(Fade in to a theater that has the title above on it, this looks like the opening to the typical H! theme. Suddenly, the Kid Chorus appears in thier historical uniforms...)
KC: It's called the Histeria-
Fanfic Awardias!
The World Premierias!
(QC to Loud and Fetch in Uncle Sam outfits)
Loud & Fetch: We dare-ia to read the awardia! (QC to F. Time smiling with a world map, the KC enters singing)
It'll be loved anywhere-ia! Because it's the Histeria fanfic awardias!
(QC to BFB-godzilla stomping through Tokyo)
KC: Terror or comedy-ia, we got it all-ia!
(QC to B.B. kissing a photo of Charity, then realizing he's on camera)
KC: Here's the local loon B.B.,
(QC to Robert waving happily, a city behind him is in shambles)
KC: Robert with his melo-dramedy,
(QC to Nftnat with a large book called "TOO MUCH HISTORY" reading it calmly, other board members looking on shocked)
KC: And Nftnat the historian, it's all here!
(QC to R6 hugging a Lydia with a defeated look)
KC: R6 with his Lydia,
(QC now to JusSonic looking haughty with a peice of paper, various stars are signing it)
KC: JusSonic gets all the stars for deal-ias!
(QC to Mike with Goku)
KC: Mike and his pals of DragonBall-Zia! We got it allllll!!!
(QC to LB1985 and Lucky Bob, LB1985 scatching his head as he looks at L. Bob)
KC: LuckyBob1985, and even Pokejedservo and Norung!
(QC to Pokejed with other H! chars doing the Time Warp, then QC to Norung at a computer typing stuff up, looking like he needs coffee-bad)
KC: (Now in the inside of the theater) We got it aaalll, it's the Histeria-
-fanfic awardias!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
(MAJOR clapping is heard, the KC then comes in waving onto the stage. We see now that most of the main H! cast is there as well. F. Time then comes up to the podium. Everyone is wearing nice clothes, naturally.)
F. Time: That was the Kid Chorus! And I know they appreciate the show of hands! But really, folks, this is a big show we have tonight, for special reasons.
Over the years we've had many fanfics written about us. Some have given us new life when it comes to comedy, some have allowed us to find romance-
(QC to various couples made over the years looking at each other dreamily)
F. Time: -we've had drama as well. (audience and the H! cast look bored at this point from the long speech) And crossovers! Whew! We had a lot of-
(Suddenly, WOW comes up and smacks F. Time away.)
WOW: Yeah, yeah, we know what everyone's did over the years, blah-blah-blah, yackity smackity. (to audience) Now how many of ya want to get to the POINT?!
(much cheering is heard)
WOW: Yeah, me too! (F. Time, who has gotten up, sticks his tounge out at WOW) This show was made primarily to honor everyone who wrote a fanfic. That said, let's get to the awards. Our first awards go to the best series in Histeria fanfiction. There were a lot of choices here. But the ones that recieved votes were....(looks at paper) STRANGE COINCEDENCES by Bourgeois Buffoon, and the NOT HAPPY series by Norung Paran! They both tied for first!
(to clapping, Norung and B.B. walk up. Well, Norung walks up, B.B. runs up excitedly)
WOW: Here. (hands over a gold statue of BFB to each. BFB in the statue looks like an oscar, and the heading says BEST SERIES)
Norung: (recieving statue) Why, thank you. (to microphone) You know, it was a-
(suddenly, B.B. pushes Norung away. He looks like a male version of Pepper at this point) WOW! I NEVER won anything like this before! THANK YOU! I'm loved! I'm loved! I'm-
(WOW then grabs Norung's award and uses it to smack B.B. with it)
B.B.: OW! (rubs head) Thanks...I needed that. Uh, thanks to all who liked my fics, I really just wanted to write up a story when I thought up the first in the series. Never knew it'd become what it is. (pointing to the podium) Here, Norung. Sorry about the push.
Norung: Whatever...thanks to all who voted for me. It's an honor. We all know if there were more votes, I woulda won.
B.B.: HEY!
Norung: As I said....
B.B.: (NOW comphrending this insult) HEY!!
WOW:(amid laighter) Yeah, yeah, that's nice. We all know how Strange Coincedences won because of all the stuff it revealed-(looks at B.B. angerly) and Not Happy won because of its, uh, "telling it as it is" stuff, I suppose. That and the guest stars.
(to the winners) Now you two can go, though if you need company you can call me.
(Looking at her eerily, Norung and B.B. get back down to thier seats)
(Suddenly, Aka comes up to the podium.)
Aka: Thanks, hon. I'll take it from here!
WOW: Sigh....upstaged by a little girl. Eh, I need to sit down anyway, I think my uh, "problem" may be acting up again.
Everyone Else: EEW!
...
Part One is done! Also, I hope no one minds how I portrayed 'em in the song...
NEXT WRITER: Robert.
NEXT AWARD: The Best Drama.
WINNER: Another 24 Hours, then The Big Game, then All That Glitters.
BTW, I WILL accept votes for best fanfic UNTILL they must be written about. If they have to few votes, I will annouce it scrapped. Go in the order of the results I posted, please...
...this thing will be delayed till Monday since this would be a long part and you know I can't write anything long on this computer. Monday afternoon I can post the part, but you can still go on if you want until then.
Aka: All right, now let's get one disturbing thing out of our minds forever by thinking of some other spooky things, like the winners for Best Drama.{Spooky music plays as the audience shudders}Bob Dougherty, thanks for that little music piece. Now, let's start this by honoring the other Philly resident around here, the Bronze Medal winner, R6 for his debut story, All That Glitters!
{R6 comes up and receivers an award, much like the one we saw earlier, but bronze covered and it says "Third Best Drama" He starts to speak after the audience stops appluading}
R6: Ah, that wonderful first time of mine is honored by all you good people. The story that first gave me the purpose and muse of my life, it was my first time with her as well and I can assure you she wasn't the gentle one.
