{Opens in a dark place where nothing and no one is visable and all we can hear is many angry voices. Finally one voice drowns them out}

Voice:{Effimate}All right everyone-{evil}Quiet time is now!!

{The lights come on to reveal a room where many people are sitting together in front of a stage- many evil people in fact. And the eviliest one of all is on stage in front of them....Him}

Him:{e.v}Ah, enough people answered my invitations to come here for me not to get mad at those that didn't. Let's just see who is here, shall we? Mojo?

Mojo Jojo: Present and accounted for, though why I am is a question I want answered now and presently!

Him:{e.v}In a minute, oh impatient one!{e.v}Jamie Kellner, Mr Plotz, since you owe so much of your success to me and people like me, I know you wouldn't turn me down.

Plotz:{To Kellner}I knew there was a drawback to knowing guys like him, they know you too well!

Him: Yes, that's why I'm ready to stop you from hurting Princess since we have little time for revenge plans like that.

Princess: That's right, Thad, time is money and you're too broke to talk now.

Stewie Griffen: If time is that important, we can skip the role call and get to you telling us why you called us here!

Him: Are Pearl Forrester, Sedusca, Hannibal Lecter, Jafar, Hades, Dick Soaper, Jim Carrey, Alpha, Scrappy Doo, Evil Martin, Puppetmon, Dr Laura, Bane, the Evil Scientist, Gossamer, Bernie the dinosaur, and the Jolly Baker ready to hear the news as well because they're here?{The remaining crowd yells yes because the crowd is entirely made up of them, confirming the whole crowd is full of past H! villains}Very well, let us begin.

Alpha: So why are we here? Is it that time for another Histeria Haters club to form? At least this time we have strength in numbers.

Him: I made this group up of less famous villains of Histeria than others. Gene Burrows, Morre, Evil Loud, David Hicks, Slim Berry, and Slasho are the most famous H! villains, but for obvious reasons I couldn't get them here. Chris Zarret and Ricky Needs also weren't free to make an apperance.

Hades: And you call yourself a member of the underworld. Why didn't you just zap them here since they're so famous?

Him: Because, my annoying old friend, they are the most famous people those Histerians have faced and I wanted a meeting of everyone else that I could get-{e.v}in order to see who's the best around.

Dr Laura: So you grouped me with these degenerates? Well, I'll just take my award and go then.

Him: As with everything in villainy, this is not that easy. I haven't had much to gloat about since I met those brats last year, so proving that I'm better than you should fix that.

Dick Soaper: Thumbs down to that, you ripoff of Tiny Tim!

Scrappy Doo: Come over here and make that boast, I'll pound you back to-

Jafar: Yes, you do after he tells us why he's better. And do it quickly, I don't want to waste too much time thinking of how to top your answer.

Him: Something has come up in the world of Histeria that is perfect for my talents to ruin. Let me show you what that is before I ruin the happy pictures you shall see.

{Him makes a projecter appear nearby and he turns it on to show a picture on the wall of Robert and Felicia Information}

Him: This is Histeria writer Robert, the recent owner of a brand new girlfriend, who happens to be the sister of the sickening goody two shoes Miss Information. I'd show more pictures but they're not what you'd call suitable for family viewing. Felicia resorted to kidnapping her sister to get him and it worked. That's a good evil quality I plan to capitalize on.

Jim Carrey: Say that in freaky deakey English, buddy!

Him: My plan is to cause this new couple to break up, which will result in Felicia going mad and showing her evil qualities to the other Histerians as revenge, causing them all to destroy each other in the war that she will start. And eventually they will all go down, proving that I am better than the rest for doing it before you.

Mojo: And let us assume for a minute you don't succeed. How many ways can we taunt you for your incorrect boustings then?

Him: Well, this is such a good idea that in the off chance I don't succeed, you can try it out. It's a contest, you see. The first one to succeed in breaking the couple up and causing the Histerians to be destroyed in the aftermath will be the best villain around that isn't dead, in another universe, or in prison.

Jolly Baker: Does the fact that I'm not really evil and was driven that way by that blond girl's eating disorder hurt my chances?

Him: That excuse worked for Gene and Morre's popularity, not that you'll have a chance to join those ranks since I'm succeeding in this challengence!

Pearl: You called me away from my attempts to free my son from his frozen prison to brag?!

Evil Scientist: Now now, he said that if he failed, we'd get our chance to win this contest and I for one need to have something to brag about, so I'll be waiting right here when the devil guy comes back from his failure.

Sedusca: That will be my favorite part before I get my award. I never liked my old friend's nutball sister anyway so this won't be so difficult for me.

Hannibal Lecter: Oh please, as if you cutups will have better ideas than the one I have to end the relationship over a little dinner.

Him:{Pause}And they call you the scarest villain in movie history, any second rate campy villain ripping me off could have come up with the same lines. Besides, you seem to forget that I created this contest for me to feel good because{e.v}I'm breaking up this love fest!!

Bane: Not a chance, you don't have the muscles to really break them, unlike yours truely!

Kellner: And you don't have the greens to get really good weapons to blow them off the earth like I can, and probably will the next time they get me really really mad with their neverending jokes about my management.

Plotz: You could always borrow my spare weapons if you needed them.

Kellner: That was hardly your best way to suck up to me, improve that immediatly!

Plotz:{Meek}Yes sir.

Him:{f.v}All right, fine, on the off chance I fail you can stay around to plan your own ways to break then up instead of staying to listen to my bragging.

Puppetmon: If you want my company, you would prefer to do the failing part.

Him: Yes, but since I hate failure, the promise of your company isn't enough to make me take your threat seriously. Now, my projecter wil give you a live, break up by break up view of my plan and anyone who'd rather try to escape will find the doors a bit too unbreakable for your tastes. So, enjoy the show everyone- even though out there{e.v}I'll be doing the enjoying for all of us.{Him laughs and then fades away from the scene}

Stewie: And I thought Rupert Murdoch was overbearing! He's just lucky he doesn't have powers from the underworld or I'd really let "him" have it!

Hades: Trust me babe- heh, that's the first time I said that to an actual little baby, good for me- if I couldn't beat him in our weekly wrestling matches, your fancy little gizmos should just be burned down now so it'll spare him the trouble.

Stewie: I already knew that without you saying that, you toupee clad nitwit!

Plotz: Quiet! If he's going to make Histeria people miserable and destroyed, then we should give him our full support!

Princess: Oh, the many ways I could make fun of the reasons you want that to happen.

Plotz: And you were wise not to actually say any of them.

Kellner: Silence Plotz, it seems he's about to start.

{We now go to the H! studio. Specifically, we are in front of a door with the sign "Do Not Disturb" on the doorknob. Although we can't see what's going on, we can hear a few grunts and grouns nonetheless- and judging from the fact that everyone who walks by the door is wearing earmuffs, so can they. Finally they stop after it gets especially loud, and a few seconds later Robert comes out of the door}

Robert: All right everyone, it's safe to take off the earmuffs for at least a half hour! I'll be outside cooling off until then for obvious reasons.{He leaves and everyone takes off their earmuffs}

Charity: We were a little young to overhear the bedtime activities of one couple, let alone two and now this third one. Does that bother anyone?

R6: No, it's not as if they're getting good enough to challenge my efforts, and I'm not sure they'll last long enough to.

JusSonic: For once I get what you're saying and I'm not sickened by it. I mean, Felicia did stoop to kidnapping and worrying us sick to get this far. What if it doesn't work out and she responds by going haywire again?

Miss Info: Well that's not gonna happen, she loves Robert too much to let him go, and I'm guessing her "charms" have gotten him too excited to leave.

Loud: But does he only love her because of those charms?{Pause}Well, let's hope not that many villains were around to listen to that question.

{Outside, Robert is talking to a man with a grin just the tinest bit like a certain red guy}

Man: Do you only love her because of those "charms"?

Robert: Look, I've only know you for 2 minutes and that's because you said you were a fan of mine that heard I had a girlfriend, aren't we getting into personal questions a bit too quickly?

Man: But from what I heard, all you do is have fun that's more physical than emotional.

Robert: I think with all I've been through I deserve some physical fun, I mean, if R6 is allowed to do that 24/7 why can't I?

Man: I heard how you got together, only because she kidnapped Miss Information. And you didn't even have one conversation after that, she just kissed you and had her way.

Robert: You're honestly saying you'd just push someone like that away after a hello like that?!

Man: Well I wouldn't become so wrapped up in it that I wouldn't do anything else! Listen, a writer as talented as you should have a real girlfriend, someone who respects and loves you for who you are. From what I've heard from the people in the studio, this one just likes you because she wants her own torrid romance like her sister has, and do you even know why she picked you of all people to do that with?

Robert: Well, um, you seem to know so much that I was hoping you knew.

Man: I know that eventually you two will get tired of your fun, and when you do, how will you be able to carry on an actual relationship? True, the others here have done that, but they knew each other for a long time before they took that step, unlike some people.

Robert: So can you say the gist of this without making a big speech?

Man: You need to actually have a long, meaningful talk with her and straighten out a few issues you've been too busy to discuss. I think I gave enough reason to do so already, so why don't you just go to work on my suggestion now?

Robert: You're right, I will! But what if we can't solve the problems you mentioned?

Man: Then it's good you know she's not the one now before you got too addicted to the action she gave you.

Robert: I'm surprised you're so interested in talking to me and not R6 with innuendo like that. But I'm sure glad you did. Excuse me.{He leaves and a second later, the man talks in the voice of his true identity- Him}

Man:{In Him's f.v}Peerrfect. In a matter of moments the writer will express too many emotional desires for her to answer to, thanks to me. Then all that's left is the inevitable fight and breakup and a mad woman's emotional rampage on the writer's friends. Oh, then their doom and my honor as best of all villains will come too, can't forget about that.{Yawns}Well, since the plan is assured to be a success I can just go back home to sleep and watch all the gore on tape tomorrow before I start my gloating. Pleasent dreams, "friends"{e.v}Pleasent screams!

{Once again, Him cackles and dispapears in a puff of red smoke. We then fade to the next day at the meeting place of the villains, where they are all talking amongst themselves}

Mojo: Look, shooting one of them down with one of my many death rays would count as breaking them up, so don't go telling me I'm not following the rules!

Seducsa: Come on, you don't wanna do it that quickly! Now giving the writer some pleasure with charms like mine before Felicia kills him in a jealous rage, that's more of a classic idea.

Carrey: Give me 10 minutes along with them although it'll only take me 5 to do the job, I need that extra time to dance on their graves! Hah, now what guy that's only good at comedy and not drama could say a cool sinister line like that, I ask?!

Stewie: You all love wasting time since you're planning ideas even though I'm the one that shall succeed!

Jafar: Bragging like an idiot didn't work for that Him fellow, so what makes you think it will in your case?

Stewie: Because I'm brilliant, and hypnotizing me with that snake staff won't make me think otherwise, I literally have the technology to make that so!

Him:{V.O}I'd rather talk about that delightfully sinister looking fellow's comments, if you don't mind.{Him reappears on stage}Now, what was that he said about bragging not working for me?

Jafar: You just repeated exactly what I said so you should know. Your plan failed miserably.

Him: I know some villains have trouble making jokes, but this is ridculous.

Evil Scientist: Well you were the one too confident to actually see what happened, so how would you know? On the other hand, we saw the live video feedback of them not fighting at all, so I think we're in the right here. You can even go into your disguise and check it out your-{He sees Him disappear}Excellent, let the thanks for me driving him away for a while begin.

