(The prisoners came in, sitting down while mumbling what just happened before the commerical)
Toast: Dude, Stalin really hurt him.
Loud: YEAH, WHAT A GRUMP.
[(Back at the warehouse,]
Loud: TEXAS GOT A WAREHOUSE IN IT!
[the rumbling below the foursome continues) Harry: We can't stay this lucky much longer,]
Charity: Someone else has to be lucky.
[that'll break through any minute. We've got to find a way out of here that will lead out of the White House. Charity: Even if we do, we have only 20 minutes left, how'll we overthrow Gene and avoid that spider in that short time? (They walk past another crate, but this one happens to have a familiar figure in back of it)]
Toast: Dude, it's Charlie Rich!
[Miss Info: Thinking about it makes my head hurt,]
Pule: Well, watching this movie makes anyone's head hurt.
[let's just get out of here fast. Loud: This entir area must be below the West Wing, I suppose we'll just have to... (he's cutt off as a gunshot is heard and h stops abruptly, then screams in pain) Charity: (Panicked) What happened,]
Pule: He hurts on his small toes.
[are you okay?!]
Loud: (sarcastic) NO, I LIKE TO PRETEND JUST TO GET ATTENTION.
[Loud: (Strained) I've...been shot in the back.]
Toast: In the...rats! What's that word they used in that Julius Caesar song?
[Harry: But how? That leg hasn't come in yet and as far as we know Gene's still up there.]
Charity: No, he's down there. Way down there.
[Miss Info/Charity: (Obviously both knowing who else could have done this) Mr. Morre.]
Toast: Who is Morre?
[(Morre comes out with a gun)]
Toast: Oh, him.
[Morre: Surprise.]
Loud: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
[Now stand still and you'll ensure you three will be with forever...in the afterlife! (He shoots his gun at then and misses narrowly. Harry picks up Loud and they run quickly behind another crate) Harry: Wait, why are we running from him,]
Pule: They are obviously running from this movie.
[we can take him. Miss Info: Because he has the gun and he shot Loud.]
Charity: And he smell very bad.
[Harry: You two fix him, and I'll fix that gun problem. (He comes up and walks to face Morre) Morre: You're either either very brave or very stupid,]
Charity: Or maybe both.
[you know I can kill you with one shot. Harry: Is that all you can do?]
Pule: Besides acting badly?
[What else can you do to me, Vincent? Bop me with an expensive maltese falcon?]
Loud: DOESN'T POWER RANGER HAS ONE OF THOSE?
Toast: Well, they do, dude, except it is white.
[That would be risky since]
Toast: It isn't in this movie.
[that'll lessen it's value. Or are you gonna use 3-D]
Loud: 3 DEER?
[effects to boil me into wax and use mr for a wax museum?}
Toast: Dude, suddenly we got a Scooby-Doo thing hee.
[Well, they probably would have that here. (Morre looks more annoyed at these references to his namesakes)]
Pule: You know, you guys shoulda done this early. Woulda saved you time.
Charity: True, but we got the army to dodged during that time.
[I got it, you're going to send a man made guy with scissors for hands to get me! Well, then again that guy was anything but evil]
Charity: And stupid.
[and wouldn't do that to anyone that didn't deserve it, but you get the reference. Morre: Forget the gun.]
All: Huh?
[(He throws it away) I'll kill you with my bare hands!]
Loud: SO HE IS GOING TO KILL A BEAR AND USES ITS HANDS ON HARRY?
[(as if possessed to be true to his word, Morre unleashes a series of punches to Harry's head and stomach. Harry hits him back with a shrot series of punches and then grabs him. Morre gets him off]
Charity: With good behavior.
[him quickly and pushes him away, while he collides with a crate. Meanwhile far away,]
Toast: In another movie.
[Charity is tending to Loud's injury while Miss Info watches the battle) Miss Info: Charity, you stay here and help Loud, I have to help Harry. (Harry is now dodging Morre's punches and kicks and is getting some wind back from earlier.]
Pule: Oh please. Those don't even sound like punches!
Toast: More like something slapping.
[Morre seems to be swinging at air]
Charity: (air) Ouch! That hurta!
[as Harry ducks from his fist) Morre: Stand still and fight a man! Harry: Okay, if you insist! (He starts hitting Morre with punches of his own. He hits him from his left and hits him with his right a split second later. He does this for a second or two then kicks him in the stomach,]
Loud: JACKIE CHAN IS HARRY NORMAN.
[then in the knee and he falls) Morre: Well, I suppose I asked for that. Harry: Yes, you literally did ask me to do that.]
Toast: Dude, he did?
[Morre: And you've also given me reason to do this!]
Toast: Give him income taxes, dude.
[(He grabs his legs and pulls him down to the ground. He then sits on his back, grabs his fair, raises his head and then slams it to the ground)]
Pule: He obviously seen wrestlign.
Charity: Should be.
[Miss Info: Stop!]
Loud: IN THE NAME OF LOVE!
[Wouldn't you rather have me, VIncent?]
Charity: Is that a come on?
Loud: BETTER NOT BE.
[Morre: (Gets up) You're shockingly more stupid than even I though. Do you really think you can beat me in a fair fight? Miss Info: Well, why don't we find out? (She punches him twice then starts to kick him. But Morre responds quickly with his own blows to the head.]
Charity: That bum is hitting a lady!
Loud: WHAT A JERK!
[He moves forward to grab her but she grabs him first and brings his head down onto her knee. Harry goes over to join her as Morre gets up. They both swing their fists at him, but he ducks]
Pule: Ducks, geese.
[just in time. He then dives in front of Harry. Miss Info then tries to hit him, but he ducks again and winds up hitting Harry instead) Miss Info: Oh no!]
Loud: MR. BILL PRESENTS!
[Harery I'm sorry, did I hurt you!]
Toast: (Harry) Just my pride, dude.
[Harry: You can make it up to me bu looking out! (It's too late, as Morre grabs them both and bangs their heads together.]
Loud: MORRE, INFO, AND HARRY AS THE NEW THREE STOOGES.
[They go down woozily. Morre steps over then and prepares to make another blow with his right arm, but as it swings back, a pair of small arms grab the arm.]
Pule: Oh no! It's the Midget people! They're attacking!
[The owner of the arms, Charity, then twists his arm backwards. Morre howls in pain)]
Charity: Now he's a stupid werewolf.
Toast: Dude, someone get the silver bullets already.
[Morre: OW!!!! My arm, my poor arm,]
Toast: Speak to him, not that we care.
[thank goodness it's not severed, it sure felt like it! (To Charity) Come here, you. (He grabs her with his other arm and runs towards the arm) Why is it everytime I forget]
[about how much I want to kill you, you have to go and muddle]
Loud: IT'S MEDDLE, MORRE.
[in my trying to kill someone else and make me want to kill you again>\? There must be somwthing here that'll get rid of you.]
Charity: Unfortunately for you, it ain't here.
[(Morre then spys something: it's a cryogenic freezer, exactly like the one seen in "Plan Brain from Outer Space"]
Toast: Only that freezer was cooler. Heh, get it? Cooler?
Charity: Yes, we get it, Toast.
[And wouldn't you know, the man inside is none other than Walt D*sney himself)]
Pule: In a depressing cameo role.
[Morre: Yes, this will do very nicely. (He opens the freezer and pulls out D*sney's body)]
Pule: Out your pixie go, through the door or through the window.
[This guy was preserved pretty well, lets see if you turn out the same)]
Charity: So what is he going to do? Preserve me for dinner?
[(On the freezer control panel, he sets the number of years from "The moment D*sney Studios loses its control on animated studios"]
Loud: YOU MEAN THEY DIDN'T ALREADY?
[to 10,000 years, then sets another monitor from "Purpose:]
Toast: To annoy people, dude.
[Preserve Body" to "Purpose: Freeze body to death") Though I doubt it with these orders. Harry: (Running into view with Miss Info) Charity hold on, we'll save you! Charity: You know, I'm getting sick of being the girl in distress here,]
Toast: Yeah, she isn't even wearing a dress!
Other: Yeah...huh?!
[I'm hardly someone who just stands around in danger, whining for the hero to save her.]
Charity: Especially since my hero is sitting next to me.
(Loud blushes at this)
[Allow me to demonstrate. (She frees her arms from Morre grasps]
Pule: (Charity) Oh geez, I shoulda done that the whole time, I wonder what I stay there so long?
[and squeezes his right arm. Morre whinces from even more pain from the arm, and he lets go of her. His head goes into the freezer,]
Loud: HOPE THE GUYS FROM "PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE" ISN'T IN THERE!
[and Charity closes the door on a very lightly on his neck, but enough so he can't get his head out. They then run away from the now on freezer, then Morre pushes the Off button on the control panel and his head is released from the freezer's grasp, but his head is freezing and his teeth are chattering)]
Charity: (snickering) Now he's a Morre-sickle.
[Morre: Brr! T-t-that's it, n-n-no more]
Loud: M-M-MISTER N-N-NICE G-G-GUY!
