Squalor Survivors

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random thoughts off the top of my head...

August 8 2005 at 12:37 PM
illuminata  (Login illuminata)

Response to Cleaning service coming tomorrow!

You have a cleaning service come every other week? Do they do all the cleaning or just things like scrubbing toilets and changing sheets? The first thing I thought of is...it's kind of like living at home, and getting it into your head that if you make a mess, it's okay, because mom will come and clean it up for you. If you spill Coco Wheets on the table, mom will wipe it up for you. If you leave some wet towels on the floor, mom will come along and put them in the hamper. Perhaps you are getting into the mindset that, even if you leave a mess, that these women will be coming anyway to clean it up for you.

You go camping or on vacation virtually every weekend in the summer? If I might be so bold to ask...why? Is it to spend "quality time" with the kids and/or your spouse? Or is at least some of it to "escape" your messy house? I know that when MY house is a wreck, I don't want to spend time here, so I will come up with any reason to leave it and "escape" my responsibility in cleaning it up. Shopping, helping someone, running errands, whatever...any excuse to get me away from this mess so I can avoid it. And, if I'm gone, I can always use the excuse of, "Oh, I've been too busy to clean it up." Maybe if you found some way of keeping it clean, you'd be more likely to spend time there on weekends.

And, my personal opinion, the more kids are exposed to "vacations" and such, the more they expect it to happen, and the bigger and more expensive those things have to then become to satisfy. I've seen it happen...all of a sudden, camping in the tent every weekend isn't good enough, we've got to move to a popup because the kids are complaining...then a small camper, but then that isn't good enough either...then a fifth wheel, but then that soon is not quite enough...then an RV....see how it progresses? A getaway or vacation every once in a while, IMO, makes it more of a "special" event and less likely to be taken for granted as time goes by. And who is to say you can't spend quality time cleaning? You're teaching your kids good cleaning habits when you do, and your kids are still young and moldable.

Why work at keeping something clean when it will all get undone in a matter of minutes? Boy, do I understand that one. My nice clean kitchen is looking rather messy from three days of dropping off and picking up "stuff". Coolers sitting out, table full of sacks and track merchandise, etc...but I have been working in dribs and drabs all day and by tonight it WILL be back to zero. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad, but messes DO and WILL happen, especially when there are kids involved. I've learned the mindset of "why clean it when it is going to get messed up again" is counterproductive to me (and I think that a lot). I clean it because I WANT IT CLEAN. And, I want to show everyone else that clean is better. I am instilling new habits in my kids (at least, I'm trying reeeeeeeeeally hard). Messes WILL happen, it is learning how to deal with the messes that counts.

You're cleaning before the cleaning crew comes, IMO, is because you'd be embarrassed to have them see your house. Well, I'm embarassed to let my KIDS see my house this messy. I'M embarrassing ME to MYSELF. I lost the ability to "see" my house, so I wasn't embarrassed to let me see it. But...now, I am. And my kids too. Are your kids more important than the cleaning ladies? Of course they are. Then why let them see the mess and not the cleaners? Again, not trying to put you down, but maybe trying to let you see through new eyes.

ALL of this is just my opinion and my thoughts...and they're like armpits, sometimes they stink. I hope you don't take it wrong. I'm not coming down on you, just throwing some morsels out there to chew on. Maybe it would be a good idea to cancel the cleaning ladies, so you don't have that pillow to fall back on. I understand what you're saying because I have thought those things too. It is learning to change the mindset, and learning that I AM DESERVING OF A CLEAN HOUSE, that is sloooooooooooowly moving this dinosaur.

This message has been edited by illuminata on Aug 8, 2005 12:36 PM

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