"Bah!!"

As Shantastic stood at the top of the bleachers on Sunday afternoon, surveying all that was His, He was not pleased. "What sort of a...setting is this?" he said, gesturing to the podium, portable stage, and bleachers.

"Is this supposed to be some kind of a joke?" He turned angrily at me, the knuckles on His hands white from the strain of barely-held self-control."Where was the designated area that is befitting for My event?"

"My lord, there must be a mistake! I'm sure a solution will be found!" Thinking quickly, I blurted out, "I know! There is still one more regatta, at Stratford, on September 16. Both the MOFOs and Hanalei will be there!"

Shantastic ruminated over this for a moment, and His eyes lit up. "That will be barely adequate for my needs. Know this though, do not fail me again lest I smite you."

He then descended from the bleachers to His legions of adoring fans to sign a few autographs, including one young paddler who gushed out that he started dragon boat because he saw Shantastic on a dragon boat poster once and thought, "That dude is huge!"

As He left for His chariot, He turned back to this cowering personage and said, "Know that I am still displeased with you, and I must work off my anger tonight."

By coincidence, a shockwave registering 3.4 on the Richter scale was felt later that night somewhere in the Indian Ocean, on the exact other side of the world.

As a side note, that same young paddler was seen later that night celebrating with his team. He was so ecstatic about actually meeting Shantastic that he downed an entire mug of tequila. Being totally inebriated, he then approached various members of his team asking them if they had ever played "the choking game".

Damn Mofos, one lousy A division finish at GWN and you're acting up again! j/k - good work over the weekend, took us all by surprise

wtf?

Shantastic isn't on the Mofo team.

Haven't you gotten your fill of attention yet Shockwave?

Unfortunately our 2005 pushup champion can't make it to Stratford but out of respect for the importance of the annual Shantastic push up challenge I will step up to defend the title on my team mate's behalf. Now, I know Shantastic can do pushups for hours and I don't have all day so I'd lake to request this year we hold the Shantastic one armed pushup challenge.

If I lose I will buy a round of drinks for Shockwave at the Mofo's end of season party (probably some time next month). If I win I will be secure in the knowledge that the Mofos are once again the best pushers in a sport of pulling.

-Matt

Isn't Matt from the Mofos like 6'6" or something? Can he even do a pushup?

One-arm push-up contest? Now thats impressive. Now thats something I would pay to see.

No, I think he's closer to 5'18".

If Shantastic is as short as rumour has it won't he essentially be doing a one-arm situp?

Matt, you do realize that there are 40 people on Shockwave, right? DBC 1 and DBC 2.

My vote is 15-14 one-arm pushups in favour of Matt.

Why does the fact that there are 40 people even matter here?

How many of those 40 will actually show up at the Mofo year end party to get their free drinks, if Shantastic wins?

Depends on cover. If its free, why pass up on free drinks?

Depends on cover. If its free, why pass up on free drinks?

FREE DRINKS + MOFO GIRLS....HOW COULD THE SHOCKWAVE GUYS PASS ON THAT

Because they're gay

Well, as an entire team, I don't think they represent the gay community. I believe a team would be more vocal about something like that.

The Shantastic dance-off. Look out Stratford!

Now that I'd pay to see!

Bwa ha ha ha ha!

That's a pretty good animated gif!

I like this one too.