(We begin this movie like we are going to watch an episode of Histeria. As soon as the opening credits are done, we see the title of the film: "Histeria: Back in Action." We fade out and fade in to Pearl Harbor of Hawaii. Father Time stood there with Big Fat Baby whose drooling as usual.)
Father Time: The year: December 7, 1941. The place: Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. It was here where the Japanese during World War II as a sneak attack. Because of this attack, many people here lost their lives. And now, it's time to have a reenaction of the attack on Pearl Harbor. (Loud Kiddington appears. As Father Time said the next few words, the words he said appears.) At this time, please put your volume set to its maximum level. (waits a few seconds, expecting the audience to turn up the volume. Then he spoke quietly) Thank you. And now, the reactment of the attack on Pearl Harbor.
(Camera is now on Loud Kiddington. He cracks his knuckles. He is about to yell when suddenly...)
Voice: Hold it!
Voice 2: Now what?
(We cut to another place, an office to be precise. But this isn't the cartoon world we seen on Histeria, but the real world like we the real people lived in. Executives are sitting around a table as usual. With them are the Histerians in their cartoon glory. They were in a middle of a script when they were interrupted...by a mad Froggo.)
Froggo: This has gone far enough!
Aka Pella: Oh, what's wrong this time, froggy?
Toast: Yeah, dude. We like in a middle of a script for our movie.
Froggo: I know we are, but looked at this. You guys are doing it again.
Executive: Doing what? I am not aware we are doing anything offense.
Father Time: Froggo, if you are upset about the Pearl Harbor reactment sketch, I understand.
Froggo: It's not that. It's Loud.
Father Time: (rolling his eyes in disbelief) Oh boy. Here we go again.
Froggo: I mean, look at this. Loud is in every sketch, while we the rest get once again get a few scenes. This is discrimination here!
Sammy Melman: Froggo, Froggo, Froggo. Loud boy here got many fans. Well, so we heard. You got fans too, you got a few scenes. How could Loud being in every sketch in this film be a problem?
Froggo: All of us should be in every sketch.
Charity Bazaar: I got to agreed with him. I am not happy. We should be in every sketch.
Loud Kiddington: You know what. I also agreed. Maybe I should leave the film and let everyone else have a shot at being in every sketch of this film.
Voice: I don't think so, kid.
(A woman got everyone's attention. She is wearing a office suit with a stern look. She looks a little bit like Gillian Anderson (because that who's she being played by). Chit Chatterson goes up to her)
Chit Chatterson: (shaking her hand) Well, hello there, cutey. Who might you be?
Woman: (coldly) Sally Hughim, maker of many famous films.
(As Chit let go of her hand, he sees that it's cold.)
Chit: Geez, they sure recycled some bits from that Looney Tunes film.
Sally: Well, who made it?
Lucky Bob: You made the Looney Tunes: Back in Action film now?
Head executive: Of course. It helps bring back the legacy of the Looney Tunes that we nearly lost with "Space Jam".
Head executive 2: Now that's a film worth seeing.
Chit: Oh come on! I liked "Space Jam"! I even sold their mechandise.
World's Oldest Woman: Only because it was filling up the storage bin. And besides, stop talking.
Chit: But...
(WOW stood up and grab Chit by the shirt and looks at him firmly.)
WOW: I said "stop talking."
Chit: (nervously) Your point is well seen.
(WOW nodded, let go of Chit, and the salesman of H! sat back down.)
Sally: Now, back to the subject, I don't see how we could make a Histeria! movie without Loud Kiddington.
Froggo: (sarcastic) Oh no. We couldn't have a film without Loud Kiddington. Why the whole world depends on his loud yelling.
Aka: A little sarcastic maybe, Froggy?
Sally: Look, from what I know, we are trying to bring back the legacy of Histeria despite from bad reviews that got it canceled. I mean, look at Looney Tunes. There hasn't been a new episode in years, and I rather not leave the subject at hand.
Froggo: What you should do, lady, is get me in every scene!
Sally: Sorry, more people like Loud than you, Kermit.
Miss Information: Froggo's real name is Kermit? Did anyone else knew that?
Pepper Mills: He is Kermit?! (laughing maniacally) I gotta get his autograph!
Sally: Settle down, little missy. That was a joke.
Froggo: It was a bad one! And don't forget, I got fans as well. Give them what they want.
Head executive: Merchandise? I knew I forgot something.
Chit: I will sell them right away!
Sammy: Chit, shut up!
Cho-Cho: At least he done something else.
Lucky Bob: You are correct, sir!
Froggo: Oh, I see where this is going. This is the case of you people supporting Loud instead of me.
Charity: Not true, Froggo. We support you.
Loud: Even me.
Froggo: You would just to get on the executives' good side! Well, they have a choice. Either he goes or I go!
Loud: (appearing behind Froggo) HELLO!
(Loud's voice nearly hurts Froggo's ears, but it made everyone else laughed.)
Head executive: (shrugging) Whoever not yelling.
Froggo: What?!
Sally: You heard them, kid. You are outta here.
Froggo: Wait, you can't just kicked me out!
Sally: Sorry, in the parody words of Jeff Probst, the executives had spoken.
(Sally goes over to Froggo, grab him, and begin to drag him out of the room.)
Froggo: Well, don't expect me back because I won't do it!
Father Time: Oh boy. We better go help him.
Loud: YEAH, I THINK I MAY HAVE MADE A MISTAKE IN GETTING RID OF HIM.
Lucky Bob: You are correct sir.
****
Next up:
We meet up with Scott Kelvin, animator slash stunt man, who Froggo accidentally got fired. More insanely on the way.
(We cut to inside the WB where stars (real or not) are eating and talking. We go to one table where Julius Caesar and Karl Marx are talking.)
Julius Caesar: Some of those H! fans criticize me for impersonating Frank Sinatra. I mean, ring-a-ring-ding, they aren't very liking me.
Karl Marx: You're telling me, my dear sir. The secret word is "trouble".
(The camera scrolls to another table where Batman and Robin are eating with the soon to be live action Batman, Christian Bale. Batman is disgusted.)
Batman: Another live-action film of my life. Did you ever seen the last one that had George Clooney starting me?! What kind of acting is that?! He made me looked like a Captain American wannabe!
Christian Bale: I know, that movie was never good.
Batman: Well, here's a warning to you, Bale. You messed me up in the next one and you will not sleep for the rest of your life!
Robin: Yeah! And I will show you why I am the leader of the Teen Tians, pal!
(The camera finally ends on Sally talking with the Histerians. As they talked, some stars of H! are eating while doing the stuff that made them funny to begin with.)
Sally: Well, now that Froggo is gone, we may have to changed the film in a new direction.
Toast: Uh, WestEast?
Sally: What?
Toast: Duh. You said new direction.
Sally: That isn't what I meant and you know it!
Miss Info: Ms. Hughim, you may not noticed, but the Kid Chorus is nothing without Froggo.
Charity: Yeah. I mean, sure that crooked-mouth boy, bow-haired girl, or whatever can sing, but kicking Froggo out of the group is like breaking off the Beatles.
Chit: (singing off key) It's been a hard day's night! And I been working like a dog...
Sally: Shut up, Chit!
Chit: Geez, where did they come out with this babe?
Lucky Bob: Uh, Pennsylvania?
Sally: Look, here is what I have in mind. Since it's likely we may have to replaced Froggo, I got the perfect idea. A love interest for the main star, Loud Kiddington.
Father Time: Loud already got a love interest. Her name is Charity Bazaar.
Charity: (blushing) Father Time. You promised.
Sally: Okay, maybe in real life, but on TV? Ha. I don't think so.
WOW: Fine, fine. We could have the love interest for Loud, but when's Froggo coming back?
Sally: He isn't!
Sammy: I have to agreed with my pals on this once. True, Froggo has a low graveling voice, he sometimes annoyed people by asking for things and somewhat, and telling boring facts like Father Time here...
Father Time: Thank you.
Sammy: But let's faced it. We need Froggo for this.
Loud: AND THIS IS ONE LOUD BOY SAYING WE GET FROGGO BACK. WE NEED HIM!
Other Histerians: Yeah!
Sally: Oh, for the love of Pete! And no one named Pete better show up!
Pepper: Geez, you are so uncoolie-cool!
Big Fat Baby: Gah goo, poopie poo!
(Cut to a house in the suburbs as a car drives in and parked in the driveway. We see that it's Scott as he got out.)
Voice: Well, hello young Scott Kelvin!
(Scott looked to see Emily Dickinson, author and Super Writer, waving in her usual way.)
Scott: Oh, hey Emily Dickinson. How's the day saving go?
William Shakespeare: (appearing) It was doing great! What fools these criminals be?
Dickinson: You say that every so often! Give it a rest, you old coot!
Shakespeare: I am not old! At least, not yet anyway.
(Their leader, Ernest Hemingway, steps in both of them.)
Ernest Hemingway: Knock it off! We are a team! We write and we fight crime! Not each other!
Dickinson: That makes so much sense it really doesn't!
(As the three Super Writers continue to argued, Scott shook his head and heads inside his house. Inside, the whole place is decorated with props and stuff from his brother's, Nick, movies and cartoons. He takes a long look then puts his stuff away. As he sighs a bit, he felt something tugged on his pants.)
Froggo: (V.O.) Excuse me?
Scott: What the...?
(He looks and is startled to see Froggo looking at him.)
Froggo: Do you got any fish oil and a slingshot I could bothered?
(Scott shouted and nearly fell to the floor. Froggo shrugs and looks around a bit.)
Froggo: Don't get up. I'd look around.
(Scott got annoyed and follows after Froggo. Froggo looks at vase that is on a piano and puts it down. Scott charges towards him, but Froggo got out of the way so Scott ended up knocking the vase off and it crashed onto the floor.)
Scott: That is a rare vase!
Froggo: Not anymore.
(Scott frowns as Froggo searches through paper and stuff he shouldn't peeked into, throwing stuff around.)
Scott: Hey, did I recall even inviting you in?
Froggo: Yes you did. At the studio remember?
Scott: If I recall, you got me fired! What kind of invitation is that?!
(Froggo goes over to a chair and sit down)
Froggo: Well, I thought you liked me. Besides, I thought I should find a place to hang until those guys at Warner Bros. let me...
(Froggo stops as he gasps. He picks up a newspaper, the headline entitled "Stupid hat kid destroys parts of studio." Froggo groans as he drops the paper.)
Froggo: Oh, who am I kidding? They would never let me back. I am a failure! A kid with a grovel voice who is never as popular as the loud kid.
(Scott grabs Froggo and looked at him.)
Scott: Look, will you do me a favor and get out of my brother's house?!
(Froggo slips free and messes with a nearby conjoining ball thingie. He pauses.)
Froggo: Wait, you lived with your brother?
Scott: (embarrassed) Well, yeah. Until I find a better place to lived.
Froggo: (sighs) Then I must be a failure. I am friends with a man who lives with his brother. Wait a minute...
(He sees the props from Nick's movies and cartoons. He looks wowed.)
Froggo: Your brother is Green Storms?!
Scott: No, my brother is the guy who plays him, Nick Kelvin. Come on, everyone knows Green Storms doesn't existed!
Froggo: Shows what you know. Cartoons can existed. You just got to believed. Wow, I can't believed I met a man whose brother voices Green Storms. I mean, look at this cool stuff!
(Froggo accidentally knocks down an award from a shelf. Scott frowns.)
Scott: That is the award he won for "Green Storms: Back To The Past's Future".
Froggo: Wow. I nearly forgot that he's a time traveler!
Scott: He only plays one.
Froggo: So this is how he does it, huh? What a neat trick! A time traveler playing a voice actor playing a time traveler!
Scott: What?! That's...look! (ringing is heard) Get out of my house while I answered my...
(Scott goes to answer whatever it is. To his surprise, it's coming from a watch.)
Scott: watch?
(Scott picks up the watch and looked puzzled. He presses a button on it. The watch is pointing at a huge clock in the room which then transforms into a big monitor. Both Scott and Froggo were both amazed and puzzled at this. Then, an image appeared on the monitor. It's a man in 70s like clothes which a smooth haircut. He looks distracted by something. He is played by Crispin Glover. He speaks to Scott as he seems to be fighting attackers.)
Man: Scott, are you there?!
Scott: (surprised) Nick? Is that you?
Nick Kelvin: Yeah, it's me. (dodging a punch) Listen, I am in a tight spot and I need your assistence.
Scott: What's wrong? The IRS bugging you again?
Froggo: (eating popcorn and drinking soda) Wow! He's making a live-action film! There's nothing to stop this guy!
Scott: (ignoring Froggo) Nick, where are you?
Nick: No time to explain. (punches a few of his attackers) Time itself is at stake! (grabs a weapon from a attacker and uses it to fight back) Use a time machine in the garage and go to Russia during the times of the Soviet Union!
Scott: Soviet Union? Time machine? What is this?
Nick: Never mind that! You are the world's only hope as there is no one else to turned to! Find Stripo Lovo and asked for the Time Stone! Hurry before they get it!
Scotto: Whose they?
(Nick grabs a bomb and throws it offscreen. It explodes and we can hear some screams.)
Nick: Brother, if I don't make it, there's something I got to tell you. I...
(But then the image disappears cutting off what he's going to say. The clock then transforms back into its normal state. Scott is thinking about what happened.)
Froggo: Wow. Nick's acting is cool!
Scott: Kid, that ain't no acting. My brother is in trouble. Someone is after him and this has something to do whatever the Time Stone is. It's up to me to save him!
(Scott gets up and leaves the room, followed by Froggo.)
Froggo: All right! Froggo and the security guard on a kick butt adventure!
Scott: Hey, when I say "up to me", I meant it!
(Scott kicks Froggo away and heads to a door that leads to a garage. Froggo got up and followed him in.)
Froggo: So we are finally using the Time-O 1,000,000 as seen in his cartoons! All right! This is an adventure!
Scott: Actually, no. It just a time sub.
(Sure enough, Scott heads towards a time sub. One of the "Beatles" song plays as he gets in. Froggo gets in as well.)
Froggo: Hey, now this is something I seen before! This is disguised as the Time-O 1,000,000!
Scott: Get out of here!!!!
(Scott grabs Froggo and throws him out. He then opens the garage door and drove out. As Scott drives down the driveway, Froggo reappears.)
Froggo: Yes, it's you and me! You don't mind me singing, right?
(With a frown, Scott punches Froggo in the face knocking him back. He then pushes a button that said "Begin Time Travel." Soon, the vehicle went pretty fast, sending papers that the Super Writers are writing flying and spreading ink all over them.)
Shakespeare: (shouting at the two) Driveway Hog!
Hemingway: William, that was Scott.
Shakespeare: Okay, Driveway Piggy.
(The time vehicle continues going fast until it disappears. It is now in the time stream.)
Next up: The Histerians and Sally are forced to go find Froggo to get him his job back and Scott Kelvin and Froggo's time traveling adventure!
(Cut to the WB studio, where several executives, including Sammy Melman, are seated).
Sammy: Okay guys, I really think you're going to like this. I've found us a replacement Froggo, one who works cheap and has no problem with Loud. Okay, "Froggo", come out here.
(Toast steps onto a nearby stage, dressed in Froggo's clothes).
Toast: (in gravelly voice) S'up dudes, I'm Froggo. Do you have...um, some stuff that I can use to make something...I guess. Am I done now, or what?
Sammy: What do you think?
Executive #1: He stinks.
Executive #2: I do like the way he impersonates Froggo's voice.
Toast (still gravelly) Who's impersonating? I totally strained my vocal cords belting out this narly jam yesterday.
Sammy: I guess you guys aren't going to be too happy with my other choice then.
(Pan to Lucky Bob, also dressed in Froggo clothes).
