Things we have learned....

Subject: Things we have learned


> a few gems for your amusement --
> Subject: Fw: Things we have learned
>
> GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
> > >
> > >1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
> > >2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
> > >3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
> > second person.
> > >4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
> > >5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
> > >6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
> > >7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
> > >8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass.of milk.
> > >9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
> > >10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
> > >
> > >GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
> > >
> > >1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
> > >2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
> > >3) Families are like fudge , mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
> > >4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
> > >5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
> > >6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the
joy.
> > >
> > >GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
> > >
> > >1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
> > >2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
> > >3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're
down
> > >there.
> > >4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
> chair
> > >that you once got from a roller coaster.
> > >5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers
> to
> > >ask you the questions.
> > >6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
> > >7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
> > >
> > >THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
> > >
> > >1) You believe in Santa Claus.
> > >2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
> > >3) You are Santa Claus.
> > >4) You look like Santa Claus.
> > >