[have to deal with a giant spider, an army, another villain and]
Charity: Bob Hope.
[having the nation in danger last time! I'm not leaving them. Sammy: I'm just saying]
Toast: (Sammy) That I am stupid.
[we should consider that, there is a difference]
Pule: Between a painting of a bowling pin and a monkey with writer's block.
[to what you think I'm saying. Besides, if we didn't involve ourselves with them,]
Pule: Then I say you are crazy, Sammy.
[the army wouldn't have reason to try to kill us like they've been doing recently. Aka: I must admit, he has a point,]
All: (laughing)
[if we weren't allied with them, they would try to kill us, and I'm getting sick of]
Charity: (Aka) Talking like Busta Rhymes, homie.
[them doing that when we're not the ones he wants! Toast: Yeah, I don't want to die and have my dreams of being a rock star]
Toast: And getting Pepper, dude.
[cut short. Charity: May I speak a non selfish opinion, please?]
Loud: YES.
[Sammy: Selfish? You think I'm selfish?]
Toast: Dude, when did Sammy figured that out?
[Charity: no, but we're thinking selfishly. We're thinking about saving our own skins that we're not thinking about what could happen to them.]
Loud: AND TO ROBIN WILLIAMS.
[They can't defeat them by themselves, do you want them to die? Sammy: Of course not! But I don't want to risk]
Charity: (Sammy) Getting hurt by R6 again.
[joining them if they do. Charity: Leaving them to die is even worse than]
Pule: John Agar.
[living. I know most of you are thinking of the negative associations with them, but I know if they died, we'd all miss them.]
Charity: And I know one person who would miss Miss Info.
[Aka: you'd just miss Loud especially. (Pause) I shouldn't have said that, should I?]
Loud: WHO CARES?
[Charity: No, you shouldn't.]
Toast: Get a life, dudette.
[But think of it. We all know how Loud is,]
Pule: Loud and good.
[so we know we'd miss him. We'd also miss Miss Info and Harry too. True we all know of her low I.Q,]
Loud: AND THE FACT THAT SHE HAS A CRAZY SISTER.
[but it's rare that you meet someone with the insight to look beyond a person's faults. I'm sure she's done the same with us just as she's done with Loud,]
Pule: Even me?
[though not as vocal. Father Time: I see what you're getting at here.]
Toast: (Father Time) And I don't care about that either.
[Remember during the marathon when we were all helpess to do anything?]
Charity: Uh, I don't remember anything. (chuckles)
[Then Harry came along and helped us stand up to Gene and almost stop it ourselves. True]
Loud: OR FALSE.
[it didn't work,]
Charity: But what else can?
[but he's one of the only ones that liked us on the show, and he's still stood by us today. Sammy: You're right,]
Toast: (Sammy sadly) I am an idiot.
[I have valued him because he's always liked us even on the show when not many others did. I would miss him. Charity: See?]
Pule: (Al Capone) I am giving you the cement shoes, see?
[They all have wonderful personalities]
Pule: Including Bill Nye.
[that would make it impossible for]
Charity: A crazed little pumpkin to became a huge carriage.
[to miss if they died. I'd miss them all, they're all my friends, not just Loud, I know you'd miss them too. Pepper: Yeah, I've grown to like them all, not because I love everything]
Toast: Including me, dude.
[or because I've thought they're famous people. Froggo: Right, I'd miss Miss Info's unintentional sense of humor and niceness and Harry's down to earth]
Loud: LIKE CHRIS ROCK.
[helpfulness. Sammy: Yeah, you're all right,]
Toast: For a bunch of little kids.
[I'd miss them all. Well, I guess I have to change my mind,]
Loud: LET'S HOPE IT'S BETTER THAN THE LAST ONE.
[we shouldn't leave them, but we should be careful, you have to admit. Smartypants: That's why we must plan to end Gene's regime forever.]
Pule: (singing) I love you forever!
[Let's get out of here and do that. (They walk out and see the threesome)]
Charity: Larry, Curly, and Moe.
[Harry: You don't need to explain, we heard everything. Sammy: Um, let me explain, I didn't say all that because I hate you.]
Charity: (Sammy) I said that because I am stupid.
[Miss Info: We know, it's understandable that you'd be like that after seeing Karras die in front of you. And I'm glad to hear that you'd]
Pule: Get really hurt by R6 later on in life.
[really miss us, that's really reassuring.]
Loud: (sarcastic) YEAH, THANKS A LOT.
[Loud: Yeah, I feel the same way.]
Loud: HE CAN HEAR ME?!?!?!
[(To Charity) And...thank you for sticking up]
Charity: Not to the table, mind you.
[for us. I know you're getting sick of]
Loud: SPEAKING LIKE THAT DARIA WOMAN FROM MTV.
[saying of that stuff by now. Charity: Well, I am, but then I remind myself that I'm saying stuff about you all that must be said, because no one else will believe it,]
All: We believe it.
[so I should lessen that large number. (Loud fondly returns her smile,]
Pule: Did he get a reciept?
[then without thinking leans over and kisses her on the forehead.]
Toast: Dude!
[But his eyes immediately widen and he quickly turns and runs away screaming)]
Charity: Okay, here is the best part.
Loud: YEAH.
[Cho-Cho: What in the world was that all about? Miss Info: I think I've got a pretty good idea.]
Loud: I WILL RULE THE WORLD!
[Harry: Gasp, you mean he, he... Miss Info: I can't say,]
Charity: He.
[but can I assume that you know if she... Charity: I don't know what you're talking about,]
Toast: Try asking.
[but I do know something is wrong with him. And I'm going to find out what. (She goes off to follow Loud) Miss Info: Yes, it's about time you did. (Charity goes into what is obviously]
[Smartypants's bedroom, and finds Loud banging his head into the closet door) Loud: STUPID ME! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!]
Loud: WHAT WAS I THINKING THAT SHE WILL GO OUT WITH ME?!
[(He finally sees Charity and backs away from her) Charity: I must admit,]
Charity: You are sweet.
[you're being too paranoid about this. I'm not angry about that kiss,]
Toast: (Charity) I am angry of what's going to happen after the kiss.
[you were just showing me your appreciation for what I did, it was sweet.]
Pule: Welcome to South Park.
[There wasn't anything wrong with it. Loud: But there was,]
Pule: This movie.
[if only you knew, but you can't! (They sit down on the nearby bed) Charity, There's one way you can survive until 4:00,]
Toast: You got to vote everyone else out of the tribe.
[you've got to get as far away from this city, and from me as possible, it's your only hope! Charity: I won't.]
Loud: BYE NOW.
[After I went and defended you to prevent them from leaving, you think I'm going to? Besides, there is a fate worse than death for me.]
Charity: Watching for movie for one.
[That would be the haunting reminder that if I went away from you guys and you died, I wasn't there to help prevent that. I couldn't live with facing that, and I'm not going to give myself the chance.]
Toast: To be in "The Grinch".
[Loud: So you're still willing to help me, even though it could mean your certain doom? (Charity nods. Loud looks at her for a moment and begins to smile again, but it quickly fades away]
Loud: LIKE SOME TOONS WE DON'T KNOW OF.
[and he begins to cry) Charity: What's wrong, why are you crying?]
Pule: (Loud) My prized hamster just died.
[Loud: (sobbing) I can't take it anymore! I've tried to hide it as much as I can, but I just can't do it! Charity: Do what? Loud: Oh Charity,]
Charity: What is this? Popeye?
[I'm sorry I've been ignoring you lately,]
Charity: Huh?
[but let me explain why. (Takes a deep breath) There's something I've been meaning to tell you ever since we arrived in this city,]
Toast: You left your stove on.
[but since Gene returned I've tried to hide it from you and him. But I can't anymore. You deserve to know this after all you've done,]
Loud: YOU GOT BLUES EYES.
(Charity giggles)
[but you don't deserve the]
Pule: Award for Excellency.
[consequences that could happen if I do. Charity: okay, well since you can't hide whatever it is,]
Loud: (Charity) TAKE THE SKATEBOARD OUT OF YOUR SHIRT.
[you should say it so you can get it out of your system.]
Toast: A reference to Star Wars, dude.
[Loud: All right. (Takes a very deep breath)]
Charity: If you think this was hard, try doing it for the remaining of this stunt.
[Charity, let me first say that]
Pule: Randy, you're a fine girl.
[I couldn't be more happy or more thankful for what you've done to help me if I tried. It's been an honor to]
Loud: BE WORKING WITH YOU.
[be with you these last few months, and as afar as I know there's only one person I've met that could possibly be as loving and wonderfully sweet as you.]
Charity: And who could that be? Miss Info?
Loud: LIKE THAT WOULD STUNNED ME.
[(Charity blushes) But that's not what I want to say, those are just reasons.]
Toast: To get out of my house, dude.
[They're the reasons that I...(struggles to say it) I, I...]
Pule: I, I! Uh, dang! I can't remember the rest of that song!
Toast: Bummer, dude.
[Charity: You what? Loud: I...(finally manages to eke out a whisper)]
Pule: Eke?!
Toast: Dude, gross! Why did you say that?! That was so disgusting!
Pule: Wait, what is eke anyway?
Toast: Dunno.
[I love you. Charity: Is that it?]
Loud: (sarcastic) NO, I JUST LIKE TO SAY IT. OF COURSE, I LOVE YOU!
[(Loud nods) Well, in the unlikely event]
Toast: That the first director can't perform his duties.
(Others chuckled)
[you were afraid]
Charity: Of the Big Bad Wolf.
[I'd be mad or upset at you for saying that,]
Toast: Guess what? You're right.
[don't be. You know why? (She lifts his chin up and speaks very softly) Because I love you too. Loud: You, you do? Charity: Yes I do, and I've wanted to tell that since we got here too.]
Loud: (Charity) BUT I WAS TOO LAZY TO DO IT.
Charity: Hey!~
Loud: Just kidding, Char.
[But I've been afraid because... Loud: (finishing) Because of what Gene would do if he found out? THat's why I didn't tell you, I'm still afraid]
Pule: Of the dark.
[that if he finds out he'll kill you. Oh boy,]
Charity: Oh boy.
[it's gonna be harder to keep it a secret now that we know, and Gene's so smart]
Charity: He doesn't need anymore help with this movie.
[he'll figure it out very easily if he hasn't already, and... Charity: Sssh,]
Toast: (Charity) I am a tire now.
[you've been paranoid about this far too long. If he does find out, it really does matter,]
Loud: DOESN'T, DOESNT!
[he wants us all dead anyway.]
Pule: For talking through this movie.
[If he knows, we'll deal with it as we go. But I do love you, and I won't let him affect that. Loud: ]
You're right]
Loud: I AM CUTE.
[I should be stronger than this and less paranoid. (Hugs her) Thank you for lessening my regret of finally letting the big secret out.]
Pule: You mean he didn't?!?!!?
[Charity: (Hugging him back) Don't worry, we're going to be okay, we'll make it. (They hug for a few more seconds, then break slightly apart,]
Toast: Ouch dude.
[still holding each other. They just stare at each other for a second or two, then begin to instinctively move closer to each other. She puts her arms back around him, and he moves his right hand over to touch her face,]
Charity: Ooh.
Pule: Uh, what are you guys doing?
Charity: It's called kissing, Pule. Something we wish you do someday.
Pule: Hey!
[and brings his other hand to stroke her ponytail.]
Loud: THAT IS ONE HECK OF A PONY!
[Their eyes close just as their lips meet, however Loud's eyes open widely afterwards from the feeling of her lips kissing his. However he quickly loses himself in the]
Charity: Race.
[moment and kisses her back romantically and softly.]
[Miss Info and Harry are watching them are are obviously touched) Miss Info: I knew they had it in each other]
All: Gas.
[to come forward.]
Charity: And sign in, please.
[Harry: This moment is definitely one long overdue.]
Toast: Like a library book, dude.
[Aka; So they're kissing now? (Eager) Can we see?]
All: No!
[Harry: No, these moments are usually called]
Pule: Pathetic.
["private momenets.]
Pule: Do not enter.
[What's say we not make this an exception? (He closes the door and the kids groan, and then they all leave, just as inside, Loud and Charity finish their kiss with their eyes half open looking at each other as their lips part, somewhat reluctantly. They look at each other, and then Loud breaks]
Loud: THE VASE.
[into his happiest smile and hugs her again lovingly. She hugs him back the same way) (We cut to ebehind them as we see drapes over a window-]
Charity: Alfred Hitchcock presents.
[but there is an arm hanging out holding a tape recorder pointed at the happy couple. We then see who the arm belongs to:]
Toast: Ah, thank you, Thing.
[it's Vincent Morre, with a lockpick in his other hand which he used to open the window a crack.]
Toast: Which he should say no to, dude.
[He looks at the two with a frown,]
Pule: (Morre) I want in on some of that action.
[but then contemplates the information]
All: Huh?
[he has in his hand, and chuckles. He leaves with a sinister, devilish grin) (Cut to inside the Oval Office, as Gene is talking into a cell phone)]
Loud: HELLO, ANGELS.
[Nathan: (From the cell phone) We've been searching for an hour to an hour and a half, and nothing's coming up on our goggles,]
Charity: But bad TV shows.
[they must be hiding in too good of a place. Gene: Did you bother to knock and actually look in some of the houses?!]
Charity: You rude, rude person.
[Nathan: Yes, a few, but none of them worked either.]
Toast: Because no one was home, dude.
[Mr. Morre went out himself to start his own search, but we've heard nothing from him. The trail's getting colder and colder sir.]
Pule: That's because they are in Siberia.
[Gene: Nathan, let me ask you something.]
Loud: (Gene) DO I SOUNDED LIKE JIM CARREY WHEN I WAS YOUNG?
[Do you want the country to be a totalitarian society?]
Toast: You mean it wasn't?
[Do you want me to be a tyrant]
All: Too late.
[and deprive citizens everyone of happiness?]
Charity: And KFC chicken.
[Do you want your family's deaths unavenged?! Nathan: Of course not, sir. Gene: (Angry) Then find them now and in a hurry, NOW!! I can't take much more of this,]
Pule: I got to be in a better movie.
[find them, no excuses!!]
Loud: NOT EVEN FOR THE BATHROOM, GENE?
[(He hangs up angrily and a second later it rings again. He answers)]
Charity: Robot. I mean, Gene.
[Now what do you want?! Morre: I want to break a startling story to you.]
Toast: About Michael Jackson.
[Gene: Oh Vincent, hello. Sorry about that, I got off a bad call.]
Pule: Turns out my parents never die. (snickers)
[I heard you went off]
Pule: With their heads!
[to find them on your own. Morre: I did,]
Toast: And it didn't work.
[and I have great news. I found them, they're at Mr. Smartypants's lab. The goggles didn't detect them, but I had a feeling]
Charity: In my pants.
[they'd be there and it was correct.]
Loud: SIR! HIYO!
[Gene: Of course, why didn't I think of that?]
Toast: Because you were so stupid? Is this a trick question?
[This is wonderful! Morre: But it's not the most important news I have. Gene What are you talking about?]
Charity: Willis.
[Morre: Well, after I found them, I recorded a very interesting conversation between Loud and CHarity Bazaar that I think you should hear.]
Loud: (Morre) AND I TOOK A PICTURE. IT DID LAST LONGER.
[(Pulls out his tape recorder) Gene: I don't like the sound of that,]
Pule: Why? He farted?
[but go ahead.]
Charity: Make my day.
[(Morre pushes the Play button on the recorder]
Pule: But accidentally pushes the erase button instead.
[and we heard Loud and Charity's conversation, starting with Loud's reasons for loving her.]
Loud: GEEZ, DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THEM ALL OVER AGAIN?
Charity: Don't worry, dear. You don't have to.
Loud: THANKS, CHAR.
[When it gets to the part where Loud says he loves her, Gene frowns very deeply and takes a sip of wine from a glass.]
Toast: Dude, no alcoholic, please!
[But when it gets to the part where Charity says she loves her,]
Loud: HER?! WHAT THE...?!
Charity: Robert puts in the wrong word again.
Toast: Dude!
Pule: Eeew!
[he breaks the glass into a thousand pieces with his angry fist crushing it) Morre: That was pretty much the end of the conversation,]
Pule: It better be.
[but that was because they kissed afterwards. Gene: (Very eerily calm) Will you excuse me for a moment please? Morre: Of course.]
Charity: Gene is going to do a Homer Simpson!
[(He pulls on his earmuffs and puts them on) Five, four, three, two, one.]
Toast: Contact! And, uh, I don't remember the rest of that song, though.
Charity: Don't. It's annoying.
[(We hear Gene yelling indescribable profanities through the phone. After he's finished, he returns to his chair much more calmer.)]
Loud: GEEZ, WHAT A GRUMP.
Charity: I'm not happy.
Pule: Yeah, I can swear even better than that loser.
Toast: You?
Pule: Yeah, can you?
Toast: Nah.
[Gene: Okay, I have expressed my anger. I feel cleansed. Now, in light of this shocking news,]
Charity: You two and Morre maybe.
[we must take action! Vincent, can you get back to base very quickly?]
Pule: (Morre) No.
[Morre: Sure, I can just use my lockpicks to break into a car]
Toast: Oh, now he is stealing a skill from us!
Loud: WHAT A DOPE!
[and drive back to headquarters, it'll probably take me about 15 minutes if I go really fast.]
All: Shut Up!
