THE JOURNEY INTO INVISIBILITY

"the journey into invisibility"
(video-camera zooms in on freshly 'scratched' skin resulting from intense 1 1/2 hour long 'meltdown' where upon the individual had become quite "sensory integration disordered" ....
(audio) it began.... a long time ago... perhaps, but started to become noticeable (as to what "it" was/is)sometime after the birth of mine godson.... who was diagnosed as autistic sometime when he was 2. his mother, having learned more about autism, and starting to notice how autism related to his son, also began to see the relationship with our behaviour. we discussed these things together, and she "ENCOURAGED" us to get assessed, for these possible diagnoses. we went to the geneticist... who stated that her findings were "consistent with" autism spectrum disorders (but was not 'officially' a person qualified to make such firm diagnosis, and therefore suggested further investigation.. the children were referred in kingston to the queens university developmental services department at the hotel deu (sp?) hospital.....
there is testing, done by a professional of some sort, indipendent of mineself, (infact someone who has never seen mineself prior the testing of son, nor has he any knowledge of the AS in mineself... ).. who is stating son displays the 'characteristics' which are: anxiety to such a degree that it would interfere with his school performance... and many more (too wired up to even THINK just am talking, cant stop talking,).. neverthless, this teacher interview today, and then the teacher calling (sons) andsaying son did not do a take home math test... upon him coming home, we got into discussing what is gong on with son that he (literaly lied because did ask this morning, because he seemed to 'faking' being sick when he thought he had to go to school, wether he homework he didnt complete and therefore was avoiding school and he replied no) was hiding the nature of what is going on at school.. it came forth, with son admitting to mineself, and to his father (wait until you hear what his father admitted to me-he said that on monday, when he dropped off son to school, his teacher (twirled his finger in a circular motion, pointing to his head) said "she really out there" about mineself!!! now is that a human rights violation on mine dignity or what??.. anyways, that is a part of this whole picture-story, journey into invisibility) that his teacher is emotionally abusing him... (the language teacher apparently continues to emotionally abuse children in sons class -including son one day, when she called and her attitude about son was "he cant be bothered to do his homework" after he had lost work (duh, an as kid being disorganized, and unable to keep track of things unless he has specific help with organizing, (and this kid needs reinforcements to do anything NEW-which being organized sure is, after being so disorganized for 11 yrs!!) the work, and son had told her he lost it but she didnt believe him, and treated him in a 'sarcastic, demeaning manner' in front of peers... [no wonder mine sons reaction was not socially appropriate- mine would have a meltdown too... ]...
anyways, this teacher same man whom the below post with the interview was about... has told mine son (who has a hard time concentrating, should be sitting at the front of the class board.. with least distractions, and also because he ahs vision sensory issues, should be away from the lights he is sitting under, and to the middle, who also has a hard time seeing, and has been getting used to the idea, through longterm talking about it, even to GO to the eye doctor, it has taken us now 1 yr to talk about going.. talked about his headaches, the benefits of seeing well, etc... so now he agrees to go get it checked further, but the family doctor said he 'needs glasses-for sure'.... and this teacher KNOWS all this ... ooh yeah, but it dont matter, kus he's just got an "attitude problem" right.. says to son.. when son had told the teacher 'i dont know what it says, cant see it to read it"... teacher says "well if you cant see it, maybe you should learn how to read"... ooohhhh BY THE WAY... it is also in this teachers possession, the psych. report where in his academic skills were also tested.. and his READING was at GRADE 3 level... (he is in grade 6)... so is this teacher putting down a child with disabilities, in front of the whole class (who laugh by the way).. and also violating HIS HUMAN RIGHTS.... along with being emotionally abusive towards him.... oohh AND... then the ADVOCATE who agreed to be our advocate 'until the kids get the testing' this school is requesting, the further assessments that were supposed to be done in kingston.... this same woman, completely missed the boat.... she didnt call them sying in front of daughter that her spelling was 'horrendous' [ if mine head would of had the wits about it, that it does now, but at the moment ofcourse am completely unable to utter a word.. hello advocate lady, thisis your que... step in and DO you JOB!... opps mine mind digresses... would of told her that was thinking it to be 'horrendous' that she thought it was ok to say such a hurtufl thing in front a child.... twice... about her.... anyways.... then top it all of wonder if these people had a conflict of interest clause... did they not want to bother with an iep for son... do they ahve any reason to say 'ooh hes just like any other boy' lets just say he doesnt 'need to learn spelling' [is what language teacher said], and that he has an attitude problem, [and then when you arent here, lets just emotionally abuse him, till he reacts, and when he reacts, does things like 'wanted to get back at mr. r so didnt do his homework, mom noticed that did all mine other homework'... then lets just remark again about his 'attitude' is showing again....
well, if that is education!!!!!!! then what is there left to do but seek an advocate.... seek legal advice? perhaps... anyways.... yes, back on track... to this advocate... on teh way home she says she thought the interview "went well"... sure have scripts which to repeat, when am stressed with say things like 'fine' 'am fine', 'its fine', ok, fine'.... what do you think these lips uttered when the advocate lady (whatkind of advocate first things that the she is going in to help a parent bring up the issue of getting an IEP for their kid, never even mention the subject, when accomanying a parent who has communication problems with the verbal form...let mine mind transfer its thoughts through the ends of these fingers... write them down through teh assitance of one mechanical method or another, then the thoughts flow... but leave it up to verbalization.. teh scriptsflow... ok.. back on track.. yes, what kindof an advocate is that??) asked,'how do you think it went'... well she seemed to also think it went fine.. was she also scripted.. or did she really think so... well if thse did... does she think it is ok to say her work is horrendous in front of an 8 yr old girl.. andif so... how did she get to be an advocate... opps... again back on track, stick to the facts, leave out the opinions... so, then the advocate lady suggested/asked wether had thought/considered the/her "theory that being a parent with autism, your kids would {GET THIS} learn to ACT autistic at home.. and not be autistic"... apparently this is a possible theory because the 'teachers dont see any problems' .... ooppss... where did you divert from reality?????!!!!!!!!!

ok. tired now again...
very VERY OVERWHELMED!!!!!!!!!
and very very lost... if not an advocate..

oohh.. by the way, as an aside... (which kind of just blows out the last embers in the heart of "HOPE")... thsi advocate will tomorrow present her 'opinions and theory' to the committee which decides if these kids NEED to even get on the waiting list to get assessed by the developmental services here... GOD what about eh geneticist reports!!??? (see they dont have the one yet from daughters.. only all the testing from son... am to tired tonight ot even start to quote any of his reports yet.. but could.. but what does it matter.. it all boils down to this.. am sinking...
into invisibility..... opps, or am on the "journey" of life-becoming invisible, as a family, as a parent, as a woman with a disability, as mineself....


movie script "the Journey Into Invisibility"
directed by:... to be determined...
produced by: Injustice Inc.
Leading Roles:
minna
mika
michelle