Lydia:{Calling out from the audience}Oh come on, it's bad enough you're using the wrong time and place to say this stuff, at least don't start lying now!
R6: Come on, you should have fond memories of that time. You finally found out the truth about your lying ex finacee.
Lydia: True.
R6: And it proved that your co-stars did care about you by going to the past to discover said truth.
Aka: That, and it proved how much we loved having the studio floors dry.
Lydia: Well I guess that counts for something.
R6: And come on, you have to admit I've nearly brokrn down your Berlin Wall of reisistance, it's just one crisis away fromc oming down hard, am I right?
Lydia:{Harsh whisper}Please stop now, I have an image to maintain and I'm not ready to abandon it yet.
R6: Okay fine, at least now I still have a goal! Thank you all, and GO PHILS!{He leaves}
Aka: Well, that at least gave us a warning for the horrors to come. Speaking of horrors, the two winners here gave us a lot of them. Tying for first is B.B's The Big Game which he's lucky was made before I fell for one of it's competitiors, and Bob Dougherty's fic which we're just now starting to think about forgiving him for, Another 24 Hours!
{B.B and Robert come up on stage and accept two gold awards like the ones seen earlier}
B.B: I'm back everyone, miss me and my award winning presence?!
Robert: Hold on, does anyone else think no two more different stories are being honored now. I know this is for drama, but my story created romance, and his story nearly destroyed them, am I right?
B.B: At least I didn't nearly destroy Washington D.C while I was at least, somehting which in these dark times is more than ever very very inappropriate.{The audience murmers in an angry tone at realizing this}
Robert: Well, if that remark was made so you could speak first, you did it, go on.
B.B: If you insist. I'd like to thank me for writing this, the crew for constructing the obstacles, Froggo for that delightful final confrontation scene, and of course, my inspiration....um, y'all might want to get confortable now.
Aka:{Sitting on a chair}What do you think I've been doing for the last 30 seconds?
B.B: All right then, I'd especially like to thank the beautiful, wonderful, divine, kind, sweet, delightful, sincere, brave, stunning...
{5 minutes them pass by as we cut to the end of B.B's speech}
B.B:....exciting, and sexy Charity Bazaar! Thank you my love!{He takes a deep breath and the audience applauds mainly because the speech is finally over}
Loud:{Calling out form the audience too}WELL AT LEAST THAT DESCRIPITION OF HER IS SOMETHING WE CAN AGREE ON!{Next to him, Charity blushes more than usual}
B.B: Yes, on that, and a little comment you made a while back about Miss Info's, shall we say...
Robert:{Interrupting}No we shant, because it's my turn! Now, I'd like to thank everyone involved, and point out that though this whole thing nearly killed you, it was a wonderful mix of revenge, guilt, redemption, friendship, and love, and made people stop thinking you were just annoying, one note characters. Plus it was the inspiration for at least 30% of the stories nominated tonight, now if that's not something to be proud of, I don't know what is!{The audience applauds wildly}
B.B: Yeah, but did you really have to destroy the symbol of our fragile democracy yo help prove that? Remember that finale, which was about 5'th or 6'th one in that flick, huh?
Man in the audience: Hey, that's right, and that speech he made was quite melodramatic and sappy too! He's a shameless, violent manipulator of emotions, isn't he?
{The audience members other than the H! characters stand up and start to yell. Robert is ready to flee in terror until Miss Info comes out in her sparkly red dress,a sight that pretty much stops the people from yelling}
Miss Info: Now come on, we had enough violence and stuff from that other fan award show last year, let's not stoop down to that level, k?
Robert:{Whispering}Thank you, I owe you big time.
Miss Info: Writing me as well as you did was thanks enough.
Robert: And this award helps too. Thanks for the honor, distracted chavinests!{Looks at a gaping B.B}Come on fellow award winner, even though seeing you like this is quite delightful, we have to go now and you have an idol of yours to explain stuff too.{He drags B.B off the stage}
Aka:{To Miss Info}Well, the very reason they probably gave you the lightest catagory to present really helped save our sets just now. Now go on and do just that while I get back to the star of one of the award winning fics.{She leaves}
NEXT WRITER: R6, though with his work schedule this could take a while.
NEXT CATAGORY: Best Comedy
GOLD, SILVER, AND BRONZE WINNERS: Pinky, H!, and the Brain, Histeria Night Live, SC- Romance
Miss Info: Alright, now what was I supposed to do next... dance the dance of the seven veils? Oh, Bourgeois, put that card down!
(QC to BB in the audience)
BB: Who, me?
(Next to BB, Charity has a bit of an angry glare in her eyes. QC back to stage)
Miss Info: Ah, yes! The awards for best comedy! I'd almost forgotten! You know, it seems quite a few of the stories that graced the EH board fell into this category in particular, especially most of what should officially belong under "Romance" or "Crossover". But the only true comedies are those that let it all out, the stories that hold nothing back, not for love, war, or adventure! These tales are completely whacked-out and mindless... kinda like our network president!
(Much uproarious laughter from the audience, except Sammy Melman, who has an insulted look on his face)
Miss Info: Anyhow, here to present this award with me are none other than two of the smallest communists the world has ever seen... Pinky and the Brain!
(The lab mice approach the podium while their theme plays)
Brain: Thank you, Miss Information (To audience) How befitting a name, wouldn't you say so?
(Laughter from audience)
Pinky: ZORT!!! We're here tonight to present the best comedy award!
Brain: Something tells me this was a setup.
Miss Info: Whatever gave you that idea?
Brain: Well for starters, the winner of the bronze statue for third place in this category... "Strange Coincidences - Romance" by Bourgeois Buffoon and JusSonic!
(Amid much applause and many outstretched hands, JusSonic makes his way to the stage to accept his trophy. Seconds later, BB lterally flies out of the audience and crashlands on the stage... lucky for him, he landed on his feet. BB grabs a bronze trophy much like the others seen, but with a THIRD BEST COMEDY heading. Again, BB takes the mic first)
BB: Thank you, thank you! And yes, Charity Bazaar did kick my *** all the way up here, so let that be a lesson to anyone with two fish on the line! (Audience laughs wildly) Seriously, though, I can imagine how loved I feel right now. It's like something ou of a dream I once had about me marrying a certain someone from Washington DC... I think we all know of whom I speak, yes?