[fair f-f-fighting! (Finds his gun lying nearby) They just don't get the point, one or more of us have to die before 4 PM. And since I have no intentions of dying today... (he's cut off as the rumbling from the spider leg gets louder.]
Pule: He is obviously sayind a cursed word.
Loud: ALTHOUGH EVERY WORD HE SAY IS CURSED.
Charity: True, true.
[The good guys turn and notice that the steel door is almost broken) Harry: Oh dear, that leg is gonna get here any second, let's get out of here! (From behind, Morre points his gun as the still trio)]
Loud: AS THE STILL TRIO WHAT?! MAKE SENSE, PEOPLE!!!!!
[Morre: As I was saying,]
Toast: It's family type that I am working for in this business.
[since I have no intentions of dying today, you people will have to make good substitutes. (The leg then finally breaks through and comes into the warehouse) No, no, not now!]
Pule: Not the Jurassic Park reference, nto the 50th time in a row!
[Harry: Let's go! (They run and head for the crate where Loud is) Loud, do you think you're in running shape again? Loud: Well, Charity pulled the bullet out and put Band-Aids on my back to control the bleeding,]
Charity: That's not all I put on there. Heh, heh, heh.
(Liud blushes even redder)
[but even without that I still don't have a choice with that thing there, so the answer is yes,]
Loud: I WILL MARRY HER.
[let's go! (They resume running away]
Charity: And running and running and running and running and running and running and running and running...
[as the leg resumes it's firing on them, this time with regular sized laser blasts) Miss Info: Hey, what's that ahead of us?]
Toast: Why, it's Barney!
Pule: (Barney) We got to nip it in the butt, Andy.
[Charity: Gasp, iy's a ladder just like the one back there!]
Pule: (sarcastic) Oh geez, It was there the whole time, I wondered why they stay there so long.
[(We see said ladder, right in front of another wall and leading to the ceiling) Harry: Do you think this is a way out of here?]
Toast: Out of this movie? I doubt it, dude.
[Loud: Do we really have a choice to find out? Miss Info: No we don't, we may as well climb it. (They head in front of the ladder and start climbing. Morre notices them) Morre: Oh no you don't!]
Charity: (Morre) You aren't climbing the ladder before him!
[(He runs up and starts climbing the ladder too. Back aboard the spider, Gene is looking on at the ladder his enemies are climbing on)]
Loud: YOU MEAN MORRE IS HIS FOE NOW????
[Gene: Hmm. (Turns to a computer) Computer,]
Toast: (Gene) Order me a pizza.
[get me the schematics of the entire White House, specifically to where the ladder leads to. (The computer does so. Gene looks at it for a second and smiles) Well, what do you know. How very...nostalgic.]
Pule: Oh yeah. Thanks for spoiling the plot for us!
Charity: What plot?
[(At the ladder, the good guys reach the ceiling, a door is right above them on it. Harry pulls out a crowbar and forces it open, revealing another ladder in what looks much like an elevator shaft.]
Loud: (singing) HE'S A HUGE THING AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HIM.
Other: Shaft!
Loud: YOU'RE **** RIGHT!
[But with no choice they continue climbing. With that the spider's leg lifts out of the room]
Charity: Eew. He got gum on it's bottom.
[and the spider moves to the right. Inside, Morre is following right behind the heroes. Finally, they get to another door on the ceiling. Harry forces it open again and climbs onto the surface of wherever they are...which turns out to be the roof]
Charity: What the...?! It's 24 Hours!
Loud: HEY, YOU GOT 24 HOURS IN MY ANOTHER 24 HOURS!
Pule: Well, you got Another 24 Hours in my 24 Hours!
Toast: Well, time to leave that film.
[of the White House, with the spider's head facing them 30 feet away) Miss Info: Oh no, not again! (Climbs onto the roof) Loud: (Gasps) Why did it have to be a roof again like how it ended last time?]
Loud: WHY CAN'T IT BE A BASEMENT!
[(She climbs on, then Charity does.]
Pule: Loud is a woman now?
[Then another square gun comes out from the spider's forehead. The foursome run away from the still open door and then it fires it's steel door. Morre's head then comes through the entrance) Morre: Ah ha! I have you now!]
Toast: (Morre) Now I can fight you and failed again!
[(Sees that the steel door is coming right at him) Or maybe not. Gene: Vincent! No!]
Loud: (Gene) YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE UNTIL LATER!
[[It's too late. The steel door covers the roof door, hitting Morre on the noggin and forcing him to fall all the way through the shaft and back into the warehouse.]
Pule: (Morre) Be right down in a minute!
[Thankfully for him]
All: (moans)
[there are crates below him, so instead of falling on the ground dead,]
Charity: Like he was supposed to.
[he falls onto the pile of crates and is knocked unconscious. Gene looks at him limp form on his monitor) Gene: No, Vincent!]
Toast: (Gene) Oh, it only I didn't become a robot. Oh wait, I did!
Loud: OR HE DECIDED HE WANTED NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH THIS CRAPPY FILM.
[and it's hard to tell which! And if he's dead and even if he isn't, it's gonna be harder than ever to convince myself that it wasn't my fault.]
Charity: Stop thinking so much, Gene.
[For once, I can't help but feel that someone else's pain isn't my fault, especially when the someone is the only one that understood me.]
Toast: Dude, no one can understand him.
[(He lowers his head and then rises it quickly, looking very angry) Well, in any case this is the last straw in our long sad history of last straws!!]
Pule: How many last straws are there anyway?
[It's time to end it all!]
Pule: He is going to get high!
[(Gene opens a door on the floor and goes down a hatch. On the roof, Harry tries to pull off the steel door) Harry: Well the sticking power of]
Loud: SPIDER-MAN.
[these things haven't change. We're stuck here again. (Just then below the spider's head, a mouth opens wide]
Toast: Dude, the spider is hungry.
[and Gene comes onto the roof) Gene: Well, I hope you people are happy.]
Charity: This movie is going to get longer.
[You just played a part in the possible killing of a most undeserving man.]
Toast: Brendan Fraser?
[If you truly understood the horrors Vincent Morre went through as I did,]
Pule: Then you might be a redneck.
[you wouldn't think of him as a foe who deserved what just happened to him. Loud: So sick minds trUly think alike, eh?]
Loud: I THINK SICK MINDS TRULY THINKS FOR THEMSELVES.
[Gene: Enough! You may have gotten rid of one threat, but you've inceased the desire of another to kill! (Pulls out a Viking like sword}]
Charity: Did he got that off the set of our show?
Toast: Dude, I hope not.
[This is for you, Vincent! (He swings the sword at them and they run away. However, Gene is more determined than ever and it's only by luck]
Charity: And stupidity.
[that the four are able to get out of the way in time. Below them, Nathan is watching them through a pair of binoculars) Nathan: It's not fair,]
Pule: Enough with the fair crack already! Geez.
[he's this close]
Toast: To being Gene Hackman, dude.
[and they keep running away. Well, I'm going to have to fix that. (Gets out another gun) Muldoon: Wait, you can't shoot them?]
Loud: GREAT, NOW WE KNOW WHERE R6 GETS HIS MISTAKES.
Toast: Totally, dude.
[Nathan: I know that,]
Loud: (Nathan) AND I STILL DON'T CARE.
[I'm going to trap them with the net,]
Toast: Dude, the internet?
[then they can't get away and he'll be able to chop them to bits! (Aims the gun and prepares to fire) Smartypants: Stop, you can't do that!]
Charity: Gene is still making payments on that gun.
[Nathan: Why can't I, why _shouldn't_ I?! I'm doing this for the country,]
Pule: And Canada.
[for the world, and for myself. All 274 million citizens of this country would agree]
Loud: THAT THIS MOVIE IS DULL, DULL, DULL!
[with me. Besides, I need to play a part int heir deaths, they killed my family!! Sammy: Oh yeah, I remember, you complained about that in the first meeting.]
Charity: Of the doofuses.
[You originally wanted to kill Gene for killing them, but Morre's story convinced you we did it. Nathan: And I still do, so move out of the way or you're next! Out!]
Toast: Dude, I was hoping he would at least wing Sammy a little.
[Father Time: First, tell us something.]
Pule: Who wrote the book of love.
[What is your opinion of Gene, what do you think of him now? Nathan: I don't like him,]
Pule: Whoop-dee-crap.
[I mean he has the right idea, but he's using the wrong methods to carry it out, endangering everyone in the country like this to get them. W.O.W: And what about your commanding officer, Mr. Morre?]
Toast: What about him?
[Nathan: I feel real bad for him, but he is a bit rough]
Loud: AND ON DRUGS.
[and too critical of us.]
Charity: I mean, he complained about their clothing for crying out loud.
[We're all just citizens with no army experience, and he doesn't take that into consideration of our performation.]
Toast: No matter this movie was dull.
Charity: What?
Toast: They got bad actors, dudette.
[Smartypants: And they both have one thing in common,]
Loud: THEY'RE DEAD.
[they've ruined their lives in pursuit of vengeance against us. They were both once good people, now they're evil villains, it happened to them, and I think it's happening to you. Nathan: Me?!]