Lucky Bob: Heeeeere's Froggo!
Executive #1: Let's face it, we need Froggo back.
Executive #2: And we know who's to blame for this, don't we? Her (he points to Sally).
Sally: (shocked) Me!
Executive #1: You made us fire our best...um, what exactly did Froggo do?
Executive #2: It doesn't really matter. Sally, you're fired.
Sally: What? You can't fire me! In case you've forgotten, my movies have grossed $999 million for this company!
Executive #1: But not a billion.
Executive #2: A billion would be a lot better.
Sally: Okay. Obviously, I made a bad decision. But if you promise not to fire me, I'll go get Froggo back.
Executive #1: Deal. (Both execs leave. The rest of the Histeria gang pile in).
Sammy: Do you think they were impressed? I hope I get my promotion.
Aka: Forget about yo' stupid promotion for a minute. Right now we gotta find Froggo.
Pepper: Aah-hah!, but we don't even know where he is!
WOW: Actually, I saw him leave with that handsome young security guy he got fired. We should check his place.
Sally: Are you all coming along?
Loud: You bet lady. We stick together through thick and thin. Nothing can seperate the Histeria gang!
Aka: Looks like somebody's practicing for thier Oscar.
Toast: Hey, if that righteous Jamie Foxx can win one, anything's possible.
Cho-Cho: What happened to your voice?
Toast: I drank some water. But I probably need to hit the can before we go.
Pepper: Yuckosis!
Loud: And, if I know Froggo, he'll make 'time' to see us.
Next Time: Scott and Froggo wonder where in time they've ended up, and the Histerians and Sally, visit Scott's house.
{Cut to Scott's house as Sally goes to the front door, with the Histerians following}
Sally: Now just let me do all the talking, and this might go smoother.
Aka: Mmmhmm, it's gonna be real smooth hearing from the gal that got them fired in the first place. But I'm not the high powered exec who's smart all the time, what do I know?
Sally: I'll ignore that for now, fortunatly...{Knocks on the door, then it opens by itself}There, not so bad so far.
{Sally goes into the house and wanders around. She doesn't see anything for a while, then she hears some water running}
Sally: Oh, there we go. Froggo? Mr Scott? This is Sally Hughim, we need to talk again...
{Sally goes into the bathroom but no one is there. She then looks and sees a shadow through the shower curtain. The view now turns to black and white}
Sally: Froggo, you don't need to do the Psycho bit to "impress" me here...
{Just then, the shower curtain opens and we see Loud in there instead. He screams as the Psycho theme plays, moves around like he's being stabbed, and falls in the tub theatrically. After a while, he gets up and laughs as the view goes back to color}
Loud: OH, YOU HAVEN'T LIVED IF YOU HAVEN'T DONE THAT BIT!!
Sally:{Having fallen down from the shock and screams}Right....the people who do that haven't lived yet...I wonder why.{Frowns and gets up}Can we move on now?
Loud: Yeesh, sure sure...you're just lucky there aren't any other famous bathroom bits.
Sally: I'm sure I am....
{Sally goes back to walking through the halls- then sees posters for Nick Kelvin's movies}
Sally: Oh God...this is way too detailed to be stuff a devoted fan has.{Sees a photo of Scott and Nick}Oh....I fired Green Storms's brother. Oh, I might as well be dead right now.
Chit: Aw, I left my stuff for that bit back at the studio! It's not too late to go back, right?
Sally: Yes it is, especially since our biggest star will kill me there!{Pause}Okay, okay, it's not too late. I just hire them both back, and then maybe our best actor won't call for my head on a stick...it's that simple and can't be dragged out for a really long time at various locations, right?
Loud: HEY, WHAT IF I CAN GET A HOLD OF FROGGO FROM MY CELL?!
Sally:{Pause}You could have done that all this time? Then why did we need to come here?
Loud: You made this scene too heavy, I figured that was the perfect time for an ironic gag.
Sally:{Pause}Fine, treat the near end of my life as comedy, just get him here now!
Loud: I'M ON IT!!{Dials the phone}Hello, Froggo?
Froggo:{V.O}No, no, those dinos hate that!{Pause}Wait, Loud? How did you get through? And how did my cell get a signal from the Jurassic era?
Loud: Okay....confusing routine aside, you gotta get back. We can get you your job back!
Froggo:{V.O}And be subject to the abuse I've taken again? Not a chance, I'm in my own star turn now!{Pause}You're supposed to step away from the T-Rex's big toenails, what's wrong with you?
Scott:{V.O}Okay, you distract them while I fix the time machine next time!
Froggo:{V.O}On second thought, you're all good! Now then, we're a little busy saving the world in the new Green Storms adventure, so you can go back to your scene taking now.
Loud: What are you talking about, I haven't even heard that they have a director yet for the new Storms movie! And what's this running gag about dinosaurs?!
Froggo:{V.O}Whoops, we got it set up, I gotta go! Next time you see me, I'll be on the marquee with the Time Stone and Green Storms! Good bye, mere TV so called star!
Scott:{V.O}You mind opening the door for me a bit faster?!
Froggo:{V.O}Well sorry if a T Rex doesn't motivate you enough to run faster! To the right time we go!{He hangs up}
Sally: Well, are they coming or not?
Loud:{Pause}I....think that's inconclusive at the moment. Let's leave it at that....whatever that is.
(We pan away from Scott's home into space where a satellite is at, seeming to be listening in to the conversion. We now cut to Seattle to a company called TIME, the place responsible for stuff involving the space time continuum. In a secret room, a tough guy (played by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin) is listening into Loud and Froggo's conversion. He nods in thought then leaves the room. We now go to a conference room where it has a table filled with your usual dull executive guys. They are looking at a guy in geeky like clothes and a broad looking haircut. His name is the TIME Chairman (played by James Woods).)
TIME Chairman: Okay, folks. Here is the main deal. Our stuff involving time travelling and such are growing slow. And why's that?
TIME VP 1: Uh....because our workers require better pay?
TIME Chairman: (bored) Oh yeah. Typical. Why couldn't I hired better VPs? (snappish) You idiot! We can't have a bunch of kids working in factories! At least babies can do much better!
(The TIME VPs reaches for the buzzers, but the one for Child Labor got to his first.)
TIME VP 2: But they needed naps, sir!
TIME Chairman: That is why we need to put more caffeine in their bottles, dummy! Anyway, back to the subject at hand...
(Just then the Rough Guy came in and whistles in the Chairman's ear. He looks alarmed and nods.)
TIME Chairman: Ladies, gentlemen, and my group of illegal aliens...
Illegal aliens: Huh?
TIME Chairman: It has just been reported to me that two individuals are after the Time Stone. You must what this means do you?
TIME VP 3: Your plan is going to be interfered with?
TIME Chairman: (sarcastic) You are smart, aren't ya? (snappish) Of course, stupid! Now we need to get to that stone first. No kid with a weird voice or that agent's pathetic loser of a brother can stopped us now! Nobody!
(The Time Chairman laughs madly. The other VPSs laughs along but then the Chairman stops and yelled)
TIME Chairman: Hey, hey, hey! (the VPs stops laughing) Only I can do the evil laughter! Geez louise, where do I get these guys?
{Cut back to the time sub as it flys through the time stream, and we see Froggo and Scott sitting in it}
Froggo: You're pulling my chain here...
Scott: No, I have my moments of being serious, unlike you guys, and this is one of them. You think it's that unlikely that I could be a stunt double and a security guard all at once?
Froggo: It might be more implausible, actually.
Scott: You go back and look at episodes of Home Improvement, I'm in there way longer than Tim Allen was! The big baby wouldn't even go near power tools, not even for extra pay! Of course it's not like my pay improved after I bailed him out time and again...then again, it's not like those power tools were a piece of cake. Still, at least I didn't go into the fetal position, unlike some people that went on to be Disney's slave.
Froggo: Hey look, I see a light! We can end this bit of lame spoofing and self parody now!
Scott: Spoofing? I don't get it.
Froggo: Trust me, it's only funnier if you don't.
{The machine goes through the light and lands in an area covered in snow, and with grey skies all around}
Froggo: Either this is Soviet Russia, or some kind of global warming fantasy.
Scott:{Looks at the sub}It says we're in Russia all right...now I guess all we gotta do is find this Strip Lovo person and get the stone.
Froggo: All right, a couple of well timed bits and I'll have my- I mean, our keys to the top in no time!
Scott:{Leaving the sub with Froggo}Like asking this person for a barrel of hammers and tube socks ever did anything but annoy people?
Froggo: Hey, if it was such a lame bit, it wouldn't be a recurring part of a big time TV show, so there.
Scott: You probably give too much credit to people that also made baby poop as a recurring gag.
Froggo: Like I ordered the writers to pander to the baby poop loving demographics....or like anyone other than execs would really like putting that stuff on a set day after day with hundreds of people around.
Scott: Point taken with a bit of nausea...{They head off}
{Cut to the Kremlin where Joseph Stalin himself is in}
Stalin: Ugh, after getting through the daily 500 purges in an afternoon, the rest of day is so boring! That's it, starting tomorrow I do 1500 purges a day to kill more time! Now that's using time wisely!
TIME Chairman:{V.O}That's as good a segway as I'm taking today.
{Stalin gets out a small phone where the TIME Chairman and Rough Guy are seen on a monitor}
Stalin: My chairman! What brings you to calling my time, sir?
TIME Chairman: Oh, not much, just wanted to check on you and how you were doing, what kinda new executions you were making, tell you there are two time travelers coming for the stone, you know, the usual boring details.
Stalin:{Pause}That third thing sounded serious, actually.
TIME Chairman: Oh, that's right, that's kinda cause it is! But no big deal that some reject cartoon star and the loser brother of Green Storms has come looking for Strip Lovo, right?
Stalin: I would greatly disagree with that, sir!
TIME Chairman: Good! Now that we're on the same page, you mind taking the time to "Trotsky" over and destroy them before they find her and get closer to the Stone?
Stalin: I resent the Trotsky comparison, but everything else is a-ok! Finally I get to do some purging with my own hands, it really puts a personal touch to murder!
TIME Chairman: Just call back when that personal touch is the last thing they ever feel, okay?
Stalin: Gladly, chairman!{Hangs up}Whoever works for me that I haven't sent to Siberia yet, clear my schedule!{Pause, no one answers}Good, that cuts out the middleman right there. Now, to get to where I know they'll be going and stop them from purging the Stone from us!
Sally: Look, I need to know. My bosses are breathing down my neck.
Toast: Funny. I don't see them near your neck.
Sally: That's a figure of speech! Loud, you were on the cell with Froggo? Where is he and is he with Scott?
Loud: Well, this is going to sound odd, but I'd seem to have reach him in the Jurassic Era.
Sally: (pause) Okay, now you failed in your attempt to make me laugh. Where is he?
Loud: No, seriously. I did reach him there. That brother you got fired is with him dealing with dinosaurs.
Sally: Okay, this is crazy. Dinosaurs have been extinct for years! How in blazes could they be dealing with them?!
Father Time: Unless they travelled in time.
Pepper: (laughing maniacally) Wow! That is so coolie cool! They are travelling through time like Green Storms did! (scoffs) How come they didn't invite me?!
Cho-Cho: Bad luck?
Lucky Bob: Yes now!
Loud: Froggo mentioned something called a Time Stone. Anyone got any clues what that is?
Miss Info: I'm stumped and this is the first time I couldn't get that wrong!
Sally: Okay. Suppose for the fact that they did travelling in time? Where in history are they?
Toast: Dude, let's check out Green Storms's garage! I bet he has the Time-O 1,000,000 in there!
(The Histerians goes in there)
Sally: (following) That's impossible! That time travelling device does not even...
(She stops when she enters the garage and sees a huge time machine device in the garage.)
World's Oldest Woman: You were saying?
Sally: Goodness. I caught the stupidity from Melman.
Sammy: Yeah, lucky me.
Toast: I called dibs on the driving's seat!
Charity: Wait for me!
Sally: Hey, get back here!
(The Histerians run and got into the Time-O 1,000,000. Sally groans as she got in herself.)
Sally: You don't even know how to work this thing!
Toast: Uh, I think you pushed this button here...
(Toast pushes a button and suddenly the time machine begins to be activated)
Time-O 1,000,000: Welcome! Make your destination!
Sally: (mumbling) I don't believed this.
Aka: We need to find Froggy and Green Storms's brother, homie!
Time-O 1,000,000: Now searching time for Froggy and Green Storms's brother, homie.
Father Time: Literal device, isn't it?
Time-O 1,000,000: Froggy and Green Storms's brother found. Destination: the Soviet Union. Please sit back as we are about to blast off.
Sally: We are about to what?!
(Suddenly the Time-O 1,000,000 blasts out of the garage and soon ended up going fast. Soon it disappears, going right into the time stream like the time sub before.)
{Cut back to Russia as Scott and Froggo keep trudging through the snow}
Scott: So, it appears we should have stopped at a coat store before traveling to 1920's Russia, nice to know that now.
Froggo: Relax, we filmed lots of stuff here, it's not so bad when you distract yourself by annoying Lenin or Stalin or Eisenstein.
Scott: But we're not here to annoy Russian Commies, are we?
Froggo: We could get our way into Trotsky's house, get warm and annoy him at the same time! Win win!
Scott: I hope you remember my brother's in danger, and this place is our only way to find him!{Pause}But of course, you just want a bigger part on your show, so go with that for motivation. As long as it gets results and doesn't drive me too crazy, that's fine by me.
Froggo: Right, right, sorry. Now we just need a barrel of jellybeans and a pile of wood, and we're all set!
Scott:{Groans}Of course we are....where are we supposed to go to find this person, anyway?
Voice: Not too much farther, actually.
Froggo:{To Scott}Now I know you couldn't disguise your voice like that, so that means...
{The two look over to see an attractive, and 40'ish, woman come into view}
Woman:{Voiced by Demi Moore}So this is the younger brother, eh?
Scott: So...I guess that hint means you're Strip Lovo, right?
Strip: Just about.{Looks at Froggo}And you brought a younger friend, too. Younger people are quite interesting in many, many ways...
Froggo: Finally, someone who gets it! Um, if you're referring to the it about me being interesting.
Scott: If you know my brother, then you must know why I'm here. Where's this Time Stone he went to so much trouble for?
Strip: Stone? What stone do you mean, exactly?
Scott: I just said it was the Time Stone, I'm sure you could hear me okay.
Froggo: I don't have to ask for...things to get it out of you, do I?
Strip: No, no, it won't be nessecary...but it's not safe to do it here. Follow me to the Kremlin, we can do this there.
Scott: So...it's safer at the home of one of the worst dictators of all time than it is in here?
Froggo: That's my old big buddy you're talking about! I'm sure he'll be too busy with purge stuff to notice us sneaking around....seriously, he's really really into that.
Scott: Yet you dumbed that down to make him look like a sitcom star, real sensitive stuff there.
Froggo: Hey, we put the disclaimer about his bad stuff in at the start of that sketch, that's better than nothing.
Strip: Let us save this bickering for when we get inside. Then I can tell you what you need to know about....it.
Froggo: I thought we were gonna get the stone, not learn about "it" Aren't I a little old for the birds and bees talk...I don't know about him, though.
Scott: You heard the lady, off we go to completly drop the subject!
{Cut to later on at the Kremlin, where Russian soldiers and famous Soviet figures from past H! episodes are talking and standing around}
Sergi Eisenstein: Then she made me actually pay all those rubels! I am telling you, it was not worth getting paid the 10 times worth of rubels to do that bit for that, and I mean it!
Lenin: At least the peppy girl didn't mistake you for some kind of roach!
Karl Marx: You check into a motel for that, pal?