(Audience agrees. in the audience, we see Charity blushing like never before)
Charity: BB, stop! I'm gonna turn blue if you keep it up!
JS: Yes, stop now. It is my turn. Thank you all for voting on this, and thanks to the props department for that mallet... you know what I'm talkin' about. Anyways, it means a lot, more so than my crusade against all Loud-bashers, so (Notices quite a few audience members brandishing pitchforks, torches and spears (oh my!)) Eh, never mind the last part... Thank you all, and keep reading. HISTERIA FOREVER!!
BB: Yeah, seeya! I've got to send a marriage proposal to someone in Baltimore, Maryland.
(QC to Charity's cousin in the seat net to BBs, she suddenly blushes a deep red. Back to stage, BB and JusSonic leave)
Pinky: NARF! The next award is the silver, and it goes over to... "Histeria! Night Live" by Robert "Bob" Dougherty!! POIT!!
(Amid half applause, half booing, Robert returns to the stage to take his BFB silver statue with the "SECOND BEST COMEDY" heading)
Robert: Muchas Gracias, los fanos! Whatever THAT means, I have no idea, but thanks for voting for me!! And to think, I got the first silver award tonight!! And thank you, araine Newman for lending you talents, both to SNL, and to the voice of this sexy lady right next to me.
(Miss Info blushes)
Miss Info: Ah, stop! You're too much!
Robert: So, what are YOU doing after the show?
(Audience ooohs)
Miss Info: Now you know I'm already seeing Smartypants.
Robert: D'oh!
Miss Info: No, Mike's not here right now.
(Audience laughs)
Robert: Well, what about your sister... False Information, was it?
Miss Info: Unfortunately, no, that IS what her name is.
(QC to another Miss Info clone, this one's a shade darker with reddish hair)
False Info: Well, at least MY name's not Melissa...
(QC to stage)
Miss Info: OOOOOOOH!!! Why you little...
(QC to False Info)
False Info: Anyways, Robert, I AM single... available, too... (Seductively blows him a kiss)
(QC to stage, audience is oooohing like mad)
Robert: Gotta go! (Dashes off, seconds later, we hear kissing sounds in the audience)
Brain: How repugnant...
Pinky: It makes me wish my girlfriend was here right now...
Brain: Pinky. YOU are a mouse, THAT is a horse.
Pinky: Now, don't start that again, Brain. Anyway, so, Miss Information... NARF!!! What fanfic won the gold for this category?
Miss Info: None other than... "Pinky, Histeria! and the Brain", written by Danielle B!
Pinky: Poit. Uh, is she related to Bourgeois B?
Brain: Good lord I hope not...
(QC to BB in audience)
BB: Watch it, rodent!
(QC to stage)
Brain: Anyways, Danielle couldn't be here tonight, so we shall accept this award...
Pinky: Uh, Brain...
Brain: Not now, Pinky. It's a sad thing, really, she's such a great writer, but she couldn't make it, so WE shall accept the award for her.
Pinky: But Brain, she DID make it... She's right behind us...
Brain: What? Oh drat.
Danielle: Whatever. What was all this about the place being overrun by rattlesnakes and puff adders?
Brain: Uh, well you see...
Danielle: OUT!!!
Brain: Come Pinky. It is time for us to plan for tomorrow night.
Pinky: Are we gonna try to take over the world again, or go after Firnobulax?
Brain: Neither. I hear MTV is doing another awards show soon, and I must learn who's not showing up.
(Mice leave)
Danielle: Anyways, it means a lot to me to win this (Holds up the gold BFB statue). I never thought I would, so I don't have a speech ready
(QC to Thomas Jefferson in the audience)
TJ: I can fill in for that!
Loud: LOOK OUT EVERYONE!!! HE'S GONNA MAKE A SPEECH!!!
(Audience screams)
R6: Relax, people. He can't make a speech now.
Loud: Why not?
(R6 goes over to TJ and breaks a violin over his head)
(Audience cheers, R6 sits down, QC to stage)
Danielle: Thank you, strange Philly person, for... Say, isn't that Lydia Karaoke he's next to? Anyway, all I can say is thank you, I love all of you, and Bourgeois, I never thought YOU of all people would be in like flint with the Bazaar ladies. Later folks!
(Danielle and Miss Info leave, QC to Lydia Karaoke and R6 in the audience... kissing, what else? Lydia notices that they're on)
Lydia: Oh, $@%#!! R6, we're on!
R6: Oops...
Lydia: Anyway, thanks for stopping that speech. Normally I'm against violins on Histeria!
(Rimshot from Big Fat Baby)
R6: But in this case, we'll make an exception, and speaking of exceptions, except for tonight, this lovely but secretive couple would never bother with this other semi-secret couple!
Lydia: How about a hand for our next presenters, Nostradamus, Joan of Arc...
R6: Cho-Cho and Lucky Bob! HI-YO!!!
(The presenters come to the stage, Nostra and Joan in their usual clothes, Cho in a sparkling purple dress, and LB in a toga.)
That's my bit!
NEXT WRITER: Nftnat
NEXT AWARD: Best Fanepisode
Winners: SILVER - "History of Delaware" (BB), GOLD - "Episode #53 - Psychology Yesterday and Today" (DR. BELCH)
Just be sure to follow the rules, and you're gold!
SEND IN YOUR VOTES FOR BEST FANFIC PLEASE! We got nominees now, now all we need is to know WHICH of those are the best...otherwise I declare Best Fanfic catagory SCRAPPED!
...I'd pay you back by helping with Lydia, but like I said, it appears you've nearly broken the wall with her.
Hey, when you finally finish Super H! Bros, will your schedule allow you write any more fics anytime soon? Let us hope so, I could help with ideas if you're stumped.
