I cried when I read your plea for help.

My heart aches for you.

I can feel your pain through your posts.

I've walked the same road upon which you now are walking by yourself.

And, believe me, you are walking this road alone.

Although I am your sister through our common denominator of betrayal, your life experiences and who you are make your journey unique and unknowable to everyone, including me.

Except for God.

Only you and He can know the incredible depths of your pain.

Your pain is comprised of the total betrayal of all the joys, good memories, trust and hope you once had in this man; his betrayal of his life with you; the commitment to you before God that he decided to grind into the dust under his heartless feet.

His betrayal is a double one.

He cheated on you twice THAT YOU KNOW OF, right? What earthly reason do you have to believe him when he says that these were the only ones?

He lied to you again after you found out about one of them; his excuse was that he 'didn't want to cause you and the kids more pain'?

Oh, please. What a selfish, hateful thing to say in an incredibly feeble attempt to pawn his personal responsibility for his actions off on you and his children,

You need to see that for what it is - he is refusing to be held accountable for his choices. He is squirming to get out from under the truth - he CHOSE to lie.

He lied because he is a liar.

He betrayed you because your love and the children you had together mean nothing to him compared to the lust he felt for these women.

Sure, they knew he was married. They were both hoping he would leave you for THEM.

But the bottom line here is, HE KNEW HE WAS MARRIED.

And he wanted to have sex with these women and he did.

The answers from other posters here contain some very hard truths.

But hope dies hard.

It is also obivious from your post that you still love this man, and you are looking for support on here for your hopes.

I am sorry, dear heart, I wish I could give you some hope.

But if I am to be totally and completely honest with you, I will not give you hope; nor will I encourage you to hang in there.

He is in individual and marriage counseling, you say?

I will bet you dollars to doughnuts that he is doing this because he wants to have his cake and eat it, too.

He doesn't want to be single - he doesn't want to marry either one of these sluts.

He wants to stay married to you, smooth things over, regain your trust.

Once he feels he has your trust again, once he feels secure in the marriage, will he cheat on you again?

You can count on it.

Now he has brought into life two innocent children, bastards both. If you stay with this man, how will you and your children handle it when he goes to play 'Daddy' with them?

Can you accept that these are his children, too? How much of a part in your life with this man will they play through no fault of their own?

Remember, they had no choice in who fathered them. Blame not the children, I beg you.

Will he be paying child support to both of them? How will that affect your family finances? Will it strain your quality of life to the breaking point?

Remember, by law, he is legally responsible for child support until they reach age 18.

How will you handle visitation? Will you be in a constant state of fear that he will use the 'excuse' of visiting his 'other' children to have sex with these women every time he steps out the door?

Can you live with that?

You say these women are following you around. Why are they doing this?

They are trying to strain your nerves to the breaking point. They are trying with all their might to break up your marriage.

Ask yourself this - what has he told these women about you that would lead them to think that they have a right to torment you in this way? All that they know of you is what he has told them of you.

Right now, he is probably using you and his marriage to you as a screen to protect him from the results of his own lust.

He has probably told these two women that he has to stay married to you because you are too fragile (or too 'SOMETHING') to handle a divorce or some other bullsh*t like that.

In other words, he is probably blaming his unwillingness to obtain a divorce FROM you ON you. So they blame you, too, and are doing everything they can to 'make you see the light and set him free'.

These women are not innocent in this. They are coldly, calculatedly doing everything they can to constantly throw in your face living proof of your husband's real feelings for you and your children.

They are as guilty as he is - however, HE made the choice to break his vows.

No one held a gun to his head, no one forced him to notice these women, no one forced him to flirt with them, no one forced him to get into bed with them and enjoy having sex with them.

He did that all by his loneself.

BUT - here is the bottom line - Anomyous is right - only you will know when you have had enough.

When you have had enough, the door to your heart will close to him forever.

You can't will it to do so.

If it happens, it will happen.

You will suddenly no longer care about him.

The relief is incredible. Trust me, I know.

However, until that happens, you will continue to cling to hope and try with all your might to believe in him again and to forgive him.

You are hopelessly clinging to hope right now, but you already know the answer in your HEAD.

It is only when you know the answer in your HEART that you will be able to walk away from this man.

You did not deserve this, neither did your children.

If he found something he wanted more than you and the children you created together, he should have been man enough to come to you and tell you the truth.

Instead, he lied, lied, lied, lied, lied over and over again.

Each time he left the house KNOWING HE WAS GOING TO ANOTHER WOMAN'S ARMS, he lied to you and dishonored you, his children and God.

These are the choices he CHOSE to make, without any pressure from anyone or anything other than his overly developed sex drive.

Each time he had sex with another woman who was not his wife, HE MADE THE CHOICE TO DO SO ALL BY HIMSELF.

We all make choices in life - God gave us free will, remember?

He CHOOSE to exercise his free will, and he CHOSE to commit adultry.

Not once, but twice - that you know of.

For your peace of mind, I will tell you this - in God's eyes, adultry is the ONLY reason for divorce.

And you have reason beyond reason.

But I know that hope and love die hard.

I wish with all my might that I could take your pain upon me because I would bear it willingly for you if I could.

Although I can't do that, please know that your pain echoes within my own heart.

I remember my own betrayal so well and I grieve with you and for you.

I am lifting you up in prayer, you, your children, and also the innocent children he has fathered. Those two children are also desperately standing in the need of prayer, what with brazen sluts for mothers and a hound dog in heat for a father.

