(A fox was shown at the beginning, then ran away when timber was heard and a tree fell, then the Histeria! productions were shown)
(Opening text)
A long time ago, in a histerical galaxy far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far...phew! (Long, isn't it?)...away...
(Fade in on huge Histeria Wars going back. Then the opening text rolls in)
EPISODE IV
A NEW TIME
During a war between the good guys, which are the rebels and the bad guys, the Empire,
The rebels has managed to win their first victory against the Empire.
While this was going on, spies for the Rebellion has managed to get their hands on
The Empire's plans for their ultimate weapon, THE 24 HOURS STAR,
Which is strong enough to destroy a planet and maybe Children's Palace.
Right now, the beautiful Princess Charity is being chased by the Empire's agents.
She is intending on getting the plans to the Rebellion so they can get rid of the Empire forever...
If you can read this, forget getting glasses. I borrowed this line from the movie "Spaceballs".
(Opening fades out. Pan down to see a small planet. Around it, a little ship is being blasted on by a big ship. It almost looked like the opening of the Animaniacs version of "Star Wars" except for the fact that the big ship has a H! on the bottom. As the laser fight goes on, we QC to inside the small ship. We see two robots, R2-PU and C-OLD played once again by Big Fat Baby and Father Time. They both try to go down the hall, but the laser blasts from the big ship is making it difficult to walk down. Both robots look beaten and battered. We hear some blast offscreen that make C-OLD frowned)
C-OLD: Oh great. They just blown the reactor thing! It's official, we're doomed.
(A much of rebels, who looked like normal U.S. citizens in army clothes, ran past them. They stop at a doorway, as if waiting for the enemy to come in there. Their weapons are aimed at the door.)
R2-PU: Goo whir goo gee pooie poo?
C-OLD: Sadly no, R2-PU. The princess won't be able to get away this time.
R2-PU: Gah whir beep goopie poo!
C-OLD: And no, I am not changing your diapers! What's the blazes is that?!
(We and they heard a big noise offscreen. Even the rebels noticed this. Outside the ship, the small ship is being taken into the big ship. QC back to inside. The rebels are nervous, but are determined. Just then, the door they are waiting at blast opened. Stormtroopers, who looked like their army are designed in the army form in "Another 24 Hours", blasted at them. The rebels shoot back. Some rebels or stormtroopers died. Some blasts missed the droids, not on purpose, causing them to run off. Eventually, the blasts stop. Stormtroopers moved as if doing a military salute to someone important. That someone came in. It is the Lord of the Sith, Darth Burrows, who looks like Dr. Gene Burrows's robot version from the 24 Hours series. He is wearing a cape and appears to have trouble breathing. He goes into the ship, unexposed. Elsewhere in the ship, someone is putting some sort of disk in R2-PU's dome. Elsewhere again, C-OLD is looking around for his friend who is nowhere in sight.)
C-OLD: R2? Dang it, where the heck is he?! This is no time for an oil change!!
(We see doomed rebels screaming as he continues his search. He eventually spots the little droid at the end of a smoked hallway. Some little girl in white clothes is standing in front of him. She finished what she is doing and sent him on his way. R2-PU met up with his friend.)
C-OLD: There you are! Who is that lady you are with?
R2-PU: Goo whir gee gee poo.
C-OLD: That isn't a joke! That was a question! We better get out of here before those stormtroopers find us and sell to who knows where!
(R2-PU walk by him and goes down a hallway. C-OLD followed after him.)
C-OLD: Hey, where are you going???
R2-PU: Gahh whir gee. (farts)
C-OLD: I thought I told you to stop! Geez, I am getting too old for this.
(Elsewhere, rebels who survived were being taken away by stormtroopers who is holding them at gun range. Darth Burrows is holding one by his throat. One Imperial officer goes up to him.)
Imperial officer: We can't find the plans, sir! They aren't in their computer!
Darth Burrows: (to rebel) Where are the plans, you pathletic fool!
Rebel: What plans?
Burrows: Don't play stupid with me!
Rebel: I am not! We are only on a peaceful mission to Alderran!
Burrows: Are you on the level? Where is the ambassador?!
Rebel: Uh...
(Before he can finish, Burrows squeeze his throat harder, snapping it doing so. He then throws him against the wall, dead. He talks to his troopers.)
Burrows: Do whatever you can to find those plans! And find any passengers who's on this ship, I want them alive and not in Siberia!!!
Trooper: Yes, sir!
(Elsewhere in the ship, the girl who gave R2-PU something is hiding. The troopers are looking around for any passengers. We now see who she is: it is Princess Charity Norgana, who looks like Loud's girlfriend Charity Bazaar. She is preparing her gun as the troopers approached. One of them saw her)
Trooper: Hey! There is one! Set your weapon to stun and don't kill her!
(Charity got out of her hiding place and shot at them. One blast kill a trooper. However, another trooper managed to hit her with a stun blast, knocking her down and unconscious. The troopers go over to there.)
Trooper: She is stun, but okay. Are you sure you set your weapon to stun?
Trooper #2: Of course I did! Do I look stupid?!
Trooper #1: Is that a trick question?
Trooper #2: Oh shut up, and tell the boss we got someone.
(Elsewhere again in the ship, R2-PU is going to a door to one of the escape pods. C-OLD is catching up to him.)
C-OLD: Hey! What are you doing?! You can't go in there! What would our master say if he catches you in there?!
R2-PU: Goo whir pee pee goo.
C-OLD: Don't you talk to me that way, you little stinker! Now get out there!
R2-PU: Beep goo pee gah poo.
C-OLD: Secret mission? Plans? Are you drinking? Oh wait, you can't since you are too young.
R2-PU: Gooper gee. (farts)
C-OLD: And will you please...
(Before he can finish, another explosion nearly hits him. After some thinking, the old bot forcefully into the pod with R2-PU. The young bot then proceed into activiating it. QC to a firing station in the ship. The bots' escape pod is shown in their view. One of the soldiers saw it.)
Soldier: There is another one! I better...
Captain: Ah, forget it. It probably short-circuited or something. No one is aboard.
Soldier: I guess you're right. So, who do you like in The Big Game?
(QC to inside the escape pod. C-OLD is looking out the window at the Imperial ship.)
C-OLD: That's funny, the damage doesn't look as bad from out here.
R2-PU: Goo gee whir poo poo.
C-OLD: Hey, it is the best thing I can come up with, so cut me some slack!
(QC to outside the pod. The pod is headed toward an unknown planet. QC back to the ships. Charity, conscious again, is being led away by the troopers. Her hands are tied and her weapon is taken away, so there is nothing she can do at this point. She eventually met the person who she being led to: Darth Burrows)
Princess Charity Norgana: Darth Burrows. I am not happy. You attack a ship on an important mission! The Senate...
Burrows: Don't play dumb with me, Princess. I got enough of it already! You had gotten plans from spies who stole them from our fair Empire!
Charity: What are you talking about? You know every way that I am part of the Senate!
Burrows: Little witch, you are part of the Rebellion! That makes you a traitor! (To troopers) Take her to the Imperial ship!
(The troopers led Charity away. Burrows walk away, followed by an officer)
Officer: This is bad, Lord Burrows. If word got out, the Rebellion would go berserk.
Burrows: Who cares? Besides, if we are lucky, we can forced her to tell her where her Rebels friends are.
Officer: She would rather die then do that.
Burrows: If she rather died, then she better do it! And decreased the Rebel population. (Pause) Okay, so maybe I parody a line from that Dickens book, but I am evil, so what? Make sure you tell the Senate that everyone on board is killed or commited suicide.
(Another officer come up to him)
Officer #2: We can't find anything sir. The plans aren't in their computer, nor can we find any transmissions of any sort.
Burrows: Anything else?
Officer #2: Nothing that I can think of.
Burrows: (angrily) Are you sure?
Officer #2: Oh wait! An escape pod took off during the battle. No one is aboard so we didn't bother destroying it.
Burrows: You...didn't...captured it either?
Officer #2: We didn't think to do so, sir.
Burrows: You fool! The princess probably hid the plans in that pod! Find it at once! No one can stop us, not even anyone I don't know!
(QC now the planet itself. It looks like some sort of desert planet. The escape pod has landed and the droids are now out of it. They begin to walk, although C-OLD is starting to get tired.)
C-OLD: I am tired...can't go on.
R2-PU: Goo whir beep beep gee goo.
C-OLD: Yes, I know we are only three feet away from the pod! I am trying to make a good reference to the Animaniacs version here!
R2-PU: Whir gee goo poo goo pa.
C-OLD: Oh shut up. This place is starting to get to me.
(He looks around. It looks like it is desert for miles. R2-PU then goes the other way. C-OLD notices.)
C-OLD: Now where are you going?
R2-PU: Goo pee whir poo poo.
C-OLD: I don't care what you say. It is too rocky! I suggested we go this way!
R2-PU: Goo pee beep whir poo gee.
C-OLD: There aren't any settlements over there, you diapey junk! And besides, what mission? Oh forget it! Go ahead, you go your way, I will go mine and if you get trashed, don't come crying to me!
(C-OLD mumbled as he goes the opposite way. R2-PU goes the way he was going. He turns his head and makes crying noises. C-OLD didn't bother to turn around.)
C-OLD: Forget it! I am not doing any more favors. Good day!
(R2-PU sigh and the droids continues walking their separate ways. QC to a few seconds later to where C-OLD is at. It looks like he is the one who is lost. C-OLD mumbles as he turns around.)
C-OLD: Darn that brat. He trick me into going this way. I just know it.
(Just then, he notices a flashing light in the distant. He turn looks joy)
C-OLD: Finally, something good happen. (shouts) I am over here! Help!
(QC to where R2-PU is. The place he is in looks rocky. It looks like the Rocky Mountains that Lewis & Clark went to...sort of. As the little droid walks, he thought he heard something. He stop and take a look around. We see, unknown to R2-PU, two pair of eyes looking at him. The eyes then disappear. The little droid was about to go on his way...when a little creature jumped out and shot at him a energy blast. The droid sizzles and then went out of order. More of those creatures, who we should called pests, jumped out to join the first one. They are wearing robes and are carrying the same weapon as the first one. They then help pick up R2-PU, which is very very very heavy (Shut Up!), and bring them to their big crawler, which we QC to. The Crawler looks big as Gene Burrows's robo-spider. The pests drop R2-PU at the bottom of the crawler, put something on him (which is looks like a V-chip of some sorts), and then a vaccum noise sucked the little droid into the machine. The pests then walk away and went into the crawler. QC to inside the crawler itself. R2-PU wakes up and nervously looks around. There are a lot of catpured droids around, some of them looks trash and look like a trash can. R2-PU got up and walk around. He then hear someone.)
C-OLD: (V/O) R2-PU?
(C-OLD appears. He also looks trashed and has a V-chip on him. He goes over to R2-PU)
C-OLD: I was wondering what happened to you!
R2-PU: Beep goo pee gah gah.
C-OLD: Don't say that. I didn't know those pests would captured me!
(R2-PU makes fart noises. QC to outside. The crawler drives off. QC to where the escape pod is. Stormtroopers is there, searching it. Some of them is on big pigs. One of them spoke up.)
Trooper #1: Someone must be in the pod.
Trooper #2: How did you know?
Trooper #1: (Point to the droids' track) I see their tracks.
(Trooper #2 picks up a bolt or two)
Trooper #2: Hey droids. This could be interesting.
(QC back to the crawler. It continues moving. QC back to inside. C-OLD and R2-PU are standing around nervous. Eventually, the crawler stops. A hatch opens at the end of the room they are in, and the Pests came in. They are bringing (or forcefully as the case may be) the droids out.)
C-OLD: It also official, we are doomed again.
(One of the pests came up to them and force C-OLD and R2-PU to go through the hatch. QC to outside. The droids are lining up to be sold in front of the crawler. The crawler has stop in front of a homestead, that looks like a cross between a home and a farm, or maybe both. The pests are dusting the droids and looking them over to be sold. Two people came out of the homestead. They are Jim Lars and Froggo Skywalker. They both looked like Jim from "24 Hours" and H!'s own Froggo. They are both in Star Wars clothes.)
Froggo Skywalker: Well, here are the Pests. Hopefully, they got something good in stock, Uncle Jim.
Jim Lars: If they work, they must be useful. Come on.
(They both go to the crawler, but Froggo was stopped by a voice.)
Voice: (V/O) Froggo!
(Froggo go to a hole looking over some of the homestead, who looks like Jim's wife Sally, talks to him.)
Sally Lars: If your uncle finds anything, make sure it is a translator, okay?
Froggo: Yes, Aunt Sally.
(Froggo goes back to join his uncle. Jim is talking to the leader of the Pests, who looks suspicously like Chit Chatterson)
Chief Pest: Yes sir! We got the bestest droids in stocks!
Jim: You said that every time you come here.
Chief Pest: I know, but we just got some new ones today! Check them out!
Jim: Fine.
(Jim looks the droids over then stop in front of C-OLD)
Jim: You.
C-OLD: What?
Jim: Do I know you from somewhere?
C-OLD: Not that I know of, sir.
Jim: Funny, I shoulda sworn you remind me of a droid that came with my late step-mom. Oh well. What are you programmed to do?
C-OLD: I am a protocol droid. But not any protocol droid. I can understand any type of languages.
Jim: Are you programmed to understand Bocce?
C-OLD: Heh, it's like a second language to me! In fact, I known many types of language. I also know foul language, but let's not go there.
Jim: We won't. Do you language vaporators?
C-OLD: Yes, but...
Jim: Good. (To Chief Pest) I will take this one.
Chief Pest: Wise choice, sir! We just got him this morning.
C-OLD: (mumbles) Or stole him, anyway.
(Jim didn't hear what C-OLD say and talk to Froggo)
Jim: Froggo, take this and that red droid in the garage to be clean.
Froggo: But uncle Jim, I was going to...
Jim: You can play later, Froggo. Just go already.
Froggo: Fine. Come on. That includes the red one.
(Froggo led C-OLD and a red bot away. The other Pests carry and forced the other droids into the crawler. R2-PU cries and was going to go after C-OLD, but was stop by a Pest with a zapper. Jim is paying off the Chief Pest, who look at the money greedfully. Froggo, C-OLD, and the red bot was almost to the garage...when the red bot suddenly pops it top...literally. Froggo stop and look the red bot over. He then yell over to his uncle)
Froggo: Hey, uncle Jim.
Jim: Yeah?
Froggo: This droid just blown it top!
(Jim saw the red bot and then turn angrily to the Chief Pest)
Jim: You swindler! What are you trying to pull?!
Chief Pest: It isn't my fault! We forgot to check the warranty on that thing!
Jim: Warranty my foot! I want some of my money back!
(While this is going on, C-OLD speaks to Froggo)
C-OLD: Uh, may I make a suggestion?
Froggo: What?
C-OLD: (pointing to R2-PU) Why don't you exchange this droid for that R2-PU unit? It is in good shape and only needs an oil change.
Froggo: Hmmm. (To Jim) What about we exchange this broken down red bot for that R2 unit?
(Jim thought about this and spoke to the Chief Pest once more)
Jim: Tell you what, I won't sue your butt off if you take back the red bot and gimme that R2 unit in exchange.
(Chief Pest looks nervous)
Chief Pest: Uh, sure. Whatever you say.
(R2-PU looks happy as he goes over to his friend C-OLD, while the other Pests took the broken down red bot away.)
C-OLD: You won't regret it, boy. I work with that droid before. He is a good friend.
R2-PU: Goo gee whir beep poo.
Froggo: What did he say?
C-OLD: He needs an oil change.
(Froggo sniffs and frowns)
Froggo: Ugh. You are right. Well, come on.
(Froggo led the two droid friends away. R2-PU goos happy to his friend)
C-OLD: Ahh, shut up. I am only doing it because I felt sorry. Don't accuse me of being that.
(QC to inside the garage. It looks messed up and badly clean. C-OLD has just gotten out of the oil bath, while R2-PU has just got an oil change.)
C-OLD: Ah. Thanks the maker, whoever he is.
(Froggo is too busy playing with a toy to noticed. Finally, he frowns and throws it away.)
Froggo: Who am I kidding? Billy is right. I will never get out of this dump!
C-OLD: Who is Billy?
Froggo: Billy Darkkider. A friend of mine who is in the Imperial Academy school. He just visited recently.
C-OLD: Ah. (Pause) Do you want me to help you with anything?
Froggo: Try reverising time or something that would get me off this dustball planet.
C-OLD: I wish I can, but I can't. Besides, although I know about some planets, I have no idea where the heck we are.
Froggo: You are on the planet farthest from the sun.
C-OLD: Pluto?
Froggo: No Disney references. Anyway, you are on Tatoonie.
C-OLD: Never heard of it. At least, I don't think so. R2, did you heard of a planet Tatoonie?
R2-PU: Goo gee whir beep poo.
C-OLD: I am afraid he doesn't either, sir.
Froggo: Please call me Froggo and I will call you anything you want.
C-OLD: In that case, my name is C-OLD, human/cyborg/time relations. And this little baby droid is my counterpart of some sort, R2-PU.
Froggo: And from the way I changed it oil, I can see why. When's the last time that droid got an oil change?
C-OLD: Remember when air was invented?
Froggo: No.
C-OLD: Before that.
R2-PU: Beep poo whir ooh.
Froggo: That is long. So, you guys been through lot?
C-OLD: Darn right we are! I am surprised we are even alived after that whole thing with the Rebellion.
(Froggo looks at C-OLD and R2-PU startled)
Froggo: Hold on! You mean, you know the Rebellion's fight against the Empire?!
C-OLD: Yep. That is why we are here though I can't imagined why.
Froggo: Cool! Have you been in any dog fights?
C-OLD: I didn't see any dogs fighting. I just try to avoid fights. Bad for my function, you know.
(While C-OLD is talking, Froggo is removing something from R2-PU's neck. It appears to be struck tight.)
Froggo: Geez. This is hard to remove. So, did you guys got off a ship or...
(Before Froggo can finish, he got the thing out, knocking him down. A hologram of Charity came out of R2-PU's hologram thing. The hologram frizzles out as Charity's message say something. Froggo looks amazed at this.)
Charity's message: Help me Frog-Go Kenobi. You're my only hope.
Froggo: Who...who is that? She is beautfiul.
(C-OLD looks at it also)
C-OLD: The heck I know. Probably an old message or something.
(The message then then repeats itself. Charity's message keeps saying the same thing.)
Froggo: Do you know her, C-OLD?
C-OLD: Like I said, I don't know. I think she was that girl who was with R2-PU when our ship was attacked.
R2-PU: Goo whir peep poo.
C-OLD: I told you it wasn't a joke!
Froggo: There must be more. Let me see...
(Before Froggo can reach him, R2-PU pulls away, making protesting noises)
Froggo: Hey, come on!
C-OLD: You can trust him, R2! Just give him the rest of the message!
