(We fade in to a house somewhere outside of Burbank. Inside, a retirement party is going on for someone.)
Crowd: Happy retirement party!
Cop: Well, Ed. This is the best way to celebrate your retirement from the force, eh?
Ed: Yeah. And catching three of the biggest criminals ever. That is worth retiring for.
Cop 2: Oh yeah! Things are doing great!
Woman: (coming in with drinks) Who's for drinks?
Ed: I do!
Cop: After all this, what could go wrong?
(Suddenly an explosion occurred out of nowhere destroying a few things and killing some of the guests, one of them is the cop who just spoke. Ed, injured but okay, looks confused. Just then a figure in black came in.)
Ed: Who...who are you?
Figure: Your worst nightmare.
Woman: (injured) What?
(The figure takes a knife and throws it at the woman's neck, killing her instantly. He then grabs two kids and bang their heads together giving them major concussions.)
Cop 2: Get back! (shows some karate moves) I know karate!
(The figure kicks the cop into a glass collection causing his neck to break.)
Figure: So do I.
(The figure takes out a flamethrower and burns the rest of the guests. Soon only Ed is left alive)
Ed: Why are you doing this?!
(The figure comes up and grabs Ed by the neck pulling up to his eye level)
Figure: Because you have sentence 3 criminals to the big house. Not a best way to retire, eh?
Ed: What? They deserved to be locked up.
Figure: Not for the avenger for criminals.
Ed: Wait...I know you...you're...
(Before he could finish, the figure twisted Ed's neck snapping it, killing him. The figure lets go and leaves. He goes to a motorcycle parked nearby and sat in it. He takes out a checklist)
Figure: Well, another job done. What hero gets off next?
(He checks the checklist carefully, then he smirks as he sees it.)
Figure: Well, well. I wonder when I will tangle with them.
(The figure puts his checklist away and gets his motorcycle on. He then rides off leaving the house he just trashed and the guests he killed to burn. We fade out.)
{Cut to the next day, as we see Sammy Melman skipping down the lot}
Sammy:{Humming}La la la, I made a deal with a guy who saved my job and joked about taking souls, life is good! La la again!
{He goes into the H! studio}
Sammy: Come on guys, let's party down with the still employed man around here!
Charity:{Reading a newspaper, along with everyone else}Maybe later, we're busy right now.
Sammy: Wha? It's a bright day in 2004, you guys are still on TV and you still have me for company! Why waste it reading the news?
Froggo: We need to read this stuff to live. Don't you pay attention to stuff like this?
Sammy: I did a lot to keep my job so I wouldn't have to...whatever you're talking about that I avoided doing.
Father Time: We scout the news each morning to watch out for new villains after us. Every time they come after us, we're always unprepared and it ruins our day. If we read the news and find out about villains that might come after us, our day will still be ruined, but we'll be ready for it.
Sammy: Premptive worrying about evil villains that could come after us? I thought that Kerry guy said that was an evil thing to do. At least more evil than not celebrating job security!
Loud: HEY, I GOT SOMETHING!
Miss Info: What is it, Loud? Someone connected to one of our old enemies, a long gone Gene supporter, what?
Loud:{Holding up a newspaper}It says here that a cop who was retiring got killed at a going away party last night. A lot more people were killed with him too.
Aka: Do we know any of them?
Loud: No we don't....but mass murder like that is something that only our kinda villains usually do.
Charity: Why would someone kill lots of people we don't know before getting to us? Did he steal any money that he could use to kill us?
Loud: It says no money was stolen.
Father Time: Did anyone see who this guy was?
Loud: Apperantly all the witnesses were already killed. Some of them were even burned alive....
Sammy: Well....where does it say that every single flame burning lunatic has to automatically be after us? Let's not get a big ego and just assume that no villain's work is complete unless they kill the great and powerful us! Now that's being a jerk right there!
Pule: I guess we're due to have some evil maniac out there that doesn't wanna kill us....right?
Loud: Maybe. But in case there's some connection we're not aware of, we should be on our guard a little bit.
(We cut to a bar somewhere between Burbank and to where the figure came from. The figure stops as he got into the bar. He goes up to the counter. The figure has brown hair and a scarred face. He has pale skin as if it looks like some sort of skull.)
Figure: Excuse me, I need your strongest stuff.
Bartender: Okay, you got it. (gives the bottle)
Figure: And meanwhile, directions to a studio.
Bartender: What for?
Figure: I aim to pay a visit to a group of heroes.
Customer: Oooh. So you want to visit the Histerians eh?
(The customers come up to the figures)
Customer 2: Yeah. I mean, what? You wanna have them make ya laugh? Eh? Maybe you want to get them to tell ya stories on how they have beaten their enemies.
Figure: Screw off, home body. I'm drinking.
(The figure begins to drink)
Customer: (smirking) Oh I get it. You want to fight the Histerians? Forget it. Those washed out cartoon stars have beaten so many of their villains, they kept a list! I mean, what makes ya think you would take them, eh?
Bartender: Watch it, Goldie. You may not want to cause trouble.