The nominees{not including ones that may have been just added}
September 25 2001, 10:20 AM
The Big Game
The Toasty H! Pic Show!
All that Glitters
Another 24 Hours{so yes JusSonic, you may vote for the fic you fear so much}
Pepper Tot
For the Love of H!
And as said in the post's title, I think some more things might have been added recently, I'm not sure.
1 vote for TOASTY H! PIC SHOW
1 vote for ANOTHER 24 HOURS
1 Vote taken away from THE BIG GAME
No more votes may be switched, period. E-MAIL ME YOUR VOTES FOR BEST FANFIC!
Mike, your part may have you write whatever you want to write in (as long as the award is given ), but I cannot garuentee that part will be "Best Fanfic"...
To make easier for me I will make a Special award, Histeria! Fan Fiction Hall of Fame. For the 24 series from Robert and JusSonic. I already finish write it and after Nfnat I will post it.
If you went before him, the only thing he'd have to change is the presenter, since you're creating a new award, this isn't affecting the award he has to present, Best Fan Episode. All he'd have to do is write new stuff for whatever presenter you have coming on at the end. But I think you should give him a day or two so you don't seem impolite, hey, maybe he'll post a new part pretty soon, and if you do it at about the same time we'd have some editing to do. My advice is if he doesn't do it today, you can post your stuff tomorrow. And again, I'd like to see what kind of Hall of Fame you have in mind for me and JusSonic's stuff.
What about the famous stories from other people such as B.B's Strange Coincidences and my Outtakes & "The Toasty Histeria Picture Show". And not to forgot Norung's "Not Happy" shows. Could they be in this hall of fame you guys are talking about too? Or am I just missing the point and making an absolute moron out of myself?
Though my other questions is when do I get to become the host of a show? I mean sure I haven't done any Histeria fanfiction in a long while. But I hope you guys don't think I am too rusty on it, right? (Maybe I should work hard on fanfic writing later this year. I really don't want to lose it now.)
....I have reviewed these things, and I must say this:
NFTNAT
MIKE
POKEJEDSERVO
That's the order to write in. Also, Mike, I realize that the Hall of Fame really may not fit in well with the story...so post it after this thing is done; you still have a part to write in THIS story though. You'll have to write what pops up for you...in other words, whatever catagory is next, you'll write it up!
1 VOTE ADDED FOR NOT HAPPY.
So now the count...
1 vote for Not Happy
1 for Another 24 Hours
1 for The Toasty H! Pic Show
...
Send in your votes for best fanfics! See the results page for nominees...
As soon as this group of presenters hits the stage, Nostradamus takes charge.
Nostradamus: Okkay! Shut up! Now I have had much experiences hosting these award show giving away thingies Shut Up! , so if the rest of you will follow my lead Shut up!, & not say a lot of words, it will be
Joan: Oh puh-leeze! Why don't you take your own advice for once, Nosty?
Nostradamus (whispering): Did not I ask you not to be calling me that in public?
Joan: Whatever. The next award as I understand is for the best Fan Episode, okkay. Maybe in the like future, we'll like have some part in fan episodes, but for now...
Cho-Cho (to Lucky Bob): Uh-oh. She shouldn't have said "future" around him.
Lucky Bob: You are correct, oh wise one.
Nostradamus: The future? Why didn't you speak of so & so earlier? Shut up! Why I can predictiate such things in our futures that...
Cho-Cho (pulling on Nosty's robe): Hey mistah! Wanna buy...
Nostradamus: No, forgetting about it already & I mean it!
audience: Consider it forgotten!
Nostradamus: Uh, yes, whatever, Shut up! okkay? I am not wanting to do anything having to be doing with you crazy crop of kookie in the kopf cacaphonous kidses.
Cho-Cho: Betcha can't say that three times fast.
Nostradamus: Crazy crop of kookie in the kopf cacaphonous kidses, crazy crop of kookie in the kopf cacaphonous kidses, crazy cop of koopie in the krof caphocapho-- shoot!
Cho-Cho: You lose.
Lucky Bob: Hi-yo!
Cho-Cho: One franc, please.
Nostradamus: Now listening to me again little girly, & your lucky-looking friend, I will say it one more time, forget about it & I mean it!
audience: Consider it forgotten!
Joan: Well, I'll give you some franks. Here.
And she hands them a package of hot dogs.
Cho-Cho: Okkay. Got any matches?
Joan: Like, what would you do with matches?
Cho-Cho: Roast hot dogs over fire.
Lucky Bob: Yes, now.
Joan: Do you like know who I am, how I like feel about any kind of fire?
Molly Pitcher (popping in suddenly): You look like you could use a glass of clean pure wet thirst-quenching water.
Suddenly things get even more crazy as a familiar tune fills the air & three very familiar puppy-faced kids run on to the stage. They stop in front of Nostradamus.
Yakko: Eehhhh, pardon me, Mr. Underbite, but can you tell us if in the future we'll find out why hot dogs come in packages of 10 & buns come in packages of eight? (points to package of hot dogs)
Before he can get an answer, Yakko & his brother Wakko notice Joan.
Y&W: Hello, French soldier nurse! (jump into her arms)
Joan: Like, gag me.
Yakko: If you insist. Wakko?
Wakko then pulls out his trademark gag bag. As he goes through it, tossing out the occasional items (all of which Froggo has @ one time or another asked for), Dot notices how Nostradamus & Lucky Bob are dressed.
Dot: Why are all the guys wearing dresses?
Lucky Bob: It's a toga.
Dot: Do tell.
Lucky Bob: I like togas.
Joan: Hey, if I can wear pants, they can wear, like, whatever.
Lucky Bob: Pull my finger.
Dot: I think he's talking to you.
Joan: Like, no way.
Suddenly, a phone rings.
Joan: Like, where's that coming from?
Yakko: Wakko, answer your phone.
Wakko: Yay, I finally get to get it!
And he does, as the phone happens to be the next item he finds in his gag bag.
Wakko: Hello? -- Yes. -- Okkay, here he is. (hands it to Nostradamus) It's for you. I think it's the Brain.