[Gene: Good, make sure that prediction is correct]
Pule: Like Nostradamus's.
[and head back to base and call all the troops back with you,]
Charity: Calling all troops, calling all troops.
[then call a press conference to air all over the country.]
Loud: AND LOWER MEXICO.
[While you're doing that, I'll be sending some new devices that I just got finished with to help you in your new task. We have a new target to find.]
Toast: Bill Maher?
[Morre: Exactly what I had in mind.]
Toast: Oh, so it is Bill Maher.
[(Fade to later inside the tent.]
Pule: They are camping all the time.
[Morre is addressing the army]
Loud: HE CAN'T DO THAT! THE U.S.A. ALREADY GOT AN ADDRESS!!!
[with a TV camera in front of him) Morre: Just 20 minutes ago]
Charity: In a galaxy far, far away.
[we made a shocking discovery]
Charity: Bill Clinton is running for office again.
[that our arch foe, Loud Kiddington, is in love with former Histeria co star Charity Bazaar,]
Loud: HE AIN'T JOKING, PEOPLE!
(Charity giggles and kisses Loud, who blushes.)
[the depressed girl who always say]
Toat: I love you to Loud.
["I'm not happy" Obviously we cannot condone our enemy engaging in something like that.]
All: We condone it.
[Therefore, by order of Dr. Burrows,]
Pule: (Morre) We need to take three pills and call him in the morning.
[we have made Charity Bazaar our newest target! In other words,]
Loud: (Morre) I HAVE NO LIFE.
[she must be captured and killed along with Loud, Miss Info and Harry]
Toast: And Bill Maher.
[or the country will turn into Hades,]
Charity: Sorry. Hades was already made by Disney.
[a nightmare, you know by now. (Cut to Smartypants's lab as everyone but Charity is watching Morre's conference. Loud looks like a dagger has gone through his heart, and it pretty much has) Morre: And also,]
Pule: (Morre) Stop calling me Vincent Price or Peter Lorre!
[9 other bots come out of the shadows too) Sammy: (Watching the bots) You know, I'm beginning to get sick of]
Toast: Being in this movie, dude.
[seeing these things. Couldn't he have come up with a more cheery animal as the design for all his devices?]
Pule: Since when does a panda caused more damage than anything else?
[Morre: These spider bots, as Gene calls them are his prized inventions,]
Loud: DON'T BREAK THEM.
[so they'd better not be damaged when we find them. Well, that's about all the things I have to say to everyone, so ta ta Histerians]
Charity: Hey, that's isn't how Tigger's saying goes.
[wherever you are, and I'll see you later Charity. (The TV camera turn offs) Morre: All right men and women,]
Charity: Since when are the citizens right men and women now?
[there's one more thing I forgot to mention.]
Pule: (Morre) My real name is Edgar Allen Poe.
[The Histerians are at the lab of Mr. Smartypants 1243 Clover Lane]
Loud: THE CLOVER ONLY HAS EITHER 3 OR 4 LEAVES, YOU DOPE!
[Female Officer: Well why didn't you say so earlier?]
Toast: No, don't ask...
[Morre: Because]
All: (groans)
[we were world wide, do you think I'd say I know where they are with the risk of them]
Loud: KNOWING.
[hearing and leaving before we get them? In any case, a golden opportunity and a new target have been handed to us,]
All: (laughs)
[let's move out and take advantage! (The army cheers and heads out of the tent, Morre in front with the spider bots following him) (Back in the lab,]
Toast: Christopher Lloyd is trying to go back in time.
[Loud looks at the TV in somber contemplation)]
Charity: Because those words doesn't make sense.
[Loud: Just 25 minutes ago I finally declared my love for Charity, and now just as happiness comes my way my worst fear comes true!]
Pule: Pauly Shore got a talk show.
[Harry: And if they found out that quickly, it's obvious they know where we are! Loud: Oh my,]
Loud: INSERT VAIN WORD HERE.
[that certainly made things much worse. Where is she? Miss Info: She must have run off after the announcement. Loud: I've got to talk to her and get her out of here!]
Charity: I am already out of the room, Loud.
Loud: I MEAN OUTTA OF THE CITY, CHARITY.
Charity: Oh. Okay.
[(He runs away and finds her inside the bedroom sitting in the same spot where she declared her love 25 minutes ago) Charity, our worst fear has happened!]
Toast: (Loud) I got a headache!
[Charity: I know. I turned away]
Pule: Well, I want to turned away from this movie!
[after Morre came on, listening to the official announcement definitely wouldn't help.]
Pule: This movie doesn't help either.
[Loud: Listen, this confirms what I said before the declaration of our love. You have to get out of this city now!]
Loud: AND RETURN THE CAR TO ROBIN WILLIAMS.
[Charity: I told yoi before, I'm not leaving you.]
Charity: For anyone else.
[Loud: But the army will be here any minute. They even have a new legion of]
Toast: Super Heroes, dude.
[those spider bots with them. They're going to come at us with everything they've got, there are 6 hours left and they want you dead! Charity: Let them come,]
Toast: I dare them.
[I won't let them intimidate me into submission. Loud: All right, I'll try one more time.]
Pule: (Loud) And then, I will exploded my head.
Loud: HEY!
[Gene Burrows and Vincent Morre are already insane, revenge driven people who'll stop at nothing]
Loud: EXCEPT AT A STOP LIGHT.
[to kill us. They've wanted me most of all. Now that they know I love you, they're extremely angry and in an attempt to ruin my life before they end it,]
Charity: They have our show cancel.
[they'll stop at nothing to kill you. They're hard enough to deal with already, now they'll be 10 times worse! You don't want to face that.]
Charity: Too late.
[Charity: I'm not scared of them. I'm not going to lessen the ranks of people trying to save you. Loud: My goodness, CAN'T YOU THINK ABOUT YOURSELF FOR ONCE?!]
Loud: (Charity) NO.
[YOU ARE GOING TO DIE IF YOU STAY HERE, YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF THE CITY SO YOU'LL HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF SURVIVING!]
Toast: On Survivor, dude.
[YOU CAN'T STAY BECAUSE OF ME, I WON'T LET YOU!! (Stops abruptly) Oh my, I screamed at you. I am so sorry. Miss Info: Listen Charity, Loud only did that because he loves you.]
Pule: But what is this crap?
[He only wants the best for you,]
Loud: YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
[and you must admit, you'll better off]
Toast: Dead.
Charity: (annoyed) Ahem...
Toast: What? I was mocking a John Cusack movie. Geez. Take a chill pill, dudette.
[separating yourself with a whole city to hide in than staying here and battling an army that'll send you to the cemetery. Loud: That's what I've been saying. Please, go, before I yell at you again,]
Pule: And before he sounded like William Shatner again.
[don't let me doo that. Charity: Well, you're right, it does sound a bit foolish to not avoid them...]
Charity: And to see this movie.
[but how will I know you'll be okay? Loud: You won't,]
Loud: BYE NOW.
[we can't keep communication with each other or they could detect you. I know it's hard, but I can take care of myself, it's time to think about your safely after thinking so hard about mine. Harry: I'll get]
Charity: The hankies.
[all the supplied you'll need and find a map of the city. With it you can get out as quick as a button.]
Toast: How can a button be quick?
Pule: I don't know.
[Smartypants: And I'll get all the supples the rest of us need to battle the army when they come so you'll see we'll be all right. (Fade to later as Charity, wearing a backpack, trenchcoat and hat covering her face is about leave)]
Pule: (amazed) Boy, she changes quickly, doesn't she?
[Charity: Well...sigh, I don't know how I can leave without]
Loud: ME.
[the thought that I may never see you guys again. Father Time: Don't think about those thoughts,]
Charity: Who is he? Peter Pan?
[we'll survive,]
All: (singing) We'll survive!
[defeat Gene and then you and the rest of us will be safe, think about that. Charity: I'll try. (To Loud) But it'll probably be overshadowed by my worring about you. Loud: Just try not to think about me,]
Toast: No way, dude!
[it'll dampen your thoughts.]
Pule: Worser than rain.
[Although that probably is something that'll be hard for me to do concerning you. (Lowers his head) Go on,]
Pule: Go to the Broadway show.
[you should head out before they arrive. (Charity puts the hat back over her head and runs out. The others watch her go. Loud has a small tear appear in his eye, which Miss Info wipes off. She put her arm around him]
Charity: Not so fast, Miss Info.
Loud; CHARITY, DON'T DO THAT.
Charity: I will if she does.
[and walks him back inside, and they all follow them inside, closing the door (Fade to a street around the corner from the lab, as Morre looks at the far away]
Toast: Forgot to put the "and" in there, dude.
[building with the rest of the army and the bots) Morre: There they are, everyone. Now I'm getting tired of going on these searches]
Loud: ON THE INTERNET.
[to find them, so let's make this our last battle with them, all right? Tress: I'm sure it will be,]
All: Heck!
[I mean we have those spider bots with us now. Morre: I'd like to be sure about that, but they did defeat these things before, but he improved them drastically now. And, if anyone sees Loud and/or Charity near you,]
Toast: (Morre) Have someone kill me, okay?
[report it to me first because _I_ want the honor of capturing them! Gene's not happy]
Charity: Neither am I.
[that they're in love, and I'm not either, so I want to end it immedediately, me! Loud and Charity are mine, they're mine, MINE DO YOU HEAR?!]
Loud: WHO MORRE THINK HE IS TRYING TO COPY?
[Nathan: (Pause) I gotta tell you,]
Pule: You're an idiot.
[if you're trying not to be compared to Peter Lorre, that sure didn't help. Morre: (Growling) Let's just send the spider bots. (Morre pulls out another remote and after pressing it, the bots become invisible while walking toward the lab.]
Charity: (doubtful) If they're invisible, how can we see them?
[Back inside, the Histerians are gathering various devices) Harry: (Looking into his watch)]
Pule: (Harry) Oh, that's my watch. It does that every hour.
[We'd better hurry,]
Loud: THE SIMPSONS ARE ON.
[it's pretty obvious they'll be here any minute. W.O.W: And remind me, which kinds of devices are we grabbing? There are a lot of kinds to choose. Harry: Two kinds,]
Toast: To put on the ark.
[ones to help us for later in the inevitable confrontation with Gene for the fate of the nation, and ones to defeat the army and bots so we can keep the possibility of having one.]
Loud: AND ONES FOR THE LITTLE BOY WHO LIVED DOWN THE LANE.
[Sammy: You guys do remember how to defeat those things, right?]
Pule: Uh, none of us rememeber, I guess.
[Miss Info: Yes, you told us, we just have to destroy one bot, then use it's remains to destroy the others.]
All: And Bobby came in where the others has been.
[While they're talking, they don't see the front door slightly opening)]
Toast: Hey, dudes, wasn't he in Peter Pan & the Pirates?
[Sammy: That's right. Though we may need to use some actual weapons to start things off, since Mr. Tesla isn't here to scare the bots to death by saying he's Walken.]
Charity: So you can scared them by saying you're a lame game show host?
[Smartypants: Don't you think we should lay those old Walken jokes to death already, they stopped being funny after the 20th time. Harry: Well, we'll have to debate that later, I'll look for any signs]
Loud: SO CARS DON'T COME CRASHING INTO EACH OTHER.
[of the army. (He walks over to the window, but suddenly bangs into something unseen) Ow!]
Charity: He hit the camera.
[Do you have some sort of invisible device here you didn't tell me about? Smartypants: No, I haven't had time to start that yet. Harry: Then what's this?]
Pule: The camera, duh.
[(Feels the invisible device)]
All: Eeeewww!
[This is metal obviously, hmm, these legs feel a bit thin. (Realizes the door is open) Thin legs, and the door is open?]
Toast: It's Paul Reiser!
All: (screaming)
[Plus it's invisible...oh no, it's a spider bot! The spider bots are here!! (As if on cue) objects like a lamp,]
Pule: Hope Jafar isn't in there.
Charity: Yeah, that would be terrible.
[table and plants fly towards the Histerians,]
Loud: (plants) THE UGLY PLANTS TAKE REVENGE.
[but they duck in time) Father Time: They're throwing things at us, that's a new technique for them. Smartypants: Throw things back, then we'll know where they are. (Suddenly]
Charity: Susan.
[something picks up Toast and throws him to the ground) Toast: (Dazed) Found one dude.]
Toast: What do you want me to do with it?
[Smartypants: Looks like we'll need to use this prototype gun prematurely.]
All: Make sense, Smartypants!
[(He pulls out a gun exactly like the army's, but before he fires, a bright green light blinds him.]
Toast: Dude, The Hulk is late.
[When he gets his eyesight back, through his P.O.V]
Pule: Pop Of Veal?
[we see a spider bot in the air landing on him) Aka: Hey, let go of him, you bad bot! (She runs toward the bot, but another bot blocks her way.]
Loud: (Queen of Hearts) YOUR WAY?! AROUND HERE, IT'S MY WAY!!!
[The rest of the bots surround the others. The army then makes their entrance)]
Charity: You think the door was already created already.
[Morre: We've gotcha now. All right, fire the nets at them! Remember now that Gene's gone]
Charity: He isn't dead yet, you dope!
[we need to capture them again! Loud: (To himself) I hate to reference it, but it's the only way to distract them.]
Toast: Christopher Walken, dude?
[(Aloud) Hey, isn't that Charity running away in another room?]
Loud: WRONG. CHARITY IS RIGHT HERE.
[(The army members and the bots turn around, but of course see nothing. When they turn back around, the good guys are finishing running up the stairs) Morre: Ugh, I should have _known_ he'd do that!]
Pule: (Morre) I also should have brought Kathy Griffin.
[You guys and the bots get them, but I want a group covering the entire building to find her for real! (Upstairs, the group is, well, regrouping in another bedroom)]
Loud: ANOTHER ONE? HOW MANY BEDROOMS DID SMARTYPANTS HAVE ANYWAY?
[Cho-Cho: Whew, that was close. Miss info: I've only seen them for a few minutes and already]
Charity: (Miss Info) I am scared.
[I must know how scared y'all must have been when you faced them. Pepper: Isn't there any metal we can use to drive through those things?]
Toast: Well, I got Ozzy Osbourne. Will that work?
[Smartypants: It's all downstairs, and I don't think going back down there is a good option now.]
Pule: And being in this movie isn't a good option, either.
[of a raised pointed leg rises above their heads, then we see the leg come down and almost hit them. The spider bot owning the leg walks up to them, and swings his]
Charity: Partner, doughy dough!
[leg at them several time missing narrowly) Harry: All right, let me have that gun.]
Toast: (Smartypants) No! It's mine, you can't have it!
[I'll have to test the laser part of it. (He aims the gun, backs away from the bot, and fires. However, the blast hits something green briefly seen covering the bot,]
Pule: Is it Jello? That is scary, isn't it?
[and nothing happens to it) Sammy: (Slowly) Okay it has a shield now, this is not good.]
Pule: Sammy stole that line from Edd.
[Pepper: Not good? This is the W-O-R-S-T]
All: (singing) What does it mean to me?
[worst thing that could possibly happen! AHHHH! (Just then a net covers her)]
Toast: Thank you, whoever just fired!
[Then again that ranks right up there. (Morre comes in, and other soldiers block the way out) Morre: All right, before we fire, one question.]
Loud: I THOUGHT IT WAS CALLED 50 QUESTIONS?
[Loud, where's your girlfriend,]
Charity: Right here watching this movie.
[I'm surprised she's not with you. Loud: If you think I'm going to tell you, you're crazier than I thought.]
Toast: (snickering) No argument here.
[Morre: Well, I should have anticipated you'd be that insolent, I knew that'd happen the minute I found you kissing and told Gene the news. (Loud looks at him shocked, then quickly looks angry, knowing he's looking at the man who ruined him and Charity) Loud: You...YOU! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!!!]
Loud: BUT THE KITCHEN SINK!
[(He charges at Morre]
Pule: Better pay him, Morre.
[and tackles him, then begins to hit him hard) GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON NOT TO HURT YOU!!]
Charity: Well, you're killing him for one.
[(For an answer, the bot comes behind him and pulls him off Morre, then it moves toward him, a gun coming out of it's forehead. He gets up just as it shoots a net from it's gun. This distraction gives everyone the window to escape,]
Charity: You mean they are getting out the house?
[but Fetch, Cho-Cho and Lucky Bob get caught in the bot's otherwise missed nets)]
Pule: Oh, they just have to get caught, did they?
[Froggo: Hey, shouldn't we go back after them? Harry: As long as they're after us, they'll let them be. Aka: So, how do we make them let us be?]
Loud: BE WHAT? MAKE SENSE, PEOPLE!
[(Anoter bot jumps in front of them) Miss Info: Thinking of something now would be good! (They run from the bot, which is like the last one shooting nets at them. However they don't get far as the soldiers block they way downstairs. They then look below]
Toast: The belt, dude.
[the railing and see the floor visible with the rest of the soldiers and bot there. With little choice, they jump from the railing]
Loud: SITTING BULL!
[just before the bot's leg gets them, and land to the ground) Smartypants: All right, there are metal bars nearby I was gonna use for future devices, but now would be a good time]
Toast: Dude, Father Time is always good.
[to use them against these things, get them! (They run over to a pile of parts and bars and grab various pieces. A soldier is about to fire as they do so, but Morre interrupts) Morre: Stop, hold your fire for a minute.]