Lenin: Oh, roach motel joke, very timely! If you didn't found the ideology that created the system we live off of like kings, you would get it for that one!
Trotsky: They never thought I was special enough to annoy...
Eisenstein: Remember your luck about that and I mean it! Now consider it remembered!
{Cut to Stalin's office as he looks at some monitors and sees Froggo, Scott, and Strip enter the Kremlin}
Stalin: TIME Chairman's special technology that he sent works great, for something that won't exists for another 50 years!{To KGB agents that are standing nearby}You get those exiles to be out of here and find out what they know about the Stone! Go, destroy the weakling brother, the aging star spy, and my ex little friend!
{Cut to Scott, Froggo, and Strip entering a room}
Scott: So can we get to what you know now? What was my brother doing?
Froggo: Other than kicking fanny for people who paid 10 bucks a pop to see it?
Strip: As you may now know, he didn't just kick fannys so people could pay studios to see it...he kicked fannys so people could stay alive to see him kick movie fannys.{Pause}In English, he was a real life spy who's cover was a spy actor.
Froggo: Almost like how us Histerians are heroes who use TV stardom as a cover!
Strip: Kinda close...I guess.
Scott: So if he's a real life hero...then why did he ask for my help? What went wrong?
Strip: He stumbled onto something real big...something that could destroy the fabric of time and life itself if he failed. And since he failed, now you'll be blamed for ruining time and life if you fail too.
Scott: Oh, sounds like no pressure at all, if you put it that way!
Froggo: So where's the stone that's gonna redeem my failure, and spare him from being more of a failure?
Strip: That's a more tricky thing to get into...hold on a second.
{Strip goes and opens a closet to reveal a few KGB men here. She quickly kicks them a few times and knocks them out}
Strip: Now then...oh wait, hold on another second.{She goes to another closer door and tosses out the KGB people inside there}There, that should be the last place they can hide.
Stalin:{V.O}Oh, to purge with this! Let's just go in and blast them!
{Stalin and more KGB people charge inside the room}
Froggo: Oh....this isn't the "My Buddy Stalin" reunion I had in mind.{Pause}Hey Dimitri.
KGB man: Hey Froggo. Can you die quickly for beloved dictator now?
Scott: Don't answer that! But answer if you're the one who has my brother, though!
Stalin: My dark master will not let me answer that before your state sanctioned execution!{The KGB men advance}
Scott: Probably should have specified I didn't want that kinda answer....
Stalin: Could but didn't, so get to being executed!
(Strip jumps up into the air and kicks the KGB men down a bit. He then knees one in the 'yahoos' and throws the other one in Stalin.)
Stalin: Now I'm mad!
Strip: Here, take this!
(Strip hands Scott some sort of card.)
Scott: What am I supposed to do with this?
Strip: Simple. It is needed in the search for the Time Stone. Now get out of here!
Froggo: Don't need to tell us twice!
(Scott and Froggo run out of the room. The KGB Agents got up once more, only for Strip to slam them onto the floor once more. Outside, Scott and Froggo begins to try to make their escape.)
Froggo: How does it feel, Mr. Kevin?
Scott: Like I'm the Soviet's most wanted! Come on, let's get outta here while the getting's good.
Igor: (appearing) Sorry, but you are under arrest.
Scott: (annoyed) How do you two get by Strip?
Gregori: Lucky guess! Now hand that card over!
(Scott quickly punches Gregori many times and proceeds in kicking him upwards. Climbing up a ladder nearby, he got to another floor only to be confronted by Igor who punched him into the wall.)
Froggo: Hit him! Bite his ear off!
Scott: You try fighting him then!
(Grabbing a glass cup nearby, he smashes it over Igor's head dazing the KGB agent. Scott and Froggo runs over only to block by Gregori.)
Gregori: Hand over the...
(Scott punches Gregori many times. Igor tries to grab Scott from behind by Froggo appears.)
Froggo: Excuse me, but I think I see someone plotting against Stalin over there.
Igor: Hey, who dares to plot against our Soviet Union comrade leader?!
(Stalin on the floor growls as he takes out a bazooka.)
Stalin: At least what I used on Trotsky is still good. Fire!
(Stalin fires at Scott and Froggo, the blast knocks them and KGB agents off the floor they are on and onto the floor below. Scott got up and search himself)
Scott: Where's the card?!
Froggo: (pointing) There it is.
(The card is on the floor right between Scott and Stalin. Scott glares at the card and runs to it. Stalin jumps for it but then an iron curtain came out of nowhere causing the dictator to rammed into it, nearly knocking him out. Scott, confused, takes the card)
Scott: What happened?
Froggo: Now that's an iron curtain.
(Stalin tries to get up but Scott punches him in the head, knocking him to the floor.)
Scott: Take that, Frank-N-Furter! Now let's get outta of this dump!
Froggo: So our heroes made a daring escape outta danger!
(Scott and Froggo makes a run to the exit as Stalin and his KGB agents recovered.)
{Cut to outside of the Kremlin, where we suddenly see the time machine appear}
Loud: WOW, RUSSIA! STILL THE SAME DUMP OF GROUCHES AS ALWAYS!!
Sally: Yeah, that would help us get the Russian demographic if we were filming this.
Aka:{Pause}I won't say nothing if none of y'all will.
Sally: What is there to say? We're backwards in time and nowhere closer to finding our ex employees!
{Just then Scott and Froggo come out}
Froggo: We lost everyone!{Sees the time machine}Wait, that's not KGB technology...
Loud: WELCOME BACK, EX CO STAR!
Froggo:{Pause}You've got to be kidding- gah, I mean, you can't be serious! Ha, stopped you from making a pun, I gotcha this time!
Scott: You're worried about puns when KGB men are chasing us?!
Froggo: It's a gift, I guess.
Sally: What KGB people, what is all this?
{The KGB men now come out, with Stalin following them}
Stalin:{With a bazooka}The loud yell led us right to them, now blast!
Chit: Agh, Joseph Stalin!
Stalin: My ex agent who got me in exercise show?!{Pause}I blast extra hard, no one get near my blasting except him and heroes, now now now!!!
Charity: We're outta here!
{The Histerians and Sally get out of the machine, and Stalin blasts it right afterwards}
Sally: Actually....now that our "time machine" is gone, we're stranded here! And in a time without a major corporation that owns a movie studio in sight!
Scott: Wait, we left behind our time sub, we can leave there!
Aka: And how we getting past Joe and his big guns to do that?{Stalin and his men arm their weapons}
{Just then, a horse comes by pulling a large carriage}
Miss Info: Sounds like a great answer to me!
Sally: That only happens in movies!
Scott: I like the plot twist of this one then, let's move it!{The group gets into the carriage, then Loud beats Froggo to getting on the horse}
Loud: YA, YA!!{The horse goes off and Froggo barely gets in the carriage on time}
Stalin: Well, now isn't this big setback?!{Just then, another horse with a carriage rides out}Nice way to balance setback, then!{Stalin gets on the horse and the KGB gets in the carriage and they go off. Then we see Trotsky and Lenin come out when they leave}
Lenin: Where's the horse that was going to pick me up?
Trotsky: I wanted to ask that about my horse first, you always take credit from me for everything!
Lenin: You knew what you were getting into when we overthrew government, pal!
{Cut to the Histerians riding through the area}
Froggo: I could guide horses through stuff pretty good too.
Scott: Maybe it wouldn't be the best time to test that unproven theory when our lives could end.
Froggo: Oh, that's the easiest answer to that in the book, man.{Shots are fired that narrowly miss the carriage}
Chit: Gah, anyone got an answer for my former client chasing us?!{We see Stalin's horse and carriage closing in}
Stalin: Pull over and you get quickest firing squad assigned to you!
Loud: NO WAY, GROUCHSKY!!
Stalin: Oh, that does it! Get special weapons out now!
{The Russians get out every kind of gun and laser in the book and start shooting, but miss as the chase goes on}
Scott: We can't count on these professional killers missing every single shot for much longer!
Sally: I'm not giving them executive studio position to buy them off! Although their bloodlust would fit right in with the other board members.
Loud: QUICK, THROW STUFF AT THEM TO DISTRACT THEM!!
Sammy:{Before the kids throw him away}I don't think he meant me as that stuff, okay?!!
Loud: Well....NAH, MAYBE LATER!!
Froggo: Wait, I got a spare jar of pencils in here! I'll have to give up the thing that they'd make, but I'm heroic enough to live with that!
{He gets out a jar of pencils, opens it, and throws them at the Russians. The points of the pencils all hit them}
Stalin: Yow! Those points didn't cut me, but they hurt!
KGB Man: Ew, I got pencil lead on my skin, get it off, get it off!
KGB Man 2: Yuck, now I have to take bath three days ahead of schedule!
{The Histerians gain ground on them, then they see the time sub}
Loud: EVERYONE GET OFF, THEN GET IN!!{They jump off the horse and carriage and run to the sub}
Stalin: That's it, time for biggest big weapon!! Get out dynamite!{The KGB men get lit sticks of dynamite}Now throw it!!
KGB Man: But....that sort of thing isn't done anymore.
Stalin: I order it back in style, then!
KGB Man 2: But if we miss, all kinds of innocent wildlife will be destroyed....
Stalin:{Seeing the sub driving away}Throw it!
KGB Man 3: But the fumes will further contribute to global warming....
Stalin:{Seeing the fuse getting smaller}Throw it already!!
KGB Man 4: But what kind of an example will it set for our children?{The dynamite explodes in the Russians faces}
Stalin: Ugh....last time I ask for tapes of 21'st century politically correct TV shows for men....
{Cut to the sub driving further and further away}
Froggo: Ha, we beat them up good, and my idea helped big time!
Sally: Great, now we can celebrate by going back to a normal time, and you taking your jobs back so I don't get canned!
Scott:{Driving}No dice m'amm, we gotta save my brother and do it with this card!{Holds out the card}somehow...
Sally: We're doing what instead of going back to civilization?
Loud: We're driving off a cliff.
Scott:{Not looking where he's driving}No, I thought we were starting out a nice little arguement.
Loud: And you're doing that WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING US OFF A CLIFF!!!{We see the sub go off a cliff}
Scott: Oh...nice to know.
{The sub now starts to fall down the cliff as the Histerians all scream in panic}
Froggo:{On a phone}Hello?! Sell all my Warner Brothers stock! I have a hot tip that the entire cast is about to die!!
Loud: NOT YET, WE AREN'T!!{Loud takes the controls and hits the brakes really hard- then the sub stops about 5 feet above the ground}
Father Time: What a close call that was! Now we can hop out of here unharmed!
Sally: Wait, that sort of cartoony thing does not happen in real life! It defies every law of physics on Earth!{And on that cue, the sub crashes to the ground, knocking everyone and everything around inside}
(Later, the Histerians managed to get whatever they can from the time sub as they camped out for the night. The Histerian kids are cooking marshmallows over the fire)
Toast: Anyone for marshmallow?
Pepper: Sure! I'm game!
Lucky Bob: (burn) Hiyo!
(Sally sees Scott looking at the card Strip has given him)
Sally: So you think that card can help you find your brother?
Scott: Hey, I don't think so. I know so.
Sally: (scoffs) Right. Like that would work.
Father Time: Well Stalin and his boys went through a lot of trouble trying to get that card from what Scott and Froggo told us.
Sammy: Any chance we can make money with it?
Scott: Not with my chance to find my brother, you aren't!
(Sally sighs as she lies down a bit)
Sally: Reminds me of the time I first saw your brother in the films. He was so great.
Scott: Yeah. My family has to have some talent in it, you know? (pauses) You got nice hair.
Miss Info: Now no woman would buy that.
Sally: Hmmm?
Scott: Just saying good night.
Miss Info: See?
(Scott sighs as he went to sleep. The camera goes over to the H! kids.)
Loud: It's true, Froggo. The Executives at the lot like you. You were their best...well, I don't know what you're best at.
Froggo: (scoff) They only like me because of me asking for stuff and in those Russian Revolution shorts. Oh sure, one moment I get a bit of spotlight. But then, it's back to you appearing in every sketch! You yelled a lot and they think it's funny!
Cho-Cho: Now not everyone thinks so!
Charity: Sure. You are the one that helps keeps the H! chorus together.
Froggo: I wasn't in the singing group all the time. You either have that Bow-Haired Girl, Kip Ling, Pule, that Crooked-Mouth Boy, or whoever you have replacing me.
Pepper: Wow. He got a point.
Loud: And you're on fire.
Froggo: Precisely! I'm...
Loud: NO, SERIOUSLY! YOU'RE ON FIRE!
(Froggo turns and sees that his clothes has caught on fire. He yelps as he runs around putting it out. Some of the kids chuckled a bit. When Froggo came back, he frowns resulting in them to stop laughing.)
Froggo: (sighs) Aw, why am I talking to you for, Loud? All you have to do is yell and say 'see it, see it, don't see it, don't see it, and they loved you. All I wanted to do is prove how good I am. Is that too much to ask for?
Charity: Gee, Loud. We didn't think you would feel that way.
Froggo: (sighs) Yeah. I know.
(Froggo turns over to get some sleep as some of the kids feel bad for him as we fade out.)
{Cut to the next morning as the gang is trudging through the snows of Russia}
Loud: Gee, it would sure be nice if WAL MART gave us lots of WAL MART stuff for saying WAL MART!!! so many times.
Father Time: It's 1920's Russia, Wal Mart hasn't been invented yet.
Loud: GREAT, THE EXEC SPREAD THE LOGIC GENE TO YOU GUYS AT THE WORST TIME!! NOW HOW ARE WE GETTING OUTTA HERE?!
Scott: No wait....wait I see it!{He points to something that looks like a Wal Mart}Low savings, here we come!
{He runs over to the Wal Mart, then runs into the wall because he can't stop. After that, we see the building change from a Wal Mart to an unfinished gulag}
Scott: Oh....you can see mirages in blinding cold just like you can in heat....what do you know?
WOW: Well, isn't this a peachy way to finally go out, imagining low low prices?
Scott: We're not gonna die....this card I have has to fit somewhere in this time period...we just gotta see what it is.
Froggo: So the stunt double is the leader...wow, that makes my role as a sidekick even bigger now!
Sally: I'm glad bleak situations haven't damped your spirits.
Charity: It's a gift of his.{They keep walking}
{Cut back to the Chairman's headquarters as he is talking with Stalin on a video phone}
TIME Chairman: So now the red hat kid's friends are with him, they have the card, and you didn't dispose of them....have I got it right?
Stalin: It's not my fault, I wanted dynamite to go boom! We'll get them again once we have our killing spirit back!
TIME Chairman: Don't bother! Just for that, I'm cutting off your allowance of 21'st century technology!
Stalin:{Gasps}No, not that, my chairman! I was so looking forward to chemical weapons and machine gun shipments and the Season 2 DVD of Lost!! You can't punish me by not letting me know what's in that hatch!!
TIME Chairman: You snooze and fail to purge, you lose, bye!
Stalin: Hey, purge is my word, you can't have it!{He is hung up on}
TIME Chairman:{To Rough Guy and his board}The stakes have grown too high for my taste, and my taste buds need cleaning immediatly!
Board Member: I thought you had your lunch break during our one minute break time.
TIME Chairman: I meant that as a metaphor for my need to eliminate those meddling TV people! Don't you know good evil villain metaphor speak anymore?!
Board Member: Did we discuss that in the minutes of our last meeting, I forget.
TIME Chairman: Enough! We need a new plan, and we need it fast! And I know the right way to get one...
(Somewhere in the desert, a group of Monguls on horses ride through. Genghis Kahn, their leader, is in front of them.)
Genghis Kahn: Hurry up, my Mongul horde! We may don't exist in this time, but the advantage the Chairman has given us will help us raid all of Russia!
