Well, guys, here we go....my first fic in quite a bit. And I have a BIG surprise for the villain in this....
...
(Fade in to a large room. We see a banner hanging from the ceiling that says COSTUME PARTY, and it does indeed look like a party. We also see most people are dancing to a slow dance...)
(We now pan in to Toast and Pepper. Toast is in a superhero costume-his brown mask resembles a giant peice of Toast, and he has purple spandex to go with his brown gloves and boots, and a picture of a peice of Toast as the logo on his chest. Pepper, meanwhile, is dressed as a waitress)
Pepper: AHA-AHHA! Isn't this romantic, Toast? I mean, here we are dancing and looking into each other's eyes....
Toast: (nonchantently) Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pepper: (expasterated, sighs) Toasty, come on! You've been so grumpy all evening! Why?
Toast: I'm missin' the big game between the Bulls and the Celts! You know I was looking foward to that!
Pepper: But Toast....it has been a LITTLE fun, right?
Toast: (rolls eyes) Well, yeah, but...
Pepper: And you could win a prize for best costume! (proudly) I hope you win, because I sewed up your costume by myself! AHA-AHA!
Toast: Well, it DOES fit nice! Excellent sewing, dudette (gives thumbs up)!
(Meanwhile, F. Time, dressed as Frankenstien, has gone onto a podium. He then starts to speak into a microphone)
F.Time: (taps mike) Hey, is this thing on? Has to be, or else I couldn't speak! (chuckling is heard) Anyway, we have TWO finalists for the best costume. The winner gets this gift-cirtificate for a year's supply of burgers at Greaseland!
Toast: YEAH! I'm gonna get that cirtificate!
F. Time: And you could, because you're one of our FINALISTS! Come on up, Toast!
(Toast comes up onto the podium)
Toast: I'm a shoo-in for this thing. Who's my competition?
F. Time: Pepper Mills!
(she looks excited, and comes up to a multitude of "ooohhhhs" from the other guests)
F. Time: Okay, guys, try to do SOMETHING to convince everyone why you should get the prize!
Pepper: Uh...I can give you all food if I win! (cheers are heard for Pepper)
Toast: Uh...I can save the world! (cheers are heard for him) And I'll....FLY for you guys!
(Audience murmurs, but then Loud says...)
Loud: DO IT!! (audience murmur agreement)
Toast: Okay! Watch and learn!
(He starts to rev up, and then takes a surprisingly high jump. Unfortuantly....his head hits the overhead light at the apex of his jump! He then shouts in pain, falls down and hits the floor-HARD)
Aka: (scared) Oh geez! Toast just got knocked off into slumberland! What do we do?!
Smarty: Everyone stand back! Give him some room!
(chaos then ensures...)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
(We fade in....to BLACK??!)
Pepper: (hearing only her voice) AHA-AHHA! Is Toast okay, Smarty?! I can't believe he tried to fly for us!
Smarty: (hearing just his voice as well) Just a whack on the head. But he's still knocked out....we better go and let him rest...
(footsteps are heard, then a door slam. A moment later, the black fades away to reveal the point of view from Toast....)
Toast: Wha? Where am I?
(He then sees he is in a bed, and in pajamas. He sees on a chair to his left the superhero costume worn the night before. On a table by the chair, we see a pack of flowers that say "YOU'RE STILL A SUPERHERO")
Toast: Wha...? 'You're still a superhero'....what's that suppose to mean? Mondo confusion! And THIS...(picks up costume)what does THIS mean?
(suddenly, he hears Pepper saying "Is Toast okay, Smarty...? I can't believe he tried to fly...")
Toast: Obviously, there's SOMETHING going on without me! This bites! But...the flying thing, the message....even the costume! I have to be....(looks shocked) a SUPERHERO?!
(stands there silent)
Toast: (suddenly smiles) COOL!! Excellent! I think I always wanted to be one!
(he looks happy for a second, but then frowns...)