Charity: We don't want to call the fire department.
[This battle could very well be quality entertainment for us to enjoy.]
Pule: (Dry) Not for us it isn't.
[Harry: (To his friends) Everyone has their parts and bars? (They nod) Then charge!]
Loud: A MILLION OR A HUNDRED!
[(Harry charges toward a bot holding a large metal bar.]
Charity: The spider has a bar now? That isn't fair.
[He prepares to drive it through the bot's stomach, but when he does, it only hits it's shield doing no damage. He tries again a few times to drive it through, until the bot's lower right leg drives through the bar itself and throws it away.]
Toast: Dude, that is it's drop your weapons program.
[He runs) (Nearby, the remaining kids jump onto another bot and are right on top of it) Loud: HEY MR BOT!]
Pule: Your wife just called!
[I'LL BET YOU CAN'T GET US FROM UP HERE! Toast: Probably not, but try anyway, dude, we dare you. Froggo: I can top that, I double care]
Pule: Which isn't on Nick anymore.
[that thing to get us from here. Aka: I'd triple dare it, but it looks like it already took up from that offer! (The bot's lower leg raises above them, and it comes down. The kids move away, but instead of the leg driving through it's own self, it only hits the shield again doing nothing.]
Loud: THEN WHAT'S THAT THEN?
[It then tries to hit them again, but they jump off this time, and again no damage is done as the bot hits itself) (Behind them, another bot lines up it's gun at them. Smartypants notices this and crawls onto the floor, pulling out tools]
Charity: No comment.
[The bot fires it's gun at the kids, but thankfully they noticed in time and run. While it continues to fire, Smartypants goes directly below it]
Toast: Dude, that's so below the belt.
[and tries to use his tools to take it apart. But his tools only touch the shield and don't even get to the metal. He pokes the shield for a while trying to break through it, but nothing works.]
Toast: Dude, even this movie never works!
[Just then he notices that the bot's head is staring directly at him,]
Pule: It isn't nice to stare.
[gun lined up. It shoots a laser blast but misses and the blast hits the bot's leg, but with the shield, that doesn't affect it at all) (Finally, all of the Histerians regroup) Sammy: We've hit it with everything]
Loud: BUT THE KITCHEN SINK.
[we've got and they're still coming! Smartypants: They can't shoot at us if they don't see us. (He pulls out a pen,]
Charity: This isn't his last will and testament, people.
Loud: I KNOW.
[which is the pen designed to shoot fire for fireplaces from much earlier)]
Loud: OH, THAT IS TOO MUCH A PLOT POINT!
[Now that I reprogrammed it to shoot at these things, let's see if]
Charity: The pen is mightier than the spider.
[that shield can hold up against man's deadly non human and non metal foe! (He clicks the pen and fire shoots from it and lands on the head of the bot. Though the shield blocks it from hitting metal,]
Loud: AND FOR ENTERTAINING OZZY OSBOURNE.
[it still is blinding the bot's eyes. But it's front leg wipes]
Toast: Dude, it is a fireshield wiper.
[the fire from the head, doing no damage to it of course, and it's now on the leg.]
Pule: (Spider-bot) AAAHH! Get it off, get it off!!!
[It then throws the fire back at the good guys, narrowly missing. They then put out the fire) W.O.W: Nothing can stop these things, can it? Morre: No, that's the general point!]
Loud: WHO'S GENERAL POINT ANYWAY?
[I think we've had enough entertainment for now,]
Pule: This is entertainment?
Charity: Not entertainment tonight, that's for sure.
[resume fire! (The Histerians run from the fire of the army and the bots. They go into another room and hide behind a table literally covered with equipment) Harry: This is all very sensitive equipment and devices, isn't it? Smartypants: Well, most of it,]
Charity: No.
[yes. Harry: Well we'll have to see how sensitive it is by throwing it all, it's our last hope!]
Toast: Dude, I thought Obi-Wan Kenobi was the last hope.
[(The bots then come into the room. Immediately the cast throws all the equipment they can grab at them, some explode, some break instantly]
Loud: WINNER.
[with debris going all over them, but nothing breaks the shield. They continue to throw everything they can as the bots come closer to them, but still nothing works and they're almost at the table. All the soldiers then arrive and aim their guns) Father Time: Let's face it,]
Charity: 24 1/2 Hours is better than this.
[we can't stop these things this time. I hate to say it, but only a miracle could save us now!]
Toast: Dude, is Mel Brooks going to show up now?
[Fetch's Voice: You've got it! (The bots and everyone else turns around and sees Pepper, Fetch, Cho-Cho and Lucky Bob)]
Pule: (Morre) Dang it, I was hoping for a horse.
[Muldoon: What the,]
Pule: Insert F word here.
[I thought we trapped you people! Pepper: Never understimate the power of]
Loud: THE FORCE.
[a good switchblade knife, luckily I remembered we all have one now to get out. Nathan: I told you]
Charity: So.
[guys we should have guarded them! Morre: Speaking of which, shouldn't someone be guarding out targets, because THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!]
Toast: Dude, I seen better escape scenes in "The Lion King".
[(While he's screaming,]
Toast: Keanu Reeves came over and hit him in the face.
[the four escapees join the others who are going into another room behind the army's back. The soldiers turn around finally and see noe one's there.]
Pule: (Soldier) Although I did I see them going into another room behind our backs.
[Behind them, the door of the room of the Histerians are in locks. We now see what room they're in: it's Gene's cave)]
Charity: Oh yeah, thank idea. I rather see the Bat Cave!
[Cho-Cho: (Whispering) I have two questions.]
Loud: 1.RIDDLE ME THIS, RIDDLE ME THAT, WHO'S AFRAID OF THE BIG BLACK BAT? AND 2.WHO KILLED KENNY?
[Are you guys ok, and what is this place?]
All: Hades!
[Smartypants: It's an underground cave, Gene used it to build the spider, that's answering question 2.]
Charity: You must put your question in form of an answer.
[And questions 1's answer is, not really. Harry: Those shields are impenetrable, we've done all we can do, nothing can get through it. Loud: These must be some weakness to their shields, every device that's that powerful has to have one,]
Loud: (snickering) UNFORTUNATELY, I CAN'T THINK OF ANY RIGHT NOW.
[but Gene may have just fixed the]
Toast: Car, dude.
[only weakness to his previous bots. Pepper: Gasp! I've got it!]
Pule: A headache!
[I know how to stop them! Sammy: What is it, tell us, quick!]
Loud: HER NAME IS PEPPER, NOT QUICK!
[Pepper: We can do what Jeff Goldblum did in "Independnce Day",]
Toast: Failed to give the warning in time.
[infect those shields with a computer virus, and they'll be disabled! It worked in the movie, it'll have to work for us! Harry: This isn't a movie,]
All: Huh-uh.
[you're asking us to use an idea form]
Charity: Shouldn't it be from?
[a brainless, totally illogical, testosterone filled movie, and use the most illogical plot point in it to defeat them?! Besides, we don't even know how he got into their computers and why the aliens had defenses for everything except that, that's why it's illogical!]
Pule: Oh, come one! That movie wasn't that bad. I liked Bill Pullman as the president.
Toast: True, and Will Smith was pretty good in it, believe me.
Charity: Well, they should have done it early.
Loud: TRUE, IT'S TRUE.
[Smartypants: Actually, before Gene arrived I was planning to]
Loud: TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
[make a virus so all my devices wouldn't work if they fell into the wrong hands. I still have a prototype inside my laptop,]
Charity: Oh, geez. I wonder where that should be.
[with a few changes I can make the virus powerful enough to hack into their defense systems and destroy the shields! Harry: You can do that?!]
Toast: (Smartypants) Not really. What gave you that idea?
[Smartypants: Yes I can, and it'll be simpler and more logical because I'm brilliant]
Pule: Like Wile E. Coyote but not as stupid.
[and can do it easier, and I'm not a cardboard brainless character like in the movie,]
Pule: Hey, don't diss Goldblum like that. He was good in "Jurassic Park".
[which is why that was illogical. Pepper: Hey, I loved that movie, don't go over analyzing it like that!]
[so we'll have enough time to create this powerful virus. I'll help Smartypants with you, you keep an ear out for the army. (Outside the cave, the army and bots are still searching for them) Morre: They could have gone anywhere while we were distracted,]
Loud: (Morre) THEY MAY BE BEHIND US? I DON'T KNOW.
[and worse they're probably right under our noses]
All: EEEEEWWWW!
[and we don't know it. (A soldier comes running up to him) Soldier: Sir, sir!]
Toast: Dude, there's an echo in here. Dude, there's an echo in here.
Loud: WHAT? WHAT?
Pule: Huh. Huh.
Charity: Stop it.
[You sent a small group to find Charity Bazaar,]
Pule: (Morre) I did?
[well we finished our search and she's nowhere in sight in this building. Morre: You're sure, you know what she looks like? Soldier: Yeah we know, blond hair, ponytail, depressed look on her face, she's the one who's head you almost cut off, we remember.]
Loud: AND SHE'S SITTING NEXT TO ME RIGHT NOW.
[She's not in this building, and we looked all over long before the others disappeared. Morre: Hmm, well, I can't say I'm surprised.]
Charity: You just did, you ignorance.
[But, this recent reminder of her has given me an idea to draw]
Toast: A picture, it will last longer, dude.
[the others, particularly Loud, out. (He pulls out a small CD]
Pule: Yeah, I see these all right.
All: (laughing)
[player and a CD) Gene was seriously considering using this song for the giant spider's arrival,]
Loud: BUT HE DECIDED, "AH, THE HECK WITH IT!"
[but I've jut found a new, more fitting to use for it. (He puts in the CD and the song begins to play. And horror of horrors, it's the infamous song "My Heart Will Go On" from Titanic.]
Loud: (moaning) OH, OH. I AM BEING PUNISHED FOR SOMETHING, I JUST KNOW IT. WHAT JUST HAPPENED, I DIDN'T ASK TO HEAR THIS SONG AGAIN!!!!!
Charity: Loud, calm down!
Toast: Yeah, neither are we, dude.
[Even Morre shudders at hearing it) Morre: Ugh, such an overplayed and sappy song...(more aloud) I mean, just listen to it,]
Charity: Nah. You go ahead.
[it's so sad and romantic. (Inside the cave, the Histerians can hear the cursed song)]
Toast: Dude, we are hearing a Marilyn Manson song?
[Sammy: Are they trying to drive us insane]
Pule: More than we already are.
[by making us hear that overplayed, sappy and sugary sweet song? Harry: I couldn't think of a more devious plan!]
Pule: Harry turning evil?
[We'd better hurry with that virus! Loud: Oy, I know what you mean. That song is only so famous because]
Loud: THAT WITCH CELINE DION WAS SINGING IT.
[it's associated with the highest money making money of all time,]
Toast: It better not be Shrek.
[which reminds everyone of the heartfelt love story...]
Charity: That's it, I'm leaving.
[and I wouldn't have referenced that except thinking of that love story reminds me of Charity, and how we've just been dealt...(sad) tragedy. And, and that tragedy...(bitter) is also reminding of the person who caused that]
Toast: Isn't the captain already dead?
[and is undoubtedly playing that song to remind me of it! VINCENT MORRE!!]
Pule: (Morre) What?
[(Without thinking, he charges toward the door,]
Loud: THE DOOR BETTER PAY ME.
[opens it, and at the first sight of Morre, runs to tackle him again. But Morre hits him first and he falls)]
[Morre: Oh poor, love stricken Loud, I knew that song would set off the ticking time bomb]
Loud: WELL, I TURN IT OFF A FEW MINUTES AGO.
[in your heart. The rest of you may as well come out,]
Charity: We would if we could.
[we know where you are now! (The soldiers run into the cave) Miss Info: Quick Smartypants, you and Harry]
Toast: Act Polish!
[have got to get out of here! (Notices they're gone) Hmm, thanks for taking my advice! Nathan: (Coming behind her and pointing his gun) Here's my own advice.]
Pule: Don't go chasing waterfalls.
[Get out there and be captured like a good dimwit! (Inside the room all the Histerians, except for Harry and Smartypants, are beind held at gun point by the army) Morre: Send some troops after those two remaining two geniuses.]
Pule: Oh, and go after Janet Reno as well.
[Meanwhile, we're going to play a little game of truth, or death.]
Toast: Okay, I choose death.
[Loud, where's Charity?!]
Loud: SHE'S RIGHT HERE! HOW STUPID ARE YOU?!
[Loud: I don't know what you're talking about. Morre: You don't? Well, maybe this'll open that big mouth of yours to talk. Bots!]
Charity: Tom!
Toast: Louis!
Loud: MR. D!
Pule: Chief!
Toast: McCloud!
[(The spider bots come up and points their guns at everyone except for Loud and Miss Info)]
Toast: Oh, what so special about them, dude?
Charity: Gene only wanted to captured me, Loud, Harry, and Miss Info captured so he can kill them.
Toast: Oh, good point.
[These guns are set to kill,]
Loud: COURTESY OF CAPTAIN PICARD.
[tell me now or we'll have some messy demonstrations of them! Loud: YOU CAN'T SHOOT THEM,]
Pule: You will affect the space-time continuum!
[PLEASE DON'T! Morre: Then you'll tell me? Loud: I HAVE NO IDEA]
Charity: Yes he does.
[WHERE SHE IS, REALLY. BELIEVE ME, I'M TELLING THE TRUTH. AND IF I DON'T KNOW, YOU OBVIOUSLY WILL NEVER KNOW YOURSELF. Morre: Yes we will! Now, let's try this again,]
Charity: Press the reset button now.
[and I want the right answer in 5 seconds. Why isn't she here,]
Pule: Because you're a dope, Morre.
[what did you do?!]
Loud: MAKING FUN OF THIS MOVIE FOR ONE.
[You're hiding something, and you're going to unhide it or we open fire!]
Toast: On some girl scouts.
[Loud: Let me put this in terms you of all people can understand.]
Loud: YOU...ARE...STUPID!
[(Pause) NO!!!!!!!!! Morre: Ow! That's it,]
Toast: I am going home to mother.
[bots, open fire! (Forces Loud's eyes open) I want you to see the consequences of your actions. You were afraid]
Charity: Of the dark.
[Charity would die if you told her your feelings, well she will, but they'r egoing first. (The bots are about to open fire, but just them]
Pule: Just them?
Loud: ROBERT SHOULD OF PUT IN THEN.
[another metal bar flies]
Loud: WHAT ON EARTH ARE METAL BAR FLIES? METAL VERSIONS OF DRUNKS?
[toward the stomach of a bot, but this time, it successfully goes through it. The bot staggers a bit, then falls to the ground) Muldoon: What just happened?]
Charity: This movie starting to not make any sense.
[(Harry comes from behind and grabs him) Harry: I'll tell you soldier.]
Toast: (Harry) But then I will have to kill you.
[Your shields have been deactivated! Miss Info: The virus worked! We're saved!]
Pule: Our annoying shield plot point is over.
[Come on, let's get them! (Before the soldiers can recover from the news of the shield's deactivation, the Histerians are able to get away from them. They them]
All: It's then!
[pick up their parts]
All: Gross!
[and bars from earlier) Loud: ATTACK THE BOTS!]
Pule: Okay, loud marshal child.
[(The bots run toward them, but they hit them with their parts and bars, stopping their movement. Harry drives his new bar through the neck of a bot,]
Loud: HARRY IS TRYING A SPIDER NECK PINCH.
[causing it to stagger and explode. Loud climbs up on a bot and, like before it raises it's leg at him, misses and hits itself,]
Charity: It's a Curly Spider bot!
Loud: (making Curly Howard noises)
[but this time it goes through itself and exploded) Morre: Don't just stand there]
Toast: Ba-Ba Booey.
[soldiers, stop them!]
Toast: (Soldier) But what about our union break?
[(The soldiers fire their nets]
Pule: And their hair dresser.
[buts, as usual, miss, and one net covers the face of a bot, making it hard to see for the bot.]
Charity: Those dopes can hit a broad side of a building.
[Before it recovers, Miss Info swings a bar towards its neck, then Sammy does the same, and its head quickly falls off. Now the Histerians pick up the remains of the bots pointed legs and charge at them. The bots defend themselves by using their legs like swords]
Loud: WELCOME TO TREASURE PLANET!
[to deflect their blows.]
Loud: FOR ALL I KNOW, THIS MOVIE BLOWS!
[They do this for a few seconds, until Smartypants again goes below a bot and this time drives the]
Pule: Car.
[leg into the bottom of its stomach.]
Toast: Alan Hale chews a sandwich.
[It quickly staggers and falls. The rest start to do this until Morre can watch no more)]
[(He runs out of the lab and after a second, only one bot comes out with him)]
Charity: (chuckles) The others has to drop out of the movie because of too many after school activities.
[Phew, we still have one. All right, now the only victory we can win is to slow down their evacuation to another building, A.K.A,]
Toast: Some dude's house.
[destroy their cars. (The spider bots walks towards the four cars in front and prepares to fire, until the Histerians come outside and see this. Harry points his gun at the bot) Harry: Hold it, spidy!]
Pule: It is too late to start in "Spider-Man".
[Make one move towards those cars and you'll join your companions!]
Pule: In our city of death!
[I repeat,]
All: Make one move towards those cars and you'll join your companions!
[step away from the vehicle now!]
Charity: Don't think of robbing it.