(Suddenly a cell noise is heard. Genghis slows his troops down and answers it.)
Genghis: Yes?
TIME Chairman: (V.O.) Genghis, Stalin has failed. The Histerians, the agent's brother, and a woman is in the same desert as you are.
Genghis: I see. I have been waiting a chance to get two of them for disturbing my relaxation for a while now. What shall I do?
TIME Chairman: (V.O.) Simple. Tear them apart. But make sure you get the card!
(The chairman hung up. Genghis puts the cell phone away with an eager phone.)
Genghis: Time to saddle up! We got ourselves some time travellers to terrorized!
(Genghis yelled as he and his men charged once more. Back at TIME, the TIME Chairman hung up the phone just as the Rough Guy came in bringing in Nick in a cage.)
TIME Chairman: Well, I hope you are relaxing because you will have a reason to worried once Genghis takes care of your brother and his friends.
Nick: Ha! My brother has outwitted one of your agents! He will whooped the Mongul and your evil butts!
TIME Chairman: I would be scared, but then I am not in a cage! Now then, you're going to reveal what I needed to know. Rough Guy? The feather.
(Rough Guy takes out a feather. Nick gulps as he looks nervous. Back in the desert in Soviet Union Russia, the group kept on going on.)
Sally: Oh goodness. This place is unbearable. And why is there a desert in a cold place?
Aka: Who knows and who cares?
Charity: Finding any luck, Mr. Kevin?
Scott: Quiet down so I can concentrate. And Loud, stop yelling, okay?
Loud: I wasn't yelling.
Father Time: Come on. We hear yelling. You're the only one here who could yelled.
Charity: Uh, he wasn't yelling. In fact, he didn't spoke yet.
Scott: Then in the blazes was yelling?!
(The group hears some yelling and turns to see the Monguls on horses. Genghis smirks as he saw them.)
Cho-Cho: Hey, it's Genghis. Perhaps he would want Waffle.
Lucky Bob: (takes out Waffle) Heeerrrre's Waffle!
Sally: (disgusted) I don't even want to know how long you got that in there.
{The group starts running as the Mongul horses go after them}
WOW: I'm not outrunning those things without breaking my 234'th new hip!
Scott: We got any tricks to get past these guys?
Lucky Bob: Here's....pick!
{We see him put a finger near his nose, then cut to Genghis closing in}
Genghis: Here's some long awaited Western China justice, pilgrum!
{We then see Lucky Bob flick whatever he picked towards the horses[though fortunatly we don't see the....thing itself]With that, half the horses back away before they step on it, and wind up throwing the Monguls off and to the ground}
Genghis: What the- YAH!!{He's thrown off}
Horse: I have standards on what I step on in this job!{Pause}And where are those chips I wanted?!
Genghis: Yargh!! That does it, giddiup outta here! Monguls, go into mob mode, ho!
{The Monguls group together and run after the Histerians as a big mob group, a la the Vikings}
Aka: I don't think any more nose gold will stop them, and I'm not willing to find out!
Lucky Bob: Here's....pot!{He gets a pot out and throws it, but one of the Mongels chops it with a sword}Uh oh now!
Sally: Great, we're gonna get chopped to bits, and we're probably gonna run into another one of those big walls before that!
Loud: BIG WALLS?!
{We see them running towards what looks to be some kind of less tall version of the Berlin Wall}
Miss Info:{Seeing a guard}What's this wall doing in the middle of nowhere?
Guard: Great big buddy Stalin told us to build this thing! Said we're gonna put it in the middle of Germany in 30 years, so we might as well get it done now! Only about 10 feet high, though!
Scott: Perfect! Kids, hope you're in the mood for a ride!{Picks up Froggo}
Froggo: Hey, is this anyway to treat-{He throws Froggo up and over the wall}ooff! Apperantly it is.
{The other growups get the idea and start tossing the kids to the top of the wall, where they climb down the other end. The grownups then start trying to climb up}
Sally:{Struggling}Ugh, that's what I get for passing up yoga that one time this week!
Scott: Hold on...I got this trick from when Allen put together an "outrun the cops" strategy during Home Improvement's first three years!
{Scott backs up a bit, then jumps pretty high up and quickly gets to the top of the wall. He then helps the other grownups get up there, then they jump to the other side just as the Monguls run to the wall and slam right into it}
Genghis:{Dazed}Ugh....a wall? A wall?!! What is it with people and their desire to put walls in front of us?!
Mongul: We can probably go around it and get them!
Guard: No chance, foreign person who should logically live nowhere near here. Stalin's crazy vision of the future said this thing has to be as long as Germany in 30 years, and that's where it's at now.
Mongul: Then we destroy it!
Guard: Da, like you Monguls are really good at destroying large, impenatrable walls! Heh, at least if this thing is useful, it'll never be broken down even if attempts are made for 40 years.
Genghis:{Pause}Then no one try to sell me anything or disturb me for the next hour! It's probably the last relaxation I get before the chairman lets me have it...
Mongul: You sure you don't wanna have waffles as a kinda last meal?{Genghis groans loudly}Okay, okay, starve for your last few minutes, what do I care?
(Behind the wall, the heroes sighs as they escaped for now.)
Aka: Yo, what is Genghis doing here anyway? He is in the wrong time period!
Toast: Dude, the historical guys go into the wrong times all the time. Remember how many times Ben Franklin ended up in Lincoln's time?
Aka: Don't remind me.
Scott: Something must be fishy. Well, at least that wall will keep Genghis at bay for probably 30 years.
Sally: Any idea where to go to, Mr. Kelvin?
Scott: Well... (Scott suddenly felt something as he reaches a certain part of town. There seems to be a ripple seen) Huh? Well, that's odd.
Sammy: A ripple in space. What would those Germans think of next?
(Curiously, Scott reaches out...and his hands seems to disappeared! Alarmed, he pulled his hand back and it reappeared. With a thought, Scott walks forward and he disappeared.)
Froggo: Scott?
Pepper: Oh my gosh! He's gone! He's gone! He's...
Scott: (reappearing) Hey, check this out.
Pepper: Oh, never mind.
(Sally and the Histerians entered the same spot Scott disappeared into. Suddenly the gang finds themselves in some sort of base, much to their surprise.)
Charity: Where are we?
Miss Info: Ooh! Ooh! I think I know! We're in Area 51!
WOW: (unimpressed) In the middle of Germany? I don't think so.
Voice: Intruder alert! Intruder alert!
Scott: What?
(The group is alarmed as they see some strange creature running towards them. They screamed but then the creature got zapped by a mask wearing guard, taking it down hard. More mask wearing guards appearing to contain the creature.)
Chit: Hey, nice weaponry! All right if I... (the guards points their weapons at the group making Chit yelped) Okay! I can give you half price for them!
Voice: Scott? Is that you?
(Scott turns and sees a woman wearing glasses and a lab coat appearing, looking surprised. She is played by Kathy Griffin.)
Scott: Uh, do I know you?
Woman: (smiling) Well, I haven't seen you since you were this small. (shows hand to make her point. The group looks dumbstuck. The woman sighs) Okay, that's impossible, I know. Anyway, my name is Her.
Pepper: Him got a wife?!
Her: No, no. That's my name. Her. My real name is confidental.
Sally: What is this place?
Her: This is a secret base hidden in the timeline.
Miss Info: Like Area 51?
Her: No. Not even close. Area 51 and Area 52 are myths to covered up this base which can be found, if possible, from any place in time.
(The group walks on following Her as the guards continued to take the creature away)
Sammy: So...what is this place?
Her: We called it The Time Within Time.
Toast: Whoa! That name sucks eggs!
Her: Hey, I didn't choose it. You guys was lucky to stumbled upon this place.
(The group passed a group of tubes holding creatures and fugitives nearby. One of them held Sigmund Freud who looks at them sternly.)
Her: We deal with intruders by capturing them and erasing their memories but we will make an exception in your case since I know you, Scott. (opens a fridge nearby and takes out a soda) Soda?
Kids: Yes, please!
(Her hands the kids and grownups some soda. Pepper jumps in front of Her screaming happily)
Pepper: Oh, I can't believed I really met you! You may be called Her but I know who you really are!
Her: (surprised) You do?
Pepper: Sure! (holds out autograph book) May I please, oh please have your autograph?!
Her: Uh...I guess.
(Her takes Pepper's autograph book, signs in it, and gives it back. Pepper looks into and frowns)
Pepper: (to Her) Hey! You aren't Kathy Griffin! (walks away in a huff)
Her: (confused) Okay....
Scott: Look, we may need your help. We need to find the Time Stone.
(Her was drinking her soda but the moment Scott mentioned 'Time Stone', she spits out her soda in shock.)
Her: (glaring) How did you know about that?
Scott: Nick told me. Before he was grabbed.
Her: (groaning) I told him to keep that stuff a secret! Geez, so much for pinky swear.
Miss Info: Hey! It is not nice to swear!
Father Time: Madame, Scott's brother got grabbed by whoever is after us. You obviously knew about the Time Stone so out with it!
{Cut to a DVD being put on, and in it we see Fred Moppel at a news desk}
Fred Moppel: Good evening, I'm Fred Moppel, and this is "The Time Stone: The History of the thing that controls History" In the next 3 minutes, we will go into the thing that you employees at the Time Within Time must never let wrong hands get a hold of...The Time Stone.
{Cut to an image of a large red stone}
Moppel:{V.O}Created in 1990 by studio executives who wanted to go back in time to do better research for historical epics, it was quickly discarded when it turned out audiences don't much care for historical accuracy. With that in mind, it was used by a wide variety of educational shows to do one thing...combine the various time lines of history. With that, figures like Napolean and Dwight Eisenhower could actually come together and meet, despite being so far apart in time. But although it was used for such entertaining purposes as that Histeria sketch with Alexander the Great and Sigmund Freud, it's dangers quickly became apperant.
{Cut to an image of the TIME Chairman and his board}
Moppel:{V.O}This is TIME, a corporation that found profit in the damaging of time lines. Led by the cunning and so called witty TIME Chairman, their goal is to combine all periods of time in history, and profit and take power in the chaos. When they discovered the Time Stone could do that for them, the Stone had to be hidden. The goal of you new employees is to prevent TIME from finding the Stone, even though we hid it so well even we don't know where it is. We learned that's both good and annoying all at once, you'll get used to it after a while.
{Cut back to Moppel}
Moppel: Hopefully, our top highly skilled agents like Nick Kelvin will prevent you from having to do much dirty work. But in case he's captured trying to stop TIME from getting too close, your job will be a bit more important. Of course we could always get lucky and get my former Histeria co stars to handle things, but let's not get too ahead of ourselves. And thus, the history of the Time Stone is revealed, as is your task to keep it from the TIME Chairman. This is Fred Moppel, good night and good luck.{Pause}I sure hope you're good enough so I don't have to interview Leif Erikson in the future...
{The DVD ends and the lights go up in a room where the gang is watching it}
Sammy: Oh, that was how we could bring history people together...no wonder Kellner had that glowing box that was locked with 20 locks in his office.
Froggo: So it's our fault the Time Stone is still out there?
Her: No no no, don't be stupid!{Pause}Well, your shows was one of the shows that brought the stone to the Chairman's attention, but rest assure we'll spend equal time blaming them, too!
Charity: So you don't even know where it is?
Her: Nick was getting pretty close, but he had to go get himself captured before he could let us know. Some people and their time management, huh? But now that his bro has the card, we can do the whole thing ourselves!
Scott:{Holding the card}How is this thing supposed to tell us anything? I don't see any clues from here.
Her: Well, look a bit closer, guy, and one's supposed to show up somewhere! Assuming Nick actually knew what he was talking about, and 60% of the time he did.
{Cut back to the desert as Genghis Khan is on another video phone with the Chairman}
TIME Chairman: Babe, I gotta wonder, what's the point of hiring the greatest military conquerer of all time when he can't even blow up or get past a wall that's not even gonna be built for 30 years. I mean, am I just crazy to think that?
Genghis: Well, if you hadn't given Stalin hints about the future, maybe he wouldn't have built it too early, huh?
TIME Chairman: Oh yeah, that'll be a real good excuse after those IDIOTS HAVE DECODED THE KEY CARD IN THE TIME WITHIN TIME!!! Ugh, if I had flaming hair like I asked for weeks ago, it'd be turning red by now!
Genghis: So, relaxation over?
TIME Chairman: I'm not rewarding your idiotcy with free time! You get one more chance because you don't have to do much for our next idea! All you have to do is contact our operative in the Time Within Time, and tell him to send his special friends out to play.
Genghis: You don't mean...
TIME Chairman: Let's assume for a minute I do, and you do what you're supposed to do in that case, okay?
Genghis: Of course, of course...{Hangs up, then uses his phone to dial another number}Sigmund? It's time to get your boys saddled up!
{Cut to the Time Within Time as Sigmund Freud hears this in his cell}
Freud: Ooh, it's about time! Heh, time in a place full of time, that's clever...I'll bet Mommy would like that.
{He concentrates hard, and soon three beings escape from out of his head- his personification of the Id, Ego, and SuperEgo, which get out of his cell}
Freud: Go, my creations that symbolized unquenchable urges! Use your lack of restraint to get those dogooders!{Pause}And get me a couch while you're at it, this place has been too cramped for my back.
{Cut back to the gang as they look over the card}
Sally: Okay, so mixing historical people together for comedic effect wasn't such a good idea for TV to do. We didn't get that much ratings or good writeups from critics out of it, so that's enough punishment right there, right?
Loud: We'll figure that out if we don't have to live with Attila the Hun and the Vikings raiding the planet together.
Her: Hold on, I'm starting to see something....this thing is trying to tell me...{Lots of noise is heard}Oh, wait a minute here...
{She opens the door to see Id, Ego, and SuperEgo trashing the place}
Her: Will you creations of Freud keep it down, I'm trying to decode a card that should say where the Time Stone is! The never of some people from a guy's head!{She shuts the door}You just can't be civil in these type of things, you try to be but it just doesn't pay off...
Miss Info: Did you say Freud's creatures were out there?
Her: And with no taste for our personal property, I might add!{Pause}Wait, I'm missing something here...
{The door is smashed open and the creatures are seen coming inside}
Scott: I suddenly don't wanna stick around long enough for them to remind us!
(We cut to the Histeria! symbol as we hear a voice)
Voice: We interrupted this movie to bring you this important message.
(We now see Lydia Karaoke sitting behind her desk looking at us)
Lydia: Hello, my name is Lydia Karaoke, network censor. Although it's odd for someone to be doing this for this movie, I felt I should tell you anyway. The scene is going to contain a lot of fighting, head butting, kicking, and a lot of silliness. Please note that Warner Bros. will not be held responsible in case you are hurt in any case if you decided to impersonated what's happening. Remember, don't do this at home or in the movie theater. Thank you. And we now go back to our movie.
(Return to the Histeria! symbol once more)
Voice: We now returned to our movie already in progress.
{Cut back to the Time Within Time as Freud's creatures advance on the group}
Loud: FIGHT POSITION 32?
Froggo: I actually think you're right on that, so that means it must be good!
Aka: Then what are we waiting for?
Superego: Defeat!
Sally: I don't think she was asking you, slimy thing.
Id: Hey, yo, I call him slimy, not you, you representation of restraint!
Sally: Tamest insult I've heard in a while, but you're still going down!
{The group breaks up to attack. The male kids go after Id, the male adults go over Supergo, and the females go after Ego}
Sammy: Of course we get the goopy one!
Chit: Hey, some of us are inexperienced in fisticuffs, so-{Superego swallows the males}....great, I forgot my point because I'm being digested!
