GOTTA LOVE LITTLE BOYS


Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?'

'Eight,' the boy replied.

The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'

The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one.'

The Nun and the Cabbie


A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the
VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask,
but I don't want to offend you.'

She answers, ' My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am
and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear
just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or
ask that I would find offensive.'

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'

She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have
to be single and #2, you must be Catholi c.'

The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'

'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

'My dear child,' said the nun, 'Why are you crying?'

'Forgive me but I've e sinned. I lied and I must confess; I'm married and
I'm Jewish.'

The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween
party.'

Respect for All

An Arab-American family was considering putting their grandfather in a nursing
home. All the Arab facilities were completely full so they had to put him in a
Jewish home. After a few weeks in the Jewish facility, they came to visit
Grandpa.


"How do you like it here?" asks the grandson.

"It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful,"
says Grandpa.

"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place
for you."

"Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents
here," Grandpa says with a big smile. "There's a musician here.
He's 85-years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years and everyone
still calls him 'Maestro'. And there's a physician here, 90 years
old. He hasn't been practicing medicine for 25 years and everyone still
calls him 'Doctor'!" "Also a Federal Judge, retired for over
30 years, is still addressed as 'Your Honour'."

"And me, I haven't had sex for 30 years and they still call me
'the ****ing Arab'."

The Buttocks

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the
Man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the
Husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body
Because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate
Some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body
That the doctor felt was suitable would have to come
From her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they
would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they
requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After
All, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was
completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face.
He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his
Friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful
Beauty! One day, he was alone! with his wife, and he was
overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, 'Dear,
I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.
How can I possibly repay you?'
'My darling,' she replied,
'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother
kiss you on the cheek.'

If this doesn't make you smile ~ nothing will!