I will pray for you unceasingly.

I will ask my Guardian Angel to gently fold his loving wings around you and the children and hold you safe to God's heart.

I don't know who you are, but God does, and that's all that matters, in the end.

But I wanted to let you know that I hear you and that you are not in this all alone.

God cares.

So do I.

Love,

theherbwoman

I also can feel your pain. And I would have to say this is the most truthful honest post i've read .

You are so right. My wife cheated on me with other men. I let her stay and we were remarried. People even have videos and naked pictures of her all over the county. She has tried to regain my trust in me by staying home more while I work, but a friend that watches her caught her on July 26 and she has just now told me. My boy belongs to me , but my daughter may not be mine. I say once a cheater always a cheater and she is smart in all her moves. She will even call the kids and make sure they are at their homes or gone and then hit the road. Trash is trash and I just may be the one to leave her someday and take all my retirement money with me. I make really good money and I believe that is the only reason she stays.

The longer you stay with her, the stronger her legal claim to your assets.

If I were you, I would consult an attorney and find out where you stand and where she stands financially in case of a divorce now and/or in the future.

I also hope that you have copies of those photos for future reference, given her conduct.

But I have to ask you this - why would you want to stay with a woman who has repeatedly shown you that she:

A. Cannot be trusted to be faithful to you and to her vows before God

B. Has cheated again after her 'repentance'

C. Has to have your friends 'watch' her

D. May have produced a child you did not father

E. Whom you suspect is only staying with you to gain from your financial assets

In the Bible, the word 'repent' is heavily laden with meaning. To truly 'repent' means that the person recognizes the error of their ways, tries to make amends, and does not repeat the offense. That last part is the critical measure of true 'repentance'.

Why would you wish to stay with a woman who does not love you? If she loved you, she would not have broken her vows, and if she was sincere in repenting, she would not have broken her repentance.

If she truely was sorry for her sins, she would not repeatedly keep sinning.

Everyone deserves to be married to someone who loves them and is faithful to them.

'Forsaking all others and keeping herself for you and you alone' is a vow to you and one taken before witnesses and BEFORE GOD.

Again, you are the only one who can know when you have 'had enough'.

I will keep you in my prayers as well.

We all know who you are talking about. She is well known in Dickenson and Wise County. Find yourself a descent God fearing woman. You make good money on the strip job, so why not go looking for yourself. Don't stay with trash like her. I hear that she is back doing her cheating again. You need those pictures for evidence in divorce court and she may not walk away with all your money whenever a jury sees them. Half the people in Clintwood have seen them and I even saw them in Wise at Reno's on bike night. She has always thought that she was God's gift to men. She used to walk around town with another old "WH" and pick up men while you were at work on the night shift. Even her kids stick up their noses in the air thinking that are better than anyone else with their fine jobs. Little do they know what Moma used to do. Good luck.

I am from Clintwood and I don't know who is being referred to..I know that I have been out of the loop for a while, but usually truths and untruths flow like honey in Clintwood.

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CALL THE TWO LITTLE CHILDREN BASTARDS,SEARCH YOUR SOUL WOMAN.

A 'bastard' is a child born outside of wedlock.

Back here, such a child is commonly called a 'wood's colt', or is said to 'be born on the wrong side of the blanket', etc.

There are many descriptive phrases to describe the legal status of such a child.

However, you, along with many people, percieve the word to be an insult.

It is not, nor is it a reflection on an innocent child.

The Bible itself speaks of children born outside of wedlock as 'bastards'.

The hateful connotation you attached came out of your own head, not mine.

I pity those two children, born of women who committed adultry with a married man.

What will their mothers tell them about their father?

What will their lives be like, with everyone in the community knowing how they were concieved?

My compassion for innocent children knows no bounds.

Read your Bible - look up the word 'bastard' in a good concordance and learn the real meaning of the word.

I mean the word as a statement of fact, as a description of their status in the relationship.

You obivously mean it as a cuss word.

You are the one who has no right to attach such a hateful connotation to innocent children.

But then, that is what comes of having a dirty mind.

I too have been there without the children by that man. I feel for the girl and can feel her hurt.....because I hurt when it was happening to me.

Too much to go into and most people know me so I won't go into specifics on here, but I ended in a different state from the man that cheated the first 11 years we were together. We weren't married then either. I really believe that AFTER we married he didn't cheat. Other things happened to make me leave him.

I've been alone for 3 years now.....had to get a job (actually 2 jobs) outside the home...do alot more for myself, while at the same time trying to look after elderly parents, but I'm okay!!!! I am looking into taking some more college classes this fall and real estate school as well. I love staying busy!!!!!!

I took care of HH's family - parents & grandparents before they passed away.

Now caretaking my own mother.

Only another caregiver can know what it entails, can they?

You're still on my prayer list, girlfriend.

I'll send you my new email addy so's we can catch up, okay?

Good to talk to you again.

HW

.....been a long time. Lots of catching up to do.

Thank you Danielle! I find it very ironic you CONSTANTLY speak of God yet, you use the colorful word of bullsh#t. Here is my advice to you: stop watching soap opera's! There is enough drama in this poor woman's life! Instead of General Hospital or whatever story you watch, try the news. Better yet, instead of picking up a Harlequinn Romance try the newspaper!!

He will never leave her for you.

That's good, considering I don't know any of them and wouldn't want a loser like that! I just wonder what "herb" it is woman.... you tend to ramble!