Father Time: Great, how am I gonna get this outta my beard!{Wiggles it around to try and get goop off}
Superego: Ugh!{Starts to laugh}Old man hair...tickling me!{He keeps laughing for a long time, then he sneezes a big sneeze- which blows the adults out of him and leaves him dazed and out of it}
Sammy: Ha, no one's hairer indeed! We are definently making an action figure outta that!
Father Time:{Still getting goop outta his beard}I'll get back to you on that, okay?
{Cut to the females trying to bring down Ego. Sally tries to headbutt her, but it doesn't bring her down}
Sally: This is getting to be a problem.
Ego: Like your pathetic uses for your head could defeat someone like me! I am the greatest, I am to be feared, I am-
{Charity, Aka, Cho-Cho, and Miss Info kick her legs all at once}
Ego:{Pause}Ow!! You kicked me, that hurt! Owie owie owie, how could Ego be bruised so easily?!{She hops around a bit, then slips on some of the goo on the ground and goes down}
WOW:{Coming into the scene}All right, I just changed my dentures, now they're ready to take a bite outta evil! Where's the evil?!
Sally: You just missed the one we were fighting!
WOW: I did? Well, who's left, then?{Sees Id}Oh, never mind biting into that, then! You just do your thing, no need for me to bail you out, you know what you're doing!{The rest of the group gets together to fight Id}
Id: It's useless already, now gimmie the key card!
Scott: Let's see....we already fought, used head butts, and did some kicking. What was the other thing in this scene?
Froggo: Silliness, and that's our thing!
Charity: And nothing's more silly than our time tested formula of scaring people away. Three, two....one!
Id: You can't scare me, I embody everything humans are scared to do!
Loud: WHAT A GROUCH!!
Froggo: Gimme a case of erasers and a pile of wood!
Charity: I'm not happy...
Pepper: AH HA HA, it's Robert De Niro!!
Aka: Y'all are getting wack now!
Cho-Cho: Hey mister, want some newspapers, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya?
Lucky Bob: Here's...sneeze!
Miss Info: Did you know the word time was named after a watch? Did ya?
Id:{Backing out of the room}I don't know, I don't wanna know, back off!
Loud: WHAT A GROUCH, WHAT A GROUCH!!!
Froggo: Okay, a jar of worms, final offer!
Cho Cho: How about some book club books?
Pepper: AHHHH!! Now I know who you are, you're Martin Scorsese! I really need your autograph now, gimmie gimmie gimmie!!
{The Histerians keep bugging him with their running gags until Id cracks}
Id: That's it, I'll take Siggy's mommy issues over this any day!!{He runs back to Freud's cell}
Freud: What are you doing, the dark one needs you!
Id: Then let him get confused for mob movie people!{He dives towards Freud's ear and tries to crawl back into his head}
Sally: A creature diving into a person's ear?!
Loud: Silly with a capital S!
Freud: Get outta my head, I command you!{But Id slides back in}Ow!! Oh....some way to get a headache! At least Alexander only tried to hurt my head by cutting it open...
Scott: Well, that was....psychologically twisted.
Her: I guess if they were working for the Chairman, it's not safe for you here.
Loud: But we still need to know where the card says we should go next first!
Scott:{Looking at the card closer}I think it's starting to tell us...
Sally: Okay...so battling things from people's head is the thing that made you finally hear voices.
Scott: No, not yet! I'll explain on the way out! Bye Her!{They all head away}
Her: Bye, Nick's bro!{Pause}It'll take months to get this place clean...if we weren't a secret club that didn't entertain visitors until now, that would be a problem!
(The gang exits the Time Within Time. They find themselves in Paris, France after the French Revolution.)
Charity: Oh yeah. I remember this place oh so well.
Pepper: Wow! Are we in Universal Studios?!
Father Time: After the French Revolution in Paris? I don't think so.
Sally: So what is that card trying to say to you, Scott?
Scott: Push button?
Sally: Cards don't have buttons.
Scott: That is what I heard it said.
Toast: Dude, you are so pushing my buttons.
Froggo: Hmmm. This is going to take a genius to figure that one out.
Voice: Or perhaps a genius who lives in his pants?
(The group turns and sees a familiar Histerian)
Aka: Hey, it's Smarty!
Miss Info: Wow! Where were you? I missed you!
Aka: (to the girls) Figures. She loved the guys.
(The girls chuckled making Miss Info and Smartypants blushed a bit)
Smartypants: Anyway, uh, hi. I am Mr. Smartypants. I am called that because I know a lot of stuff and I lived in my pants.
WOW: Don't ask.
Scott: I won't. Do you know what the card meant by 'push button'?
Smartypants: Very good question. Now let me provide ya with an answer...there's a button on the back.
(Scott turns the card over and sees a button on the back.)
Scott: Now how did I missed that?
(Scott pushes the button as a message is played)
Message: Bonjour! You are one step closer to finding Time Stone, yes? To find the next clue, look on front and find her in palace, no?
(The message stops)
Lucky Bob: One more time now!
Sally: No now! "To find the next clue, look on front and find her in palace?" What does that mean?
Scott: (looking at front of card) Well, the front of the card has a picture of the Mona Lisa. So maybe we need to find the Mona Lisa.
Sammy: But it means 'find her in palace'? What does it meant by that?
Froggo: Oh wait. I think I know. See where we're at now?
Loud: Paris after the French Revolution. Why?
Froggo: Well, sometime after the French Revolution, Napoleon had moved the Mona Lisa in his bedroom in the Tuileries Palace. The Mona Lisa is there now...in this timeline.
WOW: Am I going to find myself in there? I wanted to make sure Leo didn't mess me up.
Chit: Geez, in any case, we would be lucky to see you at all.
Scott: Well then. On our way to the Tuileries Palace, I supposed.
Miss Info: (speaking through megaphone) Okay, people. We are in Paris after the French Revolution. We are on our way to the home of the ruler of Paris at the time...Tattoo, star of Fantasy Island!
Smartypants: Uh, actually it is Napoleon. He is sorta based on Tattoo.
Miss Info: Whatever, darling. You keep thinking that.
(Back at TIME, Nick was still in his cage as the TIME Chairman came in.)
TIME Chairman: Your brother is more resourceful than I thought. He got away again.
Nick: See? My genes roamed through him. You can't beat him. You are going down.
TIME Chairman: Oh, you genes roamed through him, huh? Well, your genes is going to roamed somewhere else in a minute! Nikola?
(Nikola Tesla, the young version, appears bringing out his death ray appeared)
Tesla: What is...your request, sir?
TIME Chairman: Brrrr! Every time you speak like Christopher Walken, I get the chills. See if you could get our friend to talk, willya?
Tesla: (smirking) With pleasure.
TIME Chairman: Scott Kelvin and the Histerians are in Paris after the French Revolution right now. I think it's time we contact our next operative!
{Cut to inside the Tuileries Palace, where Napoleon is on another video phone with the TIME Chairman}
Napoleon: And after I destroy zhis card and hide the Mona Lisa, I get control of ze entire 19'th century, right?
TIME Chairman: Yes yes, if it's still intact after we use the Time Stone, you can have that entire time period to rule. Now are we in agreement?
Napoleon: And I get my own private island to rule it all from?
TIME Chairman: Oh, now isn't that a bit of an obvious thing to want?
Napoleon: What are you implying?
TIME Chairman: Oh, nothing, nothing...so, you gonna go take care of this?
Napoleon: I could have started if you didn't confuse me with zhat island crack! Why would it be fitting for me to have it? Is it because of zhis Waterloo place you mentioned once?
TIME Chairman: You're right, time is money, especially for me! Chop chop, get on the thing now!{Hangs up}
Napoleon: All right, now to alert my security not to let anyone in for any reason!
{Cut to the Histerians entering the palace}
Miss Info: We're walking in the famous palace, we told the guards we were having a tour in here, we didn't tell them of other activities we had planned, stay together people! We're walking, we're looking at famous art, we're disappointed that we can't see one certain piece right off the bat...no flash photography, people!
Scott: I think we're in the clear now.
Napoleon:{V.O}Not for very long!
Pepper: Oh no, it's Danny DeVito!
Napoleon:{Rushing over}Gah, if I 'ave to 'ear zhat name compared to me one more time!!
Loud: Um, hi Napoleon! We just need to look at something and we'll be on our way.
Froggo: Yeah, you go ahead trying to take over the world, we won't bother you.
Napoleon: You already are!{Gets out a sword}Now surrender so I can please my dark master!
Froggo: You...refer to the Time guy as your master? You?
Froggo: Excuse me? But wouldn't you want to have one of my treats before you try to get rid of us?
Napoleon: Why?
Froggo: (holding out treats from the French Revoluton episode on a plate) Come on. You don't want to hurt someone over an empty stomach, right?
Napoleon: Hmmmm...I could never resist their taste! Maybe just one!
(Napoleon grabs a treat and ate it. He belches a bit)
Napoleon: That's good! I want another one!
(He eats another one and belches)
Napoleon: One more!
Scott: Why is he feeding him that? Isn't he ever going to stop though I pray not?
Sally: No, Napoleon could never resist Froggo's treats. And knowing what happened in that episode, he would be in quite a surprise later. We better get to the Mona Lisa while they keep him busy.
Scott: Well they're the Histerians after all. Come on, let's find that Mona Lisa.
(Scott and Sally sneak past Napoleon while he's stuffing his face down.)
Scott: If Napoleon's appetite distracts him as much as they said on TV, we got some time. I just hope our target is easy to find.
Sally: If it's so important to these people, I don't think they would leave it hanging around where anyone could find it. They could have it under lock and key, or hid in a safe, or...
{The two quickly find the Mona Lisa, in WOW form, hanging on a wall}
Sally: You know, you'd think we've gotten far enough that I would start being right by now.
Scott: You can help guess what this card is gonna finally tell us. That'd be a good time for both of us to get things right.{He holds up the card right up to the painting}
{Cut to Napoleon continuing to chow down on Froggo's food}
Loud: Looks like one of your last roles is paying off!
Froggo: Good thing the writers didn't delay putting that sketch on forever, or we'd be stuck.
Napoleon: Ze what now?{Finishes up}More!
Aka: He wants more, he got it, right?
Froggo:{Pause, digs into his pockets}Wait a minute....I know I had a lot more in here, where did I-{Slaps his forehead}Oh, I left about 4 batches in the Time Within Time to have for later, but those creatures attacked us before I ate and I forgot to bring them along!
Napoleon: You....'ave no more?!
Mr Smartypants: Honest mistake, I'm sure....why don't you stay here and let us get them back?
Napoleon: Why don't I capture you and force you to make more or you get ze gullitine?!
Froggo: Actually, we have other things we gotta do in the future...can we get back to that offer later?
Napoleon: No later, you cook now now now or get chopped chopped chopped!!{Gets out his sword again}
Froggo: Don't worry, he'll be out of commission soon enough.
Napoleon: You gave me only 12 treats, it takes 30 for my intestines to hurt, remember?!
Froggo:{Pause}Well, you're the rude one for not reminding me sooner then, aren't you?
Napoleon: You will not leave me with healthy bowels, now surrender or get, as zhey say, bumped off!!
Miss Info: Okay, we're preparing to flee, we're a gang running away from one tiny hungry dictator and that should keep him busy, stay together and I meant it, people!
{The gang runs off as Napoleon chases them in a hurry}
Napoleon: Get back 'ere, pastery withholders!!
{Cut back to Scott and Sally looking at the card}
Sally: If it's gonna decode something, it really should happen soon...
{She squints harder at it, and then starts to see some things appear on the card}
Sally: Ha, well there you go, I got one at the right time!
Scott: Yeah....you actually did...this card is matching up to the painting and showing....something.
{The card begins to show a clearer image, and soon it becomes like a map}
Sally: That's it?
Scott: I wouldn't say that just yet...{More images and the beginning of words begin to pop up on the card}
{Cut to the Histerians continuing to avade Napoleon and his sword}
Charity: How long do we have to keep running, again?
Father Time: Long enough for things to get done!
WOW: My legs don't have the patience or the bone structure to do it for that long!{She stops}
Napoleon: Ah ha, moi's first hostage for the lazy chefs!{He keeps running to her, but she instead pulls his hat over his head so he can't see}
WOW: There we go, running problem solved, let him bang against stuff for a while and my bones won't be banging together!
Napoleon:{Stumbling around, swinging his sword all around}Gah, I can still get you by accident, no major setback!
{He walks around some more and winds up hitting a wall, dropping his sword}
Loud: Here, I'll get that for you! I was saving this for a rainy day, but you can have it.{He gets out a closed umbrella and hands it to Napoleon}
Napoleon: Ah ha, zhis mistake will be your last!{He lunges with the umbrella, but it opens it and he stumbles right into it}
Cho-Cho: Aw mister, you took tense. How about a ride to calm you down?
{The kids take the umbrella and spin it around, with Napoleon still it. He gets tangled up in it and rolls all the way down the hall and out of sight}
Sammy: Yeah, we did it!
Froggo: You didn't do anything, actually.
Sammy: Aw, but neither did Pepper or Chit or Lucky Bob or those other extras, and you're not ganging up on them! Always trying to keep the oppressed executive down...you're lucky I have partial control of a whole studio to ease my suffering!
Loud: Never realized you were under our boot so much, I guess...
{Cut back to Scott and Sally analyzing the card some more}
Sally: I see some letters! It says "The Land That Time Forgotten" Aside from having poor grammer, that title obviously means something.
Scott: It has to be where the Time Stone is! So how do we get there from here?
{We hear some noise, and then see Napoleon crashing into the room on the spinning umbrella. He crashes into Scott and Sally before stopping}
Napoleon: Oh...ze things I spin around in for good eating...
Scott:{Quickly putting away the card after seeing Napoleon}Well, we won't bother you anymore, so enjoy your lack of eats in peace!
Napoleon:{Notices the Mona Lisa}Agh, you found it! Ze Chairman will never leave zhis century all for me if you leave now!{Looks around, then grabs Sally}Hand over ze card now, or I let her have it!
Scott: You're two feet shorter than her, and you have no weapons!
Napoleon: Well...{Looks around, then finds another sword nearby and gets it}Ha, I knew my "sword in every room" policy would pay off one day!{Holds the sword in one hand and Sally's arm in the other}
(Josephine, Napoleon's wife, came in with a lot of shopping bags.)
Napoleon: (shocked) Josephine?! Did you went shopping with my cash again?!
Josephine: Why would you care? You are busy with your dark masters. Besides, I didn't use your cash. I use your Discover's Card!
Napoleon: (shocked) What?!
Josephine: (holding out bill) See?
Napoleon: (taking bill and reading it) Sacre bleau! This is going to take all my cash! How am I going to run an evil empire if you're shopping it to death?!
Josephine: Blah, blah, blah. That is what I get from ya. I swear.
Napoleon: I got to get some quick cash after paying this bill off! I need to sell something like the Louisiana Purchase or something!
(Napoleon left with Josephine forgetting Scott and Sally)
Scott: That was awkward.
Sally: Not really. In the show, Josephine's shopping gave his empire and the little guy himself a headache. Time we copy the map.
(Using her cellphone, she scanned the map via the card and downloaded it onto said cellphone
Scott: Is everything is like the show around here?
Sally: Maybe like a movie or something.
(As Scott thinks this, he doesn't something coming from the shadow and grabbing Sally and the cellphone.)
Scott: Well, if this were like the movie, we woulda become love interests and get together in the end. And things would turned out fine. What do you think, Sally? Sally? (turns just in time to see the Rough Guy making off with Sally) D'oh! Why does the 'distracted while the girl gets kidnapped' happens?!
(Outside the palace, Nostradamus was looking into his crystal ball, making a prediction.)