[(The bot looks thoughtful, then walks in front of Harry's care. Harry prepares to fire) Loud: Stop Harry, don't shoot,]
Loud: OR MY MOM WILL.
[he's too close to the car! Harry: Seems like either way it'll be destroyer,]
Toast: Or towed.
[so... Morre: Will you shut up and]
Toast: Jam.
[look?! If you'll look, you'll see it's not destroying them, why]
Charity: Because we hate you.
[I don't know. (He's right, the bot is pushing Harry's car backwards and the back of the car hits Sammy's car.]
All: (cheering)
[It then goes to Father Time's car and lightly pushes it so the front hits the back of Sammy's car. It then does the same with W.O.W's car so now the cars are in a perfect straight line)]
Loud: HEY! IT'S AM OUTDOOR BUMPER CARS!
Charity: Neat!
[W.O.W: Wha do you think it's up to? Harry: I don't think we should wait to find out. I've got him. (He fires the gun, but the bot jumps away and the blast flies just above the cars and hits]
Pule: Some innocent children.
[the road. The bot then jump onto Harry's car, driving it's leg through the roof.]
Charity: (Spider-bot) Okay, I got my legs on the gas pump, will someone please drive this piece of junk?!
[Now it's legs are on the floor]
All: (singing) Gotta get up to get down, gotta get up to get down!
[and seats of the car) Morre: Oh, I think I've got it now!]
Pule: (Morre) I stunk.
[Dr. Norman,]
Toast: Heh, about time he prefers Harry to his professional, dude.
[I wouldn't fire now if I were you,]
Loud: IF HARRY IS MORRE, HE WOULD KILL HIMSELF RIGHT NOW.
[because it's about to do the same thing your shot would do.]
Loud: HURTS HELPLESS KIDDIES.
[(The middle left leg of the bot opens a hatch at the bottom of it's stomacn. It reaches inside and presses a button labeled]
Toast: Service Engine Soon.
["Self Destruct" True to its word,]
Charity: She turns the lights off.
[the bot self destructs, and the explosion quickly destroys the car. Then the combined fire of the bot and cars explosion spreads to Sammy's car and it explodes. The fire from that explosion]
Pule: Okay, movie, we get it, we get it.
[spreads into Father Time's car and it explodes soon enough, and the same thing then happens to the last car)]
Loud: (Robert) SO I WON'T REPEAT IT, SO THERE.
[Toast: Aw nuts, now we're back to using our legs again, dudes. Sammy: In that case, we'd better use them quickly and amscray!]
Charity: You amscray.
[Loud: Run to the left, it'll get us closer to the White House! (They run away to the left, and the following soldiers aim their guns) Morre: Stop!]
Toast: Or my mom will shoot.
[Hold your fire, we don't need them now. Stacy: Have you lost your marbles,]
Pule: (Morre) Yep. Duh.
[we have almost 5 hours left before the end of freedom,]
Pule: And the end of this movie.
[of course we need them now! Morre: No we don't. Because I've come up with something that'll end these searches.]
Loud: TAKE AWAY THEIR INTERNET PRIVAILAGES.
[I want a city wide search put out to find Charity Bazaar! Tress: All right, we can do that, but why just her,]
Charity: Why not?
[we still have three other targets to capture.]
Toast: Iraq, Iran, and France.
[Morre: We'll capture them, but with this we don't need to engage]
Loud: TO ADAM SANDLER, THANKS GOODNESS.
[in these battles to do so. Once we find and capture here, they will come to us. Nathan: Gasp, oh I think I understand what you mea.]
Pule: (Nathan) I should have gotten a better agent.
[We're gonna use the old "capture the enemies girlfriend to lure him into capture" trick!]
Charity: Oh come on, can't they try something new for once?
[Morre: Exactly.]
Charity: You win a cookie.
[Let's head back to base to organize the search, and quickly. Let it be known]
Pule: (Morre) That my name is now Frank Mars.
[I'm not in a good mood about this, so let's find her quick to fix that. (Back on the road, the Histerians are stunned watching people everywhere evacuating their homes) Fetch: At least now we won't have problems finding a new hideout. Harry: Avoiding being found]
Loud: AND STAYING IN THEIR MOVIE.
[and reported to the army will be much tougher. Don't we have any more hats and trenchcoats in which to hide ourselves?]
Toast: And the cast of Real World.
[Smartypants: Just a minute. (He goes inside his pants and after a while, finds many trenchcoats and many hats)]
Loud: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHERE HE PUT THEM IN THERE.
[Here, put them on and then hide.]
Pule: Geez, shouldn't he have dry-cleaned them first?
[(They do so quickly, then hide next to the wall of a house. They see the owners of that house getting into their cars and driving away, but that's a bit hard with people and other cars everywhere) Harry: Okay, I guess we're clear]
Toast: Because we used a paint remover, dude.
[to use that house. (He pulls out another lockpick and runs in a hurry to the door. He quickly opens it and the rest go inside, then lock the door)]
Charity: Keep out the devil, mon.
[Miss Info: So this is our final base of operations. Froggo: What do you mean, final base?]
Loud: BASEBALL IS BEING BANNED, FROGGO.
[Harry: She means it's time for us to start the planning for our overthrow of Gene. Pepper: You mean we're going to battle him and his giant spider]
Charity: And Vincent Morre and the state of Wisconsin.
[in one of those trademark Final Confrontations? (T.M) Hary: Now we all knew that we'd have to, and I'm taking charge of it! Starting now, we must use every thought in our brains]
Toast: That we no longer have.
[on how we're going to save this country and stop Gene once and for all! Loud: For me, that'll be a little hard. I shouldn't bring this up at a time like this, but]
[I sure hope Charity's out of the city by now. I'd give anything to know if she's okay,]
Loud: EXCEPT FOR FETCH, THAT IS.
[I hope I didn't make a mistake. Father Time: You did the only thing you could do.]
Charity: Scream like heck and die.
[I know how much you're worried about her, I'm worried too,]
Toast: Nice to meet ya. I'm Toast.
[but now the only thing we can do to help is topple Gene's ruler. The sooner we overthrow him,]
Pule: The better.
[the sooner she'll be safe.]
Pule: On first.
[Loud: I know, you're right. I just hope the army doesn't figure out what we've done before she gets out. (Cut back to the Oval Office as Gene is again talking to Morre on the phone) Gene: You've looked through most of the areas]
Toast: Heh heh heh. (clears throat, whistles)
[of this city and found nothing?! Morre: That's right, we've been tracking every area we can that she may have gone to, and still there's no sign]
Charity: Except for stop signs, that is.
[of her. But we are starting our search of the areas that lead out of the city. Gene: Listen Vincent,]
Loud: I HATE YOU.
[when you told me about the plan, I was ecstatic.]
Toast: What is that word anyway?
[It is a perfect way to finally draw]
Loud: A PAINTING!
[them to us for destruction. But it's noon,]
Pule: Clint Eastwood is coming.
[you've searched for an hour, and that hasn't happened, has it?]
Charity: Is this on the test?!
[I have no patience]
Charity: (Gene) Because I am a bad doctor.
[for this, in 4 hours hundreds of millions of people around the country will have thir lives changed for the worst if they're not killed,]
Loud: THEIR LIVES ARE ALREADY WORST, YOU BIG DOPE.
[and all this is giving me more motivation to make it worse! Morre: Are you leading up to something,]
All: Yes.
[because this speech doesn't seem to have much of a point I haven't heard before. Gene: Yes, I don't care what areas you're searching,]
Pule: (Gene) Stay away from mine.
Others: Pule!
Pule: What?!
[I don't care what you do to find her, just find her, and do it now!!]
Toast: And so ends the reference to 101 Dalmations.
[(He hangs up. Morre puts away his phone just as Nathan runs up to him) Nathan: Sir, sir!]
Loud: STOP WITH THE ECHO ALREADY, NATHAN!
[I have news! Morre: If it's not good news,]
Toast: Then sent it to Mel Brooks.
[I swear]
Pule: ****!
[I'm going to take it out on someone, and you my friend are]
Charity: Not my friend.
[the most likely candidate. Nathan: Oh, then it gives me more pleasure to announce this.]
Loud: (Nathan) MY WIFE IS HAVING A BABY!
Pule: (Morre) Your wife is dead, remember?
Loud: (Nathan) OH YEAH. DANG!
[We've found her.]
Charity: Jodie Foster?
[Morre: What?! Where is she?! Tell me!!]
Toast: No.
[Nathan: She's about 4 miles away from the border of the city. As near as we can tell, since we arrived at the lab she's been running away to leave the city. She's still running, and scouts]
Pule: How many dogs that the Road Rovers had anyway?
[just put on a tracking device so we can follow where she's going on this laptop. (He gives Morre a laptop, which is showing an area of the city with a red dot centering it) Morre: And I can assume also that Charity represents the red dot.]
Pule: That's what he thinks. It is actually spagetti sauce. Nathan has some earlier.
Toast: Dude, and I thought the World's Oldest Woman eating her food on things is bad.
[Nathan: Absolutely. (Morre turns away to think) Well sir, we found her, should we send the troops after her?]
Loud: NO.
[Morre: (Pause) No, Nathan. This is something I will do myself.]
Charity: Go to the bathroom.
[I don't want any soldier coming with me, it's between Gene, myself, her, and Loud,]
Toast: And Joe.
[as it was meant to be. Give me the laptop]
Toast: No!
[and I'll follow her to wherever she is. I'll keep you on standby[
Charity: Isn't he already standing by?
[in case I need you, but for now, leave me be,]
Loud: (Nathan) OKAY, SEE YA.
[I will do this myself. Nathan: Very well sir. Morre: Tell me, how crowded are the streets in the city?]
Pule: Well, they are big enough for people, cats, and mugglers who are drunk.
[Nathan: They're apparently getting more crowded by the minute, many people are evacuating fearing of what will happen if Dr. Burrows takes full time control.]
Charity: Plus, some of them had to leave because their homes are being cleaned for cockroaches.
[Morre: Then if I used a car, I'd never get there in time. Do we have any motorcycles?}
Pule: Morre is a Motor*psycho*.
[Nathan: Yes we do,]
Toast: Not.
[the Doctor ordered us to build one for you to use when you found her. It was meant to be a surprise,]
Loud: BUT THEN AGAIN, ISN'T THIS MOVIE ENOUGH?
[and now's a good time to reveal it. (Points towards a nearby motorcycle) Morre: Luckily I just started]
Loud: ACTING LIKE A PSYCHOPATH.
[getting lessons on using these from my Fairly-Davidton obsessed brother.]
Pule: Who isn't so Fairly-Davidton.
[(Climbs on the motorcycle with the laptop) Remember, now following me unless I tell you to.]
Charity: Oh, now he did.
[Wish me luck!]
Toast: You won't need it either.
[(He drives off) (Fade to a crowded street with people running or preparing to drive away. A caption reads it's 12:45 PM.]
Loud: AND ALL'S WELL!
[Morre can be seen driving his motorcycle through the crowd.]
Charity: You would have think people woulda noticed him.
Pule: What a dork.
[He looks at the laptop conveniently on his lap.]
Toast: Heh. Laptop on a lap. That's great.
[The red dot on it is moving, and then stops) Morre: She's stopped.]
Pule: Ha. Yeah right.
[Gasp, and in an area I'm almost in!]
Pule: Enough with the area already. Geez!
[I've got her now! (Drives much faster through the crowd) (Cut to Charity walking slowly on a sidewalk, exhausted) Charity: I've been running to get out of here for almost 3 hours, I need a break.]
Toast: (singing) Break me a piece of that Kit-Kat Bar!
[Luckily I'm almost out of the city]
Charity: And out of my mind.
[and in the clear. (Charity goes behind a drug store and sits down.]
Loud: OH GREAT. JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THIS MOVIE WOULDN'T GET WORSE THAN IT ALREADY IS, DRUGS ARE BEING USED RIGHT NOW.
[Cut to in front of the store to Morre stopping his cycle. He gets off and looks at his laptop, then walks quielt beside the store. Back behind it, Charity looks at the time) Charity: It's 12:45, almost 3 hours to go. I hope they're all right...if anything happened to them...and to Loud...]
Toast: I will...still talked like...William Shatner...dude.
[(she trails off as thoughts of Loud flood her brain,]
Loud: QUICK! GET THE FLOOD GATE!
[and she begins to quietly sob. She doesn't even notice the ominous figure appearing in front of her) Morre: Hello, Charity. (She finally looks up to see Morre) Charity: (Calm) You.]
Pule: (Morre) What about me?
[Morre: Yes, it's me.]
Charity: (Morre) The guy who ruined both you and Loud.
[So, you thought you could get away by fleeing the city, eh?]
Charity: With fleas, no doubt.
[What kind of a lousy girlfriend are you by abandoning him? Charity: (Still calm) It was his idea.]
Pule: Go blame him.
Loud: HEY!
[I suppose your spider bots failed miserably, since I haven't heard]
Loud: OF YOU.
[reports of their capture and Gene certainly hasn't left power yet. Morre: Yet, that's the key word! Charity, let's look at this through the country's point of view.]
Toast: Let's not and say we did, okay?
[The city's already in a panic because in 3 hours, Gene will destroy all that is good and sweet]
Loud: LIKE ICE CREAM.
[if you're not destroyed first! Wouldn't you like to save our freedom by surrendering, better 4 people suffer than 200 million.]
Pule: Served.
[Charity: He'll be gone, but not from our deaths. When 4:00 comes we'll be alive,]
All: (singing) We'll be alive!
[but he'll be gone, my friends will see to that. Morre: Stubborn, aren't you?]
Charity: Screwy, ain't it?
[Just like Loud, he was exactly like that, especially once I told him I was the one that found out you were in love and told Gene. Charity: You found out?]
Toast: You, Vincent "Dorko" Morre?
[(Morre nods) Then you're the one that ruined everything! (He tackles Morre by the legs and he goes down)]
Loud: OOH! RIGHT IN THE AREA!
Charity: Enough with the areas, please!
[Morre: Oof, just like Loud,]
Charity: I am also loud and cute.
(Loud blushes and kisses her. She blushes right back.)
[you two even think alike.]
Toast: Oh, that's scary.
Charity: Don't try it, Toast.
Loud: YEAH.
[Charity: Shut up!]
Pule: (Charity) I am pretending to be Nostradamus here!
[Why did you do it?! What did we do to make you put such a roadblock in our relationship?!]
Pule: That's one heck of a roadblock if you ask me.
[(At that, Morre grabs Charity and pushes her to the wall) Morre: (Low) How dare you ask such a question. You know my story,]
Toast: Of a man named Jed.
Pule: JED!!!!
[you know they stopped me from improving my life. Try to see things from my side.]
Loud: HOW? SWITCH MINDS? NO THANKS.
[I'm someone with a very sad background. Ever since the references began, not many good things have happened to me, if you die, it'll be one of my few happy moments, and it'll be my remptition]
Charity: Can't Robert ever find any words that makes sense?
[for helping to save the world! Don't you want my story to have a happy ending, this is the only way it can! This is my rebirth towards a happy life! Charity: No it won't. Not only because you're going to lose,]
Toast: You are also going on dope.
[it's because you're becoming just like Gene.]
Pule: A robot?
[Gene went through exactly what you did, and look at him.]
Loud: NO.
[Morre: I think it was a blessing,]
Charity: Gene isn't God, you know.
[at least he finally had the right idea]
Charity: Unlike Chuckie Finster, of course.
[that you and your friends must be dead!]
Loud: OR DEADER.
[Charity: That's my point.]
Toast: On a pencil.
[You sufferred and now you're becoming just like him, a souless, heartless, monster!]
Pule: And a bad actor to boot.
[Do you want to be like that, someone who endangers the whole country]
Loud: AND THE ENDANGERED SPECIES.
[just to justify]
Toast: Just to justify. That's even funnier.
Charity: You think everything is funnier, Toast.
Toast: Do not, dudette!
[killing innocent people?! (Morre appears to be afflected by this, and we see a bit of conflict in his face.]
Charity: What? Vincent Price and Peter Lorre fighting in there?
[But it quickly goes away) Morre: Oh well, once you're dead I can just as easily change back to good,]
Pule: cough Bullcrap! cough
[and no one will care about all I've done because I helped save everyone.]
Loud: IF HE WANTS TO SAVE SOMEONE, WHY DID HE BOTHERED TO GO WITH THE STUPID ARMY?
Toast: Dude, I don't know.
[And who do you think you are]
Charity: Gene?!
[calling yourselves innocent?!]
Toast: Dude, now there are a bunch of Charities in this scene! This movie is crazy!
Loud: WHEN DID YOU FIGURED THAT OUT?
Toast: Hey!
Loud: NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEELED.
[Charity: You are insane.]
Pule: And you need to take a bath. You stink!
[Morre: Better than being captured and about to be a hostage, like you.]
Pule: And Chris O'Donnell in "Batman Forever".
[Charity: Hostage?]
Toast: Yes, that's when you get kidnapped by a dump person and you get struck in a easy-to-escape cage for a few seconds.
[(Realizes what he's up to and gets very angry) Not today, Vincent Lorre. (She kicks Morre in the stomach]
Loud: (Morre) OOH! MY LIVER!
[and begins to run away...but her way is blocked by the entire army) Morre: What the, I thought I told you not to come! Muldoon: We knew we'd bee needed eventually,]
Charity: To make this movie very hard to understand.