Goldie: Yeah, yeah. As soon as sweetheart here gives me his coat. It looks better on me.
Customer 2: Yeah! What a son of a...
(Before he could finished, the figure punches him in the stomach. Suddenly, the figure grabs the customer who spoke by the neck and slams him on the counter many times, shocking the customers)
Figure: Listen carefully and tell me the truth. Are you a hero or villain?
Customer 2: (gulps) Well, I'm only a 2 time crook. I robbed convenience stores and was going to robbed this place.
(The figure glares at Goldie now)
Goldie: Don't look at me! I just rob houses! Honest!
(The figure scoffed as he lets the customer go)
Figure: Just so you know, I only killed innocents. The good guys. Those who has beaten the bad guys so many times. I am the avenger of villains, the one who take out the goodness.
Customer 2: Oh yeah. I think I heard of ya.
Figure: And soon, I am going after some...excuse me. (The figure gets a gun out and shot the bartender in the head just as he got his hands on the phone, killing him instantly) I don't want any cops nosing after me, you dig? I'm going after the Histerians. And if there are any good guys in here, unless you want some bullets in the head or worst, I suggested you keep you d**n mouths shut! The avenger of villains, Lenny Flame, has spoken.
(Lenny then takes his drink and spills it all over the counter. Throwing away the bottle, he takes a lighter out and lights the whole counter on fire. Then he takes his leave going outside, getting on his motorcycle, and driving off.)
Goldie: (pause) Well, there's one thing I like about that guy. I hope he guts those cartoon stars and give them what they deserved!
{Cut to the next day, outside the WB lot. We see Lenny on his motorcycle, largely hidden from view}
Lenny: Now then....does this call for riding in and firebombing the whole place, or some other approach?
{He looks around for a bit, then something catches his eye}
Lenny: Ah, there's one of them now....I do have some time on this one, so I can just start off by sending....a message to the rest of them.
{We now see Miss Info walking towards the studio, holding her megaphone}
Miss Info:{Talking into the phone}I'm walking, I'm walking back home after getting my phone cleaned, so now I can talk extra clear into it in case I ever need to use it again!{Puts it down}Great, it works just fine! So once the time comes that I ever need to get a job again, this'll be up and ready!
{We see Lenny's motorcycle riding towards her, but she either doesn't hear it or doesn't take notice. We then see Lenny get out a big sword as he comes closer to her, and prepares to swing it at her. But as he gets closer, Miss Info drops her megaphone}
Miss Info: Aw darn, I guess the cleaning people made it a bit too slippery, though.
{She bends down to get her megaphone just as Lenny rides by her and swings the sword, but instead of it chopping her head off it misses completly. He growls at this, and then turns back to the road just as the motorcycle now crashes into a parked car. Lenny flys into the air from the collision, but lands right on his feet nearby the car}
Miss Info:{Not noticing this}There we go, it's good for holding again. That takes care of that little chore!{She walks into the studio and past the crashed motorcycle. A few seconds later, Lenny walks back towards it}
Lenny: I should have known these people wouldn't make it that easy....guess this means I'll have to get more....creative.
(Cut to a library that is closed. That is until Lenny broke in. A guard is nearby...with a nail stabbed in his head while on the floor dead. The killer looks through some books carefully. He grins as he found something.)
Lenny: Perfect. A shrinking potion. It will take a while but I can make it.
(Okay, because we know how boring it is for the audience to see someone makes a potion, I will make this short.)
Lenny: Now, all I have to do is pour this in their food. Then they are all small, I will crushed them! It's perfect...and creative. (pause) Well, maybe not but hey, these Histerians aren't going to make their deaths easy.
{Cut to the studio, as a whole table of food is seen. Lenny is pouring drops of his potion into each bowl}
Lenny: There, that's the very last of it. It should be more than enough to get them all after they digest it....then, I'll be wiping blood off my shoes for the next few days, but it'll be worth it.
{He goes off and hides just as the Histerians all head towards the table and sit down}
Lenny:{Quiet}That's right, enjoy your brief last supper...
{He backs off a bit more to hide, but nearly trips on a tennis ball}
Lenny: Gah! Stupid thing...
{He kicks the ball away and it bounces around- attracting the attention of a nearby Fetch}
Fetch: There you are, I thought I lost you! Well, we won't be apart for another long 2 hours again!
{The ball bounces towards the table and Fetch runs after it. Just as the Histerians are about to start eating their food, Fetch dives for the ball. He jumps too high though, and winds up landing on the table and walking through all the food they have before falling back on the floor}
Fetch:{Dazed}Did I get it?
Aka: In a matter of speaking....you're getting something for wrecking all our food, all right.
WOW: Well, time to throw every piece of this stuff out. That means it's my turn to cook replacement food, so this could be a win after all!
Loud: Actually, the hunger might not be so bad....
{They keep discussing as they start to take all the food away and throw it out. Lenny watches this in shock}
Lenny:{Quiet, but angry}Aw, since when did it become sick to eat food that has dog prints in it?! What's with these people?!{Growls}That's it, enough with the smart stuff, back to the usual brute force now!