All: Yeah you!
[Father Time: He's right, they were both normal people that used pure evil to get vengeance. You are a normal person too,]
Charity: Well, I wouldn't say that.
[I assume, and you're beginning to use evil to get your revenge. Nathan: But I'm also helping the country get back it's freedom! W.O.W: That's just what Gene would say.]
Pule: In a Gene Hackman sort of way, yeah.
[Do you want to turn out as evil as he was? Nathan: No, no I don't. Pepper: There's another key difference between us and him.]
Charity: We are on TV, and he isn't.
[We never meant or mean to hurt anyone, if we could have prevented Gene's descent into madness we would, whatever hurt we did we certainly did not do intentionally.]
Pule: Man, how boring is this movie anyway?!
Toast: Get to the point, Pep!
[But all the things he does are intentional, he means to cause people pain to convince them to kill us, and kill people too to do that, like he did to your family. Nathan: I guess he did, didn't he? Smartypants: Yes.]
Toast: Now.
[If you continue the decent into madness like he did, you'll become just like him.]
Charity: A really bad actor.
[Do you want to be like the man who really killed your family, who built the giant spider to do that, and who killed them and many others and put the country in danger just to kill 4 people? Nathan: No...no. (Begins to break down)]
Loud: SOMEONE SUPPLIED THAT GUY WITH OIL!
[Oh, you're all so]
Charity: Good.
[right! The worst thing is that I was actually helping the man who killed my family. Helping a murderer!]
Toast: Dude, that isn't a complete sentence!
Pule: More like a run-on.
[(Sobs) Why, why did I have to believe him?!]
Pule: Because you're crazy.
[W.O.W: There there,]
Toast: The millenium will begin soon.
[he has that affect on people. But you can still take your life back and not have it turn into his own. Nathan: You're right,]
Loud: KROGER'S GOT NEW COUPONS.
[I can, and I will! Pepper: Ah ha ha, this is even better than "Ricki Lake"!]
Charity: You mean worser. This movie is terrible.
Loud: RIGHT ON.
[Muldoon: So what do you want us to do now, sir? Nathan: Drop your weapons,]
Toast: Now your pants.
[put them away. Aka: Wait a minute, can't you use those to capture Gene? Nathan: No, he obviously has ways of]
Charity: Making people talk.
[getting out of his own creations,]
Pule: Even those he stole?
[and he probably would also self destruct these guns like what happened to Muldoon's original gun.]
Loud: HE REMEMBER THAT JUST NOW?! THAT IS TOO MUCH A PLOT HOLE IF YOU ASK ME!!!
[Your friends are the only ones that can save this country now. (Back on the roof, Gene is tiring, but is still swinging his sword]
Charity: Like a madman.
[at his enemies but still missing.]
Toast: MacGyver.
[Now he tries to take a shot at Miss Info, but before he does Loud jumps onto his back) Gene: Get off me!]
Loud: YOU MONKEY. WAIT, I AM TALKING ABOUT MYSELF! DANG!
[You should be savoring the few extra seconds you have left while I'm chasing them! Loud: You should know me better than that by now. Gene: Very well, you once again asked for it!]
Pule: Is that a sequel?
Loud: I HOPE NOT.
[(Begins to raise his sword at him) Loud: You can't do that, I could very well jump off your back and you would wind up stabbing yourself.]
[Gene then puts the sword back in his right hand and tries to pull off Loud's left hand, but he moves it away, releases his grasp on Gene's neck, but then he wraps his left arm around his neck)]
Toast: Dude, make up your mind already!
[Gene: (Strugging to speak) Oh, enough of this,]
Pule: (Gene) I don't want to Captain Kirk.
[I've got to use two hands to get rid of you! (He puts down his sword and tries to pull him off, but that only tightens Loud's grip on his neck, and worse,]
Pule: Batman and Robin just started.
[Miss Info then picks up the sword and]
Loud: PLAYS XENA, THE WARRIOR PRINCESS.
[throws it away, where it lands on]
Charity: Ted Kennedy, I hope.
[the ground) Gene: My sword, no! This was your plan all along, wasn't it?! Loud; You catch oh quick.]
Toast: Now die!
[Gene: When I get you off of me, I'll shut off that]
Toast: Grill, dude.
[scheming brain of yours for keeps!]
Loud: WHAT IS GENE GOING TO DO? PUT MY BRAIN IN JAR!
Charity: Oh, not a sequel to "The Brain That Wouldn't Die", please!
[Loud: Don't you get tired of making empty threats? (Now more angry, Gene continues to try to get Loud's hands off his neck. He then tries another approach and hits him on his back: and on the very same spot in which he was shot.]
Pule: (Loud) Ouch! The collar bone, watch the collar bone!
[Loud then lets go and screams in pain again) Gene: Well well, not so cocky now, are we?]
Charity: I demand you stop with the pervert jokes right now!
[Hmm, from the looks of it, Vincent got you good down there.]
Charity: Oh please.
[Looks like it's up to me to finish the job. (He then kicks him on that same spot. Loud screams again but his mouth is covered by Gene's hand) Gene: I think we've heard enough from that oversized mouth for one lifetime.]
Loud: I ALWAYS HATED THAT CHANNEL.
[Let's make that your final yell. (He then runs away still carrying Loud and for good reason,]
Toast: To turn this scene into a chase scene.
[the others are giving chase.]
Pule: No thanks. I don't want him.
Others: What?
Pule: You know, Chevy Chase.
Charity: What's wrong with him?
Pule: Good movies, bad actor.
Loud: GOOD POINT.
[Gene hits him again on that spoot, then squeezes it harshly for a while. Loud's screams and protests are muffled by Gene's hand.]
Loud: GET YOUR HAND OFF THAT SPOT, YOU DOPE!
Pule: Why can't you just bite his hand already? Geez.
[Gene then stops running about 10 feet from the front ledge of the roof and puts Loud down on the ground. He then kicks him again again then again until he's a few feet from falling off. Gene, obviously enjoying this very much, leans down for the final blow. Loud is in a lot of pain)]
Pule: He put Loud in pain by kicking that spot? Even a kick in the area is hurts harder.
Toast: Dude, I think being punched in the nose hurts as much.
Charity: True, but getting shot in the back and then having a foe hitting that painful side hurts, doesn't it?
Loud: DON'T REMIND ME.
Toast: Well this movie isn't helping, dude.
Pule: Yeah.
[Gwene: Your time has at last come, my foe. Now witness the final blow of my long overdue revenge!]
Charity: Which he is going to pay $1650 for.
[(He winds his arm back to land the final punch, but his arm is grabbed by two small hands, once again belonging to Charity)]
Toast: Who else, dude?
[Charity: I tried to warn you]
Loud: TO STAY OFF HER LAWN!
[this whole thing was a mistake. But now it's happening in a way I hoped wouldn't come true. I said that when you tried to kill me, he'd get you first, well now I've gone from being the threatened to the threatener!]
Charity: Which is my current job, believe me.
[Leave him alone!! (She tackles him and they go down on the ground.]
Toast: Dude, it's a cat and dog fight.
Pule: Woof and meow!
[She then lands a short series of blows to the head,]
Pule: Because the series was canceled by the stupid executives.
[but Gene then quickly pins her down. Gene then tries to pull something out]
All: EEEWW!
[of his picket, but Charity grabs his hand to stop him. He's able to pull out what he's looking for however,]
Toast: Oh, I am going to slapped whoever made this movie!
Loud: ROBERT.
Pule: Then let me slapped him then.
[it's another regular gun. Gene and Charity fight for control of it. Charity then grabs onto Gene's hand, but it still holds on to the gun. She forces it to lower however,]
Charity: I wouldn't. Heh, first time I said that about myself.
[and she takes one of his fingers, puts in on the trigger, then makes it fire)]
Charity: Phew.
[Gene: OW!!!! You shot my foot! My foot's been shot!!]
Loud: OH, DON'T BE A BABY, YOU BABY.
[Charity: Hey, technically you pulled the trigger,]
Toast: And his finger.
[I just helped. Now let me help you again, help you end your life! (She kicks his foot and rolls him closer to the ledge of the roof. Gene tries to get up, but he goes down again from the pain on his foot. Miss Info and Harry then come up to help her, and together in a final effort, they roll Gene off of the roof. However, before he falls, he is able to grab on the ledge]
Loud: NOT AGAIN!
Pule: Geez, this movie got more twists than the last Crossover Party.
[and, just like last time, is holding on for his life) Charity: I don't think]
Charity: Gene is cool.
[we should just let him hang on like last time, one of us will have to throw him off]
Pule: Our trail.
[this time. I'll be that one. Gene: Not if you're dead first. (He raises his right hand and grabs Charity's leg, then throws her off the roof, but he grabs on to his right leg before faling)]
Loud: DID CHARITY BECAME A MAN AND BACK ALL OF THE SUDDEN?