{Back at the WB lot, Him has reappeared in his human disguise and starts searching for the couple, and after a while, he finds them}

Robert: Oh, there he is, there's the guy that saved our relationship before it was in any real danger to start with.

Him: Heh, that's who you think I am?

Felicia: Apperantly you fit the bill. I mean, I was a bit insulted that he thought something was lacking with us after he heard from you, but once I calmed down and help come up with lots of fun, nonsexual stuff for us to do the rest of the day, I realized you deserve all that praise.

Robert: If it wasn't for you brining this to our attention so we could fix it like mature people, we might not have realized there was a problem until it was too late. Thank you, um, what was your name again?

Him:{Bitter}Sorry, I'm a bit too choked up with happiness for me to remember right now.

Robert: Well, if anyone earned the right to do that, it's you, oh savior. Now I can enjoy our fun time a lot more knowing it's with someone I truely love, so thanks for giving me a head start to finding that out again.

{Him then screams in his evil voice and poofs away in red smoke yet again. Robert and Felicia just stare blankly for a minute}

Felicia: Which one of your evil enemies was that?

Rpbert: The one from Townsville with the creepy high pitched voice, it looks like. Oh well, I'll take any good situation I can get, even from someone who was likely trying to get us to kill each other and failed miserably.

{We now go to Him reappearing at the villains hideout}

Mojo: It was a bad joke, he says. I couldn't have possibly failed, he doesn't say in those exact words but he hints at that praise endlessly.

Him:{f.v}This was supposed to be my comeback. This was supposed to be the end of the taunts I got from my underworld friends. This was supposed to be the time when they stopped saying that they could understand me losing to superpowered girls all the time, but not humans that no one liked when they were on TV.

Princess: Hey, it's not like you're the only one here that's had to put up with people saying that.

Alpha: You try putting up with insulting jokes from your fellow aliens about losing to humans day after day, then we can talk.

Kellner: My stockholders can certainly cause me to relate to that.

Lecter: I don't think I can join the group, although the pig they sicked on me hurt like the place two of our teammates come from. It seems that we've all suffered from the Histerians, but the question is- who can succeed in getting rid of their pain more? Therefore, I think it's fair to answer that by accepting Him's earlier proposal.

Soaper: Breaking up that relationship could very well create a chain reaction that could bring them all down, I'm sure there are many films to back that up.

Bernie: Then let's prove it ourselves. Let's just find out who's the best in forfilling all our dreams instead of wasting our time giving hugs!

Pearl: Clayton would want me to carry on his work, even though when I thaw him out he might seem upset after I tell him I got rid of his enemies, but he'll get over it.

Hades: You know, we could keep getting our two cents in on why we want revenge instead of actually figuring out how to do it, but I won't complain since I'm used to being around lazy people.

Scrappy Doo: Then let's stop being lazy, let's go do this with or without the red guy's help!

Him:{e.v}Let's go with with. I just took myself out of the running in the contest, but that doesn't mean I can't organize it. If I can't break them up and start the doom of those brats, then I'm gonna really enjoy seeing one of you do it. Come on, let's go organize the order of the contestants and then let the real fun begin.

{All of the villains start to laugh for a long time as we pan back to see that their hideout is in a deserted area covered with snow. And as we close up to the window of the building, we see a shadow partially covering it}

Voice: Oooh boy.....

{We now go back to the H! studio, where there is a knock on the front door and Felicia answers it to see Jim Carrey}

Carrey:{Wacky}Well hellloooooo baby!! And I have a special friend that wants to say hi too!{Turns around and bends over, but Felicia shuts the door before he can reneact his talking out of his butt bit from Ace Ventura}Okay guys, that shouldn't really count as my entire chance here, so don't zap me out before I get my chance to really annoy them!

{Back at the hideout, the villains are watching Carrey on a projecter}

Mojo: Why did we let him go first again other than to make us feel confident that we could do better when our turn came up?

Him:{f.v}Well he is annoying enough to drive them so crazy that they'd do anything to shut him up, like break up.{The projecter then shows Carrey opening a window which is then shut in his face}Of course, we're working on the premise that he can actually get near them.

Carrey: Come on guys, just because I tried to stomp you guys in South Park means I can't talk to you at all, is that it? You know, I'm still marketable enough for studio executives to make mucho money off of!

Loud:{V.O}Melman, we can do this with us crushing you with mallets or dogpiling you so you don't open the door, you have the choice to not make us do any of that though!

R6:{V.O}Wait, you're actually saying you _wouldn't_ want to do that stuff?! No one I'm proud to know would say that in front of me!!

Carrey: Can I just come in and do my comedy act for you, then I promise I'll go away and you won't have to hold Melman back for the whole day.{The door immediatly opens}Wow, to think none of the other villains would have nothing to complain about if they used that tactic.

{Inside, Carrey is finishing off his comedy act}

Carrey:{Singing loudly}La la la la la, I'm so great, I'm so funny, I'm like a God- which I will be playing this May so see it then or I'll have to sing to you a lot mmmmoooorrreeeee!!!!{His audience gives tiny claps}Wait, no criticism about how much of an egotist I am?

Robert: We've pretty much be desensitized to egotists right now, being around people like Kellner and Plotz can do that to you.

Carrey: All right then, I didn't want to resort to this too easy tactic, but I will. It's time for insult comedy!{To Felicia}Hey Melissa. Oops, I meant Felicia, but you can get how I made that mistake. Then again, since you're a kidnapping nut and she was your victim, I guess it shouldn't have been that hard.

Felicia: That was hardly the best insult about me that I ever heard.

Carrey: It's okay, I got more! Like the one where Dougherty here is a nerdy geek of a nerd with no life!

Robert: Like I haven't been subjected to taunts like that at school.

Carrey:{Starting to panic}Wait wait, there's the one about Melman being dumb and Charity being anorexic and Toast being a stoner and-

Aka: For a supposedly great comedian, you can't come up with any new material.

Carrey: Neither can they and no one complains about that! What do I have to do to get you mad enough to be driven crazy by me?!{Carrey then disappears}

Pepper: How'd he do that?! He was here one minute and then he vanished! It's gonna drive me crazy trying to find out where he went!!

Toast:{Hurt}Hey, some of us think they've done a good job in the craziness thing as it is, babe.

{Back at the villains hideout, Carrey is raiding his objections to the others}

Carrey: Why'd you get me away, they were just about to tell me how I could drive them crazy enough for those two to break up to get me to leave!

Mojo: We ddn't want to feel too confident that we could do better than you "funny man" But I will do better than you because I'm next.

Him:{f.v}Remember Mojo, no shooting or using any lasers, a true evil mastermind doesn't need to use those to succeed.

Mojo: Do those rules say anything about not using mechanical chips to control their every move and get them to do things they jormally wouldn't, like hate someone?

Him: No, I think we missed outlawing that one, but it's to late now I suppose.

{Cut back to the lot as Robert and Felicia are taking a walk through the studio}

Robert: Ah, despite all the time we spend inside, fresh air is still good enough to really enjoy.

Felicia: Was that one of your fancy metaphors? Not that there's anything wrong with them but they get pretty confusing sometimes.

Robert: You knew that about me when you researched who you wanted to be with, so no use complaining now.{The two stop}Hey, what's that?

Felicia: It's a bowl of potato chips, it doesn't seen that hard to make out at all.

Robert: My hunger is thankful for that.

Felicia: I won't question that one since I'd like a few of those myself.

{The two walk over to the bowl and chips and take a few of them to eat, but what they don't see is that in the center, there is a chip shaped like a V with something lumpy in the center. We then see Mojo about to explain things from behind a building}

Mojo: Perfect, once one of them eats that V-Chip, my mind control chip will enter the body and be impossible to retrive. Then nothing can stop me from controlling the mind and movements of whoever swallows it, making the breakup and my rightful place as king of evil most assured!

{We see Robert chwoing down on the chips before he finally picks up the V-Chip. He doesn't notice the unusual shape because he's too busy eating, but he stops when he takes a bite of the V-Chip- though not the part with the mind control chip inside- and he spits it out}

Robert: Ew, yuck! What kind of nasty potato chip is this! I don't even care about how unusual it looks, I know it tastes bad and that's enough evidence to throw this away for me!{Throws the chip far into the air}

Mojo: Curses!! I must have been so busy trying to get the chip inside the potato flavored chip that I forgot to make it edible like the others!! What kind of lame way to fail is-{He stops as the remains of the V-Chip land right into Mojo's open mouth and he swallows it}Ah, what the?! Ah, I swallowed it!! Not that'd I'd bother to control myself, but if my technology got into the right hands anyone else could!{He noisly tries to give himself the Hemlich right as the couple near him notice and then Mojo is taken away magically from the scene}

Felicia: Wasn't that the blowhard genius monkey from Townsvile that won't shut up?

Robert: Yep, but we can worry about that after finishing the last few crumbs here.

{Robert starts licking the bowl for the last few crumbs as, back at the villain's place, Mojo is giving orders}

Mojo: Fine, if the dog won't go inside of me to get that chip, then where's that puppet?!

Puppetmon: Um, they asked me to get snacks for them at the nearest town, so I'll go do that!

Dr Laura: I thought Him told me I was gonna go do that! Have you been making plans behind my back?! Do you know how many people I can call over here to protest against you until your head blows up?!

Mojo: Look, it's not like whoever's gonna get this thing out fo me has a choice in the matter, so just get it over with right now so I don't have to use my lasers, k?

Soaper: Fine, you do that while I get the job done.

Alpha: And how can you possible do that, you're nothing but an unpopular film critic with bad judgement.

Soaper: True, but I know my movie cliches, like the one with...mistaken identity.

{Later that night, we see Soaper sneaking into the H! studio and tiptoeing through the place}

Soaper: Now to find that palace I've heard so much about, and then my friend Mr hair dye will have his day in the spotlight.

{Soaper pulls out a spray can and soon finds himself at the front door of Miss Info's palace. He then pulls out a lockpick and prepares to unlock the door}

Soaper: Wait a minute. As much as a cliche my plan is, what would be even more predictable is me walking in to find that the target is not asleep and is, well, engaged with someone inside. I'd never get anything done after that.{Presses his ear to the door}Oh well, I can wait until they fall asleep. Yes sir, I can wait.

{Fade to the crack of dawn the next morning, where at that point, Soaper has fallen asleep}

Soaper:{Mumbling}Yep, any minute now they'll stop and my plan will begin.{Soaper is then kicked by a foot and wakes up to find the owner of the foot, Robert, standing next to him}

Robert: You were planning to dye Miss Info's hair brunette so I'd think she's Felicia and I would get romantic with her?

Soaper: How could you know that, if such a thing was true?

Robert: I'd see someone about your problem of muttering in your sleep, if I was you.

Soaper: Rats.{Gets up}

Robert: I know it's hard coming up with evil plans when you're forced into evil by those who hated your opinions.

Soaper: That's right! I mean, Larry Flynt was ruled to be okay to do the sick things he did because it was freedom of speech, and yet when I say what I said about your adventures, I get treated like dirt! It isn't fair, I have my right to say your stories were hackeyned and stupid if Larry Flynt can do what he did in that overated film of his!

Robert: I know, I know, we should treat you better. I mean, you're just a simple, ordinary- oops!

