Hi all you great, talented vents, (yes, I'm buttering you up even if it is true.It can't hurt right?)
I am looking for camping jokes/ideas to use with my Squirrel, GOOBER, he likes nuts, (Axtell). He camps with us in the RV and has to share a trunk with KODAK, he likes to get his picture taken, (Axtell Bear). It's their RV - Thanks for the idea, Tony. GOOBER thinks that KODAK looks at him and smiles way too much. KODAK just likes to 'Smile'(Cheese)
Other campers have "animals" in their RV's and they all talk to each other. I need some ideas on what they would tell KODAK and GOOBER.
I belong to the "Good Sam Club" camping club, in Wisconsin and the state camp out this year is themed, "North To Alaska". I introduced Goober at the Spring meeting and he was a big hit so they have asked me to do a short show for their "Open Mike."
If there are any of you that camp and can pass along any ideas, that would be great.
Got to get out and get that experience!
Thanks for your time and help! This site is GRRRRRRRRReat!
You should go to Amazon and look for a copy of the old song, "Hello, Muddah, Hello, Fadah". It may be called Camp Granada. GREAT funny song that your puppet could lip synch too.
I'm surprised you don't call the bear Kodiak, whick is a city in Alaska, rather than Kodak.
I'm in Alaska right now. You could say that the bear came south for the summer so he could get a tan. He hopes to go back to Kodiak as a brown bear. (Kodiak is known as brown bear country.)
If they argue the squirrel could tell the polar bear how to stop global warming. "Stop breathing in and out!"
The advantage of being a squirrel. Nobody hunts me for my fur!
You could have the bear talk about camp food. "Tourists". What does a polar bear call an igloo? An I scream sandwich! What does a polar bear call a camper in a sleeping bag? A late night snack. (Or a sandwich.)
What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a squirrel? (Just a polar bear!)
June 4 2009, 3:26 AM
This is a routine I thought up for you. You can use all of it, or part of it, or none of it. It's for you.
You and the bear walk on. You tell everyone this is your pet bear, Kodak.
Kodak: OOOOAGGGG! He does a big yawn. Looks at the audience and then you.
He shakes his head, he is startled at first. You're
looking at him.
Kodak: How long have I been sleeping?
You: Over 6 months.
Kodak: OVER 6 MONTHS!!!!
Kodak: Where am I?
Kodak: ALASKA! (pause) Oh that is where Sarah Palin use to be the governor!
You: She still is.
Kodak: Oh! (pause) Is Dick Cheney still the Vice President?
Kodak: Oh. Animals like him.
You: Oh yea, and why is that.
Kodak: He never hits what he is aiming at.
Kodak: What are we doing in Alaska?
Kodak: Camping! Bears like campers.
Kodak: They bring bears food.
You: Oh yea! What
You: That's horrible!
Kodak: Campers are real easy to find.
Kodak: Well they light campfires, and then the bears know where to find
them. It's like that motel 6 commercial.
You: Oh yea
Kodak: You know! We'll keep the lights on for ya.
Kodak: You Know Bears like to eat people.
You: You mean, meet people.
Kodak: No! You heard me right the first time.
I've never met a human I didn't like.
You: That's horrible. Why are you so hungry?
Kodak-After a pause: Uh-I have not eaten for over 6 months!
Your looking at him and he is looking at you
Kodak: Did you get some plastic surgery done since the last time we met?
Kodak: You're looking pretty good.
You: Well thank you!
Kodak: yea-good enough to eat!
You: I better put Kodak up now so that I can feed him.
Kodak, tell everyone good night.
Kodak: Good night Everyone! Sleep tight, don't let the bear bugs bite.
Pleasant Dreams! HA! HA! HA!
You: Good night everyone!
As you are walking off you say: Stop that Kodak! Stop biting me!
You are still walking further off.
Kodak: Well you said you were going to feed me!
You: WELL I DIDN"T MEAN ME!!!!!!!
June 6 2009, 5:38 PM
Keep in mind that entertainment is anything of interest to the listener. We often feel that we have to come up with joke after joke after joke. My son does that to me on a regular basis, and I don't find it entertaining. Imagine someone reading a jokebook to you!
