Hey gang, can anybody help me with some ideas for an easter presentation I am going to do.
I want to use my axtell alligator, but am in a idea slump. I have punked him out with a black vest and a florescent green mohawk, really cool.
My age group is teenagers, AAAAHHHHHH,eek. Can anyone help? thanks matman
Tony Borders must still be out on the road or he would have jumped in with the groaner puns.
Q: What's the similarity between a Crocodile and Windows?
A: Neither of them has enough bytes.
Q: How many arms has a crocodile got?
A: Depends how far he has got with eating his dinner
The Louisiana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators while in St. Tammany, Jefferson & Orleans Parish.
They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as "little bells" on their clothing to alert, but not startle the alligators, unexpectedly.
They also advise the carrying of "pepper spray" in case of an encounter with an alligator. It's also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity and be able to recognize the difference between young alligator and adult alligator droppings.
Young alligator droppings are small, contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers.
Adult alligators droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper. Ron
Interesting this subject would come up! One of my favorite alligator routines I use to do was at Easter at Church events / Easter Egg hunts! I would put a fuzzy pom pom "rabbit tail" on the tip of his long gator tail, and put a headband with Rabbit ears on his head. Before he comes out...you announce that you have a special Easter guest who wants to meet everyone....the Easter Bunny! I go get him, but I am skeptical. I forget the patter, but basically I bring up my doubts about him, and he would make an excuse...(your body is all rough and hard....yeah but my bunny tail and ears are soft) on an on... finally he sneezes and off go the ears... I accuse him of being a fraud and he starts crying... I knew you would never let me come to your (easter egg hunt, easter party, etc) so I tried to sneak in as the Easter Bunny! Boo hoo hooo..... Now stop of course we would let you come...you see, Easter isn't even about Bunnies, or Eggs...of course all that's fun to do...but we are here today to celebrate and remember that Christ rose from the Grave! Fill out the routine with more details...have fun.
Great ideas above. You failed to mention whether this is for church or not. I am assuming so, since there are few secular events at Easter for teens. Here are some thoughts:
Alligator is a last minute replacement for the Easter Bunny, who met with an unfortunate accident. (Thus the outfit Steve mentioned.) He keeps complaining about being thirsty. He's got cotton mouth. You reach in (a few failed attempts here as he tries to bite you) and pull out a large cotton ball. Where did you get this?
Uh... It's my lucky rabbit's tail.
Don't you mean lucky rabbit's foot?
Oh, I've got one of those too!
His job is to hide the easter eggs, which he can do very well because alligators have eggs and they hide them in the swamp. He just has to find a swamp! (Talk about your flooded basement, etc.)
If you have an Axtell bird it could come out on the other hand as if it hatched from the egg and then it would think that the alligator was it's mother. The bird wouldn't have to say much. (It's called imprinting, I believe. Ducks follow the first living thing they see.) More food jokes at this point.
Audience as food jokes:
Tell everyone it's nice to meet them.
It's nice to eat you.
I said meet!
Good. I like meat!
Ask for a volunteer to run around in circles. (Don't actually get one) Why? I like fast food!
Here is a skit of PUNishment for Ron. Hopefully there will be no PUNitive damages! I realize it may be opening up PUNdora's box!
V: Vent P: Puppet
V: Ladies and gentlemen we have an expert on the subject of Easter with us today.
P: That's not quite correct.
V: Really? I was told you knew all about Easter.
P: I'm an EGG-spert. Not an expert. It's easy to get the two confused.
V: Well, what do you mean?
P: Let me give you an EGGS-ample.
V: Well, I hope you can make it EGGS-citing!
P: (Just stares at you.) That was my line!
V: Sorry.
P: I'm the star today.
V: Oh, really?
P: You're just an EGGS-tra!
V: Okay. Enough PUNishment!
P: EGGS-actly.
V: What can you tell us about Easter?
P: I was born on Easter.
V: Really?
P: From an Easter egg.
V: Are you sure?
P: That's the day I came out of my shell.
V: So what is your favorite part of Easter?
P: I love the lights on the tree and the gifts under the tree and the carols we sing....
V: EGG-scuse me. That's not Easter. That's Christmas.
P: Well, I like that holiday.
V: You were born on Easter but you don't know anything about it?
P: Let me think... Oh, yeah! On Easter I get a cake and there's a candle on the cake and I spit on the candle and make a wish.
V: That's your birthday. And you don't spit on the candle!
P: I do. Then no one else wants any of the cake.
V: You have got to teach us something about Easter.
P: OH! YOu're putting me under EGG-streme pressure!