{He says that because he then "accidentally" pushes Soaper towards an open door and he goes inside and bangs right into the person who lives in that room- JusSonic, who then gets up to see that the fall knocked out one of his teeth}

JusSonic:{After seeing who's in his room}Oh, so you hate the Rugrats and my teeth, do you?!!

Soaper: Um....can you at least promise you won't beat me up like last time?

JusSonic: You want promises? YOU CAN'T HANDLE PROMISES EVEN IF YOU DESERVED THEM!!!{The beating begins}

{A few minutes later, we see a banged up Soaper in the villains hideout}

Soaper:{Slurred}Why didn't you pull me out of there like you did with the others?

Him: Because we needed something to laugh at and your screams were too funny to stop.

Soaper: Oh ha ha ha, that's almost as funny as the fact that none of us have won yet.

Stewie: Then let the laughter stop now! It is time for me to prove myself as the king of you freaks, after all, those Warner brats and a certain big headed mouse regard me as their best foe, so doing this should be no problem. I don't even mind using an old tactic to do it.

{At the lot a while later, Stewie flys in using his flying chair from Revenge of the Villains 1. He then lands and pushes a few buttons, and what then appears is something that looks exactly like Robert}

Stewie: Welcome, my stock footage version of Mr Dougherty! You shall now take the real Dougherty's place while he's away on errands and say enough naughty things to make Felicia not suspect that it's not really her lover saying them, and cause her to kill the real him and everyone else in here!

Stock footage Robert:{Badly dubbed in}That's a cliche talking like that and revealing your whole plan.

Stewie: I like cliches because I hate surprises, now go in there and surprise her for a jolt!

{The stoke footage Robert goes into the studio and walks by everyone}

Charity: Hey Robert, I thought you were coming back with groceries for us.

Stock footage Robert: Sorry, I forgot. Excuse me while I see my loved one.

Charity: How come you sound funny and you moved your lips after you finished talking?

Stock footage Robert: I didn't come here to talk to you, so go away before my, um, um{Briefly in Stewie's voice}}Blast, what the devil kind of phrase can I use?{In Robert's voice}before my undecided deals with you, now go!{Walks off}

Charity: Luckly I didn't understand a word of that or I'd have gotten Loud ready to kick him to the curb by now.

{Stock footage Robert wanders the studio for Felicia until he finally finds her}

Felicia: My love, you're back!! Thank you for making only 20 minutes without you a long enough fate!

Stock footage Robert: You're welcome, you old-{He stops as Felicia jumps right on him}

Felicia: You don't need to tell me you msised me, why don't you show it? It is about time for our pre dinner fun time anyway, let's get a head start.

Stock footage Robert: Sure, you dimb-{Stops as Felicia drags him off to her room}What a grip for a feeble minded bi-

Felicia: What was that, did I hear you talking? I don't even have time to hear that, because your lips need to concintrate on touching certain things and parts instead of speaking stuff I can't hear because I'm-

{Felicia then closes the door to the room so we can't hear the rest, but a few seconds later the stock footage Robert comes out and runs away}

Stock footage Robert:{In Stewie's voice}Ahhh!! My young eyes and ears should not be forced to hear and see that!! If this is what it takes to succeed in evil, not even I'm willing to pay that price!{Felicia runs back to him}

Felicia: What's going on, you liked it when I said stuff like that!

Stock footage Robert:{Still as Stewie}Then the real Mr Dougherty is even more sick than I could have ever imagined! You two deserve each other!!{The stock footage Robert then fades away and from a window, Felicia sees Stewie fly away on his chair in a big hurry. Just then the real Robert returns with groceries}

Robert: Aw, why didn't you call and tell me you were torturing Stewie Griffen, we're supposed to share special moments like that!

{Back at the hideout, Him is getting mad}

Him:{e.v}And I thought people were idiots before, but to name someone with a weak stomach like that as a real villain, well that just takes the cake!!

Alpha: Then maybe someone with a more advanced stomach should take the next shot at this.

Jafar: No, we agreed that someone with magic would go after the baby, i.e me. And I think it would be hard for them to carry on a relationship when one of them is trapped in the Cave of Wonders forever.

Him: We're villains, but we're not cheats! The idea is to make them break up by starting an arguement that will make Felicia angry enough to bring doom on the rest of them!

Jafar: Oh all right, though that idea was hardly the most predictable one that I had.

{That night, Felicia is the one taking a walk through the lot this time before she runs into an old man- one that looks a lot like the old man disguise Jafar used in the original Aladdin}

Felicia: Okay, what kind of villain are you supposed to be?

Jafar:{In an old man voice}I'm no villain, I'm too old and feeble to pose much of an threat if I was. Besides, could someone who sells the best trinkets in the world be evil?{Jafar pulls out a suitcase filled with lovely jewelry}

Felicia: No, I suppose that would be stupid.

Jafar: Yes it would, look at all my selections. Try on this bracelet for example.{Felicia gets out a bracelet from the case and trys it on}Look at it, isn't it precious?

{The more Felicia looks at it, the more she starts to be entranced by it}

Felicia:{In a trance}Yes...it is.

Jafar:{Normal voice}You are under my control. You will do whatever I say. As proof, you will get into a huge arguement with Robert Dougherty and then take your anger from it out on every single Histerian around you.

Felicia: I will...I will...

Voice: What what what, what's the meaning of this?!{Chit walks in}So, cutting in on my turf, old man?!

Jafar: Go away idiot, you'd prefer that she do you in when the time comes than me, I promise you.

Chit: Ooh, I'm so scared, look at all these scary weapons of destruction to scare me, blah blah blah!{Chit pulls off Felicia's necklace and stomps it to the ground, as well as Jafar's other items}Well there you go, I finally get to say that I saved the day from this oh so frightening threat!

Jafar:{Menacing}You'll never know just how right you are. In fact I really should do you in right now.

Felicia: What happened?{Sees Jafar}Hey, I know you! Robert showed me that Aladdin movie to warn me on how to recognize you and your disguises! And he showed me tricks like this too.

{Felicia pulls Jafar's fake beard back and when she lets go he falls hard to the ground. She then kicks him a few times for good measure}

Jafar: I don't have to put up with this! Losing is one thing, but losing to, to, that!{Points to Chit}Forget the contest, I'm-{Jafar is then zapped away as Robert runs into the scene}

Chit: Hey, another person is here to praise my heroism! In fact, if you show enough praise for the fact that I saved your girlfriend, I could even think about thinking of giving you a discount.

Robert:{Sighs}Let me worry about me actually having to do that later. So it was Jafar this time?

Felicia: How come all these villains are after us all of a sudden?

Robert: That's how they work, one big thing happens like what we've put together and they try to take advantage of it. But they've had no success then and now, so the only thing bad about it is we have to stay up later to humilate them.

{This last part is seen on the villain's projecter at their hideout as Jafar rants}

Jafar: Yes, we are experts at being humilated, and now we know that even salesmen can do it. So why not let me silence their taunts by putting fire all over their lips?!

Him: You happen to be an admired villain in my eyes, I didn't want them to tarnish your rep any further than they already did.

Jafar: What's the point of this contest anyway, I am now free to ask? We all want to destroy them, we're all together, we have all the superpowers in the world, and for once we outnumber them! Why not just go down there and smoke them out together right here and now?!

Princess: Then how are we supposed to know who the best villain is?! Of course if we changed the rules to say the wealthest one is the best, then you could give me my award and we could all go home before they embarass us some more.

Kellner: Come talk to me when you buy a movie studio without having to give it back to someone who won't let you forget such events.

Plotz: You realize I'd blow my stack if anyone but you said that, right sir?

Hades: All right, we'll save the stack blowing some other time, can we just let our remaining lame guests take their shot quickly so I can go faster? We got enough time to get at least 3 of you in for your scheduled beating.

Bane: Funny you mentioned beating, I was just about to show one right now to certain people.

Puppetmon: And when you're finished putting a few cracks in the ground, you'll please scrape yourself off the floor long enough for Martin and me to succeed, right?

Bane: Only if you're volunteering to scrape them off when I'm done.

Evil Martin: Well, we'll just see about that, won't we?

{Cut to the next morning as those same three villains are sadly walking through the snowy woods with groceries}

Bane: Um, which one of those guys back there can see the future? I wanna pound him for not letting us see what happened before we did it!

Evil Martin: Oh, blame someone else for you colliding into buildings like a charging bull before you captured one of those two, that's productive.

Puppetmon: Perfect Martin, you just had to give him an excuse to mention the fire trick that Felicia woman used on me.

Evil Martin: If anyone has a right to do that, it's me. I mean, you screamed so loudly when she put that fire inches from you that I couldn't even pull off my plan since I was too embarassed to be seen with you!

Bane: Those other bad guys were lucky that there was too many of them for me to pound for laughing at my crashing into buildings!

{The three villains start arguing anew as we now go to a bush nearby, where a shadow covers it and a deep voice is heard}

Voice: Brilliant, they're all falling over themselves in failure. I'll just wait til they all knock themselves out of the running before I give them an uninvited villain to declare their champion. Then, at last the world will bow down to me, their true and deserving overlord!{Laughs}

{Back at the hideout, Him is reading a list}

Him: And with last night's 4 disasters, the only ones left to make us ashamed to be evil are Pearl Forrester, Sedusca, Princess, Hannibal Lecter, Hades, Kellner, Plotz, Alpha, Scrappy Doo, Dr Laura, the Evil Scientist, Gossamer, Bernie the dinosaur, and the Jolly Baker. Who wants to change my pessimistic atitude now?

Dr Laura: I'm sorry, I'm too busy preparing for my radio show today to answer that.

{Cut to a radio station where Dr Laura is at work at her regular job as a radio host}

Dr Laura: What kind of a world do we live in? A world where kids can be surrounded by villains and have to fight to save their lives day after day, and be subjected to sex jokes and sexually active people in their very own home night after night! Do we want that to happen for maybe not our kids, but for any kind of kid?! I say no, and I say it's time we did something about it!

Voice: And cut to a commercial!{A man them walks in front of Dr Laura}

Dr Laura: Excuse me, I had another minute before a commercial, what's going on?!{The man's head changes to the head of Hades}Oh good, you can praise me for this idea before they do.

Hades: Look, Him was getting tired of coming to talk to you people, so he sent me, and so I'd better hear something good for my trouble. What's with the call to war, we're here to break up a couple.

Dr Laura: That's just one of the things that will happen. I have a radio audience large enough to do my bidding, and after I inform them of the immoral muck done to and in front of those Histeria kids, they'll be repulsed enough to come down there and take down all the adults in order to save those kids from their dirty private time actions.

Hades: And this forfills the rules of the contest how?

Dr Laura: Who cares, this will bring them all down far better than the mere breaking up of a couple! Our goals was to make them miserable and this will, and maybe the strain will cause them to go their seperate ways. And if not, at least I broke them apart for my troubles.{The on air sign above Laura's head is turned on although she can't see it}So my plan to cause my idiot listeners to break up the Histerians themselves is too good to follow the rules, therefore...screw your contest!!!

Hades: Wow, I'm impressed. I wonder if your loyal listeners are too.{Dr Laura now realizes what has happened, that her listeners heard her every word}

Dr Laura: Um....WHO'S THE IDIOT THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO TELL ME I WAS BACK ON THE AIR?!!

Hades: Oh, that was the guy I knocked out and dressed up as to get in here, thanks for clearing that up for me.

