in the first lesson you were asked to select your top five favourite jokes. Lesson two's task was to select 10 adjectives(thanks Tony for your appreciated clarification on modifiers).
Today let's match the list of 10 adjectives with 10 nouns which might have the potential for comedy. Here's my contribution:
snobby waiter
tough waitress
lean jogger
sneaky investments dealer
conservative teacher
fanatical politician
slippery swimmer
inebriated driving instructor
nervous tight rope walker
lazy parachute folder

Now I know at present this can seem like a slow process but we'll soon be at a point where you'll be downhill skiing with the pines whizzing by and hopefully loving it!
A reminder that I'll soon be asking you to describe your favourite five cartoons in a sentence. Yes,I know that after fifty there is a challenge involved in remembering something you saw in 1973.
Now let's wait to see Tony's 10 adjectives and 10 nouns.

hilarious hoodlum
rediculous reporter
knowledgeable kite flyer
cuckoo cartoonist
absurd airplane pilot
brilliant bartender
wonderful window washer
dubious dentist
electrifying train engineer
merciful maitre'd

How am I doing I hope that this is hilariously knowledgeable to your cuckoo mind.

Canadian Mountie
Plaid skintone
ambitious brother-in-law
disgusting leftovers
old-time lifestyle
copacetic superhero
loud buzz
dun cow
rotten core
beautiful dreamer

Dung cow. Not bad!. We could call her Pattie.

Dun is complete. It is a color. I first heard it from a great book called "The Book of the Dun Cow". It won National Book of the Year in the early 80's. I believe it was written by Walter Wangerin.

I always liked the sound of it. The Dun Cow. Sounds like a BBQ.

or it sounds like what ever the cow was doing 'its dun

I recall an Irish Drinking song about the old dun cow (pronounced auld dun koo)something about getting drunk when the old dun cow caught fire - in this case the dun cow was a pub.

I was looking for contrasts when I tackled Ron's list

mousy model
lonely matchmaker
happy undertaker
carefree accountant
ditzi president
flaky car salesman
ambitious caretaker
nervous surgeon
flaming lunberjack
metrosexual hunter

I realized dun was a colour but it was just too tempting to riff off Tony..N Jay came in nicely too. Metro sexual( a straight gay poser wannabe and not considered a insulting term)..I wonder if the Americans use that Toronto word?
Gee, I bet that new Axtell bird you bought ,Ian, would be the perfect metrosexual character with latent redneck tendencies which, of course, would include hunting.
That is so severely bent!
I bet a few of the brethren could advance you some joke ideas. (gentle reader, I have already sent Ian some riffs for his bird I composed off yesterday's Globe and Mail newspaper fashion page).

...I come across many Metrosexuals and many rednecks. Never dared to combine them around here but hmmm....A metrosexual redneck? Does that mean when he goes Muddin' he has to get the expensive mud from the salons? Or does he just scrape the mud from his truck when he goes to get a facial?

And a hunter? What's he do, take his mounted heads for Antler Waxing? Oi the possibilities...

I have been working on a character for Verna for a little while and I mentioned it to Ron recently. I think he is a metro
sexual redneck. He has a very deep gravelly voice but he really likes pretty
things. He talks like a redneck, but uses very urban phrases. Something
along the lines of:

Bird: I walked into Canadian Tire (yes I am another Canadian, and Canadian Tire is a HUGE hardware chain in Canada) the other day and they had this green and
purple chain saw on sale. Well not exactly green - it was more like a
Kentucky Bluegrass green and the purple was more a lavender. It was soooo
pretty that I just had to buy it. (check it out - Cnd Tire really does have
a green and purple chainsaw). I am going to use it to cut down the lilac tree that has been crowding out my pansies.

One of his eyebrows fell off the other day and it reminded me of a true story that happened to a close friend ( a women).
Rather than fix it, I might use this in a story.