(Meanwhile in the studio the MST3K cast came into a room talking.)
Crow: So Mike, is it true the Simpsons movie will be coming out?
Mike: Well, that is what I heard. It is supposed to come out in 2007...of course, that is what I heard.
Tom Servo: I sure hope they have that hot Marge in it. Meow!
Mike: (chuckling) Tom, face it. They will.
(They see Harry Norman approaching)
Crow: Oh, hey, it's that doctor guy who don't usually hang around here. Hey Geoffrey Rush!
Harry: No, it's Harry. I took a week off to work on some products so I thought I could come visit my friends.
Tom Servo: Geez, with your status with them since 1999, you shoulda been a honorary Histerian!
Harry: Maybe.
Mike: I love the new look, BTW. You got a zit on your face.
Harry: (puzzled) A zit? I don't got a zit.
Mike: Yes you do. (pointing) It's on your face.
(Harry looks and sees a red dot on his face. Then he realized it is not a red dot at all: it's one of those lasers used to aim for target.)
Harry: EVERYONE DOWN!
(The group ducks as a rocket went by where Harry was at and destroyed a wall.)
Tom Servo: Hey cool! We're doing a Die Hard movie! About time they got to the sequel though it's too early, don't you think?
Harry: 1, the sequel is not out yet. And 2, someone is trying to kill us!
Crow: In first, in first!
(The group runs to dodge gunshots. Nearby, we see Lenny cursing)
Lenny: D**n it to h**l! Well, you got away that time, Dr. Norman. You may not be an original part of the cast but you were with them since November 1999! I will get you and those Histerians if it's the last thing I do!
Harry: (looking out) You know what, pal? You speak too loud. You gave away your plan.
Lenny: (pause) Oh crap.
Mike: And we can see you.
Lenny: No you don't.
(Lenny leaves)
Crow: Wow! We didn't!
Tom Servo: So uh...which one of us should tell the Histerians?
{Cut to the studio as Harry looks around for the gang}
Harry: Hello? Fellas? I, um, kinda got something to report here...
{He looks around some more, then stops}
Harry: Hmm....it's suddenly getting a little sweaty in here....
{He turns around just as a big ball of fire heads towards him, and he dives out of the way. We see Lenny holding a flamethrower}
Lenny: I'll just burn 70% of you and only break 10 of your bones to finish you off if you behave here!{Harry instead runs off}You really has no respect for your skin and bones, do you?!
{He shoots the flamethrower again and another ball of fire heads for Harry. He narrowly dives out of the way and lands on the floor, where he now sees the Histerians}
Toast: Hey, it's Harry! You'd be late for dinner if we were having it though, dude.{Pause}Say, did you bring a barbeque here, cause it got sweaty all of a sudden.
Harry: Funny, well not so much funny as it is cause for panic, story behind that...
{Just then, some noises are heard, and the ceiling behind them begins to get set on fire. It soon starts to collapse, and soon the entire area of the studio behind the Histerians starts to break. Debris starts to fall, forming a wall that blocks their way out. After the dust settles, a figure comes out in front of the wall- Lenny with his flamethrower}
Harry: Well....clearly actions spoke louder than any of my words just now.
Lenny: Hee haw! Time to do some major a** whooping!
Lydia: Excuse me! You can't say that language! There are children present!
Lenny: Oh screw off! I said it in front of kids that I killed and no one stop me before!
Toast: Huh?
Loud: So you are the guy that killed that retired cop and his guests!
Lenny: And you are my next victims. You heroes make me sick. You think you could beat up on all the villains and you are invincible, eh? Not in this case!
Aka: Boy, someone needs some help.
Lenny: It's time I have me some flaming Histerian!
(Father Time quickly grabs Big Fat Baby and held it in front of them.)
Father Time: Everyone, cover you noses!
(Nicolas uses his flamethrower just as BFB...did his business. Suddenly an explosion occurred sending Lenny clear out of the studio.)
Lenny: You haven't heard the last of me! (crash-landed in some trash cans) Ouch.
(Back in the studio, the flames are out while the ash-covering Father Time held up Big Fat Baby who is giggling)
BFB: Gooie pie, gooie pie!
Sammy: Ha! Told ya he's our biggest star! Well, smallest. We should keep him around more often.
Pule: That is what you said about some of our stars.
{Cut to some kind of war room, where all the Histerians are sitting in}
Miss Info: How long are we gonna stay in your night time lab, Smarty?
Mr Smartypants: Not that long. Some of our cameras still work, and I was able to get an image of our new "friend". I should use that to get a profile on him any second now.
WOW: And how are we gonna keep that friend from barging in here?
Father Time: I think we have the right protection.
{Cut to the studio, as we see BFB marching back and forth. He hears a stir, and then stands still and holds a hand up}
BFB: Goo ba halt!{Another stir is heard}Baba dooba foo!{The stirring continues, then he turns around and bends down}Cawa!
