...Thanks, Cel. Believe me, that's not an easy decision for me to make. There have been many a time I thought my parents were married simply because of my untimely conception and we all would have been better off if they hadn't given in to their familys' ideas of honor and right. I thought about this the whole time Josh was on leave, and so did he. Neither one of us considers abortion an option *at all*. Never would I consent to that, and he would never forgive me. Adoption...I find it hard to think of giving away my baby to strangers, whether I'd keep in contact or not. I just couldn't live like that, wondering...Josh doesn't want his child living with feelings of abandonment, even if later they realized why we could do that, for their best interest. Having Josh try to raise the baby by himself(he'll be almost ETS'd out by the time s/he's born), or me stay in and be a single Army Mom...No. Give it to either one of our parents or other relatives? Oh, h*** no. They've already screwed up raising us and our siblings; besides, it's not really fair to them.
Josh and I get along beautifully. We think on the same wavelength. We were a thousand miles apart, and came to the same conclusion. No woman(that I know of) goes into a relationship without thinking "Is this the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with?" Josh doesn't believe in spending more than a few weeks with someone unless he feels he can deal with her on a long-term, if not permanent, basis. He's said he's seriously considered marrying me before; he's told me and others this. On an intellectual basis, I know what the pros and cons, risks and rewards are. I know in my heart what they are, and I'm willing to risk it, and not just for the sake of the name.
I appreciate the advise. My parents have toughed it out through 20 years and 3 kids; Josh's parents were never even married. We'd like to say we've learned from our folk's mistakes, but so far that's not true. We want very much to change that.
Sorry this got so long, and sorry for any misprints; crappy keyboard:)
ABD
Posted on Jul 3, 1999, 10:45 PM from IP address 129.130.82.55