Toast: But that means I gotta protect the innocents and stuff! Man....(unusually serious) but I gotta do it!
(he then picks up the costume, and stands by his bed...)
Toast: I am....THE TOAST!
...
Well, I really would like some comments now....just to know how I'm doing.
Can I help you come up with the some villians. We need criminals, mad scientist, crazed soceress, evil alien invading empire, and an evil corperate exectutive like Lex Lutor. Hey friend, I owe you from that Pepper Tot fan fiction. Thanks!
And thanks for helping me get my hopes back up of bringing Histeria! back on the air!
--Don Quixote in spandex. Pepper as his Dulcinea, maybe Pule Howser as his Sancho. I considered the Mr. Ed Horse as Roscinante, but he nearly kicked me into the feeding trough.
(We now see Toast getting into his uniform. After putting on the mask, he stops to admire himself in the mirror. Strangly enough, he does not look half bad in it)
Toast: You da man now! But how to get out of this place...? I need to do some crime-fightin'!
(he thens spots a window nearby)
Toast: Perfect! I'll try to thank these dudes for the hospitality later, but for now, duty calls! (he then jumps down the window and starts to run off...)
(A few minutes later, Pepper comes in)
Pepper: Toast...? Are you still-(sees the empty bed) AHHHHH!!
(QC to WOW, F. Time, and Smarty in a living room; all are reading. Upon hearing the scream, however, they are distracted from thier activity....and rush up the stairs)
Pepper: TOAST! (yells under the bed) TOAST! (yells into the closet) TOAST! AHHA-AHA! TOAST IS MISSING! (starts to rip out tufts of hair)
WOW: Hey! Stop that! (grabs Pepper; who's trying to get out of WOW's grip) Now what's all this fuss about?
Pepper: (trying to calm down) Toast...is....(screams in WOW's face, which is blown back from Pepper's shout) MISSSIINNNGGG!! AHA-AAHHH!
F. Time: Uh....guys?
Smarty: Yes?
F. Time: His costume's missing too.
(everyone else thinks about this for a second, but then it hits them....)
Pepper: What?
F. Time: (puts hand over face) Sigh....Toast is gone as well as his costume. Don't you think this means he thinks he's a SUPERHERO?!
Pepper: WHAT?! He could get hurt!
WOW: And knowing how crime is today, that could be the preferable option.
(Pepper starts to tug at her hair again....)
Pepper: TOAST! I'll find you! (starts to run out the door and into the streets) TOAST! TOAST! (cups hands over mouth) TOOOOAAAAASSST!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
(QC to a grimey alleway. We see Toast in his costume walking around)
Toast: (thinking) I can't just walk around and let bad guys know who I am! I need a secret idenity! But first, I need some normal clothes!
(he then sees a dumpster, and starts to wade through it)
Toast: JACKPOT! (whips out a blue T-shirt and tan cargo shorts; and soon puts them on) All I need is a name! Umm.....(he then starts to think hard....for Toast, that is) I know! John Smith! No...too easy....YEAH! Drew Carey! No, that's a celeberty.....uh....Oh! Sam Simon! Perfect! (thinks) Sam, that big noggin is gonna come in handy...
(suddenly, he sees several police cars and lots of individual cops screech by...)
Toast: (stopping a cop) Dude, what's the buzz?
Cop: Hey! I gotta go! There's a hostage situation at the bank!
Toast: Really? (thinks) My first test! I better get moving....
(QC to the bank. We see lots of cops around the front of the building, guns ready...)
(we now pan in to the bank. We see a POSTMAN (!) who has a crazed look on his face; he holds a gun and is pointing it at a group of huddled people, all of them tied up)
Postman: BWA HA HA! I'll show you all what happens when postmen get crazy about all those psycho mailman jokes! Hoohahehaha...
Hostage: (meekly) Uh....I don't think this isn't helping by your reputation by sticking up a bank, you kn-
Postman: SHADDUP (points gun to hostage's face)!