Nostradamus: The Brain? (takes the phone) Hello?
We go to a split-screen, seeing the Brain on the other side, & he's beyond the Charity Bazaar level of Not Happy.
Brain: You pompous charlatan! Need I remind you that you were present in that UKE Awards show for only one award, & that you contributed very little to the presentation if you contributed anything @ all. And... One moment; I have another call. Hello? -- Oh, hello Mr. Romey. -- What? -- Well, that's not my fault. -- Yes, I know you've been trying to get Pinky together with Billie, but not everyone has to agree with you on that...
While Brain is on the phone with the toonzone author, we go back to the stage where Joan is trying to restore some order. Good luck.
Joan: What are you kids like doing here anyway?
Yakko: Well, we were liking to like liking. Or we were returning the favor for you Histerians showing up @ the Harleys.
Joan: We were invited!
Dot: Oh, & we weren't?
As the scene degenerates by the second, we cut to a computer in front of which is the guy writing this part, me.
Nftnat: Hello, everyone. It looks like they're going to be a while, so I guess I'll tell you who won. Coming in second with one vote was The History of Delaware by Bourgeois Buffoon. He's given me license to make up something for him to say, so here, against my better judgment, it is.
Cut back to the stage, where B.B. is now approaching the scene of the crime. By now the crowd has grown, including the Road Rovers (hey, I like Road Rovers, okkay?), Freakazoid (well, with this sort of insanity, why not?) various Tiny Toons (bringing a requested plot hole in an attempt to suck up the extraneous characters), even the K Beast (trying once more to get Brain for once more using the word "repugnant".
B.B.: If you don't mind, I'll take care of this first.
He then whistles, & various invading factions from the History of Delaware (the British, the Dutch, the dancing Swedes) plow throught the stage, taking various groups with them. Cue back to me.
Nftnat: Nice work, B.B. Let me help finish the job with the only invaders you didn't mention, the DuPonts.
Cue to a row of cannons, filled with DuPont-produced gunpowder. After they fire the stage is finally clear.
Nftnat: Okkay, B.B. It's safe now.
B.B.: You sure?
Nftnat: If I see anyone else, I'll have 'em fire again.
B.B.: But you might hit me.
Nftnat: Well, we take chances in life, don't we? Eh, I won't fire. You're safe, believe me.
B.B.: Okkay. All of that & my fanfic only got one vote, can you believe it? Anyway, thanks to the one person who voted for it. Now if you'll excuse me I have a Bazaar decision to make.
Nftnat: I'm pulling for the cousin too.
B.B.: I heard that.
He leaves the stage as I give the name of the winner, Dr. BELCH's Episode #53. The two pass each other.
BELCH: So you were gonna fill in for me?
B.B.: Only in the historical stuff. PJS was gonna do the perverted stuff & Nftnat was gonna handle the politics. He said it'd take the three of us to handle the job.
BELCH: He's got some sense; I'll give him that.
So saying, Belchie then takes what's left of the stage. As @ last report he was working on a speech --- I think --- I'll pause here so he can fill in what he'd like to say. Okkayk, Belchie, you're on!
After BELCH's speech, if we follow Mike's arrival and the order of authors who volunteered, here is a list of what people will present what awards in order.
Mike- Best Crossover
JusSonic- Best Romance{This should be easy for him to do}
Pokejedservo- Best CotW
B.B- Best Poll Awards
Me- Best Author
R6- Best Fanfic, if enough votes are gotten
Mike- the Hall of Fame
So to the best of my knowledge this should be the order of things from now on unless we have even more last minute changes.
[Applause. DR. BELCH, dressed formally in a tuxedo but wearing his trademark button cap and brown boots, steps up to the podium.]
DR. BELCH: This is some dang show. I haven't seen a slobberknocker like that since my days in the ASU caf, when three good ol' boys got to tussling over the last slab of taco pie.
[Laughter.]
DR. BELCH [imitating NOSTRADAMUS]: Okay! Thank you and shut up! I have predictionated many many things in my career as a mentalator. I predictionated the impeachment of former President Bill Clinton two years early! I predictionated Louis Farrakhan would be the new Hitler, and two years later was the Million-Man March! And, I predicted that "Strangers With Candy" would win two Emmy nominations for Comedy Central! [pauses] Okay, so I really frigged up on that one there. Whoa howdy.
NOSTRADAMUS [uncertain, slightly offended]: Hey, wait, now--I don't talk like that there with the high voice and the whining through the nose and the what have you. Do I? [defeated] I always thought I sounded like the Frenchman's Barry White.
JOAN: Gaah! Take a chill pill, Nosty. Better yet, like, pop two.
DR. BELCH [over audience's laughter; still in voice]: Okay! Shut up! [in natural voice] Many people wonder wha tis the secret to good writing, like it's a magic formula. Well...there isn't. Thee's no lamp to rub and no genie to come out. It's three basic rules I follow. Number one is as old as Father Time....
FATHER TIME, offstage: Hey! I'm not old! I'm what they call a "seasoned citizen"!
DR. BELCH [smiles; holds up one finger]: --write what you know. The second rule [holds up a second finger] is that inspiration doesn't come when you demand it to. Looking at a blank computer screen doesn't work. Usually the golden idea will come to you while you're at the sink washing dishes, or lying in bed, or in the can. An idea is like a woman--she comes when you least expect it, she'd fickle, and she can't be forced into something she doesn't want to do. Third rule [holds up a third finger and gesticulates boldly while speaking]: care about what you're doing. If you don't love your work, it shows. Many writers get discouraged by a rejection letter. Me--[produces a thick manila folder from inside jacket and lays it on podium]--I've got dang near sixty of them. Do I like getting them? Hell, no. In the words of a lovely young lass here--[imitating Droopy]--"I'm not happy."
[Cut to audience. CHARITY is blushing. PEPPER, seated on her right, nudges her sharply with an elbow.]