[so we decided why should you wait an hour for us arrived. We were able to lose ourselves from view in that crowd. Besides, if we weren't here, she would have escaped, right?]
Loud: WRONG.
[Morre: That she would have. (He grabs Charity again) Excellent work, excellent!]
Charity: Say Mr. Burns.
[You're finally improving!]
Toast: Not!
[(Pulls out his cell phone and dials) Gene, this is Vincent,]
Pule: What are you wearing?
[e have her,]
Pule: E have her? Shouldn't it be we?
[we've captured Charity! And with her, Loud and the others will follow in an instant!]
Charity: Not really, mind you.
[Gene: Wonderful. Bring her to the White House immediately, and make sure no one notices her,]
Loud: ESPECIALLY TED KENNEDY.
[we don't want word of her capture to be spread just yet.]
Toast: Too late, not-so-cool dude.
[And take half of the troops with you,]
Toast: And put the other half in a jar.
[there's a crowd of people forming that could turn into an angry mob. Send the rest back to base for further instructions when needed. Morre: Yes, absolutely, see you then. (Hangs up) All right, half of you come with me, the rest]
Loud: CAN BUGGER OFF!
[head back to base! (To Charity) We're going to pay a visit to an old friend.]
Charity: The Care Bears?
[(He unzips the coat he is wearing and puts the left side of the coat around Charity, hiding her from view.]
Pule: (disgustful) Uh, what is he doing?
Loud: HE BETTER NOT BE FORCING HER TO DO WHAT I THINK HE IS FORCING HER TO DO.
Charity: Relax, he isn't...I hope.
[With his arm around that side, he heads back to his motorcycle and drives off, with half the soldiers running to catch up) (Cut to in front of the White House, as a mob of people are surrounding the front of the gate. Police barricades are in front of the people to the left of the gates, and also block the people to the right of the gate. Dan Bladder is reporting from the scene) Bladder: It's about 1:30 PM]
Charity: And you're listening to WPM8.
[on Thursday, February 24th, 2000, and these people, with little else to do but panic,]
Toast: Or dropping their pants and rob convenience stores.
[are huddled in front of the White House in nervous anticipation and anger as time runs out. In 2 and a half hours,]
Loud: THIS MOVIE WILL BE OVER.
[if Loud, Miss Information, Dr. Norman, and Charity are not dead,]
Pule: (Bladder) I will killed myself.
[this country's principles of freedom and all men being equal]
Loud: EXCEPT FOR CHARLES MANSON.
[will be throw out the window by Dr. Gene Burrows's evil regime. (Fade to another crowded street as people leave their homes) Bladder: (V.O) People has already evacuated their homes to escape what may be the inevitable carnage after 4:00. I say inevitable because the army's latest attempt to capture them with spider bots failed,]
Pule: Blah blah blah. That is so few minutes ago.
[and they haven't found them since. and not only is the panic here, it's all over the world as world leaders]
Charity: Except Saddam Hussein, but we can understand his behavior.
Loud: NO WAY.
[ponder what to do if Gene takes over and all the horror he's promised happens. The British Prime Minister had this to say. (Cut to Britain as the Prime Minister is giving a press conference) Prime Minister: If that maniacal Dr. Burrows take over and hurt our allies in America like he says he will,]
Loud: (P.M) WE WILL BUGGER AROUND THEN.
[we will not be happy. If he does and we have to fight a war to get him out of power, so be it.]
Toast: (P.M.) Jolly good then.
[I mean we have been waiting for the opportunity to save their behinds after they saved us in W-W-I-I. (Pause) But that doesn't mean we wanted this to happen to do it, of course. (Reports murmur reassuringly)]
Loud: BLIMY B*****D!
[Bladder: The Canadian Prime Minister also had some words to say. (Pause) Wait a minute, there are soldiers coming their way, led by its leader, Vincent Morre! (To himself) Thank goodness, I really didn't want to air the Canadian Prime Minister's words,]
Charity: It got swear words in it.
[I couldn't understand a word he said with his saying "eh" all the time.]
Toast: Plus, we always laugh when he mispronounces "about".
[(Bladder comes up to Morre, still holding Charity behind his coat unseen) Bladder: Mr. Morre, Mr. Morre! There are two and a half hours left until 4,]
Pule: (Bladder) And why are you hiding a little girl under your coat?
[what can you tell us about what you're going to do to kill them before then?]
Pule: There is another person named then?
[Morre: Mr. Bladder, you're right,]
Loud: (Morre) I SHOULD HAVE GONE INTO SHOW BUSINESS.
[we have only about 150 minutes left until a potential takeover. So do you really think I would waste that valuable time talking to reporters?! I thought you knew better than that after such a long careeer! (He opens the gate and walks towards the White House itself) Bladder: Hmm, he got me there.]
Charity: Yeah right.
[(The soldiers then guard the barricades) Angry Man: (To Muldoon) You stinking soldier!]
Toast: We don't need no stinking soldiers!
[We're angry cause you couldn't get them earlier than this, and we have half a right to charge Gene]
Toast: With $1,000,000.
[and overthrow him ourselves! Muldoon: (Points his gun at the mob) Do something like that]
Pule: (Muldoon) And I will let you have it. The gun, I mean.
[and I'll permanently take away that right! Come on soldiers,]
Charity: Let's go to the movies.
[I'm leading this group, the first sign of trouble,]
Loud: SCREAM LIKE HECK AND DIE.
[open fire, we don't need this!]
Charity: We don't need this movie either.
[Bladder: (To his cameraman) Maybe we should report somewhere with a lesser possibility of death.]
Toast: What do you people at home think? We'll right back.
[(They go. Morre finally enters the White House. Once the door is close, he finally lets]
Loud: ONE.
[Charity go, then points his gun at her) Morre: All right, you heard me, we don't have much time,]
Pule: Go to the bathroom before we leave.
[so move it! Gene's just dying to see you. Charity: You had to put that lousy pun in there, didn't you?}]
Loud: SCORE ONE FOR CHAR!
(Charity blushes)
Charity: Thanks.
[Morre: What, I didn't mean that as a pun,]
Pule: (Morre) I meant that as a joke.
[I meant it as a figure of speech. But that does sound fitting for what's going on...oh never mind,]
Charity: Let's go home then.
[just move it, we're wasting time! (Cut to inside the Oval Office as Gene looks on at the scene from the window]
Toast: So he can see Morre telling Charity they are wasting time?
Pule: I guess.
[He then hears the door opens and his eye twitches, since he knows who it is)]
Loud: THE CLEANING LADY, DUH.
[Morre: Gene Burrows, may I not so proudly present Charity Bazaar, your new hostage.]
Charity: What? No drumroll?
[(Gene turns slowly and walks to face her) Gene: Well well well well well,]
Toast: Dude, how many wells are in the White House anyway?!
[and just how did we get ourselves in this predicament, I wonder?]
Pule: Because Robert Dougherty put her in this movie, of course.
[it is technically because you ordered this to happen, because you told Morre to bring me here, and so here I am.]
Loud: NOW PAY HER!
[Gene: Right, you keep on thinking that.]
Charity: Now Gene is stealing lines from Miss Info.
Loud: JERK!
[(He pulls up a chair and sits next to Charity, still being held by Morre)]
Toast: Dude, he is doing it wrong! Morre is the ventriloquist and Gene should be the dummy.
[Now, let us calmly discuss how you got here in a civilized manner. Charity: You civilized, that's a laugh.]
Pule: Let's take up Charity's offer, shall we?
Charity: Shall!
All: (laughs)
[Gene: I'm going to pretend I'm didn't hear that.]
Pule: And we will pretend not to see this movie.
[Now, you're here because you love my arch nemesis. You were afraid to tell him because this would happen, and apparently Loud was paranoid it would. And now it has. Now I could say you got yourself into this because you continued to help him and forced him to finally tell you.]
Loud: (Gene) BUT I DECIDED NOT TO! HA HA HA HA HA!
[Charity: Ah, so you've decided not to blame him, huh? I guess you finally found a situation where you couldn't blame him]
Charity: And live to tell about it.
[for something that wasn't his fault. Gene: I do blame him,]
Toast: (Gene) Didn't you hear me, dude?
[but you are mostly at fault here! Now, most of the time in normal situations,]
Toast: Which this isn't.
[people are afraid to tell someone that he or she loves him or her because they don't think he or see sees anything in him or her.]
Pule: What is Gene saying? It seems he is speaking in an ancient tongue or something.
[I will put a twist into that question. So, what could you possibility see in him that caused you to do what you've done for him and practically kill yourself?]
Charity: It didn't happened, you loser.
[Because you love him and defended him,]
Loud: IN COURT.
[you're going to die, and why did you do it? That's a question most puzzling. Charity: I know why I did it.]
Charity: Because the director told me to.
Loud: HUH?!
Charity: Relax, that is only a joke.
Loud: PHEW.
[Because I love him and because everything you say about him is a lie, and I took it upon myself to keep reminding him of that when he needed it! Gene: And you did it even when you knew that I could find out]
Pule: Who wrote the book of love.
Charity: (moans) Not that joke again.
[and come to the conclusion that you loved him. You must be crazy]
Loud: LIKE STALIN WHO IS FORCING US TO WATCH THIS CRAP.
[to put yourself in such risk. Charity: That would make two of us.]
Toast: Two Charities, two Genes. What are the odds?
Loud: BOTH GOOD AND BAD, BELIEVE ME.
Charity: (shy) And we all know what the good is, right lover boy?
Loud: (dopeful) Oh yeah. Definitely.
[He was someone who needed support and I couldn't let him believe that what you say is true. I can't let someone I care for continue to live the tortured life you've put him in.]
Loud: YOU MEAN I SWITCH SOULS?
[Especially when I don't think even you believe what you say is the truth!]
Toast: And nothing but!
[Gene: (Shocked) What?! You think that I don't...how DARE]
Charity: Okay, I will take truth then.
[you say such an untrue and wrong thing, that's Miss Info's job! Charity: You don't believe a word that comes out of your mouth.]
Pule: Uh, no comment, please.
[You only say those things so the people can't blame you for the horror you've caused,]
Loud: (Dr. Smith) THE HORROR, THE HORROR OF IT ALL!
[and because you want to make Loud and Miss Info miserable. You say that all the things you've done is their fault... Gene: (Interrupting) Because it is! You must admit]
Toast: (Gene) I am crazy.
[I wouldn't have done this if they hadn't cost me my job.]
Pule: And his table at Denny's.
[Charity: NO! You say you're doing this for the world's own good, but that, and everything else, is a lie, and you know it!]
Pule: Including that lie that you went to Michael Jackson's house.
[Because it's all an attempt to distract the people from the truth, so they won't view you as the evil sick maniac you are, and mainly]
Charity: A totally douke.
[you say all those things about them because you're so obsessed with making them miserable! Gene: Lie, _they're_ all lies!]
Loud: (Queen of Hearts) OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!
[I'm doing this because I want the world to come to the same conclusion about them that I have! Charity: And that's why you're so sick,]
Toast: Do you want to go to a doctor? Oh wait, you're a doctor, aren't you?
Charity: A bad one, that is.
[because you believe things about them that aren't there. You don't know them, all you know about them is what you want to know,]
Toast: So he pretends they are the Marx brothers?
[if you knew them like I did, you wouldn't have done this, you just came to your conclusions from watching us on TV,]
Loud: AND ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT.
[and those clips do not judge the kind of people we really are.]
Pule: Totally cool.
Loud: I AGREE.
Charity: Good one for once, Pule.
Toast: Totally, dude.
Pule: Thanks.
[Gene: All right then, fine. Let's say you're right,]
All: You're right.
[I can try to accept the fact that Loud and the others are nice people,]
Charity: And that they pay their bills.
[I'm not a one-dimensional character that refuses to try to see that,]
Loud: IF GENE ISN'T AN ONE-DIMENSIONAL CHARACTER, WHY DID HE LOOK STUPID THAN NORMAL?
Charity: Who knows? More importantly, who cares?
[those kind of villains are more overbearing than menacing.]
Charity: Plus, they're annoying.
[But does that give then]
Loud: THEM, YOU DOPE! THEM!!!!!
[an excuse to do what they did to me?]
Toast: Defeat you many times? Yeah, I believe it, dude.
[That's why, good people or not, they're going to destroy democracy in this country]
Pule: And Canada.
[if they don't stop breathing before 4:00, there's no other way to settle this.]
[They'll overthrow you and toss you from power, and come out alive to tell about it. You're making a big mistake,]
Charity: Because you are starring in this movie.
[when Loud sees you've captured me, he will probably severely hurt or kill you,]
Toast: Here's hoping he does the latter.
[and you know what? I'll be the first to jump for joy.]
Pule: Nurse Joy?
[(She then spits on Gene's forehead, then he slowly wipes the spit off)]
Pule: (Geek) Hey, lady. You are taking this spitting image of a little bit too far.
[Gene: You'll pay for that.]
Charity: (Gene) And for my mom's phone bill. I call her using 1-800-Collect, and it cost me $50.
Toast: Uh, Gene's mom is dead, isn't she?
Charity: I know, but it is the joke of the thing.
[And that's just one of the many things you'll pay for.]
Loud: INCLUDING A BIG VISTA BILL.
[Vincent, tie her to a chair and set up one final conference to the nation, to announce her capture and set up three more of them. Charity: I'm telling you,]
Toast: Bite me!
[once Loud sees this and comes to save me, you'll realize you made a serious error. Gene: I'm counting on that first part.]
Toast: Dude, his younger self, Slim Berry, sounded like Jim Carrey, did you know that?
Pule: I guess.
[Once he sees you, he'll come for you,]
Pule: And your little dog too.
[and then Miss Info will follow and come for him, then Harry will come for both of them, and]
All: Bobby goes where the other one's been.
[the others will then come for all of you. That's what makes them so weak, because they risk their lives]
Charity: And their hard earned cash.
[so often for you. Once they all get here, they'll be ready, ready for us to crush them like a paper cup. (Crushes a paper cup on the desk)]
Loud: (Gene) I HAD NOW JUST DEMONSTRATE THAT.
[Vincent, call the news]
Charity: What does he want him to call them?
Toast: A bunch of idiots, obviously.
[and tell them to broadcast us live]
Pule: From New York, it's Saturday Night!
[right here, it's time to begin the final battle. (Cut to inside the casts hideout as they appear to be looking over battle plans)]
Loud: WHICH WE ARE NOT. WE ARE ACTUALLY LOOKING AT THE SCRIPT.
[Harry: Okay, let's go over this again before we head out.]
All: (fearfully) NO!!!!!
[Now, with Smartypants's duplicator, we've made guns for all of us like the army has. First, we journey to the White House. We'll have to get in from the back,]
Toast: Because the front door is locked.
[with the soldiers guarding the front gate and all those angry citizens too.]
Loud: HEY, I THOUGHT THEY WERE AGAINST US.
Charity: They are. This story is weak.
Loud: NO KIDDING.
[Miss Info: Why? I mean all the soldiers can do is capture us and take us to Gene, and that's where we're going anyway. Harry: But we want to use the element of surprise to get in,]
Pule: He wants to use an elephant?
[we'll have more of an advantage this way. W.O.W: And we need every advantage possible, Gene and Morre are gonna be really mad at us, what with Loud and Charity]
Charity: Our relationship.
[and with time running out on them too. Harry: Exactly. Once we're in, we go straight to the Oval Office]
Toast: Which is closed for the day.
[and capture Gene with our guns. Then we figure out someway to make him give up control.]
Loud: WE CAN ALWAYS TICKLE HIS FEET.
[But I'll admit, the most likely way we can overthrow him is that we may have to...kill him.]
All: Dum dum DUM!
[Sammy: Kill him? I don't know if I can do that, we don't kill,]
Charity: Except this movie.
[and we don't usually hurt either, at least not intentionally. Harry: We may not have any other choice. Besides, would we really miss him if he died? Froggo: Nope, you're right there.]
Toast: Well, duh. Of course he is right there. Where else can he be?
[But what if the giant spider shows up and attacks?]
Pule: Make him watch the "The Giant Spider Invasion". That movie is bad enough to terrorize anyone.
[Harry: That's why we have to capture and overthrow as soon as possible, we have 2 hours. But first we should check the news in case something's happened that could ruin things.]
Pule: Like Survivor being canceled.
Charity: Or Pauly Shore is getting popular.
Loud: OR SOMEONE KILLED SOMEONE ELSE BESIDES KENNY FOR ONCE.
Toast: Or the obvious.
Others: Huh?
Toast: More bad movies.
Others: Oh.
[(They turn on a nearby TV and we see Bladder at his news desk)]
Toast: Dude, can't we see Fred Moppel for once?
Charity: We do, but not often then we used to.
[Bladder: It's 2:00 PM, and with 2 hours to go, it's getting more and more unlikely that we can come out of this alive and well]
Charity: Especially from this movie.
[and...wait a minute, I've just received word that]
Loud: CARROT TOP BEEN ARRESTED. FINALLY.
[Dr. Burrows is about to address the country again. Since we have no choice,]
Toast: Because the script told them to.
[we take you now to the Oval Office]
Charity: Already in progress.
[for whatever he's going to say. (The TV switches to Gene) Gene: Hello Loud. Loud: (Gasps) He's addressing me! I hope this isn't what I think it is.]
Loud: AN AD FOR A BAD MOVIE.
