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Armenian sayings: Too Funny!!!! Just for Fun-Totally Pointless!!!

February 6 2009 at 9:19 PM
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Artemis  (no login)

 

Armenian sayings: Too Funny!!!!

"Artemis Khadiwala"

Just for Fun - Totally Pointless

Here are a few Armenian sayings that proove to us that we shouldnt
translate them in english:


- khelket sirem - let me love your brain
- Eshou tsak : donkeys son
- Zekhemin keuk : the poisons root
- kloukhs mi artouger: dont iron my head
- barab dagar : empty barrel
- amma khyar es : your such a cucumber
- eshoun sadgadz deghe : the place where the donkey died
- baytelik es : your gonna blow up
- fesh fesh enoughe : the spray bottle
- gadghadz gabig es : your an exited monkey
- vodkis dage bidi arnem : im gonna put you under my feet
- chortsadz lati bes es : your like a dried cloth
- eshou kak : donkeys ****
- inch ga chiga? : whats existing and what isnt?
- maman vorige gerere : the mom ate your ass
- Pores ge keshe gor: my stomach is driving
- Kitt perant meg gnem : I'll do your mouth & nose 1 .
- Tasis vra-en antsa : I passed on my homework.
- Moukht ge marem : I'll put off your smoke.
- Anoush Paghnik : Sweet shower.
- Anoush ella : may it be sweet.
- baghadz abour es : you are cold soup
- peranes maz ge pousn i: hair is growing out of my mouth
- kaken e : its from the ****
- hasagit chap lezou ounis : your tongue is as long as your
height
- Klookhs darir : you took my head away
- chigheroos tbar : u touched my veins
- Sird chi ga : there isnt any heart
- shat es eres arnum - you're purchasing way too many faces
- Mernem jigyarit! - Let me die on your liver
- Che Ha - No Yes
- poush poush hayvan - hedgehog
- kloukhet taghem - I'll bury your head
- tsaynet tzuynet chelav - your voice and snow didnt come out
- tepp-teghin - yell-yellow
- bus-barab - empty bus
- sussik-pussik - silent cat
- mukhes maretzav - my smoke deleted
- tzavet danem - I'll take away your pain
- khelkes tartzav - my brain flipped over
- hame hode hanetzir - you took out the odor and taste
- boyit mernem - let me die on your tallness
- fsdekhi bes degha eh : hes a boy like a peanut
- ehh kna yao veras kere - tsk..go and write something on me
- hokis elav = my soul left
- Kakeh hanetsir - you took the **** out.
- Engeris patsi - I opened my friend
- panosin atchke khosi - panos' eye talk
- echoo koolookh - head of a donkey
- kake hanetzir - you took the **** out
- kheyari genemanis--- --> u look like a cucumber
- sird chounim - i have no heart
- sird chi ga - there isnt any heart
- tserkerout talar - ur hands ever fresh
- chigheroos tbar - u touched my veins
- kites peranes perir - you brought it from my nose and my mouth
- kezi bade bidi paktsenem - im gonna stick u to the wall







 
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AuthorReply
Aram
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There is a point

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February 8 2009, 8:35 AM 

Would you call them idioms?

 
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Artemis
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The Old Lady and her Young Husband

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February 11 2009, 9:09 AM 


The Old Lady and her Young Husband
**********************************


When I went to lunch today,

I noticed an old lady near a park bench sobbing her eyes out.

I stopped and asked her what was wrong.


She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."

I said, "Well, then why are you crying?"


She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon".


I said, "Well, why are you crying?"


She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a.m.


I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"



She said, "I can't remember where I live!!!!"


 
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Elizabeth
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DEAR EDITOR - ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND

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February 12 2009, 8:38 AM 


Dear Editor




How did this "Richard Cranium" live long enough to reach retirement?


Make sure you read this to the end - there is a punch line . . . .


DEAR EDITOR - ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND:

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow
older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same
quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When
you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive,
and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with
my wife, Terri.

When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Terri
to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra
income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after
she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her
age. I usually get home from the golf club right about the same
time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says
she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I
don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake
me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in
the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm
usually ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But
now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours
after we eat dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
evening that they won't clean themselves. And, I know she really
appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done
before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she
will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse,
so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out
over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so
much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then
wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is
one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest
periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished
mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene because I'm a fair man.
I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed
lemonade and just sit for awhile. And, as long as she is making one
for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Terri. I'm
not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men
would find it difficult. Some would find it impossible! Nobody knows
better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However,
guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your
aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well
worthwhile After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Signed,

Jim

EDITOR'S NOTE:

Jim died suddenly on February 4th of a perforated rectum. The police
report states he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big
Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches
of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Terri
was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only
10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that somehow
Jim, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.




 
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Artemis
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"Five marriage stories"

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February 16 2009, 4:44 PM 


"Five marriage stories"


Marriage (Part I)

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and
After the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
give me a hard time about it
Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said:
"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."

(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)

******* *****************************************

Marriage (Part II)


Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary !


The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
That reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever!'"


"Yeah?" she replies "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
That reads, 'Here Lies My Husband! -- Stiff At Last!'"

(HE AS ASKED FOR IT!)


*****************************************

Marriage (Part III)


Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no
Good in bed either," and storms out of the house.


After some time he realizes he was nasty and
decides to make amends and rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband
Says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"


She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Gett ing a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

*****************************************

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.

He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
Wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.


One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home
and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts
At the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
Shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."


(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

*****************************************

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home
And were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife
To wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
Of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.


Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he
Noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM Wake up."


Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

*****************************************

God may have created man before woman, but there
Is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.






 
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