R2-PU: Whir goo pee gah beep.
C-OLD: Oh great.
Froggo: What?
C-OLD: He said he belong to someone named Frog-Go Kenobi, who lives around here and this message is for him. (then he look at Froggo confused) What the...?!
Froggo: Relax. My last name is Skywalker, not Kenobi.
C-OLD: Phew. For a minute there, I was I was going crazy. Anyway, I think R2-PU is confused as well. Our last master is someone name Captain Hemingway, though I think he is dead by now.
Froggo: Huh. (Pause) Hmmm. I wonder if she mean Thomas Kenobi.
C-OLD: What?
Froggo: Well, I don't know any Frog-Go Kenobi, but I do know of old Thomas. He is a hermit who lives in the hills. I don't see much of him. My uncle doesn't like him for some reason.
(Froggo looks at the hologram longfully)
Froggo: I wish I knew who she is. Is there a chance to play back the whole message?
R2-PU: Goo whir beep beep pah.
C-OLD: That disk that Pests put on him made it unable to play the whole thing. Maybe if you remove it, it might help.
(Froggo pause and take a bar and then begins to remove the disk off of R2-PU.)
Froggo: Okay, but don't you two run off on me, okay?
C-OLD: Don't worry we won't.
(Froggo succeeds in removing the disk off of R2-PU. However, the princess's hologram then disappears. Froggo looks startled again)
Froggo: Hey! Bring her back, I want to see the whole thing!
C-OLD: Go on, play it.
R2-PU: Gah whir beep poo poo?
C-OLD: The message you been playing! What, do you want a oil change again?!
Sally: (V/O) Froggo! Dinner!
Froggo: Great. C-OLD, can you somehow convinced this droid to play the whole thing. I got to eat.
C-OLD: I can see to it, master Froggo.
(Froggo nodded and left. C-OLD turns to the little droid, frowning)
C-OLD: You better replay the message, you junk, or else!
(QC to the dining room inside the homestead. Aunt Sally is serving dinner when Froggo came in. He sat down next to uncle Jim)
Jim: How are those droids doing, Froggo?
Froggo: Fine, but I think they were stolen?
Jim: What gave you that idea?
Froggo: Well, I found some recording while cleaning it. He claims to belong to someone named Frog-Go Kenobi.
(A pause as Jim look deep in thought. Sally, on the other hand, looks nervous. Jim finally spoke)
Jim: So?
Froggo: Is this Frog-Go Kenobi person related to old Thomas?
(Jim looks angry)
Jim: Look, Froggo. I told you to stay away from the old geezer, he is a crazy man and you know it! Tomorrow, we will take that R2 droid to whatever that place is and erase its' memory or what's left of it. That will take care of that nonsense.
Froggo: Okay. But what if whoever this Frog-Go person is comes looking for him?
Jim: Didn't I say to forget about it?
Froggo: No, you told me to stay away from old Thomas.
Jim: Oh. (Pause) Besides, I don't think the so-called "Frog-Go" will be here to claim it. He's dead.
Froggo: What did you know?
Jim: He died the same time as your dad.
(Froggo looks startled once more)
Froggo: He knew my dad?!
Jim: Just forget about it, okay?! The only thing you could bother with is I want those droids ready and willing to do work tomorrow. Just forget that old Frog-Go nonsense.
Froggo: Okay, fine. (Pause) BTW, do you remember our deal?
(Jim looks startled)
Jim: Deal? What deal?
Froggo: That I stay another season. And the fact that if those droids turn out fine, I can go to the Academy this year?
(Jim frowns once more)
Jim: You mean the semester before farming time?
Froggo: That's right.
Jim: You can't go. That time is when I need you to stay longer.
Froggo: But you promised!
Jim: I know, but we haven't got enough money yet. Besides, if next harvest went well, I can hired more helpers and you can go.
Froggo: Yeah right.
Jim: It will happen. I promised!
(Froggo got up from his seat)
Froggo: Oh sure. Geez, I wonder where I heard that before? Oh yes, before Billy and Remus went to that academy!!!
(Froggo begin to stalk off)
Sally: Where are you going, Froggo?
Froggo: Nowhere!
(Froggo left the dining room. Sally turns to Jim)
Sally: You can't keep him here forever, Jim. He needs to be with his other friends. He really wants to go.
Jim: I will try to keep my promise next year.
Sally: He is not the farmer you always wanted, dear. He has too much of his father in him.
(Jim looks nervous)
Jim: That is what I am afraid of.
(QC to outside of the homestead. Froggo is out there staring at the two suns as they are setting. He sighs and went into the garage. QC to inside the garage. Froggo is in there, and notices the robots aren't around. He took out a zapper like the one the Pests always use. He points at random and C-OLD came out yelping)
Froggo: Ah ha! Trying to hide?
C-OLD: Ouch! Don't do that! I was resting!
Froggo: Okay, I found you, where's R2-PU?
C-OLD: I don't know, and I don't care. He left to go out on his "secret mission".
Froggo: What?!
(Froggo ran out followed by C-OLD. QC to outside the homestead. Froggo pulls out binoculars and began to search for R2-PU. He is still nowhere in sight.)
C-OLD: Can you see him?
Froggo: No. Blast! Where is he?!
C-OLD: How about we go after him?
Froggo: Can't. Too dangerous. The sand people are around.
C-OLD: What?
Froggo: Sand people are actually Tusken Raiders. They attack people for no good reason and suck their blood. It is too terrible to think of. Anyway, I think we better wait until morning to find him.
Jim: (V/O) Froggo!
Froggo: (shouting back) Yeah, uncle Jim?
Jim: (V/O) Me and your aunt Sally going to bed! Make sure you turn the lights off and the shields on before you go to bed too!
Froggo: (shouting back) Oh right. I make sure to do that. (to C-OLD, normal voice) I am in so much trouble. If I ever find that droid, I am going to whack him.
(QC to morning in the homestead. Jim is looking around for Froggo. He is nowhere to be found. He then goes into the Kitchen, which we QC to. Sally is there, fixing breakfast when Jim came in.)
Jim: Sally, do you know the boy is?
Sally: If you mean Froggo, he say he got some things to do before breakfast and he will be back in time. He took those droids with him, if you are wondering about that.
(Jim frowns and begins to leave)
Jim: He better not break the droids or he is going to get it.
(Sally shook her head and continuing cooking. QC to somewhere in the desert. Froggo and C-OLD are in a speeder looking for R2-PU. C-OLD is driving while Froggo is looking in a scanner. He sees something)
Froggo: I see something! It must be R2-PU.
C-OLD: Can I please scold him before you break him?
Froggo: I will think about it.
(We then QC to a rock place overlooking the part of the desert they are in. As they go, we see a sand creature, who looks like an Indian. He is about to fired at them when he is stop by another sand creature. They talked in a language we don't understand and they left. We now see that they went on their camels and they went off on them. QC to see that Froggo and C-OLD found R2-PU. They parked the speeder and went over to stop him.)
Froggo: There you are. Where the heck you are thinking you are going?
R2-PU: Beep goo gah pee gooper poo.
C-OLD: Will you stop with that whole "Frog-Go" nonsense! Master Froggo is our owner now, so you might as well...
R2-PU: Goo gee beep whir poo.
C-OLD: Oh great.
Froggo: What now?
C-OLD: He said he heard some creatures coming from the southeast.
Froggo: Sand creatures. Great.
(Froggo went to the speeder and took out his gun and binoculars. He and C-OLD went to see if the sand people are coming while R2-PU went to hide. QC to a ridge that they are on. We are looking through Froggo's binoculars now. He sees some camels that are abandoned.)
Froggo: I see the camels that the sand people usually ride, but no sand people. Maybe R2...
(Before he can finish, he sees a sand creature approaching the camels)
Froggo: Wait! I see one of them now.
(Before they know, someone appears in front of the bincoulars. We now see that Froggo and C-OLD are being attacked by another sand creature. C-OLD accidentally and fell down a side of the cliff. Froggo, on the other hand, tries to fight back, but the creature destroys his gun and knocked him out. The sand creature then gave one of the noises Indians usually make. QC to somewhere where R2-PU is hiding. He is looking out nervously as he sees that Froggo is being forced by the sandpeople to move and they throw him on a rock. It looks they were going to kill him...when a strange creatures appears and make weird noises. The sandpeople freaked out and ran off, leaving Froggo behind. R2-PU, curious, came of hiding. Sure enough, a creature who is wearing in what appears to be a cloak walks over to Froggo and check him. Knowing that Froggo is okay, he then removes his hood. The creature is actually a man in a hood. The man looks like Thomas Edison. He then looks over to where R2-PU is hiding.)
Man: Hello. Don't worry, I can't hurt you. You can come over here if you like.
(R2-PU came out of his hiding place and went over to the man and an unconscious Froggo. Froggo then wake up and open his eyes.)
Man: You are okay, my friend. You just got a bump on the head, that's all.
Froggo: Thomas? Thomas Kenobi?
Thomas Kenobi: Yes, it is me.
Froggo: Man, thanks for saving me, I guess. I almost got killed back there.
Thomas: Your welcome, though I don't think you came here just to get hurt. Why did you come here?
Froggo: Oh. Well, my little friend R2-PU here is looking for someone who he said is his former master. He is looking for someone called Frog-Go Kenobi. Do you know what he is talking about, because I don't?
(Thomas chuckles)
Froggo: What?
Thomas: Frog-Go Kenobi. And _that's_ a name I hadn't heard in a long, long time.
Froggo: Anyway, my uncle said he is dead. Maybe he is right.
Thomas: No, he is wrong. Frog-Go is not dead, not yet anyway.
Froggo: He is alive? Where is he?
Thomas: Right here.
Froggo: What? Do you even know him?
Thomas: (chuckle) Of course, I know him. He is me.
(Froggo looks surpsied)
Frog-Go Kenobi: I never use my real name, Frog-Go Kenobi since you were born.
Froggo: Why?
Frog-Go: Well, there will be two people with the same or compared-like name, so it will be confusing, will it?
Froggo: You must be right. R2-PU, I guess we found your owner.
Frog-Go: Wait a minute, owner? I don't own any droid. At least, not that I know of.
(We then hear some noises offscreen. Frog-Go looks concerned)
Frog-Go: We better continued this inside. I may have fooled those sand people, but they will come back, and trust me they won't be fooled again.
Froggo: Your right, come on, R2.
R2-PU: Goo beep beep whir gah!
Froggo: Oh yes, I forgot. C-OLD!
Frog-Go: Who?
(Froggo ignored him and went over to get C-OLD. Frog-Go and R2-PU followed. We see where C-OLD has fallen. One of his arms came off, but besides that, he doesn't look too damaged. C-OLD woke up when the three has arrived.)
Froggo: C-OLD? Are you okay?
C-OLD: I am fine, though I am afraid my arm came off. You might as well leave me here to die.
R2-PU: Goo beep whir gah poopie beep.
Froggo: No way! I am not leaving you here! I am taking you inside.
(QC to inside of Frog-Go's cave. It looks like any sort of person's home, but almost like Ben's home in the Star Wars movie. Froggo is busy on the couch fixing C-OLD while Frog-Go tells him about his dad. Froggo shakes his head.)
Froggo: Wait a minute, Frog-Go. You are saying that my dad fought in a war?
Frog-Go: Yes, and will you please called me Thomas for a while? Hearing my name that is compared to yours is getting confusing.
Froggo: Okay, Thomas. Besides, my uncle told me that he was a trash collector.
Thomas: So you think. Your uncle only say that just to keep you on the farm so you won't follow your heart and stuff like that.
Froggo: Well, he almost succeeeded.
Thomas: Your uncle never did like the fact that your father was involed in the Drone Wars like I did.
Froggo: You were in the Drone Wars?
Thomas: Yep. I was a Jedi Knight just like your father was.
Froggo: Jedi? Was?
Thomas: A jedi is someone who protects the peace in the galaxy. You might say we are guardians the galaxy thought they never have.
Froggo: Oh. (sighs) What is my father like?
Thomas: Your father was the best pilot I had ever seen, and a kick-butt fighter as well. You look like you took after your dad in a way possible. A pilot, and you had good skills
Froggo: Thanks.
Thomas: Speaking of which...
(Thomas got up and went over to a chest. Froggo has just finished putting C-OLD's arm back on)
Thomas: I got something you may need in the future. Your father wanted me to give this to you. Your uncle didn't want me to since...well, you get the picture.
Froggo: I did. What do you got?
C-OLD: Heh, this whole thing is starting to tired me out. Is it okay that I go to sleep for a while?
Froggo: What? Oh, okay.
(C-OLD deactvaited, or went to sleep in this case. Thomas hands Froggo his dad's gift-a saber like weapon. Froggo got up and take a look at it.)
Froggo: What is it, Thomas?
Thomas: It is your father's lightsaber.
(Froggo turns it on. A frizzling blue light came out of it. Froggo wave it around, careful not to hit anyone with it.)
Froggo: Neat. What does it do?
Thomas: It is a weapon of the Jedi. We Jedi used it to keep peace in the galaxy so others won't be hurt. Not as good as a gun like you think, but once you get used to it, you will realized it will be for the best. When the old Republic was still around, we Jedi were always keepers of peace, justice, and keeper of the space-time continnum. Unfortunately, the dark times came and with it came the Empire.
(Froggo then turns off his dad's lightsaber and look at Thomas sternly)
Froggo: Thomas? How did my dad died?
Thomas: Do you wish to know?
Froggo: You do know, Thomas. I know you do.
(Thomas sighs)
Thomas: Listen up, Froggo, because this will sadden you. You see, I used to have an apprentice by the name of Darth Burrows. But he was taken over by the Dark Side of the Force and helped the Empire killed all the Jedi in existant. Sadly, he betray and murdered your father.
Froggo: He...he killed my dad?
Thomas: Yes. Only some of us are either dead or in-hiding, like me.
Froggo: You mentioned that Darth Burrows was taken over the Dark Side of the Force. What is the Dark Side, and more importantly...
Thomas: What is the Force? It is our power. It is the only thing that keeps our galaxy together.
Froggo: So you say.
Thomas: Right. There are two sides to the Force. The light side and the dark side. The light side is what we Jedi used to keep the peace and everything else in order. The dark side is what evil beings like Burrows use to created terror and evil in our galaxy.
Froggo: That must be bad.
Thomas: It is worse.
R2-PU: Goo beep whir pah?
Thomas: Oh yes. I almost forgot. Let's see what you got, little one.
(Thomas went over to the baby droids, and activated the message function)
Froggo: I saw the last part of the message, I think. I never did..
Thomas: Hold on. I think I found it.
(The hologram of Charity appeared once again. This time, Charity managed to give out her entire message)
Charity's message: General Kenobi, if you are seeing this, then my droid has found you. From what I understand, you once helped my father during the Drone Wars all those years ago. Now he and I need your help against the evils of the Empire. I wanted to give this message to you in person, but the Empire has attacked our ship and I will be captured before I can make it to you and get you to my planet of Alderran. Now the information the Rebellion needed is installed in this little droid. Please take him to Alderran. My father will know what to do. Hurry. Help me, Frog-Go Kenobi, you're my only hope.
(The hologram disappears meaning that the transmission is done. Thomas look on in thought, while Froggo watches. Finally Thomas speak)
Thomas: Froggo?
Froggo: Yeah?
Thomas: You will have to come with me to Alderran. But you must learn the way of the Force if you were to come with me.
(Froggo looks surprised)
Froggo: Wait a minute, what? I can't go! What would my uncle say? Gasp He doesn't even know I am here! Oh, I am in for it now.
Thomas: I need your help, Froggo, so does she, even if you didn't know it yet.
Froggo: Huh?
Thomas: Never mind. I am getting old and I need new generations of Jedi to take over if I am gone.
Froggo: I can't get involved. Even if I don't like the Empire, which I don't because I hated them, there is nothing I can do.
Thomas: That is how your uncle would talk if he was here.
Froggo: Another thing, what would my uncle say if I told him all this? I am so grounded it won't be even funny.
(Thomas gave him a serious look)
Thomas: Froggo, believe it or not, you must learn the ways of the Force.
(Froggo paused and sigh)
Froggo: I will try to take you to a bus stop, and maybe you can get help from there. That is all I have to do for you.
Thomas: You got to believe what is in your heart, Froggo.
(QC to outside space. We see a plane that looks like Washington helicopters from "Another 24 Hours" flying towards a huge station: it's the 24 Hours Star. We QC inside to a conference room where the senators and generals of the Empire are sitting around a table. Stormtroopers are there to make sure nothing bad happens. One of the commanders, who looks like Genghis Khan in a uniform, is speaking)
Commander Khan: As you can see, pilgrims, we are open to attack until this whole station is operational. Those rebels are going to take any chance on attacking us.
(Another commander, who looks like Walter Konin (Gene's boss), speaks up)
Commander Konin: Oh please, how stupid are you? Those rebels don't stand a chance against this station!
Khan: Well, I believe that the Rebels will try to get support from the Imperial Senate...
Voice: Oh, I don't think it will be a problem, gentlemen.
(A person, in Tarkin's clothes, came in followed by Darth Burrows. He looks like Dr. William Shelton. Shelton sat down at the head of the table.)
Grand Moff Shelton: You will be please to know gentlemen, that our beloved Emperor has "disbanded" the Senate and we now have control. We don't have the old Republic to worry about anymore.
Khan: And how in space are we intend on doing that, pilgrim?
Shelton: Simple. As long as the systems will feared that this station will destroyed their home worlds if they protested to this, we will be invincible.
Khan: And how do we know that these pilgrims don't have the plans already and know how to defeat us?
Burrows: Don't worry, Khan. We will have the plans back and we will have nothing more to worry about later on.
Konin: Even if they do have the plans, it will be useless. This battle station is too powerful even for them to conquer them!
Burrows: I wouldn't be too confident if I were you, Konin. This station made have the power to destroy a planet, but that is nothing against the power of the Force.
Konin: Oh please, that dull black magic? It didn't help you squatt of finding the plans and those rebels, you stupid...
(Before Konin can finish, he find himself unable to breathe. That's because Burrows is using the Force to choke him by clutching his fist.)
Burrows: I find your lack of faith disturbing. And so help me...
Shelton: Stop it, Burrows. Release him. He learn his lesson.
Burrows: Very well.
(Burrows let go of Konin, who is managed to breath again.)
Shelton: Let's that be a lesson for you, Konin, and that includes everyone else. No one insults Burrows without regreting it. Now then, let's see if we can't get the princess to tell us where her rebels friends are hiding so we can destroy them once and for all, right Burrows?
(QC back to the planet Tatoonine. C-OLD, R2-PU, Froggo, and Thomas have stopped in front of what appears to be a crawler that was destroyed. There are a bunch of dead Pests on the ground. Froggo shook his head)
Froggo: I know the sand people are crazy, but I never expected them to do this.