Dr Laura: You're welcome, now if you'll excuse me, I have escape routes from angry mobs to find.{Runs off}

{Cut to the headquarters of Jamie Kellner, surrounded by the expected demonic furniture. Plotz is with him}

Kellner: Okay Plotz, we have all the money we need to get people to think of good ideas for us, what would you accept as a good idea?

Plotz: Well, we know we can't reuse my earlier plan to make reporters think they're broken up, that's for sure. But we can buy millions of other ideas instead of wasting our remaining brain cells, that's also for sure!

Kellner: Yes, no one with our resources could possibly fail, of that I'm so confident that I dare to defy fate by saying again, NO ONE!!!

{The scene then goes on pause since we see it on pause on the villain's projecter}

Him:{e.v}Unless we're so bored that we need to see Princess showing up with bought ideas and Kellner and Plotz money fighting with her for the rest of the day, we can move on.

Evil Scientist: Good, then we can move forward with our plan. Gossamer here needed some special technology to make him look as handsome as he is, as Miss Felicia shall see.{Pulls out a laser gun}All Gossamer needs is one shot and he can turn Felicia into the female lookalike of him he always wanted.

Mojo: As if furry people are ugly and unlovable to humans, is that the stereotype you're renacting?!

Evil Scientist: At this point I'll take anything I can get, stereotypical or not!

Him:{f.v}Wait, didn't one of Jafar's friends already try making the girls look ugly in order to get the guys to stop loving them? Gee, that worked so well it just has to be tried again.

Evil Scientist: Look, just because an idea failed the first time doesn't mean it'll fail again, and aren't we past caring about such things?!

Pearl: Maybe if you made the guy ugly it would be less of a problem for Him. Besides, women kind needs all the beautiful people it can find to fool men.

Evil Scientist: But it's not like the writer is Brad Pitt rencarnated, besides, she'd probably think that him being a monster would be a turn on! Can I at least try my original idea before you tear it apart?!

Him:{e.v}Oh all right, but I'm telling you it will fail on it's face, like Seduca's unimaginative plan to seduce Robert and Lecter's plan to cut the faces off of one of those two to make the other too horrified to be in love!

Seduca: Come on, the fact that I'm facing the sister of my ex co best friend is too interesting a plot line to ruin by putting down my time honored way of work!

Lecter: Oh, like me getting attacked by pigs by them isn't "interesting" enough of a reunion plot?

Alpha: In the words of particually stupid humans, hello? Alien who's lost with a record two villians group here!

Bernie: STOP IT, STOP IT!!!! CAN'T YOU SEE THIS FIGHTING IS TEARING US ALL APART?!!!{Pause}Hmm, I knew being around actual actors so often on a TV studio would rub off on me one day.

Jolly Baker: He is right though, we can't get into fights and the habit of coming up with dumb ideas.

Scrappy Doo: But if we count those idiots out with their dumb ideas, we only got Pearl, Hades, Alpha, Bernie, the Baker, and me left, and those other guys already used their best ideas. Luckly I can cover for them.

Lecter: Hey, if I can't cut people up again you can't become a giant again either!

Scrappy Doo: Oh, just because you were in a "Oscar winning movie", and that's one good movie out of the _4_ you made, means you can call the shots?!

Mojo: Stop it, I do not want to hear the dinosaur's loud, idiotic pleas for peace again!

Him:{e.v}THEN HEAR MINE!!! What's the use, we've been taken down too much already and no one has any better ideas for redemption, or for that matter, any original plans!! I say we leave now and plan our supid plans seperately so we don't have to listen to these dumb arguements as well as our screams of failure!!

Everyone: Fine!!!

{The villains then start packing up, which we see through the window as the deep voice talks again}

Voice: Well, that was quick, and it makes me glad I snuck out of the house this early. Now I can go ahead and start my ultimate chaotic plan of doom right now!{The voice starts to get more squeaky}And just in time too, it sure is getting s-sweaty under this hockey mask.

{We then see a white mask go down on the ground and then hear a knock on the front door}

Jolly Baker: Hey, not only did this Him guy fail in evil plans, he failed to pick a good secret hideout! Who found us out?!

Him: You all find your way out the back, maybe there's a cop outside who I can have "fun" with.

{The other villains hide as Him turns into a regular human again and opens the door. He then looks down to see who it is}

Voice:{Completly squeaky}H-hello, is this the hideout of evil villains trying to destroy the Histerians?

{Him now starts to chuckle at the sight of who the owner of the voice is- South Park's own Butters}

Butters: Aw come on, all those scary evil guys couldn't have gotten out of there that quickly, I saw them. W-well, maybe some of the super powered ones and that freaky red devil guy could have, but-

{Him pulls Butters into the room and changes back to his old self}

Him: Who hired you to spy on us?! I must say they like sending their spys fashionably late!

Butters:{Nervous}I-I-I-I was sent by one of the best evil villains around, will that help me?{The other villains come out}

Carrey: Hey, I know him! He was one of those rotten kids I saw in that whole South Park "incident" I asked you never to talk about in front of me! I knew there was something familar about this place!

Butters: Actually, this place isn't that far away from South Park, that's how I got here so quickly and, and that's where those 2 small guys and the tall guy got their food and stuff earlier.

Evil Martin: What did I tell you about spouting out exposition out loud, Puppet boy?!

Alpha: Can we just blast him away now so we'll have something to look back on foundly from this disaster?!

Him:{f.v}Wait, he said something about representing a supervillain.

Butters: Yeah, that's right, I know a really bad and all around not nice villain that can help you with that contest thing of yours. And he's met the Histerians before, so you can't keep him out cause of that!

Mojo: Oh yeah, call all those other Disney freaks from that Christmas debaccle and they'll tell you a different story!

Jafar: You're not honestly saying that we have to delay that from happining by staying here until another poor excuse for evil shows up?

Butters: Hey, he may have had some poor plans that classic TV shows already did before, but it's not like you guys did any better before!{Nervous}I mean, I'm just saying that cause I saw all the bruises on you guys earlier, it's just what I saw, that's all.

Pearl: Didn't we already try laughing at pathetic people already to cheer us up?

Him: Welll.....I suppose one quick laugh couldn't hurt, get him out here!

Butters: Really? Oh boy, I'm so- I, I mean he'll be happy to hear that, wait right here!

{Butters runs outside and picks up a medium sized bag containing his Professor Chaos costume}

Butters: Wow, I can't believe I get to plan chaos with the best in the business! Okay, calm down Butters or whoever I am right now, I just gotta worry about making my enterance and then they'll really listen to me!

{Inside, the villains are chatting and trading insults until a dark shadow covers the front door}

Butters: Prepare yourself, oh puny fellow evil ones, for your true number one companion....{He comes in as...}Professor Chaos!!{Laughs for quite some time until he's interrupted by the villains laughter}

Puppetmon: Thank you Him, if you did nothing else right, and you didn't, you sent this guy here for a good laugh to send us home!

Him:{Almost choking on laughter}Luckly for you I'm too busy to respond to that insult!

Butters:{Sad}Oh, so you don't wanna hear my plan to make Mr Dougherty think Miss Felicia is cheating on him after all?

Seduca: Hey, it's not so funny when you're ripping off my so called "stupid" ideas!

Butters: But you wanted to make Robert cheat on her, and I'm trying to make it only look like she cheated on him, so how can I have ripped you off? It doesn't make any sense.

Soaper: I hope this plan of yours makes more sense then, though I'm used to watching things on the big screen that don't.

Butters: Well, um, my plan is that we call Miss Felicia and tell her to come to a fictional town near here for a ce-celebration honoring her as a new cast member. You super powered people can make that happen, then I can take pictures of her going through the town. When she comes back, you guys can alter the pictures with neato computers to make it look like she's hanging out with another guy, then we'll give those pictures to Mr Dougherty and he'll think from seeing those pictures that she's cheating on something more s-serious than a test, and then all that fighting you wanted will start!{Laughs and then stops}So, um, when are you gonna tell me that's stupid or that it's ripping a TV show off? I know using naughty pictures to break up a couple was done in Simpsons episode 7G10, "Homer's Night Out" but those were real pictures on that show, not like mine! Were you gonna mention that?

Mojo: So....why would we need to create a town to take these pictures?

Butters: Um, well, this way she can't say she wasn't at the place where she did all that naughty b-business.

Evil Scientist: Wouldn't he suspect that one of us sent him those pictures and forged them since so many of us attacked him lately?

Butters: You don't have to send then, I will. He likes me and thinks that I'm too unlucky to do anything good in evil, so he'll believe it more if someone he likes like me sends them.

Hades: If you're so stupid, why would we prove we're stupid too by doing this?

Butters: Well...my, my Mom, I mean, Butter's Mom tried to kill him when she saw his Dad cheating on her, so just think how someone like Miss Felicia would react to pictures like that, probably crazy enough to go pretty, well, crazy!

Alpha: I have to admit that makes sense.{Everyone murmers their agreement}

Seduca: Wait, you're gonna try his plan when you just dismissed those of those who were actually invited?! You should at least let us try our plans before you let this final travesty happen, it's only fair!

Scrappy: I thought we didn't like anything to do with fairness.

Him: Okay then, you all can try your plans and then, if they fail, and they will, we'll see how badly this new one does- although it does sound better than the other ones we've had around here lately.

Butters: Really? You mean you like my idea? Does this mean I can be more surprised that they'll succeed before I get my chance?

{Cut to a scene where Seduca and Felicia are karate fighting, and Felicia soon has the upper hand. Just then the scene rewinds to the beginning and we see the H! cast watching this scene on tape}

Robert: Ooh, this is the part where you got her with the kick to the head!

Felicia: Thankfully I like that enough to forget how I got into that mess to start with.

Robert: Hey, I may have looked fooled by her seductive disguise but not that much! Now, let's check out your moves on Lecter after he tried to cut you up.

Miss Info: Good, it was getting a bit uncomfy seeing my ex friend getting so throughly beat up. But it's not so bad seeing someone as too hungry as that Hannibal guy getting it, and neither is that scene where Alpha got beat up yet again by us.

{Just then a phone rings nearby}

Felicia: I'll get it.{Picks up the phone nearby}Hello? What? A ceremony celebrating my arrival here, where? In Colorado? Come alone? For a few days? You know how hard that would be, right? Well, it would be a good test for me to stay away from him that long. Okay. Okay, bye?{Hangs up}Guess what?

Charity: You're going to a convention in Colorado celebrating your arrival here for the next few days by yourself? That's not as hard to figure out as why we actually used a phone that wasn't a cell phone for once.

Robert: So, you're going away?

Felicia: You survived 18 years without me, you can survive 2-3 days.

Robert: That's an untraditionally short way to make me feel a tiny bit better.

{Back at the hideout, the villains and Butters are watching the scene on their projecter}

Him: Excellent, she'll be near here tomorrow, and by then we'll have set up a whole town for her to walk around in, setting the stage for our new little schemer to "click away" with his click click plan of, well, clicking!

Evil Scientist: Yes, that looks like that's how it's gonna be. And me not being able to try out my ugly ray because Lecter failed with an almost similar plan certainly helps this plan move quicker, I suppose.

Jafar: You know, it is funy that we can use our superpowers to create an entire town, but yet we can't be active enough to just go over to the studio and zap them all to the ground together as a team.

Hades: Look, Him already said this would make them suffer more, do you really want him ranting about that again? Besides, for an incompent and somewwhat stupid kid, this guy has a pretty good plan for us.

