I have to put together a play for drama club about high school and stuff, and there's a part about detention. I'm a good girl, so I don't have a lot of detenion stories, so it would be awesome if you guys could help me out. you don't have to put anything into dialouge format or anything, just tell me as if you were bragging to a friend or gossiping about someone, or whatever. It doesn't have to be your detenion either. If you know someone or heard of someone who pulled a great prank and got busted (or not, whatever) please tell me all about it. I really need some good ideas, so please, just tell me some good reasons for getting detenion. Thanks!

~Fleur

Well, one time, the WHOLE class had lunch detention, and our teacher was a complete bitch, and couldn' hear very well lol. So, every time she would talk to one of us, we'd cough names under our breath. Then, when she turned around, this guy named Mike would get up on his desk and dance, before she turned back around. He had amazing reflexes lol. Then, after that, we mainly shot paper airplanes into the ceiling. Hehehe.

Made in USA, but Texas to be more precise. If you mention that I have an accent I will kill you. Yall have a nice day now!

Don't get me angry, I'm running out of places to hide bodies.

Lets see... I once filled a teacher's drawers with pencil shavings - I mean I emptied them from each classroom for a week so there was a LOT. I replaced the chalk with toothpaste, I got the whole class to turn their desks around on a substitute. I told a teacher to **** himself, I scratched my nails down the chalkboard during a final exam, I made a comment on how one teacher's moustache made him look like Hitler - I put a snake in someone's locker. Ouch! I deserved my detentions!

wow

Outside of having given detention a number of times and getting stuck filling in for the teacher who generally took the afterschool detentions once or twice, I am not up on it. Never got one, myself.




People know what they do; they frequently know why they do what they do; but what they don't know is what what they do does.
- Michael Foucault, 'The Order of Things'

I was the detention coordinator for a Denver Public School middle school...how long do you have? Actually, I don't have too long, but I have stories all over the place. There was the time that I entrusted the principal to help me with gathering students for detention and she put these kids on the "honor system" of going to the library after school. There was the time a kid took out a knife and said he wasn't staying...the assistant principal just got annoyed and sat his butt back down. Then someone snuck a snake into detention thinking it would freak me out and run off so they could leave. I took the snake and played with it since I got bored. Then someone threw a book at me when I was discussing the detention with the assistant principle and it shattered the glass of the library since I ducked. There were two students who tried to make the detention an orgy in front of one of the stricter teachers when it was his turn to help me out with the detention. He DID freak out.
The list goes on.

"I never gave anyone Hell. I just told them the truth and they thought it was Hell."
-Harry Truman

We used to compete to see who would get a detention first.

Our math teacher had a hard time with speaking English, but that didnt make him any less of a bastard! He would write your name down on the board first, then if you got 3 checks next to it you'd be on detention - well let the games begin, the person who made it on first was generally the winner but then once the blackboard was inundated with names (we hardly left room for him to write) we competed for check! lol ... those were the days!! sigh



"Now Now Draco... Play nicely"
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Do you want stories about being IN detention or GETTING a detention. I'm not sure which will be useful to you.

Well the one I'm most pissed about because I should not have had a detention:

I found a hubcap and tire on the side of the road so I took them to lost property.

Then I went back the next day and said I'd lost a tire and hubcap and THEY GAVE ME TWO AFTER-SCHOOL DETENTIONS FOR IT!!!

Still annoyed at that...

I also nailed all of the art teacher's ties into his tie drawer (he had about 50 in there!) That was SO funny though when he found out.

I headbutted a sub teacher once in a detention. Though I doubt you want a play about that.

Erm, I took out every security camera in the school out with a BB gun.

Me and about 20 friends set off every fire alarm in the whole building off.

This is the stuff I got caught for. I can't be bothered going into the stuff I got away with, there's much more.

Usually I skived the detentions and noone cared so I haven't got many in-detention tales. I usually just went to sleep.

And when I had to litter-pick, I just emptied the bins out into the bag.

I had to paint a door once in a detention.

These aren't very good, I'm afraid.

Anyway tell me if you want in-detention stories or getting-detention stories, I've got many more.

I spent my life skiving off detentions.

---

Yeah, you're a Doodle Nut.

Finished with my woman
'Cause she couldn't help me with my mind
People think I'm insane
Because I am frowning all the time.

