Me: Hi, gang! Welcome to my interactive fanfic in which we have different Histeria cast members present themselves to our discerning readers. The readers must then decide which cast member is NOT the one who he/she is claiming to be, but is, in fact, a big fat liar. And now, to help me present this show, here's everyone's favorite punching bag, Baloney the Dinosaur!
Baloney: Ho-Ho! Thank you, LB! It's great to be here! We are going to have a yummy-rum-tum-tummy good time tonight!
Me: Look, orange thing, we made a deal. If you say one more cutsie thing, I am going to tie your arms in a knot!
Baloney: Awww. Violence won't solve anything! Why don't you try a little loveydov...
Me: Excuse me?
Baloney: Never mind.
Me: Let's just meet today's contestants. Our first one, from nearly every sketch on Histeria, we have Loud Kiddington!
Baloney: Oh, goody-goody...
Me: Snap out of it!
Baloney: Sorry!
(Enter Loud)
Me: Welcome, Loud. It's great to have you here.
Loud: It's great to be here!
Me: What's the matter, Loud? Cat got your voice tonight?
Loud: No, I've got a little laryngytis.
Me: How interesting... Now, here's how it's going to work. Baloney and I will grill you with some questions that you must answer to PROVE that you are Loud Kiddington. Fair?
Loud: No problem!!
Me: I'll start off. Loud, you have a lot of starring and supporting roles to your credit, but what was your very last Histeria appearance?
Loud: That would be "The Musical Scale" on "Big Fat Baby Theater".
Baloney: Ho-ho, loud kid! Can you name one historical role that you have played in the past?
Loud: How about Mozart?
Me: And finally, what other great Warner Brothers cartoon character have you done an entire sketch with?
Loud: That's easy, Elmer Fudd!
Me: Okay, that's all our viewers need to know. I am not going to say whether the answers are correct or not, that is up to them. Remember, though, that Loud may haave thrown in a "red herring" or two to trip you up. What do you think? Is he the real Loud Kiddington or not?
Baloney: You mean, we have a sneaky-weaky naughty-naughty spy in our midst?
Me: Shut up, already! Anyway, it's time for our next contestant. Ladies and gentlemen, will you please give a warm round of applause for our next contestant, Pepper Mills!
(Enter Pepper)
Pepper: Hi gang! It's way cool to be here tonight!
Me: Hello Pepper. Are you ready for your three questions?
Baloney: I loveydovey love quizzes!
Me: Look, who's responsible for you being here, anyway?
Baloney: Who do you think? Our own extra-special Mr. Kellner!
(Camera flashes to Big Fat Baby in buisness suit.)
BFB: Whee! Baloney-poo!
(Flash back to stage.)
Me: Sorry I asked. Okay, Pepper. Here is your first question. What was the name of your own mini-show on Histeria?
Pepper: "Pepper's Pep Rally"
Baloney: What was the name of the supery-doopery infomercial you did with Toast?
Pepper: "Super Amazing Constitutions."
Me: And finally, we all know that you are the most prolific autograph collector in the world. What autographs have you collected?
Pepper: Well, I have actually collected autographs from different people who AREN'T who I thought they were. During the course of the show, I collected autographs from people who aren't Ally McBeal, Steve Gutenberg, Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, the cute Hansons, and Lurch!
Me: Thank you, Ms. Mills. Now, on to our final contestant, Miss Information!
(Exit Pepper, enter Miss Info with, what else, a tourist group.)
Ms. Info: I'm walkin', I'm walkin', we are coming to a stop! I'm about to take part in a quiz hosted by this lovable nut and this huge orange creature made of felt!
Me: Okay, let's talk about your relatives later. Now, you know the rules, Ms. Info, so let's play!
Ms. Info: I'm all ears!
Me: Yeah, nothin' much between them, either! Okay, first question. Everyone wants to know, once and for all, was it the monument who got its name from General Washington, or vice versa?
Ms. Info: Look, darlin', I've told the whole world that it was the monument that got the name first. Objections?
Washington: (from audience) Yeah! The monument was named after me!
Ms. Info: Who is that guy, anyway?
Baloney: Ho-HO! Tell me, what do you do for a living?
Ms. Info: Why, I'm a tour guide, silly! Why else would I be wearing this outfit?
Me: Finally, what is your first name?
Ms. Info: Huh, now THAT's a tough one. Why don't you ask Mr. Smartypants?
(QC to Smartypants)
Smarty: Actually, the character known as Ms. Information did not have a first name. She was always referred to as "Miss Information". Her name is related to the term "Misinformation", which means "misleading information." Thank you and good night!
(QC back to stage)
Ms. Info: Thanks for clearing that up, Smarty!
Me: Well, that about does it! Now, it is up to you, the reader to decide! Who is telling the truth? Who is bluffing? Did the characters throw you any red herrings? You make the call! Post all replies below. I will answer when everyone is done guessing! Good luck!
Baloney: And always remember, a hug is a gift you give yourself!
Why, it's none other than JusSonic's fave little loud boy, Loud! But that description may not be accurate because if I'm right, then that's not him of course. Hey, we're not allowed to say why we think the character is phoney, are we, but I will say he did get one question wrong that may trip up a few.