V: I asked you to stop that.
P: I was just EGGing you on!
V: Let me give you a hint as to what Easter is all about.
P: (Looks you in the face and then at your belly.) OH, YEAH! You have a scary mask and you get a lot of candy and you eat it and you gain weight!
V: No!
P: That was a good hint!
V: That was Halloween.
P: I give up!
V: I'll give you a hint. Jesus died...
P: What? You never told me that he was dead! That is so sad!
V: He isn't dead.
P: Did he die?
V: Yes.
P: Then he's dead! Oh, no!
V: He's not dead!
P: Well, make up your mind.
V: He arose!
P: What?
V: He arose!
P: (thinking) He's a rose?
V: No. You remember that Jesus died on the cross.
P: Oh, that's right.
V: Then his body was placed in the tomb.
P: Oh, yes!
V: But he didn't stay there.
P: That's right! After three days he came out of the grave!
V: Now you've got it!
P: And if he sees his shadow he goes back in and we have six more weeks of bad weather.
V: Jesus never went back in. He stayed out of the grave. Say goodbye!
P: Goodbye! It's time for my EGG-zit!
A mandatory drug test is crucial. Tony, you crack me up, especially with the way you so quickly reduce, reuse and recycle some of your basic routines. A 9.6 core
Actually, the real eye opener today is yet another blizzard has socked me in so no seniors' drives this morning and a line from Steve's last post. I thought the exclamation mark was an "l"..what..from the gravel!
Ron
I do recall posting part of this script before, but it was good to redo it with puns in mind, adding much more possible (not plausible) material to the beginning.
I'll be thinking about you while sitting by the pool today. The thought of snow might cool me off.
Jesus did not rise from the gravel, just a big rock! Here is the rock skit for anyone that wants to take the time to make a rock. I originally wrote this for One Way Street.
(Rock puppet can be made by carving a 4 inch sheet of foam into the shape of a tombstone. It is easy to carve with one of those electric carving knives used to slice up a ham. Then pluck out a face with your fingers in the front. The mouth will be a serious, flat, straight line. Then take the carving knife and go about an inch deep into the foam right along the line.
From the bottom edge cut a slit deep enough for your hand to go up.)
A simpler rock can be made by ducttaping two boxes together with the open ends toward the back to use as a place for your hand. Hinge them along the openings, thus creating a mouth. Then put wadded paper in spots to make them lumpy as you put duct tape all around them. Add a couple of those wiggly eyes available at Wal-Mart or fabric stores.
Skit:
Hello. My name is Tom Stone. I've been around for a lo-o-ong time! I want to tell y ou about something that happened nearly 2,000 years asgo! When I tell you, you may think I'm losing my marbles. YOu may think I'm cracking up! But don't take what I have to say for granite! It really happened!
2,000 years ago I had a great job as a gravestone. I was outstanding in my field. People were dying for my services. I worked the graveyard shift.
Then it happened. A man named Jesus approached me and wanted to rent my tomb for 3 dfays. I told him that I was working for Joseph of Arimathea, and I expected him to drop in at any time. Jesus said that it would be okay and I thought it would be a quick way to make some cold cash. Besides, who would find out that I was moonlighting? It seemed like all the gravestones but me were making a killing! So I let Jesus use the tomb. After all, dead men tell no tales.
Everything happened at once! People were yelling, "Crucify him! Crucify him! The sky turned dark! There was an earthquake! My friends were all shooik up! They put Jesus inside. If I had been a little boulder I would have spoken up thne! Right away they rolled me over and tied me down! Everyoe left but the guards.
Things were pretty quiet for three days. Then Jesus started saying that He wanted back out! I said, "You're stuck between a rock and a hard place! I'm a little tied up at the moment!" But Jesus got me untied and rolled me over as neat as you please. The gurads fainted and Jesus stepped out. It was a powerful sight to see!
Yes, a dead man came back to life! It's true! I was stone-cold sober! I got out of the body business though. I started a rock group! I call it ...
the Rolling Stones!
NOTE: This skit is very difficult to memorize, so I tape it up and use it behind a puppet curtain.
Keep in mind, folks, that you can click on search just for this forum and find ideas that have been posted in the past. Here is a post from last year resurrected for this year's Easter.
Magic that goes with Easter: Use the t.tip to make a silk vanish and then have it reappear inside a medium size egg.
There is a magic trick by Ian Adair that has Easter Eggs inside a net. When a child "chooses one" you are able to force it. It costs under $10. It is available through www.grandillusions.com. And you already know about different ways to produce a live bunny.