Nostradamus: I predicated that the very very evil Rough Guy is about to run out with a girl. (sees Rough Guy running out with Sally) I WAS RIGHT!
(A while later, Scott came out)
Scott: Hey Nostradamus! Did you see a big guy making off with a girl around here?
Nostradamus: I knew you were going to say that. Shut Up! (pointing) Rough Guy is taking her to the Eiffel Tower! Shut up!
Scott: (confused) Wait. What is the Eiffel Tower doing in this timeline? It wasn't built until 1889!
Nostradamus: Who knows what's going on with the villanly and the misplaced time people and so forth. Shut Up!
Scott: You really like to say Shut Up, do you?
Nostradamus: Shut Up! Really!
(At the top of the Eiffel Tower, Rough Guy has arrived with Sally)
Sally: Okay, this doesn't make sense! The tower isn't supposed to exist yet!
(Rough Guy waits as a helicopter is approaching. Inside it as it approaches, we see Edgar Allen Poe, the Raven, Sappho, and Basho)
Edgar Allen Poe: (to audience) You got it folks. We are the evil authors of prey!
Basho: Too long! Needs to be short!
Sappho: Land the thing so we can get the map for the TIME Chairman!
(At the bottom, Scott has arrived and looks up.)
Scott: I got to get there in a hurry. Good thing I took some inventions before I left the Time Within Time. (puts a device on his pants) Time to test these rocket powered pants. (looking up) Now, To Infinity And Beyond!
(Scott activated the pants but they ended up being launch into the air leaving him there in his underwear)
Scott: (embarrassed) I have no idea why I thought that would work.
{Cut to the top of the tower as Sally struggles to escape Rough Guy's clutches}
Sally: I don't suppose I can bride you with stock options, can I?{No answer}Well, I did say I didn't think it would work....and I take your silence as agreeing with me.
Loud:{V.O}THEN HE HAD HIS CHANCE TO SURRENDER!!{The Histerians appear}
Sally: Oh my, you're here! How did you get here so fast?
Loud: Um....how did we get here, Froggo?
Froggo:{Getting out a map}Beats me...by all accounts it doesn't make sense.
Sally: Oh well, this is a lack of logic I like!
{Rough Guy turns towards them, and the kids charge at him- then immediatly go down when they run into him}
Sammy: Ooh! That smarts, I bet!
Chit: Enough to convince me not to do that!
{Rough Guy brushes his shirt just as the helicopter begins to arrive above the tower and touch down}
Sally: I guess that's supposed to be my ride! Is it?
Aka: We gotta think of something big so it isn't!
{Cut to Scott back down on the ground, buying pants from a stand}
Scott: Aw...geez, I left the rest of my spare change in my other pants. Can I get an IOU for the other 20 cents?
{Cut back to the tower as the copter is still in the air. Poe opens the door and lowers a ladder down}
Poe: Climb up to our pit of evil, sans pendulem!
Charity: Not if we get up there first!{The kids start climbing up the ladder}
Basho: Line and ladder too long! AAAAAA!!{He gets his sword and cuts the ladder, and the kids go down to the ground, though they aren't banged up too bad}Got them!
Sappho: Yeah, you did great....except you cut off the guy's way up here and we actually have to land on the tower now to get him!
Basho: Pointing out of idiotcy too long too!!!
{The copter now has to land on the tower itself, and the cast rushes towards it before Rough Guy does}
Loud: YOU HAVE TO GET THROUGH ALL OF US TO GET IN!!
Cho Cho: You realize he can do that in two seconds, right?
{Rough Guy lifts Sally up with one arm and starts pushing the Histerians away with his other, getting half of them out of the way quick}
{Cut back to a slightly wet Scott paying the last of the money}
Scott: You're lucky I could get 20 cents outta your fountains quickly...{He grumbles and finally puts his new pants on}Now, where were we?{Turns back to the tower}
{Cut back to the roof as Rough Guy is almost done pushing the Histerians away}
Poe: Get in here, we have better dark poems to write than to be here, you know!{Finally, only Froggo is left in front of him}
Froggo: Um....you wouldn't shove a guy who was planning to buy glasses, would you?{No response}How about a guy who was gonna buy contacts?
{As Froggo is talking, Loud goes over and takes the cellphone from Rough Guy's pocket}
Froggo:{Sees this}Never mind, they'd make me look bad on screen anyway, bye!{He steps away}
Sappho: Hey wait, that one kid was right near your pants....typical man!
{Rough Guy uses his free arm to look in his pocket, and sees the phone is gone}
Poe: Aw, now we actually have to go outside in the light, no fair!{The evil writers come out of the copter}
Sappho: I got an idea to make this quick. Hey bird, go earn your birdseed for a change, k?
Voice: Nevermore!
{Poe's raven flys out and flys around Loud, then eventually lifts the phone from his pocket}
Loud: HEY, NO FAIR!!
Poe: Yeah, I command him, not you! I didn't see you writing about him instead of your little female pals!
Sappho: We didn't know they existed at the time, so sue us for not being smart!
{Bassho starts waving his sword around and keeping the Histerians from getting far, as Rough Guy retakes the phone. He enters the copter, and Sally sees him taking another phone out, and using it to transfer the information about the card from Sally's phone. He then puts the new phone away as the writers begin to get back in}
{Cut to Scott climbing the tower and getting up to the top to see the action}
Scott: All right, time for the shaggy dog move!
{Scott runs up to the copter on all fours and jumps inside, landing on Rough Guy. He has to let go of Sally and drop her, and her phone, back on the ground}
Scott:{Biting his ear}Yow! Even his ears have muscles!
Poe:{Getting back in the pilot seat}Get that remake of a dog out of here!
{Rough Guy finds a newspaper, rolls it up, and slaps Scott with it with enough strength that he lands out of the copter}
Scott: Ugh....I'd have rather had a frisbee.
{Rough Guy closes the door to the copter and it takes off}
Charity:{Sees the phone}We got it back!{Pause}We'd better leave quick before they realize it!
Sally: No matter, he already downloaded a copy on his phone. He doesn't need that anymore....though fortunatly, it doesn't seem like he realizes I saved the original on here, too!
Scott: So....we just gotta climb down from this thing and get to where the map leads on foot, before they get there with a helicopter that's going a few hundreds miles an hour.
Froggo:{Pause}We aren't gonna defy all that just by standing here, are we?
Sally: No, I suppose you got that much right...{Takes the phone}
(In a building somewhere, the gang thinks about what to do next.)
Aka: Well, so far those homies got a map, we got a map. We just need to know where to go to.
Scott: We need to find The Land That Time Forgotten. But what is it?
Father Time: I know all about it.
Sally: You do?
(Father Time turns off the lights, turns on a flashlight and shines it in his face, acting like a scary person)
Father Time: (Lorre voice) Many years ago, between 1 B.C. and 1 A.D, there was another time. Something happened in this timeline, something mysterious. But then it disappeared and anything in that time was never seen again.
(The humans and Histerians looked freaked out. Father Time turned the lights back and shrugged)
Father Time: Well, so I heard.
Charity: So how do we get to this...timeline?
Scott: We just need to go between the years 1 B.C and 1 A.D. I think somewhere down the center.
Pepper: But we don't have a time sub!
(Suddenly a crash came through the ceiling startling the gang. Turning, they see a time sub landing on the floor next to them.)
Cho-Cho: Offhand, I think we have a chance.
Lucky Bob: Big chance now, hiyo!
(Back at TIME, the Chairman looks amused as Rough Guy uses a machine so his boss should see the map of The Land That Time Forgotten)
TIME Chairman: Perfect. I knew I could trust you, Rough Guy. At least better than the usual idiots. Of course, one minor nitpick: the heroes got the original map while we got a copy! This could be very serious!
TIME VP #2: How so, sir?
TIME Chairman: They could get there before we go! So in a situation like this, we must get some desperate measures! It's time I bring in my most dangerous operative!
(A door nearby opens as everyone in the room looks. Suddenly a familiar hun jumps in yelling like mad.)
Attila the Hun: Me want to crush Histerians! Me will invaded time and steal everything! Me opportunity seeker.
TIME Chairman: Good to see you, Attila. I can assured that, although Napoleon has failed, a short people can make bits out of the good guys. Also, with his history like you know by now, he's the most dangerous one yet.
(The VP for Never Learning presses a buzzer)
TIME VP #4: Uh, excuse me, sir? While it's agreeable that Attila the Hun is the most dangerous and ruthless Hun in his time, if I remembered, he is also very stupid.
TIME Chairman: You think so? (the VP nodded) Well, how about...now?!
(Attila roars as he jumps at the VP. The Chairman watches as noises of a fight are heard. Attila then returned to camera with an evil grin on his face. We now see what belong of the VP. He is a big mess, his suit is all tored up.)
TIME VP #4: (gasping) You know what? I withheld what I just said.
(As the others watched, he fell backwards to the floor unconscious.)
{Cut to the Histerians coming towards the new time sub}
Froggo: How did this get here?
Charity: Plot hole?
Sally: Those actually seem to be working in our favor lately. I'll never demand that writers actually write tight scripts again if we get outta this...now I know why the execs never demand for those!{Pause}Well, at least it's a better excuse than their real reasons.
Scott: Someone had to put this here....it'd sure help us get in there.{The sub door then opens to reveal...}
Sammy: The baby! Ha, my faith in him as a hit character is restored!
Big Fat Baby: Histera!
Aka: Well...why not? Move aside, big fat!{The Histerians enter the sub}
Loud: WOW, THIS IS GREAT!! WE'LL GET THERE IN NO TIME!!
Mr Smartypants:{Going in the driver's seat}If a baby could figure out how to work this thing, it should be no problem for us!{Works some buttons, but nothing happens}Um....you mind giving us a quick review of these controls, pal?
BFB: Goo!
Mr Smartypants: Ah, yes in baby talk, good sign!
{BFB works[and drools]over the controls and the sub flys out and into the time stream. We see it from behind flying through various worm holes}
Froggo:{V.O}What a fantastic view...
Loud:{V.O}Unless you're the audience, then the back of a sub has been covering the scenery for 9 seconds.
{Finally, the sub disappears from sight, then reappears in a large ancient area. We see that they are now in the middle of what looks like the ancient ruins of a big city from long long ago}
Chit:{Exits the sub}Okay, tell the baby to remember where we parked!{Falls on the ground}
Loud:{Him and the others leaving much easier}This must be it, then....so where do we go?
Scott:{Holding the phone}Wherever this thing tells us too, I guess. We landed in the middle of this place, so....we start off going straight ahead for a few minutes.
Miss Info: Then it looks like we're walking, we're walking again.
Sally: Just one more of these shouldn't hurt too much....if we're finally lucky enough.
{They start walking around. After a few shots of them going around the city, we cut to the kids}
Froggo: We should be almost there...then we get the Stone, go back to our time as heroes again-
Aka: And you get credit for being the big factor in a win for once, huh?
Froggo: Those exact words didn't come to mind...not out loud.
Aka: Well, they kinda go without saying, since there's no way your little behind is gonna stay unemployed after this. We'll take out a few teeth of those execs first...I'll be sure to take the most from them just for you.
Froggo: Aw, that is so wonderful to hear...
Aka: Hee, now I wanna find this thing sooner so I can tell you other sweet things...more up close.
Froggo:{Pause}Are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet already?!
Charity: Shouldn't be much longer!{To Loud}Well, he sure looks happy now.
Loud: Aka's known to get results like that from him.
Charity: Sure better than his unhappiness from before.
Loud: Well....you know I never tried to exclude him before, but I just never thought he was feeling that way for real. We'll fix that when we get home.
Charity: I know you'll lead the way, like you always do.
Loud: I try, I guess...
Charity: We got some time for you to try and make me extra happy...
Loud: We do...
Scott:{V.O}We're here!
Loud: HEY, WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA, I WAS CLOSE TO GETTING CLOSE HERE!!
Scott: We're no closer than we are now!
Loud: I COULD BEG TO DIFFER!
Sally: He means we're right where the Time Stone is!
Loud: OH....that other thing I was close to.
{We see that the Histerians are standing in front of a large temple. They enter it with caution}
Miss Info: Be careful, there could be-
Father Time: Sssh! If you don't say it, it might not happen.
Miss Info: But shouldn't we be prepared in case-
Father Time: Not that prepared to tempt fate...
Miss Info: But if the Time Stone is so important, wouldn't it be a lot harder to get to it because of-
Sally: There it is!
{The group now sees that at the center of the temple, lays the Time Stone. They rush up to it}
Miss Info: Well, what do you know, no traps after all!{Suddenly, lots of traps spring up right behind them, but they're not close to falling into them by now}Oh....heh, guess old Father Time knew what he was interrupting, huh?
Father Time: Well, let's just get the thing and go home before getting close to saying anything else.
Scott: I'll take that job!{Reaches down to the stone}Bro...this is for you.
{His hand goes out to take the stone- but just then another hand gets it first}
Voice: Allow me...{We now see the TIME Chairman right in front of Scott}Ha, I waited in the shadows for minutes just so you'd show up and I could take it at the last second, but it was worth it!
Scott: You!
TIME Chairman: Hello, assorted heroes, executives, and dimbulbed misfits. I am....the TIME Chairman!
Loud: That's your whole name? TIME Chairman? TIME is your first name?
TIME Chairman: What's the big deal about names? Does Miss Info have a real first name? Does World's Oldest Woman? Do the kids have any real last names? And what could possibly be the real name of Big Fat Baby anyway? Who cares?
Miss Info: Well, my first name is Melissa...
Charity: And most of us kids have last names.
TIME Chairman:{Pause}My earlier point stands, who cares?
Scott: I care more that you have my brother and that stone at the moment! Give it back, man!
TIME Chairman: Oh, why do that when I can gloat some more about beating you? And it wasn't even me who did it! Isn't that right...Nick?
{He pulls a zipper on the back of his head and reveals himself to be Nick Storms}
Scott: Nick?
Nick: Yes my brother....it is I.
Scott: Impossible...
Nick:{Pause}Eh, you're right, it pretty much is....especially considering that I am...
{He pulls another zipper on his head to reveal himself as....a duplicate of Scott}
Scott: It's....me?
Scott 2: Oooh, spooky!{Pause}But that's not quite it.
{He pulls another zipper down to reveal himself now as...}
Gene Burrows: Gene Burrows here...
Froggo: This doesn't make a lick of sense.
{Gene pulls another zipper down to reveal himself as the TIME Chairman again}
TIME Chairman: Ha, I rehearsed that routine while waiting for you, and it was so worth it!{Pause}Well, fun's over, destroy them now Attila, will you?
Attila:{Jumping around into the scene}Me here to crush and conquer and pillage! It Attila-mania!!
Lydia: Lydia Karaoke, Network Censor. Excuse me but as I seen from the script, Atilla the Hun can be very vicious and can tear people apart. We shouldn't be showing that kinda stuff to the younger viewers.
TIME Chairman: (V.O.) Excuse me?
(The TIME Chairman appeared)
Lydia: What are you doing back here?! You are supposed to be on the set!
TIME Chairman: Why do you insist on interrupting? This is a movie and we don't need network censors.
Lydia: It is a running gag. I interrupted whenever I need to.
TIME Chairman: I don't see why you are concerned about Attila's behavior. He speaks and acts like the Tasmanian Devil.
Lydia: He is vicious and rude and what he does, we cannot show to the viewers!
TIME Chairman: How about I do something to you that can't be shown to the viewers.
(The Chairman pulls out a bat and waves it threateningly at a gulping Lydia. A title card saying 'Please Stand By' is shown as beating up noises are heard. We now return to the desk as a smirking TIME Chairman sees a hurt Lydia)
Lydia: Okay. Attila's scene is starting to make sense now. (fell to the floor unconscious)
TIME Chairman: In the words of a kid who used to be funny, did I do that? Now back to the film. (pause) Oh wait. I got to get back to the film as well! (runs to return to the scene he is in in the film)
Attila:{Seeing the Chairman return}Nice to see you find time to take break!