- Black Sabbath - Paranoid

Wow, some of you people are lucky! I went to Catholic schools my entire life, so I would get detention for The smallest things, like chewing gum (detention for this was walking around the school with a paint scraper and a brown paper bag, well you get the picture...) or stupid dress code violations (I never wore socks) Doing some of the things others have mentioned would get you kicked out of my school ASAP! Although, I did start a food fight in the sixth grade. We were having a special lunch where we could only eat rice for lunch for a week, so we would know what it felt like to be an Etheopian (sp?) during the famine in the eighties. Anywho, I was discovered as the ring leader and had to clean all the rice up off the cafeteria floor on my hands and knees with only a bucket and a rag. Not to mentioned what my Dad did to me when he read note sent home! My family still talks about that one. and that was almost 18 yrs ago!!!

Well, Severus, I taught at a Catholic school. It really depends on the school. I gave detentions for cheating on a test (btw, I also gave the kids a zero), swearing at me or another student in class, fighting - that sort of thing. It was up to someone else to deal with uniforms and gum. I was supposed to give warnings and if they accumulated enough warnings (on uniforms, gum, etc) they got a detention. I was slow to give those and gave a lot of warnings before handing them out. I didn't like our uniform code, so I was reluctant to be a uniform nut. However, I couldn't just ignore it. I mean, I really didn't want to see some kid's butt over the top of his pants or from the bottom of her too short skirt. Blech.

Mostly, I hated giving out detentions. It bugged me when I was finally driven to filling out one of those obnoxious forms. I liked it better when we could just settle it there in class.

People know what they do; they frequently know why they do what they do; but what they don't know is what what they do does.
- Michael Foucault, 'The Order of Things'

Yeah, I wanted both IN dentenion and GETTING detention. The plan is to set the scene in a detention, and people are goofing off and stuff, and they're talking about how they got detention, and then they start talking about "Detention Legends" and stuff- That's why I need to get stories about getting detention and being in it.
I could probably think some stuff up on my own, but true stuff is usually better material.
Thanks to everyone who responded so far.

~Fleur

Making farmyard animal noises and chucking stuff about works for me.

Also, I stood behind this teacher while in detention and she said:

"Where did Chris go?"

And she was looking everywhere and I was there right behind her all the time.

---

Yeah, you're a Doodle Nut.

Finished with my woman
'Cause she couldn't help me with my mind
People think I'm insane
Because I am frowning all the time.

- Black Sabbath - Paranoid

I actually did a really great prank two years ago that you could use... it'd probably be really easy to put together in dialoge.

I was out with my best friend Krista and when we came back to her house there were two girls on her doorstep, just sitting there... we knew who they were but she wasn't friends with them. She asked why they were there and she said Matt (friend, lives down the street) invited her over to Kristas house. I was appauled and when I saw Matt on the bus I confronted him and told it how disrespectful it was to invite someone over to someone elses house without their consent and he just laughed and said "I wouldn't care if you invited people to my house."

I took that statement very seriously and asked him "really?" and he said yeah. That night I made flyers for a party Friday night... at Matts house. Gave his address and phone number, told people to bring their own REFRESHMENTS and printed about 100 of them. Passed them all around school with the help of my friend Tim. Tim is very slow and gave one to his teacher. His teacher was cool though and didnt care. Problem is his teacher pinned it up to the wall inviting everyone to see it and come. Fine by me but not with the principal. I was very close to getting expelled but because three other people heard Matt say "I wouldn't care if you invited people to my house," I ended up with just a detention. Nothing interesting happened there, thoguh.

-------------------

"if you let them make you; they'll make
you paper mache; at a distance you're
strong; until the wind comes; then you
crumble and blow away"

detention stories... Well I'm pretty good, but I have some stories from my friends...

1. clogging up all the drains in the bathrooms and flooding the school over the weekend

2. Lighting the fireproof science desks on fire and saying "I was just testing to see if they were really fireproof, See I did you a favor! Those don't lve up to expectations!"

3. Skateboarding through the school and flicking off every teacher you see

4. Letting the python from the bio department loose in cafeteria

5.And apparently wanting to share your artistic talent with all those who pass through the math hallway is unapreciated, especailly if it is done with spray paint.