Butters: Aw, well I just figured that s-since I ripped off plans from the Simpsons, ripping off stuff that happened to my parents- I, I mean Butter's parents would be more succesful. Plus like I said, he'll believe the pictures if I tell him I took them because he likes me.

Bernie: If he likes you, why are you planning to ruin his life? Not that I mind, especially since singing songs about friendship and love can really turn you off those things for some time.

Butters: It's not that I don't like him, well, it's just that I've been so bad at making chaos so far in this new career I chose that I need to get suc-success from someone's misery. Not that I'm not evil enough to get all that, mind you, I've tried to do some really nasty things like switch table orders at Bennigan's and even go so far as to mess up the clothes in my closet, if that's not evil I don't know what is!

Soaper: Then maybe you should go home before we get tempted to figure out what evil is.

Butters:{Panics}Oh no, I do have to get home before my parents ground me from even seeing if my-my great evil plan worked! But home's so far away and I wasn't supposed to build a super powered bike until tomorrow, so-{Him then zaps Butters away}

Him:{f.v}Now that I've stoped him from making us regret our newest choice of a partner{e.v}let's get down to business.

{Thus begins a montage sequence starting at night as Him, Jafar, and Hades use their powers to create a medium sized town in the deserted snowy ground. The next morning, Felicia has to be dragged away from Robert into the limo that then drives her away from the W.B studio. Following that, we see her enter the town and walk around it for a minute, and interacting with people inside the town, even though they're probably created by the villains- and a few people are just the villains in poor disguises. Not only that, Butters is behind a bush nearby wearing a fake mustache as a disguise, and he starts taking pictures. Later on we see the villains taking a look at said pictures}

Mojo: So when can we start using my brilliant computer technology to put in her new "boy toy"? as the less intelllegent people of this planet say?

Carrey: Hopefully a lot quicker than the time Him is going to tell us, the lesser the time the lesser the big mouth can squawk.

Him:{f.v}We're ready for the altering right now, Mojo.

Mojo: No fair, I wanted to get a few insulting insults out at the unfunny comedian first!

{Resuming the montage, we see the pictures being uploaded on Mojo's computer, and then on each one we see a regular man being inserted right near Felicia on every picture, looking more intimate with her after every one. The next day the same formula hapens, Felicia talks to "people" Butters takes pciutres, and then the pictures are uuploaded on the computer where Felicia is then made to look like she's in compromising positions with this digitally inserted guy. Finally Felicia is taken out of town as the fake people wave her off, and a second later the fake town and people are all zapped away by a grinning Him}

{Back at the hideout, all of the fixed pictures with Felicia looking pretty comfy with the fake guy are on the computer}

Him: Perfect, that's just naughty enough to get him exactly as upset as we want. Now, in the words of the secretary of that dumb excuse for a Mayor of Townsville{e.v to Butters}Make the call.

{Cut to the H! studio as Robert is pacing the floor}

Robert: The limo driver said she'd be back at 4, but it's 40 seconds past 4 now and she's not back. Should I wait 2 or 3 more minutes until I go crazy from the wait, I wonder?{A phone is heard ringing}Ah, this should delay my insane rampage resulting from this torterous wait for a few extra moments.{Robert gets out a cell phone and asnwers it}Hello?

Butters: Mr Dougherty, is that you?

Robert: Luckly I remember my little trip to South Park so vividly or I would have to waste time asking that same kind of question. Hi Butters!

Butters: Hi Mr Dougherty! Boy, am I glad I found your p-phone number in the phone book so I could talk to you.{Pause, then he talks to the villains aside}He's talking in one of those long kind of jokes again, so now I can ask how long I have to ta-talk to him.

Mojo: Long enough for me to fax these incriminating pictures for his horrified eyes to see.

Butters: Good, but he's still trying to make a really long joke, so do you know what else I can ask you about till he's finished?

Robert: What was that? Although I couldn't hear who was talking cause I was too busy making my joke, I'd still like to know what I missed.

Butters: Well, I was just talking to my, um, editor for the school newspaper, yeah that's good. As you know your new girlfriend wasn't too far away from South Park, so I thought I'd do something mentioning her for the school paper, yeah that's a good story.

Robert: So you met her? Then you probably know what I mean when I say I couldn't have made a better pick as my first girl.

Butters: Actually I didn't talk to her, but I took some pictures of her walking around town that I wanted you to see before I used them for the paper. My editor is faxing them over to you right now, and you're gonna see in a few seconds that they're real super.

{Robert then walks over to a nearby fax machine where the material that is obviously the incriminating pictures is coming through}

Butters: Yeah, she really had a lot of fun in that great little town, and a lot of people were real nice to her.{Robert sees the first picture of Felicia looking like she's talking to another guy}They were real friendly and they gave her all kinds of praise about how good she was looking, if I was a girl I woulda been real flattered.{Robert keeps looking at the pictures and getting a bit angerer as he sees each one}And this one guy really liked talking to her and doing other fun things too.{Robert sees a picture that has Felicia and the fictional guy looking real close}So if you thought she wasn't gonna have fun without you, I hope these pictures tell you that you were wrong, cause she had lots of it!{Robert sees one last picture that has Felicia kissing the other guy, and this makes him faint}Oh. Well, I'm glad she wasn't the only one that had a good "trip", heh heh. Um, Mr Dougherty?

{Butters then hangs up and watches the projecter with the other happy villains}

Butters: So, heh, did I do good?

Alpha: You did very good. Very good indeed.

Mojo: Hey, I was ready to say that! You're lucky we're about to succeed or I'd really let you have it!

Butters: Succeed? You mean one of my plans is working? But, but it's one of my plans.

Him:{f.v}That's why we're not gonna celebrate until one of them kill each other.{e.v}And now let's sit back and watch the process begin.

{We now go to the lot where Felicia is dropped off in front of the studio}

Felicia: Ah, back home again. Let my fantasies that I had on the way back here come true right now!{Robert then storms outside to "greet" her}

Robert: So, have fun on your little trip?!

Felicia: Why yes, I did. Can we get with the fantasy starting now?

Robert: I didn't know you thought my fantasy was to get dumped on the road, but I guess you think differently than I do!

Felicia: Yes, that's true, I thought that was one of the 50 things you liked about me.

Robert: I am seriously considering shortening that list to 0, unless you have a good excuse for this!

{Robert pulls out the pictures and hands them to Felicia, who laughs after seeing them for a second}

Felicia:{Laughing}Okay, which one of the villains has the technology to do this again?

Robert: Do you deny that those buildings in the background were ones you didn't go to?!

Felicia: No, I went to all these places.

Robert: Ah ha, so you were there and that is where you did these horrible acts of betrayal! Luckly we weren't involved for long or you'd have to explain that again to my lawyers in our seperation hearing!

Felicia: Usually I like when you don't make sense, you sure picked a good time to make an exception. What makes you think this isn't an obvious forgery by one of those villains?!

Robert: Because this was sent to me by a very reliable source, one of the South Park kids I told you about, Butters!

Felicia: That wimpy kid who turned into an idiotic supervillain when those other 3 kids didn't like him? Well, there you go then.

Robert: Butters is far too terrible as an actual evil villain to do anything like that, and another villain couldn't have teamed up with him to help him cause who would want to help someone who's best plans were ripped off from the Simpsons?! So that eliminates all your excuses for you cheating on me!{The other Histerians come out}

Miss Info: Felicia? You didn't? After all you put us through to get this guy you cheat on him anyway?

Felicia: I didn't, that Butters kid obviously forged this as a prank!

Lydia: What, that kid who's the only nice, respectful kid in that whole sewer of a town he lives in?! You're not exactly succeeding in making us laugh.

Crow: Ha, I knew it, pay up Tom! I told you they'd be the first couple here to break up, didn't I?

Tom: Yeah yeah, not like my choice of R6 and Lydia was an all bad guess.

R6: I'd beg to differ on that, but that's because I'm impartial. Robert, resume your breakup rant now.

Felicia: We are not breaking up, this whole thing is a fix!

Robert: That's two fixes I've been involved in lately. I'm sorry if I'm old fashioned in thinking that if someone cheats on you while you're at home, you should break up with them, but at least I admit my mistakes! And with the background confirmed, and a reliable scorce taking these, you could at least admit your mistakes to save some face.

Felicia: I'm more interested in saving the right to kiss your face!

Robert: As tempting as a last fun ride is, you gave up the right for me to be tempted by that when you kissed that other guy. Now if you'll excuse me, I have crying to do before I get on my next angry rant, so leave me alone when you pack up at least.{Runs off}

Felicia:{In shock to the others}This, this is ridiculous! You're gonna actually believe that I put you through all that I did just to break up with him?!

Charity: It does validate our debate on whether you could be trusted after your kidnapping bit, that's for sure.

Loud: And to think I was telling them that your evil phrase would be over now that you had him. But I guess it wanted one last moment in the sun after all.

Felicia: Sis, you for one can't possible think this is true just because the source is a stupid kid!

Miss Info: Um, maybe you shouldn't call him stupid, it doesn't make you sound any less guilty.

Felicia: I can call that little ***t anything I want, he ruined my life!!!

Miss Info: Hey, there is no need to say that kind of language!

Lydia: Yeah! At least I chose a best friend I'm willing to stick with for reasons like that.

Felicia: Oh shut up you whining nag! And I've earned the right to be angry enougb to say that, so back away R6! You saw the damage I can do to villains, so doing that to sick demented writers would be no problem for me! Speaking of which-

{She storms back in to the studio followed by the others. At the villains hideout, the villains are oohing and ahhing at the sight from their projecter, and then they cheer when they see Felicia come to Robert and start an agry exchange of words}

Carrey: That's the bell, it's all over folks!!

Butters: What bell, I was too busy watching Miss Felicia getting angry at Mr Dougherty. My parents said that I'm not supposed to watch violent material like this at my age though, so I'd better go.

Him:{f.v}You've earned the right to violate that little rule, best villain of all.

Butters: Which one of them were you talking to? Probably that dinosaur feller, he's the scarest one here.

Mojo: Again, I'm too happy your plan worked to make any complaints, or to let my many laser guns make those complaints for me.

Butters: You're happy about what?

Him:{e.v}Your plan worked, my dear boy. You've won the bet, you broke up our "favorite couple", making you the best villain in our bunch.

Butters: You, you actually mean one of my plans really worked? I actually brought actual chaos to someone and they weren't reminded of a TV show?

Him: Yes, you have done very well, Professor Chaos. I mean, the best evil villain of us all and winner of our contest Professoooorrrr Chaos!!!!{The bad guys cheer as Butters starts to smile}

Butters: Wow, neato! Wait till General Disarray hears about this after he finishes getting mad that I ddin't bring him here! But I can worry about that after celebrating, huh fellas?

Him: No one's earned it more. But first, how about a good group laugh?{The villains then start laughing in unison, and are then joined by Butters a second later}

{Cut to a bus stop somewhere in LA. Robert is pacing around until a bus finally arrives}

Robert: What took you people so long?! Let me in quick unless you want a raving mad person on your bus!

Bus driver: The politically correct way to call them is "homeless people" believe me, they've caused enough trouble on this bus for me not to forget that.

Robert: Can we discuss this when I'm actually on the bus?!

Felicia:{V.O}Oh honeybuns!! I need more time to convince you I'm not so bad!!

Bus driver: I'd answer you but we're pressed for time, get on the bus!!

