I have been...
The year that FAPE was denied i went and looked at the file...and much to my amazement the IEP in the file had goals marked completed that were NEVER completed. Should a seen her explaining that one at Due Process...lol...uhhh uhhh uhhhh.
With regard to letters, its their option to make it part of the file unless you explicitly state that you would like this letter to be part of your childs school records. I do that on all letters and some emails...
They should also keep a log of who has seen the files too. Mine didnt before i pointed out to them that it was a requirement of FERPA to do so. That way you know who has had access to the files.
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