The Axtell special effects drawing board can be used to draw an egg, then erase the top half and draw a cracked open bottom half. Suddenly a picture of your puppet rises up out of the egg. This introduces him. He just needed a little help coming out of his shell before coming on stage.
Skit:
V: Vent E: Eggstra puppet
V: Boys and girls, I am very excited because we have a special visitor today! The Easter Bunny is going to take a break from painting all of those eggs and he is going to join us today! (You look in the case and gasp but don't pull him/her out yet!)
E: (voice) Hello, there! Are you ready for me to come out?
V: You're not quite what I had in mind!
E: Just tell them how I look. So they won't be surprised.
V: Well... He has long ears.
E: The better to hear you with!
V: And he has a small nose.
E: So I can't smell you as much!
V: And his nose kind of twitches.
E: Aaaaachooo! Can I come out, please? It's a little chilly in here.
V: (Bring out the puppet, dressed with fake bunny ears and tail as Steve suggested.)
E: Wow! Look at this! What a crowd!
V: You're an alligator! (or whatever it is)
E: Yes. What were you expecting? The Easter Bunny?
V: Well, actually, yes! I told the boys and girls that the Easter Bunny would be here today.
E: And they believed you? (pause) Actually, I'm here because the Easter Bunny needed some help. It's a very busy time of year for him, you know! And he has all of those kids at home too. You have a lot of bunnies at your house.
V: I don't have any bunnies.
E: You have a whole bunch of dust bunnies. Ha, ha, ha! Sorry! That's a dirty joke! Ha, ha, ha!
V: Now, you said that you are helping the Easter Bunny?
E: I'm helping the Easter Bunny paint the eggs. I used to do face painting but I got fired.
V: Why did you get fired from painting faces?
E: They didn't like the roller I was using! Did you see The Grinch? That was some of my best work!
V: So you are painting eggs now.
E: Yes. I put stripes on them. I like the racing stripes the best. Vrrooom! Vrooom! (makes sounds like a racing car). Eeeeerrrrr! Crash!
V: What was that?
E: I crashed! You know, I really like painting eggs.
V: Really?
E: I really am an egg-spert when it comes to eggs.
V: You're not eggs-aggerating? (sp?)
E: I can tell the boys and girls where the eggs come from.
V: Go ahead.
E: They come from the store!
V: How do they get to the store.
E: In an egg carton.
V: But how do the egg cartons get to the store?
E: In a truck!
V: Where do the eggs come from originally?
E: A factory?
V: They don't come from a factory. They come from a farm...
E: Oh, I know! They come from a pharmacy!
V: No! They come from a farm! Listen closely. I'm going to give you a hint.
This will tell you where the eggs come from. Boys and girls don't tell him the answer. I want him to figure it out. (get really serious. Clear your throat.) Buck! Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck! There!
E: I need a bigger hint.
V: Buck, buck, buck, buck!
E: Keep going!
V: Why?
E: I just want to see if you'll give me a million bucks!
V: Boys and girls what did I make you think of?
(kids yell out Chicken)
V: Did you hear that?
E: Yes. They called you a chicken!
V: No. They want you to know that eggs come from a chicken.
E: Oh! Oh! I have to go now. I just had a great idea!
V: (You start to bring him back to the container.) What's your idea?
E: Instead of painting all of those eggs, I'll just go paint the chickens!
I can use a roller!
The End
Matman, please get Borders to stop! It could be done easily enough. For example,
"Dear Mr. Tony Borders, Thanks you for indicating your beliefs to me.
Actually, I need the information for April 19th to the 26th, or the 15th of Nisan which is called Pesach or Passover or the Festival of Matzot (Chag Hamatzot) or even as the Festival of Spring(Chag Haaviv).
My former prof in my Judaism classes would be proud.." Crowley, you are a donkey..are you my punishment from God?"
Anyway Matman, Tony has shot his rounds for the day so maybe he'll get a little wet as he tries to take a shortcut by walking across his pool!
At least MY lake is frozen solid and I can walk across without getting wet!
Brother Ron
My apologies, Ron, and others, for posting so much for the Christian celebration of Easter. I had e-mailed the original question giver to ask if he wanted secular or religious and got no response, so I posted both.
Ron, I hear your EGGs-asperation and will stop the EGGS-temperaneous writing which so EGGSorbitantly uses puns. When working with teens it is best not to be EGGStravagent.
Thanks guys, This is great stuff, and sorry I should have indicated that my presentation is a christian ministry. Super Ideas, and thank you all so much.
The ideas are ex actly, ex ceptional, ex tremely appriciated. Matman out