{Robert then runs on the bus before a mad Felicia catches him. The bus then drives away as the other Histerians reach the scene}

Felicia: Rats!! Now I have to follow him all the way down the road to take out my anger at his mistrust on him!

Aka: Hey, if you're so innocent, why dontcha just leave him alone and stop attacking him physically and emotionally?!

Felicia: You may not believe it now, but I kept you all up at night because I was with someone I love, but if he can't trust me and see through fake pictures, I may have to give him a choice as to whether he wants me to say I loved him and not I love him.

Sammy: Even I can see that he's made it clear that he wants that to happen, so that should tell you something.

Felicia: Yes, it tells me I have to follow him to get him to change his mind or say farewell to me with bruises, cause I love him too much to not be that irate about this!

JusSonic: Well we're not gonna let you hurt our friend anymore, you're staying right here!

R6: That's right, you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!

Miss Info: But you can make their threat useless by just giving up before this gets more ugly. I'd like that to happen, as, well, a favor to me.

Felicia: Well by kidnapping you I got together with him, so I can correctly blame you for starting this therby eliminating any favors I owe!

Loud: AND THAT LAST INSULT JUST DESTROYED YOUR RIGHT TO GIVE UP QUIETLY!!

Felicia: Bring it on then, bring it on!!

Pepper: Great, I'm gonna be too busy fighting you to make a joke about that movie of the same name that I loved so much!

Felicia: Good, now that we dealt with that we can "party" quicker"

{Somewhere far away, the bus stops in front of a snow covered bus stop}

Robert: Wait, this isn't that far away enough to get away from her! Believe me, I know her in ways so well that...well, since there are no kids or spys around I can tell you without any censorship, so-{He is pushed off the bus as it drives away}Well, that's one more thing I can be annoyed about as soon as I check into a hotel.

{We then pan back to see that nor far away, Butters is around still celebrating his success}

Butters: Wow, I still can't believe I finally got away with doing something really chaotic! Now I can finally start thinking that I can bring the whole world to their kness for shunning me again! Boy, if I knew the evil b-business was this much fun I'd have joined it a lot sooner than I did, well, then again probably not since I woulda been too busy thinking I was having fun as the guys new friend, but that was before Professor Chaos, B.P.C! Heh, adding the P in there and avoiding the problem of copying the old B.C quote pretty well.

{Butters then stops because he has literally bumped into a pair of legs- Robert's legs}

Butters: M-Mr Dougherty!! Um, um, well, what brings you here? Certainly it's to enjoy the sights of the town again and not to exact some kind of revenge, right?

Robert: I got your pictures and I thought I'd like to relax, a.k.a hide here to avoid my cheating girlfriend's wrath.

Butters: Wha? If she cheated on you you're the one that should be mad, my Mom can certainly tell you something about that.

Robert: She thinks those pictures were fake so she thinks she can take it out on me for believing such a lie.

Butters: Heh, is that so? She does seem a bit confused all right.

Robert: She wasn't always like that. Well, maybe she was 50% of the time but the other times were good enough to foundly remember before I remember that she wants to kill me. She was my first girlfriend though, so I'll always remember her for that, for better or worse.

Butters: You will? Is that good?

Robert: In some ways yes, I did have my first real "experience" with her so I'll forever be grateful for that. In fact I did enjoy times with her physically and emotionally well enough for me to be sad that it's over. And since it's the first time this happened to me, I can't help but fell a little extra down over it.

Butters:{A bit more affected now}You do?

Robert: Yeah, but thankfully we found her out this quickly or else it would have hurt more to find out later. But we won't know if that's true because of your handy work, will we?

Butters: I didn't know she was having that kinda fun when I took those pictures, you know how ig-ignorant I can be about things like that.

Robert: I know, but at least it worked for the best this time, not that it makes me feel any better. But to switch moods one last time, thanks for doing what you did and then listening to my ramblings. Even though the other kids back there think you're a wimp, you're still a better friend than they give you credit for.

Butters:{More affected}Well, um, thanks, I guess. So, where are you going again?

Robert: I'm gonna find a hotel to get out whatever other angry and sad feelings I got. I'll probably wind up needing to borrow a lot of money from the South Park people to keep staying there for a long time, so I'll probably see you later.{Walks off}

Butters: Aw nuts, why'd he have to go and start making me all sad and stuff? Oh well, maybe some more partying with those guys that are less evil than me will cheer me up.

{A while later, Butters enters the hideout to see all the villains partying in their own special way}

Carrey: I'm so happy right now that I can order 5 or 10 of you to form a mosh pit I could jump into and not care that you'd probably let me fall to the ground!{Some of the villains then form said mosh pit}Aw, what the heck, I'll just cheer myself up later on after the blood gets back to my brain!{Jumps and falls to the ground}

Evil Scientist: Boy, it's times like this I wish I made myself into one of those villains with an actual sense of humor so I could have my own crazy fun with this.{Gossamer then picks him up and starts dancing wildy with him, and when he stops the Scientist is all dizzy}Then again, I didn't get into this business to be known for being insane in a fun way, that's for sure.

Hades:{To Jafar}And you wanted us to go over there and just blow them up with our superpowers. Luckly for you most villains are supposed to be stupid.

Jafar: Well that couldn't include people that are lords of the underworld and were dumb enough to lose to musclemen and had total screwups as sidekicks, that's for sure. At least before my sidekick betrayed me he could do a simple task like, well, whatever simple task your loony sidekicks can't do.

Hades: Do we really have to turn a happy party like this into a debate over our idiot helpers? Why don't we talk to people we only thought were idiots until yesterday? Professor Chaos, that's your cue to come here now!

Butters: Oh, hey fellas, how's the party going? Where are the balloons and stuffed animals and video tapes that parents don't want you to see?

Him:{f.v}Well, parents didn't tell us to watch this footage of the sad state of our defeated enemies, does that count?{He points to the projecter which now shows a teary eyed Robert in a hotel room}

Butters: Hey, why are we watching that? I thought that once we made him miserable and stuff that we were done watching them.

Mojo: Because watching that rich brat and those two grownup rich brats still fighting got old after a while, so we switched to that sad scene which is sad for anyone with feelings, unlike us.

Butters: Well I think that looks a little sad and I'm the best evil person here, you told me so.

Pearl: That's basically only because you won the contest, talk to me when you have a son that will rule the earth as a God when he's unfrozen from carbonite!

Butters: But by the time I'm old enough to do that you'll be real old and you probably won't be able to hear me say I did that stuff.

Pearl: Could someone play that other Histeria scene to make me feel better enough to ignore that?!

{The projecter then switches to a scene that has all the Histerians trapped in a cage inside the studio}

Pearl: Much better. Ooh, Felicia sure picked a good cage to trap them in so they couldn't stop her from hurting the writer some more.

Butters: But how can she hurt that R6 guy and that Sonic guy if they're in a cage?

Evil Martin: She'll get to that after she finds Robert around here and hurts him when he refuses to take her back, resulting in more entertainment for us.

Butters: She's gonna hurt him again?!

Seduca: Of course, it's how we planned it and everything else we planned has worked so far, so why wouldn't this?

Butters: I thought you just wanted them to hate each other, Ms funny hair lady.

Lecter: I thought you were spying on us and could hear everything, though if you were I'd have to invite you to "dinner" later on.

Butters: Ooh, can we order food from Bennigans for that?

Lecter: You're making me more tempted to do that, so let me move on. If you could hear everything, you'd know that we wanted them to break up and then we wanted them to kill each other afterwards, and it looks like they're gonna do just that.

Scrappy: Yep, the more this fighting continues the more likely it is that they'll be grounded into Scooby Snacks, all thanks to you. And I thought I was the nastiest little guy here and that that Stewie baby was bragging too much that he was.

Butters: But, but I did this to finally cause some chaos, not to have anyone killed!

Him: Don't worry, we've all been down that road in our careers, and although some people{looks at Mojo}haven't gotten to that first kill, it gets easier after that. This is all part of the evil business, you knew that when you joined in.

Butters: I just joined in to get revenge on the world for making me an outcast by making them bow down to me and my cool silver armor s-stuff.

Him: And the reason why it didn't happen so far is because you didn't go far enough from what you told us. But no matter now, after everyone else hears about this you'll be the toast of the evil world and you should have no trouble bringing such sadness and chaos into the world as you've done here. Now, let's get back to the parting after we toast once more to the nastiest villain of us all, Professor Chaos!!

Butters: Um, actually I'd better go home so my- I mean, Butters' parents don't get too worried about me- I mean him.

Bane: Your loss, more parting that will make us too tired to wake up from sleeping most of the day for us!

{Later that night, we go to the trapped Histerians trapped in their cage}

R6: Well, you gotta hand it to Felicia, she just wanted it more.

JusSonic: Well that helps my confidence in getting outta here in one piece.

Lydia: Melissa, can't you at least talk one bit of sense into your evil sister?{Naturally, Felicia then shows up}

Felicia: I am not evil!! I'm only upset that he thinks I've cheated on him and I'm taking out my anger! Once I convince him it's a setup, I'll be back to normal.

Miss Info: And if you can't convince him?

Felicia: Then I'll have to use my backup ways to do it. I love him that much, you know. And I can't have you around begging and pleading to talk me out of it, so you'll stay here till we get back. My GPS signal that I planted on him during certain events tells me that he's somewhere in Colorado, I'll find him there.

Loud: THAT SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM, THOSE SOUTH PARK PEOPLE ARE TOO USED TO INSANITY TO MIND YOU COMING THERE!

Felicia: South Park? Of course, I can fix his guilty partner while I'm at it, thanks for the heads up! But I can't thank you by letting you go until we get back, so until then.{She walks out}

Mike: Hey Smartypants, you haven't said anything during this whole thing, think you can fix that by getting one of your techo thingies to set us loose since the techo thingies I know got stripped of their spare weapons?

Tom: Please, spare us from having to start therapy for that event too early.

Smartypants: She is smart even when she's crazy, the fact that she took all my stuff outta me proves that.

Sammy: So now we gotta stay in this cramped space with no food around for God knows how long?!{Starts to grin}So it appears I have an opinion for revenge that was originally dismissed as too cruel to think about.

Crow: Oh come on, not even Lecter went to cannibalism that fast!

{Just then we hear a noise outside and a few seconds later, something crashes into the studio and lands on top of the nearby console. Because of this, the cage opens and the crew is free, and free enough to see that the crashed vehicle belongs to Princess}

Princess: Plotz, Kellner, I hope you aren't too attached to your star cruisers cause I'm not gonna let my flying, well, whatever this thing is be the only casulty of our little war!

Sammy: Aw, first she takes my job as Plotz's replacement and then she takes away my revenge scheme!

Kellner:{V.O}Don't worry Melman, she'll pay for that soon enough! Come on out Princess, I promise my far more expensive star cruiser than yours won't blast you!

Plotz:{V.O}But you're not speaking for my star cruiser, remember that!

Loud: YEAH, THAT'S NICE, BUT WE GOTTA GET GOING ON OUR NEXT ROAD TRIP NOW! TRY NOT TO BLAST US AND WE PROMISE YOU'LL GET A SMALL CUT ON WHATEVER MONEY WE MAKE FROM IT!

Plotz:{V.O}Done and done! Now I have something to look forward to when we're done here!

Princess: You're sure confident about that, perhaps too confident!