Thomas: They didn't. Someone wants us to think they did this. Froggo, do you see these tracks.
(Thomas points to some tracks on the ground. Froggo nodded)
Froggo: Yeah, what about them?
Thomas: If you remember, sand people don't go by side-by-side. They always go separate so they can easily sneak up on their target, hiding their numbers doing so.
(Froggo looks at the number on the crawler, and it looks like he is going to be sick.)
Froggo: This number...I saw this before! These Pests are the same ones who sell my family C-OLD and R2-PU! But who could have done such a thing?!
Thomas: See those blasts on the crawler?
(He points to what appears to be laser blasts on the wreck crawler.)
Froggo: Yes...
Thomas: Sand people never use blasters like these. My only conclusion is that stormtroopers, minions of the Empire, did this, since their ship was above our planet at the time.
Froggo: I don't think Imperial troops would kill Pests just for fun...
(He realized this as he looks at C-OLD and R2-PU, who are looking at some more dead Pests)
Froggo: They are after the droids! And if the Imperial troops find out where they sold to, (he gets a shocked look) that...must...be...
(The look remains as he quickly runs to his speeder. Thomas yells after him.)
Thomas: Froggo, don't! It's not worth it!
(Froggo didn't listen as he droves off in the speeder. Thomas sigh)
Thomas: He will have to learn the hard way, I supposed.
C-OLD: You say that when you are a good guy?!
Thomas: No, there is a chance that he will survived but at what cost, C-OLD? At what cost, old friend?
C-OLD: Heh?
Thomas: Never mind.
R2-PU: Goo peep beep whir.
(QC back to the homestead as Froggo arrives in the speeder. The homestead looks like the Imperial troopers have went there and wrecked the place. They are not there now, thank goodness. Froggo got out and start calling for his aunt and uncle.)
Froggo: Aunt Sally! Uncle Jim! Where are you? Aunt...gasp!
(He said the last part as he saw two things on the ground. Two dead corpses. Froggo took a guess who they are. Froggo's look turn from fear to hate. QC back to the 24 Hours star. We are now in the prison area of the battle station. Burrows is walking, followed by a couple of guards. Two stormtroopers open a cell and they went in. We see that Charity is in there, trapped. Burrows went up and spoke to her.)
Burrows: Now, it's time for us to tell us where you friends are.
(He moves aside as a small robot, that looks like one of Gene's small robo-spiders, who is carrying a small needle, that looks like one of the drugs Shelton used in "24 Days". Charity look at it in fear. We now look at a back of the guard as the door to the cell closed. Thanks goodness Lydia won't let us show that. Anyway, QC back to the destroyed crawler on Tatoonine. Thomas and the robots are burning the dead on a fire they made. Thomas stop what he is doing as Froggo return in the speeder. Froggo got out and went over to them, with a sad look on his face. Thomas understands what happens.)
Thomas: I'm sorry, Froggo. But there is nothing you can do.
Froggo: Nothing?
Thomas: Yes. But let's consider this. What would happen if R2-PU didn't go and find me? You would have been killed and the droids would have been captured by the Empire by now.
Froggo: I guess I could thank R2 for that.
C-OLD: (mumbling) Once I am done choking him, anyway.
R2-PU: Goo beep whir pah gooper?
C-OLD: Oh shut up.
Froggo: Thomas, I change my mind.
Thomas: About what?
Froggo: I am going with you to Alderran. With my aunt and uncle dead, and my home destroyed, there is nothing for me here. I know you always heard this, but I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like my father.
(Thomas smiles)
Thomas: Froggo, my boy. You just made the right choice. Come, we got no time to waste.
(QC to an activated speeder going across the desert. Froggo, Thomas, C-OLD, and R2-PU are in it going to their destination. We QC to it. It is a bluff overlooking a city that looks like Chicago. The foursome are there looking at it.)
Thomas: Mos Chicago Spaceport. You can't find psychos or scum anywhere. We better be careful.
Froggo: Why? The Empire might be here?
Thomas: No, we are going in without Life Insurance.
(QC to inside Mos Chicago itself. The speeder with the foursome in it, drives through it. As this happens, we see a bunch of things happen. A little proid droid, that looks like a monkey, is annoying another droid, that looks like an Aztec warrior. The Aztec droid got annoyed and slam the monkey droid to the ground. A biker nearly rans into a dinosaur with Pests riding it. The dinosuar rears back, startled and nearly thrown the two Pests off. We QC back to the speeder as it is stop by several stormtroopers. One speaks to them.)
Trooper #1: Excuse me, but how long do you have these robots?
Froggo: Five seasons?
Thomas: If you want to, you can buy them.
Trooper #1: You better let me see your ID.
(Froggo looks nervous, but Thomas looks confident as he waves his hand in front of Trooper #1.)
Thomas: You don't want to see his ID.
(The trooper looks like he is in a trance.)
Trooper #1: (in a trance) We don't want to see his ID.
Thomas: These robots aren't the ones you want anyway.
Trooper: (still in a trance) These robots aren't the ones we want anyway.
Thomas: We can go now.
Trooper: (still in a trance) You can go now.
(Satisfiated, Froggo drove off in the speeder. The first trooper came out of his trance confused. QC to where the speeder is now. Froggo has just parked a speeder in a parking zone. The parking zone is just in front of a bar with a sign marked "Doc's". These are creatures in the parking lot, doing some stuff. One Pest takes a look at the speeder. C-OLD looks annoyed)
C-OLD: Stupid creature! If some didn't kidnap just to sell me, I wouldn't have said that!
(Froggo got out and told the Pest to go away. Thomas got out as well as the droids. Froggo talk to Thomas)
Froggo: How did we got past those troopers? I thought we would be in serious trouble.
Thomas: You see, the Jedi can use the Force to control the weak-minded. Just don't do it too much, though.
Froggo: Wow. That must be useful to use.
Thomas: Right. Well come on.
(The foursome heads for "Doc's".)
Froggo: What makes you think we can find someone here?
Thomas: Simple. Anyone who's a pilot, bounty hunter, etc. can be here. Be careful, this place can be ugly.
Froggo: I will. Come on, you guys.
C-OLD: Come along, R2-PU. Don't know why I said that, but I did.
(The four go in, not noticing a sign that said "No droids". We QC to inside. It looks like the inside of the bar in the Animaniacs spoof. There are a bunch of creatures around minding their own business. The foursome has now come in. At first, they are annoyed at the sight, but got over to it and went in. Thomas went over to the empty place at the bar near some nasty people. Froggo and the droids woulda join him, but was stopped by the bartender, who looks like Doc Holiday.)
Bartender: Hey! We don't serve their kind here!
Froggo: Who, me? Look, I admit I am underage, but...
Bartender: Not you, your robots! Either make them wait outside or don't come in at all! We don't want them in here!
Froggo: Right. Uh, C-OLD do you mind?
C-OLD: We will wait outside, master Froggo. I don't like this place anyway.
(The droids left the bar. The creatures, who were annoyed at the droids' presence, went back to whatever they were doing. Froggo went up to the bar, nervous. Meanwhile, Thomas is talking to a creature that looks like Fetch in a Road Rovers version. They were talking and the dog nodded. While this is going on, Froggo tries to talk to the bartender who paids no attention to him. Another creature, who looks like Jackhammer as a walrus, angrily hits Froggo.)
Froggo: Ouch! Why did you do that for?!
Walrus: Because I feel like it, frog boy!
Froggo: Well, sorry!
(Froggo tries to ignore the walrus, but then he turned around by a weird human who looks like Jackhammer's partner Roughhouse.)
Froggo: Now what?
Human: My partner Jack Hammer doesn't like you.
Froggo: Look, I said I am sorry!
Human: Guess what? I don't like you either!
Jack Hammer: Darn right!
Human: You better not mess with us, kid!
Froggo: I won't.
Human: The name is Doctor RH and I am so evil, every system wants me dead!
Froggo: Fine. I won't bother you further.
Dr. RH: Oh, you won't...because you will be dead!
(Thomas came over to them.)
Thomas: Don't bother harming this kid. He isn't worth your time. Let me buy you a drink.
RH: Forget it, old man! I don't need help from you!
(Jack got nasty and pushes Froggo down. With that, RH took out his gun and aims it at Thomas)
Bartender: No blasters! Remember what happened last time, RH?!
(Before Jack can fire, Thomas quickly pulls out his lightsaber, turns it on, and cut off Jack's arm, causing him to scream in pain. Dr. RH and the now one-armed Jack quickly decided to back off. Thomas gave one of his "Trust me. Don't try anything looks, turns off his lightsaber, and put it away. Everyone return to whatever life they still have. Thomas then help Froggo up. The doggie Thomas was talking to came over tot hem.)
Thomas: You should be careful, Froggo.
Froggo: They started it!
Thomas: I don't care who starts it, I am going to finish it.
Froggo: Huh?
Thomas: Nevermind. Our friend Fetchbacca here has a friend, who is a first mate, who can flies up to Alderran.
(QC to outside the bar. C-OLD and R2-PU look worry as they see stormtroopers going into the bar.)
C-OLD: Oh great. Looks like trouble
R2-PU: Goo beep gah peep whir.
C-OLD: You're right. I think we better get the heck out of here before they see us. Come on.
(QC back into the bar. A band is singing a number. We however go to where Froggo, Thomas, and Fetchbacca sitting at a table. With them is a boy in Han Solo. He looks like someone we have the pleasure to know.)
Boy: HI! MY NAME IS LOUD SOLO, CAPTAIN OF THE HISTERIA! FALCON, AND IF I CAN'T GET YOU TO YOUR DESTINY, MY DOGGIE FETCHBACCA HERE WILL EAT A BUCKET OF CAMEL PLOP!
Fetchbacca: Say what?!
Loud: ANYWAY, FETCHIE HERE SAID YOU NEEDED SOMEONE TO TAKE YOU ALDERRAN.
Thomas: That is right. Is is a fast ship?
Loud: ARE YOU KIDDING?
Thomas: You don't think we want to go to Alderran?
Loud: NO, I MEAN IF I HAD A FAST SHIP. SURELY YOU HEARD OF THE HISTERIA! FALCON.
Thomas: Should I have? And don't call me Shirley.
Loud: IT IS ONE SHIP THAT AT LAST EVEN SOME OLD JUNK ON THE ROAD. HECK, EVEN I CAN OUTRUN THOSE STUPID IMPERIAL MORONS WHO IS RUINING PEOPLE'S LIVES.
Thomas: Maybe...
Loud: ANYWAY, WHAT IS YOUR CARGO?
Thoma: Just me, the boy, two robots, and no questions from anyone.
Loud: LET ME GUESS, YOU ARE IN TROUBLE?
Thomas: Let's just say we got Imperial troops who may be after us right now.
Loud: YEAH, WELL, I GOT A GRUDGE AGAINST THEM TOO, BUT I AM NOT GOING THERE.
Froggo: Good, let's not.
Loud: ANYWAY, THE COST OF YOU, THE BOY, AND THOSE ROBOTS ARE, LET'S SEE, INCLUDING TAX, $10,000 BUCKS.
Froggo: What?! Are you crazy?! That is chicken feed!
Fetchbacca: No, that is cash.
Froggo: (ignoring Fetchbacca) I can buy a ship of my own with that cash.
Loud: WHO IS GOING TO FLY IT? YOU?
Froggo: I am not bad myself! Come on, Thomas, we don't have to take his nonsense!
Thomas: Calm yourself, Froggo. Tell you what, Mr. Solo. We will pay you $2,000 now, and we pay you $15,000 more when we get to Alderran.
Loud: (normal voice) $17,000 bucks?
Thomas: That's correct.
(Loud thinks about it, and smiles)
Loud: Mister, you got yourself a ship. Okay, we are going as soon as you are ready to leave. I parked at parkling lot #1005. So don't be late.
Thomas: We won't be late. Thank you.
Loud: And I think you better leave now, a bunch of friends are looking for you now. Better take the back way out.
(Thomas and Froggo noticed that stormtroopers have arrived and are questioning the bartender who points in them. The troopers then go over to Loud's booth, but by then, Thomas and Froggo are gone. The troopers then leave Loud and Fetchbacca alone as they talk.)
Loud: Wow, $17,000! That's a good price!
Fetchbacca: Now you can pay off Julius the Caesar and we will finally be left alone from him and those bounty hunters he may be hiring!
Loud: You are right, Fetchie. We better get the Histeria! Falcon ready for the trip.
Fetchbacca: Okay, pal. (Pause) And you eat the Camel plop if we failed!
Loud: We will discuss this later.
Fetchbacca: Don't we won't.
(QC to outside. Froggo and Thomas are talking now.)
Thomas: We will have to sell your speeder if we are to pay that young pilot.
Froggo: I don't care. I never want to come back here again, except if a new friend of mine is in trouble.
(QC back inside the bar. Loud is about to leave, when he is stop and force to sit down again by an alien with a gun who sits across from him. He looks like Cassius but green and ugly looking.)
Alien: Where do you think you're going, cat?
Loud: Oh, hi Cassido. I am just going to see your boss Julius.
Cassido: Sorry, babe. The boss is totally angry, baby. You should have paid him when you got the chance. The big man himself have just put a bounty on your head.
Loud: Oh?
Cassido: A bounty I intended to get.
Loud: Oh. (Pause) Look, I got Julius's cash this time and I am going to get it to him ASAP.
Cassido: Why don't you give it to me? If you are lucky, I might spare you, cat.
Loud: Well, I don't have it with me at the moment, why don't you...
Cassido: I will not! Julius is pretty peeve at you this time, man. You should have never abandon your cargo when an Imperial ship was near.
Loud: GIVE ME A BREAK, WILLYA CASSIDO! I WAS BOARDED. THOSE PSYCHOS WILL HAVE ME KILL IF THEY KNEW WHAT I WAS CARRYING!
Cassido: Yelling won't save you this time, babe.
(Unknown to Cassido, Loud just got out a gun from his hoister and is pointing it at Cassido's pants. Cassido is talking, still unknowing this.)
Cassido: If you are lucky, Julius might consider taking your ship if I bring you to him alive.
Loud: Over my dead body, Cassido.
Cassido: That's the idea, babe. I been looking forward to this in a long time.
Loud: Guess what? You are about to wait longer...
(Out of nowhere, an explosion occured. When the smoke clears, Cassido is now in his seat...dead. Loud put away his gun, happy.)
Loud:...or not at all.
(Loud got up. The other aliens were looking at this stunned. Loud walk over to the bartender and gave him some cash.)
Loud: You might want to get some cleaning crew in here.
(Loud then left the bar. The bartender look at the now-dead Cassido in his seat.)
(QC back to outside space as more TIE fighters are flying around the 24 Hours star. QC inside the control room of the battle staion where Burrows and Shelton are talking.)
Burrows She still won't tell us, even when we use the needle.
Shelton: I told you to use the mind-control needle, but no! You want to do something better. Heh, that shows how you know.
(An officer comes up to Shelton)
Officer: Sir?
Shelton: What?
Officer: You will be happy to know that everything a go. The 24 Hours Star is on line and is ready for battle. What do you want us to do?
(Shelton thought of something, and smiles)
Shelton: Burrows, I believe we just solve our little problem of finding the rebels.
Burrows: How's that?
Shelton: You will see. and so will the princess once she sees what this baby can do. Officer, set the course to Alderran at once.
Officer: Yes sir.
(QC to a street in Mos Chicago on Tatoonie. The droids quickly look around and went into a house. C-OLD closes the door and locks it. Troopers appeared and are on a search for them. One troopers tries to open the door to the house the droids went into. Seeing that it is lock, he shrugged and continue his search. C-OLD open the door just a peek and look out. He sighs and talk to R2-PU)
C-OLD: This is stupid. I wish I went with Froggo instead of you.
R2-PU: Beep gah goop whir peep.
C-OLD: The same to you, kid!
(He closes the door once more. We now cut to where Thomas and Froggo has just sold the speeder to the owner. The owner look at the speeder proudly while the two walk away.)
Froggo: Whil ethey say my speeder is out of style, they did pay us for it.
Thomas: It will be enough for the trip we'll need.
(The two left the selling place and went down an alleyway. Unknown to them, however, someone in a cloak spotted them. He quietly followed them. QC to the parkling lot where the Histeria! Falcon is parked. It looks like a van then a usual ship, but I want to reference Spaceballs a little, so what do I know? A bunch of aliens are surrounding it. One of them is a big fat slob creature who looks like a fat Julius Caesar. He is Julius the Caesar)
Julius the Caesar: Hey, Solo! Come out here right now so we'll talk. (Pause) Okay, you cats can charge in and wreck it now.
Loud: (V/O) YOU WILL NOT DO ANYTHING, JULIUS!
(The aliens turned and see that Loud and Fetchbacca has arrived. They both don't look happy)
Fetchbacca: Yeah! You wreck it, you will have to pay for it! Or something in between.
Julius: Why don't you do me a favor and fetch? I want to talk to the boy.
Loud: WELL, YOU GOT ME. NOT LITERALLY.
(Loud goes over to Julius. The big Caesar is not happy.)
Julius: Kids, you are not making me happy. How come you didn't pay me yet? And why did you have to go and blast Cassido, cat, even though I don't mind that. In fact, I heard that he is planning to backstab me.
(Loud looks angry)
Loud: LOOK, JULIUS. IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME, GO AHEAD. DON'T GO SENTING ANY MORE OF YOUR CLOWNS!
Julius: Solo, I don't like the fact that uncool cats abandoned their cargo when an Imperial ship show sup. It is bad for business and you know it.
Loud: GIMME A BREAK, JULIUS! LIKE I TOLD CASSIDO BEFORE I WASTE HIM, I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE! THOSE IMPERIAL JERKS WOULDA KILL ME IF THEY KNEW WHAT I HAVE!
(While he talks, he went behind Julius and trapped on his tail. Julius yelped but not too much. Loud continues talking)
Loud: I AM GOING TO PAY YOU, JULIUS AND YOU WILL BE OUTTA MY HAIR! I GOT BRING SOME PEOPLE TO A PLANET AND I WILL GET THE MONEY YOU NEED!
Julius: Now that's more like it. For an extra %20...
Loud: 15% OR NO DEAL.
Julius: Okay, okay 15%. I will go now, but I must warn you, baby. If you don't pay me soon, well let's just say you won't like who you are going to meet in the future.
Loud: I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF YOU WENT AFTER ME YOURSELF!
(Julius ignored that and he left followed by the other aliens. Loud and Fetchbacca went inside the Histeria! Falcon. One person stay behind a bit. It is a man wearing bounty hunter clothes like Boba's.)
Julius: (V/O) Yo, cats, Come on! What am I paying you for?!
(The bounty hunter left, but while he does so, he speaks and he sounded like Nathan from "Another 24 Hours")
Bounty Hunter: You will messed up Solo, and when you do, Nathan Fett will be after you.
