Got my Magic Drawing Board today. Had to go to Sault Ste. Marie Michigan to pick it up. Just as I got on the International Bridge between Sault Ste. Marie , Ontario and Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan , the temp guage on the van started to register "HOT". Once you are on the bridge there is no way to turn around so I turned on the heater to cool the engine. The temp outside was about 72 degree.,The van got hot and then "She who must be obeyed's temp started to rise. Anyway, I picked up my MDB and managed to limp back to the auto dealer in Canada. At the time I thought the only blessing besides getting my MDB was that the customs guys on both sides of the "Line" were quite pleasant. Now that I reflect on it I'm sure that it will provide an idea for a joke or routine.At least I'll always remember when I got my MDB!

Nice points for turning on the heater..that's like knowing how to rock a stuck car with a manual trannie in snow. I still have to find some way to get the vent mike stand I saw at Vent Haven..it never slips!
Dear Americans, we get killed by duty charges when something crosses the border so one learns to be creative. So in other words if one crosses over into the Excited States one saves a whole %$@& of money.
Of course, I can't talk about the elephant in the room..asking if a fine Canadian lad would say, "I declare". Ici..Force Canada.
Steve, I'm not looking for a response.

Good morning Ron. The United States is about a 1/4 mils across the St. Mary's River on St. Joseph Island but we have to drive to Sault Ste Marie to cross the bridge into Michigan. Lots of people in the area cross over to Michigan to get gas, milk or go shopping. The toll is $2.00 each way and you can save some money on the items mentioned. The best thing though is a shipping business in Sault, Michigan that allows you to send stuff ordered in the U.S. to their address. They only charge a $3.00 fee.This cuts out the hefty brokerage fee you have to pay if the item is sent to Canada. If you are only in the States for the day or a couple of hours , when you cross back into Ontario always declare what you have bought. You only have to pay the GST and Provincial Tax. If your total purchases are not very high sometimes they just pass you through. You can,t do this every day otherwise you become an importer and different rules kick in. If you don't declare your stuff and get caught you can be red flagged and be hounded and checked every time you cross back into Canada. I spend part of the winter in Florida and can bring back $750 (Canadian $) duty free. That is when I am going to get Fred the Fried Chicken and maybe a Vern. Another bonus about living on a river border is you get to see great fireworks twice in one week. Once on July 1st and again on July 4th. (I digress...)

Every day a Canadian would check in coming back from the United States. The early afternoon customs agent began to recognize his shiny black Corvette and would stop him each time, as he knew the fellow had a history of smuggling. One day he might find a bag of kitty litter. Another day it would be a sack of sand or large bag of pea gravel. The customs agent would routinely sift through the product, fully expecting to find a stash of drugs, diamonds, or derringers trying to be smuggled in. He frequently checked behind door panels and inside the wheel wells. Parts of the engine, which was always kept clean, were examined.

One day he told his story to a former newsman named Ron Crowley. "I know he is smuggling something, but I don't know what! Every day he pulls away from me in that shiny Corvette I can see him laughing in the rear view mirror."

Ron thought for a moment about the items. Kitty litter... Sack of sand... Bag of pea gravel. He said, "This reminds me of a story I covered stateside back in October of '74. It's easy to remember because nothing much happened in the 70's stateside. Tomorrow, when you see him, you can arrest him for smuggling....

What item did Ron correctly deduce was being smuggled?

He was smuggling shiny black Corvettes.

In 1951 my Dad told me that story but it dealt with bicycles. You know, every time I hear about some major bust I realize how much does get through the federales. Same as joke writing. Sometimes you get caught..but that's art..that's the price of doing business. Tony, you don't often get nabbed. With respect, Ron

Like Neale I heard the joke from my dad and it was bicycles too.I knew some people that were Customs agents. They told me some pretty weird stories of what people tried to smuggle into the country. An example, one guy tinted vodka blue and put it in his car windshield washer compartment. I don't need a drink that bad! Talk about going off on a tangent. Does anyone know if you can get a Vern head with Verna's colours. I like them better. Guess I really should ask Ax.

Like Neale I heard the joke from my dad and it was bicycles too.I knew some people that were Customs agents. They told me some pretty weird stories of what people tried to smuggle into the country. An example, one guy tinted vodka blue and put it in his car windshield washer compartment. I don't need a drink that bad! Talk about going off on a tangent. Does anyone know if you can get a Vern head with Verna's colours. I like them better. Guess I really should ask Ax.

Sorry I sent that last comment twice. Think of this way. A comment for each eye.

Bags, t'wasn't it, Tony? bag of cat litter, sack of sand...he was bringin' good ol' bags korean made american bags into Canada

It's funny Steve, 17 years in front of the mike with the border 20 minutes away makes one know all the tricks. About 18 years ago we moved north( in the Kawartha Lakes near Peterborough). The border things I miss are PBS Radio and TV and quick forays for shopping. That shipping service is one clever idea!
This morning the Tour Director was scanning the teacher mag and at the stroke-inducing stories at the back where teachers have to appear before the provincial disciplinary board.The first dealt with a complaint that a child had not been allowed to go out for recess as a punishment for not completing homework. Instantly dismissed,of course, but an immense amount of stress for the poor teacher whose licence was on the line. Dang!! just went outside to let the hounds in. I could hear the shotguns banging down in our bay(about 150 yards away). Must be hunting season again. Gotta love city folk moving in and blasting away. Means small kids and dogs are banned from the bush lot for over a month. Funny that..my Dad was a guide and I grew up hunting and fishing. Went into radio and moved all around Ontario. Discovered women and sailing and now the only things I kill are the accepted ways of doing proper ventriloquism.

My hats are off to teachers. You and I know what they (we) put up with from parents. One set would say, "Make it harder, be tougher." While the other would say, "My li'l one's never had trouble before. See. His other teachers had nice things to say...Likes to be the class clown...enjoys making others laugh...draws attention. Go easy on my li'l one."

My hat is off to teachers. They are a caring, intelligent lot, and I don't always agree with them but I try to support them.

Keep on killing traditional ventriloquism, Ron. You may discover a new form of entertainment for us.