Loud: Well, at least we'll have a lot to fix up when we get back. Let's go now so none of the preliminary debris falls on us.

{The gang runs off as the battle between the rich brats resumes. Fade to the next day at Colorado, then we go to Robert asleep in his room. He is woken up by a phone ringing, which he answers a second later}

Robert: Hello, shaken up dumped guy speaking.

Butters:{V.O}Really? Aw shoot, the operator told me he was gonna get Robert Dougherty on the phone.

Robert: Butters, this is Robert Dougherty, and it's a wonder I can make jokes like the last one this early, especially in my condition.

Butters:{Calling from his house}Oh. Well, how is that going anyway?

Robert: Well, I only had a moderate nightmare about Felicia and only a few fleeting fantasies.

Butters: Is that the kinda thing that's gonna, well, stay around you for a long time?

Robert: If I'm not distracted by Felicia coming here and doing whatever she's gonna do to love me or most likely hurt me first, yes. I hope that she still has enough respect for me to let me get used to living in fear forever before she gets here.

Butters:{Pause}Look, um, Robert, there's something I really gotta tell you.

Robert: You're gay? It's okay if you're gay Butters, I don't care. At this point I can tell you you're one of the lucky ones.

Butters: What? No, it's something else. Um, well, you know about my alternative lifestyle as Pro-Professor Chaos, right?

Robert: Right, you're gonna cheer me up by making me laugh about that?

Butters: Heh, you would laugh at that cause I've never done anything right since I created him, right? Well, um, the thing is, that, um, that kinda changed for me lately.

Robert: You mean you actually made a plan that worked and actually caused some chaos?

Butters: Well, if anyone could tell me if it did, it would be you, I guess.

Robert: Why me, I'm one of the few people that knows that you have that character or remembers it.

Butters: I'm a-afraid that changed a bit too. Lots of those evil people and creatures you guys met lately met me, and well, kinda helped me make my succesful plan a success. And, heh, this is the funny part, or at least it'd be funny for you if that plan I mentioned didn't have you as the victim.

Robert: Hold on, good thing I can translate statements like that into something that makes sense.....and I wish I didn't. Are you telling me that you forged those pictures with the help of all the villains of Histeria?!

Butters:{Meek}Y-yes sir. I came up with the whole idea of taking pictures of her being with another guy, and I took them and then had those other villains make them look like what they did when you got 'em. They tech-technically forged them and not me, but it was my idea.

Robert:{Stunned}I can't believe one of your plans worked.{Sarcastic}You sure know how to pick first victims real well, don't you?

Butters: I'm, I'm sorry, I really am! I'll tell Miss Felicia that I made the whole thing up right away, I promise, that'll make it better!

Robert: There are so many ways to tell you why it's too late for that, but I'll focus on the main ones. One, she's too mad at me and you to listen to either of us, and even if she wasn't, she'd be too busy gloating that she was right about you to take me back, which she won't anyway because I was so willing to believe that she'd betray me! Second, if those villains are really the villains I know, they're probably listening to us right now and they'd kill us before we could get back together!

Butters: No, they've been partying all night and they're hung over, they won't wake up for another hour, that's enough time to fix this.

Robert: Nah, you're on a hot streak of evil, why ruin it, especially after I said it wouldn't do any good?

Butters: But, but Robert-

Robert: Good bye Professor Chaos, I'm ready to hang up and get back to living in the hades that you created, so that should make you feel better.{Hangs up}

Butters: Wait, Hades doesn't even know you're coming over, and-{Pauses and then hangs up}Aw, why didn't anyone tell me creating chaos wouldn't feel any good?

{Fade to a bit later on as Butters sadly walks through the snow with his head down. He stops a second later though}

Butters: Hey, what's that sticking out of the snow? I hope it's something good to get my mind off of ruining Robert's life, that's for sure.{Runs over and picks up something we can't see, and then he smiles after a long second}Yeah, I am good at ruining people all of a sudden, I am on a hot streak although it'll probably end pretty soon knowing me. Well, I might as well end that streak with a bang then, shouldn't I?

{Butters runs off and then we see him at home wearing his old hockey mask. He then dials the phone}

Butters:{In a deep voice}Operator, get me Robert Dougherty on the phone.{Pause}

Robert:{V.O}Look Butters, cna you at least let me be mad at you without having to hear your stupid, squeaky voice for one second?!!

Butters: N-no, this isn't Butters, but I know about the problem he created, and I know where Felicia is.

Robert:{V.O}Where, how long do I have to run away?

Butters: No, why run when you can at least try to end it for good, get some closure so you can head back home?

Robert: Well, with what I now know maybe using that to talk some sense into her would help.

Butters: Good, she's at a shack in the middle of the woods, you can't miss it. Be there in about 15 minutes.{Hangs up and then dials again}Operator, get me the number for Felicia Information please.

{Cut to Felicia driving through the snowy roads and talking on her cell phone}

Felicia: You know where Robert is? Where? Talk clearly, I can't write it down, talk on the phone, and drive at the same time, I'm already breaking one rule of safe driving by using the phone.{Pause}I'm not gonna stop the car to talk because I want to get to where Robert is sooner, so tell me where it is quick!

Butters:{V.O}The shack in the middle of the woods near South Park, you can't miss it. Be there in 15 minutes.

Felicia: Love doesn't regard time. Well, at least being around him agve me the ability to end conversations that well, at least.{Hangs up}

{Cut to the aformentioned shack where an unmasked Butters, who is now wearing a backpack, is about to enter. He opens the door to see the villains walking around groggly}

Butters: Hey guys, how's it going?

Carrey: Oh, aside from the headaches created by parting and loud rock music, it's going pretty good.

Jolly Baker: It's just sad that I made my masterpiece food course and you just left half of it on the floor. Plus you're not even gonna bother to clean it up since we're leaving soon.

Soaper: That's right, maybe finishing our party seperatly will make the euphoria last a while longer.

Alpha: Why wouldn't it anyway, we finally beat the Histerians, that should be a good enough "high"!

Mojo: Not for us Townsvillains since our real enemies are still at do goody two shoes large, but it's an effective warmup.

Seduca: Hear hear, though the fact that I have a more personal connection to the Histerians will make beating the girls harder to celebrate over.

Him: Not for me, at this point I couldn't care less about it because I'm so happy to get rid of them. And that what's they will be soon enough, they'll all be gone forever and out of our lives forever, thanks to you, Professor.

{Outside we have a different picture taking place as the Histerians are right in front of the shack}

Sammy: Remind me again why we're in the freezing cold, please give me that courtesy before I freeze to death and you make Chatterson my replacement of torture.

Lydia: It's because some guy with a deep voice told us we could find Robert and Felicia here, though I haven't seen them yet.{Robert then drives into the scene and Felicia then drives in a second later}Wow, if I knew I had that kind of power I would have made network censor a second career choice!

Sammy: What, you're telling me this now?!{Robert and Felicia walk towards them}

Robert: Guys! How'd you get here?

Felicia: I'm gonna ask them that in a more upset tone of voice, if you don't mind!

Robert: I mind less than I did before.

Felicia: What kind of insult is that?! For the last time I didn't cheat on you, but if you're gonna keep acting like a jerk I'm gonna start wondering why I didn't actually get the idea? You know, if you're that willing to believe something like that, maybe-

Loud: Hey, good thing I know so much about loud voices cause I hear a few evil ones and one squeaky one in their now.{Cut back to inside the hideout}

Him: So, what did you wanna tell us before we went?

Butters: Just reminding you that you have a lot to thank me for, since I took those pictures and had you forge them to make them look like they did, therefore making those two guys break up which is what your contest as to who could do it first was all about. But I'm the one who won it, and you know what? If I had won anything before, I would have said I never wanted to take back something that I won more in my life, you sons of b**ches!

{The villains gasp- but that may be mainly because they see that all the good guys are right behind Butters, which they have been ever since he started his speech. Butters then notices this}

Butters: Good, I'm glad you guys came here like I wanted you to.

Sammy: Yeah we came, but it's only because you didn't mention that you have pretty much every villain here that isn't dead or in jail here too!

Mike: Don't forget they got everyone that isn't in an alternate universe too.

Charity: So...Felicia was right? Butters really did make those pictures up?

Pearl: What difference does all of this make anyway? So they know we set them up, they can't just go running into each other arms like that after what they've been through!

Butters: Well, why not?

Hades: Because Rob here found out that he was chosen for love by a pretty unstable woman here, someone so unstable it's a wonder she isn't a Hollywood actress. Do you really want to try this out again with someone that could go from loving you to clawing your eyes out if you do the slightest thing wrong?

Butters: Why should that matter, a few of the g-girls here are a bit, well, nuts, and their boyfriends still like them. I think the only question here in if he loves her and if she loves him, and after talking with Robert the last few days I think it's pretty clear that he still does. If he didn't he wouldn't have been so sad when we talked about her, would you?

Robert: I was kind of hoping at the time that it was just me having a hard time getting used to this new situation, but you kinda cleared up what it really was for me.

Jafar: Well what difference does that make, it's not like Felicia here is that big of a tramp to just run back to him after he accused him of cheating on her, not just like that!

Butters: Hey, e-even though she probably hates me as much as you guys, I still don't like you calling her n-names like that.

Alpha: What in blazes is wrong with you?! Is this what a shining example of evil is supposed to be like?! One minute you were glad this was happining and now you changed into a saint all of a sudden?! After looking up everything there is to know about you, Butters Stotch, I highly doubt you want to give up your one shining moment of causing chaos like that! Especially since you still haven't gotten revenge for those three boys kicking you out of their social group, which you still have a slight chance to make us do for you.

Butters: Well, I do still wanna cause chaos, but not like this! I wanted to make people I didn't know and people that I know don't like me suffer, not people I know that actually, huh, like me like Robert here!

Him:{e.v}All right, this little sideshow has gone on far enough!! If you wanna forfit your victory, fine, but you did give us a good parting shot by bringing all our "friends" here to have fun with!

Jafar: I told you guys, we could have stopped all this madness by just joining forces and destroying them where we stand! And here we are, we have them outnumbered for once, we have far more power than they do, in fact you people shouldn't even run since then we can end this quicker.

Him: That's good enough for me. Everyone get their weapons out!

Mojo:{Taking out all his lasers}Finally, my genius in the shooting down of innocent people shall be known to all that are here!

Him: Kill them all, but save the Professor here for last.

Butters:{Nervous}Oh boy, oh golly, oh son of God, mother of Mary, and all those other religious people, we're done for. Wait, maybe if I gave this back you wouldn't kill us, would that happen if I gave you this thing back?

{Butters gets something familar from his backpack- a lamp: Jafar's lamp}

Jafar: Where did you get that?!

Butters: I found it buried in the snow somwhere, and I was so mad at you guys at the time that I shook it up and messed up some fo the nicknacks in there, they're all dirty and everything. Why don't you see for yourself?

Jafar: If you destroyed any of my vases, I cannot be held responsible for my actions after that!{He then flys towards the lamp}

Lecter: Wait a minute, he's a genie of that lamp and as those boring books about genie, lamps, and street rats told me, anyone who rubs it while he's inside....

Him: It's a trap!{Jafar then disappears into the lamp}You wouldn't?!

Butters: I'm a re-representative of evil, so it seems fitting that I would, wo-wouldn't I?

{Butters then rubs the lamp and a second later, Jafar reappears in genie form}

Jafar: You little....

Butters: You wouldn't wanna say that to your master now, would you?