{A rat then runs by, and BFB sees it and wipes his forehead, sighing in relief that it isn't Lenny, and then goes back to marching. Cut back to the war room}
Sammy: Okay, lay it on us, what creep thinks he can take out us big dogs this time? Come on, tell us who this chump is so we can get him outta here before breakfast.
Aka: Since when have you been so....well, brave is the last word I really should use here.
Sammy: The forces of evil have already wasted their A list villains on us a bunch of times! By now we must have gotten to the low class B and C list types, so how hard can those be?
Mr Smartypants: Actually....beating the A list villains is the reason we're in this new mess.
Charity: What does that mean?
Mr Smartypants: If the files I got on this guy are right, it's not meaning anything good.
{He takes out some files and gives them to the gang}
Mr Smartypants: This is a guy who hates the idea of the bad guys losing. In movies, TV, just about anything. He's killed all good guys, even police, that he's targeted during his career. Anyone that's helped the most infamous villains of screen and real life....if he's even heard of them, they've gone down. He's never failed to get his heroic targets once....and that's why he's after some new ones now. Us....
Sammy: Uh....yeah. Who forgot to tell me about how deep the B list evil bench was now? That means if I flood this place with tears of fear, it's your own fault!
Loud: So he basically hates good people?
Mr Smartypants: It appears that way.
Charity: What did good people do to him? Did they stop an evil plan of his, is he an agent of some evil demon, what's the origin story here?
Mr Smartypants: That I'm still searching for....but until then, we don't have any real weakness to exploit here.
(Meanwhile in another building, Lenny sharpens his ax on a spinner as he scowls)
Lenny: Those good guys think they are so hot...well, when I get finish, I'm having an ax to burn.
(Lenny, finishing up, swipes his ax cutting an dummy that resembles Charity. He frowns.)
Lenny: Good guys have been the plague of my life for years. My parents...
(We now cut to a flashback when Lenny was a child. We see two hippie like crooks laughing as they shoot out their guns while escaping in their car with the monkey they stole.)
Hippie man: Oh man, what good loot we took this time!
Hippie woman: Yep. We have enough to last us a lifetime!
Hippie man: Our son is going to like it, right Lenny?
(We now see Lenny, who is a little child, nodding happily. Just then the car came to a stop. Cops have surrounded them.)
Cop: Okay, Joseph Flame! Give up! We got you surrounded!
Joseph Flame: Never, pig! We will shoot if we have to! Yo Sandra! Let's wipe out this trash!
Sandra: Yeah! Lenny, hide.
(Lenny nods as he ducks out of sight. His parents shoot at the cops like mad. The cops ducked the bullets while shooting back. For a while, it seems that the crooks have the better edge.)
Joseph: Ho ho ho! This is a well Christ...
(Suddenly he yelled as a bullet hits him in the middle sending him falling.)
Sandra: Joseph! (glaring) You son of a b***h!
(Sandra fires at the cop that shot Joseph, only to get shot in the head. She screams as she fell. Lenny looks horrified as he sees his own parents gunned down like that. His eyes is filled with tears and anger. He hid in the car, making sure not to get caught.)
Cop: Well, looks like we got the two of them, Ed.
Ed: Yeah. Wasn't there a third one.
Cop: Not sure. If there was, he or she probably got away. Let's put these bodies in the usual bags and take this car in for impoundment.
(As the cops begins to do so, Lenny hid in the car, angry and upset.)
(Flashback ends)
Lenny: Ever since that day, I hated good guys for what they done. I hid in that car until I managed to escape from the car impoundment later. I stole weapons when I can and trained myself. Then, when I was able to, I begin hunting down justice, including the cops that killed my parents. Every good guys I hated, especially those who defeated or killed the bad guys. The Histerians represent those I hated. (pauses) Well, I supposed I better get my grenades. I got a big night ahead.
(He goes to get his grenades ready, one of them labeled "Do not use until there is no choice".)
{Cut back to BFB marching back and forth in the studio. He stops when he hears another stirring}
BFB: Gooba halt!{He actually looks on the ground for any rats this time, then sees the shadow of a man}Ah! Haba!
Lenny:{V.O}I'm going in, baby. Just try and stop me.
BFB: Ok!
{Back in the war room, the cast can see a TV that shows BFB in the studio, then we see them cringe}
Aka: Aw, that was a big one!
Sammy: Oh, you'll still complain about it even when it's keeping the bad guy away, that's fair!
Pepper: Well, he's got to have peeled his skin off with that, at least!
Charity: I...I don't think it looks that way.
{The TV now shows Lenny coming forward, but now wearing a gas mask}
Miss Info: Hey, that's cheating!
WOW: Yeah, villains like doing that, all right, big surprise.
{They now watch Lenny walk through the studio without any trouble. BFB looks shocked, and tries to give it another go, but Lenny just pushes him away}
Lenny: Attention Histerians! Come out here now and you'll face a quick death!
Froggo: Like he really expects us to go into that place now.
Lenny: I fully expect you to come out here now, no matter the nose damage! I have grenades that will destroy this building, and eventually the door that leads to wherever you're hiding! Come to me now, and I won't start throwing them everywhere! Eventually one of them will get me into your hidey hole, I just won't be able to destroy your hideout and you with as many grenades left!