PEPPER: Ah hah hah hahh! You hear that, Chare? That Jet guy from "Cowboy Bebop" just mentioned you in his speech! Guys with metal arms and beards are so way coolie-cool! Ah hah hah!
TOAST [on her right]: Babe, I think you need glasses. Like, seriously.
[PEPPER pouts.]
DR. BELCH's voice: But rejection shouldn't kill creativity. It should strengthen it. It should drive you to do better. I mean, whether you write...[zip pan to ERNEST HEMINGWAY, MARK TWAIN, and STEPHEN KING, who nod appreciatively]...or create art...[zip pan to MICHAELANGELO and LEONARDO DA VINCI; LEO holds up a painting of a thumbs-up, while MIKE holds up a carved respresentation of the gesture]...or cook [zip pan to HENRY VIII and his six wives--actually #2 and #5 are just severed heads and #3's body is propped up agaist the chair in her glass coffin. HENRY holds aloft a huge turkey leg in one fist and a big burrito in the other]...or whatever...[cut back to DR. BELCH at podium]...you must be driven by passion for your craft. That's what created "Psychology Today and Yesterday"--one man's passion. I wish to thank Dr. Freud--[nods to FREUD, standing in the wings]--and the others for their cooperation...my English and psych professors...my parents...and to the various mods, Net addicts, and Histeria fans who made it possible for me to even undertake such a project. Gracias.
[Applause. CHO-CHO and LUCKY BOB step forward and stand before the podium. CHO-CHO glances at BOB expectantly, but he jsut sands there and scratches his bottom.]
CHO-CHO [sotto voce, as "Chopsticks" plays]: Bob...give the nice man his prize.
BOB: Here's...trophy! [pulls a giant chicken bone from left pocket.
CHO-CHO [sotto voce]: Other pocket!
BOB: Oh. [pulls gold trophy from right pocket] Here's...trophy! [presents it to the good doctor]
DR. BELCH: Thank you. I'm honored. [high feminine voice, imitating young Katherine Hepburn] Rahhhhhhhhhlly I am.
[Applause. JOAN steps up to DR. BELCH flirtaciously.]
JOAN: So, like, doc...want to go out tonight and totally paint the town rouge?
DR. BELCH: Um...sorry, Joanie, but I already have a date tonight.
[A pink lightning bolt cuts through the aisle, and the Freakazoid theme--higher feminine register, with flutes--plays as FREAKAZETTE appears on stage. She is voiced by Alyson Court (Lydia on "Beetlejuice", Jubilee on "X-Men".]
FREAKAZETTE [sweetly, trilling like Judy Tenuta]: Hands off the merchandise, French fry--[screeching as Judy]--or I'll boil you in vegetable oil till you're crispy! [cuddles up to DR. BELCH] I promised the male writers I'd date the first one who finished a script starring me...[twirling DR. BELCH's sideburn on her finger]..and this big sweetie did it!
[Cut to a staff of male writers in a lounge frustratedly tearing sheets of paper and throwing the pieces on the floor. A few stomp on them in disgust.]
[Cut back to stage. JOAN seems dejected.]
JOAN: Like, gaah! What a heinous burn...and if there's one thing I know about, it's burning! [rimshot from offstage] I've, like, got no date for the post-award party!
DR. BELCH: Oh, I don't know. I have a friend who's always at my side when I write. He'd love to take you out tonight...and he's French. [calling] Pierre!
[A black male poodle bounds up on stage and stands on his hind legs. Background music is the French national anthem. JOAN's wide smile falls. PIERRE speaks in the voice Jeff Glenn Bennett uses for Napoleon.]
PIERRE: Bonjour, Madmoiselle. [kisses JOAN's hand; she seems surprised] I would be happy to take you out for dinner. I know a nice doughnut shop across the street from William Howard Big-Around-the-Middle School.
JOAN [smiling again]: Really? What kind of doughnuts do you like?
PIERRE: I like the plain! The plain!
JOAN [giggling] Gaah! Should've guessed! Duh!
FREAKAZETTE [taking DR. BELCH's hand]: Shall we?
DR. BELCH: Absolutely, querida. Where do you want to eat?
FREAKAZETTE: Anywhere but a French restaurant.
JOAN: Like, I heard that.
[The couples leave as NOSTRADAMUS watches, somewhat befuddled. An exterior camera shows the four enter a coach pulled by THE MR. ED HORSE outside the theater, and it drives away.]
[Cut back to NOSTRADAMUS as he shakes his head.]NOSTRADAMUS: Okay! These award shows never cease to amaze even my great powers of mentalation! [finger to head] I am now predictionating what their kids will look like! [shudders]
[Audience laughs and applauds.]
Nostradamus (continued): ...but even I could not have predictionated being left in the lurch like that.
Pepper (in the audience): Hey! He's not Abe Lincoln!
Toast (beside her): Save it, babe; we're on next so we'd better get going. (they leave their seats)
(cut back to a still seething seer)
Nostradamus: I mean, first that pretty missive of information who thought I was a vampeer is throwing me over for some smarty who lives in his pants, & now Miss of Arc is doing the dumping for a doggie! A doggie! And he was not even Fetch!
(cut to Loud's dog Fetch in the audience; he's @ Loud's feet, helping Loud protect Charity from B.B., as if Charity's cousin on the other side isn't doing that well enough. Although Loud & Charity have switched seats so now he's between her & B.B.)
Fetch: She's nice all right, but I'm still holding out for Colleen. (Road Rovers sting plays)
Nostradamus: ...but life, she is the on with the going & so forth Shut up! So I'll be looking elsewhere. Maybe that miss with the water of the pitching. Or I could go on that Crossing Over thingy. Good-bye & Shut up!
(So saying, he leaves the stage as do Cho-Cho & Lucky Bob, who are still trying to sell him, well, does it matter? We cut to the wings where Toast & Pepper are emerging.)
Pepper (to Toast): Hey! He wasn't John Edward!
Toast: Uh, Pep, aren't you only supposed to do that to a person once?
Pepper: I did it twice to the Wright Brothers.