(QC to outside the parking lot. Froggo, Thomas, and the robots are going there, unknown that someone is following them.)
Thomas: This ship better be fast, or the whole galaxy is doom.
(Fetchbacca is at the entrance, greeting them.)
Fetchbacca: Hey pals. Glad you made it! I was beginning to think you will never get here.
Froggo: Yeah, yeah. Well let's see this ship your pal Loud was boasting about.
(They went inside. The person who was following Froggo's group stop at a doorway and sees them go in. He pulls out some sort of walkie talkie and speaks into it in a strange language. QC to inside the parking lot. Froggo's group and Fetchbacca has just came in. Froggo stop and stare at it.)
Froggo: That is the Histeria! Falcon? It looks like a van!
(Loud came out of the van out of a ramp from one of the van's doors.)
Loud: HEY, IT MAY BE A VAN, BUT IT IS A GOOD ONE!
C-OLD: Where did you get it?
Loud: WON IT IN A GAME WITH A FRIEND OF MINE WHO BROUGHT IT FROM SOME GUY WHO JUST GOTTEN MARRIED. DON'T KNOW WHY HE GAVE IT UP. IT IS PRETTY FAST FOR IT'S AGE.
(Fetchbacca got on the ramp and headed into the ship. He stop to speak to them.)
Fetchbacca: Hey guys! Anytime today!
Loud: FETCHBACCA IS RIGHT. WE GOT A SCHEDULE TO KEEP, SO GET YOUR BUMS IN THERE.
Froggo: (mumbling) Loudo.
(The group went by Loud into the ship. Inside the Histeria! Falcon, it is bigger than expected. It looks like a trailer than a van. It looks big as Emilio Estevez's home in "National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon". Fetchbacca went into the co-pilot seat (or the passenger seat in this case) and begin firing up the engine. Froggo looks around.)
Froggo: This is the inside? It looks bigger than it is outside!
Thomas: No time to criticize on someone's things, Froggo.
(C-OLD and R2-PU sat in their seats.)
C-OLD: Buckle up, R2.
R2-PU: Whir beep goo gah poo.
(QC back outside the parking lot. The person who was following Froggo's group spoke to the stormtroopers and pointed at the parking lot Froggo's group went into.)
Trooper: Are you sure you saw them go in?
(The creature nod)
Trooper: Okay, be sure to set your weapons to kill, men.
Trooper #2: Sez you.
Trooper: Shut up! Okay, let's go!
(The stormtroopers ran to the entrance of the parking lot. The stormtroopers ran in the parking lot.)
Trooper: Stop in the name of the law!
Trooper #2: Before you break my heart!
Trooper: Shut up!
(Loud saw them. He quickly grabs his gun and shoots at the troopers, killing some of them. He then quickly runs into the van as the troopers continue to shoot at him. QC to inside the Histeria! Falcon, as Loud press a button closing the door so the troopers wouldn't get in. He runs to cockpit area, yelling.)
Loud: FETCHIE, GET US THE HECK OUTTA HERE!!!
(The passengers buckle their seat belts so they won't go flying.)
C-OLD: (mumbling) I hate flying, I really do.
(Loud got into the driver's seat next to Fetchbacca and turns on the engine using a driver's key. QC to outside as the van lifts off. The troopers tries to hit it with their shots but they keep missing. The van heads into the sky and space. QC back inside the Histeria! Falcon. Loud is driving while Fetchbacca is pointing at something on the radar.)
Fetchbacca: Hey pal! Look!
(Loud saw what Fetchbacca is pointing on the radar.)
Loud: OH GREAT! A DESTROYER! OUR FRIENDS ARE POPULAR THAN I THOUGHT! TURN ON THE SHIELD, FETCHIE!
Fetchbacca: Why?
Loud: SO YOU CAN DISTRACT THEM LONG TIME FOR ME TO ACTIVATE THE HYPERDRIVE. DUH.
Fetchbacca: Oh.
(Sure enough, outside the van, a destroyer has appeared and it begins to fire at them. QC to inside the Histeria! Falcon. Froggo and Thomas got up and looks to see what their pilots are doing.)
Loud: THOSE IDIOTS ARE TRYING TO BLAST US!
Froggo: So why can't you outrun them? Or are you too scare to do it?
Loud: SHUT UP OR I WILL THROW YOU OVERBOARD! WE NEED TO HAVE ENOUGH ROOM SO I CAN ACTIVATE THE HYPERDRIVE THING.
Thomas: When will we go into light speed?
Loud: I NEED TO GO THE COORDINATES OF WHERE WE ARE GOING INTO THE COMPUTER, THEN WE WILL GO FROM THERE.
Froggo: Why not now?!
Loud: BECAUSE WE MIGHT CRASH INTO SOMETHING!
(A blast rocks the van.)
Loud: WE LOST OUR SHIELD! BUCKLE UP, YOU GUYS! I HAVE TO MAKE THE JUMP TO LIGHT SPEED!
(Thomas and Froggo went back to their seats and buckle up. Loud pushes some sort of sqitch, and the stars went straight line like in the real Star Wars and "Spaceballs". QC to space as the van got away like a speed of light.)
(QC to a planet as the 24 Hours Star approaches. It is obvious to us that it is the planet Alderran. We QC to inside the control room of the battle station. Shelton is in there staring at a metal wall. Konin came in.)
Konin: We are at the planet Alderran, Grand Moff Shelton.
Shelton: Good. Did you...
Konin: Yes. Burrows is coming in with the princess right now.
(As if on cue, Burrows came in with Charity, who is being watch by two troopers.)
Charity: Shelton. Well, well. I knew someone else is involved in this. But I never expected a psycho who is a robot-loving freak.
Shelton: Don't tempt me to kill you, princess. Not
right now, because you are only to be killed later.
Charity: I wouldn't be surprised if you wanted to kill me yourself.
Shelton: I will ignore that as I will say my next line. Before you are to be killed, I want a witness to this great event that will make the Emperor no longer someone who is going to be oppose by anyone.
Charity: Idiot say what?
Shelton: I am not falling for that one.
Charity: Okay. Fine. But if you want me to tell you where my friends are, the answer is never.
Shelton: Once you see what this station can do, you will have no choice but to give in to my demand. I will make an ultimatium for you.
Charity: What is it?
Shelton: I will and might not do the next horrible thing to you if you will tell me where your friends are hiding so we can destroy them with this weapon.
Charity: And if not....
Shelton: Let's just say, I got another perfect target in might for this weapon.
(He push a button. The metal wall disappear as we now see a window looking out into space. We can also see Alderran as well. Charity gasp.)
Charity: My homeworld?!
Shelton: That is correct, princess.
Charity: You can't do that! Alderran is a peaceful planet, they won't be able to defend themselves!
Shelton: If you want me to spare your puny planet, tell me your friends are right now!
Charity: Go to Heck, Shelton.
(Shelton moves menacingly toward Charity and grabbed her by the throat.)
Shelton: I am growing tired of this game, you little brat. How about I show you why I am not to be messed with. Konin...
Charity: No!
(Charity looks at her homeworld, sighs, and speaks to Shelton again.)
Charity: Dantoonie.
Shelton: Pardon?
Charity: They are on the planet Dantoonie.
(Shelton smiles and let go of Charity's throat.)
Shelton: You see, Burrows. Make threats and they will go along. (To Konin) You can destroy it now.
Charity: What?!
Shelton: We are going to destroy Alderran anyway, princess. Your father on that planet called our an emperor a crook and we can't allow that. Don't worry, we will get your friends...eventually.
(He laughs evilly. Charity looked at the planet Alderran in fear.)
Charity: No!
(We QC to the chamber into the 24 Hours Star. Some men are activiting some switches. A huge laser beam appeared out from some sort of hole in a wall. The beam then shoots out another hole leading into space, which we QC to. The beam hits the planet Alderran. The planet glows a bit...and then it explodes! The remains of the once peaceful planet fades into space.)
(QC back inside the Histeria! Falcon. Froggo is practicing his lightsaber skills against a robot. Thomas is looking on at this, until he sat down. He got a fainted look on his face. Froggo notices this and stop training.)
Froggo: What's wrong, Thomas?
Thomas: I felt a great disturbance in the Force... as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
Froggo: Okay, what does that mean?
Thomas: Something bad happens. I don't know. Forget about it for now. Just continuing training.
(Froggo smugs and does just that. Loud came in.)
Loud: Guess what, guys? We got away from those Imperial jerks. You can thank me later.
(He notices no one is paying attention to him. He growns.)
Loud: Or not. I don't care. We should be at Alderran in about a few minutes.
(We now see that C-OLD is watching Fetchbacca and R2-PU playing a game of chess. The chess players looks like WWF, WCW, ECW, etc. wrestlers. Fetchbacca looks happy with himself. That is, until R2-PU moves one of the chess pieces and that chess piece knock out one of Fetchbacca's. Fetchbacca got angry.)
Fetchbacca: You stupid piece of junk!
C-OLD: Hey! Don't yell at him. He made a fair move.
R2-PU: Beep goo gah whir.
Loud: I wouldn't upset him if I were you.
C-OLD: Why not? A droid never freaks out if he loses.
Loud: But droids don't tear out people's arms and use them a toothpick, now do they? Doggies can do that.
(Fetchbacca smiled at this. C-OLD looks worry.)
C-OLD: Okay. R2-PU, I think you better let the doggie win or we won't have time to get our arms outta his teeth.
R2-PU: Whir beep gah poo poo.
(Froggo is standing still in place, with his lightsaber on. He is not sure what to do. Thomas is looking on. So is Loud, although he looks bored.)
Thomas: The Force is flowing you as long as you can feel it.
Froggo: Can it?
Thomas: Yes.
(The robot, out of nowhere, shoots a laser beam. Froggo didn't have time to defend himself and the beam hits him in the leg. Froggo yelped, though Loud is laughing at this.)
Loud: (chuckling) Oh brother. Those sorcery whatchamacallit is dull. I can use a gun anyday.
(Froggo turns off his lightsaber and frowns at him.)
Froggo: You don't believe, do you?
Loud: Kid, I been going around this galaxy for who knows how long, and nothing excludes me. But I don't believe that some weirdo magic is in charge of my life. No siree. It's stupid, I tell you.
Froggo: So are you.
Thomas: Ignore him, Froggo. He doesn't understand so I don't blame him. Time to try something new.
(Thomas pick up a helmet nearby and puts it on Froggo's head. The problem is, the view is dirty so Froggo can't see.)
Thomas: Try this.
Froggo: I can't see wearing this ridiculous thing! How can I know when to block the robot's shots?!
Thomas: Don't trust your eyes. Use the Force. It can guide you.
(Froggo's training begins again. The robot begins moving toward Froggo again. Froggo tries to hit it, but he misses and that causes the robot to shoot another laser which hits him in the same place again. Loud couldn't help but laugh at this.)
Thomas: Stretch out with your feelings. I don't why, just do it.
(Froggo nodded and didn't move again. The robot uses this to try to shoot another laser at him. This time, he managed to block it. The robot decided to just stop moving. Froggo removes his helmet surprised.)
Thomas: Just keep doing that and you will be all right.
Loud: Yeah, yeah. Just lucky, that's all.
Thomas: Where I come from, there is no such thing as luck.
Loud: All the kid can do is defend against a robot. Can he defend against living things? That's a good question.
(A flashing light appears on the control panel. This made Loud to get up.)
Loud: Well, we are there.
(Loud and Fetchbacca went back to the cockpit.)
Froggo: When I did that, Thomas, I thought I could see the robot.
Thomas: Good, this means you are improving very well.
(QC to the conference room in the battle station. Shelton is sitting down in a chair at a table while Burrows is standing by. One officer, who looks like Benedict Arnold, spokes to them)
Shelton: What did you find?
Officer Benedict: Well, we got to that planet, sir. But unfortunately all we can find an abandoned base. We are right now searching any systems surrounding it.
(Shelton is angry now)
Shelton: Blast! That little witch tricks us!
Burrows: Obviously, destroying her planet was a waste of time.
Shelton: Well, this next move isn't! Have her killed at once!
(QC to inside the Histeria! Falcon.)
Loud: We are here. Time to get us out of light speed, Fetchbacca.
Fetchbacca: Okay, pal.
(Fetchbacca pulls a control pulling them out of light speeder. To their surprise, asteroids appear, hitting the van. They didn't do too much damage though.)
Loud: WHAT THE...?! WE RAN INTO A METEOR SHOWER! EITHER I PUT IN THE WRONG COORDINATES OR SOMETHING GOT TOTALLY MESSED UP!
(Thomas and Froggo appear in the cockpit area.)
Froggo: What is wrong now?
Loud: WE ARE AT THE RIGHT PLACE, BUT THE PLANET ITSELF IS GONE!
Froggo: How can that be?
Thomas: It appears what I felt early was right. The planet was destroyed by the Empire.
Loud: YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT? IT WOULD TAKE SOMETHING BIG TO WIPE OUT A PLANET LIKE THAT!
(A TIE fighter suddenly appear in the viewscreen, flying away from the radar.)
Fetchbacca: What the...?!
Froggo: A Imperial fighter! How did it managed to find us?!
Thomas: It wasn't on luck. It is a short-range fighter.
Loud: UNLESS WE GET RID OF IT, IT CAN REPORT US, AND WE ARE DEAD!
Fetchbacca: Do you want me to jam it's transmissions, pal?
Loud: HOW CAN YOU THINK ABOUT JAM AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!
Thomas: He meant interrupting it tranmission, and unfortunately, it's too far off for you to do that.
Loud: NOT FOR LONG!
(Outside the van, the van is following the TIE fighter. Inside the van, we see on a viewscreen that the fighter is going straight toward a star that is coming closer.)
Thomas: That fighter couldn't have gotten here on it's own or is it lost.
Froggo: Then how did it get here?
Loud: I don't know, but we better stop it before it reached that moon.
Froggo: What moon?
Loud: (pointing to the viewscreen) That moon.
(They and we see that the TIE fighter is heading toward something (the upcoming star) that looks like a moon. On closer look, however, Thomas saw what it is really it.)
Thomas: That is no moon. It is a space station.
Loud: YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT? IT IS TOO SMALL..
(However, the "moon" came a big closer and we now see that they are approaching the 24 Hours Star.)
Loud: On second thought, better get out of here. Fetchbacca, pull in reverse!
Fetchbacca: Yes sir.
(He tries to pull the van in reverse, but as we can see outside, the van and the fighter is headed straight toward the battle station. QC back to inside.)
Froggo: I have a bad feeling about this.
Thomas: Tell me something I didn't heard before.
Froggo: What? Oh nevermind. Why are we still going toward it?
Loud: WE ARE CAUGHT IN THEIR TRACTOR BEAM!
Froggo: You got to try, Loud.
Loud: THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO NOW, KID. WE WILL HAVE TO TURN OFF EVERYTHING. THEY WANT ME? THEY HAVE TO COME GET ME!!!
Fetchbacca: Boss, there got to be something we can do than fight them.
Thomas: Yes there is. Mr. Solo, do you got anything in this van that can...
(QC back outside as the Histeria! Falcon is being pulled into the battle station by the tractor beam. We now QC to the docking area into the battle station as the van was forced to park. A bunch of stormtroopers are there, preparing to attack if necessary. One officer spoke.)
Officer: Close all outboard shields!
Voice: (V/O) Huh?
Officer: I don't know what it means either but try to close it anyway.
(QC back to the conference room where Shelton pushes a button to respond to a buzz on his intercom.)
Shelton: (annoyed) Yes, what is it?
Voice: We have just captured a ship that just got into the Alderran system or what's left of it anyway. We discovered that it is the same ship that escaped our grasp on Tatoonie.
Shelton: It escaped your grasp?
Voice: Yes sir.
Shelton: Remind me to punish you later. I will sent Burrows over at once!
Voice: Yes sir!
(The voice stop speaking. Burrows speak now)
Burrows: Whoever is in that ship is maybe planning to return the plans to the princess!
Shelton: You may be right, Burrows. I will have to keep her alive, at least until her execution.
(QC back to the docking area as Burrows, followed by troopers and an officer arrives. Another officer goes up to him, worry.)
Officer: Bad news, sir.
Burrows: What is it now?!
Officer: We can't find anyone in there. The computer said the crew abandoned the ship after takeoff as some sort of April Fools Joke, though I don't know why since April Fools isn't here yet! We also can't find any escape pods, so my guess is they use them to get out.
Burrows: Any robots?
Officer: None sir. They probably got out too.
Burrows: They got to be still on board. Get a scanning crew here at once and check this ship. Tear it apart if you have to!
Officer: Yes sir!
(Burrows looks around in a strange look)
Officer: Sir?
Burrows: That's odd. I sensed something. Someone I hadn't sense...no, he couldn't be alive. Could he?
(Burrows left leaving an confused officer behind. He shook it off though.)
Officer: Get a scanning crew to check this ship at once!
(QC into the Histeria! Falcon. One trooper is going around a corner of the ship (is that possible?). He failed to noticed that two panels on the floor lifted up to reveal Froggo, Loud, and Thomas.)
Froggo: Good thing you got these...what do you think these for?
Loud: To smuggle things I am delivering. Duh.
Froggo: We better find a way out right now.
Loud: Hello? Anyone home? We can't do that! If we did, they will just use that tractor beam again!
Thomas: I will take care of that.
Loud: How did I know you are going to say that? Do you know how stupid that idea is?
Thomas: What is more stupid? My idea or the person who goes along with it?
Fetchbacca: (chuckles) He got you there, bad.
Loud: Shut up, dog boy!
(QC to the ramp of the ship. The troopers are senting in a scanning crew to check the ship.)
Trooper: Remember what the boss say. If you find anyone, report to us at once!
(The scanning crew went in as the troopers remain on guard. We heard a fighting offscreen, but the troopers didn't bother to check on it. We heard another voice that did get their attention.)
Loud: (V/O) HEY MISTER! WE NEED SOME HELP HERE!
Trooper: What the...?
(The trooper went in, followed by the other trooper. We heard more fighting once more. QC to the forward bay overlooking the docking bay. An officer notices that the troopers are gone, frowns, and talks into walkie talkie. He speaks like John Ratzenbeger.)
Officer; Hey, eh, where the heck are you? (Pause) Hey, eh, where are you and why aren't you on guard?
(He sees one trooper coming out of the van. He looks at him in the forward bay, seemingly confused)
Officer: Eh, is there a problem there?
(The trooper smugged and points to his ear. The officer frowns and spokes to another officer nearby.)
Officer: Take over willya? I got to take care of a bad hearing problem.
(The second officer nodded as the first officer went to the door. To his surprise, it opens to reveal Fetchbacca. The officer didn't have time to respond as the doggie knock the officer down hard, maybe killing him. The second officer notices and grabs his gun. Before he can use it, Loud came in wearing a stormtrooper uniform, and quickly shot the second officer, killing him. Thomas, the robots, and Froggo, also in a Stormtroopers gear, came in after him. Froggo removes his helmet and frowns.)