Try mixing some facts or stories in with your Alaska theme. Why would a polar bear be worried about global warming?
Bear: Do you know those restaurants that have a walk in freezer for the food?
Bear: Well, my walk in freezer is getting smaller and smaller all the time! I'm afraid I'm going to run out of food!
Alaska is having it's 50th birthday this year so pick up a golden anniversary prop, invite someone from the audience who is celebrating their golden anniversary, or 50th birthday anytime this year, and do a birthday magic trick. (Birthday silk, cake from dove pan, birthday hat tear, etc.) The real entertainment is the celebration of Alaska's 50th birthday.
Get a roll of quarters from the bank that have Alaska and give each volunteer an Alaskan souvenir!
Tell stories about the Alaskan gold rush.
Read a poem about the Alaskan gold rush. What? Just read? Sure! But put your best into it. Use different voices if there are different characters. There are some dandy's out there.
Tell people what causes the Northern Lights and try to do a trick with lights, such as de-lites.
Tell jokes about the long nights and long daylight hours.
"Did you hear about the lawyer who asked the defendant, "Where were you on the night of October 20th to March 3rd?"
Vent: What do you do in Alaska in the summer?
Bear: If it falls on a weekend we have a barbecue.
"I grew up on a farm and loved to sleep. But my dad made me promise that I would get up before the sun came up. So I moved to Alaska. I can sleep until early March!"
Ask the bear about Santa sightings. He probably has a few things to say about that. We have a skit on this site (search for polar bear) where the bear THINKS that Santa is a polar bear. It's better than it sounds. Check it out.
Brown Bear, not Polar
June 7 2009, 9:12 PM
Sorry, Tony, I should have said that Kodak was a Brown bear from Axtell, not a white one.
Still, thanks for the ideas. Some will work for any bear... Gets me to thinking and that is what I needed.
Kodiak with a Kodak
June 9 2009, 11:06 AM
Or talk about the kodiak bear with the kodak camera he got when he invaded a tourists camp talk about some of the pictures the kodiak might have taken for memories of his times on his vacations, add the kodak jingle.'celebrate the moments of your life'
Great "First Time " on stage with 'Friends'
June 24 2009, 10:26 AM
I just wanted to thank you great guys for the help with the ideas on the short "Open Mike" I did last week. It was great! NO ONE could tell it was my FIRST time to do it on stage. The rest of the week people kept coming up to me and saying, "Where are your buddies?", or "I sure liked the Squirrel, or, I sure liked the Bear." Even when we went out to eat, in the evening, they would ask were the Bear was and why he wasn't there to eat with us. I guess we were 'believable' to them. When they learned that I was to "Perform" and have someone critique my performance as part of the 'final' for the "Maher" course, they all said they'd be happy to write a critique for me. I could have filled a notebook!
I even did some "Planned' ad-libs that were perfect. First, Goober the squirrel was looking for nuts and in walked our "State Director", right on cue... "Here one comes now... " (I checked with her about using her in the act first. The "walk in" wasn't planned either!) She had a ball as did everyone else, because it was different than they had been use to seeing, and by the comments I received, I was pretty good too.
I even used something that happened that morning in the act. Goober commented on his "Name Badge" that he was wearing, but that the "State DIrector" had forgotten to wear hers that morning. If you are caught without yours, you get fined a quarter. That was something that everyone could relate to...
In the second appearance I had Kodak in a tent on stage sleeping. He was hungry and wanted "fast food" so I used some of the staff as part of the act too. I got comments that they liked the fact that I used the "State Staff" in the act and was real natural.
I had my main ideas of what I wanted to say, and went from there. I learned what still needs some work and what works. It seems that all week I was getting ideas to use in a routine. I'm sure my friends were getting tired of me saying, "I could make that into a routine for next time!"
You are right, get out there and get in the public and learn from it. You practice alone, but, the reaction from a live audience is what you learn from to make the next show better.
I'm already planning what to do next year. It was fun and I wasn't nervous at all. No pressure on a performance for "$" yet helped keep it FUN!
Now, I have to fill in and mail the last of the test questions off, with the critique. Then, decide where I can appear next and get some more experience? Hmmmm..... Thanks All.