[Miss Info: Charity! Climb up here, I'll save you! (Gene raises his left arm this time and hits her legs, causing her to slip and fall too, but she grabs on to his left leg, causing Gene to slip a bit himself, from the weight]
Toast: Dude, Gene is like fat.
[on his leg and the pain from his foot which she's holding on to) Harry: You had the right idea at least, Miss Info. Climb up and _I'll_save_you_.]
[he backs away so Gene can't grab him. Miss Info begins to climb up Gebne's body and is almost back on the roof, but Gene then turns his head and head butts her,]
Loud: GENE IS REALLY A BUTT HEAD, HUH?
[causing her to fall off and she're barely able to grab onto Gene's foot again to prevent from falling) Harry: (Running up to Gene) Hold on, Miss Info, I'll get you!]
Charity: For what? Does Harry want to get Miss Info for something?
[(He then realizes that he's close to Gene again, and he then hits his knees and he falls, but he's able to grab on his left leg right below Charity.]
Toast: Dude, one more and he has to juggled.
[Gene is very close to falling off. Loud then finally gets up to face him) Gene: Welcome back Loud,]
Pule: Gene just ruined a good show!
Charity: What good show?
[in case you haven't noticed, I'm about to fall to my death and take your pals with me. Haha,]
Pule: What is Gene? Nelson?
[isn't it painful? To save the lives of your friends, you're going to have to save my life too. Just gutwrenching that you have to]
Loud: BE IN THIS MOVIE.
[save your worst enemy to save your best friends. However, I;m going to spare you from having to do that]
Toast: (Gene) I will act like Dr. Smith.
[and just fall off now. Ta ta. (He's about to let go, but Loud quickly grabs his hands and is barely able to hold on to them) Loud: You're right, it is ironically painful to save you, but for them, I'd saave Hitler!]
Charity: Why would he want to save that bum?
[Besides, you'll probably be dead soon enough. Climb up quickly, guys! (Harry quickly climbs up Gene's body]
Toast: Dude, be better watch out for his you-know-what area.
[and is onto the roof in seconds. Gene then looks down at Loud's hands]
Charity: What is he? A fortune teller?
[and moves his head towards then as if to bite them and make him let go, but Harry grabs his head and holds it tightly. Miss Info then starts to climb up herself.]
Pule: How can she climb herself? She is on Gene.
[In a few seconds she's able to get back onto the roof. Charity then tries to climb up himself and puts her right hand on Gene's shoulder, and her left hand is then grabbed by Harry, who helps her up onto the roof. Then with everyone up, Loud pulls Gene up himself) Gene: pant, pant,]
Loud: THAT IDIOTS NEEDS SOME PANTS.
[wait a minute, I thought you were going to kill me, not pull me up. Oh well, guess it's time]
Charity: To say goodbye to our company.
[for me to take advantage of your last act of stupidity. (He starts to get up but goes down quickly from standing up on his hurt foot.]
Toast: Dude, that's is his last act of stupidity.
All: (laughing)
[Miss Info and Harry then pick him up, and Loud and Charity climb onto their backss and help lift him too) Harry: As you may have figured out,]
Loud: WE HATE YOU.
[we only pulled you up so we could]
Pule: Help you up again.
[get rid of you together, as it should be. Now we're going to do what we should have done a long time ago! Good bye Gene, and hello]
Loud: NURSE.
[to the return of democracy in our country! (They then throw him off the roof together. Gene screams as he goes down, and lands to the ground rather awkwardly and painfully. The remaining Histerians and army rush up to his limp form)]
Toast: Dude, I remember this from "Batman", dudes.
[Toast: Whoa, that was a real nasty and painful fall. Ew, he looks really hurt. (Nathan checks for a pulse fow a few seconds)]
Pule: Pulse fow? What the heck is a pulse fow?
[Nathan: His pulse just stopped. (Trumphant) Lades and gentlemen]
Charity: I introduced you to the Beatles.
[all over the country, Gene Burrows is dead! (The mob of citizens, th army and our heroes on the ground cheer loudly and excitedly. On the roof, the four good guys jump for joy)]
Loud: NURSE JOY.
[Miss Info: (Hugging Harry) We did it! And with a good 10 minutes to spare! Charity: Way to go back there Charity. Thanks for saving me]
Charity: From making a fool out of himself.
[back there. (Hugs her) Charity: Why would I have done anything else? Loud: Ow!]
Toast: (Loud) Watch the collar bone, watch the stinking collar bone!
[Just don't hug me too tight, that back still hurts.]
Pule: Loud needs that guy a massager.
[(Back on the ground, everyone is hugging and cherring. Nathan leans towards Gene's face) Nathan: Good bye, and good riddance, you murderer. (Just then,]
Pule: Yeah, yeah. His eyes opens. We get it.
[Gene's eyes incredibly open wide.]
Pule: See?
[Nathan backs up in total shock and fear. Gene then slowly gets up. He then walks towards the wall and even more surprisingly,]
Toast: Threw up, dude.
Pule: Eew!
[climbs up slowly up the wall]
Charity: Gene is totally up the wall.
[all by himself) Nathan: He's, he's alive,]
Loud: WE DON'T NEED A FRANKNSTEINR REFERENCE, NATHAN.
[it can't be!]
Toast: He's a robot.
[And how's he able to climb like that? Pepper: (Gasps) Ohmigawds,]
Loud: THEY KILLED KENNY!
Charity: You B*****d!
[look at his foot! (We Gene's hurt left foot, there it a lot of red on it, and we see the red is beginning to change color.]
Pule: Gene must be seeing spots.
[His right hand, also covered in red, is beginning to change it's color too) Smartypants: What's going on, not even I can figure out why this is happening,]
Charity: Just to make this movie go longer, Smartypants.
[and for that matter, what's happening. (He then looks at Gene's foot again and gasps in terror) Oh, oh my goodness, it can't be, it can't be!]
Charity: He is living in his pants.
[Nathan: What can't be? (He looks up) Gasp, he's a, a, a...]
Loud: A A A...A GRINCH!
[look out you guys up there!! (On the roof, our heroes are shocked and puzzled at what's going on. Just then Gene's head rises above the ledge, his left hand is holding on to it. But when he raises his right hand, the sight is uncomprehendable and terrifying...]
Toast: Dude, it better not be what I think it is.
Charity: What?
Toast: Covered in...well, you know.
Loud: SICK!
[the hand is now mechanical.]
Pule: He became Metallo!
[It's now complete solid steel and his fingers are also no longer human but scaly and robotic.]
Loud: SO HE'S A LIZARD ALSO?
[He jumps onto the roof and the sight is even more terrifying, most of his left leg is now metal, and any other part in which he was bleeding]
Pule: What a blodding sight.
[from the fall is metal too) Harry: No, this can't be]
Charity: Enough with the can't bes already!
[what it looks like, but it is! You're a, a, a robot! Loud: (Very nervous) Okay, okay I know the trick, this must be a robot, but this can't be Gene itself,]
Toast: Gene is even more ugly, dude.
[he probably got away and sent this thing to finish us. Okay Gene, we got the trick,]
Loud; NOW WHERE'S OUR TREATS?!
[where are you? Gene: I am Gene. This is a part of my final experiment. You see, when I was at Smartypants's lab,]
All: Shut up!
[I tried to think of some ways that I could come back to try again to kill you if I died.]
All: Liar, liar, liar.
[So, I created a machine that combined all the parts of a human with all the power of a robot.]
[Miss Info: So you were a robot all along? Gene: No,]
Loud: SHUT UP, ISLEY!
[the machine would only work after I died.]
Charity: Gnee The Not-So-Love Bug.
[When I died in human form, the affects of the machine would take over and release my robot form, so I would come back to life as an all powerful]
Toast: Know-it-all.
[robot. I gave up my humanity for the one thing I loved most,]
Pule: Money.
[science, and now with it, I will take away the things I hate most,]
Pule: The IRS.
[you four. Thanks for killing me and giving me this power to succeed this time, by the way.]
Charity: You're not welcome.
[Loud: No, npo, it can't be,]
Loud: NOT ANOTHER CAN'T BE!
[it can't be not over, not after such jubliation from your supposed death! Gene: Oh don't worry, it'll be over soon enough, but this time in my favor.]
Toast: Which we aren't giving you any, dude.
[(Suddenly a gun comes out of Gene's stomacn,]
Pule: He got an iron stomach!
[revealing more robotic flesh. But the gun soon goes away) No, no that would be too simple.]
Charity: What a mistake Gene just made.
[I think I'll use a more original trick for you. (He pulls off the human flesh on his other hand]
Loud: THAT SUPPOSED TO BE ORIGINAL? EVEN JUDGE DOOM CAN DO THAT.
[and both robotic hands soon go away...and then are replaced with metal axes.]
Charity: Gene is going to performed for us.
Toast: Dude, that is so cool!
[The arms then stretch from their sockets, attached to separate metal coils which are in turn attached to where the hands used to be and rush after our foursome. They run away from the axes which are now swinging at them,]
Loud: THE AXES GOT A MIND OF THEIR OWN!
