think of it, there seems to be a lot from last year that seems to be left to the imagination...

PS. To be honest, it sure looks that that Dragon Boat thing is taking up a vastly disproportionate amount of the day. Coincidence? I think not!

I am assuring everyone of a fun, safe day as my crew has been hired to assist in security procedures. They all have been trained in handling out of control jello freak addicts. We will be circulating incognito (with lime green jump suits) throughout the crowd with our K9 friend Schniffy looking for troublemakers. Beware.

P.S. Good luck Silvermasters

That schedule is pretty complete but you forgot to include a couple of events:

-The bare-foot race to the garbage can to throw out your gross paddling shoes contest
-The great steak cook-off contest
-The Shantastic pushup contest (just kidding, as if we could beat William!)

That Dragon race thingy is looking more and more un-necessary all the time!

Now we are talking. I think that the trophy should just be given to the SilverMasters. Forget the racing...and let's get to the real stuff that Stratford is known for.

Jello eating contest
Beer boat races
Calves of Steel contest (Winner gets groped the most)
Dancing contest
Who can make it to that club who�s name escapes me after Molly Blooms contest
Who can remember anything after that contest.
Name the critter in your fleabag hotel contest
Who can eat the lumberjack breakfast the fastest at the breakfast place who's name I cannot remember either contest

and throw in

-The bare-foot race to the garbage can to throw out your gross paddling shoes contest
-The great steak cook-off contest
-The Shantastic pushup contest (just kidding, as if we could beat William!)

PS. I hope everyone has a great time in Stratford, and to the winners, don't worry, the SIlverMasters will gaurd your trophy for you while the real contests are happening.

'Til jello-mania....can't wait

All the Jello resting comfortable getting "set" for the big event.

Cool! How did you get that avatar???

I would also like to know how to get an avatar!

[Only ~28 hours 'til Jello time!]

Stratford Juniors should easily win against old wash up teams competing in Stratford this weekend. Power to weight ratio wins every time. As far as I see, there is alot of teams out there with a lot of weight[excessive?] and very little power. GO JUNIORS GO

It's a Network54 option. If you upgrade to a Select Account (for the low cost of only $0.99/month), you get to attach an avatar to your account and it will appear above your user name when you are logged in.

The catch: it will show up in every message you post if you are logged in. Anonymous posters beware!

In Dragon race thingy news:

I just noticed that Lane One (lane 2) faces Hanalei (lane 3) in their first heat. Cool! The Silvermasters (lane 3) are facing the mysterious Lane 4 (lane 1, confused yet?) in their first heat.

Keep an eye on your stuff Lane 4! You can't trust those Silvermasters!

First practice with a full crew is set for 8:22 on Saturday morning...

The only sure bet with this crew is that we'll out weigh the Junior crews!

Apparently a rumour is out there that Stratford organizers have already engraved the Championship Cup with The Silvermasters name on it. It seems that Stratford has brought in FMG people to assist in the scam.

FMG get lots of free beer, confiscated jello goodies and their pick of Silvermaster women as their reward plus the opportunity to play their special Hawaii 50 song on the stage of The Stratford Shakespearean stage.

For enough free beer they can have last years trophy.

The party'ers will be outnumbering the paddlers like 5-1 at this crazy thing. Good news is that for the most part teams save it for the after racing party. Although it might not be a bad thing that if you tip you can literally walk to shore.

We also noticed that Hanalai was in our fist heat. If you feel a big jerk that's nothing to be concerned about. For sure it isn't the invisible Wonder Woman Lasso with retrofitted grappling hook attachment. If you hear a yell followed by a big splash and your boat veering off, then for sure that also doesn’t mean we missed and harpooned your cox by accident.

Some of those Geese are cloaked.

If by chance all of these things that won’t ever happen fail then the Jello eating contest will be moved up 4 hours and we swap Hanalai’s with ours while they aren’t looking.

Cheers

PS. The Silvermasters have tried to put the fix in previously and failed. Last time they started celebrating too early, and accidentally paid the porta-potty guy $400 for an empty toilet roll a bunch of pucks and a seat.

PPS. Little known fact. The party goes so long here that they actually have lights in the porta-potties in the beer tent. No I swear I saw it with my own eyes. The Wheel, sliced bread and now this.

1. Hanalei
2. PDBC
3. Lane One

Ok not sure what fire got lit under Hanalei's behind lately but they smoked all day today. They were the only team under 2:20 all day, then in the A final won in big open water almost two boat lengths ahead of all the other crews in the final. They posted a 2:11 time which is the fastest time ever posted in Stratford's race history so far. Could not believe how far ahead they were so early in the race with PDBC finshing second almost a full 8 seconds later and Lane 1 rounding third. Pretty crazy and fun to watch. They looked really smooth and clean on the water. Congrats Hanalei you were great fun to watch.

That was an incredible spanking in A division, and wow was it ever incredible to watch. Hanalei clearly showed superior racing and were in fine form. Smoking the competition at the A final level shows everyone there's still a lot to work on to step up to the elite level. Thanks and congrats Hanalei, what a show.

"Ok not sure what fire got lit under Hanalei's behind lately but they smoked all day today. They were the only team under 2:20 all day..."

Actually there were a few teams that did have a sub 2:20 heading into the final. Lane 1 had posted a 2:18 in their qualifier and Pickering had the fastest qualifying time of 2:15.

You are right though, Hanalei raced well all day and pulled off an incredible final. 2:11 is amazing in the unforgiving Stratford race course.

What a great day of racing. The weather was perfect, lots of spectators out to watch and cheer on their local teams. Kudos to the organizers for a fun event.

crap water, bias lanes, slow racing course, weather perfect?(wouldn't call it horrible, but hardly perfect) and is the only race to be regarded as merely fun. Maybe people can regard other festivals as that, fun, and so when something isn't perfect it isn't slammed. That goes for you to Kevin.

Regardless of what went down on the water during the A Final (congrats Hanalei!) we all know what happened afterwords. After attempting the Fire Cherry's of Death ourselves, Lane One enjoyed watching Hanalei try them. Clearly we were victorious in the "stomachs of iron" contest!

Seriously, Hanalei you guys were great sports and we enjoyed facing off against you throughout the day.

And thanks to the other teams who supplied us with yummy jello shots!

Cheers to you all!

Just wanted to thank the Stratford organizers and all the teams for what was a tough and enjoyable day of racing. Man the racing was tight and tough with everyone side by side dragging each other down the course. Hurt like Hell. Wanted to thank Lane 1 for all the alcool and those deadly cherries Ed from NY soaked in some form of Alcohol which he would not divulge! After about ten of them I think I got a handle on them (Or was it they got a handle on me, can't remember). We had a great time with everyone.

Stratford sounds like a fun event. maybe we'll do it next year.

It's always nice to finish the season with a fun event & not care about lanes, sand banks or who beat who, no politics (or maybe it's because Mayfair wasn't there!)

Festivals such as Stratford should be an example to the organizers of:

GWN: as nice as it is, try to make the festival more fun. but in their defence, GWN seem to improve year after year so keep up the good work (as long as you don't raise those fees)

Island (TCBA): too expensive- unfair lanes - unfriendly officials - money grab, money grab , money grab - expensive to get to after you pay for parking and the ferry. you guys charge those vendors an arm & a leg so the food becomes too expensive to buy too . Island was the worst festival of 2005. TCBA, you guys are on your way out if you don't fix things for better. my team is not coming back.

Montreal: find a better location.

Philly: ..... (enough said)

Sudbury & Waterloo: get on the with technology & get rid of those stop watches.

see everyone in Montreal or so long till next season.