Mr Smartypants: If he came that prepared to handle the baby, I wouldn't be surprised if he has enough left for us.
Sammy: No way, I'm not coming out to be killed by him, if the baby doesn't do it first!
Loud: Oh, now who's ultra critical of his "talent"?
{An explosion is heard, which shakes the ground above them a bit}
Lenny: All right, that didn't blow open the way in, but something will soon! Be ready when it does....or actually, don't come anywhere close to being ready, then I can go home faster! Your call!{The TV shows him throwing another grenade, and another closer explosion is heard}
Charity: And it looks like we don't have that much time to make one....
{Cut to Lenny continuing to throw grenades all around the studio}
Lenny: Will one of these things blow open a door already?!
Loud:{V.O}WE WON'T LET YOU ANSWER THAT!!
Lenny: Huh? Where are you, show yourself so I can see your faces and cut them off!
Charity:{V.O}We'll meet you halfway! We've decided to surrender, but we're gonna do it in a slow way that'll give us time to come to terms with our deaths!
Lenny: I don't like the sounds of those words, so no deal!
{Cut to the war room where we see the Histerians talking in a microphone so Lenny can hear them}
Froggo: We're gonna vote ourselves off one at a time. With your vast skills and hatred, you really don't wanna kill us all at once, where's the joy in that? So we're gonna form a tribal council, vote the least popular one of us off, and send him or her to you to kill slowly. Then we'll vote off the next least popular, you kill that person, and so on till you're all done.
Aka: You get to kill each of us one at a time, and really savor it too! Isn't that just the right fate for evil good guys like us?
{Cut back to Lenny as he thinks this over}
Lenny: Why else should I agree to that...this could be a trick. I want you to send one of you out here for me to kill now, as a good faith gesture!
{Just then, Mr Smartypants comes out}
Mr Smartypants: Here I am....the smartest guy they have. If I'm willing to give up and they're willing to let me go, then that tells you we're beaten.
Lenny: Let's just see...
{Lenny reaches into Smartypants's pants and starts to strangle him. He does so very tightly, and then when his eyes close he literally throws him away. He then walks up to his body and examines it for a moment}
Lenny: Looks pretty dead....and that way of doing it was very satisfying. A drawn out death without the benefit of instant pain is all your kind deserves.{Pause}Do your tribal council and send me a new victim in 3 minutes.
Loud:{V.O}YOU GOT IT, FUTURE KILLER!
Father Time:{V.O}We've already written down our votes for the person we want to see dead next! It's just a matter of counting them up!
Sammy:{V.O}Count my vote first, it's a doozy!
Father Time:{V.O}Okay....okay, I see a few candidates already in contention. Yes...ooh, I didn't expect this one to factor in so soon. I see....well, it was inevitable. Okay then...the tribal council has spoken. By our vote, we will give you the name of our first sacrifice.
Lenny: Lay it on me.
Father Time:{V.O}All right then. According to our vote, the one we want you to kill first...is....
{Before a name can be read, we hear static}
Lenny: What kinda nonsense is that?! Do you got technical difficulties back there?! Fix it and then give me my next body!
{We pan down to the war room- and then see all of the Histerians leaving through an exit. Including Mr Smartypants}
Mr Smartypants:{Whispering}I almost didn't think my robot clone would die so realistically.
Miss Info:{Whispering}He did great....or at least I'd think it would if I didn't cover my eyes when he did it. Even killing a fake you is way too creepy.
Charity:{Whispering}That static won't fool him for long. When he doesn't get a body, eventually he'll figure out how we stalled.
{We then see the Histerians open a door, and head back outside into the lot}
Froggo: But by then, we'll be long gone.{They start to walk away through the lot}
{Cut back to Lenny as he keeps waiting}
Lenny: Tribal council!! I want the results and a body ready to get snuffed! Now!!{He walks off to the fake Mr Smartypants body}If you do, I promise I won't do this to you!
{He takes a knife out and slashes it across the body's throat- but that only exposes the robot parts underneath}
Lenny: What?{He rips off more of the skin and now sees it isn't real}What a rotten hero trick....BLAST YOU SOON TO BE BLASTED GOOD GUYS, WHERE ARE YOU?!!
Susanna: How long do you supposed he figures out that...
(Suddely an explosion nearly knocking the heroes down. They look and sees a ticked off Lenny coming out.)
Pule: I say...right now.
Lenny: Okay, I am p***ed off! I think it's time we end this!
Lydia: Hey, watch the language!
Lenny: Sorry, censor, but I don't play that. Too late your R6 isn't here.
Lydia: Darn. I knew giving him the week off is a dumb idea.
Lenny: I will now begin the ending of your lives.
Toast: Dude, I don't get it. What's your beef with us? As well as the...well...uh...
Lenny: If you wanted to say "good guys", YOU GOT IT! The good guys have been a pain to the villain side for years, either defeating them, sending them to prison, humiliated them, or killed them! You Histerians has shown all of that! I am the avenger of villains everywhere, Lenny Flame!