[and Gene isn't walking a step) Miss Info: How are we supposed to get away from this,]
Pule: From this movie, she meant.
[there's no escape from this roof! Charity: Hey, there's an option right in front of us,]
Loud: YOU MEAN US? NAH, WE ARE ONLY WATCHING THIS.
[but it's not a very good one. (The open mouth of the spider is now is front of them)]
Pule: Say aah.
[Harry: You're right, going in there isn't a good alternative. (The left axe swings at him and he ducks, barely avoiding it) But we have no other choice! (The good guys run into the spiders mouth.]
Charity: Eeew! I don't want to do that again!
[It's full of empty metal space largely except for the ladder leading to the closed door of the control room, and behind that, a regular door. Harry gets out his crowbar]
Pule: Oh, he has to carried that thing around.
Toast: Dude, that bar is going to be the death of him.
[and forces that door open,]
Loud WHAT DID HE DO? THREATEN IT?
[then they run into wherever that door leads to and close it just as the axes reach them. They try to chop the door open with no success, until the arms go away and back into their sockets. Gene then walks towards the mouth himself) (Inside, the foursome are in what appears to be the center of the]
Charity: Earth.
[spider. There are working gears and engines and elaborate settings everywhere.]
Toast: But here.
[They look awestruck at the sight) Harry: Wow. Hard to believe]
Pule: That Heck froze over.
[such work and insight was put into such a monstrous and destructive device. Charity: Well, there may be the possibility that we may have to destroy this elaborate stuff to stop Gene]
Pule: And this movie.
[once and for all. Loud: She's right, we have to think of something.]
Loud: UNFORTUNATELY I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
[We could barely defeat him when he was human, what'll we do now that he's a powerful robot?]
Toast: Call in Transformers.
All: Robots in Disguise!
[Miss Info: First, we run!! (Gene is now seen right behind them.]
Charity: How did he get there so quickly?
[They run just as he's about to grab them.]
Toast: Dude, Gene the master of terrible timing.
[His arms disappear again and are now replaced by hacksaws. Our heroes then notice another ladder behind them leading to another door) Charity: Now we climb up this ladder, come on!]
Loud: I FIGURED WE CAN HAVE FUN UNTIL THIS BLOWS OVER.
[(They start to do so. Gene swings at them once and misses.]
Pule: Here's a tip Gene: Stop and aim!
[Then, his head stretches out of it's socker, and connected to the bottom of it is another metal coil like the ones from earlier.]
Charity: Heh, now Gene's head has a mind of its own.
[The head then stretches out some more and stops in front of Loud, who is at the top of the ladder with the rest behind him.]
Charity: Heh again. Gene is doing a T-1000 moment.
(Others snickered at this.
[He tries to climb up, but Gene's head hits his head and he almost falls, but holds on to the handles.]
Pule: I don't understand why Gene didn't just bite Loud's...
Others: Ahem....
Pule: Sorry.
[He tries to dive below the head, but it hits him again below his own and he almost falls again. Then, he jumps off to the right and grabs onto the ledge of the hallway above the ladder. He then climbs onto it. Gene turns toward him and the rest then climb up to the hall while he's distracted.]
Toast: Dude, they are totally "Histerians In The Hall".
All: (laughing)
[They then open the nearby door and close it quickly before Gene's head can get in)]
Loud: (Gene) WAIT, THAT'S THE CLOSET!
[Loud: Quick, lock that door so he can't get in!]
Loud: THEN PERFORM A LOCKDOWN!
[(We then see the room they're in is the control room) Miss Info: (Looking around) This must be where he's controlling the spider. There must be something in here that can help us.]
Toast: Or try to. Doesn't matter.
[Harry: Charity, guard the door while we look around. There must be something in these computers]
Pule: That isn't made by Bill Gates.
[and anywhere else in here that can give us some ideas on how to stop Gene. Miss Info: Isn't that what I just said?}
Charity: No, she said...ah, forget it.
[(Outside the door, Gene listens in on their conservations)]
Loud: (Gene) HEY! MY BIRTHDAY'S IN THERE!
[Gene: Well, I suppose it's time they knew. Better very late than never. (A noise comes out of his robotic stomach much like a printer,]
Charity: (AOL voice) You got paper.
[and a piece of paper comes out. He then slides it below the door inside the room. Charity is the first to notice) Charity: Guys, come over here,]
Toast: (Charity) My leg snaps!
[I found something! (They surround her to take a look)]
Pule: It's toilet paper!
[Harry: This must be a map of the entire structure. Hmm, there are various rooms everywhere, the engine room, the parts room,]
Pule: The Ball Room, Colonel Mustard's room...
[the...missile room?]
Toast: Yeah, that's where they put weapons to shoot at Iraq.
[Charity: That must be where he shoots all those weapons that came out when this all this began. Harry: Yes, you're right, but look at this. There seems to be a drawing of]
Charity: His mother.
[a missile located on where the missile room is. Why would that be there, we already know it's a missile room. (Just then another piece of paper slides through the door)]
Loud: IT'S SANTA CLAUS AND HE'S DELIVERING HIS OWN WISH LIST.
[Miss Info: Maybe this'll tell us the answer. (Looks at the paper) Hmm, these look like]
Toast: Suicide notes.
[blueprints for a missile all right?]
Loud: I DEMAND YOU STOP PUTTING A QUESTION WHERE IT SHOULDN'T BE!
[Why would he show us this? Loud: (From behind) Oh no, I think I just found the answer, look!]
Pule: He found Gene's baby pictures.
[(He runs up holding what appears to be an open diary, it also looks like it was found in a drawer underneath the console,]
Charity: Gene must be playing a Super NES.
[since a drawer is open below it. The date shown on the page Loud is showing is February 20th) Harry: (Reading the page) Dear Diary, an important part of my plan has finally been completed.]
Charity: (Gene) I have made VCRs hard to program.
[By releasing the nuclear energy from the substance Smartypants was using to create clean nuclear energy, I've combined it with the nuclear power of the missile I made and it now finally has the power of...]
Pule: Superman!
[two atomic boms?! Charity: That makes what I just found worse, look! (She shows them the missile blueprints and points to a time on top of the missile which says "Fire]
Loud: IN THE HOLE!
[at 4:00 PM Thursday)]
Toast: At Adam Sandler's house.
[Harry: No, it can't, but it is!]
Loud: (Guybrush Threepwood) THIS IS THE CARNIVAL OF DOOM!
[He doesn't plan to rule the city if we're not dead, he plans to destroy it! Loud: (Catching on) If we're not dead he'll fire that missile and with the power of two nuclear bombs it would destroy the city, and us too!]
Toast: Aw, man, dude. I planned to nuke France.
[Miss Info: Wouldn't he get killed too? Charity: He probably would have]
Charity: Been dead already.
[some way of escaping, then the remaining public would think he died too and he'd get away with what he's done! (Gene then barges through the door)]
Pule: He can knock down the door at anytime?! Why didn't he do that to begin with?!
[Gene: So you stumbled onto my little plan. Now don't look so shocked,]
Loud: WE HAVEN'T BEEN HIT BY LIGHTNING.
[you should know I have no interest in domination,]
Charity: (Gene) I am leaving that to Dr. Evil.
[I only used that as an empty threat to get them to kill you! And I figured if they couldn't,]
Toast: Then no one can!
[I'd do it myself and take the whole city with you as punishment for failure. Harry: You've, you've finally gone completely insane,]
Pule: He is insane already, Harry.
[you've lost your mind! Gene: Technically I have, since my human brain has been replaced by a robotic articially intelligent one.]
Pule: Ooh. Good comeback.
[Now I think you should surrender, isn't it better for 4 people to suffer than millions of them?]
Charity: Oh, that line is so old it is older than the World's Oldest Woman!
[Loud: We're not surrendering.]
Loud: AND THIS ISN'T WATERLOO.
[You're going down for good this time and this city's still gonna be standing at 4:00 even though we'll still be alive! Gene: Fine, if you want to do this the hard way]
Toast: Or the Hemingway.
Charity: Hemingway?
Toast: Yeah, it's was a joke from Celebrity Deathmatch, dudette.
Charity: I see.
[ane endanger millions of people (his fingers disapper and are replaced with robotic claws) so be it.]
[(He charges at them trying to slash them with his claws, but they run. He goes up towards Miss Info first, who punches him but she only hits solid steel which hurts her hand,]
Loud: GEEZ, THIS MAN GOT FISTS OF STEEL.
[and then it's grabbed by Gene's. He's about to his claws through her wrist, but Loud throws the diary at him]
Charity: (indicating Gene writing in his diary) Dearest Diary, my foe just thrown you at me.
(Others chuckled)
[and it his his head. He lets go and goes after Loud. At the control console, Harry is looking through the drawer, finds a microphone,]
Toast: (Harry) Might as well do Karaoke while I am up here.
[and plugs it into a nearby outlet) Harry: (Speaking into the microphone) Attention! Attention]
Pule: (Speaker) Will a owner of a red, white, and blue car comes to the D.C. parking lot? Your lights are on.
