Ron---- Bern, pass me the International section,please.
Bern---- Mr. Crowley and please don't dwell on the Mister..do you ever think this is a bit weird that you get us up at four every morning? First, you send Maisie Grace out to the township road to get the paper then we sit here and eat breakfast while we read. Then the dogs go out..you go through your morning constitutionals and then we go back to bed until 7.30 until we go out and drive seniors around. Plus beginning at four we have to read every section in order..first, Business..then Sports..then the Front section..then whatever! Do you ever feel you might be retentive enough to go back to the classroom?
Ron----Bern, are you saying that you have the toughest job in the world being my vent figure?
Bern---- You know that's low hanging fruit,but to be truthful something I read last night in the downstairs head showed me the worst job in the world.
Ron---Really, tell me about it
Bern----Well,I think it's the quality control inspector for Johnstons. You see,I had purchased this rectal thermo meter and I was reading the instructions. They read,open the package and carefully place device on a table or surface so it will not be broken or chipped. Then it says in small print that every thermometer is personally tested and sanitized. That Mr. C. is somewhat rougher than being your stooge. Pass me the Entertainment section,please.

Good morning Ron! I think that might be good job for retired politicians. What kind of figure is Bern?

Good morning Ron! I think that might be good job for retired politicians. What kind of figure is Bern?

It's pre-siesta time, Steve and Anonymous.
Bern is a post war Axtell latex figure baptized Floyd. He has a Department of Highways haircut---bare the centre bare and is generally a high maintenance vent figure who has turned my hair gray also.
Religious fanatics, papaya afficianados, and real beards seem to ring his chimes the most.
When upset he swears in joual French which darn near got us kicked out of Kenner, Louisiana in March.

I see that Bern likes to anal-yze everything.

I thought the bird in the pan discussion was fried but Tony just made it extra fried. Okay..another 9.8!

Hey, Ron that got me thinking. I didn't really like my last job. I used to sell hearing aids.... by phone!

I slid my hearing aid joke through in a recent post but I'm not going to try it again.! It sounds like that was a tough job although not as tough as one Bern had.
Ron----Bern, what's the toughest fix you've ever been in?
Bern---Easy, I was captured by cannibals and every day they'd poke me with spears and use my blood to wash down my food.
Ron--That's incredible! How did you ever get out of that fix?
Bern----Well it wasn't easy but I called the chief over and said I'm a northerner so you kill me or eat me..I don't care!
Ron----Bless my Aunt Theresa, and that was enough for the chief to free you?
Bern---Heck no. It was when he understood how much I was getting tired of getting stuck for drinks!
Ron--My goodness it sounds like that chief was a real problem solver. Was he able to help you in any other ways?
Bern---Yep, he had great advice when I told him I don't like my mother in law.
Ron---What did he suggest?
Bern---He said, " so try the potatoes!"