(Since I was having a bit of trouble writing my "Histeria/Rugrats" crossover, I thought I'd post it here and see if I could get JusSonic's help on it. I hope that's cool).
"Mercenary Impossible"
(In a dark unknown area a mysterious figure is talking to a number of other unknown figures).
Figure #1: Now I want you boys to pay attention to this tape, I think you'll learn from it. (He inserts a tape into a VCR nearby. On screen is a scene from the episode of "Rugrats" where they deal with an army of potties. Several other unseen scenes follow and then the tape is stopped) Now then, what have we learned from this video?
Figure #2: That those clips definetly don't show off my good side (a blast is fired and the figure, a large cup with "Mr. Tippy" written on his lid, is seen stuck to the wall). I think I'm cracked.
Figure # 3: So what else is new?
Mr. Tippy: (attempting to peel himself off the wall) Hey knock it off Catbot, why do you always make fun of me?
Catbot: Cause you're stupid.
Figure #1: Enough arguing! (he turns on the lights to reveal himself as the garden-clothes-wearing evil entity known as Shadow Man) That tape was of our old failures, it was designed to help you idiots figure out what you did wrong.
(One guy, a large punching-bag clown with springy arms, speaks up).
Boppo: No offense boss but I didn't learn anything.
Shadow Man: That doesn't surprise me.
Smaller robot clown: Yeah boss, besides it's the fault of all those stupid creatures you recruit.
Catbot: Mr. Fiend is right sir, those dumb creatures mess up our job.
Shadow Man: They mess up your job?! (he rewinds the tape) Take a look at this, now here was a brilliant scheme. Recruit an army of potties to destroy those blasted babies. And what happened? The leader of the potties got smashed by a lead pipe!
Catbot: In all fairness sir I was aiming for Phil, that stupid potty got in my way.
Shadow Man: But it's not only that job, oh no. There was the time I recruited that video game dragon, or when I summoned a real life "werewuff" on Halloween, or when I had Robosnail try to destroy them. And each one was a failure.
Mr. Tippy: I liked that dragon boss, except for when his little kids bit me.
Large purple gorilla: Tharg no like little dragons, they hurt.
Shadow Man: Well this time, there won't be any mistakes, this time I'll make sure those stupid kids will be destroyed.
Boppo: Ooh what are you going to use this time boss? And ogre, maybe some sort of oatmeal monster?
Dust Bunny: Oatmeal monster? That's just stupid.
Small stuffed beaver: Yeah that's dumb.
Boppo: Shut up Goober.
Shadow Man: No, no more creatures or monsters or inanimate objects. If I want this job done properly, I'll need a professional.
Catbot: A professional what boss?
Shadow Man: I'm talking about a mercenary you idiot! A human mercenary, the best money can buy.
Human sized red octopus: Are you sure about this sir? Your last human operatives didn't quite work out.
Human sized bee: Yeah sir, let us try again.
Shadow Man: I appreciate your concerns Ickypus and Stinger but my mind is made up. Now go search the Internet for the most reliable, high-class, and skilled mercenary you can find.
Catbot: At once oh evil one (he and the other minions leave).
Shadow Man: As long as those incompetents don't screw things up, those miserable brats will finally be out of my hair for good (laughs evilly).
Next up: Meet Lance Hardtack, professional mercenary and my own original character, plus what the heck are the Histerians doing?
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