[Gene: I don't know where you are, but I know you are watching. This message is for you.]
Pule: It will self-destruct in 10 seconds.
[I've come to tell you that we have someone here in the White House that you may recognize. (He turns to reveal Charity tied up in a chair)]
Charity: (Gene) We have your mother.
[Loud: CHARITY?!!]
Charity: What?
[Gene: That's right, it's your girlfriend. You feared all along that this would happen to her, and now your fear is reality.]
Loud: FOR THE FEAR FACTOR.
[Don't worry, I haven't hurt her...yet.]
Toast: Yeah right, dude.
[You knew I'd want to kill her when I found out the news, and I do. But before I do,]
Pule: (Gene) I want to dance for you.
[I want to give you a fair chance to stop me. Aka: Fair chance for him? I smell a trap.]
Loud: AND A RAT. A BIG UGLY ONE.
[Loud: Sssh!]
Pule: (Loud) My bike has a flat.
[Gene: I invite you to come dow to the White House and you will have a chance]
Charity: For a prize.
[to save her and overthrow me. I really grow tired of this chase, I want it to end now, and 200 million U.S citizens will agree with me.]
Toast: That this movie is horrible.
[And I want you to come along so it can end as it should end. No more soldiers, no more spider bots,]
Loud: NO MORE TEACHERS' DIRTY LOOKS.
[just you, me, Vincent, and]
Charity: (Sheriff of Rottingham) My GUARDS!
[the center of]
Toast: Attention, dude.
[it all, the fate of your beloved Charity. (Calls over to Morre) Vincent, hand me the final motivational tractic.]
Pule: (Morre) Isn't your evil ways better?
[(Morre comes over and struggles to give Gene a heavy schoolbag)]
Pule: What does he have in there? Karris's dead body?
Others: Pule!
Pule: What? I am just asking.
Loud: SAVE THE BAD JOKES FOR LATER, WILLYA?!
Pule: Geez.
[Gene: Now, I'm a scientist, and though most of my energy is spent on getting you, I still]
Loud: HAVE A HEARTY BREAKFAST FOR MORE ENERGY.
[conduct experiments now and then, such as this. (Walks over to Charity holding the schoolbag) Such as, what would be the effect]
Toast: Of this movie.
[be on Charity's face if it was hit with a 20 pound schoolbag? Let's find out. (We don't see him do this,]
Charity: I did, and it wasn't pretty, believe me.
Loud: I DO.
[but seeing Loud wincing in pain, as if another dagger went through his heart while watching the TV indicates he did) Gene: And that's just the first of many things that will happen to her, unless]
Toast: We stop watching this movie right now, though we can't even if we want to.
[you're able to come to the White House and stop me. See you then. (Gene's image goes off the TV, Harry then turns it off) Harry: (Shaken) Well, that's certainly something that affects our plans.]
Loud: THIS MOVIE.
[Loud: I...I don't believe it,]
Pule: The Packers won the Super Bowl!
Loud: GO PACKERS!
Toast: Woo!
Charity: Oh brother.
[they got her. I really did make a mistake. Miss Info: That last part is exactly what she wouldn't want you to think if she was here.]
Charity: I am, except I am watching this occuring.
[All this gives us is more motivation]
Charity: And annoyness.
[to stop before before it's too late. (Just then Gene's image returns on the TV)]
Pule: What the...how he did he do that?! The TV was off!!!
Loud: (Gene) YOUR LIBRARY BOOK IS WAY PAST OVERDUE.
[you have just put Charity in a very dangerous position, but I'd like to remind you that this isn't the first time you've hurt her.]
Charity: Well, he did knock me down the stairs, but that was an accident.
[I'm about to show you a tape recorded from yesterday as the Histerians]
Toast: Take on the barbers in a fight to the death!
[were taking the bus to their hotel an hour before my attack.]
Pule: Hold on, we rode in a limo, not a bus.
Loud: WHAT A DOPE!
[At this time, Loud knew that he loved Charity, but I ask you, is this what passes for love these days?!]
Pule: sigh It better not be a sick video.
[(The TV now switches to another showing of the]
Charity: Toasty Histeria Picture Show.
[scenes between Loud and Charity in the Rosa Parks sketch)]
Toast: Dude, isn't that the outtakes Pokejedservo made?
Charity: No, it is the actually sketch.
[Loud: (Shocked and angry) THAT WASN'T FROM YESTERDAY, THAT WAS FROM A BADLY WRITTEN SKETCH WE SHOT DAYS BEFORE THE MARATHON, WAY BEFORE I FELL IN LOVE!!]
Loud: BESIDES, JAMIE KELLNER WROTE IT.
Charity: See?
[Sammy: But that sketch never aired, we were gonna air it on King Day]
Toast: Hold on, we don't have a king.
Pule: That is actually Martin Luther King Jr., Toast.
Toast: Huh.
[but we were canceled before then. We're the only ones other than Gene]
Charity: And the guys from planet Dorko.
[that know this wasn't done yesterday, and he's just made it so the public won't buy the truth.]
Loud: BY MAKING SURE IT COST $1,000,000.
[(Gene's image comes back) Gene: That exchange was also aired in case the public started to question the value in killing Loud.]
Pule: Which is $1,00.
[Now I ask you, how can you let someone live when he does stuff like that to someone he "loves"?!]
Charity: Is that even a question?
[I hope this will convince you]
Pule: To not buy Chit's books.
[once more that what we're doing is the right thing, so on that note, good bye again. (Miss Info turns off the TV angrily) Miss Info: And that last motivational move only proves my last point further.]
Toast: You tug them in, and I will do the dishes, dude.
[Loud: You're right, we have to stop him...no, I have to stop him. (With determination, he goes over and packs supplies into a nearby backpack)]
Loud: THIS IS NO TIME FOR A PICNIC! WE GOT WORK TO DO!
[Smartypants: Oh, I don't like the look of this.]
Loud: ME PACKING?
[I hope you're not going to do what I think you will.]
Pule: Because if you do, it will be sick.
[Loud: I am. He wants me to come down to save her, and I'm going to do it. Father Time: But it's obviously a trap, you'll be captured most likely.]
Toast: Thank you, Mr. Obvious.
[Loud: I know it's a trap, but I have no choice.]
Charity: We have to continued this movie.
[It's either risk being captured or let her die, and the latter is anything but an option. Harry: Well, you're right there.]
Loud: NO, I AM RIGHT HERE.
[You know we're with you to the end. Loud: No! You all should stay here, I'm doing this myself.]
Charity: Making fun of this movie? Not likely.
[Fetch: Are you crazy, you can't beat him by yourself!]
Toast: Charity beat Gene by herself and look at her.
Charity: (sarcastic) Oh yeah. I beat Gene and almost died. That sounds good, doesn't it?
[Besides, we're all planning to invade there anyway, and this doesn't really affect the basis of our plans.]
Pule: If any.
[Loud: And I can't put you guys in any more danger. Obviously his plan is that if I come, you'll follow and be captured yourself. I won't let any more harm come to you guys,]
Pule: Too late.
[I'm the one that helped start this, and I'm the one that's gonna get us out.]
Toast: Off this satellite? I will believe it when I see it, dude.
[(Puts one of the guns in the backpack) Toast: Dude,]
Charity: Where's his car?
[you're not gonna kill him, are you?]
Loud: NAH, I AM JUST GOING TO KICK HIM IN THE YAHOOS.
[Loud: I hope]
Toast: So.
[I'm only gonna use it to capture him, but if I have to, so be it. Sammy: Well...you're gonna need somebody to drive you, at least.]
Charity: And it isn't going to be you, Sammy.
[Where are the lockpicks? Harry: (Looks in his pockets) Oh darn, I must have lost mine in the midst of our planning.]
Pule: And during the making of this movie.
[Smartypants: I can't find mine either.]
Loud: THE SCRIPT?
[I must have lost then too.]
Charity: Normally we would corrected it, but it gotten old by now.
Toast: Yeah, like this stupid movie.
Charity: Precisely.
[Loud: Well, a littlwe running never hurt anyone.]
Loud: DO DO DO DO DO! IT HURT ME, OUCH!
[W.O.W: But if you run all the way to the White House, you'll barely make it in time. Loud: All the more reason to]
Toast: Eat you, my dear.
[start running now. (Puts on the backpack) Remember, stay here, this way you're all out of danger.]
Pule: And stay away from my future daughter!
[Miss Info: But, the problem with that is we're out of it, and you're in too much of it.]
Loud: OF THIS MOVIE? YEAH, I BELIEVE IT.
[Loud: I hope these aren't the last words you'll hear me say, but you've worried about me so much, I think it's time you worried about yourself.]
Toast: And give to the United Way, dude.
[(Prepares to head out the door) And don't think it will be, I'll see you guys again. alive and well. (To himself) I hope.]
Charity: That this movie will be over soon.
Pule: I think we are almost to the end of Chapter 3.
Loud: (dry) OH JOY. I CAN HARDLY WAIT.
[(He runs out of the drive on his way to the White House. Miss Info watches him go) Miss Info: No. No, I can't do it. Pepper: What, what can't you do?]
Pule: Be in this movie further.
[Miss Info: I know he can stand up to Gene and Morre by himself, but I just can't stand here thinking that this may have been the last time I'll ever see him. If that happened, I don't think I could live with myself.]
Loud: WELL, YEAH. SHE CAN LIVED WITH MR. SMARTYPANTS.
[Harry: I know how you feel,]
Charity: No you don't.
[but he's right, we go there]
Toast: No comment.
[and it's exactly what he wants, he knows we'd come for him. At least if it is the last time, it's fitting he goes out like this, protecting us.]
Pule: And not like a candle, believe me.
[Miss Info: That doesn't reassure me. You can stay if you want, but I'm going. Harry: Well, I understand why,]
Pule: Anyone that cool got to go after someone.
Loud: DON'T TRY TO SUCK UP TO ME, PULE.
Pule: Who's sucking up? That's actually true.
Charity: Riiiggghhhtt....
[and if I was as close to him as you are,]
Toast: I would be his friend too.
Charity: Actually, you are, Toast.
Toast: Oh yeah. Wait, why am I'm always playing dumb?!
Pule: Because we are?
[I'd do the same. I'd probably do the same even if I wasn't, and I'm not. I'm going too.]
Charity: They can't all fit in the bathroom.
[Smartypants: If you're going, I'm going.]
Loud: WELL, OBVIOUSLY MISS INFO IS HIS LOVER.
[But you all should stay. Aka: Not a chance, Smarty. We're not cowards,]
Toast: I mean sure we run away from the Huns.
[we're not afraid of battling him. Cho-Cho: Yeah, we're not going to risk facing the fear that if you died,]
Loud: THIS MOVIE WOULD END SOONER.
[it'd be our fault for not helping, right Lucky Bob? Lucky Bob: Absolutely, we're going on a rescue mission now.]
Pule: Heh. They are obviously doing an reenactment of the Know-It-Alls episode. Heh.
[Harry: All right, in that case the invasion goes on as planned! But we'll have to do it so he doesn't see us. Let's go! (They pick up guns and run out of the house.]
Charity: Put down those toy guns, guys. We got work to do!
[Cut back to the Oval Office) Gene: I knew traveling to Burbank before I left for Washington to find more clips would]
Charity: Not work because it was used so many times before.
[result in a great idea. Thanks to my retrieval of that wonderful, never aired bit, the public will]
Toast: Blow chunks, man.
[support us further, and Loud's fury at that airing will only cloud his judgement,]
Pule: And the car windows.
[making it easier for him to be defeated when he gets here. Charity: You...you're sick, Gene, you're truly a sick monster! When I get out of this chair and gets my hands on you...]
Loud: I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE CAN'T JUST CUT THE ROPES WITH A KNIFE.
Charity: I don't have one at the time, though good idea.
[(Gene grabs her chair and lifts it up in the air)]
Loud: WOW! HE MUST EITHER BE STRONG OR ON STERLOIDS.
Pule: He's a robot, isn't it?
Charity: Sadly, yes.
[Gene: (Cold) First off, at least this monster won't be dead withing two hours tops, and second, if you don't want the only thing you hands get a hold of to be the fires of Hades right now,]
Pule: You watch out because Hades might sued you for harassment.
[I suggest you limit your angry retorts.]
Charity: To 3 a day.
[(Puts the chair back down) Now, let's just sit and wait here for your boyfriend's inevitable arrival and subsequent departure.]
[(Fade to later as Loud is almost at the White House,]
Loud: THAT'S BECAUSE I HAD TO STOP AT THE BATHROOM ON THE WAY THERE.
[staring and thinking of what is to come. Outside the gate, the mob is getting larger and angrier)]
Charity: And fatter and stupider.
[Bladder: (V.O) As you can see,]
Pule: We are seeing, Bladder.
[the tension has gone to the breaking point, it is literally the final hour, under 1 hour to go until 4:00. The world is holding it's breath]
Pule: Especially the ones under water.
[over what will be the outcome of the next 50 minutes...and we'll find out soon because the main target Loud Kiddington is headed to the White House now! (The angry citizens get even angrier at seeing him,]
Loud: INCLUDING THE ONES WITH A SPLIT PERSONALITY.
[and try to go through the barricades. The soldiers shoot their guns skyward to stop them)]
Toast: (makes noise like a plane going down and crashing to the ground)
[Muldoon: Stop, you angry mob, stop!]
Charity: Not the chin of my chinnty chin chin.
[Man: Why, we're trying to get him for you, let us through, we can't take it!]
Toast: They obviously didn't want to be in this movie as much as we did, dude.
Loud: YEP.
[Muldoon: I said stop!]
Loud: OR MY MOM WILL SHOOT!
[Gene wants him to come through, and he can't if you get him first! (To other soldiers) Let him pass! (Loud opens the gate and runs toward the building. Nearby, the others watch him, then run to the left. Gene watches him through the window) Gene: He're here, and he's alone.]
Charity: He is the stupidest person in the world. Gene I mean.
[Good, because if just he and Charity die, I will consider letting go of]
Pule: The baby.
[power even though Miss Info and Harry aren't dead, you two are who I really want.]
Charity: Who is he talking to?
[Morre: Should I send the remaining troops just in case? Gene: No, tell the others to go home,]
Pule: Their stove is on.
[we don't need them anymore. (Inside the tent, the other soldiers are resting, until Morre's voice is heard) Morre: Attention soldiers!]
Toast: You can not be turned down for this deal.
[Gene and I are about to finish the target ourselves, so your services are no longer needed!]
Loud: SO PACK YOUR LUGGAGE AND GET OUTTA HERE.
[I can't say it's been a real pleasure leading you to failure after failure,]
Loud: YOU JUST DID, YOU IGNORANCE.
[but go home and good luck to all of you. Andrea: Phew, it's about time!]
Pule: (Andrea) I thought he would never shut up.
[Now I can go back and lead a normal, housewife life. Tress: Oh, I'm so glad it's all over,]
Charity: What? Their reputations if any?
[although life may never be the same if he takes over, at least I don't have to do any grunt work anymore.]
Toast: And appearing in any more Beer commericals.
[Nathan: You will, you all will if they fail to kill them! I can't let us go down like this, we've failed at every attempt,]
Loud: FAILED? DIDN'T THEY HELP CAPTURED YOU JUST NOW, CHARITY?
Charity: Yes, at least they didn't failed at that.
[and I think we should go and try for one final success! I'm not just saying this because I want them too, but]
Charity: (Nathan) I want them dead too!
[do any of you want to go down as members of the most inept army in history? Female Soldier: Now that you say that,]
Toast: Yes.
[no. They win and he enslaves the country,]
Pule: He can do that when he died?
[I don't want to be part of the army that let it happen. Nathan: And do any of you?}
Pule: Want to leave?
[(Everyone nods no) Good, because I'm taking command of this army and I'm going to make sure we don't go down like that! Let's instead go and be the army that saves the world like we were supposed to! Who's with me!]
Loud: NAH, YOU GO AHEAD.
[(Everyone cheers) Then let's move to the White House!]
Toast: Hey, those people can't do that! George W. Bush is already living there!
[(The army, with a new determination marches out of the tent. Fade to behind the White House, as the others are on the back lawn) Sammy: Okay, we're here, now what?]
Charity: Now we are going to kill you.
[Harry: Now me and Miss Info use grappling hooks to climb on the roog above.]
Toast: (Harry) We borrowed them from Batman.
[Froggo: Why can't we go with you?]
Loud: BECAUSE WE NEED YOU GUYS LATER.
[Harry: Because those remaining soldiers will get a little suspicious at seeing more than 10 people]
Charity: And 10 cats.
[on the roof of the White House, but for two]
Pule: Baby.
[it's less likely, since that mob is getting larger. You find a way in front out back,]
Charity: We're in Australia now?
[and we'll use Smartypants's special hearing device to head above the Oval Office and hear what's going on.]
Toast: But it's a party line, so it's always busy.
[(They split up. Head back for another view of the even angrier mob)]
Loud: (Mob) WE ARE EVEN ANGRIER!
[Bladder: (V.O again) As you can see, everyone's in a panic over what could happen is Dr. Burrows fails, skeptics are saying it could lead to war between us and the countries looking to overthrow him, and some say it could lead to the end of the world.]
Pule: (gangster voice) Maybe we should ruffle him up, maybe we could bust his chops.
[Of course, most of that group are the same people that thought Y2K]
Loud: MEANS YEAR 2 KITTEN.