JusSonic: Ha, I should have known that he was due for smart ideas like that after all those dumb ones!

Him: That won't matter much if you're all gone away before he can say anything! Everyone, begin the attack at full power!

Butters: Power eh? I like electric power and such since it keeps my night light on at n-night, but, well...aw heck since I can't think of anything else I'll get right to it!{The villains all charge at he heroes with every weapon they have}I wish all the superpowers and other kinds of weapons these guys have were gone until I finished making my three wishes!

{Jafar tries to resist granting tht wishk but he ends up doing it just as the villains were about to tackle everyone. With that, all of Mojo's guns and all the other guns are gone, Hades hair disappears, and we hear the effect it has on Him's voice after that}

Him:{e.v without a booming effect}You stupid....what?! Where's the echo to my wonderful voice?{f.v}There is supposed to be an echo that makes my voice particaly memorable and spooky, now I just sound like an oridinary lunatic!{Streaches his claw}And why isn't my claw streaking forward to choke you right now?!

Hades: Big deal, at least he let you keep that insane fashion of yours, he wasn't that generous with mine!

Mojo: My proof of my technological genius, all gone!

Alpha: Come on, do you see me whining that my weapons are gone too? Well, you haven't seen it yet but at least I take my time to complain.

Seduca:{Noticing that her hair doesn't move anymore}My hair! It caused me to be the excellent villainess I am and now it's all droopy! This is worse than being bald, but I can still cut you off with a sharp insult if you say anything about this, Melissa!

Jafar: Enough talk! I still have my superpowers since I still have wishes to grant, but you don't need weapons to destroy them before I can make you amd even more!

Carrey: Yeah, quit whining, those who didn't have anything to whine about wanna get back to getting it on!

Soaper: That's right, I still have a few revenge beatings I'd like to give out to a certain someone in the sudience, after I-

Evil Martin: Let's not even give him time to make another Rugrats insult, trying to get around that Sonic guy pummling Soaper for that again would be too distracting.

Puppetmon: Yeah, let's just get them already, if there was an audience around they'd be getting really really bored right now!

Evil Scientist: Then why must the talking continue?

Butters: Wait, I got one more thing to say and then we can start this little war a-again. I wish all of you supervillains except for Jafar and Him were 3,000 miles away from here!

Him: Except for me. Very well, I have no problem with that, go right ahead.

Mojo: What?! Oh, when I get my hands on you when we return to Townsville I'll-{He is cut off as Jafar eventually zaps all the other villains away}

R6: Wow, he's a more merciful genie than I thought if he had compassion to cut him off.

Butters: Yeah, I like him, so it's gonna be a little harder to let him go after I make my-

{Butters stops as he sees Him jumping right in front of him and then he grabs his neck with his claw, choking him}

Him:{e.v}And I thought you were on a hot streak of being smart. You can reflect that the fact that I'm here proves that wrong during your last moments with a head on your shoulders.

Robert:{V.O}I thought only Mojo said widely incorrect things about my favorite TV characters.

{Him turns to see Robert behind him, and then he sees him grabs his red sash and use it to choke him back, causing Him to let Butters go}

Robert: Not so scary without all your fancy powers, are you?{Him them stomps on Robert's foot with his high heels which cause Robert to let him go}

Him: No, but at least I have impeccable taste, and the fact that you have bad taste by having a scarless face really sickens me.

{Him prepares to strike- but he doesn't becaue he is then kicked in the head by another high heeled shoe- that of Felicia's}

Felicia: Sorry, I happen to like slobbering over a handsome scarless face just fine.

Loud: Say, um, do you really need us for this anymore? Since we haven't done anything for once except hear the truth, maybe we could go and celebrate a bit early while you finish these now powerless losers off.

R6: Hey yeah, for once we weren't the main targets this time, you can just let us go before they finish you off!{Jafar then zaps the door behind them shut}Or we could stay here and see it happen, that's cool.

Him:{Shaken up}You can still finish them all before the kid speaks again, and if you want to ever get out of that lamp again, you'd better!

Jafar: I'll ignore that threat because I have business with my master to finish off.{To Butters}You know I can get them all before you even start maming a wish, so why don't you give up now?

Butters: Well, you sure got a point there.{Quickly}I guess I'd better give up my chance to say I wish Him would be sent back to the underworld just as it's all flooded with water.

Jafar: I'm pretending that I didn't hear that!

Butters:{Loudly}I wish Him would be sent back to the underworld just as it's all flooded with water! Now that's a bit too loud to ignore, isn't it?

Him: No, oh no, you will not even THINK about doing that, I said no!!{Jafar tries to resist but he is now starting to give in}I said no, do you want to have that lamp sealed shut forever when I get my powers back?!

Charity: But you'll get your powers back just as you're falling into water, so he'll have plently of time to prepare himself.

Butters: Yeah, that's right!

Him:{To Butters}You are the ultimate evil.{Jafar then zaps Him}So I might as well show you the place that all ultimate evils go to when they die now!

{Him then runs to Butters and prepares to grab him so he can go with him to the flooded underworld, but before he grabs him, Felicia dives and pushes Butters away from Him's grasp, just as he starts to disappear}

Him: NO!!!! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS PROFESSOR CHAOS, BE PROUD THAT THAT'S ALL I'LL BE THINKING OF TO DISTRACT ME FROM THE BLINDING PAIN OF WATER WATER EVERYWHERE!!!!

{Him then disappears and just as that happens, as much as Jafar tries to fly away he is sucked back into the lamp, leaving all traces of the villains apperance in the shack gone. The door then reopens and then we see Sammy coming out of hiding from Smartypants's pants}

Sammy: Boy, there's something you don't see everyday, huh?

{Later on, the gang is walking through the snow}

Butters: There's still one thing I don't get here, w-why was it Miss Felicia that saved me from Him the second time? I thought she would have still h-hated me for ruining her relationship with Robert even though I con-confessed.

Felicia: I guess it was because being a hateful, jealous and even more hateful looney was starting to get old for me. Besides, you did come clean to set Robert straight enough for me to accept.

Butters: So does this mean you're getting back together?

Robert: I am hoping we can settle some issues that the villains raised so we can do that with more success than before.

Felicia: Don't worry, I think I purged out all my anger and rage by now and if not, I hope that my ex-captives will try to help me if I haven't? Um, I have apologized enough for everything to get you to do that, right?

Miss Info: Well since my forgiveness for the first time satified everyone, we can repeat that formula again! I forgive you, besides, this time it wasn't your fault for going crazy.

Butters:{Sad}No, it's mine. I hope in time you can all forgive me for p-putting you through all that.

Charity: Hey, all the other time bad guys went after us we were in the front lines, like Loud said, most of us were pretty much in the background this time. So if they forgave you, and they obviously did by saving you from Him, we can do it a lot easier.

Lydia: Even if it did shatter my belief that you were the only kid in that town free from vice.

Robert: Okay then, so I guess the last thing to do is confirm I'm in love again and figure out which cliche we'll use to wrap this up!

Felicia: You forgot one thing, you needed me to say I love you too, and I just did. But in case you had any doubt.{Takes Robert into his arms and does a most predictable thing}

Robert: Yee ha, there goes my reasons to stay in that hotel surrounded by my own tears! Now all that's left is to wrap this up in one of those old wrapups. Do we use the walking nto the sunset, or the freeze in place while captions are put below us as to what we did next?

Loud: We haven't done the second one in a while, let's do that.

Mike: All right, another first for me and the bots in this club!

Butters: Me too, but can we do this quick, cause I gotta get back home so I can plan evil aagin, only this time not as harshly as I did before and against people that aren't you or my Mom and Dad, people I know like me! So how do we do th-{Stops as he sees all the Histerians are posing in place}Um, guys? Whatcha doing?

{We then see captions below the pictures of each character mentioned like in Animal House and Revenge of the Villains 1}

ROBERT and FELICIA "FALSE" INFORMATION returned to the WB atudio to do stuff we can even write about, let alone speak of.

THE REST OF THE H! CAST returned home to reflect that they didn't have much to do in an adventure for once, although they also remarked that that would probably change next time and had Smartypants build extra durable weapons for when that time came.

HIM was inactive from evil duty for days after being sent to a flooded underworld. He has since turned his attention back to destroying the Powerpuff Girls and maming sure no one gets wind that he was beaten by a regular stupid kid who's otherwise terrible at being evil, though after this airs he probably won't be able to stop that much longer.

JAFAR'S lamp was buried in the snow, and a lock was put on the lamp as the first thing Him did when he was able to use his powers again, making it a bit more unlikely he'll be showing up again. But that's good since he has more time to fix his vases without interruption.

KELLNER, PLOTZ, AND PRINCESS continue to fight over which evil looney was best until the Powerpuff Girls came to stop them. Since we're pressed for time we can't describe how that hapened, and that's why we'll only say....

THE OTHER 18 OR SO VILLAINS escaped from wherever they were sent to and went back to their homes to do what they always do. And BUTTERS already explaned his upcoming duties well enough, so let's not disturb him.

{The final image is of the H! cast still in their end pose- and of Butters mving around trying to figure out what they're doing}

Butters: Hello? Is this some kind of silent treatement to work out any anger you still have for me? Well i-it's working pretty well, I think. Hey, if you're trying to be statues can I climb on top of you to make it look more re-real? Hello?{FTB}

THE END

CAST
Robert: Himself
Laraine Newman: Felicia Information/Miss Info/Charity
Tom Kane: Him
Matt Stone: Butters
Cody Ruegger: Loud Kiddington
Rob Paulsen: Sammy Melman/Smartypants
Nora Dunn: Lydia Karaoke
Cree Summer: Aka Pella
Nathan Ruegger: Froggo
Tress MacNeille: Toast/Pepper
JusSonic: Himself
R6: Himself
Mike J Nelson: Mike
Kevin Murphy: Tom Servo
Bill Corbett: Crow T. Robot
Jonathan Freeman: Jafar
Roger L Jackson: Mojo Jojo
James Woods: Hades
Frank Welker: Mr Plotz/Gossamer
Jamie Kellner: Himself
Dr Laura: Herself
Jennifer Hale: Princess/Seduca
David Warner: Alpha
Jim Carrey: Himself
Richard Roaper: Dick Soaper
Seth MacFarlane: Stewie Griffen
Anthony Hopkins: Hannibal Lecter
Mary Jo Phel: Pearl Forrester
Maurice LaMarche: The Evil Scientist/Jolly Baker
Jeff Bennett: Bernie the Dinosaur
Eric Idle: Evil Martin
David Lodge: Puppetmon
Scott Innes: Scrappy-Doo
Henry Silva: Bane

You were right, it's really Dueling Villans, not 24 Villans 24 Schemes. But we are looking forward foe Dueling Villans 2. The Villans will go up to 32. Here are the 32: Alpha, Bane, Forrester, Stewie Griffith, Gene Burrows, Vincent Morre, Evil Scientist, Dr. Shale, Wally Faust, Big Guy, Captain Hook, Jafar, Ursula, Hades, Pain, Panic, Mr. Smee, Mojo Jojo, Fuzzy Lumpkins, Him, Sedusa, Princess Morebucks, Katz, Le Quack, Cajun Fox, Ray Park, Lex Luthor, Mewtwo, Joker, Mongul, Aku, and Demongo. Plus, Babs from Tiny Toons joins forces with the good guys. Gotta go, good luck posting the story.