[everyone below, this is Dr. Harry Norman.
Pule: And you are?
[I'm here to say that Gene was lying when he said he'd take over the country if we didn't die! If we're not dead in 8 minutes, he'll launch]
Charity: His lunch.
[a missile with the power of 2 atom bombs and destroy the city! (Everyone gasps in terror and begin to panic) So everybody,]
All: Tearing out my heart!
[get out while you still can, go! (Gene then tackles him from behind,]
Loud: FIRST DOWN!
[but he slips out.]
Toast: And he rumbles on the 40 yard line!
[Gene then resumes battling our heroes. Below, everyone is beginning to panic) Man: Wait!]
Toast: (Man) I am not supposed to be in this movie! They lose me in "Independece Day!"
[We shouldn't be screaming,]
Pule: They should watch the pain dry.
[we should be charging at that spider and killing them! I mean, they can't do that,]
Charity: Who? 'N Sync?
[so we should to save ourselves! (The mob of citizens murmurs in agreement) Man 2: He's right!]
Loud: ABOUT WHAT? THIS MOVIE GETTING UGLIER?
[Let's go over there, get into that machine and kill everyone aboard and save us all!]
Charity: Especially that Tommy Kirk guy from "Catalina Caper!"
[(The citizens finally go through the barricades, go through the front gate and charge at the spider. Gene breaks away from battle to watch this)]
Loud: HERE IS AN IDEA. TRY QUICK CUTTING, ROBERT!
[Gene: All those people down there, citizens, army members and Histerians]
Pule: The IRS, the Girl Scouts, the Adam Sandler likers...
[alike are really getting to be a bother. Well, I may as well give them a preview of what may come.]
Toast: (Gene) But first I am going to turn up the volume.
[(From below, some people attempt to climb on the spider, but stop when they see the spiders head turnning and coming out of it is a very large laser. It appears to be warming up to fire)]
Loud: THE OUTSIDE IS COLD, SO I GUESS WE NEED A FIRE.
[Harry: No, no don't!]
Pule: Don't make them stop Cop Rock!
Charity: Oh come on. It got good review.
Pule: Yeah, to idiotic critics like Soaper!
[Charity: I think that's the point.]
Charity: Cedar Point?
Toast: I don't see your point.
All: (chuckled)
[(Harry tries to charge at him and get him away from the console, but he pushes him away hard and he falls to the ground.]
Toast: Dude, Harry must be hard if he can knock that robot down.
Loud: UH, ACTUALLY GENE PUSHES HARRY DOWN.
[Back below, everyone is starting to run, but the Histerians are, unlike everyone else, running towards the back of the White House) Smartypants: Everyone, stop!!!!]
Loud: YOU ARE STEPPING ON BUDDY'S STUFF!
Others: Eeew!
[Run to the back of the building, there's little chance you'll all be hurt cause he's firing at the front, come on! (Some citizens listen to him and follow him, but about 65-70% are running through the front gate.]
All: Packers!
[Muldoon keeps being pushed backwards by the onslaught of the people,]
Toast: Onslaught like in X-Men?
Charity: No.
[when all of them get through, he finds himself on the ground in front of the gate-and sees himself facing the laser. It fires and the blast seems to be coming right at him. He can't find himself to move away, since he's frozen in terror.]
Pule: (Muldoon) I regretted nothing!
[We then see a brilliant blue light covering the scene]
Pule: Oh right now, Lord Zedd is attacking. Great!
[and then we cut to a helicopter flying above the city,]
Charity: And somewhere in the world, a helicopter exists.
[carrying a cameraman and Dan Bladder) Bladder: This is Dan Bladder above the city, trying to figure out what's going on,]
Toast: Dude, he was in the city. He shoulda known what's the heck is going on!
[with this news that Dr. Burrows is a robot...and I'm getting this reported to me that he does not intend to conquer the country if they're not dead, he plans to...destroy it with a missile that has the power of two nuclear bombs?! I hope this is a joke!]
Loud: BECAUSE IF IT IS, THE JOKER IS LAUGHING.
[Cameraman: This isn't a joke, look at the White House!]
Toast: It got blood on it!
[(From below them, we see a huge crater in the area in front of the White House, with many people lying in it not moving.]
Pule: Armageddon broke out when Leonardo DiCaprio cancels his appearance.
Loud: HOPEFULLY BILL MAHER IS AMONG THE DEAD.
Toast: Dude, that would be nice.
[Bladder and the cameraman ae in shock]
Charity: (Bladder) Peter Jenning got the report before I do!
[until Bladder moves the camera away from the scene) Bladder: Get that camera away from there!]
Loud: YOU ARE USING THE WRONG BATTERIES!
[There are some horrors a camera was not meant to view.]
Charity: Like this movie for one.
[Like apparently what will happen if it's 4:00]
Pule: And his wife divorced him.
[and they're not dead! If any of you can get out of the city, leave now, it appears that report I received wasn't a joke, leave! And we should leave too, let's get out of here! This is Dan Bladder, signing off from Washington. (The helicopter leaves faster than it came.]
Loud: (Rex Pester) AND I NEVER WON AN EMMY!
[In back of the White House, the Histerians and many tens of citizens are there and okay) Woman: Well, you were right,]
Toast: The FBI shouldn't have recruit Sinbad.
[we are okay, but shouldn't we leaving here?! If that bomb strikes and we're not out of the city, we'll all be dead! Smartypants: I know,]
Loud: BUT LADY, THE BOMB ALREADY HAPPENED WITH THIS MOVIE.
[but there's no way to leave the city from here in 7 1/2 minutes. All we can do is pray and hope, and pray some mpore.]
Toast: Well, I prayed for the death of Gene Burrows.
Charity: He is dead.
Toast: Oh. Well, I prayed for the death of this movie!
[(Inside the spider, the good guys are running as fast as possible from the control room) Harry: According to those blueprints,]
Loud: THE DIRECTOR'S EDITING ROOM IS AROUND HERE.
[the missile room is at the far right of the spider, the very last room.]
Charity: Oh, well that sound obvious.
[We've got to get there and disarm it immediately! Miss Info: Do you even know how to disarm a bomb,]
Toast: Dude, I wanted him to disarm this movie!
[I certainly wouldn't know.]
Pule: Well, she's blond after all.
Others: Pule!
Pule: Oops.
Loud: SAVE FOR THE DUMB BLONDE JOKES FOR SAMMY, OKAY?!
[Harry: I'm not sure I do, but we have to find out. We have only 7 minutes, we can't let anything stop us! (Just then the head of Gene flies over them and stops in front of them,]
Pule: Except him.
[coiling like a snake. It then hits Harry's head and knocks him down. Miss Info then grabs it and tries to stop it from going near him, but is not succeeding. The head then lifts above the ground more, and still holding on it, Miss Info then finds herself above the ground too. The head then shakes and she lets go and falls. It then turns towards Loud and Charity.]
Loud: OH NO. PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GRAB YOU, THEN YOU GO ABOVE THE AIR, AND THEN I LET GO AND FALL! PLEASE NO!
[It goes towards Loud first and it starts to fly around and around him, wrapping it's coil around his neck lightly.]
Toast: The Brain That Wouldn't Die part duh.
[It then tightens it's grip, strangling him.]
Charity: Gene must be making Loud like Shatner.
Loud: MUST...GET...TO..ULTILITY...BELT.
Charity: I said Shatner, not West.
Loud: I AM DOING A COMBO, OKAY?
[Before he continues though, Harry rushes up]
Toast: You know, dude, Harry is voiced by a man named Rush.
Loud: SO?
Toast: Well, that is the reason for the rushes joke, right?
Loud: WELL...NO.
Toast: Nevermind.
[with a metal plate in his hands]
Pule: This is no time to eat.
[and drives it through the coil. The coil breaks apart and the head let's go of it's grip on Loud's neck and falls to the ground)]
Charity: (singing) It's Geney, it's Geney, he isn't no wonderful toy.
[Charity: Loud, are you all right, can you breathe?]
Loud: NO, BUT YOU CAN GIVE ME CPR. HEH, HEH, HEH.
(Charity blushes)
[Loud: Well, it's less pain than others I've suffered through today.]
Charity: What with the bullet in the back, being hurt emotionally, and goings on.
[Where did you find that plate Harry?]
Pule: In your mom's china.
Loud: D'OH.
[Harry: We're in the parts room,]
Toast: To your left, the Loud's Histerical Wish movie set.
[all around there are parts of devices, scrapped]
Loud: IDEAS.
[devices and future devices.]
Loud: FROM THE JETSONS SET.
[That was just one of the options I had to choose from. Miss Info: Someone grab that head before the body comes back!]
Pule: How can a wrestler intimidate Miss Info?
[(She moves to grab it, but a pairt of robot hands grab it first. It's the hands of the robot body,]
Toast: Give them a hand, people!
All: (giggled crazily)
[and they put Gene's head back into it's socket as if nothing happened.]
Charity: You mean this movie never happened.
[The body then walks towards them) Harry: Everyone, there are parts everywhere! Metal seems to be our only defense against him, get any part you can!]