Toast: Different acts, babe. Anyway, that whole crossing over thing was supposed to be a seg-, a seg-, well, you know, that guy that plays for the Orioles.
(cut to Father Time in the wings, whispering)
Time: No, not Segui, segue!
Toast: Whatever. It has something to do with crossing over, which is cool 'cause we're presenting the crossover award.
Pepper: And helping us is someone who crosses over himself. He was Goku from Dragonball, & before that he was Loud Kiddington.
(cut to Loud in the audience)
Loud: Hey, if you think I'm leaving her (points to Charity) alone with him (points to B.B.), you're crazy (turns to B.B.) Now, what were you saying about having two fish on the line? (points to Charity's cousin)
Charitably, we cut back to the stage where a recitation of the many lives of the next presenter is going on.
Toast: ...and he was also Hustle Man, & someone else...
Pepper: D'oh!
Toast: What?
Pepper That was who else he was, G.I. D'oh!
Toast: Oh yeah, okkay! So here he is now, with a friend & sometimes namesake.
Pepper: Let's make welcome Goku from the Dragonball series, & Mike Lafitte.
(as the audience applauds & the above named approach center stage, the camera finds Andrew Jackson in the audience)
Jackson: If you're waiting for me to make some comment on his name being Lafitte, you can move on. Hoo-whee!
(a hand taps his shoulder. It belongs to Buck Tuddrussell, who is there with the rest of the Time Squad)
Tuddrussell: Hey, down in front!
Otto Osworth: There's something very familiar about President Jackson.
Larry 3000 (paling with realization): Two of them. That settles it; there is no G*d.
And with that I hand the reins over to Mike, aka Goku, aka G.I. D'oh!, aka Hustle Man, aka Loud Kiddington. Take it away, whoever you are.
Dr. BELCH: (on the cellphone) He’s here? Great! He’s next, anyway! (hangs up) To bring out the next award He been through many battles, she been through many celebrties, he's been through insanity, and he's been in a sun too long! Please welcome, Mike, Pepper, Toast, and from a popular hit series from Cartoon Network, Dragonball Z, Goku!
Toast, Mike, and Goku walk in the stage, and realize that Pepper is missing.)
(QC to Mike.)
Mike: (to Toast) Yo, guys, am I missing someone?
Toast: Who?
Mike: Pepper Mills. Have you seen her?
(QC to Goku. Pepper is right behind Mike and Goku)
Goku: You talking about that crazy girl who always screams too much? She gives me the creeps.
Mike (to Goku): Goku, you're a brave fighter and you afraid of Pepper Mills? Give me one good reason why you afraid of her?
Pepper: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH HA HA!!!
(Toast, Mike, and Goku screaming QC to three young men jump so high and hit the roof. QC to Toast landed on the ground first, then Mike, and Goku, on top of one another.)
(QC to Mike groaning)
Mike: Ok, give me another.
(audience laughs)
Mike: Okay right after we show our best Histeria! Crossover we will bring you a special presentation of the Z fighters’ last battle!
(QC right behind Loud, Double B, and Charity, there’s the ‘self proclaimed’ hero, Hercule)
Hercule: That guy in the punk hair, what did he deserves to be in the spot light! I suppose to be up there, not him! I the one who defeated Cell!)
(QC to Krillin, Piccolo, and Vegita)
Krillin: Man, does that half-wit ever shuts up?
Piccolo: He’s like a broken record.
Vegeta: Does that blasted idiot ever get it? Hercule didn’t destroy Cell. It was Kakrot’s son who destroyed him.
(QC to BB)
BB: Man, and I thought me and Mike are the only one who have issues.
Charity: So do I.
BB (Eerie, love look in his eyes and Charity with an angry look): So do I.
(Loud whack him in the head with a mallet)
(QC to Mike) Wait a second (takes a look at the script and pointing to Toast and Pepper) You guys aren’t the presenters of the best crossover, me and Goku is.
Toast: Let me see, dude. (Look at the script) Who wrote the script?
Mike: Sammy Selman
(QC to Sammy)
Sammy: Ok, so I screwed up with the whole thing. Big deal!
(QC to Mike)
Mike: and I hired this guy to run the video?
Toast: Still up for the big wrap party, right?
Mike: Yeah bro!
Pepper: Mike, there’s my older sister who really loves you.
Mike: Who?
Pepper: She’s right there! (QC to a cute 19-year old girl who sitting next to Charity’s Cousin. Her name is Penny Cinnamon Mills.
(Penny waves at Mike and blow kisses at him)
Mike: (blushes) Aw man, there IS A GOD!!!
(Audience laughs)
(Toast and Pepper headed to backstage)
Goku: Uh…Mike, can you give out the award.
Mike: Oh, yeah!! They are no 4th place and bronze in this category, the silver award goes to R6, JusSonic, and PJS. The stories, H! moves to South Park and Super H! Bros!!! (all in 1 vote)
(Audience clapping while R6, PJS, and JusSonic walked in, and received the silver award.)
R6: Yo, Lydia!!! I did it for you!!!
PJS: I got two words for all of you. Hey Ed, write this down. Buttered toast!!!
(QC to Ed, Edd, ‘n’ Eddy)
Ed: He read my mind, Eddy!!
(QC to Toast)
Toast: That is so sick, dude.
(Laughter)
(QC to Mike)
Mike:JS and PJS you just won the gold award for the best crossover, Rugrats/Histeria adventure and Toasty H! Picture Show. (2 votes)
JS and PJS: AAAAAAARRRIIIIGHT!!!!!
(JS and PJS jumps up and landed on the presenter’s table)
JS: You rock!! Thank you all!!
PJS: Like to thank Toast and Pepper for making this happen! And all the H! Cast too, you too Loud and Charity.
Loud: SHOW US THE PRESTATION OF GOHAN VS CELL!!!!
(Hurcule frightened)
Hurcule: I must stop them! (runs to the video room) Hey, you! Here’s the real footage of the battle.
Sammy: I love it, lets show it!!