TIME Chairman: Oh sure, I beat up a female censor, and'll probably get in huge trouble just because I hit a girl, all on your behalf. But sure, gang up on me for being slow. Now don't waste my efforts and finish them!
Attila: All right, all right, guilt trip!{He starts jumping and spinning around}
Loud: Okay....me and Froggo handled Stalin, World's Oldest Woman helped with Napoleon, Father Time did a bit, we all helped with Freud's things...who's turn is it now?
Miss Info: Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me! I know exactly what to use on him! He may be a big, dumb, dangerous tyrant, but I know one other thing he can't resist! Hit it!
{Music starts to play as she goes up to Attila}
TIME Chairman: Where did the 70's style soft music come from?
Miss Info:{Singing}They say that you won't take a bath
Until you've conquered all that's in your path
Ooh ooh ooh!
{Attila now looks more interested as the chairman looks on, confused}
Miss Info: And though you only know two chords
You're still the leader of the Hunnic hordes!
Attila:{"Singing"}Hun.
Me got you hun.
Me got you hun.
TIME Chairman: Cease this lame, overdone parody of a lame, overdone song, immediatly! It's not even your cleverest take on popular music!!
{Mr Smartypants pulls out a cannon from his pants as Miss Info continues}
Miss Info: Even though you're not that tall,
The peasants are all fleeing throughout Gaul!
So put your brutish hand in mine,
We'll loot and pillage 'til we cross the Rhein!
Ooh ooh ooh!
{She lifts Attila up towards the cannon, but he doesn't notice}
Attila: Hun.
Me got you hun.
Me got you hun.
{He is put into the cannon}
Miss Info/Attila: Me got you...hun!!
{With that, she backs away as the cannon is lit}
Attila: Wait...you no good as Cher parody! What ripoff is this?!{Finally notices where he is}Oh...me scre-
{He is cut off as the cannon fired and he flys far away}
Miss Info: I can live with not sounding too much like people for now, thanks!
TIME Chairman: Curse you and your idiotic ability to remember what he did on TV!
Scott: And now you don't got any more enforcers left to save you from going into intensive care!{They advance on the chairman}
TIME Chairman: Ha, shows what you know, which is quite tiny! Rough Guy, I'm finally ready to stop delaying our return home!
{Rough Guy comes into view with a remote}
Rough Guy:{Speaking for the first time with Stone Cold's voice}Let me hear you say Heck yeah!
Loud: What?{Rough Guy pressed a button, and soon all of them disappear from sight}
(We head back to TIME as the heroes and villains teleported in. However, they didn't noticed that they are now consist of different parts of each other)
TIME Chairman: Ha ha ha! You see! As simple as that, we are...(looks down) What? Darn it! I hate it when this happens! Hold on!
(The Chairman mumbles as he goes to a panel nearby and flips a few switches. He goes abck to the teleporter as the teleporting thingie happened again. This time they returned, back to normal)
TIME Chairman: I hate it when stuff like that happened. Nevertheless (holds up Time Stone) I got the Time Stone now! And the time has come to fused all timelines into one!
Loud: Mr. Chairman, you are a nut! We can't let you get away with that!
TIME Chairman: Sorry. You have no choice. (the guards appeared to surrounded the heroes) You are surrounded.
Froggo: (sarcastic) Oh gee. I didn't see that one coming. Not!
TIME Chairman: Perfect. My space station in space is operational. All it needs is the stone to be put in, aimed at the center of the planet, and boomed!
Sally: Wait, wait. You've built a space station??? We didn't know that!
TIME Chairman: Of course you didn't! You know how boring it for the audience to listened to how the space station fit in all of this?
Miss Info: Hmmm, even I won't messed that one up.
TIME Chairman: Soon, all of time will be under our control and things will get more creepy than usual. The time will soon be called The Year Of The TIME!
Pepper: Eeeew! Yuckosis!
Toast: Yo, that sucks eggs, man!
TIME Chairman: Hey, when time collides, it will be hot. HA HA HA HA! As for you heroes, you will wish you were never existed!
Scott: Where is my brother Nick?!
TIME Chairman: Oh you found your brother? You got him!!!
(The TIME Chairman holds out a remote and shows an image. To the good guys' shock, Nick is in front of some sort of Time Tunnel tied to a lot of stuff.)
Charity: What is that?!
TIME Chairman: A Time Tunnel. Anything that goes in there will end up in some timeline. I don't know where, it is usually at random. But one thing for sure, it won't be pretty especially when it involves what I have in store for Scott's dear old brother. I have him tied to a dummy. The ramming car of doom will come along shortly to send your brother into the Time Tunnel to who knows where. And to make sure Nicky does not try any escape, he will be tied to a lot of bombs that will send him atoms anywhere in time. He will also is strapped to a huge 20 ton anvil. And...(he pauses as he sees a pendulum of doom hanging overhead and gets annoyed) Oh, look. It's the pendulum of doom. What is that thing doing in there?! I didn't asked for it! (speaks into intercom) That's overkill, babe! Get rid of it!
(Genghis appears on screen sheepishly as he and Poe removes the pendulum)
Poe: I thought it would be more fun. Party pooper.
TIME Chairman: It's hard to get good help these days. (to the heroes) As for you, I got something planned, but first...Sigmund!
(Sigmund Freud appeared and takes the Time Stone in space)
Aka: Hey! How did you get out of the Time Within Time?!
Sigmund Freud: Simple. I slipped out when no one's looking. Now it's time I will do something to make my mommy like me.
WOW: Eeeewwww!
TIME Chairman: Ignoring that mommy part, take the stone in space right away. Destiny is approaching.
Sigmund Freud: Yes sir!
(The psychiatrist runs off)
Father Time: Quick! After the Woody Allen soundalike!
(The Histerians went after Sigmund Freud)
TIME Chairman: D'oh! Why didn't I have guards on them?!
Scott: Because you're an idiot.
TIME Chairman: We will see if you can still say that once I get through with you and your girlfriend. (to Sally) I know you're looking at me. I am hot, huh?
Sally: Eeew! Gross! I am just staring because I can't believed they let someone like you in charge!
TIME Chairman: Sticks and bones. Of course, I don't need any lousy sticks this time.
{Cut to Freud running through the halls of the TIME building, with the Histerians after him}
WOW: And here we go again with the running! I thought shrinks liked sitting down on couches!
Freud: Don't worry, it's almost over! As soon as I get through these doors that symbolize the loss of love!
{He runs through an open door, then it closes on it's own. The group rushes to get through before it closes, but only Froggo dives into the room on time}
Freud: Ha, success! Now to get into this spaceship that symbolizes man's inflated ego, and victory will be mine!
{He goes into a spaceship in the middle of the room, then the roof opens up. The spaceship then takes off without any trouble}
Froggo:{Tries to open the door, and can't get it open}Oh boy, this is bad...what would Nick Storms do? What would the Histerians do?{Pause}Wait, I'm an Histerian, my mistake...so what do I do in a situation I've never been in by myself? With no more hope of getting any help?
{He looks around, then sees another smaller spaceship nearby}
Froggo: Find another ship, remember all the stuff we found out about flying space stuff during research for the moon episode, and go stop the shrink, duh!
{He goes into the other ship and gets to the controls. He looks around, presses a few buttons, and then it starts to fly off into space}
Froggo:{Barely hanging on to the captain's chair}Ooof!! That kinda thing loses it's translation in research papers....{Gets back in the seat}Well, I lived through it, anyway...this is it, my chance to save the world all alone.
Loud:{V.O}MAN, THAT WAS SOME FAST TAKEOFF!! KINDA LOSES IT'S TRANSLATION ON PAPER!!{Loud and the others come in}
Froggo: How did you...
Charity: We shoved the door open, then we ran in here just before this thing took off. Didn't you hear us calling after you?
Froggo: Apperantly not...
Aka: Well, you just lucky you left the door open, aren't you? Now, how's about we all go beat down that crazy guy who talks to crazies, huh?
Froggo:{Pause}Well, why not?
Sammy: What kinda question is that? We're already on our way, it's too late to try and back outta it, believe me, I asked! I thought you wanted to be this close to the action all this time. Whiner...{Froggo shrugs as the ship goes further out into space}
(Back in TIME, Scott and Sally are chained up near Nick as fate draws near)
Scott: Well, this stinks. The Histerians are busy chasing the Woody Allen lookalike and we're all trapped.
Nick: You should talked. I am about to be knocked into the Time Tunnel by a crazy Mongul.
Sally: Scott, you got to do something!
Scott: How can I? So far, all I did was mess things up! Let's face it. I am no hero.
Sally: Well, you are to me. (Scott looks at Sally, making her blush) At least...
Nick: Look, Scott. You can do it. You have the advantage.
Scott: And what advantage is that?
Nick: The villains didn't chain you up properly.
(Scott blinks his eyes then realizes that he could get the chains off. He removes them from himself and Sally)
Scott: Why didn't you say so before?!
Nick: A cliche. What can I say?
Sally: Come on. Let's get you untied.
(As Scott and Sally tries to come over to Nick, a big box landed in front of them, causing them to stopped. The box breaks open as a lot of metal parts fall out. As Scott and Sally looks puzzled, the metal parts suddenly begins to moved, then begins to formed something.)
Nick: Okay. What is that?
(Once it is done, it towers over Scott and Sally. Scott gulps)
Scott: Hey, Nick? Remember when I told you that I always wanted kids?
Nick: Yeah?
Scott: I got one now, only it isn't what I have in mind!
(We now see what the metal beast is: a huge metal version of Big Fat Baby. It makes a big 'waaaaaa' as it begins it attack on Scott and Sally)
Froggo: I can't see him....I can't see anything past that moon!{Pause}Don't anyone say it...
Mr Smartypants: Don't we need to know that that's no moon, it's a space station?
Froggo: Not like people that said it 30 years ago, we don't....never mind.
{We now see the TIME space station is in view. Freud parks his ship at the top of the station and gets out with the Time Stone}
Freud:{On a walkie talkie, with a spacesuit on}I'm here with the stone! How does that make you feel...don't hold back, you've got plenty of time in this session.
TIME Chairman:{V.O}I have time, all right....at least I will when you put the stone in place and fire!
Freud: Right away....wait, once I fire, how will you be immune from being affected by the time changes?
TIME Chairman:{V.O}I have a good hiding place for that, trust me.
Freud: I thought we agreed in the sessions that hiding from your troubles was the excuse to empower your demons.
TIME Chairman:{V.O}My demons will be quite pacified once that ray is fired! And make sure our shield is over the station!
Freud: Oh, how'd you know the Histeria people were chasing me? Way to remind me to put on the shield so it can block all their attacks!
TIME Chairman:{Pause}Yes....I am brilliant and all knowing that way, aren't I?
Freud: You sound like you're holding back...
TIME Chairman:{V.O}Will you just stop talking to me and end the world as we know it already?!
Freud: Ooh, right!
{Freud goes over to a ray gun at the top of the space station, then presses a button. A shield then goes up around the station, with a little hole open for the ray gun to fire from}
Freud: I knew putting a shield up here, and having a little hole in it that'd let the ray gun shot go through it, was the best idea I've had in 150 years!
{The Histerians ship then arrives nearby}
Loud: OH GREAT, THAT'S THE HARDEST THING WE'VE HAD TO OVERCOME IN....MONTHS!!
Chit: Well, we tried, or were about to. You know, I can't wait to see how Leonardo da Vinci would get along with General Sherman, can't you?
Miss Info: The second guy would be rude with fire and the first guy wouldn't invent anything to stop him, right?
Froggo: Wait...we got one more option.
{On the station, Freud puts the stone inside the ray gun and it powers up instantly. He then starts to aim it at Earth, with the shot to come through the small hole in the shield. Inside the Histerians ship, Froggo puts on a helmet and spacesuit}
Loud: WHERE ARE YOU GOING....I MEAN, WHERE ARE YOU GOING IN SPACE?!
Froggo: Get those other conviently placed space suits on after I get in there!
Aka: Why we doing that?{Froggo prepares to open the ship door}I'm not wasting time asking again!
{The group all puts spacesuits on before Froggo opens up. He jumps out of the ship and goes towards the space station. Freud is ready to shoot the ray- but before he does, Froggo goes towards the hole in the shield and winds up getting stuck in it}
Freud: Hey, you're blocking my shot! Get out of there before I give you a massive bill for your session here!
Froggo: All right, I'll stop being stuck...you didn't say where I could go after that though!{He starts trying to squirm out}
Freud: That's easy, I don't want you anywhere near-{Froggo now goes through the shield and lands in front of the ray gun}Aw, I was that close to making it clear for you!
{Now the other Histerians jump out of the spaceship and head through the much wider hole in the shield to get on the space station with Froggo}
Freud: Ooh boy...you, you wouldn't advance on a guy who made people think they were attracted to their parents for over a century, would you?{They head for him}I thought as much...
(Back on Earth, Scott and Sally dodges the attack by the Metal Big Fat Baby who tries to grab or squash them.)
Sally: Terrific. As if the regular baby was bad enough. Now this.
Scott: Well don't ask me to change that thing's diapers. Heck, I don't even know what size that thing is.
Nick: Can you guys helped me soon? The ramming car of doom is about to make its approach in who knows how many minutes!
(Sally grabs a stick and whacks the baby. It pauses, then whines.)
Lydia: (appearing) Okay, that's enough.
Sally: You again?
Lydia: Lydia Karaoke, Network Censor. I'm sorry but we can't hit babies in this movie. It's not nice.
Scott: Oh come on! It's only a robot!
Lydia: It is also of that of our popular stars and we can't show that. (Metal Big Fat Baby roars. Lydia turns to it) And don't you yelled at me, young man! I have been attacked by one creep in this movie already! And I'm not going to be roared at like that!
Scott: (to audience) Folks, this may take a while. Why don't you check to see what the Histerians are doing.
{Cut back to space, as the Histerians advance on Freud on the space station}
Freud: Now now, we can talk this over....got any repressed fantasies you wanna talk about?
Loud: WE'VE BEEN PSYCHOANALYZED A BILLION TIMES BEFORE, SO YOU'RE A LITTLE LATE!
Freud: Gee, you'd think with that voice, your space helmet would break and you'd choke in the vacumm of space....oh well, that means I can do you in with this!
{He gets out a lightsaber like device}
Freud: Heh, never prepare for a big space battle without it.
Pepper: Wow, I can't believe we're gonna do battle with Obi Wan Kenobi, AH HA HA!!{Pause}Wait, I thought he was the good guy in that movie.
Sammy: All right, it's been weeks since we had a good one of these spoofs! I can't believe entertainment writers could be that neglectful! Now, go get your own lightsabers and beat him down!
Froggo:{Pause}We never used those things on the show, or anywhere else.
Mr Smartypants: If I had one in here, I forgot them.
Sammy: What kind of movie geeks are you when you can't remember to bring props for this?! It's only been spoofed 10 billion times, don't you know anything about tradition?!{Freud uses his saber to cut Sammy's pants down}Um....I have to hide somewhere now.
{Freud now advances on them, swinging his lightsaber around, and they have to dive when he gets too close. We then start to hear a chorus of humming to go along with the action}
Freud:{Pause}I'm sorry, what's that very distracting tune? I'm trying to, you know, slaughter people here, it's very annoying!