(QC to behind the bank. A figure in a blue and brown costume enteres a door silently...)
Crazy Guy: Now to kill one of you people...THAT'LL get them to know I'm serious! You'll do! (grabs same meek hostage) Say BYE!
Toast: STOP!!
(Everyone gasps when they see....TOAST!)
(the postman and hostages stay silent for a moment, but then burst out laughing)
Postman: WHA HA HA! YOU gonna do something?! HA! What a-
Toast: TOAASSTTEEEDDD!!
(Toast, then whips his cape off and pulls it over the postman; whilst holding onto him)
Postman: MMMPH! Gididofmee!!
(Toast then grabs the gun, throws it away, and then knees the postman-hard. He then, while still holding him, runs him to the front door-where the policemen are. Toast then shoves the postman out the door....into the cops! Toast, after making sure the postman is out into the outside, runs off into the opposite direction and out the back door.
(QC to the front of the bank; the postman is cursing angerly trying to get the cape of him)
Cop Sargent: GET HIM! (three cops grab the still encaped postman) How the HELL did he get out here?!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
(QC to a house; we see from outside it is evening. Pan in to see F. Time, Bill, WOW, and Miss Info; all but F. Time are on the couch)
F. Time: (bu a VCR) Now for the movie....(we QC close to him putting in a movie called CASABLANCA 2-THE SEQUEL YOU NEVER WANTED TO SEE into the VCR)
(But then....)
TV: (Suddenly showing the logo THE NEWS! on the screen) We interrupt this program to bring this special report!
(QC to an attractive female reporter)
Reporter: A bank robbery and hostage situation was stopped today by what reports are say a man in a costume. He supposedly took on the crazed criminal-a postman sick of psycho jokes-
(F. Time and Bill chuckle nervously; we flashback to a post office with the two and the postman)
F. Time: Want the letter? (holds a letter to the postman, who tries to catch it, but F. Time whips the letter just as soon as he's about to catch it) Heh heh heh! Want the letter? (the same scene is played over, but this time Bill falls over laughing)
(QC back to the present)
Reporter: -and using what are said to be clever techniques, threw his cape over the criminal, kneed him, and threw him out to the cops in a daring rescue. We now bring you some reports on what this masked man looked like.
(QC to another reporter with the meek hostage)
Hostage: Yeah! He yelled 'Toasted' and had on a blue and brown uniform! He had an image of a peice of toast on his chest! And his mask was made to look like a peice of-
(QC to the four on the couch, sitting there looking as if they saw a ghost. They then all yell simutaneously...)
All: TOAST!!
(Chaos then erupts a for a few moments as all jump of the couch and talk excitedly)
F. Time: HOLD IT!! Okay. We know Toast is okay. We know he did a very brave thing, but something like that has probably scared him....
(QC to Toast-now dressed as Sam Simon-in the same alleyway where he found his non-costume outfit.)
Toast: (dancing) YEAH!! ALL RIGHT! Mondo excellent! I did so cool on my first try, too! I am a first class sy-yoop-er HERO!! (calms down, looks at the alley) But...I better start getting this place lookin' like a place to crash for the night!
(he then starts too walk off into the town, but we soon see him looking into garbage cans and dumpsters. We QC now to him coming back into the alleyway with lots of various items in his arms, among them sheets, stools, and the like. He drops them into a pile.)
Toast: Phew!
(He then gets to work setting things up...