Charity:...And that is your only beef with good guys?
Lenny: You see, good guys killed my parents! They were crooks whose only crime is to get a better life for themselves and me. Tell me, is that fair? Tell me!
Loud: Your parents were killed? Gee, I'm sorry. I wish we were there to help.
Lenny: Well that wish isn't granted! I hated good guys every since and won't rest until they are hunt down and killed one by one! Continuing with you freeloaders!
Tom Servo: Oh come on! Just because we sat in a theater and made fun of bad movies, doesn't mean we're freeloaders!
Mike and Crow: Denial.
Tom Servo: Shut up!
Harry: Look, Mr. Flame. I'm sorry about what happened to your parents. But seriously, you don't have to do this. Just stop it right now and we will get you some psychological help.
Lenny: Sorry, but the old "say dramatic words to turned the villain good and letting them go" trick won't work! You all got Hades to pay and so, it's time for you all to go to Hades!
Miss Info: Okay, that's it! What is it with villains saying that we should go to Hades?! I mean, we are good people and we y'all could go up to that big lot in the sky when we died, right?
Lenny: Don't give me an excuse to killed you first, lady! (pause) Then again, Gene hated you first next to that loud brat so I think I will. (pulls out gun)
Loud: Wait! Don't do it!
Lenny: You're right. (points gun at Loud) I think I will shoot you first.
{Loud cringes as the trigger is pulled- but he doesn't go down, and in fact a mere clicking sound is heard}
Lenny: What the [bleep]?! Don't you tell me this thing is out of bullets!!
Loud: I, um, wouldn't know for sure since I can't examine it for myself.
Lenny: Oh no, I'm not letting you have it and put your own bullets in!
Charity: Why would he have real live bullets?
Sammy: A lot of our ordeals would have ended quicker if he did.
Lenny:{Keeps pulling the trigger, but nothing happens}Argh!! Shoot something outta here, you little! Kill already!!
{He bangs the gun against the ground over and over, and still nothing comes out. He then steps on the gun over and over as the Histerians just watch him. Finally he picks it up, and notices something}
Lenny: Oh...this is the one time I actually put the safety on.{He takes the safety off}Now, I'm firing this thing and it's gonna kill someone!!
{He smiles evily- but in his rush he actually pulls the trigger while the gun is aimed at him. The shot gets him in the chest and he goes down and out}
Aka: You know, I'm starting to think this guy isn't as competant as those files made him out.
Loud: I'd actually prefer not to let him prove us wrong right this very second, though.{They get away and leave Lenny lying there}
(As the Histerians left, none of them saw Lenny getting back up.)
Lenny: Good thing I made sure to put on bullet proof chest before I left. Grrrr! Those d**n Histerians. Fine. No more mister nice guy! It's time I get serious!
(He gets up and runs. Cut to the Histerians who were walking away. Suddenly they heard a familiar voice.)
Pepper: AHHHHH! What's that?!
Harry: Hoo boy. I think we may wrote Lenny off too soon.
Lucky Bob: Huh now?
Toast: What do you mean? This isn't a story.
Charity: He means everyone out of the way!
(The Histerians got out of the way as a certain Lenny rides pass swinging around a chain on fire. He almost got them.)
Aka: What the diddy-o? Who is he trying to be? The Ghost Rider?
Sammy: Ha! Not really. Though I think they are going to make a movie out of that guy someday.
Lenny: You have deal with the flamethrower! Now deal with the flamers!
(He then turns his motorocycle around then pushes a button. Spikes appeared all over the bicycle.)
Lenny: Let the goodtimes rolled!
Froggo: Great! It's just our day!
(The Histerians run while Lenny goes after them in pursuit.)
(The Histerians goes in a building. Lenny stops his motorcycle as he grins evilly.)
Lenny: Oh this is too easy. This is the same place they almost lost most of their allies to Judge Doom. Well, it will be the same place where they lose each other...for real.
(Lenny got off his motorcycle and then gets something. What he takes out is a bazooka-machine gun combination weapon.)
Froggo:{Whispering}Can't we just jump on this guy and outfight him? We got as much experience as he does and we outnumber him by a lot.
Toast: You wanna go take those big guns away from his big gun arms, be my guest, dude.
Loud: Let's split up for now. Even if he gets some of us, we'll have enough left to sneak up on him.
{The group splits up into different groups and hides as Lenny marches in}
Lenny: Come out now and you'll have enough time to settle into Hades by morning!{Pause}No? Well then....you must be confident in your hiding places. It'll take me all night to search this whole building to find them all, I could be too worn out to finish the job. But then again....
{He fires his big gun into the air, which blasts a big hole into the ceiling. The debris lands on the ground, very near where Loud, Charity, Froggo and Aka were hiding}
Lenny:{Pause}I guess that wasn't it....perhaps this'll do?
{He fires his gun at the roof again and it blows another hole right next to the first one. This time, some of the debris lands on the kids, and they groan in response. And this time, Lenny hears them}
Lenny: Bingo!