[would bring about the end, but still that doesn't lessen the seriousness of all this. We have 3/4ths of an hour left, all we can do is watch, wait, and pray.]
Pule: For the death of Tom Arnold.
[(After one final view of the mob and the soldiers, we go back to the Oval Office) Gene: Well Charity,]
Toast: (Gene) It's time to get out of that film.
[your boyfriend will be here any minute, and we'll be ready to make it his first, and last visit to this office.]
Charity: Make that whatever since we been there many times before this happened.
[Vincent, when he gets here he'll likely open the door a tiny crack]
Loud: AND PULLS MY PANTS UP.
[to sneak up on us, when he does that, grab him. (Morre nods and heads for the door. Outside the room we see Loud running and stopping at the Oval Office door. He is about to quietly open the door, but then he stops and thinks.]
Charity: About me, I hope.
[He then smiles. Inside, Morre sees the doorknob begin to turn, and moves into position to grab him.]
Toast: Uh, that position is bad, Morre.
[But instead of the door opening slowly, it opens in a hurry, hitting Morre and knocking him down.]
All: (cheering)
Toast: Dude, he's resting comfortying now.
Loud: YES!
[(Loud sees Morre down]
Pule: We got dumb guy down.
[and then sees Gene's back turned to him. He rushes to grab him, but then stops as Gene turns around and points another gun at him) Gene: I wouldn't move another step if I were you.]
Pule: (Gene) Because if you did, then I will have to.
[Loud: (Harsh) All right, where is she?! Gene: She?]
Charity: Winona Ryder, doorknob.
[Could you specify that, because there are a lots of "shes" that work here, and I'd like to know which one you're talking about. Loud: You know what "she" I'm talking about, WHERE IS CHARITY?!]
Toast: She's dead.
Charity: Hey!
[Gene: Oh, her! All you needed to do was say so.]
Loud: I DID SAY SO, DOORKNOB.
[(He walks to side to reveal Charity still tied to the chair)]
Toast: Dude, I don't even want to know what they were doing before Loud got there.
Pule: Yep.
[Loud: Charity!]
Charity: What?
[Thank goodness you're all right,]
Loud: ABOUT THIS MOVIE BEING TERRIBLE.
[other than being tied to a chair. I'll get you out!]
Pule: Right out of the picture! (evil laughter)
(Charity rolls her eyes at this)
[(Gene then points his gun again before he does) Gene: I sad not one more step, didn't you hear me?!]
Charity: What did he say?!
[Or has being exposed]
Loud: PLEASE, MY GIRLFRIEND IS PRESENT!
[to your loud voice destroyed your hearing?! Loud: So now you have us]
Pule: What are you going to do to them?
[right where you want us. But, I think there might still be some faint spark of humanity left in you.]
Toast: Too bad he's a robot, dude.
[Morre: Don't listen,]
Loud: WOW, HE CAN RECOVERED QUICKLY, CAN HE?
[he's using one of those talk the villain in converting to good and letting him go trick! Gene: No, let me hear.]
Toast: Let go of his ear then.
[Why do you think that way? Loud: Because I know how much you want to kill Charity,]
Charity: My making sure you never donated any money.
[and yet you haven't done it yet. What's stopping you?]
Pule: Let me guess, the director?
[Hopefully an attack of conscience.]
Loud: WHAT, JIMINY CRICKET?
[Gene: Wrong!]
Charity: Issue two!
[(He grabs Loud and moves his face right into his) Because I wanted you to witness your final, most painful act.]
Toast: So we are in a play all of the sudden? This movie is so confusing right here!
[You feared she's die if you told her you loved her, now I want you to see your fear come true. You can't deny she wouldn't be in this if]
Loud: ROBERT DECIDED NOT TO.
[you hadn't told her, in that regard you're the real murderer here,]
Charity: Not Ozzy Osbourne.
[once again, as usual, this is all your fault. Loud: (Low) No, it's not. Gene: What? Loud: You're lying, it's not true!]
Toast: Kroger's doesn't have any double coupons!
[Nothing you've said about me is true! Because I led myself to believe it was, my life was nearly ruined from thinking that]
Pule: Pauly Shore is funny.
[I caused all this. You almost took away all that was good in my life for saying those things that did seem true at the time,]
Pule: More like something out of a Montezuma story.
[but they're all horrible lies, I fully realize that now. Charity: That's what I've been saying since I got here. Loud: Right, you helped me realize that]
Toast: Pauly Shore isn't funny.
[nothing he says about me is true.]
Loud: ESPECIALLY THE BAD PHOTOS ON THE INTERNET.
[and I've had it with him trying to convince me otherwise. I'm officially taking my life back! You know what's the eviliest thing you've ever done?]
Charity: You being in this horrible movie.
[The fact that you had me believing your accusations, that's the worst thing of all. Gene: Very well, have it your way.]
Toast: You got it, dude.
[It doesn't matter anymore, because it won't be long till you're no longer alive for me to do it. Vincent, if you're recovered from that collision,]
Charity: See a doctor.
[hold him for me please. (He gives Loud to Morre and he holds him) Gene: Now, before I put an end to your miserable life,]
Pule: (Gene) I will do community theater.
[I'll try once again to kill you emotionally first. This time, with Charity as the recipient. (He pulls out another weapon: it's a drill,]
Loud: SHE DOESN'T NEED TO SEE A DENTIST! HER TEETH IS ALL FINE!
[the one used to drill nails. He turns it on. Before Loud can react, Morre covers his mouth) Gene: Quick thinking, Vincent.]
Charity: Stupid but quick.
[You've eliminated the only thing that could possibility stop me now.]
Pule: So why can't Loud just bite Morre's fingers already?!
[Morre: Enough talk Gene,]
Loud: YOU ARE MAKING THIS MOVIE HARDER TO UNDERSTAND THAN IT IS.
[it's only delaying their long overdue fates. Do it now.]
Charity: Really? Oh wait, what am I'm saying? Blast you, Pule!
(Pule giggles like a maniac)
[Gene: Right. (To Charity) I should be doing this in a hurry]
Loud: (Gene) BECAUSE I GOT ANOTHER PATIENT COMING IN FOR HER TEETH TO BE CLEANED.
[to eliminate the possibility of escape, and not do it slowly like idiotic stereotypical movie villains,]
Pule: Like you, Gene.
[but still I'm going to do it slow so I can savor this moment.]
Toast: When Gene Burrows isn't talking.
[(Gene slowly walks towards Charity point the drill at her. THe noise it's making seems to be getting louder as it comes closer to her.]
Charity: Will someone turned the volume down please?
[He stops in front of the chair and moves the drill slowly towards her forehead. Loud tries to protest but with Morre's hand covering his mouth, there's nothing he can do. Charity's eyes are widening as the drill comes closer, then closes her eyes tightly, preparing for the intense pain. A tear begins to form from Loud's eye as he watches the drill moves inches away from her...)]
Loud: EXACTLY, IT IS BECAUSE MORRE HAS ONIONS.
[(...but just then a part of the roof breaks right behind Gene, leaving a not too large but noticeable hole in the roof. He puts the drill down and looks at the hole puzzled...]
Charity: (Gene) How can someone makes this incredible hole?
[until someone jumps through the hole and is headed straight for Gene)]
Toast: AAAHH! Don't do that!
[Gene: What the he- (he's cut off as the person lands on him, knocking all the wind out of him.]
Pule: So Gene is a weather element?
[We now see who it is, it's Harry) Harry: It's not nice to swear.]
Pule: And to kill people, and to uses lies, and to be in another terrible, horrible, disgusting movie!!!!!
Charity: Calm down, Pule.
[(He punches him and he is knocked out cold apparently) Morre: No! (Lets go of Loud)]
Loud: BAD MOVE, LORRE!
[He was this close to]
Toast: Being John Malkovich.
[killing her and you come here just as victory was in our grasp!]
Toast: Huh? I don't see it. Morre must be crazy.
Charity: Must be.
[Why I'm gonna...]
Pule: (Makes Curly noises)
[(he's cut off as someone behind him hits his back with a chair]
Loud: TAKE A SEAT, MORRE!
[and he goes down cold. We see it was Miss Info who did that) Miss Info: You're going to take a nap,]
Charity: You sir have a busy day.
[that's what you're going to do. Harry: (Tosses her the now turned off drill)]
Charity: He better not have tosses her sharp point first.
[Here, put this away so they can't use it when they wake up.]
Loud: (snickering) OH YEAH RIGHT. WHAT IS GENE GOING TO DO? PRETEND HE IS TIM ALLEN?
[Loud: (Shocked) I thought I told you guys not to come!]
Toast: And to not be wearing his clothes!
[Harry: It was her idea, myself and the others just came along for the ride.]
Pule: Yeah, they have to paid $50 an hour.
[Miss Info: (Untying Charity) You shouldn't complain anyway,]
Loud: I AM HERE INSTEAD OF IN THE MOVIE, ALTHOUGH I AM, BUT LET'S NOT FREAKED OUT, OKAY?
[if we hadn't dropped in, she would have died.]
Toast: Of what?
All: Boredom!
[(Charity runs over and hugs Loud tightly) Loud: You're right, in any case I'm so glad she's okay and not dead.)]
Charity: Likewise.
(The lovers kissed again.)
[Charity: And I'm so glad you finally shook off his insults]
[great part in helping you do that. Loud: We can discuss that that later,]
Charity: (mocking disappointed) Awww...
[what'll we do with them? Harry: Well the others are in this building as we speak. Let's tie them up with this tope before they get here.]
Toast: Oh, and tie up the villains too.
(Everyone chuckled)
[(Harry picks up the rope, but the minute he touches it it makes a beeping noise,]
Pule: Hey, a swearing rope. Cool!
[and it begins to burn. He quickly drops it and the rope burns to nothingness)]
Pule: The rope probably didn't want to be in this movie either.
[Harry: Drat, only Gene could come up with a kind of rope that would burn at our touching it.]
Loud: ONLY HARRY TOUCH IT, DIDN'T HE?
[Miss Info: What do we do with them now? Harry: I guess we lock the door, get out and]
Toast: Get funky, dude!
[get the others, hopefully they'll be out long enough for us to do that. Let's go. (He grabs Charity's chair and follows the others out of the office.]
Charity: (Harry) I might as well tame a lion while I am out there.
[When outside he puts the chair in front of the door and runs away with his friends. Back inside, Gene and Morre get up) Gene: oh, you used that pretend you're knocked out to hear what they're up to trick too?}
Toast: (Gene) Because if you did, I'll kill you.
[Morre: Yes, so now that we know their plans, what do we do? Gene: (Looking out the window) Well, your soldiers from the tent disobeyed orders to leave]
Charity: This movie.
[and are on their way here. Why don't you send them in here officially to capture the others? Morre: I'll do just that, and should we enlist their help in finding their targets? Gene: Absolutely not, this is between them and us.]
Loud: BIG MISTAKE, PAL.
[Now let's get them together, as it should be. (Gets out his army gun and blasts the door open) (On the first floor of the White House, the others are wandering around) Toast: Um, shouldn't we be doing something other than just walking around, dudes? Smartypants: We are,]
Pule: (Smartypants) We are going to tour the Lincoln bedroom.
[we're heading for the Oval Office to meet up with the others. Once we do, Gene and Morre will be totally outnumbered]
Charity: I think Gene can easily take us. Not that I said that in a mean way, of course.
[and ready]
Pule: For the ovan.
[to be overthrown from power. Pepper: Come on, we can take that elevator.]
Loud: WHERE DO YOU WANT US TO TAKE IT?
[(They runs towards said elevator, but then we hear something whiz past them right above them)]
All: EEEWWWW!!!!
[Froggo: I hope that was just a huge fly that flew past us. Nathan: (V.O) Wrong! Now prepare to meet Mr. Laser blast!]
Toast: (Mr. Laser blast) Hiya, kids! I am Mr. Laser blast, and we are going to have jolly good fun. (normal voice) Kill me.
[(A laser blast flies towards them again but they duck out of the way, however it blasts the elevator door and most of the elevator) Smartypants: Come on, we have guns now, use them!]
Loud: THEY WON'T HELP EITHER.
[(The soldiers run into view and aim their guns. However, once they shoot their lasers, the Histerians shoot their lasers and they deflect of the army's, doing no harm.]
Pule: Not even to this movie? Dang.
[They continue doing this. Most of the army's shots are either deflected by the good guys or hit the tables and furniture)]
Charity: Boy, is George W. Bush going to be peeved when he moved in.
[Nathan: Enough! Let's stop destroying White House property]
Toast: They belonged to Bill Clinton. Let him destroyed it.
[and get them! They can't shoot their guns without us firing first for fear of killing us.]
Loud: SO? WE ATTACKED WHEN THE VILLAINS AREN'T FIRING ALL THE TIME AND WE WEREN'T AFRAID THEN.
Charity: Yeah, but these are innocent people here.
Loud: TRUE.
[(The soldiers run towards them) Smartypants: Come on, we have no choice but to fire]
Charity: Adam Sandler.
[now! W.O.W: I don't know, I know we have to but]
Toast: (W.O.W) I'm old.
[I've never killed anyone before]
Pule: Except for the customers at bars she trashed.
[and I swore not to change that. Aka: That's probably what we're all thinking right now. Smartypants: We don't have a choice!]
Pule: (Smartypants) Don't make me used the same line twice!
[(Nathan come sup and grabs him) Nathan: And whatever choice you have now is gone. (We see the other soldiers have the Histerians at gun pont) Bring them outside,]
Toast: (Nathan) They need a time out.
[Dr. Burrows and Mr. Morre will take care of their friends. (The soldiers walk out of view with their captives following. A second after they are out of view, the others come into view) Harry: Oh dear, looks like a donny-brook broke here]
Loud: WHAT IS HE SAYING? IT SOUNDS LIKE HE IS SPEAKING IN AN ANCIENT TONGUE!
[Charity: Do you think they got captured, I think they did. Morre: (Behind her) Too bad you all won't live long enough to find out. (Morre grabs Charity, and from behind him Gene comes up to Loud and Harry. He grabs them before they can move towards Charity, however Miss Info is able to get to him and tries to hit him. However he ducks from her punches and runs off, but Charity wiggles her arms from his grasp and covers his face.]
Charity: What a wimp. He can't hold me for long.
[Shocked, he lets her go, and through his P.O.V, we see him finally moving his arms from his face and seeing her got away) Morre: Oh no you don't,]
Toast: It is too late to change the script.
[you're not escaping doom twice! (He runs as fast as possible towards her. She is about to confront Gene, but Morre grabs her and throws her across the room onto a couch.]
Pule: Isn't that Homer Simpson's couch.
Loud: NO, IT IS BILL CLINTON'S COUCH. HE IS MORE LAZIER.
[He then walks towards the couch, puts her on the floor and steps on her stomach to prevent her escape) Morre: Now, where were we before?]
Loud: IN THE OVAL OFFICE, YOU DOPE.
[Ah yes, I think we were at the point where I finish you off. (Gets out a regular gun and points it, but then his eyes widen and he turns around to see Loud holding his leg.]
Charity: You know, Loud's bites are worse than his yells.
[He bends down and Loud lets go, then he hits him. He starts a series]
Toast: Of bad skits, dude.
[of punches, forcing Morre to stumble backwards) Loud: how many times (hits him) do I (hits him again) have to administer these defenses (hits him a few more times) for you (starts to him him]
Pule: Him him? Is that even a verb?
[with every word he says) to leave the girl I love alone?! (Morre finally falls and hits a steel door. He falls cold for real this time.]
Pule: The steel must have an arctic trap.
[Just then Gene walks by, noticing the damage he did) Gene: Well done, Loud, I must admit,]
Toast: Gene is a dope, dude?
[well done. You know I've taken your recent words into thought and I've realized,]
Loud: HE'S IS BAD ACTOR?
Charity: He is insane?
Pule: He is in a bad movie?
Toast: Dude, he lost his car?
[we're very much alike, you and I. Loud: I find that very hard to believe.]
Charity: Oh, if Gene said he is his dad, I'm leaving.
[Gene: Believe it. We're both judged very harshly by the world, you for your voice and I for my often hostile methods of revenge, but beyond that,]
Toast: You're on your own.
[all we want to do is do good for the world and for the people we know best. Loud: But your good is evil,]
Pule: That means evil is good???
[you still think that you'll be making it a better place if we die and the only person you know best you'll be helping is your equally sick friend]
Charity: Mr. Stupid Hand.
[Morre. Gene: Well in that we're different, and also in this way. Only one]
Loud: A HIGHLAND REFERENCE?
Toast: Better leave the skirt at home, dude.
[of us can live at 4:00 to continue our doing good. Miss Info: (Coming up behind him) And that someone is him, and you'll have to go through us otherwise! Charity: Everyone grab him and repay him for all the "good" he's done!]
Charity: Besides getting me together with Loud? Yeah, I believed that.
[(The four friends]
Toast: Oh no. Not that show!
[all jump onto Gene and bring him to the ground. They begin unleashing another assault of punches and assorted other fighting moves as they "repay" him.]
Loud: EVERYONE PILED ON THE DOOFY GUY!
[But Gene moves his free left hand towards his belt,]
Pule: Oh no, he's stripping!
All: (screaming)
[and presses it. Just like that, he fades away without a trace]
Loud: A BETTER SHOW.