...by the time he is finished, we see that he has set it up into a liveable place, with a cot, several stools, and a large curtain. We also see another brown sheet; obviously a new cape)
Toast: Dude! The Toast hideout! All the cool superheros have one! (thumbs up to camera, then gets a dreamy look) Ya know, maybe THIS was the life I was meant to have. I mean, DUDE! I get to kick butt and get praised for it! And a secret idenity! This rocks! (yawns) Uhhm....man, better catch some Zs. I bet tomorrow's gonna be big...(gets into the cot. We soon hear nothing; Toast is asleep)
(Fade in to a new morning. We see Toast is all sweaty)
Toast: (wakes up) Gah! Oh, man...that dream...who were those people? Some red-headed babe, a old dude with a long beard, and some kid who shouts all the time! Weird! (thinks) Eh....it's probably nothing. Time to start a new day! (leaps out of bed, and into his costume...)
(We now QC very quickly through scenes of Toast beating up criminals. Each scene, though, Toast seems to be more stylish and clever about beating the baddies, and around the second baddie we see papers float by that say "SUPERHERO TOAST FOILS HOSTAGE SITUATION ONCE MORE and MAFIA BOSS CAUGHT BY THE TOAST, CRIME EMPIRE NOW CERTAIN TO FALL, among others. Finally we fade away from this to a tired Pepper coming into a house...it is evening once again)
(Charity, Loud, and Pule run up to her)
Charity: Any luck finding him today?
Pule: Yeah!
Pepper: (sniffs) No...where could he be? I wanna SEE him again! And I keep seeing him in the paper! WHERE IS HE?! AHA-AH!(starts to bawl)
Loud: Don't cry...I'M SURE WE'LL CATCH HIM!
Pule: Yeah! Uh...what he said. (points at Loud)
Pepper: Sigh...forget it...it's hopeless....(she walks by the trio in a depressed state, and drags herself up the stairs)
Charity: I'm not happy.
Loud: Make that for two of us! HOW THE HECK CAN HE STAY OUT OF SIGHT?!
Charity: I dunno...
Pule: Um...(think speaks at this point) Hey! maybe I could try finding him myself! (says out loud) Yeah! I'll find him! Oops...
Charity: (raises eyebrow at Pule) What?! You're crazy! (she, however, thinks, then speaks quickly) We'll go with you!
Loud: YEAH! LET'S GO!
(all three run outside. Fade to black)
(Fade in to the three going through a shady part of the city. It is very dark now.)
Charity: I'm not happy.
Pule: Me too. I'm hungry! And I wanna go to bed.
Loud: Sigh...come on...
(suddenly....a hand grabs all three into an alleyway! We see this hand belongs to a very tough looking guy....who also does not look friendly)
Guy: (breathing deeply) Oh god...you kids made a big mistake coming here....this is my turf! (whips out pocket knife, opens it up to a blade) You're gonna PAY!
(the kids huddle together as they move back into a corner. The guy smiles evily as he advances....it looks hopeless for the H! gang...)
(....when a mysterious figure falls squarely onto the guy's shoulders!)
Guy: HEY! ****! NOT YOU! (starts to struggle to pull the figure off)
(however, the figure now whips out his trump card-a large board. He smashes it into two as he slams it onto the guy's head, and jumps off...and the kids see he is in a cape and a blue-brown costume...who lands by a garbage pail. The guy curses as he tries to regain his composure)
Toast: Okay, man...three seconds to go! Three...
Guy: RRAAAGGGHHHHH!!! (starts to run toward Toast)
(the guy once again whips out his pocket knife and is getting closer to Toast)
Toast: Two...
(the guy is getting closer....)
Toast: One...
(the guy jumps; it's obvious he's about to land on Toast, but then...
...Toast grabs the garbage pail lid and holds it in front of him! The guy smashes into it with a CLANG, and falls down. He does not get up. QC to the still scared-but now shocked kids)
Loud: Toast...?
(Toast looks at the kids, and for a second his face drops its serious manner, and looks at the kids as if he has just seen them for the first time in years. It quickly goes back to its usual manner, though, and he runs off)
Loud: TOAST! WAIT UP! (the boys start to chase after Toast...but Charity holds them back)
Charity: HEY! Stop it! You wanna attract other goons?
Loud: But...we saw Toast!