Froggo: You better hope no one hears that or I will let them kill you first.
Loud: I like to see them try, Frog boy!
Thomas: Never mind that, you two. C-OLD, did you find an output yet?
C-OLD: In matter of fact, we did.
(Thomas looked at the output the two found. He punches some buttons on it and look at the map that is shown. C-OLD and R2-PU looked at it too.)
Thomas: R2, can you help a bit?
R2-PU: Boo beep whir gee.
(R2-PU use his plug-in function to get some information out of the computer.)
R2-PU: Whir beep gee goo poo.
C-OLD: My little friend here said found the source of the tractor beam's control.
(The location appears on the computer.)
C-OLD: Let's see, there are seven reactors in seven locations on this ship. Perhaps if you deactived one of them, it might help us get ouf here.
(Thomas studies the data hard, and nodded.)
Thomas: Okay, look like this is something I got to do alone. The rest of you have to stay here.
(Thomas prepared to leave, but Froggo stop him.)
Froggo: Can't I come with you?
Thomas: You must stay here and keep the robots out of evil's hands.
Froggo: But, Thomas...
Thomas: Look, Froggo. If anything is to happen to them, other systems will be in danger just like Alderran. You got a different road than mine, Froggo. Don't waste it. and remember, The Force Will Be With You...Always.
(Froggo sighed and nodded.)
Froggo: Yes sir.
(Thomas smiled and left the room.)
Fetchbacca: What a nut.
Loud: That's what I would say. Me, I don't want to stay here. I want to kill someone! That old man is old and crazy.
Froggo: No, he isn't. He is great. Don't say that about him again.
Loud: Fine, whatever you say is fine with me.
Froggo: Well, do you got anything planned?
Loud: Not for a while.
R2-PU: Beep whir goo peep gooper poo!
C-OLD: No, she isn't! What are you talking about?
Froggo: What? Who is this 'she' R2-PU talking about, C-OLD?
C-OLD: The heck I know. He said he found her and she is indeed here.
Froggo: Who?
C-OLD: Princess Charity.
Froggo: The princess?! Here?!
Loud: Wait, what princess?!
Froggo: Where are they holding her?
C-OLD: In a prison area marked #23.
R2-PU: Gah whir beep goo goo!
C-OLD: Uh oh.
Froggo: What?
C-OLD: R2 here said that she is going to be executed.
Froggo: What?! We can't left them to do that!
Loud: What is this all about, Froggo?
Froggo: The droid belongs to her. Now I know who she is. She must be the girl in the message. We must save her!
Loud: Hold on, Frog boy! Last thing I want is to wonder into a prison area! Besides, the old man told us to stay here.
Froggo: He may not know she is here! If we don't save her, they are going to kill her!
Loud: So?
Froggo: You don't want to stay here, remember?
Loud: That is until I found out about this! Forget about it, me and Fetchie are staying here!
(Froggo .ooks angry, but then smiled as if he got a plan.)
Froggo: She is rich.
Fetchbacca: Heh?
(This, however, interested Loud.)
Loud: Rich, huh?
Froggo: That is right! And maybe, if you are the one who help save her, you might get a reward for all your trouble.
Loud: Even money?
Froggo: Heck, you can even ask for a planet if you like!
(Loud thought for a minute.)
Loud: Okay. I will do it. You better be right about this.
Froggo: I am, Loud, I am.
Loud: So what's the plan? We got to have one before trying something stupid.
(Froggo thought for a moment, see a pair of handcuffs nearby, and took it and went over to Fetchbacca.)
Froggo: Okay, if we can put these on...
(Fetchbacca pushed him away.)
Fetchbacca: Forget it, pal! I am no tamed dog!
Loud: He can only listen to me, kid.
Froggo: Then you put them on then.
(Froggo hands the cuffs to Loud. Loud then puts the cuff on Fetchbacca's wrists.)
Fetchbacca: Hey pal. You sure this would work?
Loud: Don't worry. If we get out of this, it will well be worth it.
Froggo: Okay, let's go! C-OLD, R2-PU, you two stay here.
(The three prepared to leave. C-OLD calls after them.)
C-OLD: Can I ask a question? What is going to happen if those troopers know we are here?
Froggo: Just lock the door.
Loud: AND HOPE THOSE SCUM DON'T HAVE LASER GUNS!
(Loud and Froggo put their helmets back on and left with Fetchbacca in tow. C-OLD looked nervous at this.)
(We now cut to the hallway as Loud and Froggo are pretending to be stormtroopers bringing in Fetchbacca. None of the other stormtroopers gave them attention. They arrived at an elevator and they open it. As they enter, Froggo makes a complaint.)
Froggo: I can't see squat through this helmet!
(QC to another hallway that some stormtroopers went down. While their backs was turned, Thomas went behind them and go the opposite way. None of them think to turn around. QC back to the elevator. Loud spoke to Froggo as the elevator continues up.)
Loud: This plan is stupid.
Froggo: Why didn't you say so earlier?
Loud: I did! You just didn't hear me.
(The elevator opens and the three got out. QC to the prison area. An officer, sitting in a desk, and three troopers that are there on guard. They just noticed the three and the officer stands up.)
Officer: Excuse me, what is that and where are you taking it?
Froggo: We, uh, are transferring it here.
Officer: Why didn't I hear of this sooner?
Loud: Someone forgot?
Officer: I am going to see some badges if you are to transerred it here.
Loud: Badges?! We ain't need no stinkin' badges!
Officer: Huh?
Loud: Sorry. I always wanted to say that.
(The officer smugged and tries to punch in some information in the computer. Loud, unnoticed by anyone, removes Fetchbacca's cuffs.)
Loud: (whispers) Now!
(Fetchbacca quickly screams and grabs Loud's gun.)
Loud: WATCH OUT! HE'S LOOSE!
Froggo: Someone stop him!
(The guards look confused. Loud and Froggo grabbed their guns (Loud got an extra) and "tries to shoot" Fetchbacca. They miss, but managed to hit cameras, some laser gates, and the guards doing so. Before the officer can hit the alarm, he is hit too and was kill. Loud went to the intercom thing which is buzzing. He took a look at the computer, doing so.)
Loud: OKAY, FROGGO. IT SAYS THAT THE PRINCESS IS IN CELL 12! I WILL HOLD THE FORT HERE WHILE YOU GO GET HER!
Froggo: Right!
(Froggo then runs down the prison area. Loud answer the intercom.)
Voice from intercom: What is going on up there?
Loud: Uh, nothing. We just have a weapon problem, nothing to worry about. We are all fine here.
Voice: Well, I am going to sent up some people to help you out.
Loud: Didn't you hear me? Everything's fine! Well, except for a gas leak up here.
Voice: What do you mean? Who the heck is this?!
Loud: Uh...
(Loud quickly shot the intercom with his gun, destroying it.)
Loud: That was pointless. (To Froggo still running down the prison area.) HURRY UP, FROGGO! WE ARE GOING TO BE IN BIG TROUBLE HERE!!!
Froggo: Okay!
(Froggo stop in front of the cell he is looking for. He eventually shot at it with his gun. A hole was made to reveal the inside of the cell. Charity was sleeping until the blast was made and she is now staring at him. Froggo looks dumbstrucked at her beauty. Note: I know this is going to be a reference to the Loud/Froggo/Charity triangle but I am the one making the story here!)
Charity: Aren't you young to be a trooper?
Froggo: Huh? Oh!
(Froggo removes his helmet)
Froggo: My name is Froggo Skywalker and I came to saved you!
Charity: What?
Froggo: Your R2 unit is here, including Frog-Go Kenobi.
Charity: Frog-Go Kenobi?!
(She got up.)
Charity: Where is he?
Froggo: Come with me! Hurry, before the bad guys get here!
(QC back to the conference room as Shelton is sitting at a desk while Burrows is pacing furiously.)
Shelton: Hold on, are you saying that Frog-Go Kenobi is here? On the 24 Hours Star?
(Burrows stop pacing)
Burrows: Indeed he is. I felt him with the Force. The last time it happened when I stood in front of my master and your emperor.
Shelton: Surely he got have died by now.
Burrows: Don't underestimate the power of the Force. And also, don't call me Shirley!
Shelton: Okay, fine.
(A buzz came on the intercom. An annoyed Shelton answered it.)
Shelton: Oh, what is it now?!
Voice: Sir, there is trouble in the prison area.
Shelton: Either the troopers are messing around again, or someone must be trying to save the little brat! Go after whoever there at all costs!
Voice: Again yes sir!
(The voice broke off.)
Burrows: I knew it. Frog-Go is indeed here. Why else did that happened?
Shelton: If this is true, Burrows, the old Jedi will not get away alive!
Burrows: Don't be stupid, Shelton. Frog-Go has no intentions on escaping. I shall face him alone, and maybe for the last time.
(Burrows left, leaving a thoughtful Shelton behind. QC back to the prison area. They hear a different buzzing sound which means someone is coming up in the elevator.)
Loud: RUN FOR IT, FETCHIE!
Fetchbacca: You don't have to tell me twice!
(The two ran down to hide in the prison area, while a trooper blast the door open. Two men, in their underwear, points to Loud.)
Man #1: Stop him! That is one of the guys who stole our uniforms!
Man #2: And kick the crap out of us too!
(Loud took this distraction to shoot at them and quickly hides behind a part of the prison area when the troopers start shooting again. Fetchbacca is behind him. A shootout between Loud and the troopers occured. Froggo arrived with Charity behind him, hiding also behind a part of the prison area to avoid being hit.)
Loud: GREAT, WE ARE TRAPPED!
Charity: Well, maybe if you didn't act so bull-headed, we will have gotten out by now.
Loud: HEY, IF YOU WANT TO BE IN YOUR CELL THAN BE HERE, BE MY GUEST!!!
Charity: What a grump.
Loud: HEY! THAT IS MY LINE!
(Froggo took this time to get out his talkie and talked to C-OLD at the other end while he and Loud continued shooting at the troopers.)
C-OLD: (V/O) Yeah?
Froggo: We are in trouble! We got caught off from the elevator! Is there another way out?!
(QC back to the forward bay where C-OLD and R2-PU are at. The door to the bay is closed so no one can come in.)
C-OLD: Bad news, chief. The troopers are after you and they blocked out the only way out. We can't find anything else because we aren't permitted to the info.
Trooper: (V/O) Open up!
C-OLD: Huh?
(We now see that someone outside is knocking on the door angrily.)
Trooper: (V/O) Open up or we will blast our way in!
C-OLD: Oh crud.
(QC back to the prison area as the shooting continues.)
Froggo: Great.
Loud: WHAT?
Froggo: C-OLD told me there is no any other way out.
Loud: WELL, WE CAN'T BE LIKE THIS FOREVER!
Charity: Some rescue this turn out to be. Didn't you two think of finding a way out?
Loud: (points to Froggo) IT WAS HIS IDEA TO COME HERE!
Froggo: (embarrassed) Well, uh...
Charity: Never mind. I will fix this!
(Charity grabs Froggo's gun and shot at a wall behind Loud and Fetchbacca. Loud notices this.)
Loud: WHY DID YOU DO THAT FOR?
Charity: It's either that or this!
Loud: GOOD POINT. HEY!
(He said the last part as Charity jumps into the hole. Fetchbacca nearly goes in, when he smells something.)
Fetchbacca: No way I am going in there! It stinks!
Loud: GET IN THERE, YOU FURRBALL! I DON'T CARE HOW YOU SMELL!
(He kicked Fetchbacca, knocking him in the hole. He turns to Froggo.)
Loud: GOOD GIRL. IF I DIDN'T WANT TO KILL HER, I MAY WANT TO KISS HER.
Froggo: Right, whatever you say.
Loud: WELL, GET IN THERE!
(Froggo quickly runs to the hole, avoiding enemy fire. Loud then followed in pursue but not before shooting at more troopers so the smoke that happens can't stop him from going in.)
(We QC to where they fell in. It looks like a trash compactor. Loud is the last to fall in and he got up frowning. Froggo is already looking for a way out.)
Loud: A TRASH HEAP?! YOU CALL THIS GETTING AWAY?!
Charity: At least it is better than getting shot at!
Loud: Well, let me try to shoot at something so we can get out of here!
Froggo: Wait!
(Too late as Loud got his gun and fired at a wall. The blast however bounces off the wall nearly hitting them. It explodes near the top of the room. This caused Charity to be even more annoyed.)
Loud: WHAT HAPPENED?!
Froggo: I already try doing that! This room is like metal or something.
Charity: Why don't you just think for once instead of jumping in?
Loud: EVERYTHING WAS FINE UNTIL YOU DECIDED ON BRINGING US DOWN HERE!!!!!!
Charity: You call getting yourself almost caught and blast at fine?
Loud: Well, at least things couldn't get...
(Before he can finish, they heard a growl offscreen.)
Fetchbacca: What...what is that?
(Fetchbacca backed near a wall, scared.)
Froggo: A doggie? Scared?
Loud: I stand corrected. Something is in here!
(They drawn their weapons, preparing to fire if necessary. Froggo yelped)
Froggo: Something touch my leg!
Loud: It is probably garbage.
Charity: Good enough for you.
Loud: Shut Up!
(Suddenly, a tentacle grabs Froggo and pulls in under.)
Loud: FROGGO!
(Froggo then comes up, with a tentacle around him. It looks like he can barely breath.)
Charity: Someone help him! And since you are the brave him here, that sadly goes to you.
Loud: You need to help too!
(Charity grabs a metal pipe nearby and held it to Froggo.)
Charity: Froggo, grab this or you will died!
(Froggo struggles to grab the pipe, but with the tentacle still around him, it is difficult to do so.)
Froggo: Get it, Loud!
Loud: I AM GOING TO!
(Loud shoots in the water, however, Froggo is once more pulled back in.)
Loud: FROGGO!
Charity: See what you...
(Before she can finished insulting him, there is another noise heard offscreen. Everything went silence. Loud, Charity, and Fetchbacca got a nervous look on their face.)
Fetchbacca: Something happened.
(Suddenly, Froggo reappears, gasping for air. The tentacle is no longer around him.)
Charity: Froggo! Thank goodness! Where is that thing?!
Froggo: I don't know! It let go of me when we both heard a big noise like...
Loud: There is a good reason. I got a bad feeling about this.
Froggo: Hey, that is my line!
(Another noise and they noticed that the walls are getting closer.)
Froggo: Oh great! The walls are closing in!
Charity: Quick! Block it with something!
(Everyone tries using poles, beams, etc. to stop the walls, but it proves useless as the walls continued to close in on them.)
Loud: WE ARE DOOMED!
Froggo: That is something C-OLD...(realized) Of course, C-OLD!
(He pulls out his walkie talkie and speak into it.)
Froggo: C-OLD? Are you there? We need your help!
(However, we QC back to the forward bay as we see that C-OLD and R2-PU are no where in sight. Froggo's voice is calling out of the talkie. It is resting on top of a console. The door to the forward bay blasts open and troopers came in. They noticed the dead officers. They failed to hear Froggo's voice on the walkie talkie.)
Trooper: Someone get these guys to the morgue! Check to see if someone else is in here!
(Another trooper goes to the cabinet and opens it. C-OLD is in there with R2-PU)
C-OLD: Quick! You got to stop them!
Trooper #2: Who?
C-OLD: A bunch of psychos who went amuck in here and are heading toward the prisona area! If you hurry, you can get and punish them!
Trooper #1: Okay, you (points to Trooper #3) stay here and watch over the place. The rest of you, come with me!
(The other troopers left, leaving Trooper #3 on guard. Satifisated, C-OLD got out of the cabinet with R2-PU and took his talkie. He turn to R2-PU)
C-OLD: Let's go.
R2-PU: Boo beep whir goo goo.
(The two droids were then blocked by the trooper.)
Trooper #3: Where do you think you're going?
C-OLD: My friend here needs a despair oil change.
(The trooper sniffs the air and sound disgusted)
Trooper #3: Ugh! You are right! Get him out of here!
(C-OLD nod and left the room with R2-PU. QC back to the trash area. The room is getting smaller as the walls are closing in. Froggo is still trying to speak to C-OLD on the talkie.)
Froggo: C-OLD?! Where the heck is he?
(Meanwhile, Loud and Charity are trying to stop the walls with a pole, but it proves useless.)
Charity: I am not happy.
Loud: NEITHER AM I!
Froggo: C-OLD! Where are you?!
(QC to the main forward bay across the docking area. C-OLD has noticed that some guards are guarding the place. He frowns.)
C-OLD: Where are they? They should be here by now! R2, check to see if they are captured, which I hopefully now.
R2-PU: Goo gah peep whir.
(R2-PU uses his function to lock in on a computer once again. QC back to the trash area again. The room is still getting smallr. Loud and Charity hold onto each other. The princess is scared.)
Loud: Great. We are going to get thinner. Better than an exercise, heh?
(QC back to the main forward bay. R2-PU had concerned that the four hasn't been captured.)
C-OLD: Thanks goodness they are safe. But where are they?
R2-PU: Beep whir goo poo.
C-OLD: Use my talkie? Uh oh. Forgot.
R2-PU: (sighs) Beep goo poopie poo.
(He then activates his walkie talkie and speak into it.)
C-OLD: Master Froggo? Where are you?
(QC back to the trash area. The foursome looks like they are about to die, when Froggo heard C-OLD's voice on the walkie talkie. He speaks into it now.)
Froggo: C-OLD? Is that you? Where the heck have you been?!
(QC back to the main forward bay.)
C-OLD: We ran into some problems...
Froggo: (V/O) Forget about those problems! Listen, you got to tell R2-PU to turn off all the trash mashers in the prison area!
C-OLD: All of them?
(QC back to the trash area.)
Froggo: Yes! Hurry!!!
(QC back to the main forward bay.)
C-OLD: Quick, R2-PU! Turn off all the trash masher in the whole battle station! Hurry!
(R2-PU is doing just that. Just then, we heard some screaming and hollering from the talkie. C-OLD groans.)
C-OLD: Oh great, they are dead and it is all my fault! I might have well melt myself down if I can't...
Froggo: (V/O) You two did it!
C-OLD: Heh? Master Froggo, is that you?
Froggo: (V/O) No, it is Nathan Ruegger. Of course, it is me!
(QC back to the trash area. The walls have indeed stopped. The foursome cheer. Loud and Charity embrace, but stop when they saw what they were doing and let go of each other.)
Fetchbacca: Hurray for that droid! Now I don't have to see Doggie Heaven early!
Froggo: (to talkie) You hear that? We are fine! Now unlock the door that is in this dump! Where the heck are we?!
Loud: Trasher 123.
Charity: 123?
Loud: Yep.
Charity: Amazing. I got the same code for my luggage.
