This isn't HP related folks, but this came up tonight as we were watching some TV and it made both my husband and I pretty irritated, so I am venting (aka griping, complaining, crabbing, etc.).
I know some of you watch Friends and some hate the show. Well, for those of you who may have watched it this evening, did any of you find something off about Monica and Chandler? We certainly did and as a result, we are, personally, avoiding the last few episodes. I know, I know. Big deal. There are, what, four episodes left? I am not suggesting a boycott because it would never work, but I was irritated enough to send a message to NBC and am now debating how much further I feel like taking it. I just want people out there to know that there was a real problem on that show tonight.
Here is a copy of the message:
Writers and Producers of 'Friends',
We have been long-time viewers of this series and have watched with interest since the show began portraying the characters, Monica and Chandler, as persuing an adoption as a way of creating a family. We are adoptive parents ourselves, and looked forward to some sensitive humor on an emotional experience.
The episode which aired this evening, (February 19, 2004), however, was not humorous, but disturbing. In this episode, Chandler and Monica meet their child's expectant birth mother and, for a brief period of time, believe that there are two possible birth fathers for their child. One, they found "acceptable" and one, "unacceptable" due to a prison record for a violent crime.
The implication, as far as we were able to determine, was that this unborn child was now objectionable to them because of the possibility of a criminal biological father. The portrayal was insensitive. We realize that some adoptive parents do fear what traits might be genetic and not as readily influenced by a nurturing environment. However, this real dilemma was not portrayed. It was handled in a flippant and cavalier manner which seemed designed only to provide the Chandler character with some one-line jokes.
The reality of parenthood and particularly of adoptive parenthood is that there is a great deal about your children and their lives which are not under your control. Adoptive parents generally accept that there are aspects of their child's history that will never be known to them.
If your portrayal of adoptive parents was true, that would paint a very dark future for thousands of children. While there are, no doubt, some adoptive parents with these sorts of fears as they enter the process, you should be aware that there are good, hard working, caring social workers helping them work through their concerns so that the conversation which occurred in tonight's episode would not be so likely to ever take place.
We are deeply disappointed that a show with such an opportunity to reach out and educate through its broad appeal and popularity would squander that opportunity by portraying adoptive parents in such a negative and insensitive light.
I have always watched Friends and it has been a favorite of mine for a long time, however, that show should have ended about 3 seasons ago. The last 3 seasons or so have really gone downhill. I only keep watching because I feel a unexplainable obligation to watch till the very end. Every season we watch Joey grow more and more stupid, Monica become borderline certifiable with her nuerotic behavior, Ross become the biggest geek alive and Rachel become more of a spoiled brat than she was in the first episode. Phoebe and Chandler seem to be that only two characters who personalities have not completly taken over. All of the character traits that once made them so funny in the begining have now become grossly exagerated and completly unbelievable. As a long time fan of the show I have been sorely dissapointed with the last few seasons. After tonight's episode it has reached an all time low. I actually groaned last season when they said they were all going to do another, after having already said that it was the last. Get it over with already!!! A fun website to visit is JumpTheShark.com, it pokes good fun at about every show that has ever been on television.
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Re: Re: Okay, this is something I just have to say.
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February 19 2004, 11:04 PM
Well, as far as general quality goes, Sev, I have to agree with you. However, the general quality wasn't my concern tonight. It was the specific content. My husband and I both found it offensive.
Re: Re: Okay, this is something I just have to say.
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February 19 2004, 11:06 PM
I stopped watching the show a while ago because Monica annoys the hell out of me, but I tuned in tonight and felt the same.
I find that whenever they show "Fat Monica" she acts like a completely different person. "Bouncy", "Clumsy" "horny and desperate" - Hollywood's interpretation of obese women basically. Her treatment of her friends is so annoying and I'd love to see them end the show with Chandler killing her by washing her mouth out with bleach!
Also - the explaination for how that wasn't the father - obviously impying ummm... going in through the out door... kind of nasty and totally unneccessary.
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Sandy, I completely understand why you and your husband found tonight's episode in bad taste. That was what I meant my "tonight's episode reaching an all time low." I didn't mean to stray off your topic.
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Re: Re: Okay, this is something I just have to say.
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February 20 2004, 7:28 AM
Sandy, I totally agree with you. When it first came up that Monica and Chandler were going to adopt a baby, I thought, "Wow, this will be cool. It's something different on a sitcom that many people go through in their lives. It might actually help people who are going through the same thing." And then I kept thinking about it and wondered if they would be able to pull it off ok. The more I thought about it, the more I thought that they wouldn't do a good job of it. After last night's episode, it was confirmed. They totally messed up.
This isn't an excuse, but I'm going to chalk it up to the fast that probably no one on the show nor the writers have ever lived through the situation. If one of them had, I would hope that he or she would have said something about it before filming so that it could be corrected in time.
As for the quality of the show over the past few seasons, I must admit, I think I look forward more to watching the reruns from the earlier seasons than I do to the new episodes. I think this is a perfect example of a show that stayed on the air too long.
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Re: Re: Re: Okay, this is something I just have to say.
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February 20 2004, 7:50 AM
I liked Friends much more when it had a different story each episode, instead of one story dragging out over the entire series. It's a pity they didn't end it earlier. I guess they were just trying to make money.
I can't really comment on that particular episode, having not yet seen it, but I can see that it would offend quite a lot of people who are going through what they are.
And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll
- Led Zeppelin - Stairway To Heaven
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Okay, this is something I just have to say.
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February 20 2004, 7:01 PM
Exactly Kitch. The first few seasons were great...and then they started to drag out the plot...JUST STFU!(heh.)
I am big on That 70s Show, and Family Guy, I watch those shows religiously.
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Okay, this is something I just have to say.
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February 21 2004, 12:01 AM
Weird I came across this message right after I got home from my friend's house. Friday nights, 4 of my friends and I get together for a "Friends with friends" party where we watch one of her many complete season DVDs. It was 4 episodes from best of friends volume 2 tonight, lol.
Anyway.... I know a lot of people who feel the same way as you, Sandy. I, however, haven't watched a new episode of friends in probably 3 years, so I can't personally say my opinion but I did hear a lot of controversy over it in school today (among teachers, mainly..)
------------------- "if you let them make you; they'll make you
paper mache; at a distance you're strong; until
the wind comes; then you crumble and blow away"
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I did not see the episode in question, and, frankly, I am not a regular viewer. I have liked the show in the past. Your point is well taken though. Once a show becomes very popular, it seems that anything will fly with the viewers regardless of how stupid, or inaccuarate, of over the top. We the viewers forgive it or overlook it. Its as though once you've made it, quality, and research become secondary concerns. I absolutely agree that writing the network was a correct action, other wise they just get away with it. Keep the media on its toes.
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