I've just been invited by a state sponsored entertainment troupe to take part in a 4 day, 16 show tour in April. Now I've really gotta practice!

Good for you. Hope you do well Santa. Sometimes you gotta crow .

What is a state sponsored entertainment troupe?(surely an ex-copper wouldn't be part of a prison show)? At this point do you plan a vent show solely? Sixteen shows in four days is moving. Remember, if it's a paying gig I know an agent (LOL)! Congrats.Ron

The Montana Storytelling Roundup is paid for by the Office of Education and the Montana Arts Council to visit schools and communities with a variety of artists -- sort of like Shakespeare n the Park except we apparently do a wrap up show for the county at the end of the week along with some workshops for those who are interested.

That's great! It would be a good thing to mention in mailouts to other schools. It would also be a good thing to tell the newspaper about 3 or 4 weeks before the event, so they could have a reporter come out.

As a newsman for 22 years I would suggest against advertising the show as an event where some ink stained wretch would come out.
This is better done in the basement of a small town church where the old dollies with blue hair are offering tiny sandwiches cut into cunning shapes.
The old gals look like arch Republicans, but at times can be most sympathetic to one's personal announcements. I once announced my opposition to the law of gravity at such an event. In sympathy I was lovingly given a tomato and cucumber sandwich with the crusts cut off and the bread dotted with Miracle Whip. The event's powerful blue rinse female said it was clear that when I was born I had a silver spoon in my mouth. I said I couldn't remember but I thanked her. Discretion prevented me from suggesting she could get full time Santa work out in the rhubarb in Montana, although to make more money she'd have to become a migrant worker and work a few months in California. Her mother must have really been tickled when she was born since by now this woman was truly a real beard! I found it hard to keep my attention off her long white,facial hairs but did this my silently repeating The Law Of the Wolf Cub Pack which I learned at age seven. TODAY, I shall gnaw through my leather restraints.

?

After 22 years in news I'm sure you would have preferred an "arsenic and old lace" event to a potluck in the same church basement, however, there should be some human interest in a troupe going to so many schools and sponsored by the state. Now, if you want to make the television news you have to add a dog to the mix.

This gal sounds like an Edna....

I'm still trying to figure out what the heck he was saying...

Santa, in Ron's retorts he often goes off on a tangent. He has used the previous post to bring all of the tangents back together, forming some interesting new shape. The prose is excellent and the references to past posts are layered throughout.

Silver spoon: From the movie "Caddyshack". When Chevy Chase is told that someone was born with a silver spoon in their mouth he replies, "That must have hurt".

Question for any news personnel of 22 years experience or more: If we vents would like to have an upcoming program placed in the newspaper, what is the best method for doing that?

Egad, Axe and Tony have fallen to a point where they can parse my ramblings! The first thing to do is to learn the terms..radio and TV are not press but media and press lines bird cages.(extremely subjective). The next step is to identify reporters who focus on local happenings. Then one can try to cultivate a friendly reporter. A hint..deal with them as you would school principals or clergy..they'll probably okay a concept as long as you do all the work and they get some recognition. So let's pretend you have a 10-15 minute routine which is in and out fast. I don't have to work for money so what I say will offend those who work to live. In and out freebies at say Rotary, United Way annual dinners, what ever are just a vehicle for free media exposure. Arrange the free gig, and say you will ensure it is covered by a print reporter(one has to slum occasionally). The necessity is a free meal for the reporter( as cubs we lived off covering sominex meetings). Now with media cutbacks it's possible many shops no longer have leg reporters so here's what you do. two weeks before the event you ENSURE you have ANY two reps from the local club who can stand for one of those horrible grip and grin shots.Then YOU do all the arrangements with the editor and go to their office for the shot(of, course you're in it!).

Then you begin a campaign of sending story ideas or stories to your friendly reporter. if possible, try to create "evergreens" or stories which will stand up for a month and be available for slow week end editions.Also you must learn how to write a news release..this is available on the Internet. This advice is so basic and it might be easier if any interested person asked for specific clarifications.

Thanks, Ron. I have a set of shows sponsored by the police in a nearby town and hope to have the story placed in the appropriate paper.

Naw, he's still a cop.
Is it true your old man is quite the baseball pitcher?
Dude, that's for sure. You should see his fuzz ball!
I also heard your father plays lead guitar in a band.
Right, you should hear his fuzz tone!
Dude, what sound does a police dog make?
I know that one. Narc, narc.

Tony, I know .....all stuff I heard on Grade Three yard duty. yet it's a start.

Lots of material to draw from yard duty eh Ron. My favourite was when I heard one little girl in grade one say to her friend at recess, "That's the last time I'll wrap a sucker in a Kleenex!"

When I was in the third grade a little girl went crying to the teacher and said that I had kicked her. The teacher came out and very sternly asked if I had kicked the little girl. I said, "I kneed her", meaning that I had kicked her with my knee.

"What?"
"I kneed her."
"You need her? Then why did you kick her?"
etc.

When I was in the third grade a little girl went crying to the teacher and said that I had treated her like an old loaf of bread. The teacher came out and very sternly asked if I had kicked the little girl. I said, "I kneed her", because she said I was a perfect yeast!

"What?"
"I knead her."
"You need her? I can see you'll grow up to be a real loafer!"
etc.

Speaking of invited I have a BLOG spot strickly set up for Veentriloquism puppet makers dialog writers for vents and everyone is welcome to come make a comment or write and article or add their opinion

VENTRILOQUIALLYYOURS.BLOGSPOT.COM
pass the word and come visit this blog is for all who are involved in vent in anyway what so ever, looking forward to your visit c u soon.
N Jay