The Weakest Link, continued

I'll continue my fic here, because it's getting pushed to the bottom! But, anyway, here goes!

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Anne: “Round 4, team. So far, you have not banked anything, so to say that you are doing terrible is an understatement. There are five of you left, another ten seconds off the clock. We start with the strongest link from the last round, that’s Charity. Let’s play the Weakest Link! Start the clock. Charity, what conflict took place in the United States in the years 1812-1814?”

Charity: “The war of 1812 to 1814?”

Anne: “Nope, the War of 1812…”

Charity: “That’s what I said!”

Anne: “No, you said ‘1812 to 1814’ when the correct answer was just ‘1812’.”

Charity: “But why call it the War of 1812 when it was fought over the span of three years?”

Pepper: “Will you hurry up, or what? I haven’t answered a question here since the Stones made their debut!”

Anne: “Let’s just move on. Cho-Cho, in what manner was the Greek philosopher Socrates sentenced to die?”

Cho-Cho: “Oh yes! I know! It was by drinking hemlock!”

Anne: “Corre…No, incorrect! It says here, that it was a double mocha la…Okay, who wrote this question?”

(Camera flashes to Lydia Karaoke.)

Lydia: “Hello! Lydia Karaoke, network censor and question writer here! I had to change the answer to that question because we cannot have any references to poisonous beverages on this show. Also, the changing of the hemlock to the latte is an educational reminder that coffee as a whole is terribly unhealthy.”

Anne: “But Ms. Karaoke, you can’t re-write history like that!

Lydia: “Why not? It’s never stopped me before!”

(Camera flashes to Christopher Columbus)

Chris: “Yeah, don’t I know that!”

(Camera flashes back to Anne.)

Anne: “What is going on here? Neither one of you two are supposed to be on this show!”

Lydia: “Well, doesn’t the network censor deserve a little air time?”

(Jingle plays.)

Anne: “Time is up! And thanks to your brilliant network officials, you again banked nothing. Who does not even know that they are awake yet? Who is an expensive waste of space? It’s time to vote off the Weakest Link.”

(Jingle plays.)

Narrator: “Cho-Cho is the strongest link, as she technically got a question right. The weakest link is Charity. But who is the team tired of?”

(Jingle plays.)

Anne: “Voting over, it’s time to reveal who you think is the weakest link.”

Pepper: “Charity!”

Froggo: “Charity.”

Charity: “Pepper.”

Cho-Cho: “Charity.”

LB: “Scranton, Pennsylvania.”

Anne: “Pepper, long time no see!”

Pepper: “Seriously!”

Anne: “And what’s Charity done to upset you?”

Pepper: “Well, I have to vote off somebody!”

Anne: “Do you use that same philosophy in answering questions? Do you have to answer something, even though it may not be correct?”

Pepper: “I don’t know! I am only on this show because my image consultant, Chit Chatterson, told me that it would be good for my career!

Charity: “That’s nothing! My agent, Sammy Melman, told me that this appearance would show the world my contagious personality.”

Cho-Cho: “Lucky Bob’s career advisor said that a Weakest Link appearance would demonstrate the intellectual side of him!”

LB: “Absolutely!”

Pepper: “Since when did Lucky Bob get a career advisor?”

Cho-Cho: “Well, after Big Fat Baby Theater, the poor little guy needed a job. So…”

Anne: “Could we get back to the game, please?”

Charity: “Must we?”

Anne: “We must. Charity, you are the weakest link. Goodbye!”

(Charity walks off.)

Charity: (In interview room.) “I am definitely not happy. Anne Robinson reminds me of a schoolteacher I had in Salem. Don’t ask.”