{We now see the Kid Chorus members together, humming all kinds of lightsaber action music}
Freud: Ow, you're hurting my ears with that! You'd think lightsaber action would be exciting enough without that screeching!{He swings his weapon again, but with no luck}
Charity: It's working, more action packed now!{The Chorus keeps humming more louder and action packed hums}
Freud: Will you quit it?!{The Chorus backs away from Freud's swings}This is so aggravating, I just wanna destroy time as we know it as I imagine Mommy wants it, is that so wrong?!
{He keeps trying to attack the Histerians, but is more and more distracted by the action music humming of the Chorus, until finally he throws the lightsaber away}
Freud: There, I'm not doing that movie anymore, can you stop paying homage to it's overrated music now?! Can we fight in peace?!
Aka: Now that you got no big bad weapons, sure, why not?!
Freud:{Pause}I believe there's a small chance that I made a slip. How very un Freudian of me to make such a sl-{He's interrupted as the kids push him back and he slams into the ray gun, getting knocked out}
Loud: THE SLIP, LUCKY FOR US, IS STRONG IN THAT ONE!
{Cut back to the top of the space station as the Histerians are looking through the ray gun, and find the Time Stone}
Charity: Hello, mr powerful stone we spent about 10 fight scenes to find.{Takes the stone}
WOW: Great, let's just smash that thing and we can get back to our galaxy!
Mr Smartypants: No, we can't just destroy it! It could still do damage to the time stream if it's broken, we don't know!
Miss Info: Then we leave it unbroken until the next time guys take it?
Father Time: No, we take it back to space with us, fly home, and make sure no one ever finds it ever again.
Aka: Just hide it away? Isn't that the same strategy that got everyone in this mess to start with?
Loud: All right, all right, we'll just take it home and continue this debate there.
Sammy:{Tying his pants back together with rope}We already abandoned ship, remember?
Froggo: That hole in the shield is still there, we'll just jump through it and go back inside.
{Froggo walks until he's below the shield hole, then jumps up and seems to float up towards it}
Froggo: There we go...
{Just as he floats towards the hole, a laser shot just barely misses hitting him and goes through the hole- and then blasts the Histerians spaceship to bits}
Froggo:{Swimming back down to the space station roof}What was that supposed to be?!{But then he, along with everyone else, sees that Freud is back up and just fired the shot that destroyed their spaceship}
Chit: Well, isn't he lucky that about 15 people couldn't see him get up just now?
Charity: And cause of that, we got no way home!{Freud snatches the Time Stone back from her}
Freud: I'm sure you can head back to Earth somehow...I can't say what exactly you'll be heading back to, but we'll see soon enough! Ooh, for a whiny little nebbish with glasses who rarely does good work anymore, I am quite sinister!{He puts the stone back inside the ray gun}
(Cut to a room in TIME as the Chairman is setting up)
TIME Chairman: Now this is a safe place. I will be tucked away while the rest of humanity gets evolved, so to speak. My perfect secret hiding place is as it always is.
Nick: (coming in) Well, you won't be safe for long!
TIME Chairman: (shocked) What?! How did you losers find this?!
Scott: Simple. You spoke out loud.
TIME Chairman: So I like to do that, big deal. Looks like Genghis and the robot failed in their attempt. But it won't matter. In the moment of time, ironically, all of time will ceased to exist and one timeline combined will be all that's left.
Sally: No way. The Histerians will take care of Freud while we take care of you!
TIME Chairman: Uh, yeah, right. You think I didn't come prepared? Did you? Come on! I know you can answer this one!
Scott: I will skip to the part where I kicked you to the curb.
(He is about to approached the TIME Chairman but Rough Guy appeared and blocked him)
TIME Chairman: And I will skip to the part where Rough Guy kick you to the curb. He is almost a former professional wrestler for the VVG. Who knew?
Scott: I am not afraid of some fake fighter! (Scott punches Rough Guy. It didn't fazed him. Rough Guy frowns and grabs Scott by the neck) Okay, now I'm afraid.
Rough Guy: It's time for the Rough Guy to give you my stunner! (slams Scott onto the ground and almost hurts him)
Nick: I thought you almost didn't talk!
Rough Guy: Almost, almost.
TIME Chairman: And so you two don't get any ideas, Tesla! Come in here and take care of these two!
(Tesla appears in a vehicle that holds his death ray)
Tesla: Thanks for the...call, master. They will be...great science pets...for my death ray! And no stupid kids or rough...things get in my way! (laughs a Christopher Walken laugh)
Sally: (scared) Okay, I have no idea why we used Christopher Walken voiced guy but I'm still scared.
{Cut back to space as the Histerians and Freud fight for control of the ray}
Freud: Gimmie gimmie, that's mine!
Loud: NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY!!
Chit: You know, those Vikings and Mongols can form into mobs very easily and snatch hundreds of things at once! But no, too easy for us!
{Cut back to Earth as Scott, Sally, and Nick group together against Rough Guy and Tesla's own death ray}
Scott: Well bro, if you got any special tips about fighting final battles, this might be a good time to share.
Nick: Just follow my lead, and that's the bottom line!
Rough Guy: How dare you use that line, turkey!
{Nick jumps up in the air and kicks Rough Guy in the face- though he doesn't move back much. Nick comes back down and keeps kicking for a bit, but it doesn't do much either}
Tesla: You mind me...taking care of that annoying sting?
Rough Guy: Take your best shot, skeletor!
{Cut back to space, as the Histerians keep trying to get Freud off of the ray, but he has a good grip on it. He holds on with his hands, while with his face, he pushes buttons to rearm the ray and aim it for Earth again}
Freud: Goodbye, stable time frame!
{Back at TIME, Nick keeps striking an unaffected Rough Guy as Tesla aims his death ray at him}
Tesla: Farewell, actor....this is for the 30 bucks I wasted watching your last movie!
Scott: No one mocks my brothers acting but me!
{Scott rushes Tesla and tackles him just as he fires the death ray. This causes Tesla to accidentally move the ray's aim and it hits Rough Guy- actually, the ray shot deflects off Rough Guy and winds up going back and destroying the death ray instead}
Tesla: No...not again, this is getting so-{The remains of the death ray now bounce off Rough Guy and crash into Tesla}old....{He goes down}
TIME Chairman: Curses, so hiring a scientist who fails at every evil device really wasn't the best call!
Sally:{Slapping Rough Guy but also not affecting him}Okay, that's one down, then...
Scott: He's gotta have some weakness!
Rough Guy: It doesn't matter if I do or don't....though I don't!
Nick: Well, I'm short on suggestions right now.{He pokes Rough Guy's ear}
Rough Guy:{Pause}AGGGHHHH!!! He hurt my poor ear!! How am I gonna hear anything with all that blinding pain in it?! You don't play fair, Mr spy actor guy!!{He rubs his ear, but keeps groaning in pain}You're a meanie!
TIME Chairman: You're....trying to prove you're funny, right?
Rough Guy: Our company's medical coverage will pay for my boo boo pains, right?
TIME Chairman: Medical....coverage?
Rough Guy: Argh, I knew I should have read the fine print on the contract, if I could read good! Fine, I'll go to a Time company that does have meds, good day sir!{He goes off rubbing his ear}
TIME Chairman:{Pause}Have you ever noticed that people come up with the lamest ways to do away with villains? I mean, it's an epademic of bad writing, isn't it?{The heroes advance on him}Isn't it?
{Cut back to the space station as Freud is about to fire on Earth}
Freud: I say again, goodbye Earth timeline!
Charity: This is it! What's the plan, Loud?
Loud: I, well....I'm sure there's one avaliable, but...
{Froggo then turns to Freud and looks at the scenery}
Froggo: There is one simple idea...
{He runs up to Freud and pushes him. He pushes the ray gun button, but the shot is now off course. As a result of the push, Freud and the ray gun are pushed forward enough so that they both fall off the space station and land at the bottom of the shield, destroying the ray with the remains crushing Freud}
Freud: Ugh...please tell me Mom wasn't looking...
{Cut back to TIME as the Chairman backs up from Scott, Sally, and Nick's advances}
TIME Chairman: Well....so what if you beat me to an inch of my life?! I'm still gonna rule all of time when I wake up! Your overrated, terrible at TV entertainment friends have obviously failed! The time stream is mine! All mine, baby!! So you take your B movie antics and shov-
{We then see the misfired laser shot fire at the TIME building- and directly hit the Chairman. He shakes around for several seconds as the others back away, and soon enough he disappears completly}
Nick:{Pause}Wow. Usually I have to hit them in the throat before they disappear from sight.
{Cut to some dark pit, where the Chairman soon appears in}
TIME Chairman:{Pause}Rats, and right in the middle of a good PG-13 comeback!! Is this my new world or something, what's going on, huh?
{Suddenly, the Lord of the Dead Hades comes into view}
Hades: Oh come on, I told them no new arrivals at this time, I don't even have a good "Welcome to misery for all eternity" speech prepared! The never of some inconsiderate dead people.
TIME Chairman:{Pause}You're a cool guy from Disney....are you telling me I'm in the Disney universe time stream?
Hades: Hey, go ahead and imagine me saying words I never let come out of my mouth, what do I care?
TIME Chairman:{Longer pause}I don't wanna live! I do not want to exist any more!!
Hades: Hey, hate to tell you that ship has sailed, but you seem to be having fun freaking out on your own.
TIME Chairman: I'm in Disney time!! Let me die before any mice or ducks show up!! AGHHH!!!{Runs around in panic}
Hades: Oy, even on my days off I gotta face the crazies....
(She hugs Scott happily making him a bit sheepish. Realizing what she's done, Sally let go and chuckles nervously.)
Nick: (hugging) Scott, great job?
Scott: Thanks. (He looks and sees a familiar spaceship about to crash-landed through the window) Uh, I think we should move?
Nick: (puzzled) Why? What's wrong with my house?
Scott: I meant from this spot!
Nick: (turning and sees the ship) Oh. OH!
(The three alarmed runs out of the way just as the spaceship breaks through the window. Upon entering, it stopped as it rammed into a wall. The door to the ship opens and Toast came out a bit dazed.)
Aka: (coming out) That's the last time we let you drive!
Toast: Dude, We made it here, right?
WOW: Unfortunately. We ended up crashing the thing.
Father Time: Aw, it's a rental. Besides, we put it on Sammy's credit card.
Sammy: Why must you torture me so?!
Scott: You guys! You're alive! What happened?
Loud: We did it. We stop the machine and saved all of time.
Miss Info: Plus we have our happy ending to boot!
Charity: Where's the TIME Chairman?
Nick: I guess when you obviously knocked the ray off course and it hit him. He disappeared. (pause) Well I guess all we have to do is carry his allies out of here and call it a day.
Pepper: Let's go Freud. We can bug him some more before we turned him in!
Lucky Bob: Into what? Hiyo!
Scott: (to Sally) Come on, Sally. Let's get outta here.
Sally: (blushing) Gee, sure.
Chit: I'm sure didn't see that one coming. NOT!
Loud: (to Froggo) Froggo, you were great.
Froggo: Aw, you're just saying that.
Loud: No! You were the main star. You saved all of time by what you did. Personally, we're glad to have a fellow co-star like you.
Aka: Yeah! That's my Froggy.
(Aka kisses Froggo making him blushed. Then we hear a voice)
Voice: CUT! That was great!
(The gang is then revealed to be on a sound stage. The whole thing was a movie all this time)
Sammy: Can we at least for once keep my credit card out of this? It's hard to stay an executive if I keep getting broke!
Lydia: Sammy, you're always broke. Get used to it!
Scott: What a great movie, huh guys?
Cho-Cho: I can't wait for it to be in print!
Lucky Bob: You are correct, sir!
(As the gang do whatever, Scott sees a familiar person talking to his agent: it's Tim Allen, the actor that is playing Scott (and himself) at the same time. Scott walks up to him)
Scott: Hey! (Tim turns) Remember me? The guy you got fired because you find me oh so predictable?
Tim Allen: Did I do that? (to his agent) Do I know this guy? I am not sure. I got a lot of bums fired. The one thing I know is that I fired some creep to take my place for the Santa Clause movies. I can't believed the 3rd one sucks so badly. I woulda let some cheap actor do the part and I woulda saved myself some dignity!
Scott: Oh really? Try to do so now! (Scott punches Tim Allen in the face knocking him to the floor. As people came to the actor, Scott turned to Sally) Shall we get out of here?
Sally: Let's.
(The two humans left as the Histerians talked among each other)
Loud: Well Froggo. Like we said before, we're impressed with your performance.
Froggo: Thanks. I didn't have a big role like this since Pokey's Rocky Horror spoof.
Toast: Dude, do not remind me.
Charity: Same here. The good thing is though you got equal part. We think we should give you more from now on.
Froggo: (eager) Really?
Fetch: That depends on the author.
Charity: So, anyone got any ideas how to end this whole thing?
Father Time: I believed I have an idea. (to the readers) Folks, you have seen a parody of "Looney Tunes: Back in Action". I like brand! This shall been...
(We see shots of each player in the story as we are about to end this thing)
Pepper: Histeria! HA HA HA HA!
Cho-Cho: Histeria!
Lucky Bob: (pencils up nose) Hiyo!
Scott: Histeria!
Sally: Histeria!
TIME Chairman: (in the Disney time) Histeria! Get me out of here!
Hades: Aw, shut up.
Her: Histeria!
Demi Moore: Histeria!
Stalin: (crying) Histeria.
Genghis: (trapped in a time period) Histeria!
Rough Guy: (rubbing his ear) Histeria!
Executives: Histeria!
Tim Allen: (dazed) Histeria.
Loud: HISTERIA!
Charity: Histeria!
Toast: (thumbs up) Histeria, dude!
WOW: Histeria!
Miss Info: (through megaphone) Histeria!
BFB: Gah gah poopy poo!
All: Histeria!
(We fade out as the story comes to end. We now see a lots and lots of credits (so to speak))
The End
CAST
Tim Allen: Scott Kelvin, Himself
Gillian Anderson: Sally Hughim
James Woods: TIME Chairman
Crispin Glover: Nick Kelvin/Green Storms
Kathy Griffin: Her
Demi Moore: Strip Lovo
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: Rough Guy
Tom Ruegger: Executive #1
Frank Welker: Executive #2
Richard Lewis: Commander
Jeff Glen Bennet: Time VP #1
Laraine Newman: Time VP #2
Billy West: Time VP #3, Director
Maurice LaMarche: Time VP #4
Christian Bale: Himself
Simon Cosell: Himself
VOICE CREDITS
Cody Ruegger: Loud Kiddington
Nathan Ruegger: Froggo
Laraine Newman: Charity Bazaar, Miss Information
Frank Welker: Father Time, Fred Moppel, Edgar Allen Poe, The Raven, Fetch, Guard
Tress MacNeille: World's Oldest Woman, Toast, Pepper Mills, Cho-Cho, Emily Dickinson, Super Ego, Josephine Bonaparte, Sappho
Cree Summer: Aka Pella
Rob Paulsen: Sammy Melman, Mr. Smartypants, Vladimir Lenin, Sigmund Freud, Id
Billy West: Chit Chatterson, Leon Trotsky, Genghis Kahn
Jeff Glen Bennett: Lucky Bob, Nikola Tesla, Napoleon Bonaparte, Ego
Maurice LaMarche: Joseph Stalin, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, William Shakespeare, Basho, Karl Marx
Fred Travalena: Julius Caesar, Marc Anthony, KGB Man #3
Luke Ruegger: Big Fat Baby, Metal Big Fat Baby
Nora Dunn: Lydia Karaoke
Jim Cummings: Attila the Hun
Paul Rugg: Nostradamus, Sergei Eisenstein
Adam West: Ernest Hemginway
???: Igor
???: Gregori
???: Mr. Ed Horse
With special guest appearances by
Kevin Conroy: Batman
Scott Menville: Robin
Gene Hackman: Gene Burrows
James Woods: Hades