[and the others land on the ground) Loud: What in blazes happened, where'd he go? Charity: I saw him pushing his belt, do you think that's another one of his inventions that he stole? Harry: I can't tell whether he stole it or made it himself,]
Toast: Dude, he can't tell period.
[but either that was an invisibility belt, or it was]
Pule: A pretty lame plot device.
[some sort of matter teleportation belt that got him somewhere. But we should get out of here before we find out which, the others are still in the army's possession! (From behind them, Morre gets up groggily]
Charity: Man, he had to stay away from the beer.
[and prepares to charge at them: until a small rumble is heard) Miss Info: Did you guys hear that?]
Loud: THAT SOUNDS LIKE CARTMAN'S STOMACH GROWLING.
Pule: What a fat bum.
[(Another rumble is heard, only a bit more louder. Two more rumbles are heard one by one and the ground begins to shake)]
Charity: Sounds like they are going a sequel to "Gangs of Chicago".
[Harry: That sounds all too familiar. (Two more louder rumbles are heard, the last one knocking over some lamps and vases. From outside the soldiers and the Histerians come out of the White House, and are knocked to the ground from the rumbling. Just then a shadow droops over them)]
Toast: Droopy Dog as The Shadow.
Pule: A better one than Alec Baldwin, I hope.
[Charity: Well it was a matter teleprompter all right,]
Pule: A teleprompter? Is that worse as a telemarketer?
[and now we know where he teleported himself to!]
All: Heck!
[Loud: We've gotta run, but where? I think we're near the East Wing and]
Pule: Martin Sheen is doing an episode in The West Wing.
[we don't know what direction that thing is headd. (As if to answer the question, a large pointed leg comes stomping into the ground behind them. From outside we see the giant machine with its front right leg inside the White House. The soldiers look on with glee,]
Loud: THEY LIKE THAT GENE IS TRASHING THE WHITE HOUSE? WHAT A BUNCH OF NUTS!
Charity: Tell me about it.
[while the Histerians look scared.]
Toast: Dude, they look scared at the film than we are.
[We go back inside)]
Charity: To "That's My Bush", already in progress.
[Harry: There's an answer, it's coming to the left,]
Toast: Shake it to the right! Do the hippie hippie shake!
[let's run to the rightZ! (They run away from the leg, running past Morre. He runs after them, but they are too focused on running away from the leg rather than noticing him.]
Loud: (snickering) OH? WHO WANTS TO NOTICED HIM?
Pule: Someone who wants to died.
[The leg rises up from the ground. Miss Info: Look, we're almost at]
Pule: Disneyland.
[the White House front door! (We see the front door not too far away) Charity: If we can get out of here, we'll be a little bit safer! (The leg comes down into the ground just behind them, causing them to fall. A very large gun with a large square barrel]
Charity: No comments, not even from you, Pule.
Pule: Now what?
[comes out of the leg, but it doesn't shoot at the good guys,]
Charity: But at the director who made this flob.
[rather at the door. We see a steel door land and stick onto the regular door. Our heroes run towards it) Loud: (Pulling on it with Harry) This thing won't budge!]
Pule: It is a Histerian-proof cap!
[I don't think we can get out now! Harry: There is one other thing we can do. Duck and cover,]
[(We see another large gun come out, only more regular looking this time. It's just below the surprisingly still intact ceiling.]
Loud: HUH. CLINTON MUST HAVE USED LEAD.
[It begins to shoot at them, but of course misses. It then stops for a second as they run farther from it) Miss Info: Hey look, ity's stopped for now! Charity: So let's take advantage of it,]
All: (fearfully) No!
[find another way out of here. (They run farther away, but Harry stands still and runs the other way) Loud: Harry, what are you doing?]
Charity: This isn't the time to go to the bathroom!
[COME BACK, YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!! (Loud and the others]
Toast: Yet another better movie.
[run after him, quickly catching up, about 30 feet away from the leg) Miss Info: What did you do that for?! Harry: Get down]
Pule: Get funky!
[on the floor, quick! (They duck down and then a large laser blast streaks 10 feet above their heads, and lands at the spot they were in a few seconds earlier, laying waste to much of the area)]
Pule: And France.
[Charity: I get it,]
Charity: No, I don't. Who am I kidding?
[you ran that way to avoid the large blast! Harry: I'm sure glad you like me enough to follow me and avoid being blasted yoruself.]
Toast: Because if we don't, we woulda killed him by now, dude.
[Loud: We'll have to do it with you again,]
All: EEEWWW!
[another one's coming! (Another blast is coming that way above them, and they run away straight ahead. However, they're blown back from the blast this time and land on the ground hard) Miss Info: That didn't work as well this time, what else do you have up your sleeve?]
Loud: HIS ARMS.
[Harry: Hold it, I'm feeling something]
Toast: Don't think of it, Harry.
[underneath this rug. (He feels the rug]
Pule: Ugh. I think I became sick.
[they're on and pulls it out of the way to reveal a soldi steel door with no doorknob)]
Loud: GOOD, WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO HIM ANYWAY?
[Charity: Figures something like that would be here,]
Charity: Because it it bad enough to make this movie worse.
[and quite fortunate, cause judging from that gun, another blast is coming. (Harry pulls out a small crowbar]
Charity: How did he get it from thin air, we may never know.
Toast: Although come to think about it, I don't want to know, dude!
Charity: Right.
[and tries to force the door open just as another blast comes at them. He then gets it open) Harry: Come on, get in quick! (They quickly drive into whatever the door leads to]
Loud: OH NO, CLINTON GOT PORNO MAGAZINES DOWN THERE!
[and close it just as the blast hits it, but surprisingly the door stays where it is, unmarked. Morre comes over and looks puzzled over what just happened)]
Toast: Dude, he looks confused at the film as we are.
[Morre: No fair,]
Pule: Great, now I won't get any cotton candy.
[that was hardly the place to put in a trap door! I guess I'll have to do this myself.]
Loud: SEEING HOW HE IS TOO STUPID BEFORE TO ANYTHING HIMSELF.
[(Morre gets out a lockpick and uses it to opent he door. He then climbs down a very huge steel ladder, and as he does so the door above slams shut.]
Toast: On his hand.
[Cut to Gene inside the control room of the spider) Gene: What's with that door,]
Charity: Oh no, not a Jerry Seinfeld joke!
Others: No!
[why didn't it break?! Well, even if it is hard to crack, I can just drive my leg through the ground next to it to get them.]
Pule: Boy, he got one heck of a huge leg there.
[(Pause) Wait,]
Loud: (Gene) I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN THIS MOVIE!
[Vincent just got under there. I think I'll wait a few minutes so he can get a shot at them, I doubt he'd kill them before I got a shot.]
Charity: That idiot Morre can't hit a broad side of the White House.
[But I'll keep trying to break that door to get them nervous. (Below the ground, the good guys are in a very large warehouse like room with many boxes)}
Toast: Oh great. They just walk on the set of "Space Mutiny". I saw this.
Pule: Baaaddddd movie.
Toast: Totally, dude.
[Loud: Boy, I'm beginning to see why it was so hard to get in this place,]
Pule: Because no one cares.
[I'm betting this is where they store the things they don't want the people to know. Miss Info: I thought they did that in Area 52 or wherever those Z-Files agents work in.]
Pule: I thought it was Area 51 and X-Files.
Charity: We know, but Robert doens't want any plagarism suits.
[Harry: (Looking at the boxes) He's right, these contain such things as files for the JFK murder,]
Loud: YOU MEAN LEE HARVEY OSWALD DIDN'T DO IT ALONE?
[the Ark of the Covenant,]
Charity: How did Indiana Jones get that in thare?
Toast: Don't know and don't care.
[and Walt D*sney's cryogenic body is probably here somewhere.]
Toast: Including the script to this movie.
[Charity: As tempting as it is to unlock the answers to all of histories conspiracies, we'd better find some way out of here. (A latge rumble is heard and they look up to see the steel door cracking, although it's actually the very tiniest of cracks)]
Pule: Oh, looks like Gene wants to unlock the answers too.
[Harry: Boy,]
Loud: (Foghorn Leghorn) I SAID BOY!
[I would have thought that thing would have been broken by it doing that. They really don't want anyone seeing this.]
Charity: Especially Ted Kennedy.
[Loud: Let's help them and find a way out before it does. (Back outside, the spider continues to drive it's leg through the steel door, but with no success. The soldiers watch this) Stacy: (To Nathan) I have a question,]
Charity: (Stacy) What is my motivation for this scene?
[if the real action's going on there, what are we still doing with them? Nathan: Before we get rid of them, we'll let them watch]
Pule: This movie.
[their friends die first, one of Dr. Burrows's favorite tactics. Soldier: He'd better get them soon,]
Toast: Baywatch is on.
[I don't know if we can hold these guys for 25 more minutes. (Froggo, being held at gunpoint by this soldier, notices a pen and piece of paper in his back pocker. He then gets an idea) Froggo: Hey Mr. Soldier, do you have a pen and a piece of paper I could borrow? Soldier: What do you need that for?]
Loud: NO REASON.
[Froggo: in the unlikely event]
Loud: THAT THE FIRST CAMERA IS UNABLE TO PERFORM HIS DTUIES.
[I'll be alive after being shot, I'd like to try to write a will. Soldier: Hmm, I suppose it's only fair.]
Pule: Oh, so there's a fair now.
[Yes, I do have those items. (Pulls them from his pocket and drops his gun) Here you go.]
Charity: A bunny rabbit.
[(He sees Froggo run away) Hey, hey,]
Toast: Kids!
[come back here, you littke sneak!!]
Loud: SOMEONE NEEDS SNEAKING!
[Andrea: I'll get him! (Aims her gun at him, but stops paying attention to her captive, Aka, and she tackles her.]
[and the Histerians get out of gunpoint range to face them)]
Charity: About time for another useless plot point.
[Soldier: Wait, why are we even paying attention to them,]
Toast: Because we're cool, dude.
[they pose no threat to Dr. Burrowws anymore. Sammy: It's not wise to underestimate what we can do, how else did we escape from you all this time? Nathan: He's right,]
Pule: Heh, first time for a dope.
[we can't take chances,]
Pule: Go to the bathroom before we begin this.
[shoot them now! Aka: Oh, you're too scared to take us on without your guns? Afraid we'd beat you senseless? Nathan: Of course not! Smartypants: Than prove it, it'd be more satisying and it'd help redeem y our blundering image.]
Loud: IT WON'T HELP, EITHER.
[Nathan: Very well, everyone put your guns in a safe place and attack! (They do so and charge the Histerians. We watch briefly various one on one battles between a soldier and one of our good guys,]
Toast: Dude, good grief.
[and most of the good guys are winning.]
Charity: You mean the good guys except Sammy are winning.
[One unseen office does not not seen to be battling anyone,]
Toast: Well, he's the smart one.
[and then he/she notices Sammy.]
Charity: What is this? Another stupid Dennis Rodman reference?!
[The soldier tuns around and we see who it is:]
Pule: Norm MacDonald!
[it's the nerdy fanboy from the original that hated Pokemon.]
Loud: OH, BOO!
[He looks angry at seeing Sammy) Nerd: YOU!!! (He charges at Sammy and hits him, though it's not doing much to hurt him)]
Charity: Dang.
[Sammy: Haven't we met before, I never forget someone with a weak left hand.]
Loud: (Sammy) NAMELY MYSELF.
[Nerd: We fought in that last angry mob battle and you tramatized me by saying what would happen with Pokemon! I just found out you lied about two of those three things you, now you're gonna pay!]
Toast: Okay, cash or blood?
[Sammy: Well, I did get word that Pokemon will be merging with the original Batman and... Nerd: That doesn't work anymore!]
Pule: You mean it never did???
[You're also crossed the line by]
Loud: ANNOYING R6.
[creating a show that put the world at risk! If he conquers the world,]
Pule: Not Adam Sandler!
[I could kiss TV shows to overanalyze and the Internet in which to do so goodbye!]
Charity: How many girlfriends that this guy has? (shrugs) Probably none.
[Sammy: But all I made was one mistake!]
Toast: Like starring in this movie!
[I don't think it's me that you want, our head of programming or whatever, Mr. Sellner,]
Loud: IT'S MR. KELLNER, YOU DOOFISH!
[is the one you want to blame. He destroyed your favorite Kids WBm shows and made Pokemon run around the clock, not me! Maybe you're trying to use me as a substitute]
Charity: Teacher.
[for what you'd do to him, and no offense, but you can hardly afford to get more nerdy and isolated.]
Toast: And stupid and annoying and oxnoxious.
[Nerd: (Breaking down) You're right! Oh why did Kids WB and all their classic shows have to be ruined and conquered by Pokemon?! WHY??!!]
Pule: What do you, the viewers at home, think?
[(Sobs) Sammy: There there, maybe you can get him back by getting a real job]
Pule: And a bath, he reeks!
[and work your way up to eventually become head of the network and amend these horrors. Nerd: I can do that?]
All: Nah!
[Sammy: Yeah, it's certainly better than going on the Net overanalyzing cartoons all day, and I hear comebacks score really big]
Toast: With the ladies, Nerd dude.
[in the all important ratings category that'll please your superiors. Nerd: You're right, I'm gonna get a real job and take over the network that needs a true fan to rebound from horror.]
Charity: That annoying book from "Pagemaster".
[(Imitating the AOL voice) Goodbye!]
Loud: AND GOOD RIDDANCE!
Toast: Dude, Sammy did something right?
Pule: Amazing isn't it?
Charity: No, it isn't.
[(Over nearby the other soldier are battling and losing. Nathan can' take it)]
Toast: Dude, he never does.
[Nathan: That's it, no more fair fighting! (He picks up his gun and prepares to fire, but W.O.W grabs it herself before he can open fire) Oh brother,]
Charity: Where Art Thou?
[please I don't need to do battle with a woman as old as time. W.O.W: I may be old, but I've learned a few battle tactics. Like this.]
Loud: I WOULDN'T.
[(Kicks his knee)]
Loud: PHEW.
[And this. (Bops him on the head) Oh, and this one's really good. (Takes our her teeth and uses them to bite his nose) Nathan: Ow!]
Pule: Dang, the World's Oldest Woman has killer teeth.
Toast: No kidding, dude.
[Give me that gun! (Takes it quickly from W.O.W)]
Loud: NOW GIVE ME THE HEAD OF GALLAGHER!
[Let's see if your teeth can save you from this! (Before he fires, Cho-Cho comes up and taps his leg. He turns around angrily) Nathan: What do you want?! Cho-Cho: Hey mister, you don't want to use that gun to shoot him.]
Toast: (Cho-Cho: It's warranty has expired, mister.
[(Hands out her gun, which is smaller than the others) This is small, but it's very powerful and you would want to make this more painful after what she did to you. Nathan: You[re right, if that's an offer]
Charity: That he can't refused.
[to use that gun to do it, I accept. (Puts down his gun and takes hers, then stops) Wait a second, this is how this battle got started in the first pl... (He's cut off as W.O.W, using Nathan's old gun, shoots a net at him and covers him.]
Pule: I thought Nathan was smart.
Charity: He is.
[He rips through them quickly,]
Charity: Told ya.
[and looks very irate as he comes up to Cho-Cho) Nathan: That was a very dirty trick. (Grabs her) I guess we'll have to see now how you like it! (before he can do whatever he's going to do to make that point, Lucky Bob taps his leg)]
Loud: GEEZ, HOW MANY TIMES CAN THIS GUY GET INTERRUPTED?
[Lucky Bob: Um, I can't let you hurt her. She's my friend.]
Charity: And his girlfriend.
[Nathan: And what are you going to to stop me, my mentally challenged friend?]
Toast: Dude, I was he was dumb.
Loud: THAT IS ANOTHER WAY TO SAY DUMB, TOAST.
[Lucky Bob: This. (He jumps onto Nathan's face and he lets go of Cho-Cho. When we see Lucky Bob get off him, his face is battered and bruised) Ta da!]
Pule: Man, Lucky Bob is one heck of a fighter!
Toast: I'll say, dude.
[Muldoon: (Calling out to Nathan) Are you okay? I can send my soldiers to help. Nathan: No, keep that mob in line!]
Pule: You stay in line, you moron.
(The others get up to leave as the movie continues)
[(Looks at the battle and then at the spider) He'd better get them quick, that's all I can say.]
(We go through the door sequence again until we are back in the main room.)
Toast: Dude, so far, so stupid.
Charity: Yep.
(The callign light flashes)
Pule: Hey, Loud. Stalin and the Froggo is calling.
Loud: Okay.
(Loud pushes the respond button. QC to Base 16. Stalin and Froggo just gotten back from their party.)
Stalin: Hello, my prisoners. We had a lot of fun at our party, right Froggo?
Froggo: You got it, Stalin.
(Stalin chuckles and looks evilly at our prisoners.)
Stalin: How's the movie so far?
(QC back to the Satellite)
Charity: Well, it wasn't that bad.
(QC back to Stalin)
Stalin: Oh, it will, it will. (laughs
Froggo: Uh, do you think you could actually give them a really bad one, Stalin?
Stalin: (angrily) And do you think you can avoid any punishment from me?!
Froggo: Uh...
(Stalin gets a hammer and approaches Stalin sinisterly. He turns to the camera.)
Stalin: Froggo is going to regret that remark, people. We'll be right.
(We can see Froggo's screams as we go to commercial)