{He now sees the kids, and immediatly gets out a long metal chain. Using it like a lasso, he throws it at the kids and it wraps around them, then he pulls them right towards him as they are now tied up}
Pepper:{V.O}AH HA, he got the biggest heroes first! What chance do we have now?!
{Lenny turns to the direction of the voice, then throws another chain in the area and catches Toast and Pepper with it}
Toast: They just got a lot nastier, I guess.
{Lenny pulls them into view, then gets his gun and starts firing into the roof again. Once he hears some of the others make noises, he gets another chain and uses it to ensnare more of the gang. He then sees some of the adults running away, and fires at the roof. The debris that falls stops them in their tracks long enough for Lenny to get another chain and use it to capture them. Soon enough, he's got them all, as there are 5 chains that are tied around 2 or 3 of them each}
Lenny: Now, if there are no more delays....we can finish this mission.
Lenny: Oh, this is silly, I've got everyone they've got already! Even if I don't, it's probably no one big or important! I'll kill them after I kill their friends, it'll be much easier that way.
{He goes back towards the studio, but then JusSonic gets to him}
JusSonic: Is it you? Could I be so lucky?
Lenny: You're not so far, get outta my way or else!
JusSonic: Oh it is! Lenny himself! I've wanted you to take my case for so long!
Lenny: Case?! I'm kinda busy right now, jerk!
JusSonic: That's right, I am a jerk! I kick puppies and smack babies and smack people that act like babies for a living, even girls! I mean I'm b-b-b-bad! But my rights are being violated by the forces of good! I heard you're the guy to turn to for that!
Lenny: I don't "take cases" or sissy stuff like that, I go where the good guys are and destroy them. Speaking of which, move!
JusSonic: Listen you sick twisted sob, you destroy some good guys for me or I'm cutting you down, got it?!
Lenny: You....dare talk down to me? When I can snap your neck with only three of my fingers?
JusSonic: Um....that would prove I'm evil and nasty and rotten enough for you to defend against good, right?
Lenny:{Pause}Or it just means you're insane. It's a close call. I suppose I can talk to you later when I'm done here.
JusSonic: It can't wait, you haven't heard just how sickeningly good the people I want dead are! You stay right there while I lay out the dirty squeaky clean details!
{Back inside, Robert has finished helping the Histerians slip out of their chains}
Aka: Freedom once again!
Sammy: All right then, where to hide next? Somewhere near some dollar bills, maybe?
Charity: Maybe we could find a way to end this now, so we don't have to run around for the rest of the night.
Loud: This guy just keeps coming, though. If he's that obssessed with killing us for being good, what's gonna make him give up, other than us turning evil?
Pepper: No way, I'm not turning evil! No one signs your autograph book when you're evil! At least they eventually give up if you're good!
Robert: Let's see if we can quarterback a solution before Jus can't tell him a good story anymore....
(Meanwhile JusSonic continues talking to Lenny, getting on his nerves some more)
JusSonic: Besides, some of them will be going after a treasure and will prevent me from using it for greed and such. You got to take care of them while I steal a document that has clues on it and...
Lenny: D**n it! Why am I talking to you? I should be killing the Histerians at this point and right now, I'm looking for someone else who could be here and...(pauses) say, wait a minute. You wouldn't be trying to distract me, would you?!
JusSonic: (pauses) Well, now that you mentioned it... (punches Lenny in the face surprising him, then quickly tosses him into a box, and closing it) yeah! That should...
(Suddenly a punch came through the lid of the box, a growl coming sooner.)
JusSonic: Uh, I'd go see how my buddy is doing! Bye!
(He runs off while Lenny is continuining to break his way out. We see him returning to the Histerians)
Robert: Looks like that didn't last long.
JusSonic: Anyone got any new ideas?
Pule: No, not really.
Charity: We got to stop him but how?
Toast: Turning evil is so out of the question.
Robert: Hmmm...hmmm...I think I got it. Smarty, did you still have those guns from that incident in Washington D.C..?
Smartypants: The ones Gene's army uses to shoot out nets and stuff? Yeah. I have them, why?
Robert: Does it still have that suck mode?
Smartypants: Yes...
Robert: Good. Okay, I got a plan but some of you guys need to distract him long enough for it to be executed.
WOW: (shuddering) Please, don't say executed again.
Mike: Yeah. No more executed talk, okay?
Robert: Just distract him and no one will be executed.
{Cut to the box as Lenny's arms have broken out, and are starting to tear the box apart to shreds. Finally, it is destroyed and Lenny comes out. He growls loudly and takes out an entire arsenal of guns and weapons}
Lenny: Now everything within 100 feet of them gets destroyed, just in case!!
{He starts firing his guns all around the lot and blows holes into several studios, but none of them are the ones the Histerians are in. He then runs forward to blow up more- then is tackled by the kids, who swarm all over him}
Lenny: Get off me! You're losing your chance to die with dignity!
Toast: Cah, as if that mattered by now!