Loud: BUT WHAT IF MY SPEAKING PART IS TAKEN?
[(Harry picks up a metal bar, swings it and hits Gene's head, forcing it backwards. When it turns around, it reveals that his right eye is gone,]
Charity: He has his eye on us.
[and replacing it is a red robotic one. He swings the bar again but Gee]
Toast: What, is this the third villain of the sudden?
[grabs it and they struggle for control. The head then stretches out again, attached to a new coil as good as new, and moves toward Harry, but is hit with another metal plate held by Miss Info.]
Pule: (Gene) Hey, those are my collective plates! They are going to be worth money some day!
[The head moves towards her and tries to hit her, moving very fast, but again and again she blocks his way with the plate and he hits it. Then, like he did with Loud, the head goes down and flies around her legs,]
Pule: Someone get the pest repellent.
[wrapping his coil around them. She then goes down from it) (The head then flies back above her and a small hand comes out of it's forehead and puts a pair of goggles on it's eyes.]
Toast: Dude, he gots goggles on his own?! Why didn't he used those if he got them all this time?!
[They then fire two gunshots at her head which she moves away from at the very last second. It then prepares to fire again and does, but the bullets hit another metal plate that is held by Loud above her head.]
Loud: YOU KNOW, IF GENE KEEP HITTING THOSE PLATES, HE IS GOING TO DOWNSIZE THE PRICE.
Pule: Vincent Price?
Loud: No...
[Charity has one too. Gene lets go of his grip on Miss Info and glies toward the kids. He fires shots at them but they block them all with the metal plates. Gene fires again and this time Loud swings his plate like a tennis racket,]
Charity: Yep, all that practicing tennis at home sure pays off, right dear?
Loud: DARN RIGHT IT DID.
(They kiss. What is this? The 50th time?)
[hitting the bullet which then fly back at the head and goes into it's forehead. Gene winces in pain, though not as much as a human would under the circustances,]
Toast: Well, he bit the bullet all right.
All: (laughing)
[and his head returns to it's socket. He then pulls the bullet out) Harry: Thanks you guys, you've given me time.]
Loud: HE ISN'T HERE!
[(He is holding a whole pile of parts) Take these and throw them, quickly! (The others grab all the parts they can from Harry's hands]
Pule: Just eat what you take!
[and throw them. However, Gene is still coming at them, the parts just seem to be taking off more of his human skin)]
Charity: So what are we looking at here? Another Judge Doom?
Toast: Nah, Doom is funnier.
[Loud: This doesn't seem to be working, but I've discovered a better approach, look! (He points to two ladders leading to another hallway above them to the left, and to the right)]
Charity: No one better do the Hippie, hippie shake, all right?
Others: Okay.
[Split up and grab more parts and climb! (They do so, grabbing parts everywhere. Gene looks at them all split up and he can't decide who to get first. He then decides on Loud and runs toward him. Once he gets near him, Loud throws another plate in his face. He stumbles a bit]
Pule: Geez, Gene fights like a girl.
Charity: If you were there, you wouldn't agree.
Toast: Yeah, Gene is one tough cookie.
Loud: TELL ME ABOUT IT.
[then recovers to see Loud carrying many parts like a football. With his other hand he climbs one of the ladders to the right. The others are climbing the ladders too. Loud is on the top of]
Loud: THE WORLD, MA!
[the ladder but before he goes on the hallway, again Gene's head glides in front of him)]
Toast: Whoa, is Gene good or what?
Others: Wrong.
[(With his free hand he gets another plate and uses it like before to stop the head from hitting him. But the head then goes below him and stops behind his head and hits him there,]
Loud: THAT WOULD HURT.
[he narrowly drops the palte in time to prevent himself from hitting it. He puts the parts down on the hall and uses his free hands to grab the head as it moves towards him again, but like it did with Miss Info,]
Toast: Dude, no more reminders, please.
[it moves higher off the ground and Loud is off it too. He's about to throw him onto the ground again but then stops.]
Charity: Why did he stop? Did he sees the World's Oldest Woman in her...
(All shuddered at the thought)
[Loud then lets go landing onto the hall. He sees that a small metal leg has gone through his back. His head goes back into his socket and he pulls it off) Charity: Hey Gene! I'll bet you're wondering who]
[did that, well, you're looking at her! Come and get me! (He walks ominously towards the ladder) Okay, now!! (She throws all the parts she has at Gene, and he stumbles. Harry then throws his parts and then Miss Info throws hers.]
Loud: WE GET THE IDEA. MOVE THE PLOT ALONG PLEASE.
Pule: What plot?
[Loud catches onto what's going on]
Charity: This movie, that's what's going on.
[and throws his. It's raining]
All: Men! Hallejuah, it's raining men!
[parts on Gene and he goes down to the floor and the parts cover him completely. The others come down) Loud: Nice going Charity,]
Toast: He almost got him dude.
[you must have used the old "throw the metal leg at him while the robot's distracted then when he comes over throw the parts at him" trick.]
Pule: Can we simplized it, please?
[Charity: Actually I think I'm the first to come with it, but we can discuss it later. Let's go quickly while he's down. (Back outside, an air raid siren is blowing all over the city.]
Pule: Gamera!
[Everyone is either trying in vain to leave by car, or like most people, running,]
Toast: Work, run, work harder, run harder, drink a lot, avoid healthy diets, do not apologize for the war...
Charity: Okay, relax, Toast.
[though it's hard because there are so many people. In the Ronald Reagan Airport, everyone is trashing the place trying to get to a plane,]
Loud: THE PLANE, BOSS! THE PLANE!
[and in more than a few planes people are storming inside demanding to be taken out of Waashington, but these planes are more than a bit full, It's like the apocalypse has come, and technically, for the city, it almost has, and it shows)]
Charity: Well, if it is a show. I give it the thumbs down.
[(Now we see the Histerians and Harry]
Toast: Great, back to the more important than everyone else characters.
[entering another room. It's largely deserted except for a missile at the left of the room, the very missile seen in the blueprints) Harry: There it is!]
Charity: He sees the camera.
[We have only 5 1/2 mintues, let's get to work! (They rush towards the missile) Loud: (Looking at the timer) Hmm, this timer doesn't seem to ahve any buttons on it or anything,]
Loud: I AM TRYING TO WIN BEN STEIN'S MONEY.
[so we can't press something and make it go off anytime other than 4 PM to buy us time. CHarity: Isn't there some soft of hatch that will reveal all the wires and such? Miss Info: Found it! (She opens a hatch at the rear end of the missile to reveal all the trademark wiring of it)]
Pule: D'oh! Never put something in a good movie in a bad one!
[Loud: So, how do we do this? We don't know if there's some specific wire to take out, and taking out all of them seems a bit risky. Miss Info: Why don't we just grab that shiny green container inside? (She points inside the missile to a small container in the center with a green light glowing.]
Charity: Oh, I can see how we can miss that.
[The container is connected to wires everywhere) Harry: That must be where he's storing the nuclear energy!]
Loud: IT MUST BE FROZEN BY NOW.
[Now we've got to take those wires off before we pull it off. Charity: What's that noise? (A noise like a chainsaw is heard outside the door.]
Pule: Oh great. Just when I thought this movie couldn't get any worse, Jason is in it.
[Just then the door breaks open and Gene comes in, his hands have been replaced this time with chainsaws) Gene: Step away from the missile.]
Toast: Or you will set off the missile car alarm.
[The only way that thing's not going to go off is if I tell it to,]
Loud: OH GREAT. A PLOT HOLE. COULDN'T YOU JUST TELL US YOU ARE MELDED WITH THE ROBO-SPIDER, GENE?!
[and the only way I'll do that is if I see your rotting corpses. Loud: Not if we pull out that nuclear container first! (He reaches inside the missile and stretches his arm to touch the container, but when he does he is shocked by electricity)]
Toast: Dude, this is something out of a South Park episode.
Pule: Yeah, after the April Fools episode.
Others: Huh?
[Gene: Like I said,]
Pule: (Gene) Bite me.
[I'm the only one that can stop it. Anyone else that touches it will be shocked by the electricity of those wires. Now would you like to surrender since your only other chance to stop it is gone? Harry: Well, I guess we'll just have to destroy the spider itself.]
Charity: Why didn't we do that to begin with, instead of going through the boring chases?
[From your diary and your blueprints, if that thing explodes in any other way than landing onto the city, it won't do any nuclear damage.]
Loud: EXCEPT TO OUR HAIR.
[Gene: Sadly true, I haven't found a way to have it cause a nuclear explosion in any other way than having the bomb strike the ground, but you can't destroy such a powerfully large, brilliant machine.]
Charity: (Gene) I just wax it.
[Not when it has tricks like this to stop you. (He pulls a lever nearby and the entire floor, except for the floor beneath Gene and the bomb, flips over,]
Toast: Dude, I like the floor to flip from under us.
Charity: Why?
Toast: So we can never see this movie again!
[and the good guys land in another room below) Loud: OW!!]
Pule: He landed on his keys.