Charity: And now we know where to find him. But let's go back home. No buts about it.
Loud: Sigh...okay...(the trio walk out of the alley)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
(QC to a house. Pan to a window. We see it opens, and then....PULE comes out?)
(he then throws down a rope made of besheets, and starts to climb down, but...)
(he gets out of the bush and we see him start to walk into the city. We QC to him going pass the alleywat the fight took place in, but stops to think for a second, and goes a bit farther....into another alley. This one, strangly enough, has a curtain covering it-Pule opens it up, but gasps at what he sees...it's the...)
(...the TOAST hideout!)
Pule: (whispering) Oh man! Waittilleveryonehearsaboutthis! (starts to dance) I get to save Toast, I get to...(starts to yawn, it's obvious he's tired)....save...YAWN....Toast....(he then climbs into the cot....)
(fade in to a close up of Pule sleeping in the cot. He wakes up....and screams!)
Pule: AAHHHHHHH!!
(we now pan to Pule's point of view, and see The Toast standing over looking at him. He doesn't look to pleased)
Toast: You gotta LOT of explaining to do!
Pule: But...bu...Toast! I was trying to find you and bring you back home!
Toast: (overwhelmed, puts hand on forehead) What?! (suspicious) WHAT home?
Pule: You know....back with all of our friends?
Toast: Sorry, big guy...I don't know whatcha talkin' about, 'cuz THIS is my home. (waves hand to hideout) Now....you gotta go! Shoo!
Pule: But....(starts to cry)
Toast: Hey, don't cry! Uh...
Pule: But it's dangerous here! I was just trying to help!
Toast: (rolls eyes) Yeah, yeah...(face brightens) Hey...you know, since you seem to know who I am, maybe you could help me...
Pule: Yeah! (face brightens) Uh....like be your sidekick? I wanna be a hero too!
Toast: (shocked) SIDEKICK?! No, way, man...I'm going on this thing acapella...(face droops) acapella...Aka Pell-ARGGH! (holds head in hands as if in pain)
Pule: Hey! You're beginning to remember wh-
Toast: (angerly) HEY! (then calms down) I told ya...this is my place...(starts to look as if he's thinking) but...I guess a sidekick would be nice...
Pule: (jumps up in happiness) YAY!
Toast: But first, we gotta find a name for you, big guy! How about....um...
Pule: Pule the Great?
Toast: (waves hand) No! Something in my theme. Uh...Bread Boy?
(Pule makes a gagging noise)
Toast: Pumpernickel?
Pule: Eew!
Toast: Breadstick. (the looks happy, gives thumbs up to Pule) YEAH!
Pule: Well....okay....
Toast: Now we gotta get you a costume! Come on, I know just the place!
(QC to Sam Simon and Pule walking down a street, they stop at an apparent costume shop)
Toast: I hope you got money.
Pule: Yeah! (both enter; a friendly clerk comes up)
Clerk: How can I help you boys?
Toast: Uh, yeah, my little bro here wants to dress up as a sidekick of that Toast dude for a costume party, and we need somethin' new. Unique. That kinda thing.
Clerk: Sure! Come, my friend....(leads Pule away)
(QC now to see Pule coming out of a dressing room in a costume. He has on black shorts, eye mask, and gloves, with white boots and a shirt that has a French croussiant as its logo.)
Clerk: Will this do?
Toast: (happily) WILL IT? (realizes mistake) Uh....yeah! C'mon bro, change outta it. Here's the money, man (hands wad of bills to the clerk)
(Pule runs back to the dressing room, and QC now to a lab....)
(the lab looks pretty high-tech. We now see a scientist come up to a desk, but the person at it has the chair turned around. We cannot see who this person is)
Voice: Any luck yet?
Scientist: No...uh, he's yet to come back with intelligence.
Voice: Good...nobody knows. When they watch my show, they'll forget thier current existence and live just to buy my stuff...and then I'll buy out the world wth all my new-gotten money! Revenge for my cancellization! AHA-HA HA!