(QC to a power generator somewhere in the battle station. It is huge and powerful to control the tractor team. Thomas arrived and begins to walk on the ledge surrounding the generator carefully. He got to a control panel and made an adjustments. The lights on the panel goes from red to blue. QC to a hallway where our heroes had gotten out of the trash area. Loud and Froggo had gotten out of the trooper uniforms they were wearing back into their original clothes.)
Loud: Not if you don't mind, princess, I want outta here.
Froggo: Let's go then.
Fetchbacca: (looking at the hatc) Holy cow!
Loud: What is it, Fetchie?
(Fetchie runs away from them. Loud saw what Fetchbacc saw. The creature that grabbed Froggo earlier reappeared in the trash area shown in the doorway and he tries to grab his gun. Loud pulls out his gun.)
Charity: Don't!
(Loud shot the creature anyway, making it go away. Froggo shook his head in annoyance.)
Loud: That's taken care of. Now come back here, Fetchie.
Fetchbacca: No way! That thing might come back!
Loud: Don't be stupid, Fetchie.
Charity: You're the one who's stupid, whoever you are. Do me a favor and listen to me from now on!
(As they walk down the hall, Loud yell at Charity.)
Loud: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! I ONLY TAKE ORDERS FROM ME, AND ME ALONE!
Charity: And you still lived?
Lou: WELL, YEAH!
Charity: Whatever. Hey, doggie, get out of my way, willya?
Fetchbacca: Yes madam!
(Loud frowns and turns to Froggo)
Loud: This isn't worth anything, kid.
(Froggo chuckles. QC back to the power generator place. A door opens and an officer and several soldiers came out. Thomas managles to hide in time.)
Officer: Listen up, until the alarm goes down, watch this area at all costs.
(The officer left, followed by the soldiers but two.)
Trooper: What's that all about?
Trooper #2: Must be another drill. It sometimes happen.
(Thomas got out of hiding, while the troopers are talking to each other. Using the Force, he made them think they heard a noise.)
Trooper #1: And...(noise made) Hey! What's that?!
Trooper #2: It probably nothing. This is the 24 Hours Star. Stuff like this always happen.
(While they were looking, Thomas slip out of the hiding and left the room.)
Trooper #1: So, anyway, who do you like in The Big Game?
Trooper #2: Dude, this ship is Big Game.
(QC to a hallway that the foursome walk down of. They stop at a window overlooking the docking area where the Histeria! Falcon is parked. The troopers are still there guarding the place. Froggo took out his walkie talkie.)
Froggo: C-OLD? Are you there?
C-OLD: (V/O) Yes sir. We are in a hangar nearby the ship.
Froggo: Okay, stay there until we get inside the dockin area, okay?
C-OLD: (V/O) Yes sir.
(Charity looks at the ship and looks surprised.)
Charity: That is your ship? You are braver than you look.
Loud: Really?
Charity: No, that was sarcastion.
Loud: OH, FORGET IT. COME ON!
(The foursome ran down the hallway. Unfortunately, as they came around a corner, they ran into 20 or more stormtroopers.)
Trooper #1: Hey! It's the intruders! Stop!
(Loud grabs his gun and shoot it, hitting one of the troopers. Loud charges at them, and the troopers were suddenly forced to flee. Fetchbacca followed his friend down the hall.)
Froggo: Where are you going?! Come back!
Loud: (V/O) NEVER MIND THAT! JUST GET TO THE SHIP!
(Loud's voice disappears. Charity shook her head.)
Charity: Is your friend always like this?
Froggo: I wouldn't call him friend since this is the first time I seen him like this. We better go!
(Loud and Charity ran down a hall leading toward the docking area as alarms goes off all around. We now QC to see Loud and Fetchbacca still chasing the troopers. They catch up to them...when they saw more troopers in waiting. Loud and Fetchbacca stop moving.)
Loud: UH OH.
Fetchbacca: We better run, boss!
(The troopers began to fired and the two ran the opposite way. QC to where Froggo and Charity is running away from more troopers. They stop near a bridge, that is unfortunately not a bridge at the moment. Froggo nearly fell in, but Charity grabbed him just in time.)
Froggo: Oh, this is good.
(The troopers that are chasing them shot at them. Froggo shot back as Charity found a control panel that closes the door. Unfortunately, it left them stranded on a ledge. We hear laser blasts offscreen.)
Charity: I can't find a lock!
(Froggo shot at the control panel, making it no longer in use.)
Froggo: That would hold them, I hope.
Charity: Thanks, but where is the control that activates the bridge?
Froggo: (embarrassed) Oops. I think I took care of that too.
Charity: Can you do anything?
(Froggo found something on his stormtroopers belt he kept after he removes his disguise. However, he is interrupted when a laser blast nearly hits him. They see that two more troopers are on a bridge above the door they needed to go into.)
Froggo: Blast! Charity, can you handle those two while I prepared the rope?
Charity: Certainly.
(Charity grabs a gun and shoot at the troopers while Froggo get a rope-like cable out of his belt. Charity manages to get some shots in. When the coast is clear, Froggo swings his cable and throws it. It catchs some pipes. Charity seeing what she need to do, grabs Froggo, and then kisses him on the cheek. Note: I know, but this is what happened in the movie.)
Charity: Good luck!
(The two swings on the cable and landed on the other side. They quickly ran in the door as the door they closed before is open by the troopers on the other side. They were gone before the troopers managed to hit them with their blasts.)
The jedi battle of all time (at least, int his episode)
January 9 2003, 7:23 PM
(QC to where Thomas is hiding from troopers. When they are gone, we went through the opposite direction. QC to the main forward bay. C-OLD is looking at the docking area, hoping the others had gotten there.)
C-OLD: Where on this battle station are they? They are supposed to be here by now!
R2-PU: Whir goo gee beep beep.
(QC in a hallway as Loud and Fetchbacca are still being chased by stormtroopers.)
Trooper: Close the blast doors before they get away!
(The blast doors near the end of the hall begin to close, but the two managed to shoot at some troopers and get through the blast doors before they close.)
Trooper: Open the blast doors, dang it!
Trooper #2: Who did the Empire hired anyway?!
(QC to a hallway leading to the main forward bay. Thomas is running down it until he stops when he sees someone. The being he knows as Darth Burrows appears and block his way out. He turns on his lightsaber. So did Thomas. Thomas approached the Sith.)
Burrows: So we meet again, Frog-Go Kenobi. The circle of life, and who knows what else is complete.
(The two began their lightsaber duel, though no one got hurt yet.)
Burrows: You may think of me as a student then, but now I am the master!
Thomas: Only the master of evil, Burrows.
(The two dueled for a few minutes that I can't explained it. But what I will say that Thomas is getting tired.)
Burrows: You are weak and pathletic, you fool. You shouldn't, in a billion years, have come back.
Thomas: Maybe so, but if I have to died to make sure you will never stop the only thing that can save this galaxy, so be it.
Burrows: What are you talking about?
Thomas: Later.
(The two dueled once again. A few strikes, stokes, etc. Just pretend this is an reenactment of the Darth Vader vs. Obi-Wan Kenboi battle in Episode IV, okay?)
Burrows: Didn't you hear me, or have being old destroyed your hurting?! Your powers are pathletic!
Thomas: There is one thing I will say that isn't pathletic. You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
Burrows: Blow it our your hole, "master".
(QC to the main forward bay. Loud and Fetchbacca are there looking out in the docking bay. They have their weapons ready just in case.)
Loud: Great, got away from more bums, and ran into some more.
Fetchbacca: Maybe you could sell them some stuff.
Loud: Sell to the Empire?! No way!
(Froggo and Charity appeared.)
Loud: About time you two made it! Where have you two been?!
Charity: We just ran into some idiots, and I don't mean you.
Loud: Okay, that is...hey!
Froggo: Never mind that. What is going on?
Loud: The ship is okay, but those stupid guards are still guarding it. I hope that old friend of yours disable the tractor beam.
Froggo: I hope so too.
(We then see Thomas and Burrows lightsaber duel in a hallway nearby the docking area. The troopers noticed this and decided to take a closer look.)
Fetchbacca: Hey, where are they going?
Loud: Who cares? Let's go already.
(The foursome left quietly from the main forward bay. We QC to where C-OLD and R2-PU are hiding. They too noticed that the guards are leaving.)
C-OLD: About time! Let's go, R2.
R2-PU: Goo beep whir gah poo.
(The two left their hiding place and went to the ship. The foursome (Loud, Charity, Froggo, and Fetchbacca) went over to the ship also. But Froggo stop when he noticed that Thomas is fighting Burrows.)
Froggo: Thomas? What is he doing?
(While he stop and stared, Loud, Charity, Fetchbacca, and the robots went into the ship. The two (Burrows and Thomas) stop dueling for a minute. Thomas noticed that some troopers are watching the battle, preparing to fire if necessary, and then he sees Froggo, and knew what he must do. He then turns off his lightsaber as if defeated. Taking advantage of this, Burrows swings his lightsaber on Thomas...and the old Jedi disappear! Only his robe fell to the ground. Froggo yells in shock.)
Froggo: No!
(The troopers turned around, sees him, and fired at him. Froggo, still shocked, angrily returns fire.)
Loud: (V/O in the ship) HEY, KID! THIS IS NO TIME TO PLAY AROUND, LET'S GO!
Froggo: But they...
Loud: (V/O) THEN TRY BLASTING THE DOOR FOR ALL I CARE!
(Froggo did that and the doors closed, preventing Burrows from getting out when he saw him. Some troopers died but some keep appearing and shooting at Froggo. Froggo then hear a voice.)
Thomas: (V/O) There is no time, Froggo! You must flee!
(Froggo is confused, but decided to obey the voice and quickly ran into the van, avoiding enemy fire doing so.)
(QC back into the Histeria! Falcon as Loud went into his driver seat, with Fetchbacca sitting next to him. They both started up the Histeria! Falcon.)
Loud: I HOPE THAT OLD FRIEND OF FROGGO DISABLED THE TRACTOR BEAM, OR WE ARE ALL MESSED UP!
Fetchbacca: I agreed!
(Outside the van, the van lifted off and went through the opening of the battle station. Any shots by the troopers failed to make it stop. QC to a few seconds later in the ship as in central hold area, Froggo is saddened over the death of his old friend. Charity is sitting next to him to comfort him. QC back to the cockpit as Fetchbacca saw something on the radar.)
Fetchbacca: Uh, Loud. You might want to take a look at this.
(Loud saw what's on the radar too.)
Loud: GREAT. SOME TIE FIGHTERS ARE CHASING US! TAKE CONTROL WHILE ME AND FROGGO TAKE CARE OF THEM, OKAY?
Fetchbaca: Right boss!
(QC back to the central hold area. Froggo is still sad.)
Froggo: I can't believe he is dead. I should have done something.
Charity: Froggo, there is nothing you can do for him. He did a noble sacrifice for us, and I don't think he wants you to waste it.
R2-PU: Whir goo pee beep.
Froggo: I know, but...
(Loud came in, interrupting Froggo.)
Loud: BAD NEWS, GUYS!
Froggo: What?
Loud: A BUNCH OF TIE FIGHTERS ARE AFTER US! WE BETTER GET TO THE GUNPORT!
Froggo: Gunport? You got a gunport?
Loud: JUST FOLLOWED MY LEAD AND WE WILL SURVIVED THIS.
(Froggo got up and followed Loud out. Charity got up and went to the driving area. We QC to the gunports somewhere in the ship. Loud and Froggo got in different ones. Froggo is amazed.)
Froggo: Wow! I didn't know your van was big enough to hold these!
Loud: LIKE YOU MENTION EARLIER, THIS VAN IS BIGGER INSIDE THAN IT IS OUTSIDE. JUST BE CAREFUL, WILLYA?
Froggo: Okay, Loud.
(QC to the cockpit where Fetchbacca and Charity are at. They search for the enemy fighters. Fetchbacca manages to keep control of the ship as some blasts hit the ship. QC to the gunport as both Froggo and Loud get their big guns ready to fight. QC back to the cockpit.)
Fetchbacca: Hey, look princess!
Charity: Here they come!
(Sure enough, outside the ship, the TIE fighters are approaching the ship and come out shooting. QC to the hold area where C-OLD and R2-PU are at. C-OLD is sitting down, next to R2-PU. The blasts that hit the ship is shaking the room.)
C-OLD: Ugh, I think I am getting sick.
R2-PU: Gee whir beep goo.
C-OLD: I am too!
(Back to the gunports, Loud is firing at a TIE fighter, who keeps getting out of the way of his shots. Froggo did the same thing, but the fighter he is chasing keeps escaping his shots as well. The fighters aren't being hit because...)
Froggo: They are coming in too fast!
(I was going to say that. Anyway, outside the ship, the TIE fighter shot more laser blasts at the ship. Back at the cockpit, the two felt the ship being hit by the blasts.)
Fetchbacca: I hope they don't hit our shields!
Charity: You should worry with the insane pilot you got.
(Meanwhile, 2 more fighters fire at the ship. In a passageway of the ship, C-OLD and R2-PU tries to walk down it. The blast by one of the fighters rocks the ship and knock C-OLD in a cabinet full of microships.)
C-OLD: Ouch!
R2-PU: Goo hee hee hee whir.
C-OLD: Not funny!
(Back in the cockpit, Charity reads some paper coming out of the computer.)
Charity: Bad news! We lost some sort of function I don't know what it is!
(QC back to Loud at his gun.)
Loud: RELAX, THIS SHIP BEEN THROUGH WORSE. SHE CAN HOLD UP.
(Another blast hits the van.)
Loud: At least, I hope so.
(Meanwhile, a fire has formed, but fortunately, R2-PU took care of it with his fire extinguisher function. Back to the action. Loud and Froggo keep shooting at the fighters, but they keep getting out of way. But finally, one of Loud's shots hit a TIE fighter and it explodes.)
Loud: FINALLY! TAKE THAT, YOU EMPIRE SCUM!
(Froggo also has success as one of his shots hits another TIE fighter. He cheers)
Froggo: I did it! I am unstoppable!
Loud: BE CAREFUL. DON'T GET COCKY, KID!
Froggo: Gross! Don't be sick!
Loud: WHAT? THAT ISN'T WHAT I MEANT!
(QC back to the cockpit)
Charity: We still got two more fighters left.
Fetchbacca: Those two better took care of them soon!
Charity: I hope so, Fetchbacca, for all our sakes.
(Back to the action, two more fighters shoot more blasts at them. One of Froggo's shots hits the third fighter destroying it. The last one try to finish the van off, but Loud's shot took care of that. Everyone in the ship cheer.)
Froggo: Hooray! We did it!
(In the cockpit, Charity gave a surprised Fetchbacca a hug. QC to where the robots are. C-OLD is tangled up in some wires while R2-PU watches.)
C-OLD: Help! I am caught! Help me up, you diaper bag!
(QC to the back of the Histeria! Falcon flying away. We QC to the control room of the 24 Hours Star as Burrows and Shelton look on at the ship leaving.)
Shelton: Did they went into hyperspace yet?
Burrows: Of course. That tracking device we place on their ship will surely leave us to the Rebels' planet, so like I said before, the princess is still a use to us.
Shelton: I hope it works, or the emperor will punish us.
Burrows: You maybe, me I doubt it.
Shelton: Okkay.
(QC back to the cockpit of the Histeria! Falcon. Loud is back in his driving, smiling that they won the battle. Fetchbacca checks to see if any damage was done to the ship. Charity is seating near Loud.)
Fetchbacca: Well, we got some few problems, not bad enough to stop us.
Loud: Good. If I say so myself, that rescue was so good that I amazed myself.
Charity: Good? Too easy if you ask me.
Loud: What do you mean?
Charity: Don't you see, they let us go because they are tracking us! They are following us to the Rebels' HQ right now!
Loud: Dream on, sister! No one can track this ship not in a billion years!
(Charity looks annoyed, like she was at Loud in that Rosa Parks sketch.)
Charity: First of all, I am not your sister. Second, I hope the info R2-PU is carrying is okay. We need it to save the galaxy.
Loud: What's so important about what it's carrying that I risked my neck just to get you?
Charity: R2-PU got the readout of that battion station we just escaped. If we get those to the Rebels, we might find it's weakness and use it to destroyed that thing.
Loud: WHOA! LISTEN, LADY. THERE IS NO WAY I AM GOING BACK TO THERE BIG MONSTER AGAIN! I AM ONLY DOING THIS FOR THE MONEY. NOT FOR YOU, WHATEVER REVOLUTION YOU GUYS HAVE, JUST THE MONEY.
Charity: Fine! If it's money you wanted, you are going to get it!
(Charity got up, and leaves the driving area, while Froggo came in. She spoke to him on the way out.)
Charity: I hope your friends has better brains than brawls. I wonder if he cares about anything...if ever!
Froggo: I care!
(Charity left the room anyway. Froggo sigh and sat where Charity was sitting.)
Loud: What is her deal anyway? She is just a grouch!
Froggo: You may think so, but when she isn't like that, she is pretty nice.
Loud: Yeah, yeah. (Pause) Still, I kinda like her. What do you think, that she and I...
Froggo: No.
Loud: WHY NOT?!
Froggo: I don't know, maybe I might like her too as a sister. I don't know why I think that either.
(We QC to a planet that the Histeria! Falcon is going to. It is the 4th moon of Yavin. (It is a real moon, not the way you think, sickos!) QC to inside the planet itself, around the Rebels' HQ. A guard saw the ship, thought better of shooting at it, and call the boss. The ship landed, and the heroes got out, greeted by some Rebels. They escorted them inside. We QC to inside the HQ. The foursome and the robots got out of a tram and is greeted by a man who looks like Ulysses S. Grant)
Commander Grant: Thanks goodness you're safe, princess. When we heard about Alderran, we feared that you were on it that died with your dad!
Charity: Never mind that! Listen, the 24 Hours Star is on it's way!
Loud: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU THAT SOMEONE CAN TRACK MY SHIP!
Charity: Ignore him! We got to get the information from R2-PU's functions now!
(QC back into space as the 24 Hours Star approached the planet Yavin. We are back in the control room looking on at the planet. Shelton answered a call from his intercom.)
Voice in intercom: We are approaching the planet Yavin, sir. From what the tracking device told us, they are the fourth moon of Yavin. Whoever he is, tell him to pull up his pants!
Shelton: (angrily) Not that moon, the actual moon! Get your mind out of the gutter, you sicko!
Voice: Yes sir!
(QC to a meeting room in the Rebels' HQ. There are a bunch of pilots there, including Froggo, and Loud and Fetchbacca who are in the back. A man who looks like Scott Drawford is standing before a hologram of the 24 Hours Star. The others listen to what he is saying.)
Jan Drawford: According to the readout given to us by the princess Charity, the battle station you see before you is heavily shielded, which means no sort of blast can hit it. And it's attacks are so powerful that it can wipe out a ship or planet as you heard from Alderran's destructive. Now, one fighter should be able to get into the outer defense.