{Lenny drops his guns and gets out a knife. Charity is holding on his head, and as Lenny aims the knife at her, she jumps off and Lenny barely stops himself from stabbing his own head. Charity then jumps back onto his head}
Lenny: Great, clearing stabbing or shooting or hitting myself isn't gonna do anything!
Froggo: Darn, I thought he'd have figured that out when it was too late.
{The kids pretty much cover his whole body, and Lenny tries to pull them off but fails. He finally falls down on his back, and also on a few of the kids, then starts to roll around the ground. This makes the kids dizzy and a bit hurt from being crushed, and eventually they finally let go of Lenny. Once he sees no one is on him now, he runs back to his weapons and picks them up before the kids get up}
Lenny: No....more...delays. Die now.
Father Time:{V.O}Feel like finishing us off first?
{The adults now step into view, holding the guns used by Gene's army in Another 24 Hours}
Lenny: I'll be with you in a moment, actually.
Mr Smartypants: We almost hoped you would say that. At least you can say you had your chance to surrender, but...
{The adults fire their guns, but it doesn't fire any bullets or lasers- in fact, it starts to suck the air. And in a little while, it starts to get to Lenny's weapons. A few of the guns are sucked inside the adults weapons, and soon weapons that are in Lenny's pocket are being sucked inside too. The chains that were used to tie up the Histerians are also going into the guns, and soon all of Lenny's weapons have been sucked away}
Lenny: No, no!!{Pause}Wait....there's still one you can't take away before I get you!!
{He runs off and gets his bazooka-machine gun combination weapon. He fires at them, but the laser blasts just get sucked into the a few of the adults guns, and they throw them into the air before they blow up. Lenny moves out of the way before any debris hits him, and then his gun is sucked up by a gun held by Mike anyway, but it's too big to go inside. So Mike throws that gun away, and soon it explodes as well}
Lenny: You lunatics destroyed all my weapons!
Robert:{Still with a gun}That kind of makes this part a bit easier.
{He switches the mode of the gun and now it fires a net, which traps Lenny inside}
Cop: So this time you're giving us....a gun to arrest?
Harry: Just lock it in a cell and never fire it, and we'll never have to explain it any further to you.
Cop: Okay....most of the other guys you let us arrest escape anyway, at least this one doesn't have legs.
Lenny:{V.O}This is murder! MURDER!! Murder of my rights as a hero killer!!
Cop:{Pause}Talking gun.....well, that's a new one. You guys were starting to have stale enemies, this changes that for now.
Loud: Take the new one away, and let's hope this is the last non stale one for a while.
Lenny:{V.O}You're all guilty!! First I'll kill you cops, then the people who give you your paychecks, and anyone else connected to this web of goodness!! All your skulls only have a little while left to not be lit on fire!! LIT ON FIRE!!!
Cop: Geez, isn't this an over the top talking gun?
{The cops lift the gun and take it to their car, then go off}
Miss Info: Well, as far as bad guys go, at least this one didn't hurt us too bad. No lasting scars to our souls or personality or nothing!
Charity: Eh, could have been better but could have been worse.
Froggo: So, back to cram in what we missed out on doing in the last few hours, or just go to sleep?
JusSonic: We can make that up tomorrow.
Robert: Yeah, I'd kinda like to get back to my old room, it was a long cross country drive here.
Loud: All right, see you guys tomorrow, business as usual then!{They shrug and head back to their studio, with Sammy still behind}
Sammy: Oh yeah, walk back like it won't take hundreds of thousands of bucks outta my pocket to fix your studio!{He looks around and sees the damage done to the rest of the lot}Ooh....actually, compared to the millions Plotz will take outta my pay for this, hundreds of thousands is nothing....just know that you're lucky, though!
{Cut back to the police car as it drives off, with the gun in the backseat behind a seatbelt}
Lenny:{V.O}It's not over, heroes!! My kind will prevail!! You're all gonna die!!
Cop: They're not even here anymore, geez....how overboard can you get?
Lenny:{V.O}Hey, this is my first defeat, don't confuse my first "I'll be back" villains speech with the facts! Not the right time for that, man!
Cop: Whatever, don't blame the downfall of your career on me...
{He chuckes as we hear Lenny growl, then the gun moves around a bit as we fade out}
Cast list
Nicolas Cage: Lenny Flame
Cody Ruegger: Loud Kiddington
Laraine Newman: Charity Bazaar, Miss Information
Geoffrey Rush: Harry Norman
JusSonic: Himself
Robert Doughterty: Himself
Frank Welker: Father Time, Pule Houser, Fetch, Joseph Flame, Ed
Rob Paulsen: Sammy Melman, Mr. Smartypants, Goldie
Nathan Ruegger: Froggo
Cree Summer: Aka Pella
Tress MacNeille: World’s Oldest Woman, Toast, Pepper Mills, Cho-Cho, Susanna Susquahanna, Sandra Flame
Nora Dunn: Lydia Karaoke
Luke Ruegger: Big Fat Baby
Jeff Glen Bennett: Lucky Bob
Michael J. Nelson: Mike Nelson
Kevin Murphy: Tom Servo
Bill Corbett: Crow T. Robot