Bird: So I was in hurry gitten ready for the guys coming over to watch
NASCAR. I was using a curling iron on my feathers with one hand, and an
eyelash curler with the other hand. (I will have him explain that an
eyelash curler sort of clamps on to the eye and curls it). Anyway, the hot
curling iron touched the back of my neck and startled me and I pulled my
eyelashes out. Well guys were just merciless.

I really enjoyed your adjective and noun choices, Ian. I like the idea of putting the contrasts together.

mousy model
lonely matchmaker
happy undertaker
carefree accountant
ditzi president
flaky car salesman
ambitious caretaker
nervous surgeon
flaming lunberjack
metrosexual hunter

hesitant Nascar driver
klepto cop
blacklight ventriloquist
verbal mime
colorblind painter
anti-social party planner
gossiping priest
private social worker
adult babysitter
running jaywalker
charitable miser
shortsighted palm reader
serious comedian
humorous Canadian

(Thanks to my 13 year old son for many of the above. He enjoyed your list.)

Successful hobo
calm postal worker
vegetarian butcher
urban farmer
clumsy gymnast
dog loving cat burglar
illiterate author
cool dork
tolerant wine taster
sniveling chef
pointless archer with a steady quiver
lasting vapor
lazy workaholic
concise politician


These can become funny when they are used in a sentence.

I don't have the wardrobe to be a metro sexual.(source-me)

"I have been working on a character for Verna for a little while and I mentioned it to Ron recently. I think HE(my bold letters) is a metro-sexual redneck".(source-Ian)

"These can become funny when they are used in a sentence".(source Mr. Borders)

It's early in the morning..I've got a long ride with a patient today and I'm laughing!

Good Writing Advice

In promulgating your esoteric cogitations or articulating your superficial
sentimentalities and amicable philosophical or psychological observations,
beware of platitudinous ponderosity.

Let your conversational communications possess a compacted conciseness, a
clarified comprehensibility, a coalescent cogency and a concatenated
consistency.

Eschew obfuscation and all conglomeration of flatulent garrulity, jejune
babblement and asinine affectations.

Let your extemporaneous descants and unpremeditated expatiations have
intelligibility and voracious vivacity without rodomontade or thrasonical
bombast.

Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, pompous prolificacy and vain
vapid verbosity.

If you are really interested to know, the above means: "Be brief and don't
use big words."

what he said...

My Tennessee friend speaks great wisdom.

Successful hobo

He had been successful for many years in his life as a hobo.

Everyone was in a mad Christmas rush, with the exception of the calm postal worker.

The butcher left early in order to arrive on time for his animal rights meeting.

Grass doesn't grow on a busy street, but the urban farmer determined to find something that would.

The gymnast had two left feet.

He became a cat burglar in order to pay for the stray dogs he took in.

Must be a politician.

Remember, a ventriloquist can say things without moving his mouth.
A politician can move their mouth without really saying anything.

An effective writer of comedy understands language concepts. In fact, its the manipulation of language that makes comic writing such a creative and enjoyable endeavour. So my unintentional misplacement of the object form of a pronoun had a comic effect. Albeit at Ron's expense. All my characters in vent or Magic are self-depricating and would never make light of a volunteer, audience member or, in this case, a forum member.

So Ron, please forgive me my written slight. I would never call you a gravelly voiced, redneck, metrosexual. I was indeed, referring to my Verna puppet.

Now, as much as I am tempted to develop a list for Ron, about Ron, that might cross the line of gentlmenly conduct. Ooooo the temptation is so great...

Creative writter
Enthusiastic student
Compassionate taxi driver
Patient teacher
Pinko socialist (well that applies to myself and most Canadians)
Dedicated forum participant

Me tinks he gots a tongue which gots him swolen in da mouth
we saws the eminie and he is us ems

That reminds me of a congressman who gets up to say some thing no one hears yet everyone complains about

john,
you need to say all those things in vent!!! then you will have a great practice set. remember,... no lips!