We have two dear friends: C & C. Both of them are shop-a-holics. They love to buy gifts. They shower us with things for any occasion. I do not want anything! We give modest gifts to them, and I refuse to change this. But they bring over cartons of stuff. This year from these two friends here are the gifts we cannot use:

*a humungous complete illustrated Jane Austen: impossible to read, the size of an enormous family bible
*2 packages of china party plates (cut out space for a glass)----thankfully these can be returned, as there was a gift receipt enclosed
*battery-powered pepper mill (I already have a serviceable wooden one)
*oil-and-vinegar cruets: no right-thinking Italian would ever use these for salad making
*an expensive leather travel jewellry roll: I do not need this, and in fact had one exactly like this which I gave away
*a book on orchids: DH has given up on their cultivation
*a huge tin of popcorn: artificially flavoured (I will give to church)
*socks that don't fit
*portfolio of vintage bird drawings from an estate: THEY STINK OF MOLD AND CELLARS AND ROT!

This does NOT include the gifts from C & C which we might actually use:

*gift certificate from liquor store
*box of expensive chocolates
*scarf
*2 flow blue plates for DH's collection
*an owl for DH's collection

I am going to have to say something to the first Mrs. C. This cannot go on: we are embarrased because we give the C family token gifts (value $30) and a CERTIFICATE for a donation to Unicef or some such charity.

The second Mrs. C. is mucho touchy---and we will just have to grin and bear it and pretend to be delighted ...

I do not wish to appear ungrateful---but lordy,lordy-----can you imagine this list from 2 friends????? Representing at least a thousand of dollars of expense???????? Whoa nelly!

We gave second Mrs. C a bottle of expensive scotch; for Mr. C. a box of cheap shortbread. We are seriously embarassed.

Luv from Script