I got a nice e-mail from a ventriloquist in Africa asking for a Christmas skit that I had posted in the past. Here it is from memory. (New and improved.-The skit, not the memory) Be sure to scroll down.
Christmas skit with the bear.
V: Ventriloquist B: Bear
V: Folks, I have someone I want to introduce to you. (bring out the bear) His name is __________.
B: What are we doing here?
V: I want you to meet all of these people.
B: Oh, good! I get to eat these people.
V: I said meet!
B: I like meat!
V: You know, this is a very special time of year.
B: Yes! It's almost my bedtime!
V: A lot of kids are looking forward to a visit from Santa Claus.
V: Santa Claus.
B: Is he a bear?
B: You said he has claws.
V: He is not a bear.
B: What does he look like?
V: He has white hair on his head and even on his face.
B: Oh! He's a polar bear!
V: No. He is a person. Little children will sit on his lap...
B: So he can eat them!
V: So they can tell him what they want.
B: What does he wear?
V: He has on a red suit with white fur.
B: He has white fur?
B: See. I told you he was a polar bear.
V: He wears a red and white outfit.
B: Oh! He works for Coca-Cola!
V: And he has a black belt.
B: He knows karate!
V: And he wears warm boots.
B: What's inside the boots?
V: His socks.
B: What's inside the socks?
V: His bare feet.
B: See, I told you he was a bear!
V: So, you have never heard of Santa Claus?
V: He comes around near the end of December.
B: Well, that explains it! I'm always asleep by then.
V: Oh, that's right! So you don't know about his sleigh?
V: Or his reindeer?
B: No. Wait a minute. One time a reindeer woke me up. He had a very shiny nose. You could even say it glows.
V: That might have been him!
B: And once I heard some people singing outside the cave.
V: They were probably Christmas carolers. Were they good?
B: They were delicious!