(QC to Mike and Goku)
Goku: Ok, let it rip!!
(The footage is showing the ZTV logo is showing)
Announcer: This is brought to you by Rasing Rocks
(cut to a sandstorm while a actor in a Cell costume is standing)
Actor Cell: HA HA HA!!
(Mike looks surprised)
Mike: Wait a minute!!!
(QC to Charity)
Charity: I’m not happy.
Krillin: Make that all of us right here, Charity!
(QC to actor in a Goku costume)
Actor Goku: We will stop you, Cell.
(QC to the actor dress up as the Z fighters)
Goku: I remember this! It was so cool. I thought you never going to bring that for a presentation.
Mike: (embarrass) I didn’t.
(QC to actor Piccolo)
(QC to Piccolo)
Piccolo: What he’s trying to pull?
(QC to actor Vegeta)
Vegeta: Wait till I get my hands on that…
Actor Cell: Ha ha, It is I, Cell, who will defeat you.
Actor Goku: Let’s fight, ha ha
(QC to two actors doing a fight scene with a bungee cord attach to their costme)
(QC to Piccolo)
Piccolo: (shouting to Mike) Hey, kid! What kind of joke are you trying to pull?
Mike Uh, uh, uh, (runs backstage) Toast, Pepper, please find the guy who is responsible for this abomanation, while I hide and scream like a 4-year old girl. (screams)
(Hide under BB, Loud, and Charity)
Mike: (to BB) Please don’t tell the guys that I am still here.
(QC to Goku)
Goku: Wow, this is good, huh, Mike? (looks for Mike) Mike?
Actor Cell: Ha ha. You gang of strangers aren’t hard but easy!
Actor Goku: Dang, we lost!
Actor Cell: Now I have beaten you, I shall blow up the world. Ha ha.
Actor Hurcule: Wait, you haven’t beaten me!
(Just then, Vegeta flies up and blows up the TV.)
Vegeta: I HAVE ENOUGH OF THIS!!!!
(he find Mike)
Mike: AAAAAAAHHH! (Runs to the back)
Piccolo: You have made a fool of us!
Mike: Please, guys, there some idiot who didn’t do the job done.
Toast: That’s right, Piccolo dude!!
(QC to Toast and Pepper, who had tied up Sammy and Hercule.)
Pepper: It was that big phoney and the big dufus that we know all our lives.
Piccolo: Sorry about all this, do your job! (looks over to Sammy and Hercule), and as for you two…
(They all kicked these two out to the streets)
Sammy and Hercule: AAAAAAAAAAAHHH
(out came Slappy)
Slappy: Here here’s a present for the world champion who had stole the glory from a 12- year old boy about 4 years ago.
(Pulls out a bomb and BANG!!!)
(Audience Laughs)
(QC to the awards with new big screen and with Goku and Mike, with Penny Cinnamon Mills)
(The precious guys left and F. Time walked on stage.)
F. Time: Now that's award is out of the way, it's time for the award for Best Romance!
(The audience oooh.)
F. Time: Stop that. Now to present the award, he been helping us out in the past, and there's no one else we rather work with, from the 24 Hours series...Dr. Harry Norman!
(F. Time left the stage as Harry went up to podium.)
Dr. Harry Norman: Thank you F. Time. Now then, romance has been around since the beginning of time. If it weren't for romance, where would we be? Where Adam be without Eve? Abe without Mary-Todd? Or Takato without Rika?
(QC to the Digimon season #3 cast in the audience. Takato is slightly upset, while the others look on.)
Takato: You can't prove anything!!!
(Back to stage.)
Harry Norman: Whatever, now it's time for the awards. Tieing for second place, "Feelings of Aka and Her Froggy" made by BB, and "For the Love of H!" made by R6!
(BB and R6 go on stage to accept their awards.)
BB: Okay, I know some people are being boring, so I will rush this. I like to thank you guys for reading my story, and Froggo and Aka for being the couple in it.
(QC to Froggo and Aka)
Froggo: He doesn't know the half of it.
Aka: Ditto. (kiss Froggo on the cheek who blushes.)
(Back to stage.)
R6: My turn? Oh right, I like the H! cast for their cooperation and Toast and Pepper for being the main couple in the story.
(QC to the couple.)
Pepper: I am thanking him as well! I love my Toasty so much! (screaming insanely while hugging Toast.)
Toast: Whoa, babe! Calm down!
(QC to stage)
Harry: Are you guys done?
BB and R6: Yes.
(Both left the stage.)
Harry: 'Kay, now the winner of the title of Best Romance is... (reads cards and looks up.) Why am I not surprised? Another 24 Hours by robert!
(The author came up and accept his award.)
robert: Thank you Harry. I like to thank everyone for reading the story, even though it's slightly creeping. I especially thank JusSonic for posting my stories in the FanFiction.Net. Be sure to check them out! And I like to the cast for forgiving me for the trouble I put them though.
(QC to Loud and Charity)
Loud: YOU BETTER!
Charity: Or else!
(Back to stage.)
robert: Right. I also like to thank Harry for being there, as well.
Harry: Your welcome.
robert: Well, got to go.
(He went back to his seat. Harry left the stage, and F. Time return to the podium.)
+++++++++++++++++
Next Up: Pokejedservo- Best CotW
We can't let this thing die down... Pokejed's a busy guy, and therefore, we should politely ask him if he still wants to write his part, and if not, then who should take it over (Not me, since I'm slated for another part anyways - two's unfair, three's an @$$ whoopin'... though the idea WAS mine, but BB revived it.). Then again, how long did it take to finish the Harleys? Aww, now R6 head starting to hurt!
(Enter Froggo and Cho-Cho)
Froggo: We have something that can help that.
R6: What?
Cho: Ancient remedy. Three dollars please.
R6: Alright.
Froggo: Great! I'll go get the ice cubes...
R6: ICE?!?!?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! (R6 runs FAR away, leaving a lightning bolt behind him, and a flaming trail behind that)
), but I cannot garuentee that part will be "Best Fanfic"...