(One pilot, who looks like the cop Mike from "24 Days" interrupt him)
Gold Leader Mike: Excuse me, sir. But how can we, a bunch of little fighters, can get in that?
Drawford: Good question, Mike. You see, the Empire don't think one fighter would bring them all down. Thanks to the plans given to us by R2-PU from the princess, we were able to find a weak spot.
R2-PU: Beep goo goo whir gee.
Drawford: You might go down a trench before being killed which is very hard. The target is 2 meters wide, and 5 feet long. There is a small hole, right below the main port. It leads right into the heart of the beast, namely the 24 Hours Star. One hit should go right into the heart, destroying the station forever, and maybe some few bad guys who are staying in there. Now since that hole is shielded, we needed some proton torpedoed.
(A man, who looks like Ernest Hemingway, spoke to Froggo.)
Red Wedges Hemingway: That is crazy! No way we can hit that thing is so small.
Froggo: It isn't that hard. I also managed to whack a few bats back home, and they were small too.
Drawford: We are now dismissed, and hurry! The 24 Hours Star is almost here. Get your ships ready, and May The Force Be With You.
(QC back to the 24 Hours Star as it begins to move around Yavin so it can go to the 4th moon of Yavin. Inside the control room of the 24 Hours Star, Burrows and Shelton are watching this, and we see that Shelton is eager with glee.)
Voice: Attention. We are now moving around the planet Yavin. We will be approaching the 4th moon of Yavin in 30 minutes. I would say earlier but someone split soda pop over the **** controls! Stupid idiots!
Burrows: Just think, Shelton. Soon, we will destroyed the Rebellion and no one will oppose the Empire anymore.
Shelton: Yes, this will be the place that lives in infanty, to the good guys that is.
(We now QC to the hangar of the Rebels QC as Froggo, C-OLD, and R2-PU enter. Froggo is now in pilot clothing as the other pilots rushes to their planes. A voice came on the speaker.)
Voice: Attention, attention. Everyone get your butts to your ships at once! And for the person who puts a mustache in my yearbook, will you please stop that?! It was amusing once, but after that it stops being funny!
(Froggo ignored the voice on the speaker and sees that Loud and Fetchbacca are packing boxes in a speeder. Froggo, sad to see that it looks like they is going to leave, goes up to them.)
Froggo: So, you are leaving, huh?
Loud: Yep. I got what I need, so I am going to leave and delivered my reward to the person I an in debt to.
Froggo: You owe someone money?
Fetchbacca: Yeah, he owes money to...
Loud: HE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW AT THIS TIME, FETCHIE! Besides, even if I wasn't in debt, I am not stupid enough to stick around.
Froggo: Loud, look around you! A bunch of pilots who is going to stop the 24 Hours Star would probably never return again! Can't you at least find it in your heart to help?
Loud: Hey, I got a reward, so what's the use of not using it? And like I said before, I am not going anywhere near that monster again!
Froggo: Oh, what's the use?! *sigh&* Someday, Loud, you are going to be in trouble, and you will have no one but yourself to depend on.
Loud: Right, I will make sure to put it in my files of very useless talk.
(Froggo fumes angrily and begins to leave. Loud stops him.)
Loud: One more thing...
Froggo: (turning around annoyed) Yeah?
Loud: May The Force Be With You. I may not like the idea, but I hope it suits you fine.
(Froggo pauses, smugged, and wave at him and left.)
Fetchbacca: You know, you could at least help.
Loud: Are you nuts? I know better.
Fetchbacca: Whatever.
(Froggo met up with Drawford and Charity under a ship.)
Charity: Only a few seconds to leave. What's wrong, Froggo?
Froggo: I was hoping that Loud would change his mind and help out. He proves so much against the Empire.
Charity: Hey, it's Loud's decision to leave, so let's him. If he wants to regret it later in life, that's his own problem, not yours.
Froggo: I wish Thomas is still here. I could use his help right now.
(Charity gives Froggo a kiss, on the cheek. Note: Hey, even I am not like that. She then left wit Drawford. Froggo sighs and heads for his ship, when he runs into an old friend. It is someone in a pilot suit, but obviously Froggo sees who it is.)
Boy: Froggo? Is that you?
Froggo: Billy? Billy Darkkider?!
(The two friends hugged as if meeting again. They let go.)
Billy Darkkider: Oh man! I never expected you to be here!
Froggo: Yeah, I knew someday I will meet up with you again, but I never expect this!
(Another pilot, who looks like Calgary Kasem and is voiced by Casey Kasem, comes up to them. He is the Red Leader.)
Red Leader Kasem: Like, zoinks. Are you Froggo Skywalker? Have you flown a ship before?
Billy: Darn right he did, mister! My friend here is best you have ever seen!
Kasem: Like, be careful, man. This isn't no fishing trip.
Froggo: Uh, okay, I will sir.
(Kasem left.)
Billy: Well, Froggo buddy, if there's a chance, you can tell me how you got here when this thing is over.
Froggo: Providing we lived to do that anyway.
Billy: Shucks, we are so better, nothing could go wrong! Time to go, friend!
(Froggo laughs and heads for his ship. As he climbs the ladder, a crew is lifting R2-PU into his ship with a crane. One of them spoke to Froggo.)
Crew chief: Uh, do you need a replacement? This droid looks pretty beaten up.
Froggo: After all me and R2-PU went through? No way! Is everything all right, little buddy?
R2-PU: Whir goo goo gee poo!
Crew chief: Okay, though I would consider changing it's oil when you get back.
Froggo: Okay.
(Froggo got into the cockpit and puts on his helmet. As R2-PU is being put into the back, C-OLD, who is watching, spoke to him.)
C-OLD: Hey, be careful willya, R2? I need someone to talk to when you get back.
R2-PU: Beep goo whir gee?
C-OLD: I am not! Don't accuse me of that!
(Everyone in their fighters gets prepared for what may be their final battle. Once everything is done, fuel lines removed once the ships are filled, shields goes into place over a pilot, etc. We QC to Froggo as he sees through his goggles of his helmet. He then hears Thomas's voice once again.)
Thomas: (V/O)Remember, Froggo, The Force Will Be You Always.
Froggo: Huh? Why do I keep hearing Thomas's voice, even though I know he is dead? Hmm...
(QC to outside the Rebels' HQ as the guard is still on guard. The rebel ship came out of the hangar and into the sky. QC to the War Room (also known as the Sneaky Room. Put music cue here) where Charity, C-OLD, and a commander are looking at a hologram of Yavin and its 4 moons (no butts jokes!). The red dot that is around Yavin is obviously the 24 Hours Star itself. The green dots represents the rebel ships)
Voice on speaker: Attention. The 24 Hours Star will be approaching the 4th moon of Yavin within 15 minutes. And whoever took out the CL on the door "History Class", dude, you need help.
(QC to space as the 24 Hours Star itself is still moving around Yavin. We see the Rebel ships going toward the battle station. If you see the special edition of Star Wars Episode IV, you know what it's like. We QC to inside Kasem's ship. As we QC to each ship, we see that each pilot is preparing for battle.)
Kasem: Like anyone who's with me, report in, man.
(QC to another ship. The Red 10 person looks like Stone Wall Jackson.)
Red-10 Jackson: Red 10 reporting in.
(QC to inside Billy's ship.)
Billy: Red-3 reporting in.
(QC to another ship of a pilot who looks like Henry VIII)
Fatkins: Red-2 reporting in.
Voice on headset: Red-9 reporting in.
(QC to inside Hemingway's ship)
Hemingway: Red-2 standing by!
(QC to inside Froggo's ship.)
Another voice on headset: Red-11 standing by.
Froggo: Red-5 standing by.
(QC to outside Froggo's ship where we can see R2-PU's face.)
R2-PU: Whir goo gee poo.
(QC back inside Kasem's ship.)
Kasem: Like here we go, man!
(In space, the ships headed straight toward the 24 Hours Star and began their attack position, or something like that. QC inside Billy's ship.)
Kasem: (V/O) Like, we are going through their magnetic field thing, so watch your back everyone...
(QC back inside Kasem's ship.)
Kasem: And hang on to whatever you got!
(QC back inside Froggo's ship. Froggo adjusts his controls so he can get to the 24 Hours Star with no problems.)
Kasem: (V/O) Like, put on your defectors or you will be kill, man.
(QC to inside another ship.)
Kasem: (V/O) Double front!
Pilot: Huh?
Kasem: (V/O) Don't ask me! I just like to say that!
(QC back outside as the Star that looks smaller at first is now growing bigger. The metallic sides became visible and we can see a satellite dish (with only 300 channels to watch). QC back inside Hemingway's ship.)
Hemingway: Geez! That thing is bigger than a whale, though I never wrote that book!
Kasem: (V/O) Like, no time to talk, Red-2, it's time for action!
Hemingway: Well, excuse me!
(QC back inside Kasem's ship.)
Kasem: Like, prepare to attack, men! Here we go!
(QC back into Froggo's ship. He is puzzled.)
Froggo: How in the galaxy did this guy became a Red Leader???
(QC to space as the fighters approached the battle station further. If I mentioned what it's more look like, it will take all day! So I won't do it. QC inside Mike's ship.)
Mike: Hey Kasem, this Mike. Over.
Kasem: (V/O) Like, we are going at it now!
(QC inside Kasem's ship as he prepares his radar.)
Kasem: Okay, listen up. I am going to draw their fire.
(Indeed, as we QC to Space once more, two Rebel ships separate from the rest and going toward the surface of the 24 Hours Star. Inside the battle station, alarms went off all around as soldiers head for their guns. They too activate them, so let's not go into details, okay? Anyway, QC back to the Space Around the 24 Hours Star as the fighting begins. The guns on the battle station shots at the rebel ships though not hitting them on their first shot. QC back to the war room of the Rebels' HQ as Charity and C-OLD listens in.)
Hemingway: (V/O) Look out! They are shooting ugly!
Kasem: (V/O) Like, no kidding, man! Just make sure you don't get hit!
(Back into the 24 Hours Star, a crew is putting in the last supplies. We QC back into space and back into Froggo's fighter.)
Froggo: Listen up, guys. I am going in. I been here before so I know what I up against.
(Outside, Froggo's ship head toward the 24 Hours Star. Froggo shots lasers at the surface, creating a huge explosion. QC inside Froggo's ship as he realizes something.)
Froggo: Oh great. I will never lived through this one.
Billy: (V/O) Get out of there, buddy, or you won't make it!
(QC back to the surface as Froggo manages to get out of the fireball, still alive. QC back into Billy's ship. He looks worry.)
Billy: You okay, buddy?
(QC back into Froggo's ship.)
Froggo: I almost didn't make it, but other than that, I am fine.
Billy: (V/O) Well, don't do that again! You scared the heck out of me!
Froggo: Sorry.
(QC back outside as the good guys keep shooting at the 24 Hours Star. Inside the battle station, there is craziness all around. Walls keep blowning up, troopers keep falling around, you do the math. Darth Burrows is there, unaffected by the madness. One Astro-Officer came up to him.)
Astro-Officer: Sir, we got a problem! There are 30 Rebel ships attacking this battle station! We try striking back, but they are so small, we can't hit them!
Burrows: Well, in the Empire world, it's time to fight fire with fire.
Astro-Officer: Huh?
Burrows: Namely this. Get the fighters to their ships at once!
(QC back to the action. The cannons keep shooting at the good guys as they make their rounds. QC inside Kasem's ship.)
Kasem: Hey Froggo. Can you, like, tell me when you are going in?
(QC back in Froggo's ship.)
Froggo: I am doing it right now. Take a chill pill.
Kasem: (V/O) Then be careful, man. Those towers are really shooting at us.
Froggo: Roger, roger.
Kasem: (V/O) And don't call me Roger!
(Outside, Froggo's fighter swoop down and shot at a nearby tower. Laser from Froggo's ship took it out but good. He manages to avoid being hit by enemy fire as well. The other fighters manage to avoid being hit as well. Inside the towers, the soldiers are running as their guns exploded. Unknown to them, however, inside the battle station, TIE fighters pilot are headed for their ships right now. We QC back to the war room in the Rebels' HQ. Charity looks nervously at the hologram as the 24 Hours Star comes closer to the moon. Around her, technicans are working around the clock, some of them goofing off. Drawford watches nearby in a corner. A officer speaks into his headset.)
Officer: Watch out, guys. You guy a bunch of psychos heading right for you.
Mike: (V/O) Okay, buddy.
(The officer then flip a switch and speaks into his headset once again.)
Officer: And for all you music lovers out there, here's something from the late 90s!
(He turns on a radio, playing a tape which plays the "Trustbuster" song from "The Teddy Roosevelt Show" episode. QC back into Froggo's ship as he searches for the enemy ships.)
Froggo: Where? I don't see them.
(QC back into Kasem's ship. He is looking around too.)
Kasem: Like, watch your back, man. You never know when those Imperial jerks might find us. They are probably jamming us right now!
(Sure enough, outside 4 TIE fighters show us to fight our heroes. 2 left the pack. We now go to the two remaining fighters. We see one of them chasing Billy's ship. Billy sees this when we QC into his ship.)
Billy: Yikes! I got a baddie on my tail! I better lose him!
(He tries doing that. QC back into Kasem's ship.)
Kasem: Like, be careful, Billy! You got a smokey on your trail!
Billy: (V/O) What smokey?! I only got a Imperial fighter!
Kasem: I know, but I liked that Burt Reynolds movie. Man, it takes me back.
(QC to outside Billy's ship as he is still chased by the TIE fighter. The fighter tries to hit his ship but keeps missing. QC back into Billy's ship.)
Billy: Help! I am being chased by a mad man!
(QC back into Froggo's ship.)
Froggo: No problem, Billy! I can help you out!
(QC back outside as Froggo's ship chased after the pursuing TIE fighter chasing Billy. Billy manages to get out, leaving Froggo to chase his pursuer. The TIE fighter tries to shake him, but one hit from Froggo's laser said it all. QC into Froggo's ship as he sees the explosion.)
Froggo: Yahoo! Got him!
Billy: (V/O) Hey, thanks, Froggo.
Froggo: No problem, buddy.
(QC inside the 24 Hours Star as Burrows is walking down a hallway, followed by 2 Imperial pilots.)
Burrows: Those pilots are separating from each other! I woulda have punish them myself, if they weren't being punished already!
Pilot: Sir?
Burrows: Never mind that! Follow me at once!
(QC back to the War Room as Charity, C-OLD, Drawford, and nameless officers continuing watching the hologram. They are listening in to what the pilots are saying.)
Billy: (V/O) Pull in, darn you Froggo!
Hemingway: (V/O) And watch out, Froggo! There is one fighter coming right for you!
Charity: I hope nothing happens to Froggo, though I don't know why.
C-OLD: He's your brother?
Charity: Huh?
C-OLD: Funny. I don't know why I said that either.
(QC back to the action as Froggo sees that he is indeed chased by a TIE fighter. The fighter manages to hit Froggo's fighter, but it didn't do too much damage. QC back inside Froggo's ship.)
Froggo: A fire. R2, do me a favor and take care of that, willya?
(QC to R2-PU as he did just that, with his fire extingusher function. Laser goes over his head while he is doing so.)
R2-PU: Goo whir beep poo.
(QC back into Froggo's ship as he is glowing nervous.)
Kasem: (V/O) Like, Red-6...
(QC back into the War Room as the on goers listen in. Charity is the most worried in there.)
Kasem: (V/O) Do you know where Red-6 is at?
Red-10: (V/O) I don't know! I need some help here!
Kasem: (V/O angrily) I wanted Red-6, not Red-10, you nut!
(QC back into Froggo's ship. Froggo sees that he still can't shake the bad guy.)
Froggo: Can someone help me before this guy gets me?!
(QC outside as the TIE fighter continues chasing Froggo's ship. We now QC into Hemingway's ship.)
Hemingway: Don't worry, new friend! I will get him!
(Back outside, Hemingway's ship goes after the TIE fighter chasing Froggo. QC back into Froggo's ship. He looks panicked and Histeria!)
Froggo: Hemingway, where are you?!
(Sure enough, outside the ship, Hemingway got closer to the bad guy, and, with a help from the other good guy fighter, took out the bad guy fighter. The TIE fighter explodes with white light. QC back into Froggo's ship. He looks relief.)
Froggo: Phew Thanks, Wedges.
Hemingway: (V/O) Anytime.
(QC back to the war room as the on goers are still listening in.)
Billy; (V/O) Good job saving him, Hemingway! I knew I can count on you!
Mike: (V/O) Hey, Kasem!
(We QC into Mike's ship. It looks like he is heading into the trench, which he is.)
Mike: We are now heading into the core of the beast.
(Outside the ship, the 3 Gold fighters headed toward the surface. QC back into the war room.)
Kasem: (V/O) Like, I copy, Mike, though I don't know why since I don't have a copier to begin with!
(In the space around the 24 Hours Star, however, 3 more TIE fighters made their presence known. One of them has the design of Gene's huge robo-spider from "Another 24 Hours". Inside that ship, we see the master of the Sith himself looking very confident.)
Burrows: Remember, stay with me at all time. Understand?
(QC back to space as Mike's ship went into the trench, firing lasers doing so. The enemy battle station returns fire. We QC in Gold-5's ship. He looks like one of the extras from "Another 24 Hours" so forget him. QC back into Mike's ship, as laser blasts goes around his ship.)
Mike: I am now switching to front detector screens.
(We QC outside once more as the 3 fighters speed on the surface of the trench of the 24 Hours Star. Huge guns blast at the ships. QC back into Mike's ship as he looks at the gun.)
Mike: So, Gold-5, how many guns are there?
(QC back to the War Room.)
Gold-5: (V/O) I think 20 guns, some on the ground, some in the towers. Hopefully there isn't more than that.
(Charity, C-OLD, and some technicans continuing viewing the hologram, though they get worry each time they hear the voice on the speaker.)
Voice on speaker: Attention. The 24 Hours Star will be in in 5 minutes. And also, the lotto money is now up to $20 million dollars, but if anyone is working on stoping the 24 Hours Star, tough luck, you can't! Ha ha!
(QC back to the action as the 3 Gold ships continued toward their target. We now QC back into Mike's ship as he activates his tracking thing.)
Mike: I am now turning on the tracking thing.
(QC into Gold-2's ship. He looks like another extra. He turns on his tracking thing too.)
Gold-2: Okay, My computer has now locked on the target.
(Suddenly, the laser blast stop firing.)
Gold-2: Huh? Why did they stop firing like that???
(QC into Gold-5's ship as he looks behind his ship.)
Gold-5: Oh crud. I think I know why. We got more enemy fighters on our tails, even though I don't kno why since we got no tails to begin with!
(QC to the enemy fighters as Burrows's group chases after the Rebel ships. We now QC into Burrows's ship.)