Scientist: Sir? Um...you're babbling again.
Voice: Hm? Oh, yeah. Thanks.
(QC back to Toast and Breadstick. They are walking out of the store.)
Toast: Dude, you're fine. You're with me! Heh.
Pule: I still feel silly wearing this in public! When can I get it off?
Toast: As soon as we get back to head-(WHAM!)
(Toast and his assialiant fall down, it appears the man was running and ran right into Toast. Toast, is unusually angry and drags the guy into an alley)
Toast: ALL RIGHT, PAL Y-...uh oh...knocked out!
Pule: What's with the lab coat? Is he a scientist?
Toast: Hm...betcha he is! (pulls card out of pocket) Hey, all this is is a buncha documents...where does he live? (reads closer, looks more serious) 'Sept. 6, 2001. All is unoticed, and the plan should go on ahead. The boss...'crud! Pule, we gotta get ready for a battle...this stuff is just like the movies!
Pule: But this isn't a movie!
Toast: (rolls eyes) Yeah, yeah. Stay here, lemme get my costume.
(QC to the lab)
Voice: WHERE IS HE?!
Scientist: I, I don't know, sir...
Voice: No matter...just set up the equipment and go back to your homes! I'll handle everything else.
(QC back to the alley. Toast and Breadstick are hiding, and the scientist finally gets up, looking groggy. He then gasps, and starts to run off.)
Toast: (whispering) Okay, he's up. Follow him!
(They do so, and come to an abandoned building. He enters it.)
Pule: Aw, an abandoned store! That's been done a million times!
Toast: Not in real life. Come on!
(They enter, and see the guy just going down an apparent trap door. They also enter.)
(the place is rather high-tech looking as they go down the stairs. However...)
(they hear a multitude of voices....coming from below. And they're getting closer)
Toast: Dude! (pushes Breadstick off the stairs, and then jumps off himself. He grabs the screaming Pule and lands perfectly on the ground. The duo then look up and see many scientists, among them the confused assailant, and other important looking people walking up the stairs and out of the place. Soon, all are gone and it is deathly silent)
Pule: Oh...
Toast: Com'on!
(both start to move foward silently. They finally come to a large room, with a large sattilite in the center. A large figure, muttering incomprehensible phrases, is seen...)
Toast: What the heck...
Pule: (shouting) BERNIE?!
(Yep, it's Bernie the blue dinosaur. Still in costume. Yet he simply doesn't look grumpy, and looks mad.)
Bernie: GO HOME! Hey, you aren't my men?! WHO ARE YOU!
Breadstick: (unusally brave) People here to stop you!
(Bernie, after hearing this, screams and rushes toward them. However, his suit makes it easy to dodge him. Finally, after a bit of this goose chase, he smiles)
Toast: Dude, give it up! I've faced worse!
Bernie: Wait...I seen you. RRGGHHH! YOU CAUSED MY SHOW TO BE CANNED! (looks insane) Hahoeha...(he runs to where the duo first saw him, and presses a button)
(the sattelite then starts to blare out Bernie's theme...)
Sattelite: BERNIE LIKES ALL THE GIRLS AND BOYS...BERNIE LIKES WHEN YOU BUY HIS TOYS...
Bernie: IT WORKS! YES! I WIN! I GET THE VICTORY! REVENGE!
(people all over the city are seen dropping stuff and rushing to stores, throwing cash everywhere and grabbing Bernie stuff. It's actually chaos)
(QC back to the lab. Breadstick is walking around aimlessly, with money in his hand, throwing it around. Toast is trying to cover his ears, but to no avail...)
Bernie: (wearing earmuffs, mockingly) Heh...buy my stuff! (holds Bernie plush in front of Toast) You gotta...
...
It's gotten VERY stupid in one part, but it's part of an original plot point I had. I'll explain in editor's notes.