[Where are we now? Miss Info: (Looking at the blueprints) We're in the second floor of the spider, at the bottom of it's stomach in other words.]
Pule: Eew! Why did she said that? That is so disgusting!
[Charity: Well we've got to get back up there...and also run! (We see the roof above them is now flipped halfway, and Gene jumps onto the floor. His lands go away once more and are now replaced by what appears to be metal vines)]
Loud: CABLE GUY!
[Harry: What are those supposed to do? (Pause and then he starts to back away) Um, I shouldn't have asked that because then you'll]
Toast: Kill him.
[show me, right? (Gene nods and the wires move like a whip and strike Harry,]
Charity: Hey! Knock it off!
Loud: GEEZ, STALIN. USING A CRAZY WHIP IN A MOVIE LIKE THIS. HAVE YOU HAVE NO DECENCY?!
[shocking him with electricity for a second before backing away. The others begin to run out of view) Gene: You can run, and you can try to hide,]
Toast: Dude, that isn't how the saying goes.
[but I know very nook and cranny of this place!]
Charity: So do we by watching this.
[(We see them hiding behind another console) The roles have indeed switches here. I am now the hero, trying to kill you and save Washington from destruction, and you four are the villains, who resistance to die is endangering millions of lives.]
Pule: So what are we? In the Evil Histeria! universe?
[And as you know, the heroes always win,]
Loud: EXCEPT IN MOVIES THAT AREN'T WORTH MENTIONING.
[and I'm the hero, so (he turns toward the console the foursome are hiding behind and walks right in front of them) prepare to die for your evil deeds, you villains.]
[(The metal wires swing at them and they run just in time. Gene stands perfectly still]
Loud: HE WANTS HIS PICTURE TAKEN.
[as the wires rush towards them. The wires eventually find themselves right behind the good guys, and try to touch them, but narrowly miss. However the left one finds it’s way towards Harry and shocks him. He falls. The wire then circles]
Charity: A want ad.
[above him, preparing to shock him again, but Loud grabs it by it’s metal coil and tries to push it back. The other wire then shows up and tries to shock Harry while Loud’s distracted, but Miss Info and Charity grab it by the coil too. Harry then joins Loud and grabs the other one)]
Toast: Dude, why can’t the coils just be like eels and shock them when they touch them?
[(They hold on to them for a second or two, then they dive below them, let go and run. The wires follow quickly. The good guys then notice another console nearby. As if they all have the same idea,]
Pule: All minds think alike. Uh, sort of.
[they run towards it.]
Pule: Moves toward the bug zapper, Mantis.
[The wires then stop in front of them and prepare to strike) Loud: Come on wires,]
Toast: (Loud) I wanna grab you while you failed more.
[come and get us! Although I don’t have a red cape\]
Loud: AND MY NAME ISN’T SUPERMAN.
[and you’re not a bull,]
Charity: Although Gene is full of bull.
[I still say toro! (The wires rush toward him, but then Loud opens a hatch behind him, pulls apart a few wires and dives out of the way.]
Toast: I give him a 10.
[The wires find themselves into the]
Loud: FUTURE.
All: I gotta fly like a eagle.
[hatch and before they move out, Loud closes the door on them,]
Pule: (Wires) Ow! Pop the trunk, pop the trunk!
[they can’t get out now. Sparks of electricity are heard, and the Histerians run away. The part of the wires not in the hatch drop to the ground, we now see Gene walk up with nothing onto where his hands should be. His hands then conviently reappear and his head sketches out, just as the console explodes from the wires crossing)]
Charity: This is Barb Wire.
All: (snickers)
[(We go back to our heroes,]
Charity: Already in progress.
[who are now running into another room) Miss Info: I’ll close that door so he]
Loud: GETS ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO TRY FOR US AND MISS.
[can’t get in. (Starts to close it) that’ll give us enough time to think of another]
Pule: Another script, I hope.
[(She’s interrupted as the head comes in through the barely open door. She look shocked, and then grins and quickly closes the door, the head’s coil is trapped onto the door again.]
All: (singing) He’s trapped in the door again.
[It tries to sketch towards her, but it can’t. The four then run away and then the robotic hand reappears from Gene’s forehead and put the goggles on him. He starts to fire at them, but they run to the left and the shots miss.]
Toast: Dude, I rather not get shots from the doctor!
[He shoots at them again and they run to the right. He shoots at them again and…well, you get the idea.]
Loud: NOT REALLY.
[Finally they go into another room and are out of view.]
Pule: And out of time for this week’s episode.
[Behind the door, Gene’s body finally comes up and forces the door open. The head goes back onto it’s socket and he walks away. Inside the next room, the Histerians look desperate)]
Toast: Hey, I got a question.
Loud: WHAT?
Toast: How come they only said Histerians? Harry isn’t one.
Charity: Well, Harry hangs out with us when he’s not working, so I guess that makes him a Histerian.
Pule: So Mike and the robots are ones?
Loud: I GUESS.
[Loud: We can’t keep getting lucky like this,]
Charity: Punk.
[we have to think of something! Harry: We have almost 4 minutes until that thing goes off, isn’t that any plan]
Loud: OR A PLOT.
[out there we can’t find and execute within that time? There has to be! Miss Info: Gasp, I’ve got it! Charity: You what?]
Charity: Don’t make me play that joke, Robert.
[Miss Info: I actually have got an idea, a good idea!]
Toast: But it is totally bogus, so forget it.
[I just looked over these blueprints and I’ve found a room which could serve us well!]
Pule: The McDonalds room?
[Follow me! (With no other choice, they follow her and she runs towards another ladder in the center of the room. Just then a laser blast whizzes by them and they see Gene. They run up the]
Pule: Phone line.
[ladder in a hurry as Gene walks to them. He then stretches his arms to the top of the ladder and grabs the ledges. His body then rises up to the top and he opens the door above him. He then climbs up to the surface and faces Miss Info, the first one up the ladder.]
Loud: AND THE FIRST ONE TO KICK HIS BUTT.
[His fingers turn into claws again and he tries to slash her hand, but she moves it away. He tries to slash her other hand, but she movies it away and puts her other hand back on the ladder.]
Charity: Pick the hand the coin is in.
[then she slides between his legs]
Toast: Dude! I rather she do not do that again!
[and is on the floor safely. With Gene distracted, the others climb into the room, which is the exact same room they started in.]
Toast: Oh no. The movie is going to go backwards now!
[They then rush towards Miss Info) Harry: What is this,]
Charity: A dope trip?
[we’re back where we started! Miss Info: Just follow me. (They run away and Gene follows quickly. He swings his claws at them but misses repeatedly, and when he slashes something it’s just their shirts and he doesn’t slash their flesh.]
Loud: AH, WE GOT MORE.
[Then turn turn]
Pule: Turn turm?
Loud: OBVIOUSLY ROBERT THOUGHT TURN TURN IS A VERB.
Charity: Bad idea.
[and heads towards another locked door) Miss Info: All right, everyone go into that room! (Harry pulls out his crowbar and forces a door in front of them open, but Gene is closing in.]
Charity: Not you, Gene!
[Through Harry’s P.O.V, we see Gene come closer and his claws are coming right at his face, but his view is then replaced by steel]
Loud: STEEL?! I HATED THAT MOVIE!
[as the steel door closes. He then quickly gets out several pieces of tape and uses them to tape the door shut.]
Pule: Too bad Harry used duct tape.
[Now the Histerians find themselves in a room with not as many consoles and devices as previous rooms, but is highlighted by a]
Toast: Marker, dude.
[console that is above the floor of another hallway above and is shaped like a log,]
Loud: NO REN & STIMPY REFERENCE PLEASE.
[another one is to the left) Harry: All right Miss Info, what’s your big plan, and tell us quietly.]
Toast: The censors are listening.
[Miss Info: Well, you see those consoles up there?]
Charity: How can we miss them?
[They’re kept above the ground by a rope and the left of it is connected to a metal plate by screws]
Pule: (chuckles nervously and whistles)
[and the plate is in turn connected to a bar)]
Loud: WE AREN’T GOING TO DRINK, MISS INFO.
[Charity: That’s strange,]
Charity: I have a better idea.
[I guess that rope must be here to keep the console from falling if it’s disconnected to the plate. (catching on) Oh, oh, that’s the whole point isn’t it?]
Toast: Hey! You’re giving away the plot, if any!
[Miss Info: Exactly! We unscrew those screws]
Pule: To make them better.
[and then the console swings down. If we do that to both consoles,]
Pule: We would be sued for that.
[they’ll collide. What we need to do is to find something to place in the center of where they would meet,]
Charity: At 12:30.
[and it would explode from being hit with two swinging consoles. That explosion would likely set up a chain]
Loud: CHAIN OF FOOLS!
[reaction where the fire would spread all over the machine, and become big enough that is would destroy the spider before that missile goes off, and we live happily ever after!]
Toast: Yeah, until Judge Doom appeared, that is.
[Harry: There’s just one problem.]
Toast: (Harry) What’s my motivation for this scene?