Burrows: Listen up, I will take care of those scum myself! You watch my back or else!
Wingman: (V/O) Yes sir.
(We now QC back to the action as the bad guys continued chasing the good guys. QC into Burrows's ship as his computer targeted Gold-2's ship. He push the firing button as, when QC outside, the laser hits Gold-2's ship, causing it to exploded. QC back into Mike's ship, as he panicily looks over at the scene.)
Mike: Oh crap! They got Gold-2! I don't think I can make it!
(QC back into Gold-5's ship. He looks calm.)
Gold-5: Look, just keep focusing on the target and try to ignore them okay?
(However, we QC into Mike's ship once more.)
Mike: Are you crazy?! I can't make it!
(QC back into Gold-5's ship. He remains calm.)
Gold-5: Just stay on target.
(QC back into Mike's ship. He is really shooken up now.)
Mike: I can't....
(Before he finished, QC back into Burrows's ship as he presses the firing button once more. As we QC out, the blast hits Mike's ship, destroying it and him at the same time. QC into Gold-5's ship as he calls the others.)
Gold-5: Bad news, guys...
(QC into Froggo's ship, as Gold-5 made his report.)
Gold-5: (V/O) We just lost Mike and Gold-2.
(Froggo looks shooken up, but tries to calm down. QC into Kasem's ship.)
Kasem: Like, I got that, Gold-5.
(QC back into Gold-5's ship.)
Gold-5: But now...
(Before he can finishes, QC outside his ship once more as a laser blast hits his ship causing it to spin out of the control and exploded on the surface. QC into Froggo's ship as he gulps.)
Froggo: In the words of a famous person, "this isn't good."
(We QC into the control room as Shelton and an officer continues watching the planet as the 24 Hours goes around it.)
Officer: Uh, sir. I think those fighters are going to present a danger. Do you want me to call a ship as we can make a getaway?
Shelton: Are you crazy?! We are this close to victory and you want to be cowardous?!
Officer: But sir!
(Shelton ignores him and turns back to the screen. We now see the voice over the speaker.)
Voice over speaker: Attention. We will be approaching the Rebel base in 3 minutes. Phil Turray, pick up line 1.
(QC back into Kasem's ship as he looks over his group.)
Kasem: Listen up, cats...
(QC back to the war room once again. Drawford is pressing some computer keys as everyone else listens in.)
Kasem: (V/O) We must meet at mark.1.
Hemingway: (V/O) I am coming, Kasem.
Billy: (V/O) Same here.
(QC into Mike's ship, as Drawford gave some instructions to him over the headset.)
Drawford: (V/O) Listen, Kasem. Make sure some of your group is safe until after the next run.
(QC into Froggo's ship.)
Kasem: (V/O) Okay, man. Froggo, can you take Red-2 and Red-3 and don't go anywhere until we are ready to begin the run?
Froggo: No problem, Kasem.
(Outside, Froggo's ship flies high, followed by Billy and Hemingway's ship. QC back into Froggo's ship as he looks outside. Outside (again) 2 Rebel ships, one of them is Kasem's, goes into the trench that the gold group went into. Inside Kasem's ship, he looks around as he makes the run.)
Kasem: Okay, this is it, I hope.
(Outside, enemy fires tries to hit the ships but they keep missing. Even the cannons weren't able to hit them. QC into Red-10's ship.)
Red-10: Are we there yet?
(QC into Kasem's ship, as he gets an annoyed look.)
Kasem: No! Now, look out for the bad guys!
(QC into Red-10's ship. He looks trouble.)
Red-10: I can't! My radar can't get anything!
(We QC to the 3 fighters staying out so far.)
Red-10: (V/O) Can you see them, Red-5.
(QC into Froggo's ship as he looks around.)
Froggo: I don't see any...wait!
(QC into Red-10's ship. Red-10 looks outside.)
Froggo: (V/O) Look out! There are some coming right for you!
Red-10: I see them, calm down!
(QC outside as Burrows's group chased after the new fighters. We now QC into Kasem's ship as he activates his tracking thing.)
Kasem: Okay, I am like almost there. It is coming up so make sure they don't hit me so I can do this, okay?
(QC into Burrows's ship as he activates his computer.)
Burrows: Don't so fast, speedy.
(QC outside as the enemy fighters are closer to the group. Inside Kasem's ship, he is almost to the target. Outside, the bad guys are getting closer. Inside Burrows's ship, he lines up his shots to hit Red-10 and Red-12. He presses the firing button. Outside, Red-12's ship has been hit and it exploded. Inside Red-10's ship, Red-10 is trying to shake Burrows's ship but can't be able to.)
Red-10: You better hit it now, Kasem! I can't shake these guys!
(Back in Kasem's ship, he is still concentrating on his target.)
Kasem: Just a few more seconds....
(Inside Red-10's ship, he looks panicked)
Red-10: I can't do it!
(Inside Burrows's ship, he is calm as he presses the firing button that, outside, hits Red-10's ship causing it to exploded on contact.)
(Back in Kasem's ship, he crosses his fingers and presses the firing button once the target is near.)
Kasem: And it's gone!
(However, inside one of the hallways of the battle station, however, an explosion knocks some troopers on the floor. QC back to Charity and the others in the War Room as they continued to listen in.)
Red-9: (V/O) You got it!
Kasem: (V/O) Sorry, man, it was a miss.
(Back into Kasem's ship, as he looks at his hit in disapproval.)
Kasem: It just hit the side. I didn't get it.
(Back outside, Burrows's ship left the group as he chases after Kasem's ship. Inside Burrows's ship, he swings his ship as he prepares to get his next target. Inside Kasem's ship, Froggo calls him over the headset.)
Froggo: (V/O) Listen, Kasem, we are still here. Just go to point...
(We QC into Froggo's ship as he continues.)
Froggo: ...O-5. We will cover you.
Kasem: (V/O) With what?
Froggo: You know what I mean!!
Kasem: (V/O) Oh. Anyway, try like to stay there man.
(Inside Kasem's ship, he freaked out like Casey Kasem's Shaggy character.)
Kasem: Because, zoinks, I lost one of my engines, man!
(Inside Froggo's ship, he waits patiently to begin the next run.)
Kasem: (V/O) Okay, you guys can do it now.
(Unfortunately for Kasem, inside Burrows's ship, he presses the firing button once again as he target Kasem's ship. Outside, the blast hits Kasem's ship, causing it to exploded on contact, killing him in the progress. We hear him scream as he dies. Back in Froggo's ship, he looks at Kasem's explosion and moans. It seems hopeless. Back in the control of the 24 Hours Star, Shelton looks very eagerly as the voice makes the next announcement.)
Voice on speaker: Attention. We are almost 1 minute until we reach the Rebel base. Also, can someone please return my goldfish and I won't press any charges?
(Back at the War Room, Charity, Drawford, and C-OLD, listen in to Froggo, Billy, and Hemingway's conversation, although it looks like it will be futile since the battle station is almost upon them now that Kasem kick the bucket.)
Froggo: (V/O) Billy, Wedge, we got to this get thing now. We are going in
(QC back into Hemingway's ship. He looks determined.)
Hemingway: Right behind you, buddy!
(Outside, the 3 Rebel ships followed Froggo's ship into the trench of the beast. QC to inside Billy's ship.)
Billy: You think we can make it, Froggo?
(QC to Froggo's ship.)
Froggo: I hope so, or we can kiss our friends' lives goodbye!
(Outside, the three fired at the enemy, who also fired back. Inside Billy's ship, he tries to use the controls.)
Billy: We will try to cover you as good as we can!
(Inside Froggo's ship, we can see lasers out the window.)
Hemingway: (V/O) I can see the tower, but I can't see the hole! Are you sure we can get it this time?
(Froggo thought for a moment, and pulls out his tracking thing.)
Froggo: We will. Just be careful, okay?
(Inside Hemingway's ship, he looks around for enemy fighters.)
Hemingway: Shouldn't we be worry about the towers?
(Inside Froggo's ship.)
Froggo: You just watch out for the enemy ships! Those towers will be my only concern!
(Froggo felt as one of the lasers hit one of his wings.)
Froggo: I am hit again! R2, take care of that, willya?
(QC to where R2-PU is in Froggo's ship. He is taking care of the damage to Froggo's ship. Inside Hemingway's ship, he sees the TIE fighters now chasing them. Inside Froggo's ship, Froggo's tracking thing shows he is closer to the target. Outside, the bad guys come closer. Inside Burrows's ship, he presses the firing button, this time hitting Hemingway's ship. Fortunately for him, it didn't do too bad so he didn't die. Outside, however...)
Hemingway: (V/O) Blast! I'm hit! Sorry, I can't stay to play with you guys!
Froggo: (V/O) Don't worry, Wedge...
(Inside Froggo's ship.)
Froggo: At least you get to live, right?
(Hemingway's ship.)
Hemingway: Right. Sorry.
(Outside, Hemingway pulls his ship out of the battle. Inside Burrows's ship, he saw Hemingway's ship leaving, but didn't bother to go after him.)
Burrows: Forget about him! He is of no importance! We must focus on the leader!
(Outside, the remaining fighters are closer to the target, but unfortunately, the bad guys are closer to them. Inside Billy's ship, he looks worry.)
Billy: Hey, Froggo! They are coming in fast! I don't know how long I can take this!
(Inside Froggo's ship, he calls out to R2-PU.)
Froggo: Hey, R2, you got to increase the power as we can nail this!
(QC to R2-PU as he does just that.)
R2-PU: Goo beep whir poo.
(Outside, the TIE fighters are coming closer. Back in Froggo's ship, he takes a look in his tracking thing and pause for a moment, not knowing if he should use it or not remembering what happen to Kasem.)
Billy: (V/O) Can you think later and do it now, Froggo!
(Outside, the bad guys, as usual, are getting closer, Billy's ship covers Froggo's ship, but now as we QC into Billy's ship, he sees Burrows's ship aiming right for him.)
Billy: Oh my...
(Before he can finished, QC into Burrows's ship as he presses the firing button as, outside, the blast hits Billy's ship causing it to exploded, killing him forever. Back in the War Room, the others realized they just lost another one. Froggo realizes this as we QC to him as he sadded by the lost of his longtime friend. QC back to the control room of the battle station as Shelton continues watching. He looks confident since the battle station isn't in danger so far.)
Voice over speaker: We will be approaching the Rebel base in 30 seconds or less. Also, the mall will be closing in 10 minutes.
(Inside Burrows's ship, he gave instructions to his underlings.)
Burrows: The leader is mine. Soon, this will end.
(Back in the war room, everyone looks worry, including C-OLD.)
C-OLD: That little droid friend of mine better be careful!
(Inside Froggo's ship, he is concentrating on his target as outside, the fighters continuining chasing him. Inside Burrows's ship, he wave his thumb over the firing button in anticipation. Inside Froggo's ship, he is still concentrating on his target...when he hears a familiar voice.)
Thomas: (V/O) Use the Force, Froggo.
Froggo: Huh?
(Froggo then realized what Thomas's voice meant. He hears it again.)
Thomas: (V/O) Let yourself go.
(Froggo nodded as he now realized what he must do. He closes his eyes and remember his training. QC inside Burrows's ship, as the Sith begins to feel something.)
Burrows: Strange, The Force is strong in this one for some reason.
(Outside, his ship continues following Froggo's ship. Inside Froggo's ship, he hears Thomas's voice once more.)
Thomas: (V/O) You got to trust me on this one, Froggo.
(Now he realizes what Thomas meant all along, he nodded and turns off his tracking device. Back in the war room, everyone looks confused as they hear one of the members speaking to Froggo.)
Member: (V/O) What the...?! Why did you turned off your computer, Froggo?
Froggo: (V/O) I have a reason.
(Outside the ship, the bad guys continuing chasing Froggo's ship, trying to get it. Back into Burrows's ship, he presses his firing button, He, however as we sees outside, misses Froggo's ship, but manages to hit R2-PU, making it cry very loudly. Inside Froggo's ship, he groans.)
Froggo: Oh great! I just losted R2-PU!
(Back in the war room, C-OLD looks panicked at hearing this. Charity calms him down. They, however, looks panicked once more when they see that the 24 Hours Star is now around the 4th moon of Yavin.)
Voice: Attention! The 24 Hours Star has now cleared the planet! I hope you got your wills ready because we are now going to die! Aaaahhh!
(Back in the control room, Shelton smiles wickedly as he hears the next voice on the speaker.)
Voice on speaker: The 24 Hours Star is now near the 4th moon of Yavin.
(Upon hearing this, he presses a button on the intercom.)
Shelton: You may fired at will.
Voice: Who's Will?
Shelton: (angrily) Shut up and fired at the moon!
Voice: Okay, geez!
(For those who seen the movie, you know what they are going to do, so I won't mention it. Back in the action, the bad guys are still chasing Froggo's ship. Inside his ship, he waits patiently to make the hit. Inside Burrows's ship, he target Froggo's ship and prepares to hit the firing button once more.)
Burrows: Prepare to die, whoever you are.
(However, outside, one TIE fighter is hit by a blast and exploded. Back in Froggo's ship, he looks around to see who made the shot. Even Burrows is surprised when we QC into ship.)
Burrows: What is this?!
(We now see who the attacker was when we QC to them.)
Loud: HEEHAW! TAKE THAT, YOU IMPERIAL SCUM!
(Outside, another one of Loud's blasts hit the TIE fighter exploded it, and hittign Burrows's ship too, causing it to spin out of control and out of the battle. We QC to inside his ship again, as he looks dizzy from the spinning around. QC back into the Histeria! Falcon as Loud calls out to Froggo.)
Loud: YOU ARE CLEAR, FROGGO!
(Back in the war room, the others, especially Charity, listen in in disbelief as they hear Loud's voice.)
Loud:...NOW DESTROY THIS THING AND LET'S GET THE HECK OUTTA HERE!!!
(Inside Froggo's ship, he smiles and concentrates once more. He presses the torpedo button. Outside, this time the torpedos went into the hole and are going into the heart of the beast. Froggo eventually pulls his ship out. Back in the control, Shelton's look turn to shocked as he hears the next announcement.)
Voice: The heart of this thing has now exploded. Destruction will begin in 10, 9, 8, 6...
Shelton: Wait a minute! Where's the heck is 7?!
Voice: Gotcha! Anyway 7, 6, 5, 4...
(Outside the 24 Hours Star, the survivors, including Froggo's ship and Loud's Histeria! Falcon pulled away from the 24 Hours Star. Back to the control room as the countdown continues.)
Voice: 3, 2, 1. Say goodbye, Bob.
Shelton: Wait! My name isn't...
(QC back into space as the 24 Hours Star exploded, destroying it once and for all, including the bad guys who are still on it. QC back into Loud's ship as he is talking to Froggo once more.)
Loud: YOU DID IT, FROGGO! YOU DESTROYED THAT THING!
(QC back into Froggo's ship as he is calm and his eyes are closed.)
Thomas: (V/O) Remember, Froggo. The Force Will Be With You...Always.
Froggo: Yes. Thanks, Thomas.
(QC back into Burrows's ship as it looks like he is getting sick from the spinning around. We now QC back to the good guys as they headed back toward the 4th moon of Yavin. QC back to the main hangar as the good guys cheered for their victory over the Empire. Froggo got out of his ship and is greeted by the Rebels, especially Charity who hugs him.)
Charity: You did it, Froggo! You actually did it!
Froggo: Yeah, I did! Didn't I?
(Loud shows up and hugs him both.)
Froggo: Loud! I thought you would never return!
Loud: WELL, I CAN'T LET YOU TAKE ALL THE CREDIT, RIGHT?
Froggo: (Pause) Tell me why you're really here?
Loud: I got a bunch of reasons, I have no time to go over all of them, okay?
Froggo: Fine with me.
(They eventually let go of each other. CHarity goes up to Loud.)
Charity: Wow, for a minute there, I didn't think you care.
Loud: What? You or Froggo?
Charity: About anything.
Loud: Maybe later.
(Charity giggles, though she tries not to show it. Froggo gasps as he sees that the crew are bringing R2-PU out of his ship. The baby droid looks a lot beaten up.)
C-OLD: Oh my gosh! R2, are you okay?!
Crew member: Don't worry about it! We can fix ASAP.
C-OLD: If you want any parts, I am happy to give away some of mine!
Crew member: Will you please not to do that?! It's starting to make me sick for some reason!
C-OLD: (embarrassed) Oops. Sorry.
(Everyone else laughs. We now QC to the celebration room of the Rebels' HQ. Froggo, Loud, and Fetchbacca came in to a bunch of trumpets playing. A bunch of troops, including some I don't give a care about, are lined in a military salute. At the end of the aisle is Charity, wearing white clothes. The three goes down the aisle and kneels toward her. We can see on one side that R2-PU is prepared and all well.)
R2-PU: Goo gee beep poo! Yay!
(He is standing next to a cleaned-up C-OLD, who is watching the event. Fetchbacca is puzzled of what is going on, but not for long. Drawford and other important people are standing on each side of Charity. She puts a medallion around Loud's neck. He winks at her, though she tries to ignore. She puts another medallion around Froggo's neck, who smiles at this. The three turned around and faced the troops, who cheered. Fetchbacca barked and R2-PU makes beeping (and farting) noises. We now FTB as we hear the Star Wars theme song in the credits.)
The End.
Cast list
Nathan Ruegger: Froggo Skywalker (Froggo)
Cody Ruegger: Loud Solo (Loud Kiddington)
Laraine Newman: Princess Charity Norgana (Charity Bazaar)
Jim Cummings: Grand Moff Shelton (Dr. William Shelton)
Billy West: Thomas "Frog-Go" Kenobi (Thomas Edison), Chief Pest (Chit Chatterson), Fatkins/Red-6 (Henry VIII), General Khan (Genghis Khan) Bartender (Doc Holliday)
Frank Welker: C-OLD (Father Time), Fetchbacca (Fetch), Gold Leader Mike (Mike), Admiral Konin (Walter Konin)
Luke Ruegger: R2-PU (Big Fat Baby), Billy Darkkider/Red-3 (Billy the Kid)
Gene Hackman: Darth Burrows (Dr. Gene Burrows)
Maurice LaMarche: Uncle Jim Lars (Jim), Nathan Fett (Nathan), Officer Benedict (Benedict Arnold)
Nora Dunn: Aunt Sally Lars (Sally)
Scott Glenn: General Drawford (Scott Drawford)
Fred Travalena: General Grant (Ulysses S. Grant), Julius the Caesar (Julius Caesar)
Casey Kasem: Red Leader Kasem (Calgary Kasem)
Adam West: Wedge Hemingway/Red-2 (Ernest Hemingway)
Rob Paulsen: Cassido (Cassius)
Triple H: Dr. RH (Roughhouse)
Vin Diesel: Jack Hammer (Jackhammer)
One of my best parodies ever! Please read and review!