*It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid...
Than to open it and remove all doubt*

our school has like a midget librarian, and some kids in my class got 3 weeks detention for throwing erasers at her.

I just have to say - my fave movie detention scene is in "10 Things I Hate About You" where she flashes the teacher while Heath Ledger jumps out the window.


Another story.... I actually heard this one from a radio announcer... thought it was a classic!

He earned himself expulsion because on "Orientation Day" (where parents and future students come to check out the school) he hung out of a 2nd story window with one arm screaming "No Mrs Norris, you cant make me jump. I just want to learn!!!" lol

I also went to a Catholic school, was taught by nuns and priests.. A guy in my class got detention for farting loudly - the nun said it was an "unholy display of filth!" (LOL)

Some teachers didnt believe in conventional detention though - we had an eccentric old man who preferred to make people get up in front of the class and impersonate a sprinkler (that Simpsons ep where Milhouse does the sprinklers comes to mind!!) - or he also had a penchant for locking people up in the space between the wall and the door when it was open.
weird!




"Now Now Draco... Play nicely"
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

i've had some pretty classic detentions. i've listed my top 5.

5. replacing the sour cream in the kitchens with
elmers glue

4. shouting "you all suck" after saying the pledge of aligence over the loud speaker one morning.

3. gluing the guidance councelor's hand to his office door with super glue

2. blacking out the security cameras outside the front of the school with black spray paint.

1. durring lunch, sneaking into the principal's office and telling the school that we were in a lockdown situation.

Aw man, I wish we'd had loudspeakers in my school.

Could have had so much fun.

I would have sneaked in, sneaked lazatives into his drink to get rid of him for a while, then play music as loud as it goes to the whole school. Just before informing the Geography teachers that they were all fired.

---

Been Dazed and Confused for so long it's not true.
Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.

- Led Zeppelin - Dazed and Confused


Might as well face it
You're addicted to love

- Robert Palmer - Addicted to Love

RIP Robert Palmer

dude, you totally rock! i hate my principal anyway!

Those are so GREAT!!! Thanks everyone! I could probably use alot of those. The best one I have right now is this guy who threw a snowball at the headmaster and made him cry. About half the school saw it happen! lol! That's my best one.

~Fleur

Best thing I ever saw in detention - the guy sitting at the same table I was put his head down and fell asleep. Must have been heading toward a deep sleep, because about 10 minutes in to it he did one of those jumps (you know, where you are about asleep and your body jerks). Well, he almost fell backward out of his chair, opened his eyes, and looked around like he had no idea where he was. The whole room was laughing like crazy.

TimC

Things I had to do in detention (catholic school):
-rewrite the entire book of genesis on notebook paper

-clean the attached convent

-kneel on the cold marble floor in winter for 2 hours (in a skirt, no tights) staring at a crucifix with my hands held together like i was praying (this was for telling my religion teacher i didn't beleive the bible word for word- she gave me detention and told me I was going to hell)

Things I got detentions for:
-the one above

-missing a meeting because I was having an asthma attack in the nurses office

-telling off a teacher (I deserved that one)

Infamous Detention Stories:
-my research advisor got suspension for letting 20 chickens into the school before it started

-the class ahead of me all got detention for locking themselves into a closet after school, spending the night putting silly string, streamers, and chalk all over the school before graduation

-research advisor again got detention for putting green crabs in the school kitchen and gym lockers, and in the teachers' lounge

-most of my school got detention for starting a jello food fight during class spirit wars (each class is assigned a color for the week- we got everyone to make 2 boxes of their class jello collor and have a food fight with it)- i got out of it since i wasnt in lunch, they never found the jello in my locker

god, i haven't posted in so long! what better way to say all the good stuff i've done in school to get detention...



actually...i've only ever gotten detention for forgetting my ID on my dresser. and we have to write

"don't sweat the small stuff, it's all small stuff." 100 times, and if we don't finish by the time detention is over, we have another detention.

The more I think about it though - the more I want to go back to school, simply because with what I know now - with regard to all the things I can get away with, school would be one huge party!

I mean I pushed the system at school enough as it was, but there was still that slight fear of getting in trouble... but knowing what I know now... they wouldnt know what hit them!

if only I had this knowledge back then.... sigh



"Now Now Draco... Play nicely"
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets